OJ Simpson to search for the real racist

Here Is The Sad Tale Of Some Jerk Messing Up Nice Michigan Couple’s Clever Lynched-Obama-Chair Yard Art

Ken and Judy David of Grand Haven Township, Michigan, how do you feel about the “surprise” you got Wednesday morning, when some total jerk messed up your cool and witty Lynched Obama Chair display by adding another chair to your yard, on which was marked “4 more years” along with “racist pig” and some shouty potty talk? Were you delighted? Wait a minute, you were not delighted?

“It’s not nice,” Ken David said to his wife when they found the chair before 9 a.m. Wednesday, Nov. 7. [...]

Well, it is not as not nice as wrapping a dead pig in a Romney shirt, which, DO NOT DO THAT LIBERALS. But back to our story.

“That person there is the racist,” Ken David said of those responsible for nailing the branded chair on his property. “I never was a racist and I never intended to be a racist. The only thing I’m for is liberty and freedom.”

Well, and lynching. Don’t forget, you love lynching too!

Luckily, Michigan Live had already done in-depth reporting on the community reaction to the Davids’ lawn art, and discovered that the Davids’ neighbors “weren’t offended” by the lynched Obama Chair. Well, except some folks who objected that it was right across the street from an elementary school. And the fact that there was a whole community forum devoted to it did not stem from the Davids’ neighbors umbrage, just the rest of the town’s, so that is cool too.

At that community forum?

When it’s hanging from a tree, with the history of lynching in this country, it is a concern for many of us,” said Sarah Salguera, the [Lakeshore Ethnic Diversity Alliance's] program director.

About 30 people turned out Thursday night to discuss the delicate balance of free speech as some said they were offended by the front yard decoration and others defending the couple’s right to express their opinion.

The Davids did not attend the forum due to a previously scheduled commitment [ed: haha right] and have maintained there was no ill intent with the display that was accompanied by “Take Back Our Country in November” signs. The couple has also refused calls to take the chairs down from the trees.

“I think it’s a misunderstanding that the empty chair is a black person,” said Brett Tompkins, of Grand Haven Township. “The idea is the president isn’t there, the president isn’t leading.”

Sure sure mang, total misunderstanding.

Ken David, of course, is a member of the executive board of the Ottawa County GOP.

[MLive]

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153 comments

  1. T3rbo

    They are NOT RACIST. If you don't hang one of your chairs, now and then, the other chairs get the wrong message and get uppity. They just like order-some of their best chairs are black.

    1. JustPixelz

      EXACTLY. I have an ottoman which has made the living room its empire. Then there's the bar stool. (hee hee, i said "stool" on wonkette.) After I have a few drinks, I kicks me off and uses a force field to keep me from successfully climbing back up. And my desk chair got me in trouble at work. I just know it surfed all those porn sites in my browser history.

      1. bikerlaureate

        Your furniture is more assertive than I am.

        And your post is just another example of why I keep coming back to Wonkette again and again.

      2. T3rbo

        My advice to you-start wearing Klan robes. Everywhere. Just make sure it is clear that you are not racist while doing so

    1. editor

      damn skippy. the nailing down of lawn chairs has long been a black muslin atheist socialist strategy to terrorize the whites. also, not nice.

  2. edgydrifter

    You know what? You can have your country back as soon as you start acting like grown-ups again. Until then, we got this.

    1. T3rbo

      NO! I'M RUNNING AWAY FOREVER, AND I DON'T EVER WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR OBAMA! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

      1. bibliotequetress

        Sometimes we instigate class warfare too. Those poor, oppressed republicans. How do they have the strength to go on?

    1. T3rbo

      Whatever, reverse racist. It's called white people expressing their beliefs and opinions. Mock lynchings are like hillbilly Michelangelo sculptures, book burnings are performance art, and swamp buggy races are like beautiful operas. It's called Freedom!!!!!!

  3. Wadisay

    The Romney campaign was premised on the assumption that voter intensity wasn't happening unless it was happening to white people.

  4. SorosBot

    Um, if you were never a racist and never intended to be racist, why did you do something that was so ridiculously incredibly racist? And why do we have to keep asking that question?

      1. SorosBot

        Before throwing out the usual "How DARE you call me racist!" bullshit, the bigots should really check and make sure that what they have said or did was not so outrageously over-the-top racist that there is no way anyone could give them the benefit of the doubt.

        I actually got that after pointing out the racism at that one wingnut website from a commenter who referred to Obama supporters as gorillas, another who said they hoped black people would riot and burn down their cities, and one who wrote this:

        "OOPPS!!!! Misspelled Day —- should be dey
        I'll try again===
        Dey Ain't breakin' no law — It's legal 'cause its da racist "Gimme dat Party""

        Urgh.

    1. actor212

      Now now, in fairness, the guy's from a part of Michigan that might not have studied American history. He might have just wanted to make sure people saw the empty chair…

  5. memzilla

    I forsee a regular daily "Butthurt Racist Conservatard" column on Teh Wonket for many, many, many moar weeks.

    This is just not going to get old, evah.

    But enough of my viewpoint. What do you think, fellow Wonkeratti?

  6. AngryBlakGuy

    …and by the way, if you watched the video! Anyone wearing "croc's" during a television interview is automatically a racist!

  7. PuckStopsHere

    In Grand Haven's defense, the beach there is really, really nice. In defense of the Ottawa County GOP, well, there isn't one. I don't know why those people are the way they are, they just are.

    1. MosesInvests

      Yeah, there are racist jackholes even here in the People's Republic of Austin. (BTW, didn't some troll here a year or so ago refer to Austin as a "Stalinist enclave"?)

  8. SorosBot

    You know what is even more not nice? "Joking" that you support lynching the President because he's black.

  9. Oblios_Cap

    Well, it is not as not nice as wrapping a dead pig in a Romney shirt, which, DO NOT DO THAT LIBERALS.

    Sorry. Everybody knows we liberals only take orders from the Great Orange Satan.

  10. JustPixelz

    Say what you will about him, but he built that hanging chair. That makes him the kind of "maker" — not a "taker" — the Republican Party admires these days.

  11. Schmannnity

    Meanwhile in Virginia, any updates on the haberdasher with the Obama witchdoctor who cast a spell on Virginia's electoral votes?

  12. a_pink_poodle

    That's not a threat, it's a gift like that King of the Hill episode with the crazy pig company CEO!

  13. Oblios_Cap

    The Ottawa County GOP sure are into symbolism. I've given more lucid explanations while tripping.

    With votes, of course…

  14. elviouslyqueer

    The latter chair now has a drying potted plant sitting in it as a sign of “distress,” Ken David said.

    Sadly, this has got to be the saddest thing in the history of sad. Also, just plain symbolically pathetic, as well.

    1. kittensdontlie

      See, not a racist. The 'work of art' was a plant stand all along, and symbolically the Republic is in distress by reason of drought and cold weather….caused by Obama!

  15. docterry6973

    Why, oh why, can't the Ottawa Country GOP attract more minority support? It must be bigoted Democrats.

    1. PugglesRule

      Probably the same bigoted Democrats who suppressed the vote nationwide by portraying Hildegarde Mittens von Horsington Romney III as a rich, white male. How dare they?!

  16. widestanceromance

    Would it also be bad to stuff lunch meat up into the door handle of a car in the heat of summer? Peeing into the air intake vents of a car after eating alot of asparagus and not drinking much water that day? How about making pr0n scenes with a lawn nativity set?

    I'm thinking yes, which is why I've never done any of those things to people I deemed evil.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Pouring milk between the window and the outside skin of the car door. Cars are a lot better built these days so I don't know if it's do-able anymore.

      1. widestanceromance

        Frankly, between increased surveillance camera use and DNA testing, so many of the old classics are now ill-advised. It's been years since I did anything like the afore-mentioned things I've never done.

  17. Not_So_Much

    Is it time to start lynching Caucasian asshats so we can stop jumping to the wrong conclusions about noose-based "Art"?

    1. Gleem McShineys

      It only seems fair. And I bet that guy, if you asked, would agree he is also "for fairness."

    1. WootInTarnation

      Yeah, they still seem to think that the reason they lost is that they weren't hateful, racist, misogynist, stupid, offensive, deceitful, vindictive, corrupt, puerile and plain foul enough in this election, so they should double-down in the future if they want to win back the "traditional America" these lovely croc-wearing, hood-sporting troglodytes miss so much.

      I really, really hope that no-one disabuses them of this notion. Ever.

  18. AdamGR

    Here in Michigan we have a long, rich history of hanging things from trees with rope that have ZERO implications. Mostly they're tire swings, but this is kind of like one of those.

  19. VodkaGoGo

    “I think it’s a misunderstanding that the empty chair is a black person,” said Brett Tompkins, of Grand Haven Township. “The idea is the president isn’t there, the president isn’t leading.”

    He also just happens to be black and, in this clever metaphor, hanging from a fucking tree but ignore that, the fact that he's hanging from a tree is totally beside the point. The point is the president isn't leading and there is no way to make this point without a lynching.

  20. SoBeach

    Hey all you right wing pundits and strategists, look over here. This is why you lost. Racist assholes like this who say and do childish, moronic, racist shit.

    Get used to losing, dicks.

  21. Misty Malarky

    I dearly want RuPaul to be out next president, simply to watch the heads of cooters like Mr David's head explode.

  22. calliecallie

    These fucking people and their fucking bullshit. I am sick of it! Get over your stupid-ass selves and move the fuck on.

    OT: I made the mistake of going to the dead pig in a Romney shirt article and one of the other LA Times articles there caught my eye. (This is why I do not give a shit about this Ottawa County douchebag and his hurt little feelings.)

    Woman Raped for 10 Minutes on Metro Bus

    Authorities released a photo of a man detectives believe raped an 18-year-old woman for 10 minutes on a Metro bus. The victim was described by authorities as having the mental capacity of a 10-year-old. The attack took place in the rear of the near-empty bus Wednesday evening and went unnoticed by the driver, according to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. "During the rape, an unknown witness, the only passenger on the bus, attempted to get the driver's attention," the department said in a statement.

    Didn't try hard enough, apparently.

    1. fuflans

      jesus christ. can you imagine not kicking a hole in that driver's head?

      or rapists for that matter.

      the fuck is wrong with people?

      (thanks callie for the return to planet earth).

  23. StillGoinGreen

    Today, we are all green, hanging lawn chairs for freed… Oh, forget it, FUCK YOU, KEN & JUDY DAVID – YOU RACIST PIGS!!!

  24. BaldarTFlagass

    You can have your country back when you pry it from my cold dead inclusive multi-racial fingers.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      William Macy never intended for all those people to be killed when he hatched his "kidnap my wife" plot in "Fargo," either.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          What, it's been out for 15 years! Or are you waiting for it to come out on Super-Duper-Ultra-Mega Blu-Ray 4-D before you finally get around to watching it?

  25. TaggWatchesYou

    So by "Take Back Our Country", they mean take it back from empty chairs by lynching the gaping space of the void where a leader should be?

    Sounds legit.

  26. gullywompr

    Now see, if they had just scrawled "With Votes!" on their hanging chair, we could give them a pass.

  27. mrpuma2u

    If we don't hang a chair, the racists win. Umm, no that doesn't work. Wait, if you hang a chair, the racists lose. No wait I got it, if you hang chair, it's CUZ FREEDUMZ AND NO MUSLINZ GODDANGIT!

  28. MissTaken

    I don't understand racism. Aren't there plenty of other reasons to hate people? Like these assholes, they really suck.

    Be more creative!

  29. An_Outhouse

    “The idea is the president isn’t there, the president isn’t leading.”

    cause if he was leading, we totally would have an effigy of HIM swinging from that there tree limb instead of that stupid chair.

    1. PugglesRule

      "But we figured an empty chair was less likely to make the Secret Service visit our house," said no wingnut ever.

  30. An_Outhouse

    Obama should issue an executive order that people who lost their homes to Sandy, get to have a new one, at the expense of the racists. Kick the racists out and let the needy have their shit. Then deport the racists to Montana since that's what the rightards expect to happen anyway.

  31. Come here a minute

    It's easy to see how hanging the chair from a tree led to the misconception that the expression of free speech depicted a lynching — they should have shackled the chair to a tree to make their point clear.

  32. rickmaci

    If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, pretty sure it's a duck, KKKen David.

  33. tigernole

    i am so fucking sick of the "real americans" types using words like "liberty" and "patriot" to defend their vile actions, what a bunch of twats

  34. Severen13

    **The Davids did not attend the forum due to a previously scheduled commitment**

    Those crosses aren't going to burn themselves, ya know.

  35. Biel_ze_Bubba

    [/snark]

    Racist assholes can get away with this shit only for as long as the rest of the community tolerates it. Ken David will stop, maybe, when enough of his neigbors stop inviting him to backyard BBQs and the like. Or he'll turn into the nasty old crank that nobody in town talks to.

  36. Nostrildamus

    I really admire how he advocated lynching the blah guy in a really non-racist way. The blahs always appreciate that.

  37. Negropolis

    That's my Michigan. Hold those bigots to account. Make them work for their hate.

    "I never intended to be a racist."

    Isn't that just the line of the century? I wraps up everything about this.

  38. Negropolis

    If I lived on that side of the state, I'd have surely scrawled across his drive way "The trees aren't the right height for this shit."

  39. ttommyunger

    And Marcus Bachmann would say he wasn't ghey, except he can't talk right now because of that huge dick in his mouth.

  40. carlgt1

    down the street, a big house had a HUGE Rmoney/Ryan sign in the front – which some bad people spray painted "X's" over and "47% Say No" underneath. He still has the sign up as I guess some sort of "shame the liberals" thing.

Comments are closed.