mars curiosity rover 2016

A Children’s Treasury Of Ridiculous Write-In Votes Against Georgia Congressman and Witchfinder General Paul Broun

"Effective democracy"Rep. Paul Broun (R-Gethsemane) is in a pretty safe district, being that Georgia’s 10th is about as far-right and uber-religious as they come. Broun is the one, you recall, who is a medical doctor who does not believe in medicine, who runs around yelling things like — and we are not making this quote up — “All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell.”

This time around, the gentleman scholar from Athens ran unopposed for his seat in the House — but that does not mean people did not oppose him. This post was originally about how 4,000 voters wrote in “Charles Darwin” against Broun, because how sad is that, that the poor libruls have given up fielding candidates and are now just voting for dead scientists.

But! There is more! The charming folks at Flagpole magazine, because that’s what every business is called in District 10, have gotten a full list of write-in votes there, and they are fabulous, and your Wonket people have gone through all 371 pages of them, to bring you the big, grand, super-democratic list of candidates people would rather vote for than Paul Broun. (Okay, and a few other races that didn’t have a Dem on the ticket.)

There will be no more commentary, aside from that there were votes in several D-10 races for Leslie Knope, 2 Chainz, John Coltrane, and, a personal favorite, “My dog, Charles.” No word on whether that was related to another totally real vote cast for “Burning bag of dog shit,” which was specifically against Broun.

The electoral angst of District 10 and its Republican slate  is far, far funnier than any blogger could ever be, even though we suspect some of these candidates may not technically be eligible for office in Georgia. Here are some of the best votes against Broun, though they be a mite shuffled:

  • Oprah Winfrey
  • A bag of Rocks
  • Albus Dumbledore
  • A human being with a brain or at least not a religious fanatic
  • A wet rag
  • Alexander Hamilton
  • Anybody else on the planet
  • Bob Dylan
  • Ao;Pw0DDAAEYRKWW
  • Bambi
  • Bart Simpson
  • Big Bird
  • Bill Nye The Science Guy
  • Bill Clinton
  • Ben Franklin
  • Beyonce
  • Bob Ross
  • Brian
  • Burning bag of dog shit
  • Captain Jack Sparrow
  • Captain Kirk
  • Charles ‘Fuck Paul Broun’ Darwin
  • Charles Barkley
  • Charlie Brown
  • Chavez
  • Chewbacca
  • Cgycj Birrus
  • CM Punk
  • Cthulu
  • Copernicus
  • David Foster Wallace
  • David Tennant
  • Dog Shit
  • Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Elmer Fudd
  • Freedom
  • Evolution Is Real
  • Greg Allman
  • Harry Truman
  • Honey Boo Boo
  • Homer Simpson
  • Homo erectus
  • Howdy Doody
  • Humpty Dumpty
  • James Carter
  • Jesus Christ
  • John Scopes
  • Julian Assange
  • Lady Gaga
  • Lebron James
  • Led Zepplin
  • Literally anyone else
  • Lurr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8
  • Madea
  • McCommunist
  • Ultramantis Black
  • Maya Angelou
  • Michael Stipe
  • Mohammed
  • Mr T
  • Mom
  • Chris Christie
  • Clint Eastwood
  • Cookie Monster
  • Neil DeGrass Tyson
  • Neil Gaimam
  • No way Jose
  • Noam Chomsky
  • Obamaaaa
  • Obi Wan
  • OMFG
  • Optimus Prime
  • Pedro
  • Publix sub
  • Ron Swanson
  • Science
  • Skagnor
  • Subcomandante
  • The Great Pumpkin
  • Taylor Swift
  • Toby Keith
  • Vermin Supreme
  • Voldemort
  • Yoda
  • Willie Nelson
  • Willy Wonka
  • Zelda

And here are some of D-10’s other glorious write-ins, for freedom:

  • 2 Chainz
  • Christopher Hitchens
  • Clarence Darrow
  • Dracula
  • Dr. Mhm
  • Guy Fawkes
  • Fidel Castro
  • Howard Zinn
  • Huey Lewis
  • Harry Potter
  • Jay Z
  • Liz Lemon
  • Mitch
  • Peppy Le Pew
  • Rufus Wainwright
  • Seagrams Ginger Ale
  • Teddy Roosevelt
  • Stan Lee
  • Tom Jones
  • Tony Stark
  • YOLO
  • The Rock
  • Tim Allen
  • Turd sandwich
  • Weird Al
  • Matt Ryan
  • Elenor Rigby
  • Hulk Hogan
  • Mtn Dew
  • Pluto
  • Popeye
  • Alan Turing
  • Cher
  • Freud
  • Furby
  • Hairy Dawg
  • Mike Vick
  • Waka Flocka Flame
  • Bubba Gump
  • Dale Earnhardt Jr
  • John Grisham
  • Judge Dredd
  • Poop
  • Qbert
  • Rambo
  • Ronald Reagan
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Ted Nugent
  • Zoidberg
  • Al Gore
  • Buddy Rommer
  • David A. Titshaw [note: He is real, not just hilariously named]
  • Eagle
  • Eugene Victor Debs
  • Jarvis Muthafuckin Jones
  • George Clooney
  • George Patton
  • Hello Kitty
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Jesus
  • Joel Osteen
  • King of Kings
  • Mars Curiosity Rover
  • Satan
  • Truth
  • A Clown
  • F
  • Foxeye
  • Iggy Pop
  • Ron Swanson
  • Spongebob Squarepants
  • Stephen Davis
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Anthony Bourdain
  • Anyone else
  • Bacon
  • Batman
  • Darth Vader
  • Any sentient being
  • Elmo
  • John Coltrane
  • Jon Stewart
  • Kobe Bryant
  • Leslie Knope
  • Luke Skywalker
  • Mickey Mouse
  • Mr Ed
  • My dog, Charles
  • Stephen Colbert
  • William Jefferson Clinton

Democracy, a beautiful thing. [Flagpole, via tipster Sara Kate W]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barbara_

    Flagpole magazine? Is that sold behind the counter of the 7-11 because it shows pictures of men eating apple pie off Betsy Ross's tits?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Barb, I think it's a gay men's magazine.

      I mean, ol' Betsy *could* be one them "fag hags" but I doubt they'd lick pie off her boobies.

      • BadKitty904

        Well, as a politeness, maybe…

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh, but of course. How silly of me.

    • BornInATrailer

      Fapatriotic!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    There's some pretty clever entries there.
    Wait, this happened in Georgia?
    Maybe there's hope after all.

    • PugglesRule

      I'm surprised how few votes Alfred E. Neuman got.

    • rebelyankee

      I was thinking the same thing as I came across the name Rufus Wainright. That's a sad homo in that district.

    • flowerjargon

      This district encompasses Athens, which is home to UGA and (like a lot of college towns) is a liberal enclave within Georgia. Broun has publicly denounced the town; It's not really like any other place in the state.

    • http://bluemonkeh.blogspot.com/ BlueMonkeh

      Here in red suburban hell, we wrote in Donkey Teeth (h/t to Key & Peele) for all the races where the only option was a republican.

  • snowpointsecret

    My favorite from that list so far:

    "Better Options, Please"

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Misread it, I was thinking "Butter Options, Please" on a Betsy Ross pie slice.

    • PsycWench

      I rather like Honey Boo Boo.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Lurr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8

    I was really expecting a stronger showing from him/ her/ it…

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Seems kinda butch to me, but then maybe she drives a Subaru

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And only one vote for Cthulu?

      Maybe that's just because it's really hard to remember how it's spelled.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      And nobody voted for Kodos.

  • Pragmatist2

    He’s from freaking Gethsemane and no one wrote in Judas???

  • Oblios_Cap

    David Tennant

    The better Doctor, by far.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      Christopher Eccleston libel!

      (ITT: everyone posts their favorite Doctor)

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Eric Idle.

        (What? He would have been great.)

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      JON PERTWEE LIBEL, (for the olds)!

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Peter Davidson and Tom Baker for the nostalgia, but i have to say I think Matt Smith is absolutely killing it as The Doctor, no offense to northerners Tenant And Ecclestone.

  • Giveusabob

    But why no "Pancake Wrapped Sausage Dipped in Baconnaise?" That would have won the election, single-votedly.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Which one of you GA Wonketteers wrote "Burning bag of dog shit"? I salute that fine person.

    • BadKitty904

      As a Southerner, I was pleased to see "Publix sub" in the running, but was disappointed that neither "Wickles" nor "jar of Mama's chow-chow" made the ticket.

      • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

        What do you guys call those pickles you make in Kool-Aid?

        • BadKitty904

          Hmmm. That's a new one on me. Sounds more like something Alabama might do… ;0)

        • tabouley

          The End of Western Civilization.

      • PugglesRule

        Chow chow! As a recover(ing?)(ed) southerner, I remember chow chow fondly. Hella better than plain old pickle relish.

      • ChapterUndVerse

        No worries. They'll be nominated for cabinet seats.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      White bubbles spurted from my nose after reading this one, no more milk while Wonketting…

    • memzilla

      I thought "Burning Bag of Dogshit" got stomped in the primaries?

      • LesBontemps

        But made its point.

      • PugglesRule

        Got stomped! ISWYD :P

    • Geminisunmars

      I think if it had been a Wonketteer it would have been "Burning bag of salted rat dicks."

  • memzilla

    Freedom Riders + Wonkette Snark = This List

  • UW8316154

    ok, which one of us wrote in "Cthulu"?

    • http://wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Well… ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, after all.

      • memzilla

        Had a last-minute challenge from Shub-Niggurath. That's 1,001 votes right there.

    • BadKitty904

      C_R_eature.

    • GemlikeFlame

      A vote for Cthulhu definitely doesn't raise any questions of moral relativism, it is without question a vote for the greater of all possible evils and this website explains it all.
      http://cthulhu2008.blogspot.com

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Nobody wrote me in :-((

    • calliecallie

      Actor212 in 2014!

  • Schmannnity

    A pre-snarked post? Job destroyer!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      ON STRIKE!

  • FNMA

    Huey Lewis? Is he still alive?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Don't you get the news????

    • JerkCade

      You better let me know.

    • DCBloom

      Hey, it's still hip to be square!

    • ChapterUndVerse

      The heart of rock 'n roll is still beating.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    I really like Publix sux, combining political and commercial commentary in just two words.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Was that where I read, "Publix sub"? I thought it must be a submarine sandwich available at the Florida supermarket chain's deli. And it struck me that yes, this could be as appropriate a viable contender as anything!

      • BadKitty904

        Yes, it was. And they're damn tasty, as well as being a real bargain.

        • bikerlaureate

          Not if you get the Boar's Head meats, though. Ick.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        With Seagrams Ginger Ale as its running mate. Not the most experienced candidates, but probably the most delicious!

      • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

        I had "Publix sub" but then thought I had made a mistake and changed it to "Publix sux" which isn't nearly as funny.

        Oops.

  • Pragmatist2

    He's from Gethsemane and no one wrote in Judas Iscariot???

  • slithytoves

    Leslie Knope! Yay! My favorite city councilwoman. And she'll be happy to know that Eleanor Roosevelt was written in, too.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I call bullshit.

    Not ONE vote for Dick Hertz?

    • FakaktaSouth

      Seriously, Mike Stipe and Mike Vick, and not Mike Hunt? Maybe we are really old.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Or even the Cunning Runts of UGeorgia's track team!

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Or Dick Gazinya of porn fame?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Didn't he marry Nettie Nockers?

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Yeah, he had to (pre California Prop requiring love socks).

      • prommie

        What of Phill McCrack?

      • prommie

        Amanda Hugginkiss? Mrs. Chokesondick?

    • FNMA

      Or Jablome, first name Heywood.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Well, at least Cthuhlu got one, even if it was misspelled. Won't save the dude from a lifetime of backbreaking dominance and terror, but hey, he can be proud he voted for the ultimate winner!

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Mike Hunt.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I didn't notice a Sillius Soddus, or Biggus Dickus.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Not even an Incontinentia Buttocks!

        Altho to be fair, that's hard to write if you didn't get past the third grade. We are talking Georgia here.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Past the third grade? Hey, this isn't Soviet Georgia we're talking about.

      • memzilla

        Or Inanimate Carbon Rod! Or Kang, or Kodos!

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Or Hugh G. Rection?

    • widestanceromance

      Thankfully, a Hugh Johnson/Buster Hymen ticket was not thrust upon the electorate.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Don't try to ram your Johnson down my throat!

      • PugglesRule

        Thrust, eh? :P

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Best. Dinner Party. Fantasy. Guest list. EVER.

    • not that Dewey

      Anytime you can get Qbert, Bob Ross, and the Mars Curiosity Rover in the same room, at the same time, DO IT.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        I am seriously, going to carry with me into sleep tonight the wishful prelude-to-a-dream's-realization of this fantasy. ALL of the above listees, assembled for dinner and hobknobbing… then when things get GOOD and ass-smashed enough in overall mood and initiative, go hire a driver and a dozen U-haul's* to cruise the town in, cause I believe that's how they do "limousine-lahk" tour duty in some parts of Georgia?
        *image borrowed from Goonemeritus, below~

        • not that Dewey

          Instead of a U-Haul, maybe a double-decker bus? I'd love to see their faces.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            Adorable! And, yes. It occurred to me you can't really see the sights, within or without, given U-Hauls' lack of windows for opportunity. I was thinking of that episode of Jackass, maybe?or the movie? where the guys wore rollerskates in the back of a moving truck being driven around at a crazy pace. Aaaaand at this point my fantasy becomes way too complicated by extraneous circumstance, so we'll leave that last bit out~

  • memzilla

    I would have writted in Jules Winnfield, for teh bible versing. "The path of the righteous man…" etc.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Bambi, for the win. Avenging his Dad, obvs.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      The deerly departed?

      • memzilla

        Had lots of campaign doe to buck the odds.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I gave a buck or two

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Talk about being stuck on the horns of a dilemma

          • ThundercatHo

            Ahem, antlers not horns.

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Ahem, Ahem, Ahem…. FYI, I'm stuck on the horns of my new 2013 John Deere “Dilemma” tractor. Antlers are on those beasts that once a year pull the sleigh for that fat commie bastard in the red suit.

    • SorosBot

      That was his mom who was killed, not his dad, silly.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Oh sure, make fun of a widower! Why do you hate Amercia so?

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        She was his mom, but that was before she had the Addadictome surgery.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        How do you know Bambi didn't have two daddies, like the little girl who wrote that letter to Obama?

      • Rosie_Scenario

        Mea culpa. I am getting old and it was that image of all the buck with antlers that threw me off.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Slightly OT, but I just found out the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts; Beer nuts are $2.50 a bag, deer nuts are under a buck but you don't get the bag. Or maybe this joke. Also.

      • bobbert

        Argh

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Eugene V. Debs got a vote, yea!! But none for Gus Hall????

  • oenspiek

    Cthulhu:

    Because there is no lesser evil!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Yes. Why settle?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Who will be eaten first?

  • BadKitty904

    The Voice of the People.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    I can't believe Weedlord Bonerhilter didn't get any votes.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Then he remains in good standing as stealth candidate of our dreams~

  • CrunchyKnee

    Who is this Mtn Dew and how do I subscribe to their newsletter?

    • SexySmurf

      I was going to vote for Mtn Dew, but he's just too EXTREME!

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    The "Big Bang Theory" is not straight from the pits of Hell, it's from Chuck Lorre and CBS. However, it's easy to see where they went off track.

  • Botlrokit

    It would have been better for Broun, had this been a "spontaneous generation" (and thus proving his point about evolution being a lie), but alas, it was a mutation. Adaptability wins again.

  • Boojum

    Turd Sandwich 2014!

  • Selfish_T

    I am a little disappointed you haven't included my vote for Lizard People, which ended up with TWO votes. Also, someone just voted for "Doritos".

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh, a Romney supporter, eh?

    • FakaktaSouth

      I am pointing at you and saying, hey I know that dude, you and your friend the bicycle guy that we met at Manuel's…ANYway big ups for the LizardPeople, and Doritos, ALfuckingWays, and for being able to smoke inside a bar in Atlanta. Cheers.

      • Selfish_T

        Nailed it. And I'd just like to point out to everyone that while we're out in the middle of Paul Broun country, Athens, Ga. went 63-34% for Obama.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Everyone would vote for Bacon if they could.

    • Q_R_DeNameland

      Broun hates Darwinism. Darwin drew heavily for his methodology on the writings of William Whewell, a naturalist, philosopher, and theologian (basically a polymath) who was Master of Trinity College. Whewell sought to revive and reform the inductive methodological approach of Francis Bacon, who propagandized on behalf of the emerging modern science and against what he perceived as an entrenched Aristotelian scholasticism that ignored empirical evidence and sought to protect established dogmas (kind of like Paul Broun — though actually smarter).

      There you have it: three degrees of Francis Bacon.

  • Goonemeritus

    If the non-crazy residents of Georgia’s district 10 would put half as much effort into renting a U-Haul trailer and getting the fuck out of dodge maybe they would be happier

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      I was thinking they could have all just put that effort into selecting a viable opponent…. but what do I know

      • Goonemeritus

        There are districts where 80% of the electorate thinks George Bush was a liberal. Sometimes you just have to self deport.

      • mbatch

        Exactly what I was thinking. If this many people hate that asshole, why didn't the local dems run somebody against him?

    • malsperanza

      I dunno, they seem like a pretty happy lot to me.

  • SexySmurf

    Don't blame me; I voted for Turd Sandwich.

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      But Giant Douche won.

  • SorosBot

    Say yes to Knope 2012!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Know Knope In Dnope!

      • LesBontemps

        Too Knopey-Changey.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Ain't nothing funny about voting for Bill Nye The Science Guy. BNTSG 2016!!!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Can you imagine the size of the security detail Bill would need in Georgia?

  • SorosBot

    So he's from Athens, Georgia; the same town that gave us both the R.E.M. and the B-52s, with their very flamboyant lead singers, elected this moronic asshat? Huh.

    • CrunchyKnee

      There is this guy down there, Jerry Mander, he has ways.

    • DCBloom

      I thought the same. I have spent a little time down there, and being a college town, it seems quite liberal. Unfortunately, it's surrounded by the rest of Georgia. I'm really surprised there was no mention of another band from there…. Widespread Panic

    • prommie

      Flamboyant? You mean like Ace and Gary, the ambiguously flamboyant duo? Hah. I got your flamboyant; according to Fakakta, I out-flamboyant Fred Schneider.

  • TNlibtard

    For me, it would be a huge toss up between Burning Bag of Dog Shit and OMFG. They both represent my Christian values and to my knowledge aren't liberal baby killers. But, Honey Boo Boo would probably better represent the electorate of District 10.

  • iTuna

    Ron Swanson was listed twice, as he should be.

  • TootsStansbury

    This is what democracy looks like!

  • SorosBot

    Tom Baker libel!

    • Oblios_Cap

      I meant as opposed to the congresscritter.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I voted for, Ao;Pw0DDAAEYRKWW too.

    • TNlibtard

      I'm really throwing my weight and money behind Jarvis Muthafuckin Jones.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Tecumseh Sherman

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Be interesting to see a runoff between Seagrams Ginger Ale and Mtn Dew.

    I hope Wonkette stays on top of this one until the results are final.

  • RelicOven

    I'm rather pleased someone wrote in Vermin Supreme. Publix sub is a close second though.

  • SorosBot

    Optimus Prime? "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings" sounds way too liberally socialistic, and accepting to the likes of gays, minorities and puny fleshlings.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I'd vote for No Pleated Pants, too. I hate that asshole Pleated Pants.

    • HRH_Maddie

      He's a real smug bastard.

    • widestanceromance

      Downright unseamly if you ask me for an off-the-cuff response.

  • http://wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    I was hoping for at least one vote for Harry Balczak.

    • widestanceromance

      Teabagger libel!

  • BarackMyWorld

    I believe that write-in candidate's full name is Ron FUCKING Swanson, thank you.

  • TNlibtard

    Jarvis Muthafuckin Jones, all the way.

  • BadKitty904

    This is in Georgia and Button Gwinnett didn't make the ticket??? What kinda monkeyshines is this, anyways?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I have evidence that the Iranian Navy is just offshore of GA -10, all real Americans there are asked to swim, float, or walk out to sea and engage them in battle.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    capt jack or david tennant??!?!

    good god i could not make that decision!!!

    i am glad my democracy is not quite so hot.

    ED: AND I DID NOT SEE TONY STARK!!!!

  • DixvilleCrotch

    I like how someone just voted for the letter F. What does that even mean if a letter is elected? Ponderous, man…

    • SorosBot

      Well the letter F is already a proud sponsor of that child-indoctrinating Sesame Street.

    • TootsStansbury

      Did your shoes start to squeak?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, our fellow Wonketeer Dr Zoidberg should be pleased he made the list.

    • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

      Why not Zoidberg?

  • Mahousu

    “Burning bag of dog shit” is clearly a vote for Broun.

  • BadKitty904

    I'm behind the "Moon Pie and RC Cola" ticket!

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Poop and Fart should run together! (eww)

    • kittensdontlie

      And direct proof of the Big Bang Theory!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i would vote for that picture.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Rep. Paul Broun (R-GetSomeMoney)

  • prommie

    I second the vote for Dead David Foster Wallace. Depressed self-obsessed novelists for the win!

    • Botlrokit

      Sylvia Plath libel!

    • FakaktaSouth

      I was pleased he was included as well, self obsession can be a fun thing, just leave that depression alone, it is a drag. Do you like all my commas? I did that just for you. I also liked Dead Ben Franklin and of course Homer Simpson. Oh shit now I am getting on my plane. See ya!

      • prommie

        Sean I'd say the best one came from Tupelo, Mississippi
        I'll tell you now that grown men cry and Irish girls are pretty

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Overrated, also too.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    What? No "Sister Boom Boom – Nun of the Above"?

    I demand a recount.

  • Disassembly

    If they can indict a ham sandwich we should be able to elect a turd sandwich.

  • JustPixelz

    Those people did their best to destroy Broun. With votes. Literally.

  • Terry

    Po'Boy is a perennial candidate in Louisiana. This is Georgia. Sheesh!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Honey Boo Boo is not on the list? I thought this was in Georgia??

    • BumbleKid

      But she was! Democracy is saved!

  • Indiepalin

    Chet Morton

  • Oblios_Cap

    F

    Is he related to $arah's buddy "T"?

    • SorosBot

      Maybe that was a vote for Mr. F, a show of support for Palin herself.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      That's "Mr. T", I pity the fool that forgets that

  • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

    My dog, Charles 2016!

    • DCBloom

      See my avatar? That's Mr. Charlie and he is a lot smarter than the "real" candidate.

  • notreelyhelping

    Hey…at least 4,000 people in Georgia's 10th have a sense of humor. Maybe there is a god.

  • Mittaplasia

    Ben Dover needs a new campaign manager.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Vermin Supreme

    Oh, I've had that pizza from Pizza Hut.

    Slimy, yet satisfying.

  • ttommyunger

    I call total bullshit on that pix. First, it is way too clever and second, all the words are spelled correctly, ergo, this cannot be a representation of Georgians. (Also a total lack of tank-tops or overalls.)

  • C_R_Eature

    Well, that's the most juvenile and irresponsible voter behavior I've ever seen. With all the sacrifices people have made over the years just to secure the right to vote, you'd hope that we would take it a little bit more seriously.

    I would totally have gone with HUGH JORGAN.

  • BerkeleyBear

    Can't we just count the vote for Bourdain as a vote for any and all regional foodstuffs?

  • MUHAMMED_PBUH

    personal favorites:

    – WHOEVER WANTS IT APPARENTLY
    – UNDECIDED
    – AEON FLUX
    – YES
    – HELL NO
    – THAT GUY
    – YO MAMA

  • C_R_Eature

    If you think Georgia's District 10 is a mess, you should see what's going on in District 9.
    It's full of fuckin' Aliens.

    • calliecallie

      Undocumented aliens, no doubt.

      • C_R_Eature

        BUILD THE DANG MISSILE SHIELD!1!!

  • Beowoof

    Isn't a vote for a flaming bag of dog shit the same as voting for Broun. I see no discernible difference.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Can't see it, and you can't smell it either.

  • MrsConclusion

    A Pulitzer Prize in journalism to whatever Wonkette operative who typed (or even cut and pasted) those lists.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      A golden Carpal Tunnel Brace also, too

  • arduinohacker

    What? Thousands of names, and only one write-in for Sarah Palin? Oh, she must be spinning a sad today. Not even elected to some jerkwater Georgia district.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Tits ya'll

  • RomneysLogCabin

    Those names would make one bad-ass Congress.

  • DahBoner

    Noan Chomsky

    I take it this is the summary of a long, rambling sentence about how consesus is manufactured by the Industrial-Media complex…

  • HarryButtle

    Call me simple, but I'm a fan of a Bag of Rocks.

    And writing in Mike Vick makes a pretty strong statement.

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    Don't forget about his macho cousin, I. P. Standing

  • proudgrampa

    I would have voted for Nucky Thompson. He actually has some political experience.

  • Guppy

    No TruckNutz or Lizard People?

  • http://wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    TRUCK NUTZ

  • cousinitt

    Wait, what happened to Hooterville's own Arnold? All y'all didn't go and stick an apple in his mouth, did ya?

    Look inbreds, y'all don't just EAT your politicians, you coat them in molasses first then slowly spit-roast them until they turn a toasty brown, THEN you eat them. Jeebus Porkrinds, mix in some culinary skills.

    • calliecallie

      Alas, poor Arnold. Then they wrapped him in a Romney shirt and dumped him on a doorstep.

  • mormos

    STAND BACK! I'M GOING TO VOTE FOR SCIENCE!

  • batcountry101

    I live in Idiot Broun's district, which includes Athens, GA (my home). Athens is a blue dot in a sea of red. We got redistricted, and lost our Dem. He was replaced with our current rep. Don't blame us. We are living behind enemy lines, completely surrounded, but fighting on.

    The Flagpole is our local free alternative paper.

  • myykuul

    Honestly, great choices all, but I literally spewed at Publix sub. I mean, I'm sure someone walked into the precinct sporting their lunch and came to the logical conclusion at the optimal moment that yes, my six inch tuna provalone w/ lettuce, blk olives, BOTH peppers and a shot of mustard would run circles around this idiot.

    AND they got to eat the sub. THAT's Democracy. On whole wheat.

  • http://wonkette.com/ VA_Dreaming

    In Virginia, Hank the Cat (a real cat) got 6,000 votes for senator. The other candidates where Tim Kaine and George Allen. Many people in Virginia are convinced that Hank would do a better job than George Allen, almost as good as Tim Kaine, and much better than Broun. Of course, one of Hank's hairballs might do a better job than Broun.

  • deelzebub

    Is Witchfinder General a Good Omens reference?

  • calliecallie

    Vote for Pedro!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    But who will think of the Lizard People?

  • Nostrildamus

    Alas, no "Cuntly Dogfucker".

  • Calapine

    Not ONE vote for Hitler?!

    Apperently making people laugh over Youtube every day doesn't count for anything anymore.

  • https://www.facebook.com/preacher.hipple Preacher_Griz

    No votes for Smothered and Covered???!!