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Mitt Romney’s Transition Website Was Live An Entire Day After He Lost, Because He Is Terrible At Politics

bullet dodgedO hai Romney transition website developer! Did you know that if you have a website you do not yet want people to see yet, you can hide it? Like, you could put up a splash page that says “coming soon,” with kittens with googly eyes, or you could just have it in development pages and not actually published to the Internet! We do not blame you, web development is hard! You know: UNLESS IT IS YOUR JOB TO DEVELOP THE WEB. Here are some screenshots of the Romney transition website, which unaccountably was live for the whole Internet (but especially Taegan Goddard at Political Wire) to see! It was here an entire day after Miffed “47 percent” Romney shit the electoral bed! We especially like the ones we are gonna show you after the jump!

We are not saying Mitt Romney should not have had someone working on a transition website! It is important to have your ducks in a row! It is just that, as with every other single thing on his campaign, they did a piss-poor job, and now we have no choice but to laugh at them. MITT ROMNEY WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS?

This “Join the Administration” page is the funniest one. Like, did you know it is not always awesome buying yourself a cabinet position or whatever?

Wait a minute, what did it just say?

Hahaha, it said you have to show your taxes and stuff. AS IF! From now on, no presidential candidate will ever have to show her taxes, due to the precedent set by Mr. Senor Romney, unless of course she actually would like to win.

[PoliticalWire]

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221 comments

  1. flipdraw

    I wondered whatever happened to the tax bizniz. Better put some still-being-paid staffer to the task of filing that amended return!

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I'm still hoping to be Ann's ugly shirt (or face) draper. Someone should do SOMETHING to cover that SOON.

        1. PugglesRule

          I would pay $35 just to own that bird shirt so I could publicly burn it… but not until I scraped off the gold leaf or whatever it was that made it "worth" $990. Hideous!

      1. MosesInvests

        IMHO, it's not Egg's face that's ugly-she's actually quite pretty. HOWEVER, the sneering contempt for the peasantry that was the source of her usual facial expression really uglified her.

    2. PsycWench

      A good job would be to take a hint from the post-election McCain office and scrub the electronic devices before yardsaling them.

      1. Chichikovovich

        If I remember correctly, the Romney people did that after they left the Massachusetts governorship. Wiped all the harddrives etc. Which was not legal since they were not his property but rather that of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. But the modern Republican party is the party of "I'm going to do it, and I know damn well you won't prosecute it."

        So I have a feeling that the operation you describe is well under way.

        1. glasspusher

          Yes, my bro in Mass told me that Mitt's crew bought the hard drives from his admin when they could and destroyed them!

    3. NYNYNYjr

      I was all ready to start a new business pulling down the huge marble statues of Obama from all the city squares and recycling them into tiles for the presidential bathroom of Romney's New White House. What do I do with Fastobamastatueremoval.com now?

  2. Tealiban

    Someone needs to start a Tumblr called Mittens Kittens that is full of pictures of cats telling Miffed that's ok to be a loser.

    1. Lot_49

      Which he most distinctly was not–his "concession" PowerPoint/elevator speec h invited everyone to pray for Obama but didn't promise to help. Message: that guy's fucked. Everybody start praying.

        1. Stevola

          "No Apologies" will be followed by "I Apologize," which will be followed by "No Apologies II: I Never Apologized"

  3. FNMA

    So I guess they won't be accepting my application to be Secretary of the Interior. I was leaning toward Defense, because, well, blowing shit up would be kinda cool, but Interior, you don't have to go outside, right?

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Right – I think that's the job where you just write down whatever the Interior Decorator says, like: "needs more car elevators"…..

    2. mrpuma2u

      I was angling for chief of staff. I was all set to run around in the Congressional gym shower and yell at people to tow the line on whatever in the buff.

  4. boskolives

    It touches my heart whenever someone that's never done an honest days work (or an "honest" anything else) is so dedicated to putting people back to work. Even if it's cleaning his house, or his other house, or any of his other houses. Also.

    1. evoshandor

      Come on now, I'm sure he's had honest bowel movements…though I doubt he had to clean up after himself.

  5. PsycWench

    I like the instruction "clicking the button below will open a new window". Just in case you were anxious about that right-click or back button not working.

      1. PsycWench

        From an ad on Oracle or Friendster. Or maybe AOL. They needed the ad revenue to send the software updates on those floppy discs.

    1. Misty Malarky

      The APPLY ONLINE button is not working. Is there a phone number we can call Mitts on to apply, or can we just show up after the lunch rush?

    2. finallyhappy

      When the White House (after President Barack Hussein OBAMA!!- YEAH ,WE WON- again!) was looking for volunteers and the Prez had promised the girls a dog- I sent in a request to walk/clean up after said future dog. I did not get picked(I understand that the horticultural staff take care of Bo- although I was told that Sasha and Malia also bring him out for walks/runs as far as the kitchen garden). Maybe I can reapply for the second term(WE WON- WE WON)

  6. MacRaith

    Love the tagline "Smaller, Simpler, Smarter". They certainly have the first two of those down cold. They have a lot of work to do on that third one, though.

    1. Jennyjen798

      That's the tagline here at my government office here in the great old state of Tex-Ass. Except when you think of stuff that is smaller, simpler, smarter (faster) you get a lot of no can't do that or no that costs too much, that would just be too much work to change, or no one here can learn how to do that shit. So I go about pushing my paper like it's still 1982. /grumble.

  7. ttommyunger

    I am open to any position except Director of: "Proving That President Romney Isn't a Soulless Dick". That, my friend, is just a bridge too fucking far.

  8. noodlesalad

    In all seriousness, I am in SE Asia at the moment, and just had a few drinks with some friends (suck it, America, it's already Thursday night here). I'm drinking with a Sikh, and Hindu and a Muslim, and we raised multiple glasses to Obama, and I got kind of teary-eyed. Thanks for not fucking the world up, friends, and voting for this moran who I'm sure had a "the next four wars" tab on his bogus transition site! It makes for more happy drunks here in Singapore at the very least.

    1. BadKitty904

      My bf was in a conference call with Hong-freekin-Kong yesterday and got multiple congratulations on Obama's re-election. I'm kinda sensing a global sigh of relief goin' on here.

      Nice save, America!

    2. thatsitfortheother1

      I live in Germany. Obama's re-election is still front page news. CNN International has some shit about British chefs on.

  9. PsycWench

    I see the top pic says that the 21st century must be an American century. What the hell does that even mean?

        1. Lot_49

          Ha! No military. Everybody runs around chanting "Pura vida!" but who do they drop bombs on? Nobody!

    1. T3rbo

      yeah, what the hell does that even mean? Romney didn't have anyone in mind or lined up to work for him, so he thought this made sense? What was the thinking, people who didn't have jobs would google "Work for Romney Administration," and this page would be the number one search result? Totally unfit to govern

  10. BadKitty904

    I hope I have enough cash saved up to buy the federal "Director of Porcine Aviation" position in Rmoney's new regime!

  11. Toomush_Infer

    Actually, this is an ongoing work by Fux and Frends, based on the alternative reality system they've been putting together since the beginning of the election season….it's really just a work in progress…temporarily called "Bizarro World"….but still looking for the real (imaginary) title – suggestions?…

  12. Joshua Norton

    From now on, no presidential candidate will ever have to show her taxes, due to the precedent set by Mr. Senor Romney,

    The REAL precedent is the amount of money the rich asshats dropped down the crapper trying to buy the election. I haven't seen so many zeros in a row since the last time Wil Wheaton had a book signing.

    1. BadKitty904

      Managing to fuck away $400,000,000, with almost 0 return, is a clear and, I hope, lasting tribute to the GOP's outstanding business acumen.

    1. tessiee

      That really bad one where Bruce Campbell played a failed politician and James Spader played his smarmy, dickish sidekick.

  13. FakaktaSouth

    I like how Mitt seems to be looking off in to the future in that picture. The future of not being President, of being the loser he is, just stone cold staring off into nothing. We can thank Mormon Jesus for something for once.

  14. freakishlywrong

    I'm late to this party. I've been drooling over pictures of Romney "supporters" crying all over the 'tubes. Does this make me a bad person?

    1. caridiva

      OMG! I thought that I was the only…I laid in bed all day yesterday grinning gleefully at the sobbing pictures! Priceless!

    2. Mondo_Cane

      I struggled with this yesterday – it probably does, but judeo-christian tradition has it that it's forgivable….

  15. bloggingbalkanistan

    When I see this, I almost feel bad for Mittens! Losing is hard! But, then I remember that Mittens ran the most cynical, negative and dishonest campaign in recent political history and would have been an insufferable jerk to Barry if he had won-and those feelings all go away. ha ha ha.

  16. SnarkoMarx

    Am I the only one who feels a slight pang of disappointment that America will now never get to enjoy photographs of that little scamp, Tagg Romney, peeking out of the footwell of the president’s desk as his smiling dad sits above him signing an executive order mandating thinner gruel in workhouse orphanages?

    1. tessiee

      No, Tagg shares your disappointment.
      And Tool and Tuff and Ruff and Buff and Biff and Tush and Tits, also too.

  17. elviouslyqueer

    Oh please. According to NPR, Mittens hadn't even written a concession speech until it became clear that his ass was toast (Barry had written an acceptance and a concession speech, just in case).

    Denial ain't just a river for these morons.

    1. BadKitty904

      Barry is a professional. Mitt is a delusional mannequin who was sure he could buy the presidency.

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      I'm kinda surprised that, in his concession speech, he didn't announce the Romney-Obama Co-Presidency.

    3. actor212

      When Blitzer said around 9:30 Tuesday night that they couldn't get hold of any Romney advisors about the loss in PA, that they were all holed up in a conference room and that the TV screens in the ballroom had been switched from showing results on FOX to campaign videos, I turned to my daughter and said, "I can't believe they're just writing the concession speech now"

    4. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      It's part of attraction philosophy. If you only write the victory speech, then victory just comes to you. If you write a concession speech, you invite defeat. And I bet Barry's was Awesome.

  18. tessiee

    OT, but at last now it can be said:
    http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-mean-if-i-lose
    Excerpt: "Mitt Romney makes me want to drive a scalding hot nail into my eyeball. He’s a piece of fucking dog shit who has done nothing in this world except figure out how to say things people want to hear in order to get what he wants. He’s a gutless cocksucker pig fuck."

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    They went ahead and let it go live in order to give the folks on the right something to fap to through the tears.

  20. finallyhappy

    I saw a wedding announcement in the NY Times- two people who both work at Bain and Co. I was guessing this was not Bain's Deli. At least working at the Deli- you would be doing something decent and useful

  21. ElPinche

    Well……..I'm glad the idiot didn't win. Only an idiot would believe his own lies ("POLLS AINT REAL, THEYR OVERSAMPELING DEMOCRAPS!!).

    1. drewehartnyc

      Actually, it wasn't taken and I was so surprised, I bought it. Hmmmmmm. what to do with that domain name?

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Just steal content wholesale from the wingnut sites. Think of the bumper stickers, coffee mugs, T-shirts, caps, and greeting cards you could market, with that gold mine of material!

  22. boskolives

    Uber-Happiness over all of the Koch Bros bucks that went down the Romney hole, which meant that they couldn't go to support any of the other repub asshats. Not ignoring you Shelley, it's just that you're a comparative piker with your casino chips and all.

    1. PugglesRule

      ME too! And I didn't pay a gazillion bucks to get mine. I got the top score on the civil service exam.

  23. Abernathy

    Felt the same way when Mittens proudly announced that he only wrote an acceptance speech. Cuz you really want a President who only prepares for the best-case scenario.

  24. sbj1964

    I have been reading comments posted in Conservatard Blogs many of them are claiming they are going to leave America.I have volunteered to help them pack,or drive them to the airport.Others are just having a complete melt down.I fear some may be suicidal.The red state cult of stupid needs a hug.

    1. actor212

      No, man, this is great! Most countries won't let you immigrate in unless you a) have bookoo bucks or b) have a skill that one of their citizens doesn't have.

      This is perfect! They can be…dare I say?…ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!

    2. PugglesRule

      If they plan to go to Canada, remind them that Canada has universal health care AND marriage equality. The upside is, no hurricanes!

  25. FNMA

    Off topic, but here it is a couple of days later, and I am still enjoying the fuck out of the wing-nuts losing their shit over Bammerz kicking their ass. Does that make me a bad person?

    1. Mondo_Cane

      if you haven't been there yet, go to Michelle Malkin's blog and check out the comments – golden –

  26. sullivanst

    ♪♫
    There's a whole lot of Romneys suffering tonight
    From the disease of conceit
    Whole lot of goobers struggling tonight
    From the disease of conceit
    Comes right down the ballots
    Down the long lines
    Rips into your senses
    Through your body and your mind
    The schadenfreude's so sweet
    The disease of conceit
    ♪♫

  27. Terry

    "This “Join the Administration” page is the funniest one. Like, did you know it is not always awesome buying yourself a cabinet position or whatever?"

    It's good of the Romney folks to warn people up front that they'd have to go through an FBI background check. That must be a concern for a lot of their campaign contributors.

  28. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'll be happy to take a job helping Willard transition himself completely out of sight. With that experience in hand, I'll then offer the same services to the many other GOPtard politicians who we'd just as soon never see again.

    1. T3rbo

      Nope, that was Allen West. If we get into trouble with Iran, we just have to fire a gun next to its head and scare it into backing down. That totally would have worked-thanks, vermin

      1. UW8316154

        http://articles.latimes.com/2011/dec/15/news/la-p

        Cain shared the idea with ABC's Barbara Walters during her annual special on the "10 Most Fascinating People." Cain said he thought he'd be a good pick because he wants to "influence rebuilding our military the way it should be."
        Walters, stunned, reminded Cain of his struggles during the campaign with topics like Libya. And there is always Uzbeki-beki-beki-stan-stan.

        "I have been doing my homework ever since that difficulty," Cain said.

  29. LibrarianX

    Hey! He spent the last seven years practicing that pose (see above). Too bad he didn't practice standing for something.

  30. owhatever

    God: Mitt, didn't you get that golden plate I sent, telling you not to run for president? I had Moroni take it down personally.

    Moroni: I was stopped at the front gate by one of his sons, Twat, because I looked funny.

    God: So gimme back the plate. Gold is going up again.

    Moroni: Can't. I buried it somewhere. He can dig it up later.

  31. Rosie_Scenario

    Not sure what man would want to be "shorter and simpler," but when Mitt's right, he's right. "Smarter" — not so much.

  32. mustangsavvy

    Poor Mittens. He woke up yesterday, totally bummed. Had to call and cancel all the ties he bought for his first 100 days in office. Had to cancel the "I'm the President!!! Tax Cuts for Everyone!!" Pool Party at his Caymans home this weekend. Had to cancel the order of "Thank You for Giving Me All Your Moneez" cards for his donors. Not to mention that voicemail from Bamz that he had to white knuckle thru…..something about meeting up soon. SIGH.

    He tells Ann he just needs some alone time. Fires up the 'puter, tries to surf a little Internet for some soul soothing cat videos and BAM! He sees his transition website still up and running. That had to have given him a massive emotional wedgie. Poor Mittens. And he can't even grab a beer to cry into! This man has suffered.

  33. mosjef

    On the other hand, Romney's http://www.AbjectFailure.com, the National Disgrace and Epic Election Loss Web site is live and holding online interviews for Romney/Ryan Imaginary Cabinet positions. There's a touching blog from Paul Ryan about having to bang his own wife and put his own hat on backward now that the Secret Service won't do it for him.

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