About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Antispandex

    Truth in advertising.

  • nounverb911

    Considering Mitt's size, it's a wonder Egg ever got pregnant.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Hullo???? RAFALCA??!?!?!?!??!

      • woolmyn

        Explains why the sons are horse's asses.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          At least they came by it honestly.

          Somewhat honestly?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Rudesby.

      • Nostrildamus

        Fuck Ann and the horse that rode in on her.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Hmmm… good point.

      Maybe there really is something magical about their underpants?

    • tihond

      That's actually a Reince measurement.

      • Ruhe

        Dementia Priebus?

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Hey, where has he been?

        oh…….

        Reince Priebus ‏@Reince

        Thank you @MittRomney and @PaulRyanVP for running with grace and courage of conviction. You fought hard and made us all proud.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I sense a tee ball trophy for those two.

        • StillGoinGreen

          Republican Memo

          Date: 11-7-12

          Subject: Election 2012

          Dear members,

          We can't blame the black dude this time, so, I guess we have to give credit to the black dude this time.

        • miss_grundy

          He actually tweeted that garbage? Someone should smack him..and not with votes either…

    • tessiee

      Every spring, he swam over her.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Bow chica wow wow

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    This explains Egg's obsession with horses.

    • CivicHoliday

      Catherine the Great Libel!!!!11!!!1!

  • Come here a minute

    Mormon Jeebus does not approve this message.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Lemme see…Michelle, about a foot apart, Egg, a few millimete–

    Oh my God, they even posed for the ad!

  • memzilla

    Hmm. These women are talking about their husbands, I get that. I can't decide, though, if their hand gesture refers to their husband's dick size or chances of electability.

    • BornInATrailer

      This correlation was actually Nate Silver's secret sauce. Shh.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Doesn't matter. I wish I could stop smiling, though. My face is starting to hurt.

      • njstore

        प्यार

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Ami-o tomake khub bhalo bashi, moni.

      • mille derps

        Would it help if I told you my state senator is Strom Thurmond's pasty-faced son? http://bit.ly/PEWF6C

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Cured. When do I report for duty?

        • unclejeems

          When it comes to people named Thurmond in South Carolina, nothing secedes like success.

        • Geminisunmars

          He doesn't look like he is part black.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            That's the distaff side of the family. He's just part hack.

    • Negropolis

      Yes. AOT,K.

  • ChrisM2011

    The Mormon Tickler.

    • LibrarianX

      You've just given me nightmares.

    • Nostrildamus

      AKA "Stubby"

    • Negropolis

      I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • LIT_Fag

    What? No Jill "I've seen Joe up close" Biden in the ad?

    • tihond

      That's a three page foldout.

      • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

        Are Dr. Jill's arms that long? She's rather petite.

    • BadKitty904

      They didn't have a wide-angle lens…

    • Negropolis

      I bet she has named it "Big Fuckin' Deal."

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    But wait! Don't Asian men have abnormally small thingies? So that means Egg has a new career already lined up!

    • mavenmaven

      can't be abnormal as they seem to work just fine, its not mormons that produced 5 billion chinese…

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I didn't say they didn't work, why else would they need condoms?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      No. (thinking fondly back to early boyfriend) Most definitely no. HAHAHAHA. Oh god.

      • njstore

        Saca

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          HAHAHAHA. Oh, god. Yes.

          How come you know that one?

    • BadKitty904

      Um. 'Pends the type of Asian – Thai vs. Chinese vs. Japanese vs. Indian vs. etc. And the individual. And that's all I've got to say about that.

      • njstore

        Having spent most of my life in those regions. The Caucasian view point is generally the unkown, unknowable and therefore suspect. Unless you know. Now let's talk about Turks. Rebecca?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Well, see, I'm a Viking, and ours have world renown, meaning I don't have to pay a lot of attention to relative endowments.

  • gullywompr

    Barack Obama's dick is so big, there are already GOP plans to impeach it.

    • gullywompr

      Obama's dick so big, it got more votes than he did.

      • SmutBoffin

        Barry's dick so big, it got its own congressional district.

        • SmutBoffin

          B.D.S.B., Nate Silver can't model it with alla his numbers.

          • SmutBoffin

            B.D.S.B., Mitt almost tripped over it walking out to give his concession speech.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            B.D.S.B., he can land Air Force One on it.

          • SmutBoffin

            B.D.S.B., it has it's own microclimate, and the forecast indicates a significant chance of gettin' wet.

          • ProgressiveInga

            BDSB when it sits around the house, IT SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!!!

          • Toomush_Infer

            What about the Senate?…

          • gullywompr

            B.D.S.B., it has it's own fiscal cliff.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            B.D.S.B. so big, yo mama say "Damn, 'at's BIG!"

          • Lascauxcaveman

            B.D.S.B. so big, when he sexes Michelle, her mama even walks funny for a couple days.

          • Mittaplasia

            BDSB if you painted it gray, it would be named Moby.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            BDSB, it has its own Secret Service detail.

          • ph7

            BDSB, Puerto Rico is now resigned to being the 52nd state.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            BDSB, when he dedicates the Freedom Tower, everyone's going to go "There's two?"

          • BadKitty904

            BDSB, the socialists wanna nationalize it.

          • redarmyzombie

            You people should all be ashamed of yourselves…

          • gullywompr

            Obama's Dick loves the smell of Napalm in the morning.

      • mavenmaven

        The only prick bigger than that thing is Trump.

        • tessiee

          You're wrong by a few inches; Trump's an asshole.

    • ph7

      Ken Starr's already penning the lurid footnotes describing the Article of Impeachment.

    • gullywompr

      Obama's dick so big, it is the new secretary for the department of Obama's Dick.

      • HarryButtle

        "Obama's Dick Czar" has a catchier ring. Good name for a band.

    • BloviateMe

      Obama's dick is so big, it has an elbow.

    • gullywompr

      Obama's Dick wrote his acceptance speech.

    • MissTaken

      Obama's dick is so big it has it's own dick. And Obama's dick's dick is still bigger than Mitten's dick.

    • BumbleKid

      Obama's dick is so big, it was the 15th swing state.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Schwing state, you mean

      • Negropolis

        Comment of the Thread.

    • gullywompr

      Obama's Dick so big, senators come out of it when he comes.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …I heard Obama's dick was elected to the House of Representatives last night!

      • Negropolis

        Which means that it also has two senators.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      A slight detour: "Take my dick…please."

    • gullywompr

      There is a Constitutional amendment currently being considered to allow Obama's Dick to run for a third term.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Four more hours!

    • coolhandnuke

      Obama's dick is so big they've re-named Florida Obama's Dick.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …I heard Obama's dick is so big that the National Science Committee is considering using it as unit of measure for interstellar travel.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …"captain, I have detected a Klingon vessel 6 Obama dicks away. How should I respond?!"

        • gullywompr

          "Pfft! Ignore it. It would take decades to get here from that distance."

    • TootsStansbury

      The POTUS' dick is so big it got a Nobel 'piece' prize.

    • gullywompr

      Obama's Dick is a bigger threat to Israel than Iran's nuclear program.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …so it's considered a weapon of mass destruction?

        • MissTaken

          it's a weapon of ass seduction.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Jesus, girl, you are on a fucking ROLL today. SB must be there.

          • MissTaken

            Actually I'm at work nursing my post-election hangover. I'm super sleepy which usually means silly comments.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            This means you need to DRINK MOAR.

          • SorosBot

            Luckily your sleepy silliness is very, very funny; even more so in person.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Well, *I* wouldn't know about *that.* Hmph!

          • BadKitty904

            Dang!

    • coolhandnuke

      Obama's dick is so big that if you stand on the very tip top you can see Russia.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I guess we know why Sarah Palin got out of politics!

      • gullywompr

        Obama's Dick still has snow on it in the middle of summer.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          That's not snow.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        He can see Russia from his dick.

        • gullywompr

          Obama's dick so big, they had to build an even-more-western wing.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            ODSB, he can water the rose garden from his bedroom.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            ZOMG.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Gotta admit, I cracked myself up with that one.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Me too. The mental image of the POTUS watering the roses, YES!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Michelle calls him "The Human Tripod" in private.

    • gullywompr

      This is a dark day in America – Obama's Dick is blocking the sun.

    • redarmyzombie

      My God, just how big IS this comment thread going to get?!?!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        As big as Obama's dick?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          No fukkin way.

          • gullywompr

            Unpossible.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Well, if you guys would just work a little *harder* …

        • redarmyzombie

          I saw that coming exactly 0.3 seconds after I hit that "submit" button…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (Beams proudly)

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            There are gels that will help you with that.

    • Nothingisamiss

      ODSB Dick Morris is lying about it,

    • Nothingisamiss

      Obama's dick: no concession speech neccessary.

      • gullywompr

        Obama's Dick speaks for itself.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Obama's dick kicked Chuck Norris's ass.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      B.H.O.'D.S.B, Gov. Christie wants it as part of a new Wax Museum and eventually use it as protection against rising waters in NJ.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, but it's too big to fail…

  • Lascauxcaveman

    OMG, the facial expressions are pixel-perfect!

  • nounverb911

    But what do Mitt's other wives have to say about this?

  • SmutBoffin

    FWD: Fwd: Re: FWD: LOL SO TRUE

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    They're illustrating the size of their men!

    • StillGoinGreen

      Oh, I GET IT!!..?? Wait, I. Don't. Get it.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        There's nothing really to "get".

        • HogeyeGrex

          Not for Ann.

      • StillGoinGreen

        I thought you were facetiously pointing out the obvious, to which I was amused and replied with my own "dumb blond" style retort. If I mistook your comment as intentionally farcical, I apologize.

        Good day to you, Sir/Madam

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Aw, now. Let's not fight, eh? We're mostly still *glowing.*

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            Agreed.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (Hugs you)

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Lol, rubbers are for boys!

    • BloviateMe

      So "rubbers" is slang for priests?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This is irrelevant since soon everyone will be forced to get gay married. Ladies, the line starts right over there.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Dibs on Michelle!!!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Me first!

  • YouBetcha

    Biden's is still bigger.

  • ThundercatHo

    One size fits all?

    • HateMachine

      And the other size doesn't fit any.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    US Amercia politics as Blazing Saddles all over again.

    Is it twoo that your people are gifted?
    It's TWOO IT'S TWOOOOOO!!!

    • UnholyMoses

      That's great, baby, but that's my arm you're sucking on.

      Per Kris Kristoferson (during a tribute to Richard Pryor, who helped write the flick) that that was the ONE line — the only one — that the censors cut out of the movie.

      It does explain why the screen is black* for about 5 extra seconds after it.

      (* Pun acknowledged; not intended.)

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Sad, innit?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I remember that my high school paper in Redlands CA did a review of BlazSad when it came out, and the student/critic pointed out that everyone in the theater was laughing so hard about the It's Twoo line that they didn't hear the Sucking on my Arm line. So maybe it made it past the censors initially and then got pulled?

    • MosesInvests

      'Scuse me while I whip this out.
      BTW, I once saw Blazing Saddles in a theater in Jacksonville, FL (the buckle of the Bible Belt). It was sort of surreal being the only person in the theater laughing at half the jokes.

  • StillGoinGreen

    Now we see why "He a Mormon and he aint got no hoes".

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I DON'T GET IT!!!!1! It's not facetiously farcical!

    • Mittaplasia

      Hose?

      • StillGoinGreen

        I see your double entendre and raise you one "AHHH-HAAA"!

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    All we are saying, is give sperm no chance…
    ~

  • SorosBot

    It would look better with Egg giving her angry "How dare you people not elect my husband!" death glare from last night.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Geez, I'm surprised Michelle doesn't walk with a limp!

    • MissTaken

      Why do you think she wears skirts all the time?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Easy access?

        Wut?

        • MissTaken

          Easier to hide walking like she just got off a horse

          • redarmyzombie

            Come, now, at least a *little* class for our dear FLOTUS…

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I'm surprised Bamz doesn't walk around in tight circles.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way, because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs and he's bred to be the better athlete because this goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trade'n the big… the owner… the slave owner would, would, would, would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have ah, ah big, ah big, ah big black kid see…

      / Jimmy the Greek

    • Mittaplasia

      She ain't bowlegged; she's pleasure-bent.

  • CrunchyKnee

    The Chiners use condoms??!?

  • UW8316154

    Nice. Very nice.

    I'll bet Ann's expression would change if she had Michelle's been having.

  • UnholyMoses

    Well, that bottom picture makes me not want to have sex.

    So … BIRTH CONTROL SUCCESS!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    This was a debate question that was never asked. However, don't think if it were the result would have been anything other than Big Bird's revenge.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    now this is a wonkette post for the ages.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      It is like something out of Dickens.

      Please sir, I want some more.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Heh heh, "Dick"ens

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          guilty again…

    • Negropolis

      Or, was is one for the angels…?

  • Lot_49

    One of them woulda made a great FLOTUS, in the opinion of her husband. The other is a great FLOTUS in the opinion of everybody who counts.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Yeah, I'm sure Ann would have been a great FLOTRH (FLOT Romney Household).

      She made it quite clear that she didn't care if we didn't want her to be the FLOTPC (First Lady of the Peasant Class).

      • Lot_49

        That is to say, “You people…”

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Okay, if that is the title sequence for The Brady Bunch 2012…I might watch. But, where is that wacky maid, Alice?

    • Negropolis

      Clinton got to her first.

  • Lucidamente1

    Translation:

    When you look at Egg Romney, the male body has a way of shutting that whole thing down.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I bet the sound that makes is deafening.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        You know that sound effect when PacMan gets chomped?

  • sullivanst

    Contraception, and immediately above it, the reason you need it.

  • Guppy

    "My man's electoral vote is this big!"

  • Baconzgood

    I'd definatly hit that (one of them sexualy and one with a 2X6).

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Bacon!!!

      • Baconzgood

        In the porky flesh. I'm at a new company so I have to look productive for a year or two until they put me on outside sales. I miss my 5 weeks vacation, drinking durring lunch but most of all snarking on Wonkette.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I'm sure you are working the Baldar plan—really bust ass for a couple of years and impress the shit out of everyone, then rest on you laurels 4evah.

          • Baconzgood

            YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!!! HA-HO-HO-HO!!! HEY-OOOOOH!!!

            I can't wait to get out on out side sales again but the company wants to keep me on a leash because there are allota industrial spies in my industry. Believe it or not, there is a shit load of $$$$$$ deli slicers and grocery store cases. ALLLLLLOTAAAAA $$$$$$$!

          • njstore

            Man, if I could help you get back here quicker, I would. But it is not my industry. You are missed. Your stories are the best. Open share day on Wonkette ate the best. Keep on keeping on.

          • Chichikovovich

            Are you a tenured professor too?

    • Callyson

      Dude! Good to see you!

      • Baconzgood

        You on Wonkette like me….you really like me.

        *sniffle*

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          We LUV you, silly. Sheesh. Harmony times we gotta tell ya this shit?

          (Hugs the little piglet)

          • Baconzgood

            Hugs Back MITT!!! You know I was stressed about going out of my pond into another one. These people are nice…..TOOO nice. I don't know who I'll put a dead lizard into their lunch bag. This is strange after working with a "corporate enviorment" for the last 15 years. It WAS really cut throat and "office politics" now I work with a Ma and Pa place (and make 20% more each pay check). Who to I have to give the smack down to?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I know. TOLD youse they were gonna totes love you! I am so fucking happy for you, man. You're getting what you needed and wanted and deserved!

            Sorry, I just gotta hug you again. (HUG SQUEEZE) Yeah. That's better!

            Give the smackdown to the RWNJs online. But first, drink DEEP of their TEARS!

          • njstore

            A nicer kinder Baconz? Who'd a thought.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Give him a coupla days, and he'll be trying to sneak dead lizards into *our* lunchboxes. (beams proudly) Why, he could be *my* kid.

    • UW8316154

      Hey buddy! Nice to see you, stranger.

  • RomneysLogCabin

    Oh Michelle, you're so modest.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Egg's face says electile dysfunction.

  • Goonemeritus

    I think it is time we start ignoring all things Romney. I think we Democrats owe him our heartfelt thanks for running such an awful campaign. When you consider how truly uninformed the American electorate is you can't in good continuous give us credit for choosing correctly. Without Mitt's constant waffling, obfuscation and plutocratic high jinxs it might have turned out differently. I for one wish Mitt a happy retirement and sincerely thank him for his 6 years of work towards electing a black guy.

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      Plus we all need to get ready for our grand bargain thank-you prize.
      ~

    • James Michael Curley

      Working my Ward for election day is getting to be a real downer. When the polls were closed in one district a thirty something bimbo showed up twenty minutes late and wanted to get in to vote. When I told her the polls were closed at 8:00 PM I heard how as she was not being permitted to vote "This is an unfair election." She related that the storm chaos made transportation out of the NYC bus terminals a 'nightmare' and how 'that Obama' should make an exception for that.

      Meanwhile I asked her; 'The traffic was heavy but you still stopped off at home to change your clothes?' She asked how I would know that and I told her she was made up for mid-Manhattan mid management but she was wearing a pair of frayed jeans, old coat and wet weather boots. Now it seemed to become 'That Obama' now runs unfair elections which require her to ruin her best work clothes.

      • miss_grundy

        How can you ruin your work clothes by voting in New York? You no longer have the old voting machines, the ones that you pulled the lever to close the curtain behind you. Don't you guys have the punch cards or the video screen machines now? Even if she left work at 6:00 PM or 7:00 PM, she would have had enough time to get in line.

        • James Michael Curley

          I’m in NJ. This woman certainly appeared to have came home from NYC, changed and then went out to the polls so her claim that the delay was caused by crowding at the PA was bogus.Met a few other BS spewers during the day like a ‘challenger’ who said her Primary Badge was good for the General election and was asking people their party affiliation before they went into the voting machine. Challengers can ask the polling location ‘judge’ to inquire about perceived irregularities. After I touched off that discussion, I left when this Republican Challenger was saying it was her constitutional right granted by her going to the ‘school’ to challenge and that included knowing which party the voter belonged too. Now in a party primary state like NJ during the primary a voter has to declare his party affiliation before he votes so he doesn’t cross party lines. This women was at first insanely partisan, second badly misinformed and third a hack of the local Republican Party Chairwoman who is seriously deranged as to what ‘values’ are.Most NJ counties made an investment a decade ago in machines which have a plastic overlay which is printed and placed over a panel of touch sensitive button cells. When pressed they show a green X to the right of the candidate’s name. The advantage, when necessary as during the electric outages in NJ, is that they have a sixteen hour battery pack and can run the entire time of the polling on the battery pack.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I have often wondered if wives discuss the "size issue" with their girlfriends.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Do you discuss your wife's cup size with your buddies?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        IIRC, only when I'd wish they had been bigger…

    • Geminisunmars

      Oh, and a few other things, maybe.

    • njstore

      Yes.

  • arihaya

    Chinese Translation : Use Condom to enjoy huge nice sex (top) … or else (bottom).

  • Blueb4sinrise

    The Compleat WIN!!

  • TootsStansbury

    I can't stop laughing at this.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is completely OT but man malia obama is just a knock out. she looked like a model last night.

    • MissTaken

      She looked like a very poised young lady. She was wearing flats unlike Michelle so I think she's even taller than her mom now.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        She's BEAUTIFUL, tho. I mean like totally fucking stunning beautiful.

        I think I now officially have a crush on the whole goddamn family.

        • njstore

          Yes. A thousand times yes.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Pathetic, innit? They've got some kinda charisma gene or something. Cynical, hard-headed, skeptical me who laughs at human foibles in all including myself. I get totally amorphously melty in their presence. Disgusting. (Gathers cells together) You'd think I was descended from an amoeba, or something.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        That's the first thing I thought when I saw her last night, "Oh man look at how tall she gotten". A beautiful and poised family.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Both of the Obama girls are going to become beautiful young women. And from what I hear in interviews with her parents they are whip sharp. Everything about that family leaves me in awe.

    • Geminisunmars

      It appeared to me that Sasha said something to her Pa, like "turn around and wave at the peeps behind us" and the whole family did. I don't know why I found that so endearing. Breathtaking beautiful family. I remember at his first inauguration all of the wonketteers were ooohhing and aahhhing over our new family.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I do kinda feel like they're "our family," ya know? Just like y'all are MY family.

        • HELisforHEL

          I totally love this statement. Yes, I'm still all happy-dappy , and only one Concanon in, so I'm just being a little mushy. All y'all and this site have been keeping me sane since forever.
          <HUGZ>

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (Hugs you right back all squeezy and friendly-like)
            (Beams)

            Pretty much.

        • njstore

          We are family
          Got all my family with me
          Get up everybody and dance

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I could do that. (gets up and dances)

      • BadKitty904

        Now, compare that to Dubya and the Joker's drunken spawn…

        • ChessieNefercat

          Or Queen Ann and her "you people" attitude.

          • BadKitty904

            "Queen Ann and her 'droid army – Tagg, Tart, Toot, et al."

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Bugg, Jugg, Rugg, Mugg, and Tugg.

    • Rotundo_

      With the genetic make up, and the parenting of these two kids, how could they be anything but beautiful and brilliant young ladies. We are going to see some great things from them. Not necessarily in the realm of politics, but somewhere, somehow, they will make the world a better place in their own ways.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "You laugh, but have you ever tried masturbating with a jeweler's screwdriver while your husband is saying 'Lie still and think of Nauvoo' over and over again? This is hard."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Not hard enough, apparently.

    • LibrarianX

      *snort*

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Condomist China

  • Mittaplasia

    Giant kielbasa vs. vienna sausage?

  • MinAgain

    Oh, Michelle. Brag, brag, brag.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Wouldja look at the grin on her face!

    • BadKitty904

      Personally, I'd be gloating.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    My p-ness got slightly bigger today!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You're going to need to find some larger skulls!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yay! YOU get a hug!

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        How do you hug anyone with your HUGE p-ness?

        • LIT_Fag

          From behind, with lube.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Just like Bamz. You know, gingerly. (Hugs the little wretch again)

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Well that deserves an upfist.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I heard heard that after Obama cums during sex he screams "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!!"

    • Negropolis

      Bwahahahahaha!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Obama may not have blown the lead, but you can bet Michelle blew something last night…

    • Anne_Athema

      Damn! Dick jokes rule here! Last I mentioned that Dr. Jill sez OHJ haz a nuclear weapon in his pants, big points. Now, dribs & drabs to the true death.

    • Negropolis

      And mess up he hair? I don't think so.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        What? She can't speak softly AND carry a big stick???

  • GregComlish

    The worst thing about having a black president is that the big penis/small penis jokes never stop. I hope, however vainly, that people stop stereotyping penis size on the basis of race. I hope they just drop the penis talk entirely. It's shallow, racist, poorly informed, and it reduces the value of a human being down to an arbitrary superficial measure.

    • Baconzgood

      This comment neaz moar butt secks jokes.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        I disagree. Needz moar BOOBBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Baconzgood

          BOOBBIE BUTT SEX? OMG!!!!!! This is something like the combustion engine! Engineer it and I can sell it! This is too important and we can change humanity more than Nicolaus Copernicus or Jesus! Work on it and I'll get the independent trucker's distribution system in place.

          • Blueb4sinrise

            I will make sure my virus software is up to date and do some research.

    • coolhandnuke

      Megs McCain's tits are so big you can hide ten years of tax returns in her cleavage.

    • TootsStansbury

      But, but, this is Wonkette! Dick jokes!

    • gullywompr

      Yes, it is a distraction from the important issues of the day, and demeans the office. But don't worry, someday we'll have another white president, and all the "big dick" jokes will stop.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Oh, OW!~

      • viennawoods13

        Not if that prez is Smilin' Joe!!

        • Blueb4sinrise

          I was expecting an editrix shoutout to The Big Fucking Deal…….maybe tomorrow.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Yah, Clinton….

    • http://www.wonkette.com Tangled sin tax

      Cleanup crew, aisle 4! Ernestness spill. Get it out of here before somebody trips in it!

      • emmelemm

        I believe it's called "tone trolling".

        • GregComlish

          I want to hear funny original things, not stale jokes that been rehashed millions of times.

          Why can't people invent new, original ways to attack Romney's penis? Maybe they could joke about how Romney's penis smells like Febreze on account of his Mormon wife's tidiness. Don't you think that would be a nice change of pace?

          • redarmyzombie

            I was unaware the Romneybott came with a sex toy function…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Or the wifebot, either.

          • redarmyzombie

            Ugh, discounting the fact that I'm gay, I couldn't even *imagine* slipping my manhood into that frigid icebox…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Perhaps that's why Mitt's shrank.

          • redarmyzombie

            This explains many things. Not all of them, granted, but a lot of them nonetheless.

            Maybe he wanted that war with Iran just to get out of his husbandly obligations to Ann, if you catch my drift…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            We'll never have to see their faces again, sweetie. We'll never have to listen to Ann saying "you people," as if she were speaking about leprosy. All the money in the world, all the lies and the shenanigans, couldn't buy them the Presidency. Today my faith in democracy is renewed. (Hugs you close)

          • redarmyzombie

            (hugs you back) I certainly hope so. Unfortunately, they do strike me as one of those recurring Doctor Who villains; you beat them, but they'll always be lurking somewhere…

            On the other hand, this *was* the best chance they've had, and I can't see them coming anywhere near it ever again. (Likewise, I loved that link you had of Limbaugh admitting he was irrelevant. Such sweet, sweet music…)

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            Just as long as they are the lame villains i.e. Sontarans

          • Negropolis

            I want to hear funny original things, not stale jokes that been rehashed millions of times.

            That's what she said/all of them, Katie/no one has lost any.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      If you're going to make that point without being mocked, you have to bring a shiv. Which is something I obviously know about, since I have a big, swinging dick.

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        [clutches pearls]

        [faints]

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          LOL.

      • UW8316154

        Indeed you do, Chet, it IS a mighty fine……oh…..heh….COWS!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Someone needs ExtenZe.

      • sullivanst

        Enzyte libel!

    • TootsStansbury

      Oh and the Capitalists and the Meeeeedia (I'm watching PBS) are already punishing us for having the audacity to re-elect the Prez. Let us at least enjoy 24 hours. Let us gather the dick jokes while we may because we're in for 'punishment'.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I fart in their general direction. (PAAAAARP!!)

      • gullywompr

        Indeed. There's a time to cast away dick jokes, and a time to gather dick jokes together. To everything, turn, turn, turn.

    • MinAgain

      In other words, you're telling us not to get cocky.

    • Negropolis

      You'll pry my snark about my huge, black penis from my warm, furious hands.

      Give me immature dick jokes on Wonkette or give me death! My campaign will not be dictated by snark-checkers!

  • Lot_49

    OT, but Larry Craig takes strong objection to Tammy Baldwin's claim to being the first openly gay senator, or at least wants an asterisk on it.

    [Kudos to Princess Sparklepony, who pointed this out first.]

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      And Lindsey's closet door has a lotta glass.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Tangled sin tax

      Tammy: "My only regret is that I have only one asterisk for my country!"

    • JohnnyQuick

      But if Chris Christie becomes a Senator, he'll challenge Larry's claim to have a natural "wide stance."

  • Mahousu

    In case anyone was wondering, the Chinese text is making the obvious joke: "The difference between Obama and Romney is …"

    • BadKitty904

      謝謝

    • Barrelhse

      Niu bi.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        WAH!

    • njstore

      Hén. 恨
      I somehow lost 19 p points from yesterday. You know what? Fuck you ID or who ever. Like I care. I know who is and what is important. You do not. MB I am flaming out here.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        What? No way. I keep upfisting you. It *should* work.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Once you go black…

  • rickmaci

    If you are talking about Mitt your headline would be "whine loudly and act like a big dick."

  • JohnnyQuick

    Slightly Off-Topic: Is Krysten Sinema the hottest Democrat ever? I clicked on a thank-you email from her and realized I must've not seen her picture before sending her dough.

    (Sidenote: Is it sexist for me to point this out? I pledge not to fap… kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk)

    • rickmaci

      Yikes !! Hope she can hang on to that lead. Would like to see more of her.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Why are our candidates so fucking ashamed to put the word "Democrat" anywhere on their websites????

      • JohnnyQuick

        Well, in her defense, she is in Arizona. Literally, in her defense. I mean her life is in danger.

        Fuck. Now I'm depressed.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Let's not go there, OK? Today is Gloat Day. Tomorrow we worry about other stuff.

          Pour yourself another, kick off the shoes.

    • Lot_49

      It's sexist if Dem does it. When McCain picked Palin it was purely because of her towering intellect and deep experience.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Hmmmm, I had previously vowed to never return to the Phoenis area………but……..
      Also, since I'm not in her district, I will fap for you.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Yowzah!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Alright, which one of you fuckers wrote Victoria Jackson's pros and cons list? Was it you, AngryBlakGuy?!

    • tessiee

      Victoria Jackson didn't write it, she only re-posted it.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I didn't think she had the limited amount of brains needed to write that.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Heh, "ramrod."

  • LibrarianX

    Egg has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

    • Barrelhse

      She removes the paper bags?

  • BadKitty904

    Last night's results and the concomitant ceremonies clearly illustrated the diff between having a big dick and being a big dick.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Question for Egg, is that before or after Mitt 'completes his mission'?

  • cybermoe

    That ad is a fluke!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You all are being unfair. Poor Egg. Clearly you need a condom with Romney, as otherwise you could get an electrical shock.

    • emmelemm

      That's why they call it a "rubber"?

      • mille derps

        Rubber? I wouldn't touch her with a 10' pollster…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i want more butthurt stories but i'm too lazy to look for them.

    you people have been a veritable fount of fun today. i even broke my own rules and posted a bunch on fb thereby alienating maybe .001% of my 'friends'.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, here's two lil' headlines from today for your delectation:

      "Californians Approve Massive Tax Hike on the Wealthy"

      "Texas Democrats End GOP House Supermajority"

      Last night seems to have been something of a national upchuck…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        CA now has a Democratic supermajority in the house, rendering the Republicans utterly powerless. We can now bypass those obstructionist smegmoids and get some useful shit done here. Thankyewjeefuckingbus.

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      goptears.tumblr.com

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Beeyootiful.

  • DahBoner

    Obama's Mother-in-Law says Obama's dick is soooooooooooo big, Michelle be down there every morning cooking it breakfast…

  • C_R_Eature

    I don't buy this ad at all. Mitt Romney would never use Chinese condoms because, according to CSPAN, he has a Huge Penis.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Hey, got a coupla tubes fer ya……There were two 60's pop bands in Europe named The Steampacket. One in England was a supergroup
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqftkSrC358&fe
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Steampacket

      The Swedish one……….not so much.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1jWUppJL1w&fe
      http://swedishbeat.wordpress.com/tag/steampacket/

      I ended up there because of Brian Augur……….he's still fusing.

      • C_R_Eature

        Oh man, thanks! Rod Stewart was just a baby!

        And that Swedish band (Tio i Topp hit!) reminded me of This! I can't help it.

        And now, a Palate Cleanser.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, CRE_ature, man! I listened to them all. (giggles like a kid, runs away)

      • C_R_Eature

        That last one I heard live, on the radio and I almost ran right off the road I was laughing so hard. It was a perfect set-up and I think of it fondly.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I need to improve my prankstering skills. That last one was PERFECT. Even though I knew it was coming, it still hit me.

          • C_R_Eature

            Whoever that was,they planned and executed it perfectly. I was totally sandbagged, along with everyone else.

  • rocktonsam

    so China does have us by the balls

  • HELisforHEL

    BTW, Michelle looks so lovely here. Our FLOTUS is seriously elegant.

  • BlueStateLibel

    OT: but if you have a few minutes, this series of election night photos from The Atlantic is fantastic. Many are very moving, but I especially loved the Repub frat boys looking like daddy just took their allowance away: http://tinyurl.com/afexnfx

    • JohnnyQuick

      The one with empty chairs containing invisible Veterans for Romney was nice.

    • emmelemm

      Now that is some sweet, tasty, delicious Schadenfreude.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Good stuff.

    • BadKitty904

      That's very interesting. I was especially struck by a.) the youth of Obama's supporters, and b.) their multiculturalness.

      • finallyhappy

        watching the speech- twice -so i got different views- the audience was diverse in many ways-old people- we supported Obama too!

        • BadKitty904

          Oh, absoLUTEly *no* sort of doubt about that at all whatsoever! :0)

          I actually meant "in comparison to the Rmoney supporters shown"…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Just got home from the local watering hole, where I went to gloat and do a victory lap and rub all my RW buddies noses in it. Man are they bummed out. I can't wait to tell my real estate racist guy who called it Landslide for Romney that at least he got the landslide part right.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OK, so I finally figured out how to look at comments on Wonkette on my BBerry today (take it out of mobile mode and click on "original" at bottom of page). The comments section shows up in that "old fashioned" format where a lot of avatars are squiggly monsters, the post times are shown as actual times rather than "5 minutes ago", you can't upfist anybody, and you have to enter your boardname and email address each time you want to make a comment. I struggled through the process several times (big fingers and tiny tiny keyboard), and the comments eventually showed up, but now when I get home not a single one of them show up on my intense debate page. what the fuck is up with that?

    • Geminisunmars

      I found on my iPad that if I try to respond to responses that show up in my email, that they go off to the ether.

    • ttommyunger

      I have yet to be able to post a comment from my iphone 4S. Prolly just me, being dumb and all….

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        What are those comments of yours that end with "from the field, not the garrison" then? I assumed they came from your mobile.

        • ttommyunger

          I replaced the standard “sent from my iphone” with that signature to indicate that I am not sitting on my ass at the 'puter, but out and about. Silly, I know, but that's just me.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            It's like you're giving the NSA an assist, man.

          • ttommyunger

            Happily, I don't give a fuck. Don't want or need a job, got free healthcare for life (VA Disabled). Have a small but adequate income I can't outlive, no debt. My secrets are hardly something to guard carefully since I freely admit to being a Gold Plated Asshole to friends, family and strangers alike. I am the most independent sonufabitch on the Planet. Plus, they need all the help they can get: most days they couldn't find a bale of hay in a telephone booth.

  • winnyfranfran

    Egg Romney! Hey, when is Arrested Development coming back on?

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Aaaand I finally get the Egg joke. Derp!

  • James Michael Curley

    For the first time since 10/28 we got electricity! I feel like the time gramps first got toliet paper for the two holer.

    • BadKitty904

      Congrats! The joys of recharging your phone at *home*! :0)

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Hey! So glad you're OK.

      • njstore

        MB. I am flaming out here. But really glad JMC is back. But we have not heard from TriBeCa Mike yet. Anyone?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Now that you mention it, I haven't seen nor heard hide nor hair. (Hugs you)

          I just remembered that ID gives you pee and then reduces it quite abruptly and then slowly lets you build it back up. Fuck pee, anywho. Some of the nicest people at Wonketz have not much pee at all.

          • njstore

            You are a sweetie. Hugs back.
            Mr NJ store is the nicest person, next to you, and he loved Dale too and is holding me tight. Pet the kitties for me.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I plan to torment them by offering them some ice cream while we're watching a movie. The greedy little bastids just *love* the stuff until it hits their cold sensors. Then they do that "I rly hate you human" thing while shaking their little heads.

            Mean, huh? You tell Mr. NJStore to give you extra hugs and rock you gently till you feel better. And give him a hug for me too. Take care, sweetie.

          • FeloniousMonk

            And size doesn't matter. (Sorry, but I suffer from p-ness envy.)

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            See? You don't have much pee, and you're one of the nicest people here. (Hugs you) Don't. Suffer, that is. Before you know it, you'll have way too much p-ness and be advising new young Wonketteerz about how bad it was in the old days.

            Also, too, I haz roof-rats. Or perhaps only one roof-rat. This is new for me. In the 30-some years I've lived here, this house has always sported sufficient felines to keep enterprising rodent life far away. All the p-ness in the world doesn't make up for fucking roof rats, lemme tellya.

          • FeloniousMonk

            Aww. (Turns away and furiously rearranges things on desk to hide blushes.) Have you tried voting the rats out? Seems to have worked recently.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            We're trying to vote them out with bad rap music played on a very cheap transistor radio, on the theory that, as a native species, they're shy and retiring, unlike their Rattus norwegicus cousins. Personally, I'm beginning to doubt this theory. Fuckers don't seem too shy to set up a godawful racket at 3 am and what do you suppose they're doing then, nothing that can see the light of day, that's what. Fucking, like as not. Fuckers.

            We'll see if the experiment works tomorrow morning as we reel, red-eyed, from our bed. (We don't expect to get any sleep with that music blaring, you see.)

  • ttommyunger

    Ha, ha. Guys, if you've ever had a woman tell you size doesn't matter; you have a really small dick. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    • redarmyzombie

      And if they tell you it's not the size, it's how you use it, you *may* want to do a little self-reflection there…

      • ttommyunger

        Or how about, your dick is just the right size, for my mouth. Or, the nice thing about your dick is that it will fit anywhere. I admit nothing!

    • tessiee

      Honestly?
      Size *doesn't* matter.
      OK, if it's smaller than a glue stick, or bigger than a soda can — then yes, that's most likely problematic.
      But 99% of the time, size doesn't matter. My gyn says the average ladypart is about 6 inches, 7 tops, so more than that is wasted.

      • ttommyunger

        I didn't say it doesn't, I was only making reference to those that heard that comment in real time. I promise you I am not making personal references. I am only average, at best, in most areas.

    • gullywompr

      Wait…. Is that something women say?

      • ttommyunger

        I hear it all the time!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    If you haven't seen the Dependable Renegade version of the concession photo….
    http://www.dependablerenegade.com/dependable_rene

    • bobbert

      Ah hahahaha

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      That is fucking BRILLIANT!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    TOTALLY OT but YES, the JOY of schadenfreude. Enjoy the sight of a grovelling Rush Limbaugh doing a double face-palm: http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/11/07/rush-limbau

    • redarmyzombie

      Oh, ohhhh, that feels goooooooood…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I had teh organism.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      They should have shut the thread down after the very first comment.

      Tweet from Alec Baldwin :
      You know your party is in trouble when people ask, "did the rape guy win", and you have to ask, "which one?"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I've been gone all day, so if this has already been posted, my apologies for the redundancy.

    Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016

    15 second ad at front, sorry bout that.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      See, if THAT thing had been running …

    • James Michael Curley

      I thought you were talking about Chris Crisco. As I worked on Sandy recovery came across some of the more strident Republican ops in the local area. One was livid that Christie would compliment Obama during their joint appearances in NJ. Meanwhile one of my elected Democratic officials said he was privy to the process and Christie's staff was begging to be taken along. Then, as the radio reports detailed, Obama was quite conciliatory and implied 'of course we would let Governor Giant Flotation Device attend with us.'

      In summary, FEMA's response, the Department of Homeland Security and other Federal Agencies were very good at providing ice, water, MRE's and helping out with properly securing shelters and warming stations. It may have taken a few days to get stuff to the local level, but it was far better than Katrina where there were trucks of ice and water driving around endlessly because the 'direction for need' matrix was so bad.

      Near me we have a seven block area which will be condemned by FEMA containing 8 to 10 homes per block.

      The Boardwalk on many NJ beaches (including mine) is destroyed). I couldn't get near the Stone Pony but I understand it took damage. When electricity is fully restored (we're supposed to take it easy, no high amp luxury devices) I plan to erase "4TH OF JULY, ASBURY PARK (SANDY)" from all my devices.

      "Sandy, the angels have lost their desire for us,
      I spoke to 'em just last night and they said they won't set themselves on fire for us anymore …"

  • tessiee

    Egg reminds me of what my Dad said about my former mother in law: "When she smiles, she looks like it hurts".

    • BadKitty904

      "Your smile is like a crack in the walls of Hell. One can smell the brimstone, and hear the cries of the damned in your smile."

      ~ Tom Ballard

  • tessiee
  • DahBoner

    "SPEAK SOFTLY CARRY A BIG STICK "

    My dick is so long, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow night.

  • Anne_Athema

    Herp Derp!! There is a huge god-damn difference in genuine vs. non-genuine smiles, so I GUARANTEE that Michelle is the rill gard-dang thang. Somadahumadah!!!!!

  • Negropolis

    Poor Mitt. We sent him back home so that he can spend more time with his money…err…honey.

  • ElPinche

    I'll take the Michelle Oh Oh ribbed, XL sized. Well, I pull it over my scrotum for extra protection.

  • IonaTrailer

    Ahhhhhhh – the schaden is freudening nicely.

    And btw, Obama's dick is so big, NASA has to launch a space shuttle just to measure it.

  • AKHottie

    Again I arrive too late for meaningful comment. So I guess big dick comments have already been made? Including NASA comments? And Biden big stick comments? Sux to be me.

  • BadKitty904

    Here's a delightful way to start your day:

    "Many of the lightning bolts were aimed at none other than Karl Rove, the former Bush administration political genius who oversaw the deployment of nearly $400 million in campaign spending through outside groups American Crossroads and Crossroads GPS toward the presidential race and toward numerous Senate and House races.

    "The billionaire donors I hear are livid," one Republican operative told The Huffington Post. "There is some holy hell to pay. Karl Rove has a lot of explaining to do … I don't know how you tell your donors that we spent $390 million and got nothing."

    Rove even suffered the indignity of being insulted on Twitter by the blustery Donald Trump, who had attended Romney's election night party here on Tuesday night, but left early after it was clear that Obama had won a second term.

    "Congrats to @KarlRove on blowing $400 million this cycle. Every race @CrossroadsGPS ran ads in, the Republicans lost. What a waste of money," Trump tweeted, inaccurately."

    The full story on Repug breast-beating and infighting at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/07/republic

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Delicious! Better than a Jimmy Dean sammich, Mr. Sun!

      • Misty Malarky

        Poor Turd Blossom may soon be holding up a Brown's goal post with his arse. :(

    • Negropolis

      That must hurt more coming from someone who is an even bigger loser than Rove. lol

  • Botlrokit

    K&P's Obama/Luther: "Though, to be fair, you can chip a tooth on that bootie."

  • tessiee

    OPEN CONDOM STYLE!!

  • owhatever

    Bye, Egg. I'll miss you. Now you can concentrate on which mansion to live in this month and ride peacefully into the sunset on that loser of yours. I mean Rafalca, not your husband.