We knew Ohio state Treasurer Josh Mandel was a TREASURE in his own right smack in the middle of his first debate with blowsy Ohio rambler Sherrod Brown. He was GRANDLY ORATING some total nonsense, and then he said this incredibly dumb thing about loving women because he totally has a wife and mom so the fact that he is terrible on every single women’s issue ever is like totally irrelevant. (Fucking AMAZING CLIP THAT YOU MUST WATCH not embeddable, fucking SPAN!) But has he done anything else to deserve a coveted slot in the Wonkette Pantheon of Fallen Heroes?
Not really! He is mostly just a horribly annoying talking-point pipsqueak who is annoying and thunders his talking points over and over again and is a pipsqueak. BUT! There was also this grand doozy from his second debate with Brown, in answer to the question, “How would you be bipartisan, because I, the questioner, am a total hack?” We have copy-and-pasted it for you, in all its tardedness!
Mandel: FIRST, I would find common ground with the other side by stopping foreign aid to countries that harbor terrorists, even though Senator Brown and I don’t agree, but I heard there was like one Democrat out there that I could work with on it or something. Sherrod Brown voted to give a billion dollars to Pakistan, before Pakistan fucked us on Bin Laden. He also gives billions of dollars to Libya, where the government murdered our ambassador. Egypt is a terrorist and Muslim Brotherhood and they persecute Christians, and all through the Middle East women are treated like shit. So Brown probably did that too. “In a vacuum, this would be wrong. But we also have a $16 trillion debt.” Sherrod Brown hates America, QED. “And I will work across party lines with Democrats to keep your tax dollars from going to countries that harbor terrorists.” SECOND. Energy exploration. I would be bipartisan with Joe Manchin of West Virginia on burning more coal. Sherrod Brown wants Eastern Ohio miners to starve.
We salute you, mysteriously unfragged defeated Ohio Senate candidate Josh Mandel. Thank you for your service.
{ 245 comments }
I bet the Scouts still give him his Election Merit badge for participating, though.
I first read that as his "Erection Merit badge."
/ walks over and puts himself in time-out in the corner
In this particular case, I don't think a time-out will be necessary.
Don't be so hard on yourself
You can rise above this.
Elevate the uhh, discourse.
I bet they give him a giant wedgie instead.
Here.
Everybody gets a trophy, kid.
Yeah, the Cub Scouts.
Josh can always go back to the AV squad.
Or mow lawns 'round the neighborhood.
Or the Mickey Mouse club.
Sadly enough, isn't he still the Ohio state treasurer?
And the Cleveland Indians can hire one less peanut vendor next summer.
Didn't he invent facebook or something?
I will miss Screech.
Liar. (hugs actor fondly)
*sniff*
Thanks, I was getting all weepy-stabby…
(Pats actor's back) There, there. You won't have to hear about her ever again. Any minute now, they'll bring the shepherd's crook out and drag her off the stage.
Future Rent Boy website model
He has a future in the Dominican Republic with Rush.
fixxored
Found it!
Submissive preppy bottom, specializes in spanking, light BDSM and Libertarian fiscal policy. No fats, fems or weirdos. Serious inquiries only.
Seriously! I can't help imagining him in a studded dog collar and harness. The chaps are, of course, ass-less.
Of course, I do this visualization with all republicans. I'm sure a few popped into your minds, too!
Josh, please hold this copy of the cap-and-trade bill while Sen. Manchin re-loads.
Manchin took Viagra before they went into the woods, I think.
SOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEE!!
Hi Z! Glorious day, isn't it?
Girl. I am so happy. So, so, happy. And so is my entire fucking household, who have been listening to me scream and rant and throw stuff for months now. Wife just said she wanted something big and shiny. I offered my knee. She's still grossed out. :D
Now Josh has time to study for his Bar Mitzvah.
Only Bar he can hope to pass.
Ah this is the day that just keeps on giving.
Silly Republican, wearing a yellow tie and a charcoal suit and white shirt? Everyone knows, red tie for Republicans, blue tie for office holders. Democrats wear the zany colours.
I think Al Capone liked yellow ties.
How could anyone say "no" to a face like that?
I certainly could.
"No."
And no means no!
I suspect the vast majority of women already have.
Repeatedly.
And some men too.
And with votes.
How could one not punch a face like that repeatedly, with votes?
A whole bunch of his in-laws certainly did.
I'm still LMFAO over that. They *really* don't like him in that family.
with my fists. repeatedly.
Did Mitt cut this kids hair?
So many taken too soon…
This kid has a bright future filled with restraining orders.
I was just thinking of that with the comment above referring to women saying no to him. Yes indeedy.
Wow he looks like a child. Lying to yourself about your sexuality must be good for your skin.
I keep reading "Ohio state Treasurer Josh Mandel" but thinking "Senior class Treasurer Josh Mandel".
Funny, I read "amateur ventiloquist Josh Mandell."
You should all be ashamed!! I, for one, have taken the pledge that there will be NO BULLYING in the seventh grade this year. IT STOPS HERE!!
P.S. How was the editrix allowed to use his name, ain't that protected under some kiddy law?
Missed Opportunity! This is the photo you should have used for Josh Mandel:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:TwinkieTheKid.j…
What can Brown do for you? Defeat an annoying little pipsqueak and remain one of most progressive voices in the Senate.
To be fair, he also caused Rove's PAC and the Koch boys to waste about $200 million bucks. I could love him for that alone.
I wonder wut's become of Karl Rove? Anybody seen him lately?
He went nuts on Fox last night after they called Ohio.
I watched it over and over.
Just dropping by to share some glorious Schadenfreude. I love internet wingnut meltdowns:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLoqti0lzAw&li…
Also, the Freepers are in hysterics. Here are their insights on gender difference and the elections…
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2956404/…
…and on Allen West's loss…
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2956195/…
…and on hiring libtards just so they can fire them…
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2956168/…
…and on how All Hope is Now Lost…
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2956341/…
Oh my, some of the Freeper commenters are arguing against womens' suffrage, in fucking 2012, because "Like college kids, women are emotional voters and thinkers; as a result, they are unable to make wise decisions for the benefit of the nation". And of course others are calling any women who use birth control "sluts". Fucking ass deserves to get his balls ripped off.
BUT DAMMIT THE QUEERS ARE GONNA DESTROY MAH MARRIAGE AND THE KENYAN MUSLIN IS COMING FOR MAH GUNZ!!!!!!!!
Now *that's* the way a MAN does it. Sensible and logical to the last. You listening, sluts?
Wow. Just – wow.
God, they are incoherent (even more so than normal)!
Heh. I love how that last post begins with "I am 60 years old and I have given up" and the first comment is "you're still young!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
"you're still young…and have great mobility now that you got your Rascal Scooter" Subsidized by the government, of course.
To this 75+ voter, that cretin is young. But it is also great to know that he will no longer be voting. One less stupid-ass wingnut to cast a vote for another stupid-ass wingnut. Keep up the good work!
If I have time. It takes 5 minutes for FR's pages to render on my Mac Pro. They must be running that piece of shit on an RM Nimbus PC.
"All Hope is Now Lost " post deserves a Richard Marx ballad soundtrack.
Hey, when did you switch to Trejo avatar? Me like.
It was the avatar I used right after Obama 2008 election. I brought it back.
Like college kids, women are emotional voters and thinkers; as a result, they are unable to make wise decisions for the benefit of the nation(Yes, there are exceptions). The Founding Fathers knew this, and that’s why women were denied the vote until the 1920s and children weren’t allowed to vote until the 1970s.
Holy. Crap.
EDIT: shoulda looked upstream before posting.
No, no, we can't hear it enough times. I want to show it to wifey. The resulting explosion should level half the trees in our neighbourhood. (Beams)
Boo frickin hoo
This comment is from a guy who hates early voting:
"Early voting for weeks and allowing dems to accrue a millions more in voters is not a good thing either."
At least the r33tard's honest.
WTF?
What does he think, we grow 'em in Petri dishes or something????
Yes.
Jesus fucking Christ. These people. Please, emigrate.
To Alaska. Get rid of the native peoples. Form new country. Lots of huntin n fishin.
Too late, they're already here. Came with the pipeline. Alaska is now Arkansas North.
You forgot the 'skeeters. Nothing like a sky darkened by flying bloodsuckers..
I’m a women and everytime I look at him I want to puke.
Is this person related to Ralph Wiggum?
"I saw some stats yesterday that said over 50% of adult women are now unmarried.
Add that figure to the booming population of illegals and other minorities and you get a super-majority of takers that vote for a living."
Nice! Single + Woman = Moocher
If you liked it you shoulda put a SNAP card on it.
I'm loving this! Their *resolution* of this problem involves Wifin' 'em Up! How you gonna wife up a woman wut runs screaming from the sight of you? Answer: RAPE BABBIES! OMG. Now the strategy becomes clear!
Sherri Tepper couldn't have written a better plot.
that youtube lady… just…wow… (she sounds like)
to be fair though, romney WOULD have won if more people had shared her youtube videos.
I admire everyone's bravery for visiting those sites. I, for one, ain't gonna do it.
Just for you, I ventured there…
From the sane, mature thread about West loooooo-osing:
(some of these have to be snark… um, right?)
Don't count on it. The part about making Allen West the Speaker of the House after he LOST his seat is sheer mescalin-fueled nutbaggitude. Ah, poetry! (kisses fingertips)
Sweet, sweet teabagger tears.
I'm in no mood to put up with their consciously ignorant bullshit. Sane adults can consider other people's behaviors, and morality, and metaphysics – and accept the possibility that they may be wrong, on occasion. These nuts have inoculated themselves from any source of information that could be objective. Just as with the homophobes, this neurosis reveals more about their inability to function in the new millenium than anything else – and if they want to participate in governing, they'd better do some soul-searching about what "consensus" and "mediation" really mean.
No more coddling. They've hurt too many people for too long. If they can't accept the dissenting voices in the USA as we are, I'm very tempted to buy 'www.VotingIsASin.com' and devote some time over the next two years to scaring them away from the polls.
Oh, I love it. Go on, do it! Let's invent a religion and get rich fleecing these dopes. They deserve everything they've brought upon themselves.
Wait. I can't be a cockroach for a billion lifetimes. OK, bag that idea.
Just went through the Abandon All Hope comments. That is one hearty stew of biblical end times, blantant racism, impending economic collapse, and Sharia-communist-police-state-survivalism. Desperation is a stinky cologne.
These ppl are just BEGGING for a public mocking. Jesus. The combination of flopsweat, cum-encrusted sweatsocks, cheetos, bitter gun-'n-bible-clinging and sheer fuckwaddish misogyny is hard to take at times. Thank you for your service in unearthing these encrusted nuggets.
Give this kid some crayons so he will stop whining.
Remind me to buy him a tie for his bar mitzvah, which should be coming up in a couple of years.
That mom of his probably tucked him in after the campaign closed shop last night, telling him that he would do better next time and that he should get some rest, for tomorrow is a new day.
His wife probably got drunk and passed out in a bed full of sailors.
I bet his footie pajamas were really soft.
So basically, an ordinary Tuesday night.
Or her cousins grabbed her and did an intervention.
another one bites the dust … thanks for the trips down memory lane, but i think i may have overgloated now.
You have to gloat through the burn, that is how you get better.
Just have a hair of the goat that bit ya.
Start getting ready for 2014- plenty of gloat chow
Tomorrow, we start.
Today, we GLOAT!!
I'd hit it.
With a Louisville Slugger?
That's no way to treat your twink.
Sandusky, is that you?
Wut with?
Such a nice boy.
Go back to Lost Forest, Rusty — Mark and Cherry miss you.
Sad Mittens and Obama winning,
Senate's finally in the spotlight.
This November I heard the counting,
Mandel lost in Oh Hio!
For a moment I thought that picture was of a new Wonkette intern, like Riley Waggaman all dressed up.
All those billionaires who spent all that money on the SuperPACs sure look like idiots now…
Think they learned anything?
Let's hope not!
Very unlikely. Assholes.
I learned that I should be a yes man. Tell old rich white dudes what they want to hear for an enormous paycheck.
Yeah, think of all the hospital wings they could have bought…
What a waste!
Anybody hear what happened to Karl Rove? He seems to have gone awful quiet since his meltdown.
Rove is quietly leaving the country………….
Optimist.
Not till after Shelly Adelson and the Koch Bros. find out how he frittered away their money, honey. He blew $300MIL and lost every single seat he bet on. You can bet your ass the money people are not happy with him this morning. They like a ROI.
He looks very eager to please, which is something I value highly in a man.
If only he were one!
Let me just go remove his ears and tail. You won them with this comment.
Oh that kid lost?
Not even AIPAC is gonna return Josh's calls.
"Schadenfreude? Why, yes, I'm soaking in it"
(hands fw a glass of champagne) Drink, madam?
He has a face made for pissing on
Wouldn't surprise me…
That costs extra.
So I hear.
Read it in a book, honest!
Hey, there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiny
I tell all the girls they can kiss my hiny …
Baconz new jerb is effecting his snark time. It givez me the sadz that I lozed a p-point.
I find this difficult to masterbate to too also.
Your p-ness does look a bit short.
We
lovefunk you no matter what the p-score says, Bacnz.I just changed my AVATAR because of you Mumble!!!
AWSOME TACULAR!
Miss your pork-flavored snark!
How did you lose a point? My p-points have been frozen at the same number since they took away the down-fisty thingy. I assumed the feature was turned off.
if you don't post early and post often the p-ness deflates I'm told.
Use it or lose it?
Baconzgood!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mention Elizabeth Warren and your p-ness will grow.
Masterbation ensues!
Win/Win!!!!!!!!
BRB.
We miss your snark.
Once, when the world was good and IntenseDebate was young and supple, it gived us pee very freely. Then, the evil Ken Layne and ID Gods stole over HALF OF OUR PEE. Ken blamed Jesus, but we know he used our pee for his desert rituals. Then, the pee flowed from an old man's prostate. I, too, getz tha sadz thinkin bout my lost pees… they were almost enough to buy me a pint of teh black and tan!
There. I upfisted you and will keep upfisting you until you haz more pee.
When your arm gets tired, you can borrow my avata-HooHoo!
Woo-woo, dude or dudine. Who didja used to be when you had huge pee?
I just upfisted you. HTH.
Try harder.
Miss you, Bacon. Here's something I've been saving for when you came back to celebrate with us:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/20/funny-ki…
I would not hit that.
OK, maybe with my pocketbook, in the back of its weasly little head.
Or with my Chevy. With a bumper full of votes.
So many fallen heroes! Good bye, GOP! It's been real.
Oi, such a putz.
Azoi, a shandeh fahr die goyim.
Mebbe he can try again after his pubes all come in.
My Dad used to say that! Whenever we argued with him, he'd say, "Come back and tell me what you think after your ass grows one or two hairs."
Dad?
His fellow Founders recalled him to the Great Link, and once he was reabsorbed into the group consciousness he overcame his rage and disappointment at being unable to infiltrate this particular group of "solids".
DELTA QUADRANT LIBEL!
*aHEM* The Founders are from the GAMMA Quadrant, actually. /nerd
Fucking Voyager….confused me
Yeah, the Delta Quadrant is where Voyager was lost, and thus can be ignored without losing anything important.
Except 7 of 9, if you're into boobs and catsuits.
No one has lost any
Very mysterious, his unfragging.
"to date"
(Hugs the BadKitty, rubs its furry belly) You are SO sweet! Thanks for giving me hope.
My home state (Ohio) and my home county (Cuyahoga) did some good stuff last night. Grounding little Joshy was one of them.
Srsly, I've been in such a lather about OH. I am SO FUCKING HAPPY that y'all pulled through for the best Senator and best President!
Well let's see, Rmoney, and Mandel, and Joe the Plumber, and Chris Long. Yep that's ♪ four dead in Ohio.♪
Happy, happy, joy, joy.
With votes, that is.
So incredible this little twerp got so much of the vote last night.
Did Sherrod Brown participate in a widely televised puppy murdering orgy last week or something?
I can't believe you missed it!
Gotta go make lunch, BRB. :)
Make me a sammich while you're up?
I roasted some chicken after butter-browning it, with fingerling potatoes, carrots, caramelized onions, lemon juice, thyme and rosemary from my garden. The whole house smells like heaven. It's been a while since I had either the incentive or the energy to stand up long enough to do something useful. I feel like I just came back to life.
This whole fucking STATE is celebrating, with much cheering in the streets and people playing music loud at night and other people not even reporting them to the po-pos. Here's some nice buttery roast-chicken breast on whole wheat.
Oh, that sounds so good. I simply must find myself a spouse who can cook (or pay for fancy dinners). What's for desert?
Semifreddi's dark-chocolate-dipped almond biscotti. :)
It's good to live in the midst of such culinary plenty. :)
Hurry!
(Hugs you) Such a chweetie!
Lindsey Graham has a sad now. He had high hopes for Josh's 12 yr old hairless tea bags.
I love you, but you really know how to make a fella puke.
I watch alot of porn so I'm conditioned to certain scenarios.
This kid has altar boy potential!
So young. So brainwashed and dickish. The cult is strong in this one.
What would he look like as a mannequin?
See photo above.
Kim Cattrall?
VO: "The Committee to Elect Josh Mandel is responsible for the content of this advertising."
Josh: "AN' I HELPED!!"
Say, so long as we're on the fallout…and I happen to notice the DVD is being released next week…whatever happened with that asshat down in Florida who couldn't finish building his 90,000 square foot mansion but can afford to close his business and retire? He get his plane yet?
Silly. They take TRAINS to Galt's Gulch.
Gonna be a wet train ride, Boca to the Bahamas…
You mean this 'un? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/06/ceos-oba…
I just don't get that guy. Whining and complaining about how he spent his youth working himself to death so that he could build…the ugliest most pointless thing you ever saw. He's sort of like the tacky version of the Great Gatsby.
WHEN WILL THESE BRAVE ANTIGOVT PATRIOTS GET THEIR MEMORIAL, OBUMMER?
Shortly after the drone hits, I should think.
Tangent: Why does anybody bother with "political debates?"
Schmuck!
Also, I feel really bad for those of you who have "Mitt" or "Romney" as part of your handle here. Now we have to go thru all those reintroductions:
"Yea, my name is Shad N Freude, but you used to know me as Mittborgenstern"
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTTHEFUCKUP!!!
(melts down like Karl Rove)
There, there, PaulBorg (DonaldBorg, HermBorg, CrazyeyesBorg, HarpyBorg, RandBorg, RickyBorg, ah, hell, just rotate through them like the country will have to do starting in about 3.5 weeks). It'll be okay!
Honest, I'll get around to changing my name and av. I'm DONE wiv Mitt. YES!
Hiya dearie! It's been awhile. Hope you've feeling fine & dandy lately!
Elton John needs to write a teary song about the fallen heroes and Mitt-bott set to the lyrics of "Candle in the Wind" right about now.
"Koch Cock Up the Butt"?
I have to admit, I knew that Republicans were really serious about expressing their pro-life bonafides this cycle, but I was still surprised that they went as far as to run an actual fetus against Sherrod Brown.
power bottom
….though, I suspect, a poor one…
joe walsh is getting his ass smacked again on local radio by pundits ("you had a rough night last night so i'm not going to point out that everything you just said is untrue").
apparently he's considering running for governor or (more likely) IL republican party chair.
as we flipped four seats from red to blue last night, i'm all for it.
That's what I want to see. The ILGOP flips even further right than Brady in the next election. Maybe he can get Jason Plummer to be his running mate.
I wanna hear Congresswoman Duckworth tell him, "That's Captain Duckworth to you, maggot!"
Cuz that boy has some real problems with Ovarian-Americans. So I think it would be nice to kick him in the groin when he's down.
Somewhat OT and not at all snarky (well, not completely snarky):
Exactly what country are all my old high school Facebook pals planning on moving to now that the ol' Socialist Atheist Muslim debbil man done cheated his way into another term?
Some are threatening to move to Canada, which is very funny – unless you happen to be Canadian, I guess.
I hear Venezuela or Somalia might suit them…
God, no, please. We have enough rednecks around us already, and we're a quick boat trip from Ohio.
Sherrod Brown 1: Metric assload of out-of-state money 0
Josh Mandel claims that he is a member of the Jewish faith, yet his views on abortion are totally contrary to Judaism. In the Talmud, an embryo is not a viable person, but is a being of doubtful viability. All Orthodox Jewish believe that abortion is not only acceptable but mandatory to save a woman's life. Other streams of Judaism have an even more liberal view on this issue.
Even Muslim mullahs who can have somewhat atavistic notions about women do not hold that a woman must bear her rapist's child. Nor does Islam forbid abortion.
Neither did Christianity until all the American fundies took a political clue from the Pope.
"See, guys, you can use this simple little angle to keep half the population in its place…"
Yes, now they're working behind NGO fronts to join together internationally and vote on women's rights and blasphemy laws at the UN.
Thanks for pointing that out.
Hey Josh, there's always twink-daddy porn.
Isn't there an age requirement for Senate? This isn't student council!
McLovin is just a little too young for my tastes.
All in all, that's probably a good thing.
Josh Mandel's momentum trying to go from Dog Catcher to President of the Free World within six months has stalled. Sorry, buddy! Maybe you could run for Police Chief or something next!
A punim you should only piss on.
I hope he can get by on his allowance.
If this dipshit was in Animal House he would totally be an Omega.
he seems like a good kid. just got in with the wrong crowd.
Wait, wait, wait…slow down…he is married to a WOMAN?!?!
There's always another election on the horizon, Josh; buck-up, but wait until your testes descend, just for shits and giggles.
You know, when you have a legitimate election, it has tendancy to shut the whole thing down.
Wow!…. a Zionist zealot saying he would cut off aid to Muslim countries who won't kiss Israel's or this country's ass….is that crazy or what? I'm shocked.
Hey Josh, any thoughts on Israel stealing land from Palestinians or denying them food, medicine, building materials? Just asking.
Did anyone tell him he wasn't running for his high school student council?
One more thing we Ohioans have to do is get him out of the treasurer's office.
Shouldn't be hard. He's almost never there anyway.
Hey, gorgeous! (Grabs your ass shamelessly) How do?
I feel GREAT! FUCKING GREAT! Don't you?
I went by GoinGreen, but it didn't transfer, so I was then "still"born.
Well, that certainly deserved teh upfist.
Tribasim is always worthy of research.
Hey, the Ryan kerfluffle gave us a Barry.
The only "tribasim" I can find on Teh Googlez is a pron site. :(
I got enough porn in my life right now, dood. :)
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