pantheon of fallen heroes

Wonkette Salutes Fallen Hero And Pep Club President, Ohio Son Josh Mandel

Annoying SmurfWe knew Ohio state Treasurer Josh Mandel was a TREASURE in his own right smack in the middle of his first debate with blowsy Ohio rambler Sherrod Brown. He was GRANDLY ORATING some total nonsense, and then he said this incredibly dumb thing about loving women because he totally has a wife and mom so the fact that he is terrible on every single women’s issue ever is like totally irrelevant. (Fucking AMAZING CLIP THAT YOU MUST WATCH not embeddable, fucking SPAN!) But has he done anything else to deserve a coveted slot in the Wonkette Pantheon of Fallen Heroes?

Not really! He is mostly just a horribly annoying talking-point pipsqueak who is annoying and thunders his talking points over and over again and is a pipsqueak. BUT! There was also this grand doozy from his second debate with Brown, in answer to the question, “How would you be bipartisan, because I, the questioner, am a total hack?” We have copy-and-pasted it for you, in all its tardedness!

Mandel: FIRST, I would find common ground with the other side by stopping foreign aid to countries that harbor terrorists, even though Senator Brown and I don’t agree, but I heard there was like one Democrat out there that I could work with on it or something. Sherrod Brown voted to give a billion dollars to Pakistan, before Pakistan fucked us on Bin Laden. He also gives billions of dollars to Libya, where the government murdered our ambassador. Egypt is a terrorist and Muslim Brotherhood and they persecute Christians, and all through the Middle East women are treated like shit. So Brown probably did that too. “In a vacuum, this would be wrong. But we also have a $16 trillion debt.” Sherrod Brown hates America, QED. “And I will work across party lines with Democrats to keep your tax dollars from going to countries that harbor terrorists.” SECOND. Energy exploration. I would be bipartisan with Joe Manchin of West Virginia on burning more coal. Sherrod Brown wants Eastern Ohio miners to starve.

We salute you, mysteriously unfragged defeated Ohio Senate candidate Josh Mandel. Thank you for your service.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I bet the Scouts still give him his Election Merit badge for participating, though.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      I first read that as his "Erection Merit badge."

      / walks over and puts himself in time-out in the corner

      • BadKitty904

        In this particular case, I don't think a time-out will be necessary.

      • MissTaken

        Don't be so hard on yourself

        • bikerlaureate

          You can rise above this.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Elevate the uhh, discourse.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I bet they give him a giant wedgie instead.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Here.

      Everybody gets a trophy, kid.

    • Nowisallthereis

      Yeah, the Cub Scouts.

  • nounverb911

    Josh can always go back to the AV squad.

    • BadKitty904

      Or mow lawns 'round the neighborhood.

    • jodyleek

      Or the Mickey Mouse club.

    • Terry

      Sadly enough, isn't he still the Ohio state treasurer?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      And the Cleveland Indians can hire one less peanut vendor next summer.

  • Estproph

    Didn't he invent facebook or something?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I will miss Screech.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Liar. (hugs actor fondly)

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        *sniff*

        Thanks, I was getting all weepy-stabby…

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          (Pats actor's back) There, there. You won't have to hear about her ever again. Any minute now, they'll bring the shepherd's crook out and drag her off the stage.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Future Rent Boy website model

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      He has a future in the Dominican Republic with Rush.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Future Rent Boy website model

      fixxored

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Found it!

      Submissive preppy bottom, specializes in spanking, light BDSM and Libertarian fiscal policy. No fats, fems or weirdos. Serious inquiries only.

      • Veritas78

        Seriously! I can't help imagining him in a studded dog collar and harness. The chaps are, of course, ass-less.

        Of course, I do this visualization with all republicans. I'm sure a few popped into your minds, too!

  • Buzz Feedback

    Josh, please hold this copy of the cap-and-trade bill while Sen. Manchin re-loads.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Manchin took Viagra before they went into the woods, I think.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        SOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEE!!

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Hi Z! Glorious day, isn't it?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Girl. I am so happy. So, so, happy. And so is my entire fucking household, who have been listening to me scream and rant and throw stuff for months now. Wife just said she wanted something big and shiny. I offered my knee. She's still grossed out. :D

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Tribasim is always worthy of research.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            The only "tribasim" I can find on Teh Googlez is a pron site. :(

            I got enough porn in my life right now, dood. :)

  • nounverb911

    Now Josh has time to study for his Bar Mitzvah.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Only Bar he can hope to pass.

  • Crank_Tango

    Ah this is the day that just keeps on giving.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Silly Republican, wearing a yellow tie and a charcoal suit and white shirt? Everyone knows, red tie for Republicans, blue tie for office holders. Democrats wear the zany colours.

    • qwerty42

      I think Al Capone liked yellow ties.

  • OzoneTom

    How could anyone say "no" to a face like that?

    • Barbara_

      I certainly could.

    • SorosBot

      "No."

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        And no means no!

    • One_who_wanders

      I suspect the vast majority of women already have.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Repeatedly.

      • YouBetcha

        And some men too.

      • emmelemm

        And with votes.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      How could one not punch a face like that repeatedly, with votes?

    • Terry

      A whole bunch of his in-laws certainly did.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I'm still LMFAO over that. They *really* don't like him in that family.

    • Pat_Pending

      with my fists. repeatedly.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Did Mitt cut this kids hair?

  • SoBeach

    So many taken too soon…

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    This kid has a bright future filled with restraining orders.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I was just thinking of that with the comment above referring to women saying no to him. Yes indeedy.

  • goat_thrower

    Wow he looks like a child. Lying to yourself about your sexuality must be good for your skin.

  • Come here a minute

    I keep reading "Ohio state Treasurer Josh Mandel" but thinking "Senior class Treasurer Josh Mandel".

    • elgin_pelican

      Funny, I read "amateur ventiloquist Josh Mandell."

  • StillGoinGreen

    You should all be ashamed!! I, for one, have taken the pledge that there will be NO BULLYING in the seventh grade this year. IT STOPS HERE!!

    P.S. How was the editrix allowed to use his name, ain't that protected under some kiddy law?

  • GregComlish

    Missed Opportunity! This is the photo you should have used for Josh Mandel:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:TwinkieTheKid.j

  • SorosBot

    What can Brown do for you? Defeat an annoying little pipsqueak and remain one of most progressive voices in the Senate.

    • Wadisay

      To be fair, he also caused Rove's PAC and the Koch boys to waste about $200 million bucks. I could love him for that alone.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I wonder wut's become of Karl Rove? Anybody seen him lately?

        • SorosBot

          He went nuts on Fox last night after they called Ohio.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I watched it over and over.

  • izationalizer

    Just dropping by to share some glorious Schadenfreude. I love internet wingnut meltdowns:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLoqti0lzAw&li

    Also, the Freepers are in hysterics. Here are their insights on gender difference and the elections…
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2956404/

    …and on Allen West's loss…
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2956195/

    …and on hiring libtards just so they can fire them…
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2956168/

    …and on how All Hope is Now Lost…
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2956341/

    • SorosBot

      Oh my, some of the Freeper commenters are arguing against womens' suffrage, in fucking 2012, because "Like college kids, women are emotional voters and thinkers; as a result, they are unable to make wise decisions for the benefit of the nation". And of course others are calling any women who use birth control "sluts". Fucking ass deserves to get his balls ripped off.

      • HogeyeGrex

        women are emotional voters and thinkers

        BUT DAMMIT THE QUEERS ARE GONNA DESTROY MAH MARRIAGE AND THE KENYAN MUSLIN IS COMING FOR MAH GUNZ!!!!!!!!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Now *that's* the way a MAN does it. Sensible and logical to the last. You listening, sluts?

      • emmelemm

        Wow. Just – wow.

    • One_who_wanders

      God, they are incoherent (even more so than normal)!

    • GregComlish

      Heh. I love how that last post begins with "I am 60 years old and I have given up" and the first comment is "you're still young!"

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

      • Terry

        "you're still young…and have great mobility now that you got your Rascal Scooter" Subsidized by the government, of course.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        To this 75+ voter, that cretin is young. But it is also great to know that he will no longer be voting. One less stupid-ass wingnut to cast a vote for another stupid-ass wingnut. Keep up the good work!

    • ElPinche

      If I have time. It takes 5 minutes for FR's pages to render on my Mac Pro. They must be running that piece of shit on an RM Nimbus PC.

    • ElPinche

      "All Hope is Now Lost " post deserves a Richard Marx ballad soundtrack.

      • emmelemm

        Hey, when did you switch to Trejo avatar? Me like.

        • ElPinche

          It was the avatar I used right after Obama 2008 election. I brought it back.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Like college kids, women are emotional voters and thinkers; as a result, they are unable to make wise decisions for the benefit of the nation(Yes, there are exceptions). The Founding Fathers knew this, and that’s why women were denied the vote until the 1920s and children weren’t allowed to vote until the 1970s.

      Holy. Crap.

      EDIT: shoulda looked upstream before posting.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        No, no, we can't hear it enough times. I want to show it to wifey. The resulting explosion should level half the trees in our neighbourhood. (Beams)

    • Terry

      Boo frickin hoo

    • ElPinche

      This comment is from a guy who hates early voting:

      "Early voting for weeks and allowing dems to accrue a millions more in voters is not a good thing either."

      At least the r33tard's honest.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        WTF?

        What does he think, we grow 'em in Petri dishes or something????

        • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          Yes.

    • freakishlywrong

      Jesus fucking Christ. These people. Please, emigrate.

      • WhatTheHeck

        To Alaska. Get rid of the native peoples. Form new country. Lots of huntin n fishin.

        • GeneralLerong

          Too late, they're already here. Came with the pipeline. Alaska is now Arkansas North.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          You forgot the 'skeeters. Nothing like a sky darkened by flying bloodsuckers..

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I’m a women and everytime I look at him I want to puke.

      Is this person related to Ralph Wiggum?

    • BornInATrailer

      "I saw some stats yesterday that said over 50% of adult women are now unmarried.

      Add that figure to the booming population of illegals and other minorities and you get a super-majority of takers that vote for a living."

      Nice! Single + Woman = Moocher

      If you liked it you shoulda put a SNAP card on it.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I'm loving this! Their *resolution* of this problem involves Wifin' 'em Up! How you gonna wife up a woman wut runs screaming from the sight of you? Answer: RAPE BABBIES! OMG. Now the strategy becomes clear!

        Sherri Tepper couldn't have written a better plot.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      that youtube lady… just…wow… (she sounds like)

      to be fair though, romney WOULD have won if more people had shared her youtube videos.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I admire everyone's bravery for visiting those sites. I, for one, ain't gonna do it.

    • bikerlaureate

      Just for you, I ventured there…

      From the sane, mature thread about West loooooo-osing:

      This is the worst Republican defeat in modern history. It reminds me of when the Democrats lost the civil war.

      I hope not.

      F***!

      Today feels like the end of the world.
      I know my nation no more to exist.

      Dear Lord…

      I spit on America.

      Regardless…make him Speaker of the House!

      (some of these have to be snark… um, right?)

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Don't count on it. The part about making Allen West the Speaker of the House after he LOST his seat is sheer mescalin-fueled nutbaggitude. Ah, poetry! (kisses fingertips)

        • bikerlaureate

          Sweet, sweet teabagger tears.

          I'm in no mood to put up with their consciously ignorant bullshit. Sane adults can consider other people's behaviors, and morality, and metaphysics – and accept the possibility that they may be wrong, on occasion. These nuts have inoculated themselves from any source of information that could be objective. Just as with the homophobes, this neurosis reveals more about their inability to function in the new millenium than anything else – and if they want to participate in governing, they'd better do some soul-searching about what "consensus" and "mediation" really mean.

          No more coddling. They've hurt too many people for too long. If they can't accept the dissenting voices in the USA as we are, I'm very tempted to buy 'www.VotingIsASin.com' and devote some time over the next two years to scaring them away from the polls.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, I love it. Go on, do it! Let's invent a religion and get rich fleecing these dopes. They deserve everything they've brought upon themselves.

            Wait. I can't be a cockroach for a billion lifetimes. OK, bag that idea.

    • BornInATrailer

      Just went through the Abandon All Hope comments. That is one hearty stew of biblical end times, blantant racism, impending economic collapse, and Sharia-communist-police-state-survivalism. Desperation is a stinky cologne.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      These ppl are just BEGGING for a public mocking. Jesus. The combination of flopsweat, cum-encrusted sweatsocks, cheetos, bitter gun-'n-bible-clinging and sheer fuckwaddish misogyny is hard to take at times. Thank you for your service in unearthing these encrusted nuggets.

  • rickmaci

    Give this kid some crayons so he will stop whining.

  • bureaucrap

    Remind me to buy him a tie for his bar mitzvah, which should be coming up in a couple of years.

  • SmutBoffin

    That mom of his probably tucked him in after the campaign closed shop last night, telling him that he would do better next time and that he should get some rest, for tomorrow is a new day.

    His wife probably got drunk and passed out in a bed full of sailors.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I bet his footie pajamas were really soft.

    • ChessieNefercat

      So basically, an ordinary Tuesday night.

    • Terry

      Or her cousins grabbed her and did an intervention.

  • editor

    another one bites the dust … thanks for the trips down memory lane, but i think i may have overgloated now.

    • One_who_wanders

      You have to gloat through the burn, that is how you get better.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Just have a hair of the goat that bit ya.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Start getting ready for 2014- plenty of gloat chow

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Tomorrow, we start.

        Today, we GLOAT!!

  • taylormattd

    I'd hit it.

    • nounverb911

      With a Louisville Slugger?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        That's no way to treat your twink.

    • StillGoinGreen

      Sandusky, is that you?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Wut with?

  • AlterNewt

    Such a nice boy.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Go back to Lost Forest, Rusty — Mark and Cherry miss you.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Sad Mittens and Obama winning,
    Senate's finally in the spotlight.
    This November I heard the counting,
    Mandel lost in Oh Hio!

  • mavenmaven

    For a moment I thought that picture was of a new Wonkette intern, like Riley Waggaman all dressed up.

  • Callyson

    All those billionaires who spent all that money on the SuperPACs sure look like idiots now…

    • SoBeach

      Think they learned anything?

      • BadKitty904

        Let's hope not!

      • Callyson

        Very unlikely. Assholes.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        I learned that I should be a yes man. Tell old rich white dudes what they want to hear for an enormous paycheck.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Yeah, think of all the hospital wings they could have bought…
      What a waste!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Anybody hear what happened to Karl Rove? He seems to have gone awful quiet since his meltdown.

    • dennis1943

      Rove is quietly leaving the country………….

      • Callyson

        Optimist.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Not till after Shelly Adelson and the Koch Bros. find out how he frittered away their money, honey. He blew $300MIL and lost every single seat he bet on. You can bet your ass the money people are not happy with him this morning. They like a ROI.

  • DixvilleCrotch

    He looks very eager to please, which is something I value highly in a man.

    • ChessieNefercat

      If only he were one!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Let me just go remove his ears and tail. You won them with this comment.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Oh that kid lost?

  • memzilla

    Not even AIPAC is gonna return Josh's calls.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Schadenfreude? Why, yes, I'm soaking in it"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      (hands fw a glass of champagne) Drink, madam?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    He has a face made for pissing on

    • BadKitty904

      Wouldn't surprise me…

    • Tio_Doidinho

      That costs extra.

      So I hear.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Read it in a book, honest!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Hey, there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
      They say I'm the cutest boy in town
      My car is fast, my teeth is shiny
      I tell all the girls they can kiss my hiny …

  • Baconzgood

    Baconz new jerb is effecting his snark time. It givez me the sadz that I lozed a p-point.

    I find this difficult to masterbate to too also.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Your p-ness does look a bit short.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      We love funk you no matter what the p-score says, Bacnz.

      • Baconzgood

        I just changed my AVATAR because of you Mumble!!!

        AWSOME TACULAR!

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Miss your pork-flavored snark!

    • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

      How did you lose a point? My p-points have been frozen at the same number since they took away the down-fisty thingy. I assumed the feature was turned off.

      • Baconzgood

        if you don't post early and post often the p-ness deflates I'm told.

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Use it or lose it?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Baconzgood!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Mention Elizabeth Warren and your p-ness will grow.
      Masterbation ensues!
      Win/Win!!!!!!!!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        BRB.

    • emmelemm

      We miss your snark.

    • StillGoinGreen

      Once, when the world was good and IntenseDebate was young and supple, it gived us pee very freely. Then, the evil Ken Layne and ID Gods stole over HALF OF OUR PEE. Ken blamed Jesus, but we know he used our pee for his desert rituals. Then, the pee flowed from an old man's prostate. I, too, getz tha sadz thinkin bout my lost pees… they were almost enough to buy me a pint of teh black and tan!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        There. I upfisted you and will keep upfisting you until you haz more pee.

        • StillGoinGreen

          When your arm gets tired, you can borrow my avata-HooHoo!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Woo-woo, dude or dudine. Who didja used to be when you had huge pee?

          • StillGoinGreen

            I went by GoinGreen, but it didn't transfer, so I was then "still"born.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Well, that certainly deserved teh upfist.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I just upfisted you. HTH.

      Try harder.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Miss you, Bacon. Here's something I've been saving for when you came back to celebrate with us:
      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/20/funny-ki

  • YouBetcha

    I would not hit that.

    OK, maybe with my pocketbook, in the back of its weasly little head.

    • Terry

      Or with my Chevy. With a bumper full of votes.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    So many fallen heroes! Good bye, GOP! It's been real.

  • BadKitty904

    Oi, such a putz.

    • MosesInvests

      Azoi, a shandeh fahr die goyim.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Mebbe he can try again after his pubes all come in.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      My Dad used to say that! Whenever we argued with him, he'd say, "Come back and tell me what you think after your ass grows one or two hairs."

      Dad?

  • Halloween Jack

    His fellow Founders recalled him to the Great Link, and once he was reabsorbed into the group consciousness he overcame his rage and disappointment at being unable to infiltrate this particular group of "solids".

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      DELTA QUADRANT LIBEL!

      • vulpes82

        *aHEM* The Founders are from the GAMMA Quadrant, actually. /nerd

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Fucking Voyager….confused me

        • SorosBot

          Yeah, the Delta Quadrant is where Voyager was lost, and thus can be ignored without losing anything important.

          • vulpes82

            Except 7 of 9, if you're into boobs and catsuits.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Hey, the Ryan kerfluffle gave us a Barry.

          • emmelemm

            No one has lost any

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Very mysterious, his unfragging.

    • BadKitty904

      "to date"

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        (Hugs the BadKitty, rubs its furry belly) You are SO sweet! Thanks for giving me hope.

  • ChessieNefercat

    My home state (Ohio) and my home county (Cuyahoga) did some good stuff last night. Grounding little Joshy was one of them.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Srsly, I've been in such a lather about OH. I am SO FUCKING HAPPY that y'all pulled through for the best Senator and best President!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Well let's see, Rmoney, and Mandel, and Joe the Plumber, and Chris Long. Yep that's ♪ four dead in Ohio.♪

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Happy, happy, joy, joy.

      With votes, that is.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    So incredible this little twerp got so much of the vote last night.

    Did Sherrod Brown participate in a widely televised puppy murdering orgy last week or something?

    • BumbleKid

      I can't believe you missed it!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Gotta go make lunch, BRB. :)

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Make me a sammich while you're up?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I roasted some chicken after butter-browning it, with fingerling potatoes, carrots, caramelized onions, lemon juice, thyme and rosemary from my garden. The whole house smells like heaven. It's been a while since I had either the incentive or the energy to stand up long enough to do something useful. I feel like I just came back to life.

        This whole fucking STATE is celebrating, with much cheering in the streets and people playing music loud at night and other people not even reporting them to the po-pos. Here's some nice buttery roast-chicken breast on whole wheat.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Oh, that sounds so good. I simply must find myself a spouse who can cook (or pay for fancy dinners). What's for desert?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Semifreddi's dark-chocolate-dipped almond biscotti. :)

            It's good to live in the midst of such culinary plenty. :)

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      Hurry!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        (Hugs you) Such a chweetie!

  • ElPinche

    Lindsey Graham has a sad now. He had high hopes for Josh's 12 yr old hairless tea bags.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I love you, but you really know how to make a fella puke.

      • ElPinche

        I watch alot of porn so I'm conditioned to certain scenarios.

    • LibrarianX

      This kid has altar boy potential!

  • freakishlywrong

    So young. So brainwashed and dickish. The cult is strong in this one.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    What would he look like as a mannequin?

    • BadKitty904

      See photo above.

    • SorosBot

      Kim Cattrall?

  • smitallica

    VO: "The Committee to Elect Josh Mandel is responsible for the content of this advertising."
    Josh: "AN' I HELPED!!"

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Say, so long as we're on the fallout…and I happen to notice the DVD is being released next week…whatever happened with that asshat down in Florida who couldn't finish building his 90,000 square foot mansion but can afford to close his business and retire? He get his plane yet?

    • freakishlywrong

      Silly. They take TRAINS to Galt's Gulch.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Gonna be a wet train ride, Boca to the Bahamas…

    • BadKitty904
    • BlueStateLibel

      I just don't get that guy. Whining and complaining about how he spent his youth working himself to death so that he could build…the ugliest most pointless thing you ever saw. He's sort of like the tacky version of the Great Gatsby.

  • SmutBoffin

    WHEN WILL THESE BRAVE ANTIGOVT PATRIOTS GET THEIR MEMORIAL, OBUMMER?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Shortly after the drone hits, I should think.

  • Guppy

    Tangent: Why does anybody bother with "political debates?"

  • keepwalkin

    Schmuck!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Also, I feel really bad for those of you who have "Mitt" or "Romney" as part of your handle here. Now we have to go thru all those reintroductions:

    "Yea, my name is Shad N Freude, but you used to know me as Mittborgenstern"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTTHEFUCKUP!!!

      (melts down like Karl Rove)

      • ChessieNefercat

        There, there, PaulBorg (DonaldBorg, HermBorg, CrazyeyesBorg, HarpyBorg, RandBorg, RickyBorg, ah, hell, just rotate through them like the country will have to do starting in about 3.5 weeks). It'll be okay!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Honest, I'll get around to changing my name and av. I'm DONE wiv Mitt. YES!

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            Hiya dearie! It's been awhile. Hope you've feeling fine & dandy lately!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Hey, gorgeous! (Grabs your ass shamelessly) How do?

            I feel GREAT! FUCKING GREAT! Don't you?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Elton John needs to write a teary song about the fallen heroes and Mitt-bott set to the lyrics of "Candle in the Wind" right about now.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      "Koch Cock Up the Butt"?

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    I have to admit, I knew that Republicans were really serious about expressing their pro-life bonafides this cycle, but I was still surprised that they went as far as to run an actual fetus against Sherrod Brown.

  • JaceWyatt

    power bottom

    • BadKitty904

      ….though, I suspect, a poor one…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    joe walsh is getting his ass smacked again on local radio by pundits ("you had a rough night last night so i'm not going to point out that everything you just said is untrue").

    apparently he's considering running for governor or (more likely) IL republican party chair.

    as we flipped four seats from red to blue last night, i'm all for it.

    • Cleopatriot

      That's what I want to see. The ILGOP flips even further right than Brady in the next election. Maybe he can get Jason Plummer to be his running mate.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I wanna hear Congresswoman Duckworth tell him, "That's Captain Duckworth to you, maggot!"

      Cuz that boy has some real problems with Ovarian-Americans. So I think it would be nice to kick him in the groin when he's down.

  • Misty Malarky

    Somewhat OT and not at all snarky (well, not completely snarky):

    Exactly what country are all my old high school Facebook pals planning on moving to now that the ol' Socialist Atheist Muslim debbil man done cheated his way into another term?

    Some are threatening to move to Canada, which is very funny – unless you happen to be Canadian, I guess.

    • BadKitty904

      I hear Venezuela or Somalia might suit them…

    • viennawoods13

      God, no, please. We have enough rednecks around us already, and we're a quick boat trip from Ohio.

  • TheMightyHaltor

    Sherrod Brown 1: Metric assload of out-of-state money 0

  • Egregious644

    Josh Mandel claims that he is a member of the Jewish faith, yet his views on abortion are totally contrary to Judaism. In the Talmud, an embryo is not a viable person, but is a being of doubtful viability. All Orthodox Jewish believe that abortion is not only acceptable but mandatory to save a woman's life. Other streams of Judaism have an even more liberal view on this issue.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Even Muslim mullahs who can have somewhat atavistic notions about women do not hold that a woman must bear her rapist's child. Nor does Islam forbid abortion.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Neither did Christianity until all the American fundies took a political clue from the Pope.

        "See, guys, you can use this simple little angle to keep half the population in its place…"

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Yes, now they're working behind NGO fronts to join together internationally and vote on women's rights and blasphemy laws at the UN.

    • MosesInvests

      Thanks for pointing that out.

  • LIT_Fag

    Hey Josh, there's always twink-daddy porn.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Isn't there an age requirement for Senate? This isn't student council!

  • Weenus299

    McLovin is just a little too young for my tastes.

    • ChessieNefercat

      All in all, that's probably a good thing.

  • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

    Josh Mandel's momentum trying to go from Dog Catcher to President of the Free World within six months has stalled. Sorry, buddy! Maybe you could run for Police Chief or something next!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    A punim you should only piss on.

  • LibrarianX

    I hope he can get by on his allowance.

  • larrykat

    If this dipshit was in Animal House he would totally be an Omega.

  • rocktonsam

    he seems like a good kid. just got in with the wrong crowd.

  • smellyal8tr

    Wait, wait, wait…slow down…he is married to a WOMAN?!?!

  • ttommyunger

    There's always another election on the horizon, Josh; buck-up, but wait until your testes descend, just for shits and giggles.

  • Negropolis

    You know, when you have a legitimate election, it has tendancy to shut the whole thing down.

  • Smithboy

    Wow!…. a Zionist zealot saying he would cut off aid to Muslim countries who won't kiss Israel's or this country's ass….is that crazy or what? I'm shocked.

    Hey Josh, any thoughts on Israel stealing land from Palestinians or denying them food, medicine, building materials? Just asking.

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    Did anyone tell him he wasn't running for his high school student council?

  • clecinosu

    One more thing we Ohioans have to do is get him out of the treasurer's office.

    Shouldn't be hard. He's almost never there anyway.