pantheon of fallen heroes

Farewell Janice Daniels, Celebrated Homophobe Mayor and Facebook Poet

Pretty ladyAs we continue to mourn our Fallen Heroes, let us not forget Mayor Janice Daniels of Troy, Michigan! This beloved character danced onto the pages of our Wonkette storybook earlier this year, when she put on her Snuggie, logged into her The Facebook account, and started yelling “QUEERS!!!!” at children. It did not take long for the people of Troy to decide they did not care for this Janice Daniels, because Troy is supposed to be known for its fancy mall, not an insane mayor. (The existence of Janice Daniels as mayor was a clear infringement upon Detroit’s exclusive rights to pathological mayors.) Last night, the people of Troy (Trojans?) successfully recalled their mayor, and so today, we offer a sincere slow-clap for them, and a big “I Heart NYC” gift bag full of tears for Janice Daniels.

Or rather, we offer a slow-clap to the slight majority of Troy voters who recalled Janice Daniels.

It was a tight race throughout, but the effort to recall Troy Mayor Janice Daniels officially passed early Wednesday morning.

With all 31 precincts reporting, the yes vote won 20,763 to 18,993.

“We’re estatic,” said Matt Binkowski, spokesman for the effort to recall the embattled mayor.

“We’re very happy that Troy can now finally move forward and the embarrassment of Janice Daniels’ short term as mayor is finally over.”

Victory party at Panda Express! But not for Janice Daniels.

Binkowski said the campaign has been a long one.

“Unfortunately, a lot of feelings have been hurt on both sides. I think this is the best thing for Troy.”

Daniels was confident earlier in the evening, but she was unavailable for comment when the final results came down.

Good bye, Janice Daniels! You keep rocking that signature Middle Eastern man-flair. [Royal Oak Daily Tribune]

About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

View all articles by Blair Burke

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    Um, that's a dude?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh please! No drag queen would let himself get so frumpy.

      • nounverb911

        What about Marcus B?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Damn, the exception that proofs the rule….

      • elviouslyqueer

        Or be caught dead sporting a "butt-cut" wig. Unless they were doing an homage to Jan Brady or Mary Tyler Moore. But even then…

        • NorthStarSpanx

          I was thinking more Bucky Larson.
          http://www.buckylarson.com/

        • SorosBot

          I think that's Prince Valium from Spaceballs.

          • elgin_pelican

            HeMan! (from the Masters of the Universe).

      • anniegetyerfun

        There's actually a transsexual dude who works at my former company and his wig is ALWAYS a mess. It made my gay but not trans friends really angry.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          There's a lady in my neighborhood who refuses to get rid of her massive 5 o'clock shadow. It drives me nuts.

    • widestanceromance

      Dame Edna's high school pic?

    • mannacler

      She needs to find a gay hairdresser.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Could've used that federal money for that Transit Center just to send her ass out of town.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Could've used that federal money to get her an actual gay-done haircut. (Fixed)

  • gullywompr

    The Great Bagger Bubble of 2010 has been popped.

    • Mojopo

      More of a lanced boil, perhaps?

      • gullywompr

        Lance Boyle was my favorite of the hardboiled detective characters.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Daniels will soon file for dual citizenship in Switzerland.

  • Lucidamente1

    Janice Daniels will now be spending a lot of time with Jack Daniels.

    • nounverb911

      She's changing her name to Jack.

      • HELisforHEL

        That would be the only way to get people to like her.

      • Beowoof

        From appearances she won't need the surgery.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    So do they have Ye Olde Puritan stores at the fancy mall in Troy?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Duh, where else does one get their big buckle shoes?

    • HELisforHEL

      Seriously. She looks like she just returned from a trip to the 80's.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        The 1680's

      • mrpuma2u

        In a thread several months ago, I accused her of stealing that outfit from the "Facts of Life" wardrobe. Yeesh.

  • coolhandnuke

    Smarta invaded Troy.

    • Nostrildamus

      That's a classic!

    • Negropolis

      Ha! The suburban Detroit bus system is actually named SMART. lol

  • SorosBot

    It's the gays' fault, I'm sure.

  • Goonemeritus

    We’re screwed here at the Wonkette, what is the blog equivalent of classic rock radio.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Daily Kos

    • nounverb911

      Needs more Allison Steele and Pete Fornatale.

      • HELisforHEL

        The nightbird!

      • LesBontemps

        Carol Miller or GTFO.

      • Goonemeritus

        I was born a Vin Scelsa fan, I will die a Vin Scelsa fan.

      • SorosBot

        Freebird and Stairway to Heaven at least once a day; and three Beatles songs in a row at 7AM and again at 4PM.

      • mavenmaven

        OMG I remember them. I'm going to go listen to Yes now and break out with acne.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Oh please! Scott Muni!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Zombie Scott Muni. But yeah, Scott was The Man.

          A lot of the old WNYC crew is on Sirius satellite radio, still playing the rock music that those danged youngsters used to listen to all the time. Whatever happened to those kids, anyhow?

  • SexySmurf

    That picture was taken right before she tried to kill Josh Brolin with a captive bolt pistol.

    • Negropolis

      Truly, Troy is no place for middle-aged, homophobic women. :(

  • Ruhe

    Mayor successfully hectored out of office by fellow Trojans.

    • BadKitty904

      ISWYDT

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Recall votes are pure helen wingnut incompetents.

    • Toomush_Infer

      She may move to Paris (ok, I quit)… atlas….(ok, I really quit)….

    • BadKitty904

      "Is this the face that sank a thousand ships and stopped the clocks of Hell?"

      • Toomush_Infer

        Well, certainly the cocks of Hell, anyway….

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Unlikely – they are eternally put to good use – but I'll let you know, once she gets here.

      • Negropolis

        WIN

    • SorosBot

      She's ill, and a bit horse. Meanwhile they'll have to clean out her office with Ajax.

      • Ruhe

        You know, that product comes in two formulations for different cleaning situations. Will this require the greater or the lesser of the two, do you think?

    • PugglesRule

      Citizens: "We would have kept her if she'd handed out free condoms."

  • RomneysLogCabin

    I wonder how many of the men she's dated 'came out' during or afterward.

    • fishwharf

      She could certainly make me change teams.

  • Come here a minute

    These tearful farewells are really getting to me — it's like when you realize after the high school graduation parties that you'll never see most of these people again.

    • HELisforHEL

      "These tearful farewells are really getting to me — it's like when you realize after the high school graduation parties that you'll happily never see most of these people again."

      /fixed

    • elgin_pelican

      Or that you'll see them again when you're at the second window picking up your McRib.

  • nounverb911

    OT: Are we running out of people to make fun of?

    • Disassembly

      Don't worry, we're going to outsource our targets of mockery to China. They must have some bozos over there.

      • nounverb911

        米特•罗姆尼(Mitt Romney)宣布,他将购买通用汽车的所有作业和运输到中国.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Oh, I'm pretty sure the teabag isn't empty yet – and there's always Boner and the Turtle…

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        ♪♫ B-B-B-Boner and the Turtle ♫♪

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Nothing to worry about my friend.
      http://www.startribune.com/politics/national/1775

      • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

        That dress really brings out the green in her hair.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "… she [Bachman] sought to cultivate a nonpartisan image with voters by pointing to the singular achievement of her three terms in the U.S. House: spearheading legislation to approve a new freeway-style bridge over the St. Croix River near Stillwater."

        Three fucking terms, one lousy bridge, and they re-elect her? This is a distrct that truly believes in little or no government.

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      We'll always have Steve King.

    • SorosBot

      We've still got crazy-eyes Michele; and the Brazilians.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      joe barton and sen. paul are still around right?

  • ElPinche

    Good lord…its Sharron Angle in drag.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The Face That Launched A Thousand Recall Votes

  • elviouslyqueer

    and a big “I Heart NYC” gift bag full of tears delicious, deep-fried rat dicks for Janice Daniels.

    There. FTFY, Blair. XOXO

  • edgydrifter

    Call me skullist, but I make it a rule to not vote for people with anvil-shaped heads.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    She picked that outfit up at a Baylon 5 surplus sale, right?

    • BadKitty904

      The Ministry of Peace has obviously promoted her to the rank of "colonel" in the Nightwatch.

    • ElPinche

      LOL

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …nah, that definitely has Romulin retro look to it

  • Studebaker Hawk

    I can't tell–which of the Kids in the Hall is that?

  • Antispandex

    "…because Troy is supposed to be known for its fancy mall, not an insane mayor."

    Well, that's really a bad attitude. At least they were known for SOMETHING. An insane mayor will not put you on the map, it's true, what with all of the other insane mayors, but it's a start.

  • LesBontemps

    Her hairdresser has a lot to answer for.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Well, um, not being gay is probably one thing…

    • Callyson

      Shh, don't blow the stylists cover. I've already said too much.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That alone should convince her that gays are good to have around.

  • CrunchyKnee

    That dude from Spinal Tap sure did age poorly.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Why does she remind me of Tom Hulce?

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    So long, loser! Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I will mourn this "lady" the same way I am Allen "RECOUNT RECOUNT" West, Murdock and Akin, (damn you Michele Bachman) by laughing hysterically and being grateful for sanity where I can find it.

    • prommie

      Never forget Not Joe the Not Congressman Not Plumber.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Trojan mayors: Pleasure you want. Protection you trust.

    Or not.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Does her head have a reservoir tip?

    • LesBontemps

      It's ribbed for her pleasure.

    • widestanceromance

      LO-frickin'L

  • BadKitty904

    No, seriously. That's a guy, right?

  • HateMachine

    It's okay, she can get a job as Quaker Oats' new logo model.

    • Mittaplasia

      I had a Meg Whitman avatar as the Quaker Oats, er, person.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I'm feeling so good today, I'd fuck her crazy, bigoted tears away.

    • BornInATrailer

      You are a trooper.

  • Not_So_Much

    I hope she has the good form to have an illicit affair on her way out of the office.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Sort of OT, but FOX News was on one of the three TVs I set up for my election night party. It's seems I missed all the best parts, but Salon has a nice recap of conservative butthurt that I didn't catch.

    Worth a click.

    • MissTaken

      Hehe!

      Just talked to my parents who are in shitstain Dan Lungren's district (he's down 200 votes right now!) and my mom said she watched Fox last night for the lulz. She said watching the Rove meltdown was glorious. I guess he got the boot from the set once Mitt ceded. Lovely!

      • SorosBot

        Fox last night was a lot of fun; they were all so sad, it was schadenfreude-errific. Almost as fun as looking at all the depressed white faces at Romney headquarters.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Don't miss their Drudge Report timeline. It's pretty funny to see the headlines (d)evolve as the night wears on and reality sinks it's teeth into Drudge's fat ass (and knocks his dopey hat askew.)

  • Callyson

    Unfortunately, a lot of feelings have been hurt on both sides

    So both of her cheeks are butt hurt. Got it.

  • ElPinche

    Janice Daniels looks like she's was straight & gay bashed with an ugly stick.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    If anything involving Trojans is ever too tight, it's time to start contemplating Magnums.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    It's like this election is the Chicxulub Meteor of homophobia, virulent "family values" advocates, theocrats and faith-based policies everywhere. In reality, just like the real K-T boundary, the end didn't come in one fell swoop but carried on for years before and after — but this really feels like the point at which social evolution gained a fatal momentum for the poor diplodoci and tricertatopsians and such. The rise of the voles is well and truly on.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      If only. The problem with fundies is that they never learn, and they never shut the fuck up, because religion.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Where is/are the Trojan whores?

    / I'm sorry, that was too easy, but then I have no shame when it comes to puns

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Wiggy Mayors, State reps and senators, governors, they come in all shapes and parties. My small town ex-Mayor kept showing up at public events to try and mark the occasion with her crazy private citizen words.

    Wasilla even tried to take Sarah Palin's coronation back but lost. Probably because they didn't have Facebook or Twitter back then.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Good bye, Janice Daniels!

    And 100mg Prozac STAT.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    J-A-N-I-C-E goes into the anus to rupture intestines..

  • BornInATrailer

    She looks like Connie on Brickleberry.

  • Baconzgood

    Has america turned a corner? Is not being bat shit crazy the new norm? I hope so.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Oy, that picture!!! It burns my eyes!! It looks like someone went in drag as Betty Crocker last Hallowe'en.

    • BadKitty904

      *Evil* Betty Crocker…

    • prommie

      Looks like Captain Crunch, sans hat, to me.

    • LibrarianX

      I thought it was Bruce Vilanche.

  • RedneckMuslin

    "There once was a pervert named Weiner
    Who had a perverted demeanor
    Forced from the Hill
    For acting like Bill
    Now Congress is one weiner leaner"

    I hate her for saying it but I still think it's funny.

  • BornInATrailer

    If Samwise Gamgee grew up as a sexually confused Prince fan.

  • MinAgain

    That haircut was a mistake. So it matches her mayorship.

    • LibrarianX

      Is her hair an expression of her personality?

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Oh, crazy and fancy aren't mutually exclusive ask the residents of Rosemont, IL

  • Cleopatriot

    It's as if large parts of the country went sane all of a sudden.

  • Terry

    I can shop at the fancy Troy mall, the Somerset Collection, once again without feeling guilt about being in that town.

  • cousinitt

    Janice is now qualified to run for Mayor of Wasilla and then who knows, maybe even the White House!

    • mavenmaven

      needs moar meth

  • LibrarianX

    This is what happens when you go to straight hairdressers.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I can't believe I'll be in first with this:

    Was this the face that launched a thousand shits?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      to be fair, not everyone immediately thinks of the ex mayor of troy MI and christopher marlowe in the same time.

  • ChrisM2011

    Little Boy Blue called. He wants his hair back.

  • Mittaplasia

    That hair "don't" didn't work for Smeg Shytman, either.

  • cybermoe

    I don't like her hair.

  • Halloween Jack

    If I had to make up a story about the person in that picture, it would go something like this:

    She's that one person in the church choir that shows up to every single practice and every single Sunday service, without fail, and always has that exact same expression on her face, every single time you see her. You never see her talking to anyone else, though, or any other choir member talking to her. You're new to the choir yourself, and although other choristers are polite and cordial to you, you don't feel particularly close to any of them.

    At the choir Christmas party, which is a few days before Christmas midnight mass, you finally get up the nerve to talk to her, and walk up to her and say hi. She doesn't even say hi back, just looks at you with the same damn expression and says, "Every Christmas Jesus puts a baby in me, and every Easter He takes it back."

    Despite your deep desire to run screaming out of there and never return to that church again, you show up to midnight mass, and after the last chorus of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" has died away, the lead baritone walks up to you, and says, "Saw you talking to Janice at the party, and of course we all know what she said to you–same thing she says to everyone–and yet you came back." He gives you a bone-crushing hug. "Welcome to the choir."

  • ttommyunger

    Did not know John Denver had a kid. Who's the mom, Captain Kangaroo?

  • Negropolis

    My only regret is that this thing was so close (52/48), which is the margin she won her original race by. But, a win is a win, and Mayor Haircut is gone. Bless her heart, she won't be getting off at Exit 69 to take a ride on Big Beaver, anymore.

    BTW, read all of your comments, and I laughed the entire way through the thread. Thanks for the fun, you guys. Troy can truly get back to be normal and ridding itself of the tea party.