PANTHEON OF FALLEN HEROES  1:15 pm November 7, 2012

Farewell Janice Daniels, Celebrated Homophobe Mayor and Facebook Poet

by Blair Burke

Pretty ladyAs we continue to mourn our Fallen Heroes, let us not forget Mayor Janice Daniels of Troy, Michigan! This beloved character danced onto the pages of our Wonkette storybook earlier this year, when she put on her Snuggie, logged into her The Facebook account, and started yelling “QUEERS!!!!” at children. It did not take long for the people of Troy to decide they did not care for this Janice Daniels, because Troy is supposed to be known for its fancy mall, not an insane mayor. (The existence of Janice Daniels as mayor was a clear infringement upon Detroit’s exclusive rights to pathological mayors.) Last night, the people of Troy (Trojans?) successfully recalled their mayor, and so today, we offer a sincere slow-clap for them, and a big “I Heart NYC” gift bag full of tears for Janice Daniels.

Or rather, we offer a slow-clap to the slight majority of Troy voters who recalled Janice Daniels.

It was a tight race throughout, but the effort to recall Troy Mayor Janice Daniels officially passed early Wednesday morning.

With all 31 precincts reporting, the yes vote won 20,763 to 18,993.

“We’re estatic,” said Matt Binkowski, spokesman for the effort to recall the embattled mayor.

“We’re very happy that Troy can now finally move forward and the embarrassment of Janice Daniels’ short term as mayor is finally over.”

Victory party at Panda Express! But not for Janice Daniels.

Binkowski said the campaign has been a long one.

“Unfortunately, a lot of feelings have been hurt on both sides. I think this is the best thing for Troy.”

Daniels was confident earlier in the evening, but she was unavailable for comment when the final results came down.

Good bye, Janice Daniels! You keep rocking that signature Middle Eastern man-flair. [Royal Oak Daily Tribune]

 
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{ 138 comments }

Clancy_Pants November 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Um, that's a dude?

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Oh please! No drag queen would let himself get so frumpy.

nounverb911 November 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm

What about Marcus B?

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Damn, the exception that proofs the rule….

elviouslyqueer November 7, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Or be caught dead sporting a "butt-cut" wig. Unless they were doing an homage to Jan Brady or Mary Tyler Moore. But even then…

NorthStarSpanx November 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I was thinking more Bucky Larson.
http://www.buckylarson.com/

SorosBot November 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I think that's Prince Valium from Spaceballs.

elgin_pelican November 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

HeMan! (from the Masters of the Universe).

anniegetyerfun November 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

There's actually a transsexual dude who works at my former company and his wig is ALWAYS a mess. It made my gay but not trans friends really angry.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

There's a lady in my neighborhood who refuses to get rid of her massive 5 o'clock shadow. It drives me nuts.

widestanceromance November 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Dame Edna's high school pic?

mannacler November 8, 2012 at 8:37 am

She needs to find a gay hairdresser.

Gratuitous World November 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Could've used that federal money for that Transit Center just to send her ass out of town.

Toomush_Infer November 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Could've used that federal money to get her an actual gay-done haircut. (Fixed)

gullywompr November 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

The Great Bagger Bubble of 2010 has been popped.

Mojopo November 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

More of a lanced boil, perhaps?

gullywompr November 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Lance Boyle was my favorite of the hardboiled detective characters.

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Daniels will soon file for dual citizenship in Switzerland.

Lucidamente1 November 7, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Janice Daniels will now be spending a lot of time with Jack Daniels.

nounverb911 November 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

She's changing her name to Jack.

HELisforHEL November 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

That would be the only way to get people to like her.

Beowoof November 7, 2012 at 1:49 pm

From appearances she won't need the surgery.

Loch_Nessosaur November 7, 2012 at 1:20 pm

So do they have Ye Olde Puritan stores at the fancy mall in Troy?

anniegetyerfun November 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Duh, where else does one get their big buckle shoes?

HELisforHEL November 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Seriously. She looks like she just returned from a trip to the 80's.

smokefilledroommate November 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

The 1680's

mrpuma2u November 7, 2012 at 2:27 pm

In a thread several months ago, I accused her of stealing that outfit from the "Facts of Life" wardrobe. Yeesh.

coolhandnuke November 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Smarta invaded Troy.

Nostrildamus November 7, 2012 at 3:14 pm

That's a classic!

Negropolis November 8, 2012 at 12:24 am

Ha! The suburban Detroit bus system is actually named SMART. lol

SorosBot November 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

It's the gays' fault, I'm sure.

Goonemeritus November 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

We’re screwed here at the Wonkette, what is the blog equivalent of classic rock radio.

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Daily Kos

nounverb911 November 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Needs more Allison Steele and Pete Fornatale.

HELisforHEL November 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

The nightbird!

LesBontemps November 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Carol Miller or GTFO.

Goonemeritus November 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I was born a Vin Scelsa fan, I will die a Vin Scelsa fan.

SorosBot November 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Freebird and Stairway to Heaven at least once a day; and three Beatles songs in a row at 7AM and again at 4PM.

mavenmaven November 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm

OMG I remember them. I'm going to go listen to Yes now and break out with acne.

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Oh please! Scott Muni!

Biel_ze_Bubba November 7, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Zombie Scott Muni. But yeah, Scott was The Man.

A lot of the old WNYC crew is on Sirius satellite radio, still playing the rock music that those danged youngsters used to listen to all the time. Whatever happened to those kids, anyhow?

SexySmurf November 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

That picture was taken right before she tried to kill Josh Brolin with a captive bolt pistol.

Negropolis November 8, 2012 at 12:25 am

Truly, Troy is no place for middle-aged, homophobic women. :(

Ruhe November 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Mayor successfully hectored out of office by fellow Trojans.

BadKitty904 November 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

ISWYDT

Lascauxcaveman November 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Recall votes are pure helen wingnut incompetents.

Toomush_Infer November 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

She may move to Paris (ok, I quit)… atlas….(ok, I really quit)….

BadKitty904 November 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"Is this the face that sank a thousand ships and stopped the clocks of Hell?"

Toomush_Infer November 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Well, certainly the cocks of Hell, anyway….

Biel_ze_Bubba November 7, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Unlikely – they are eternally put to good use – but I'll let you know, once she gets here.

Negropolis November 8, 2012 at 12:26 am

WIN

SorosBot November 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

She's ill, and a bit horse. Meanwhile they'll have to clean out her office with Ajax.

Ruhe November 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

You know, that product comes in two formulations for different cleaning situations. Will this require the greater or the lesser of the two, do you think?

PugglesRule November 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Citizens: "We would have kept her if she'd handed out free condoms."

RomneysLogCabin November 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I wonder how many of the men she's dated 'came out' during or afterward.

fishwharf November 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

She could certainly make me change teams.

Come here a minute November 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

These tearful farewells are really getting to me — it's like when you realize after the high school graduation parties that you'll never see most of these people again.

HELisforHEL November 7, 2012 at 1:38 pm

"These tearful farewells are really getting to me — it's like when you realize after the high school graduation parties that you'll happily never see most of these people again."

/fixed

elgin_pelican November 7, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Or that you'll see them again when you're at the second window picking up your McRib.

nounverb911 November 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

OT: Are we running out of people to make fun of?

Disassembly November 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Don't worry, we're going to outsource our targets of mockery to China. They must have some bozos over there.

nounverb911 November 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

米特•罗姆尼(Mitt Romney)宣布,他将购买通用汽车的所有作业和运输到中国.

Toomush_Infer November 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Oh, I'm pretty sure the teabag isn't empty yet – and there's always Boner and the Turtle…

smokefilledroommate November 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

♪♫ B-B-B-Boner and the Turtle ♫♪

Monsieur_Grumpe November 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Nothing to worry about my friend.
http://www.startribune.com/politics/national/1775

DemmeFatale November 7, 2012 at 3:15 pm

That dress really brings out the green in her hair.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

"… she [Bachman] sought to cultivate a nonpartisan image with voters by pointing to the singular achievement of her three terms in the U.S. House: spearheading legislation to approve a new freeway-style bridge over the St. Croix River near Stillwater."

Three fucking terms, one lousy bridge, and they re-elect her? This is a distrct that truly believes in little or no government.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

We'll always have Steve King.

SorosBot November 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

We've still got crazy-eyes Michele; and the Brazilians.

fuflans November 7, 2012 at 3:17 pm

joe barton and sen. paul are still around right?

ElPinche November 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Good lord…its Sharron Angle in drag.

ManchuCandidate November 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

The Face That Launched A Thousand Recall Votes

elviouslyqueer November 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

and a big “I Heart NYC” gift bag full of tears delicious, deep-fried rat dicks for Janice Daniels.

There. FTFY, Blair. XOXO

edgydrifter November 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Call me skullist, but I make it a rule to not vote for people with anvil-shaped heads.

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

She picked that outfit up at a Baylon 5 surplus sale, right?

BadKitty904 November 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The Ministry of Peace has obviously promoted her to the rank of "colonel" in the Nightwatch.

ElPinche November 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

LOL

AngryBlakGuy November 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

…nah, that definitely has Romulin retro look to it

Studebaker Hawk November 7, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I can't tell–which of the Kids in the Hall is that?

fatbob54 November 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm
Antispandex November 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"…because Troy is supposed to be known for its fancy mall, not an insane mayor."

Well, that's really a bad attitude. At least they were known for SOMETHING. An insane mayor will not put you on the map, it's true, what with all of the other insane mayors, but it's a start.

LesBontemps November 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Her hairdresser has a lot to answer for.

Toomush_Infer November 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Well, um, not being gay is probably one thing…

Callyson November 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Shh, don't blow the stylists cover. I've already said too much.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 7, 2012 at 5:52 pm

That alone should convince her that gays are good to have around.

CrunchyKnee November 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

That dude from Spinal Tap sure did age poorly.

smokefilledroommate November 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Why does she remind me of Tom Hulce?

Dr_Zoidberg November 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm

So long, loser! Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

FakaktaSouth November 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I will mourn this "lady" the same way I am Allen "RECOUNT RECOUNT" West, Murdock and Akin, (damn you Michele Bachman) by laughing hysterically and being grateful for sanity where I can find it.

prommie November 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Never forget Not Joe the Not Congressman Not Plumber.

CogitoErgoBibo November 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Trojan mayors: Pleasure you want. Protection you trust.

Or not.

smokefilledroommate November 7, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Does her head have a reservoir tip?

LesBontemps November 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

It's ribbed for her pleasure.

widestanceromance November 7, 2012 at 2:16 pm

LO-frickin'L

BadKitty904 November 7, 2012 at 1:34 pm

No, seriously. That's a guy, right?

HateMachine November 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

It's okay, she can get a job as Quaker Oats' new logo model.

Mittaplasia November 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I had a Meg Whitman avatar as the Quaker Oats, er, person.

Blueb4sinrise November 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I'm feeling so good today, I'd fuck her crazy, bigoted tears away.

BornInATrailer November 7, 2012 at 1:50 pm

You are a trooper.

Not_So_Much November 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I hope she has the good form to have an illicit affair on her way out of the office.

Lascauxcaveman November 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Sort of OT, but FOX News was on one of the three TVs I set up for my election night party. It's seems I missed all the best parts, but Salon has a nice recap of conservative butthurt that I didn't catch.

Worth a click.

MissTaken November 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Hehe!

Just talked to my parents who are in shitstain Dan Lungren's district (he's down 200 votes right now!) and my mom said she watched Fox last night for the lulz. She said watching the Rove meltdown was glorious. I guess he got the boot from the set once Mitt ceded. Lovely!

SorosBot November 7, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Fox last night was a lot of fun; they were all so sad, it was schadenfreude-errific. Almost as fun as looking at all the depressed white faces at Romney headquarters.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 7, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Don't miss their Drudge Report timeline. It's pretty funny to see the headlines (d)evolve as the night wears on and reality sinks it's teeth into Drudge's fat ass (and knocks his dopey hat askew.)

Callyson November 7, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Unfortunately, a lot of feelings have been hurt on both sides

So both of her cheeks are butt hurt. Got it.

ElPinche November 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Janice Daniels looks like she's was straight & gay bashed with an ugly stick.

mrblifil November 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

If anything involving Trojans is ever too tight, it's time to start contemplating Magnums.

SayItWithWookies November 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

It's like this election is the Chicxulub Meteor of homophobia, virulent "family values" advocates, theocrats and faith-based policies everywhere. In reality, just like the real K-T boundary, the end didn't come in one fell swoop but carried on for years before and after — but this really feels like the point at which social evolution gained a fatal momentum for the poor diplodoci and tricertatopsians and such. The rise of the voles is well and truly on.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm

If only. The problem with fundies is that they never learn, and they never shut the fuck up, because religion.

weejee November 7, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Where is/are the Trojan whores?

/ I'm sorry, that was too easy, but then I have no shame when it comes to puns

NorthStarSpanx November 7, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Wiggy Mayors, State reps and senators, governors, they come in all shapes and parties. My small town ex-Mayor kept showing up at public events to try and mark the occasion with her crazy private citizen words.

Wasilla even tried to take Sarah Palin's coronation back but lost. Probably because they didn't have Facebook or Twitter back then.

Joshua Norton November 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Good bye, Janice Daniels!

And 100mg Prozac STAT.

smokefilledroommate November 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

J-A-N-I-C-E goes into the anus to rupture intestines..

BornInATrailer November 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

She looks like Connie on Brickleberry.

Baconzgood November 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Has america turned a corner? Is not being bat shit crazy the new norm? I hope so.

Joshua Norton November 7, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Oy, that picture!!! It burns my eyes!! It looks like someone went in drag as Betty Crocker last Hallowe'en.

BadKitty904 November 7, 2012 at 1:52 pm

*Evil* Betty Crocker…

Joshua Norton November 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Or this dude:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1168/1030092712_2d

from the "Little Britain" BBC show.

prommie November 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Looks like Captain Crunch, sans hat, to me.

LibrarianX November 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I thought it was Bruce Vilanche.

RedneckMuslin November 7, 2012 at 1:51 pm

"There once was a pervert named Weiner
Who had a perverted demeanor
Forced from the Hill
For acting like Bill
Now Congress is one weiner leaner"

I hate her for saying it but I still think it's funny.

BornInATrailer November 7, 2012 at 1:54 pm

If Samwise Gamgee grew up as a sexually confused Prince fan.

MinAgain November 7, 2012 at 1:57 pm

That haircut was a mistake. So it matches her mayorship.

LibrarianX November 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Is her hair an expression of her personality?

Maman November 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Oh, crazy and fancy aren't mutually exclusive ask the residents of Rosemont, IL

Cleopatriot November 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

It's as if large parts of the country went sane all of a sudden.

Terry November 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I can shop at the fancy Troy mall, the Somerset Collection, once again without feeling guilt about being in that town.

cousinitt November 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Janice is now qualified to run for Mayor of Wasilla and then who knows, maybe even the White House!

mavenmaven November 7, 2012 at 2:15 pm

needs moar meth

LibrarianX November 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm

This is what happens when you go to straight hairdressers.

actor212 November 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I can't believe I'll be in first with this:

Was this the face that launched a thousand shits?

fuflans November 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm

to be fair, not everyone immediately thinks of the ex mayor of troy MI and christopher marlowe in the same time.

ChrisM2011 November 7, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Little Boy Blue called. He wants his hair back.

Mittaplasia November 7, 2012 at 2:54 pm

That hair "don't" didn't work for Smeg Shytman, either.

cybermoe November 7, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I don't like her hair.

Halloween Jack November 7, 2012 at 3:54 pm

If I had to make up a story about the person in that picture, it would go something like this:

She's that one person in the church choir that shows up to every single practice and every single Sunday service, without fail, and always has that exact same expression on her face, every single time you see her. You never see her talking to anyone else, though, or any other choir member talking to her. You're new to the choir yourself, and although other choristers are polite and cordial to you, you don't feel particularly close to any of them.

At the choir Christmas party, which is a few days before Christmas midnight mass, you finally get up the nerve to talk to her, and walk up to her and say hi. She doesn't even say hi back, just looks at you with the same damn expression and says, "Every Christmas Jesus puts a baby in me, and every Easter He takes it back."

Despite your deep desire to run screaming out of there and never return to that church again, you show up to midnight mass, and after the last chorus of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" has died away, the lead baritone walks up to you, and says, "Saw you talking to Janice at the party, and of course we all know what she said to you–same thing she says to everyone–and yet you came back." He gives you a bone-crushing hug. "Welcome to the choir."

ttommyunger November 7, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Did not know John Denver had a kid. Who's the mom, Captain Kangaroo?

Negropolis November 8, 2012 at 12:17 am

My only regret is that this thing was so close (52/48), which is the margin she won her original race by. But, a win is a win, and Mayor Haircut is gone. Bless her heart, she won't be getting off at Exit 69 to take a ride on Big Beaver, anymore.

BTW, read all of your comments, and I laughed the entire way through the thread. Thanks for the fun, you guys. Troy can truly get back to be normal and ridding itself of the tea party.

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