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Will Barack Obama Accept The Presidency? Live-Bloog Part A Zillion

BUY THIS MAN A T-TOPHey, so there have been 97 live-bloog posts tonight, but this is almost certainly the last one, unless there is a Ron Paul coup, which we will certainly live-blog until the internet goes out because the FCC gets exploded.

So, barring that, we are just sitting here waiting for the president to show up and throw down some crazy Kenyan slang, on account of he never has to run for office again, and finally has that “flexibility” he was telling the Russians about, to just… to just be himself.

1:18 a.m.: John King is still playing with his superwall. President is nowhere to be found. Bachmann’s race in Minnesota is still separated by like seven votes, and the Floridians have somehow forgotten to count the last 2.6 percent of the votes for Allen West’s seat. Who are we forgetting about? And where is Barry?

1:23 a.m.: Mitt Romney just burrowed into his giant pile of unreleased tax returns, where he will stay until spring.

1:26 a.m.: Josh points out Obama HQ is playing “Time For Me To Fly” by REO Speedwagon.

Is this an omen of things to come?

You said we’d work it out
You said that you had no doubt that deep down we were really in love
Oh, but I’m tired of holding on to a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I’ve had enough
I’ve had enough of the falseness of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy and the intoleration
Oh, I make you laugh and you make me cry
I believe it’s time for me to fly


1:30 a.m.: The tunes have switched to the Boss! But alas, it is from Wrecking Ball. Might as well have pulled a song from Lucky Town. Come on, dudes.

1:34 a.m.: HA! Remember this?
We should still take him seriously, right?

1:35 a.m.: THERE HE IS! The witch doctor is in the building!

1:36 a.m.: The guy comes in to Stevie Wonder. He should just wave and play the song through, then walk off the stage, go home and slide around in his underwear and socks.

1:38 a.m.: The moment of truth! We find out if he really actually talks like that!


1:38 a.m., still: “The task of perfecting our union moves forward.” With… socialism… right?

1:39 a.m.: “While our road has been hard, while our journey has been low, we have picked ourselves up.” Dude is summarizing Cormac McCarthy books. Wonder when he’ll move on to Outer Dark?

1:40 a.m.: Obama wants to fix long voting lines! HOPE! CHANGE! GETTING TO WORK ON TIME!

1:41 a.m.: “Whether you held an Obama sign or a Romney sign, you made your voice heard.” Gary Johnson signs: You were lame.

1:42 a.m.: Josh F.: haha people are going FUCKING NUTS for joe biden

1:43 a.m.: Overheard from the in-house peanut gallery: “Obama getting laid tonight.”

1:44 a.m.: To his daughters: “One dog’s probably enough.”

He’s cracking dad jokes. He’s cracking dad jokes while Romney weeps into his apple cider.

Now he’s talking about “every hill and every valley.” This is a carnival of rhetorism.

1:46 a.m.: Good news! Dok discovers Breitbart has decided on the new conservative hashtag: #War.

We will not heel. We will not stop. The defeat of Barack Obama would have launched the beginning of America coming together. But apparently, liberal America prefers to battle for the soul of the country.

And so we battle.

Heavens! Yes, let us double-down, because “the only victories the Republican Party can point to since 2008 are Tea Party victories,” and tea partiers defeating sane people in primaries than losing in general elections is just… how it goes, you know?

1:48 a.m.: “A generous America,” eh? There it is. There’s the socialism.

1:50 a.m.: Obama ready to “focus on your jobs, not ours,” which means less now that he’s done applying for jobs. But still! Sweet. He’s sweet.

1:53 a.m.: Ohhhh shit. Obama’s doing his “talk over the applause” move. This move slays them.

Dok Z. “Has anyone checked to see if Andrew Sullivan is still breathing, by the way?”

Josh F. he’s waterboarding himself

1:54 a.m.: Obama references the Jersey shore, and “leaders from every party” coming together. Did Chris Christie really just get a shout-out in the president’s victory speech? What happened up there?

1:57 a.m.: Dok reports, “OK, dammit Barry, you hit the goose-bumps trigger, ya Hopey bastard.” We suspect he too was slain by the “talking over the applause” move.

1:57 a.m.: Josh F.: rich i think you need to acknowledge that there is a lady bheind barry with a small american flag stuck in her hair

Josh F.: she is this campaigns greatest hero

1:58 a.m.: Dok Z.: Did President Bartlett help him with this?

Josh F.: “haha, i was waiting until now to give a speech that awesome just for kicks”

1:59 a.m.: That bit about “not just a collection of red states and blue states”! THAT BIT!
Josh F.: oooh callback to his ’04 DNC speech!

2:00 a.m.: And with that, the president departs the podium, to “We Take Care Of Our Own,” the sweetest product placement deal of 2012, as the confetti falls.

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  1. Steverino247

    Congratulations, Mr. President! Happy to be of help. Give Michelle and the kids a big hug.

    Then hammer those bastards blocking your agenda first thing in the morning.

      1. Bonzos_Bed_Time

        Gay Muslin Atheist Kenyan Marxist Communist Radical Christian Nazi who sholdnta' got into college overlord.

        Whew, I feel inspired!

          1. BerkeleyBear

            Community Organizer Radical Egalitarianism Christian, not Bible Thumping Snake Handling Radical Capitalism Christian, so not a good thing.

          2. BerkeleyBear

            Easy mistake to make. Sorta like how you can easily confuse TP activist and cosplay enthusiasts and the mentally ill.

          3. redarmyzombie

            Me: "Hey, I never knew so many old people were fans of Le Chevalier D'Eon!"

            Friend: "Um, *whisper, whisper*"

            Me: "…Oh."

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      Fuck. Too bad.

      The rest of the news is pretty much awesome. And I have a new reason to go visit my family in Colorado…

      1. cousinitt

        I've already got like three "medical" pot palaces within a mile of me in Denver. And now, I'm supposed to buy it without fibbing about my lumbago with a $75 "doctor's" script?

        Cheech and Chong for the WIN!

        1. BerkeleyBear

          Good luck finding a supplier. The DEA is gonna bust the shit out of sellers, no matter what the law says about end users. Which sucks, but that's the law on the books.

          Still – I'm thinking about smoking in public in Vancouver Washington, just over the border from Oregon, if I can find a supply. Somehow that would be so cool to me – which labels me as the nerd/narc who will get you busted.

  2. Barbara_

    Sure, why not? I am fueled by beer and 75% off discounted stale Halloween candy.
    Where the fuck is Rebecca?

        1. BerkeleyBear

          Me too. But at least (soon to be ex, despite my wishes) wife and I talked for 15 minutes without screaming – which is a record for the last 6 months.

          1. redarmyzombie

            I'm sorry to hear about that, Berkeley. I know there's not much to say about that, but hopefully things get better one way or another.

          2. BerkeleyBear

            Ahh, she's great and I love her and my kids. My life in many ways is awesome, it will be okay and in the long run is probably for the best for all concerned (subject to how we handle certain things). Still, appreciate the sentiment.

          3. redarmyzombie

            Heh, I just noticed you have stalkers too. "One Term Barry" is gonna have to change his name!

    1. Callyson

      Sierra Nevada pale ale for me tonight. No Halloween candy, but now I have a craving for some almonds, brb…

  3. BloviateMe

    More old white people are going to die in the next 4 years…when can we own the house too??????

      1. Callyson

        Oh Christ, that reminds me of yet another reason to be grateful for this–the fucking Supreme Court!

        Thank you for making me even more happy :-)

      2. BerkeleyBear

        Yep. Scalia + Thomas + 4 more years of impotent rage = first gay Asian Supreme Court Justice and first female black Supreme Court Justice (hopefully named something like LaShonda just for shits and giggles). And maybe Roberts coming out of the closet or Kennedy leaving out of boredom.

        I shit you not, I could see 4 appointments – 2 from the current right seats and 2 from Ginsburg and Breyer deciding to get out before a GOP admin has the chance to replace them.

      1. BloviateMe

        I can tell you are a hepcat upstart with your crazy newfangled slang "bucko." It's all the rage with the youngsters these days.

      1. bobbert

        Channeling Chet (because he's right): We gotta maintain a steady attack on the House and Senate, and keep up voter participation in off-year elections.

  4. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Obviously these election results mean that the republicans must move farther to the right.

      1. redarmyzombie

        Say, MittBorg, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me!

        (you'll prolly have to change your name again, though…)

  5. thatsitfortheother1

    This bodes well for the highest court in the land. Fat Republicans are gonna have some new Democratic pals.

  6. BadKitty904

    OK, Wonklings, time for this kitty to curl up next to the Big Cat. Thank you all for working so hard to produce such a happy night for us all to share…

    Joy be with you all! :0)

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Nah, the ones who love Nate always had his back. The rest of the assholes will either act like they never spoke (Morning Joe will eat a back of lightly salted rat dicks on air before he admits he was clueless) or will heap praise on the other quants who don't get as much publicity (who are also awesome, but don't have the media profile of Silver and therefore are the hipster indy bands of electoral analysis).

        I almost got in a fight Monday night over this with a member of my co-hort in the PhD program. She kept repeating that "the people who know" say this was going to be razor thin/2000 Florida recount. I kept trying to tell her the quants all agree it wasn't close, but even someone with that much education and intellect just couldn't get over it.

  7. sbj1964

    Ladies,and gentlemen the President of the UNITED STATES.Take a bow! No don't bow!The conservatards will dog you.High Five everybody,and grab your crotch!

  8. vulpes82

    Good God, SPEECH ALREADY! Also, GET IT TOGETHER, NEVADA, VIRGINIA, AND FLORIDA! Papa needs some sleep! I got work!

  9. FakaktaSouth

    I am so happy to have PresO, but I gotta admit, sometimes it is all about MICHELLE! And ALWAYS OHJOE!!!! I am just beside myself. Tomorrow I'ma be soooo bitchy tired, but NOTHING like…if the, you know that terrible thing that I will never even mention had happened. (Annnnnnn…I am haunted by the fish/eagle shirt forever)

        1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

          With our new pot laws and only 48% of likely voters as bigoted homophobes WA should probably be on your relocation list.

          PS – most of that 48% is on the dry side of the mountains and we never go over there except to see a concert at the gorge.

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      Yeah, that fucking ugly shirt was a poke in the eye. Fuck her (never to be seen again).

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I've already gotten Christmas and birthday presents tonight in Bamz and the Senate races. Getting rid of Crazy Shelly might make me lose it/start believing in a compassionate God.

        1. BerkeleyBear

          You think he wants to go back to being a powerless hack (even as a committee chair)? I'm guessing enough smoke has been blown up his ass that he's out of there in 6 months or less.

          1. bobbert

            I'm afraid that being Budget Committee Chair will continue to be quite a good gig for him. It's what made him the Veep nominee, after all.

            What we might hope for is that his higher visibility as loser-veep will lead to more people pointing and laughing at his bullshit budget proposals, but I'm afraid that he'll go back to being the "smart one" because of insufficient attention.

          2. BerkeleyBear

            Well there's that – and with the brilliant luminary of Mike Pence now running Indiana (shudder) even less competition.

  10. mbatch

    Okay, George Stephanoupalos (whatever) just said this would be the last election in which "two white guys" ran against each other. So he hasn't noticed that O is blah up to now?

  11. snowpointsecret

    Am I the only one thinking "holy crap Malia is cute tonight" over here? That dress is amazing.

  12. FakaktaSouth

    Oh my god, there they are, the most beautiful first family I have ever ever seen. Love love love

    1. tessiee

      One of the few families in which "she takes after her father" is an actual compliment, rather than a vaguely horrifying euphemism.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Did you notice Sasha pulling on her Dad's sleeve and telling him to turn around and wave to the people behind the stage? Guess who's the next politician out of that family?!

  13. Not_Mother

    NBC calls Florida's 18th – AllenWest LOSES to Democrat Patrick Murphy. Adi-fucking-os motherfucker.

    1. ManchuCandidate

      In most other nations, a man as awful as Dick Morris would be laughed off the set.

      Only in US Amercia.

      However, it is great to point a finger and laugh at someone who got it so so so so wrong.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I just said I hope my daughter is as adorable as they are when she's a teenager – they are truly lovely girls.

    2. Callyson

      I am so happy that they got to see their father overcome the ridiculous amount of adversity he has had to deal with. Can't wait to see what paths they pursue when they grow up…

    1. Fairtackle

      Ugh, stop it , please, REO Speedwagon causes me physical pain.

      You youngsters think this is all "funny and "ironic" but I had to live through this in junior high and you may think you know suffering, well I can tell you a thing or two about suffering …

  14. arihaya

    Now that Mitt Romney is no longer running for presidency, he can spend more time with his family baptizing dead Jews.

  15. FakaktaSouth

    OHJOE! The happy warrior indeed.
    I have never been more in love with you either Michelle. Good lord I need to go to bed already, I am losing it.

    1. redarmyzombie

      Death To America, of course! What self-respecting Muslin Nazi Communist would choose otherwise?!

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Every time I think I'm being taken for granted, he throws me a big ol' shout out in a speech and I come running back again.

  16. BerkeleyBear

    Just did the happy dance to Stevie W. Was so thrilled when the total came down (I was at Dem Party of Oregon reception – kinda lame but still neat to be with other Dems on election night) but I was even happier that I got to high five my daughter over the win before she went to bed (she's 7, so still a lightweight).

    Now I just hope the damn electorate realizes how much fighting remains. 2014 – Take Back the House, Bitches!

  17. Callyson

    He looks younger than he did a month ago–must be the relief of stress. I hope that works for me too…

  18. BoroPrimorac

    Obama won the female vote because he appreciates women. Republicans, in contrast, think that women are parasites who want the government to take care of them.

  19. BerkeleyBear

    Just did the happy dance to Stevie W. Was so thrilled when the total came down (I was at Dem Party of Oregon reception – kinda lame but still neat to be with other Dems on election night) but I was even happier that I got to high five my daughter over the win before she went to bed (she's 7, so still a lightweight).

  20. C_R_Eature

    Barry actually just mentioned "the destructive power of a warming planet"

    Better late than never.

    1. cheetojeebus

      did you see that story on Bloomburg newz about romney's mormon trust? It basically explains a bunch of shit i don't quite follow but he used it to avoid taxes without giving the church anything. They dropped it on Monday.

  21. FakaktaSouth

    I swear I am listening respectfully, but what is with that lady, the one who looks like a young Oprah Winfrey? Why has someone impaled her head with a flag? Does she KNOW she's standing behind the President? Straighten that out young Oprah, you are killing me.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Just cut to Lemon Face Girl in the front row. Why you pissed, girl? Because you know Bamz won't drop Michelle for you? What were you thinking?

      2. FakaktaSouth

        She's cute in a Larry's wife on curb your enthusiasm way. Sweaty guy over impaled oprah is also making me laugh. He looks like he's been in Colorado, um, voting it up.

    1. FlipFlopFuck

      The worst two term president ever!
      A complete failure. The most radical leftist administration in our history.

    1. bobbert

      Well, that's kind of disappointing, but I guess I'll just have to settle for a little more hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, and hope.

  22. VodkaGoGo

    I can't keep up with the volume of posts tonight. Thank you Wonkette editors, you've done a heckuva job tonight.

    1. bobbert

      Really, what a trouper, to voluntarily undertake dealing with another four years of mindless obstructionism.

  23. cousinitt

    Obama allusion to JFK. He his really laying out what it means to be a Democrat and an American. Wow. I can only imagine (in horror) what a Romney acceptance speech would have sounded like.

    1. tessiee

      [a la "Peanuts"]
      Womp womp womp God… womp womp faith… womp womp family… womp womp strong American values… womp womp womp faith… womp womp bring jobs back… womp womp Paul Ryan… womp womp my womply wife Ann and our womp million children and grandchildren…

  24. Callyson

    Aw, my tears of joy have turned into sobs of joy, but now my dogs are concerned. Have to reassure them, BRB…

  25. SexySmurf

    Dok discovers Breitbart has decided on the new conservative hashtag: #War.

    Bring it on! Do those fat fucks know that actual war (not Call of Duty war) requires standing and running and leaving the house?

    1. redarmyzombie

      Their Hoverounds versus my Tai Chi*!

      *Don't laugh. My instructor went in for a double hip replacement, and 3 weeks later was out teaching again and doing demos at conventions…

  26. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Somewhere, Sean Hannity is weeping. KLo is being talked down from a ledge. Glenn Beck is filling chalk board after chalk board with secrete glyphs only he and the shoggoths understand. Rush Limbaugh is looking for solace in the arms of a 14 year old Dominican.

    Today is a good day.

  27. Callyson

    JESUS, Obama is on fire! Now, please, Mr President, channel this energy during your second term…

  28. tessiee

    OK, I didn't share this before because I didn't want to jinx anything, but:
    I've been a complete nervous wreck for weeks over the possibility that this election might have gone wrong, less because I vehemently loathed Romney (although I do) than because if he'd won, it would have been because the corporations stole the election while the people who could have stopped it stood by and did nothing.

    So, I've been doing those things like: "OK, if I make the green light, that means Obama is going to win". And a few days ago, I said "the next song that comes on the radio will tell me whether Obama is going to win". I turned on the radio in the middle of the song "Dock of the Bay" by noted blah person Otis Redding, just at the part where he sang: "Looks like nothing's gonna change; everything still remains the same".

    1. C_R_Eature

      It 's a psychological coping mechanism for people under lots of stress. I understand completely. There's a very good reason why Sailors have the most widely varied and rigid set of superstitions of anyone.

      1. tessiee

        You guys are all so nice.

        It's been a tough few weeks for me, for a lot of reasons, but I couldn't admit it, even to myself, because if I did, I wouldn't have been able to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

        But my family and friends on the East Coast are OK, and democracy hasn't been crushed yet, so that's two good things. And you guys, that's three.

    2. fuflans

      hahahaha i've been doing that shit too. i convinced myself even if i didn't make those 7 calls it would still be ok.

      and of course i totally made those 7 calls.

    3. bobbert

      Well, life is not immediately going to be a bed of roses, but there is just a chance that this election represents an inflection point in US politics. There are no real comparisons. We just managed to re-elect a President during a still-pretty-shitty economy, without any big war-mongering adrenalin boost, who also happens to be half-black. And we did this because he is — while center-right — a far more credible leader than his opponent, even though his opponent was, arguably, a more plausible candidate than his previous opponent.

      Electing the better-qualified black guy TWICE offers tenuous support for the proposition that the US electorate may have achieved self-awareness. We'll have to see how it goes.

      As for your superstitions, they're probably more benign than my old-guy fantasies about who, if it came to that, I could take out.

    4. DCBloom

      I have a pair of earrings with the Obama rising sun symbol. I wore them all last week for luck. So yeah, you were not alone.

    5. Mumbletypeg

      Aw that Otis I have a soft spot for. The song you mention is what I read, somewheres, was the "Top Ten #1 hit" at The Time I Was Born. Which would lead the superstitious in me to endow that tune with "extra significance" and/or derive meaning from it perhaps beyond what is warranted… Still there's more than enough "warranting" our collective trepidation as fraudulence and tampering and underhanded shyjinks threatened to undermine what we knew should be the outcome: Let the best man win!

  29. SayItWithWookies

    That was awesome. Not only did he talk about how unified we all are despite our differences, but he elucidated the specifics about why our aspirations drive us on and how he keeps trying to make this a better country for everyone. I'm so glad he's my shitkicker-in-chief for four more years.

    1. emmelemm


      Given the really unpleasant last four years, it would be so satisfying to say, "Fuck all of you, we're steamrolling you now". But this is still the United States, and it's right for our leader to take the high road and remind us of that.

      1. BloviateMe

        'tis why he's a better man than me, and why I was happy voting for him. His patience/tolerance astounds me.

  30. SheriffRoscoe

    Commenters over at FreeRepublic are talking all crazy, they want to start a civil war. I'd love to troll them, but they banned me from commenting a long time ago. Banned me hard. And deep.

    1. redarmyzombie

      And my hat's off to you, sir. I could never, ever bring myself through that horrid, fetid cesspool…

        1. redarmyzombie

          Eh, probably, but I already have a number of Right Wing Nutjobs stalking me as it is (for whatever reason)…

    2. Callyson

      The few trolls who are still posting on HuffyPo are completely off the rails. Someone call the people in the white jackets, before they hurt themselves…

  31. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And with that, FOX News ends its broadcasting day.

    But what fiendish plans will they get up to next time?

    Tune in tomorrow and see,

    Same Bat-Shit Crazy Channel

    Same Bat-Shit Crazy Time.

  32. C_R_Eature

    That speech was a genuine barn-burner. The speech of someone who's got big plans and expectations. I think we're in for a lot of good works in the coming years.

    Bruce Springsteen soundtrack: "We Take Care of Our Own" We really have to.

    1. tessiee

      I think the entire Republican party got laid last night — with votes — if you know what I mean.

  33. VodkaGoGo

    I'm calling it now, Sasha Obama in 2040.

    And with that, I'm off to bed because Ive been up for two days and I'm starting to hallucinate. Goodnight wonkers.

  34. ProgressiveInga

    Gays won! Poors won! Vaginas won!

    Now, when does Ruth Bader Ginsberg submit her resignation?

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I'm guessing Jan 21, 2013 or thereabouts. She's been holding on despite terrible health issues.

  35. sbj1964

    Obama 303 EV's Mittens and his red state dumb asses 202 EV's and Fla still hanging.Suck on that Conservatards!

  36. FakaktaSouth

    Welp, I stayed up for a reason, Chris Matthews saying he didn't want any more "dicking around" may just be the best way to sign off ever. Thanks, Tweety, that was hilarious, and NO MORE DICKING AROUND. For reals.

  37. SheriffRoscoe

    Hey guys, I fear that I'm feeding…FEEDING off the anger and outrage of my conservative friends and acquaintances on facebook. Does that make me a bad person?

    1. bobbert

      Well, are you responding by trolling them? Are you stirring their anger and outrage into a volcano of terror and blargldsldklkjsdalkaj?

      If not, why not?

    2. glamourdammerung

      Hey guys, I fear that I'm feeding…FEEDING off the anger and outrage of my conservative friends and acquaintances on facebook.

      They built that.

    3. HarryButtle

      Mine all seemed to have found something better to do than post on Facebook by the time Barry took the stage.

  38. BerkeleyBear

    Virginia is for lovers (and Barack Obama and Nate Silver – who Rachel just gave gay platonic love to).

    1. Callyson

      I spent a little time in Newport News (near Norfolk, considered a swing region) and I remember thinking "these people are mostly nice, why the hell do they vote Republican?" Looks like they asked themselves the same question…

  39. fuflans

    so…just at a guess i'm predicting the next four are going to be a lot different.



    1. BerkeleyBear

      Ehh, Daily Show/Colbert picking up on the stupidity of horse race coverage (and the absurd "razor tight" language) made it okay for me – and the fact that all the quants (Silver, Sam Wang at Princeton and the guys at Votamatic) called it the same helped. But yeah, Chuck Toad taking so damn long to call Ohio (and refusing to call NV or VA until it didn't matter) sucked.

    2. Chet Kincaid_

      The next four years are going to be exactly the same. We kept Obama to make sure it's not a hell of a lot worse. If we wanted the next 4 years to be different, we shouldn't have given up the House in 2010 without a fight.

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          We could have not made the mistake in 2010. We could have tried to rectify the mistake this year. I see no reason to believe it's going to be a priority in 2014, right when Obama becomes a lame duck.

          1. redarmyzombie

            Hm, I disagree. Yes, we did get a little too comfy 2 years back, but I think we did a little better today, and I think we'll do better next time. Republicans had their chance to prove their worth, and they totally blew it.

      1. bobbert

        Ah, there you are. I've been trying to channel you in a few places, but I'm no proper substitute.

        Given our Constitutionally-mandated governmental system, what matters is parties, not individuals. If the Democratic Party actually gives a shit about governing the country, it will start campaigning tomorrow with an eye to regaining the House in 2014.

        I don't think there was a lot to be done about 2010. This was an unprecedented backlash against the black guy, in a low-turnout year. I'm not sure how you stir people up about something that has never happened before. Now, what the party should do is make that an object lesson for 2014. Vigorously, and repetitiously.

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          The one thing I agree with in Tweety's post-speech rant last night is that Obama has never bothered to use his coattails to pull Democrats into Congress with him. He could have this year, but didn't. Why?? Everything he has accomplished has been the result of having the House in 2008! There's going to be no magical healthcare, auto bailout, Lilly Ledbetter anymore, people, just 4 more years of the debt ceiling debacle over and over.

        2. Chet Kincaid_

          "I'm not sure how you stir people up about something that has never happened before."

          You saw how many people Jon Stewart got to show up on the fucking Washington Mall to watch his silly pageant, 3 days before the 2010 election? And then he wasted the opportunity to tell them to fucking vote, instead feeding his own ego with his it's-so-awful-both-sides-do-it sermon? Even Bill Maher called that shit. There was a LOT that could have been done.

      1. Callyson

        Understood–we're only at 51.4% now. But Prop 30 is now (though barely) ahead…(biting nails, making pot of coffee, expecting to be utterly unproductive tomorrow…)

    1. Callyson


      Dammit, now I have to calm my dogs down yet again–they get freaked out every time I yell that out. Poor things have been traumatized tonight…

    2. Chet Kincaid_

      How freeing! Now he can bark at the moon, sniff around for Muslim treason and stalk Debbie Wasserman-Schultz full-time, without any bothersome official duties to worry about!

  40. Not_Mother

    Just when you think it can't get better… Stop the presses: NBC now projecting Bachmann to lose

      1. Not_Mother

        Still not finished. Now they have her leading by about 1400+ votes w/ 86% counted. Only call of the night that might go the other way from what they originally called.

  41. just_a_head

    This psychotic, years-long horse ride of an election ends beautifully.

    Won and done. Thank christ.

  42. Fairtackle

    Maybe the Repubes will realize they need to move more to the middle and force the Dems to move more to the left …

    Okay I am drunk and happy but it could happen …

  43. BerkeleyBear

    Okay, I'm a little buzzed on all of it. To the point where I got my West Wing boxed set out and I'm about to go full Jed Bartlett on this place.

    1. viennawoods13

      There are times when only Josh and CJ and Toby will do. I just finished all 7 seasons a month ago, so probably too soon for me, but I keep flashing back.

  44. Caveat_Echinos

    Please, I am begging you, don't ever link to breitbart again. I followed the link hours ago and just now returned, my soul barely intact. Dear God, the things I've seen.

    1. BloviateMe

      My condolences…I went to WND for the lulz, but damn…it's weird they share the same DNA as us.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I checked out The Corner and Red State. Red State is doing a lame "We must continue the fight!" thing, while NRO is more "They are all so stupid. Why won't the listen to us? We should have ran a real Conservative" thing.

  45. mustangsavvy

    I liked it when NBC called Ohio and the election for Bamz, they cut to Obama HQ and we hear "HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW (motherfuckers)???" blaring over the speakers. BLESS.

    Ok seriously, good night Wonkers. I am tired and happy and relieved and happy and tired. Zzzzzzzzzz

    1. Misty Malarky

      Watching Doocy (or whoever that was) this AM looking like a deer in headlights while being forced to listen to the high pitched whine emitting from Dick Morris' pie hole: priceless.

  46. DrunkIrishman

    I drank. A lot. I'm gonna piss whiskey for a week. I also humped a chair and then yelled at a lamp.

  47. AznMom420

    I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and hear all the republicans talking about the fiscal cliff like nothing happened tonight. Its like watching 30% of the country take an ideological walk of shame.

    1. savethispatient

      The big revelation is that the miraculous art of "mathematics" has been proven to be true, and there is now no God, just a model created by Nate Silver.

  48. clblabin

    Only thing that could make me happier? Waking up tomorrow morning and seeing that Sandra Fluke just got elected Pope.

  49. Jukesgrrl

    Something tells me they already turned off the TV. I know the lights went out over at my Republican neighbor's house the minute Rmoney conceded.

  50. sudsmckenzie

    One 'L" will haunt you in your fucking dreams!

    … just kidding, after tonight who the fuck cares,

  51. redarmyzombie

    Well y'alls, I'd love to stay up and keep hitting refresh, but I'm tired.

    Catch you all for tomorrow's Right Wing Butthurtfest!

  52. bobbert

    Okay, bitches, it's 2:30 on the Left Coast and I'ma collapse now.

    All in all, pretty good. Ragnarok has been put off for at least four years. There are hints that we might someday evolve into a rational society. And I'm fairly well fucked up. All in all, not a bad election night. Cheers.

  53. oldedinvn

    Ever furruner here in Hanoi & even some of them VN peoples congratulated me & umerica on the O win.
    Ah, it is great to hear unstupid people.

  54. Misty Malarky

    President Barack HUSSEIN Obama should show some mercy to those who supported Romney.

    1. Give 'em until Monday to turn in their guns and to trade their Bibles for Korans.

    2. With all the pot he'll force them to smoke they might even learn to enjoy their state enforced gay marriages.

    3. Although all government documents will be printed in Spanish and Eubonics only, English versions will be available to anyone with six or more punches on their Planned Parenthood card.


    Sorry – that last bit just slipped out.

  55. BaldarTFlagass

    Obama: "I congratulated Governor Romney on a hard-fought campaign. Then I said, 'Now, go get your fuckin' shine box.'"

  56. BaldarTFlagass

    Good morning everybody! Everybody still happy? I know there are going to be a lot of rended garments and gnashed teeth strewn along the highway down here in Texas today. Ha ha.

    1. cheetojeebus

      HA! Fun times! we need a poor losers live blog, pics and stories of shits who can't accept defeat….sort of a people of walmart thing.

  57. BlueStateLibel

    It's like Xmas morning, yeah! And Mitt Romney is now just a bunch of discarded cabling and circuit boards awaiting recycling at a New Brunswick, NJ, facility, never to trouble my dreams again.

    1. tessiee

      Gay black abortions performed by an atheist Lesbian under an endangered tree on an Indian reservation for all!
      Miniature American flags for some!

  58. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, we've still got Bachmann and Ryan in Congress, but looking at other results (president, gay marriage, Allen West, big Senate pickups, marijuana, etc etc) I'd have to say that I am very happy with the overall results of this election.

  59. cheetojeebus

    I'm makin' some pumpkin spice pancakes and having a big ol pot of coffee and reveling in the fuckin schadenfreude. Mmmm this is so fuckin sweet.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        I apparently carefully took down some artwork in the bathroom. I have no idea when I decided that I needed to do that.

    1. jodyleek

      Yay for the Big O!!! Minnesota state legislature is now Dem in both house and senate and the anti-gay and voter ID requirements were defeated. Yipee!!!

  60. valgal2342

    Yawn, stretch…..scratch…..sniffs the air……I love the smell of Electoral Napalm in the morning.

  61. DahBoner

    Waking up and realizing America did'nt turn the clock back 50 years: good.

    The looks on the faces of the mentally ill when they realize they will soon be sold into White Slavery: PRICELESS!!!

  62. freakishlywrong

    I am still drunk. And still thrilled HaHa bitches! Thank you Wonkateers for getting me through another shit sandwich.

  63. ttommyunger

    Had to use ear plugs last night. The wailing and gnashing of teeth in my neighborhood was keeping me up.

  64. tessiee

    Last night, you guys, he did it! He did it! We did it! We said that he would do it, And indeed he did. I thought that we would rue it; I doubted we'd do it. But now I must admit it That succeed we did.

    from "My Fair Lady", I changed it a little.

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