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DAVE ... I'M AFRAIDWell, here’s one tiny bit of good news for Mitt Romney: one of your Comics Curmudgeon’s Facebook friends who’s a designer for an events company says Mitt’s set is much nicer than Barack’s. So glad we get to look at it, while he talks about how he lost! Let’s watch him sputter out his last public speech we’ll ever have to care about. Live-blog-time!

12:47: Mitt’s motorcade appoacheth its destiny! WHEEE!!!

12:52: Mitt was classy and called Barack rather than conceding by writing on his Facebook wall. ABC reports that there is some desultory “Mitt, Mitt!” chanting at the hotel. Glad we didn’t get audio, it was probably the saddest thing ever.

12:53 Rich A.: 5 bucks Obama answered the phone “Sorry, who’s this?”

12:55: Here’s Mitt! They were drunk-singing “God Bless America” right before he came in.

12:56: Mitt wishes the President and his family well, and prays the president will be successful. What kind of Republican is he?

12:57: “Besides my wife Ann, Paul Ryan is the best choice I ever made.” HOTT


12:58: Haha, the Baltimore ABC affiliate literally just cut to a local car dealership ad in the middle of Mitt’s speech. Let’s try CBS?

12:58: Don’t know if it’s the audio, but it really sounds like there’s about 500 people in this room tops.

12:58: Mitt is now just asking teachers and ministers and job creators to do a good job at their thing, whatever it is. It’s … bland and nice but kind of weird? HMM.

12:59: “Paul and I have left everything on the field.” Ths is sexy too, right? Mitt wishes he had been able to “fulfill your hopes.”

1:00 HOLY SHIT AND NOW HE’S DONE! That … that was shockingly fast? And fairly classy? Huh.

1:01 Mitt now hugs each of his sons individually, this will take longer than the speech.

1:03: So, what do you all want to talk about? How about that Nate Silver, huh? If Florida goes to Barry as it looks like it might, he will have gotten every state exactly right.

1:05: OK, your other Wonketteers are blog-burned-out and so we are going to do Barry’s victory speech too! FUN! We shall disengage our mean spite mode.

1:06: Bob Schieffer on CBS says that Barry has no mandate because the popular vote is so close. Get used to hearing that over the next four years!

1:09: Whoops change of plan! Your Rich Abdill will be here in a minute live-blogging the victory speech because he loves victory. We hear Barry is still back at his hotel, enjoying a victory pack of Marlboro Reds. We’ll link to the new post when it’s ready!

1:12: This means something: CBS just ran an ad for a Christian dating website.

1:14: Statement from John Boehner: “America elected both us and the President and we need to find a way to work together.” Presumably this is an olive branch and the two will find a way to work together and find compromise for the betterment of the nation and hahahaha sorry we can’t even finish that sentence.

1:18: And now your Rich Abdill is ready to rock your world! Enjoy him transcribing whatever Obama reads off of his Muslim teleprompter, about sharia communism.

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