TALKING TO EMPTY CHAIRS  10:56 pm November 6, 2012

Why Are You Not Partying With Your Editirx In Glamorous Los Angeles, Right Now?

by Josh Fruhlinger

Will her friend Clint Eastwood show up? MAAAAYYYYYBEPEOPLE! We just heard from your Editrix, who is at her party at Busby’s East! This is at 5364 Wilshire Blvd., in Los Angeles, as if you don’t know. (323) 525-2615 is the phone number. Anyway she is “making new friends” which based on past antics might have wacky consequences. So go join her, for fun! She is the pretty one, above! Just show up and make an introduction! They’ll be fun! And we think there’s free beer? Don’t quote us on this. (Go ahead and quote us.) There will be no better place to be when Barry wins (or loses!) then with fellow Wonketteers. Do it!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 118 comments }

Barbara_ November 6, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Because you are with your "other family." *sniff*

slowhansolo November 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Because I'm partying in Pennsylvania with a sleepy cat?

zedbot November 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Now that's a hot boob sandwich! I wish I was there.

redarmyzombie November 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

If I actually were in LA, I'd totally be hitting you peoples up by now.

noodlesalad November 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Because I'm in Jakarta, partying with Obama's secret parents. Oops, I probably shouldn't have said that yet.

Edit: I actually am in Indonesia right now. People are happy.

glasspusher November 6, 2012 at 11:05 pm

So you're in tomorrow? Tell us what the future is like!

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 11:11 pm

I'm hoping for flying cars…

noodlesalad November 6, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Two words: Moon bases.

And, fortunately, Newt Gingrich has nothing to do with them.

sayprettyplease November 6, 2012 at 10:59 pm

No!!!

Lazy Media November 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Clint Eastwood's pecs, or GTFO.

weejee November 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Because you're not here with us in the NW, were it will soon be legal to have hookahs filled with weed at your gay marriage.

glasspusher November 6, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Might take the thrill out of it, then?

trampndirtdown November 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Weej weed will seriously fuck up your hookah,(too much resin) don't do it

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm

That was illegal? Damn, I would have waited a few days otherwise.

BarackMyWorld November 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I won't say something sexist (but complimentary) about Rebecca's anatomy (for once).

glasspusher November 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Yikes, did I use a forbidden word? Sorry…how about, what a wuss?

sbj1964 November 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Suck here in a Red State TN.It's a sad place tonight.I Love it !

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Every time I give an Az. update, there's a new thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why are you stifling FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDUUUUUUUU

FlipFlopFuck November 6, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Look out for the brown acid.

glasspusher November 6, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Picture yourself/ on a boat on a river…

lisawines November 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Wish I could be there to celebrate! And drink!

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

redarmyzombie November 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm
stew1 November 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Peggy Nooan is hitting the Chardonnay about now. Perhaps even the opium pipe.

Lucidamente1 November 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm

I thought at this point she'd be into the antifreeze.

stew1 November 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Hide her nightgown. Get it?

emmelemm November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Hemlock?

Joshua Norton November 6, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Could we PLEASE get back to how much Wolf Blitzer sucks?

Mumbletypeg November 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Among other things.

SexySmurf November 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Polls close in the Soviet of Warshington! Smoke 'em if you got them. And by "'em" I mean both blunts and gay penises cause they both now legal!!!

barto November 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Srsly did Clint show? I'm a jump on the Amtrak rite now!

weejee November 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm

8:02 & Washington & Calif in Bamz column. Learn how to count, Virginia and Florida.

bobbert November 6, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Well, we are kinda easy.

mosaickmind November 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Catching up on my DVR's…

memzilla November 6, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Pics of Clint wearing CommieGirl T-shirt or GTFO.

VeraSevera November 6, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Are there any cute guys there?

OzoneTom November 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Would sensitive, understanding guys do?

stew1 November 6, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Does he talk to those things like he does empty chairs?

Lucidamente1 November 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I think I speak for everyone here when I say that even when lit by underground parking garage fluorescents, our Editrix is way hawt.

SayItWithWookies November 6, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I may not be drinking with you, but I started earlier, so I'm a few drinks ahead, that's why. Also, I got to see George Allen concede again. I'd like to see that every few years.

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 11:09 pm

I can't party with you in LA!!! I live in Wyoming, and I can't drive at night because my night vision is no good.

gullywompr November 6, 2012 at 11:10 pm

I called that number, but couldn't really hear anything over some chick shouting about victory sex in the background. She sounded familiar…

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 6, 2012 at 11:10 pm

My best friend and favorite ginger just showed up at my house, and casually mentioned that she has tix to THE PARTY! Yes, THAT one, Bammer's party in CHICAGO! Why is she at the House of the Blue Lights. I am flattered but she is crazy.

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Swing on down.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:11 pm

NM for Bamz?

SayItWithWookies November 6, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Obama wins Iowa, according to the commies at PBS!

weejee November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

CNN says so too. So far Bamz is running a sweep with the swing states, NH, WI, and now IA.

snowpointsecret November 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Colorado+Nevada+Oregon would be enough. We could lose Florida, Ohio, AND Virginia and win at this point.

weejee November 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

But don't we want to be piggy and take them all?

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

OK, we can now hear (literally) fireworks beginning to go off around town…

glasspusher November 6, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Ohio! Done and Done!

ProgressiveInga November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Done deal. History's greatest monster wins another term.

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Rachel just called Ohio, and the election, for Bamz. Wahoo?

BloviateMe November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

FUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK YEESSSSSSSSSSSSS.

MRS. BLOV IS GETTING NAILED TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Dang.

BoroPrimorac November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Obama re elected bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

FOX News just called Ohio for Obama. 8:14 PM. It is all but over. Tears are being shed.

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Ooh, I'm gonna go watch that!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:17 pm

I switched back to MSNBC to enjoy the celebration.

emmelemm November 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Tears of joy and sloppy kisses!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Sloppy kisses to you. I so want to have your baby right now.

snowpointsecret November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Crowd so loud at Obama HQ that CNN can't talk to their reporter.

StillGoinGreen November 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

WE.WIN.

Mittaplasia November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Poor Mittens…once a bridesmaid; never a bride.

Yaaaaaay……..toke, toke……woo-hoo!

SayItWithWookies November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

A huge cheer goes up in Chitown — Ray Soares says CNN just called the election for Obama. CNN's website has him at 249 though. Okay, Judy Woodruff clarifies — Ohio for Obama.

Mumbletypeg November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

HOLY motherfuckin cow. I can exhale now.

Maman November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

WHOOOOO!

BoroPrimorac November 6, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Time to watch Fox.

Maman November 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

It is never time to watch FOX

snowpointsecret November 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Oregon for Obama now. This one's all but over. Colorado+Nevada… Or Ohio… Or Florida… Or Virginia+any state. All work.

Mittaplasia November 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Talk to the hand, Mittens; talk to the hand.

Biff November 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Got a smoke?

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

BAY-bee…

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Was it good for you too?

Biff November 6, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Oooooh yeah…

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 11:16 pm

8:15 pacific time and it's over….. Ohio caps it at 274 with a possible three other states left to go, Buh Buh Robme! And take that whiney weasel bastard Ryan with you. Also. Too.
And of course the expected gentle way that Mitt will congratulate Obamz is eagerly awaited.

Mittens Howell, III November 6, 2012 at 11:17 pm

YAAAAAAAAAAAH

My pizza arrived!

Also, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OBAAAAAAAMAAA!!!

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

[pssst, what kinda pizza?]

Mittens Howell, III November 6, 2012 at 11:50 pm

pepperoni and mushroom

ProgressiveInga November 6, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Vaginas Unite!

…and send pics…..

Mittaplasia November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Thank (your deity here) that Floriduh wasn't the 'decider'.

Biff November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

So you're saying they can get out of line now?

weejee November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Huzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Up thumbs for all.

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Hail, the day so long expected,
Hail, the year of full release.
Zion's walls are now erected,
And her watchmen publish peace.
Through our Shiloh's wide dominion,
Hear the trumpet loudly roar,
Babylon is fallen to riiiiiiiiiiiiise no more.

VodkaGoGo November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

That's it, already at 275. I hope he cracks 300. Can't wait to see Mittens concession speech.

Wadisay November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Brit Hume: Moderates are different from liberals, in a center right country. self-identify, D+4, blah blah. WTF is that man even talking about?

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

It's no longer important…

BoroPrimorac November 6, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Megyn Kelly looks like she's about to have a shit.

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Fox News needz moar sad trombone. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

snowpointsecret November 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

SUCCESS. FUCKING SUCCESS. TIME TO PARTY.

ProgressiveInga November 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Warren/Silver 2016!

Wadisay November 6, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Haha, Michele Bachman: Two. Term. Pwesident.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

What the hell if Romney going to do? How many dancing horses does it take to salve a man's heart? How many care elevators?

Damn it all! Mitt 2016!!!

BoroPrimorac November 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

This bitch Megyn Kelly is having a fucking melt down. She didn't take this well at all.

bobbert November 6, 2012 at 11:59 pm

She really is kind of a twit at heart.

prommie November 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Well I have to say that its a miraculous night, because I am walking again, too! Obama wins re-election, and I can walk again, and I'm in love and she loves me!

emmelemm November 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

So there was a laying-on of hands, and you were healed?

(Hooray!)

FakaktaSouth November 6, 2012 at 11:24 pm

I do I do I do and yay and thanks be to God, and I can't wait to see you and fucking hell this shit is all working out. I will be damned. Who'da thought the heatherns would get their way? I love you.

prommie November 6, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I love you I love you I love you! Even the heathens get lucky sometimes! Forever baby!

prommie November 6, 2012 at 11:32 pm

3 fucking days!

ProgressiveInga November 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Cher approves this message.

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Prayer works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mittaplasia November 6, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Let's go smoke some pot, oh, baby….

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Babylon is fallen, is fallen, is fallen! Babylon is fallen to rise NO MORE!

mosaickmind November 6, 2012 at 11:29 pm

I sooo hope so…

ProgressiveInga November 6, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Eva Longoria > Meat Loaf

bobbert November 7, 2012 at 12:00 am

Sorry, but this requires a "duh!"

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 11:25 pm

I can't get over the sweet, sweet, sound of it: PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:27 pm

EIGHT years of a Democratic, black president. Mandate much?

Wadisay November 6, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Aaaaaannndd, the 2016 campaign begins.

mosaickmind November 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm

My black cat just jumped on my chest and said "we beat the MAN again!!!"

M. Bouffant November 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm

OK, on my way!

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 6, 2012 at 11:35 pm

FOX is trying to walk it back now. Karl Rove says "No, way too soon, Ohio is still going Romney. You are all fucks!" So they are going to interrogate their statisticians. Meg Kelly is going to water board a bitch.

FOX geeks now going, "We are sure, the biggest thing out is all Dem. It's over man. Get over it you fucks!"

Source: FOX News

ttommyunger November 7, 2012 at 9:58 am

The Unforgiven and the Unrepentant. Love it!

DahBoner November 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Go

DahBoner November 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"Have your people call my people and we'll do lunch sometime" – 1986

PurgedVoter November 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Sorry I came in late, so why is that total hotty next that creepy old man?

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