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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  • Come here a minute

    OBAMA WINS. (I hope.)

    • AnAmericanInTO

      **SPOILER ALERT***

  • Limeylizzie

    Looking good in Florida, FWIW.

    • BadKitty904

      Yeah, buddy! We're weird, but we're unpredictable!

    • Come here a minute

      Not worth the bits it's written on.

  • freakishlywrong

    I'll be running in the streets naked if Hopey pulls it out. (Cover your eyes, my tits are not what they were).

    • Limeylizzie

      If I did that I would put an eye out.

      • FNMA

        One of mine?

        • Limeylizzie

          No, mine!

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        Me too.
        But I'm a middle age man, so that's pretty sad.

        • Limeylizzie

          Hopefully you have a big dick.

          • Native_of_SL_UT

            Not big enough to put my own eye out, but…

    • RomneysLogCabin

      My motorboat runs on Hopeysene.

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh, and one of the best songs, ever.

  • C_R_Eature

    Get it on? Sorry, we started early and now we're Too Drunk To Fuck.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Ah, but can you stroke it?

      • Limeylizzie

        Can I just put it in my mouth until I fall asleep?

        • Steverino247

          Ha! Great one.

        • C_R_Eature

          Problem Solved!

          • Limeylizzie

            I have been known to do that when I was in my drinking and slutty days.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I love that tune. Thanks.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    *Burble burble burble*
    *coff coff coff*
    *Snoooooooooort*
    *Glug glug glug*

    OK, I'm ready.

  • SnarkOff

    LA Wonketeers: Please have a drink on behalf of New York.

  • Hera Sent Me

    I'm already naked.

    • ttommyunger

      I'm naked under these clothes, too.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Dyspepsia or exuberance?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Watching the NYT site. Romney's lead over O just dropped from 100K to a little under 60K. AUGH.

    • Close_Read

      What she said.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    If Americans are getting sexy, they're getting sexy to this song, for obvious reasons.

    You're the one I really, really love.

  • poorgradstudent

    With less than 1% of the districts reporting, South Carolina is overwhelmingly going for Obama, which goes to show how much you can rely on the early percentages.

    • BadKitty904

      the fuck? South Carolina???

      • Terry

        Two areas that are heavily African American. They'll be balanced out soon.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      If Bamz wins SC would that mean that Mittens polygamy ghey marrying Nikki Haley and Lindsey Graham is off??

  • C_R_Eature

    And Also: No pants.

  • Terry

    Fun fact. Marvin Gaye was from DC. I planted trees in Marvin Gaye Park near his old home, along Watts Branch which is a tributary of the Anacostia River. Now you know.

  • qwerty42

    Lizzie, I hope so, but Nate Cohn reports:
    Miami-Dade stands out as an area of concern for the Obama campaign. The president leads by just a narrow margin in early voting, even though Obama won by 16 points in 2008. As is the case elsewhere in the state, it remains to be seen whether early votes are representative of the electorate as a whole. But it might also be a sign that Obama is struggling among Cubans, a possibility suggested by many polls.

    We'll see soon enough.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me*…..

    That's not an invitation, but an expression of how fucking on edge I am right now. If I had a pencil in my hand right now I'd snap it in three pieces and chew it to sawdust like an anrgy beaver.

    • Terry

      I'm sick to my stomach.

      I need to see a lot of blue on the map before I'll feel better.

    • Steverino247

      I'd like to chew on an angry beaver, but my wife's asleep.

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation
  • SorosBot

    Bay area, again at least two of us will be crashing Oakand's Drinking Liberally thingie:
    http://livingliberally.org/drinking/chapters/CA/o

  • Come here a minute

    Let me be the contrarian to say Abigael can suck it — not tired of Bronco Bama just yet.

  • Barbara_

    Eating my ice cream too fast. I need to finish dinner before I can start drinking. What kind of booze goes with strawberry ice cream? I can just make a booze float and save time.

    • MissTaken

      I always liked rum with strawberry ice cream. Like a daiquiri, but creamier!

      • Barbara_

        Good to see you, gal pal. Let's stay together and bring this mother to a close tonight.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Creme de menthe, but it's not typically found in most households.

  • pinkocommi

    Wonketeers, let me be the first to tell you, I love you for mind. Not your body. Keep your clothes on.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      If we pass the ghey marriage bill here in Washington they'll be dancing naked in our neighborhood known as the Swish Alps.

  • freakishlywrong

    What the fuck? That shitweasle is beating my Sherrod Brown? What the fuck?

    • MissTaken

      Right now NBC has Sherrod at 59%, and the shitweasel at 37%.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm not going to look, but I bet all these early results showing Romney winning states he's supposed to win anyway, with 3% of the vote in, has it looking like a bukake-fest over at Fox.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Has Fox declared Romney the winner yet?

  • FNMA

    Got a fresh bottle of Bulleitt's bourbon. Let's do this thing.

    • commiegirl99

      mama loves her some Bulleitt!

  • Fuck Toad

    I wish I could go and orgy with you guys for Black Osama but I've decided to stay away from any electronic devices as soon as I get home, and also I live hundreds of miles away.

    Instead I'm going to do some writing and have a nice dinner and maybe get it on.

  • Negropolis

    Ohio: 54/45 Obama with just 1%. It will close.

    • VodkaGoGo

      Stabenow seems to have won.

  • SorosBot

    Obama's ahead by 3% in Florida with 36%, a good amount, in; also leading in NC but only 15% in so far.

    • nyates314

      Where are you getting your numbers?

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Yay for being able to watch tv with no nonstop fucking political commercials.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, but all the shit in between the commercials is about politics.

  • PsycWench

    OT but you need a break: Literally Unbelievable has another gem from a conservative NPO.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Fuck everything. Let's dance!

  • Terry

    The People's Republic of Maryland, my beloved home, has been called for Obama. Yay!

  • poorgradstudent

    I'm in a hotel room in Chicago and it's not the type of room stocked with a full bar that soap opera characters get (and maybe real-life rich people?) so I can't soothe my nerves with booze. But hey, it's a big city, so maybe I can get my pizza delivered to me doused with vodka.

  • viennawoods13

    Thank god. Ohio just went from pale pink to pale blue.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    thanks mom!

  • Steverino247

    8 p.m. poll closing and lots of states going to Obama. 64-40 in the EC on CNN.

  • Terry

    64 – 40, the electoral college tally so far, Barry in the lead

  • VodkaGoGo

    Dare I watch FOX News? I want to see them have to call it for Obama but I'm not sure victory is a foregone conclusion.

  • freakishlywrong

    I will have "electionitis" tomorrow at work, I predict with 30 percent of the vote in.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i will only say it once tonight i promise:

    i hate mara liassom.

    • ttommyunger

      Not as much as I hate Gloria Fucking Borger.

  • viennawoods13

    Time for second shot of tequila. And popcorn.

  • DixvilleCrotch

    I plan to get it on with the first hologram that comes through my teevee.

  • Negropolis

    50/48 Obama exits in New Hampshire.

    52/47 Obama exists in PA.

    53/45 Obama exists in NJ

    Closer than I'd like in the blue states, but a win will be a win.

    Obama going back up in Florida 51/49.

  • Close_Read

    Can't stand the suspense. Going out to walk my dog. Please keep the live blog warm for me until I get back.

  • Steverino247

    OK went to Romney. That's okay. All the smart Okies left for California in the 30's… (and thanks to whichever one of you first posted that!)

  • FakaktaSouth

    I am just slowly freaking the hell out.

    I cannot imagine that this country has so many crazy people just running around loose every where making decisions like who's the president. Sometimes I really understand the Electoral College and where the founders were coming from with the whole "uninformed thing."

    I cannot look at Ann Romney ANY MORE I just cannot. She just DOES NOT look like a first lady to me.

    • ttommyunger

      She looks like a First Lady….TO POOP ON!

  • finallyhappy

    I bought alcohol for tonight and I almost never drink- yes, I had two glasses of cider in Paris in July but in America, I do not drink. I will be drinking to the Barack Hussein Obama. the 45th President of the USA. I just tweeted a photo of the button I "fixed" to Wonkette

  • C_R_Eature

    This Intermission Needs Moar Cephalopods.

  • PsycWench

    I'm watching Virginia and remembering how everyone was calling it for Macaca but Jim Webb snuck up and smacked his ass. Literally with votes.

  • C_R_Eature

    I have to say that I really despise having to stare into the Abyss of Worldwide catastrophe every four years at the prospect of handing over control of the most powerful nation on Earth to a gang of madmen, Bolsheviks, incompetents, grifters and thieves because the only opposition party here has gone completely over to frothing irresponsible insanity.
    This is no way to run a railroad, a democracy or a civilization.

  • Not_Mother

    Bronco 58.5 to 40.4 in Ohio…1% in

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I've had many crushes in my life, (James Taylor was particularly notable).
    But Marvin was my first.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Wonkateers, my guests seem to expect me to interact with them, so don't say anything too pithy.

  • SchemeZ

    The Professor Wins in MA

  • ttommyunger

    Thank you, Jeebus. I know Cantor was asking waaay too much when you've been so generous already. (Posted 10am Wed)