Clackamas Wackamas

Stupid Oregon County Fires Election Worker Just Because She Added Republican Votes To Ballots

She was only trying to help!Oregon’s mail-in balloting procedure is pretty secure, all in all, but it’s not entirely perfect, especially if an elections worker is of a mind to cause some mischief. Take, for instance, Deanna Swenson (please!), an election worker in Clackamas County, Oregon, who was fired and is being investigated for criminal vote fraud after she allegedly filled in votes for Republican candidates on ballots where voters had not made a selection. It’s not clear how many ballots were altered, but a local newspaper reported that “Swenson tearfully insisted that it was ‘only the two’ ballots that had been altered.”

The two altered ballots that they know of will not be counted and the people who cast them won’t be able to re-vote, according to county officials, because once opened, ballots are anonymous. Oopsies!

If convicted of vote tampering, a Class C felony, Swenson could face a maximum sentence of face five years in prison and a fine of up to $125,000.

We simply wish to note that leniency is probably merited, because Swenson is not a large black man wearing a scary beret and outrageously standing at “parade rest.”

[Raw Story]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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    1. BadKitty904

      They've cast off all pretense of "loving their country," "honoring the Constitution," "revering the Founding Fathers," etc., haven't they? They've finally outted themselves as the selfish, bigoted, un-Christian, power-hungry Neo-Nazis they actually are…

    1. weejee

      Looks to me like the pony was chillin' (some gin?) with Dame Peggington Noonington and is way into its cups. Maybe should try a bucket of oats in the morning for the hangover.

    2. CommieLibunatic

      D̛̛͙͇̮͙̪̟̍ͯ̃ͮ͝E̴̜͇̯̩͓͔̼͕̻̙ͤ̈̍ͥͦ̈́̾̋ͣ̐̈́̔͘ͅR̩̬̫̩̯̣̲͓̝͚̲̣̭̍ͫͧͮ̍̃ͭ́ͣ̂̎͠P̴̛̦̬͙̳̠̟͉͇͉̠̱̭͈̘̯̻̈͒̋̔̓ͭ̑̍̒́̀͟͜Y͊͗̆͑ͯ̊̀̓̑̄̆̋̊ͭ̎ͦ͘͜͟͏̩̙̥͖͎̙̫̼͍̗͕̺͈͚ͅͅͅ ̷̗̙̘͉̣̪̼̖̖͖̟̮͍̯̯͑̈ͭ̀̏̅ͬ́̚͝Ḻ̶̵̴͈͙̭̣̦͇̹̇̈́̅ͥͬͦ̿͡͠I̛̳̱̞͖͕͙̥ͮ̾͆̍͘͢͡B̵̘̗̭̠͉̣ͧ̍̃̋͑Ẻ̢̧̛̹̺̙͔͎̠͇̥͍͛̉̔̕L̵̛͈̻̪͔̳̯̙͇̱̯̘͉ͯ̒̆̃̇̋͐̋

  1. memzilla

    Is everybody ready for Rethuglicans whining about how Clinton appointees in NOAA and the CIA performed secret hurricane seeding to improve Obama's chances for re-election?

    (If that sounds far-fetched and un-possible to you, then you don't watch Faux News)

    1. Terry

      I have two options, a bottle of champagne or a half gallon of ice cream, depending on how things go. Nate's right, I'm knocking back a bottle of very good champagne.

      1. memzilla


        We really need to recapture our lead in R&D.

        1. Terry

          If it's a tie at my bedtime, I'm making a float with champagne and pumpkin ice cream. I'll either discover something awesome or be yakking at work tomorrow.

    2. Grokenstein

      They think Michael Crichton's "State of Fear" is even mildly plausible and probably the Truth, so there's that.

  2. Lot_49

    Fucken humorless libruls can't take a joke.

    And OT, why is Tamron Hall exiled to the Democracy Skating Rink? Is she just supposed to bale up little sidebar stories and bring them up to Overseer Schultz at the Big House?

  3. boskolives

    She was sure no one remembered George W. Bush because his name never is spoken aloud in Republican groups anymore,so what harm could there be in sneaking him onto a ballot or two. Or five thousand. Also.

  4. viennawoods13

    3 electoral votes for Obama to 0 for Romney!!
    ETA now 8 for Romney. And now the NYT Times map won't reload.

  5. snowpointsecret

    Republicans stepping up their vote rigging in states that… Yeah, Romney's still only winning there in his alternate universe, Amercia.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    “Swenson tearfully insisted"

    I'm just hopin' some other white person is tearful, tomorrow.

  7. Kid_Charlemagne

    I used to run by the Women's Prison when I lived in Salem, Oregon. I hope Ms Swenson becomes familiar with it too.

  8. Grokenstein

    "Only the two ballots! (Before I got caught!)"

    If she's mildly photogenic, the Wrong Wing's got a new martyr.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    My vote was on a touchscreen, and I simply did not vote in any race that had a Rep running unopposed. I hope it didn't get automatically filled in after I left, not that it matters. (In those races that had no Dem but did have a Libertarian and/or Greenie, the Green got my vote over the Libertarian.).

    1. Terry

      Good man. In my experience, Texas Greens are slightly liberal Dems in the East. My Green friends in Galveston would talk about their radical ideas, but those "radical" ideas are fairly mainstream outside the Lone Star State.

    2. LePiston

      The scanner on my machine was broken, so I had to drop my ballot in a slot below the scanner. Someone elses ballot was kind of sticking out of the slot a few centimeters below mine. Oh well I am in the Bay Area.

  10. Wile E. Quixote

    Throw the fucking book at her. Lock her ass up in a horrible federal pound-me-in-the-ass penitentiary for the full five years and hit her with the $125k fine. This shit needs to be stamped out.

    1. SunburntCounsel

      Chrysler actually gave all their employees the day off to vote.
      They were apparently not amused by the Romney/Jeep fuckery.

  11. Goonemeritus

    I think she will find some company in prison after this election. Maybe they can start a "not so young Republican Club while incarcerated

  12. freakishlywrong

    More importantly, why do we let the towering assholes in Ohio and Florida pick our presidents?

      1. C_R_Eature

        "Now I am a soft jelly thing". The architecture of many nightmares.

        Ellison has a tap into a Main Line of true Horror.

  13. VodkaGoGo

    Does anyone else think that the GOPs incessant raging boner over democratic voter fraud isn't just meant to disenfranchise minority voters but is also for the purpose of encouraging republican voter fraud, "both sides do it"? Am I just late noticing this?

  14. zumpie

    What's totally ridiculous? Clackamas is a verrrrryyyyy white trash (yes, I said it!!!) "suburb" of Portland. Most people there ARE Republicans

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