Clackamas Wackamas

Stupid Oregon County Fires Election Worker Just Because She Added Republican Votes To Ballots

She was only trying to help!Oregon’s mail-in balloting procedure is pretty secure, all in all, but it’s not entirely perfect, especially if an elections worker is of a mind to cause some mischief. Take, for instance, Deanna Swenson (please!), an election worker in Clackamas County, Oregon, who was fired and is being investigated for criminal vote fraud after she allegedly filled in votes for Republican candidates on ballots where voters had not made a selection. It’s not clear how many ballots were altered, but a local newspaper reported that “Swenson tearfully insisted that it was ‘only the two’ ballots that had been altered.”

The two altered ballots that they know of will not be counted and the people who cast them won’t be able to re-vote, according to county officials, because once opened, ballots are anonymous. Oopsies!

If convicted of vote tampering, a Class C felony, Swenson could face a maximum sentence of face five years in prison and a fine of up to $125,000.

We simply wish to note that leniency is probably merited, because Swenson is not a large black man wearing a scary beret and outrageously standing at “parade rest.”

[Raw Story]

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Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

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Comments

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  • freakishlywrong

    Project much?

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    #27 from the Karl Rove playbook – Never miss an opportunity no matter how small.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Funny that's what Mrs. Rove said.

  • Terry

    Damn frickin shameless Republicans.

    • BadKitty904

      They've cast off all pretense of "loving their country," "honoring the Constitution," "revering the Founding Fathers," etc., haven't they? They've finally outted themselves as the selfish, bigoted, un-Christian, power-hungry Neo-Nazis they actually are…

  • BumbleKid

    Michele Bachmann pony?

    • Terry

      Should have a brown mane

      • BaldarTFlagass

        This vote for upfist has been hijacked by a Republican poll worker.

    • Grokenstein

      Hey, now, Ditzy doesn't deserve that. What did she ever do to you? Drop muffins on your head?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Looks to me like the pony was chillin' (some gin?) with Dame Peggington Noonington and is way into its cups. Maybe should try a bucket of oats in the morning for the hangover.

    • CommieLibunatic

      D̛̛͙͇̮͙̪̟̍ͯ̃ͮ͝E̴̜͇̯̩͓͔̼͕̻̙ͤ̈̍ͥͦ̈́̾̋ͣ̐̈́̔͘ͅR̩̬̫̩̯̣̲͓̝͚̲̣̭̍ͫͧͮ̍̃ͭ́ͣ̂̎͠P̴̛̦̬͙̳̠̟͉͇͉̠̱̭͈̘̯̻̈͒̋̔̓ͭ̑̍̒́̀͟͜Y͊͗̆͑ͯ̊̀̓̑̄̆̋̊ͭ̎ͦ͘͜͟͏̩̙̥͖͎̙̫̼͍̗͕̺͈͚ͅͅͅ ̷̗̙̘͉̣̪̼̖̖͖̟̮͍̯̯͑̈ͭ̀̏̅ͬ́̚͝Ḻ̶̵̴͈͙̭̣̦͇̹̇̈́̅ͥͬͦ̿͡͠I̛̳̱̞͖͕͙̥ͮ̾͆̍͘͢͡B̵̘̗̭̠͉̣ͧ̍̃̋͑Ẻ̢̧̛̹̺̙͔͎̠͇̥͍͛̉̔̕L̵̛͈̻̪͔̳̯̙͇̱̯̘͉ͯ̒̆̃̇̋͐̋

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Libruls declare War on Clackamas!

    [ducks]

    • Barbara_

      This is brilliant! I bow down before you.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      [ducks]

      What about the Beavers???????

    • CommieLibunatic

      [aims low]

    • Nowisallthereis

      Antibiotics will clear that right up.

  • memzilla

    Is everybody ready for Rethuglicans whining about how Clinton appointees in NOAA and the CIA performed secret hurricane seeding to improve Obama's chances for re-election?

    (If that sounds far-fetched and un-possible to you, then you don't watch Faux News)

    • Terry

      I have two options, a bottle of champagne or a half gallon of ice cream, depending on how things go. Nate's right, I'm knocking back a bottle of very good champagne.

      • memzilla

        WHY IS THERE NO BEN AND JERRY'S CHAMPAGNE-FLAVOR ?!?!?!

        We really need to recapture our lead in R&D.

        • Terry

          If it's a tie at my bedtime, I'm making a float with champagne and pumpkin ice cream. I'll either discover something awesome or be yakking at work tomorrow.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "We're just asking questions!"

    • Grokenstein

      They think Michael Crichton's "State of Fear" is even mildly plausible and probably the Truth, so there's that.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!!!

  • Aridzona

    Euthanize her.

  • freakishlywrong

    Ratfucking ratfuckers are ratfuckers.

  • Arkoday

    5 years of face? I could go for that.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Googly-Eyed Pony!

    I'm gonna look like that later tonight.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Derpy Hooves!

  • Serolf_Divad

    If only she'd been forced to show a picture ID before tampering with ballots…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I really hope they prosecute her to the fullest extent of the law.

    • BadKitty904

      Amen. Set an example…

    • kingofmeh

      with votes?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        for votes.

  • memzilla

    "Honest Officer, they're my friend's votes! I was just borrowing them!"

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I used to live within spitting distance of Clackamas County.

    And I often did.

  • Lot_49

    Fucken humorless libruls can't take a joke.

    And OT, why is Tamron Hall exiled to the Democracy Skating Rink? Is she just supposed to bale up little sidebar stories and bring them up to Overseer Schultz at the Big House?

  • docterry6973

    Well, if she's white I guess we'll overlook it this time.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah, it coulda bin MUCH worse. She coulda opened a door or two for old white ladies (OWLs).

    • zumpie

      It's Oregon AND Clackamas County, she's not just white, she's pasty.

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    She was sure no one remembered George W. Bush because his name never is spoken aloud in Republican groups anymore,so what harm could there be in sneaking him onto a ballot or two. Or five thousand. Also.

  • emmelemm

    Ohmygah I love that pony .gif. I believe it's in the dictionary to illustrate "whackadoodle".

  • viennawoods13

    3 electoral votes for Obama to 0 for Romney!!
    ETA now 8 for Romney. And now the NYT Times map won't reload.

    • zumpie

      Time to panic!!!

  • MissTaken

    Oy! Deanna actually looks like Derpy. Eek!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "Two….thousand. Waaaaa!

  • snowpointsecret

    Republicans stepping up their vote rigging in states that… Yeah, Romney's still only winning there in his alternate universe, Amercia.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “Swenson tearfully insisted"

    I'm just hopin' some other white person is tearful, tomorrow.

  • LibrarianX

    5 years hard labor. This shit needs to be dealt with.

  • GhostBuggy

    Guys, you don't understand. She was helping the Republicans. It's cool!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    I just love her fucking chutzpah. "I don't get it. I only killed TWENTY FOUR people!" AUGH!

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    I used to run by the Women's Prison when I lived in Salem, Oregon. I hope Ms Swenson becomes familiar with it too.

    • Angry_Marmot

      I can has Linda Blair and Sybil Danning leg wrestling? No? You're ruining it for me!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Blingee Pony!

  • Grokenstein

    "Only the two ballots! (Before I got caught!)"

    If she's mildly photogenic, the Wrong Wing's got a new martyr.

  • Steverino247

    Nice of her to admit to two counts, though, wasn't it?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Unfortunately, the judge will say the same thing she did. "It was ONLY two votes." The system works so go home with a light knuckle-rapping.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    So voter fraud is real?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Obama takes Vermont! The election's over! Goodnight everybody!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I think I'll still hang around though, to help with the drinkin' and the fuckin'.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    My vote was on a touchscreen, and I simply did not vote in any race that had a Rep running unopposed. I hope it didn't get automatically filled in after I left, not that it matters. (In those races that had no Dem but did have a Libertarian and/or Greenie, the Green got my vote over the Libertarian.).

    • Terry

      Good man. In my experience, Texas Greens are slightly liberal Dems in the East. My Green friends in Galveston would talk about their radical ideas, but those "radical" ideas are fairly mainstream outside the Lone Star State.

    • LePiston

      The scanner on my machine was broken, so I had to drop my ballot in a slot below the scanner. Someone elses ballot was kind of sticking out of the slot a few centimeters below mine. Oh well I am in the Bay Area.

  • Angry_Marmot

    The ballots aren't the only thing that needs to be altered.

  • BadKitty904

    Intimately.

  • YerMa

    It was the New White Panthers, no doubt.

  • Lazy Media

    Ew! Chuck Todd and his douchebeard are on MSNBC! Ew!

  • DixvilleCrotch

    Are they doing holograms over in CNN-land? Or is that so last election?

    • YerMa

      I don't know, but I saw an animated Mitt robot earlier. Oh wait, that was Mitt.

    • MissTaken

      I read yesterday there will be no hologram this year. I repeat, no hologram this year.

      • DixvilleCrotch

        boo… (I know, don't boo, vote. Repeatedly.)

    • Angry_Marmot

      In the future, hologram does you.

  • BadKitty904

    Is there going to be a live blog for this turkeyshoot?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      If there isn't, I'm taking my toys and hanging out at DailyKos.

      Just kidding.

  • Troubledog

    She must have been doing it for ages, to have become so jaded and careless about it.

  • Crank_Tango

    Yep. And I only banged your sister the two times you found out about.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Throw the fucking book at her. Lock her ass up in a horrible federal pound-me-in-the-ass penitentiary for the full five years and hit her with the $125k fine. This shit needs to be stamped out.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      was thinking the same thing.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    god it's already started and i can't stand it.

  • rocktonsam

    ot

    The Chrysler Plant in Belvidere Illinois gave its 4500 employees the day off to vote.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Wow.

    • SunburntCounsel

      Chrysler actually gave all their employees the day off to vote.
      They were apparently not amused by the Romney/Jeep fuckery.

  • Goonemeritus

    I think she will find some company in prison after this election. Maybe they can start a "not so young Republican Club while incarcerated

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And they can hire O'Keefe to make a sleazy, poorly directed movie about it.

  • Lot_49

    Polls close in Ohio in 11 minutes. Squee!

  • freakishlywrong

    More importantly, why do we let the towering assholes in Ohio and Florida pick our presidents?

    • rocktonsam

      because their college football teams are terrible at cheating too

  • C_R_Eature

    Allright now, I got that Harlan Ellison reference at the end there, Nimdok.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Two tentacles up!

      • C_R_Eature

        "Now I am a soft jelly thing". The architecture of many nightmares.

        Ellison has a tap into a Main Line of true Horror.

  • dennis1943

    Sounds like a case of coitus interuptus……………..

  • VodkaGoGo

    Does anyone else think that the GOPs incessant raging boner over democratic voter fraud isn't just meant to disenfranchise minority voters but is also for the purpose of encouraging republican voter fraud, "both sides do it"? Am I just late noticing this?

  • TootsStansbury

    i can not believe I am reduced to "arrrrgle barrrgle. but there it is.

  • zumpie

    What's totally ridiculous? Clackamas is a verrrrryyyyy white trash (yes, I said it!!!) "suburb" of Portland. Most people there ARE Republicans

  • ttommyunger

    You may pass by, this is not the voter fraud we are looking for……