CLACKAMAS WACKAMAS  6:55 pm November 6, 2012

Stupid Oregon County Fires Election Worker Just Because She Added Republican Votes To Ballots

by Doktor Zoom

She was only trying to help!Oregon’s mail-in balloting procedure is pretty secure, all in all, but it’s not entirely perfect, especially if an elections worker is of a mind to cause some mischief. Take, for instance, Deanna Swenson (please!), an election worker in Clackamas County, Oregon, who was fired and is being investigated for criminal vote fraud after she allegedly filled in votes for Republican candidates on ballots where voters had not made a selection. It’s not clear how many ballots were altered, but a local newspaper reported that “Swenson tearfully insisted that it was ‘only the two’ ballots that had been altered.”

The two altered ballots that they know of will not be counted and the people who cast them won’t be able to re-vote, according to county officials, because once opened, ballots are anonymous. Oopsies!

If convicted of vote tampering, a Class C felony, Swenson could face a maximum sentence of face five years in prison and a fine of up to $125,000.

We simply wish to note that leniency is probably merited, because Swenson is not a large black man wearing a scary beret and outrageously standing at “parade rest.”

[Raw Story]

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{ 97 comments }

freakishlywrong November 6, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Project much?

Loch_Nessosaur November 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

#27 from the Karl Rove playbook – Never miss an opportunity no matter how small.

Dashboard Buddha November 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Funny that's what Mrs. Rove said.

Terry November 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Damn frickin shameless Republicans.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

They've cast off all pretense of "loving their country," "honoring the Constitution," "revering the Founding Fathers," etc., haven't they? They've finally outted themselves as the selfish, bigoted, un-Christian, power-hungry Neo-Nazis they actually are…

BumbleKid November 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Michele Bachmann pony?

Terry November 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Should have a brown mane

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

This vote for upfist has been hijacked by a Republican poll worker.

Grokenstein November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Hey, now, Ditzy doesn't deserve that. What did she ever do to you? Drop muffins on your head?

MittBorg November 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Moose muffins.

Grokenstein November 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm
weejee November 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Looks to me like the pony was chillin' (some gin?) with Dame Peggington Noonington and is way into its cups. Maybe should try a bucket of oats in the morning for the hangover.

CommieLibunatic November 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

D̛̛͙͇̮͙̪̟̍ͯ̃ͮ͝E̴̜͇̯̩͓͔̼͕̻̙ͤ̈̍ͥͦ̈́̾̋ͣ̐̈́̔͘ͅR̩̬̫̩̯̣̲͓̝͚̲̣̭̍ͫͧͮ̍̃ͭ́ͣ̂̎͠P̴̛̦̬͙̳̠̟͉͇͉̠̱̭͈̘̯̻̈͒̋̔̓ͭ̑̍̒́̀͟͜Y͊͗̆͑ͯ̊̀̓̑̄̆̋̊ͭ̎ͦ͘͜͟͏̩̙̥͖͎̙̫̼͍̗͕̺͈͚ͅͅͅ ̷̗̙̘͉̣̪̼̖̖͖̟̮͍̯̯͑̈ͭ̀̏̅ͬ́̚͝Ḻ̶̵̴͈͙̭̣̦͇̹̇̈́̅ͥͬͦ̿͡͠I̛̳̱̞͖͕͙̥ͮ̾͆̍͘͢͡B̵̘̗̭̠͉̣ͧ̍̃̋͑Ẻ̢̧̛̹̺̙͔͎̠͇̥͍͛̉̔̕L̵̛͈̻̪͔̳̯̙͇̱̯̘͉ͯ̒̆̃̇̋͐̋

skmind November 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Libruls declare War on Clackamas!

[ducks]

Barbara_ November 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

This is brilliant! I bow down before you.

weejee November 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

[ducks]

What about the Beavers???????

CommieLibunatic November 6, 2012 at 7:51 pm

[aims low]

Nowisallthereis November 7, 2012 at 6:42 am

Antibiotics will clear that right up.

memzilla November 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Is everybody ready for Rethuglicans whining about how Clinton appointees in NOAA and the CIA performed secret hurricane seeding to improve Obama's chances for re-election?

(If that sounds far-fetched and un-possible to you, then you don't watch Faux News)

Terry November 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I have two options, a bottle of champagne or a half gallon of ice cream, depending on how things go. Nate's right, I'm knocking back a bottle of very good champagne.

memzilla November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

WHY IS THERE NO BEN AND JERRY'S CHAMPAGNE-FLAVOR ?!?!?!

We really need to recapture our lead in R&D.

Terry November 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

If it's a tie at my bedtime, I'm making a float with champagne and pumpkin ice cream. I'll either discover something awesome or be yakking at work tomorrow.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

"We're just asking questions!"

Grokenstein November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

They think Michael Crichton's "State of Fear" is even mildly plausible and probably the Truth, so there's that.

MittBorg November 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!!!

Aridzona November 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Euthanize her.

freakishlywrong November 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Ratfucking ratfuckers are ratfuckers.

Arkoday November 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

5 years of face? I could go for that.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Googly-Eyed Pony!

I'm gonna look like that later tonight.

smokefilledroommate November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Derpy Hooves!

Serolf_Divad November 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm

If only she'd been forced to show a picture ID before tampering with ballots…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I really hope they prosecute her to the fullest extent of the law.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Amen. Set an example…

kingofmeh November 6, 2012 at 7:35 pm

with votes?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 6, 2012 at 7:46 pm

for votes.

memzilla November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

"Honest Officer, they're my friend's votes! I was just borrowing them!"

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I used to live within spitting distance of Clackamas County.

And I often did.

Lot_49 November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Fucken humorless libruls can't take a joke.

And OT, why is Tamron Hall exiled to the Democracy Skating Rink? Is she just supposed to bale up little sidebar stories and bring them up to Overseer Schultz at the Big House?

docterry6973 November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Well, if she's white I guess we'll overlook it this time.

MittBorg November 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Yeah, it coulda bin MUCH worse. She coulda opened a door or two for old white ladies (OWLs).

zumpie November 6, 2012 at 7:44 pm

It's Oregon AND Clackamas County, she's not just white, she's pasty.

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

She was sure no one remembered George W. Bush because his name never is spoken aloud in Republican groups anymore,so what harm could there be in sneaking him onto a ballot or two. Or five thousand. Also.

emmelemm November 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Ohmygah I love that pony .gif. I believe it's in the dictionary to illustrate "whackadoodle".

viennawoods13 November 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

3 electoral votes for Obama to 0 for Romney!!
ETA now 8 for Romney. And now the NYT Times map won't reload.

zumpie November 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Time to panic!!!

MissTaken November 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Oy! Deanna actually looks like Derpy. Eek!

smokefilledroommate November 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm

"Two….thousand. Waaaaa!

snowpointsecret November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Republicans stepping up their vote rigging in states that… Yeah, Romney's still only winning there in his alternate universe, Amercia.

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

“Swenson tearfully insisted"

I'm just hopin' some other white person is tearful, tomorrow.

LibrarianX November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

5 years hard labor. This shit needs to be dealt with.

GhostBuggy November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Guys, you don't understand. She was helping the Republicans. It's cool!

MittBorg November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I just love her fucking chutzpah. "I don't get it. I only killed TWENTY FOUR people!" AUGH!

Kid_Charlemagne November 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I used to run by the Women's Prison when I lived in Salem, Oregon. I hope Ms Swenson becomes familiar with it too.

Angry_Marmot November 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I can has Linda Blair and Sybil Danning leg wrestling? No? You're ruining it for me!

Monsieur_Grumpe November 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Blingee Pony!

Grokenstein November 6, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"Only the two ballots! (Before I got caught!)"

If she's mildly photogenic, the Wrong Wing's got a new martyr.

Dudleydidwrong November 6, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Define "mildly photogenic": http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/11/06/oregon-elec

Steverino247 November 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Nice of her to admit to two counts, though, wasn't it?

Jukesgrrl November 6, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Unfortunately, the judge will say the same thing she did. "It was ONLY two votes." The system works so go home with a light knuckle-rapping.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 6, 2012 at 7:08 pm

So voter fraud is real?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Obama takes Vermont! The election's over! Goodnight everybody!

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I think I'll still hang around though, to help with the drinkin' and the fuckin'.

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

My vote was on a touchscreen, and I simply did not vote in any race that had a Rep running unopposed. I hope it didn't get automatically filled in after I left, not that it matters. (In those races that had no Dem but did have a Libertarian and/or Greenie, the Green got my vote over the Libertarian.).

Terry November 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Good man. In my experience, Texas Greens are slightly liberal Dems in the East. My Green friends in Galveston would talk about their radical ideas, but those "radical" ideas are fairly mainstream outside the Lone Star State.

LePiston November 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

The scanner on my machine was broken, so I had to drop my ballot in a slot below the scanner. Someone elses ballot was kind of sticking out of the slot a few centimeters below mine. Oh well I am in the Bay Area.

Angry_Marmot November 6, 2012 at 7:09 pm

The ballots aren't the only thing that needs to be altered.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Intimately.

YerMa November 6, 2012 at 7:10 pm

It was the New White Panthers, no doubt.

Lazy Media November 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Ew! Chuck Todd and his douchebeard are on MSNBC! Ew!

DixvilleCrotch November 6, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Are they doing holograms over in CNN-land? Or is that so last election?

YerMa November 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I don't know, but I saw an animated Mitt robot earlier. Oh wait, that was Mitt.

MissTaken November 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I read yesterday there will be no hologram this year. I repeat, no hologram this year.

DixvilleCrotch November 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm

boo… (I know, don't boo, vote. Repeatedly.)

Angry_Marmot November 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

In the future, hologram does you.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Is there going to be a live blog for this turkeyshoot?

BaldarTFlagass November 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

If there isn't, I'm taking my toys and hanging out at DailyKos.

Just kidding.

Troubledog November 6, 2012 at 7:12 pm

She must have been doing it for ages, to have become so jaded and careless about it.

Crank_Tango November 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Yep. And I only banged your sister the two times you found out about.

Wile E. Quixote November 6, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Throw the fucking book at her. Lock her ass up in a horrible federal pound-me-in-the-ass penitentiary for the full five years and hit her with the $125k fine. This shit needs to be stamped out.

fuflans November 6, 2012 at 7:15 pm

was thinking the same thing.

fuflans November 6, 2012 at 7:16 pm

god it's already started and i can't stand it.

rocktonsam November 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

ot

The Chrysler Plant in Belvidere Illinois gave its 4500 employees the day off to vote.

Jukesgrrl November 6, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Wow.

SunburntCounsel November 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Chrysler actually gave all their employees the day off to vote.
They were apparently not amused by the Romney/Jeep fuckery.

Goonemeritus November 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I think she will find some company in prison after this election. Maybe they can start a "not so young Republican Club while incarcerated

Jukesgrrl November 6, 2012 at 8:06 pm

And they can hire O'Keefe to make a sleazy, poorly directed movie about it.

Lot_49 November 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Polls close in Ohio in 11 minutes. Squee!

freakishlywrong November 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

More importantly, why do we let the towering assholes in Ohio and Florida pick our presidents?

rocktonsam November 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

because their college football teams are terrible at cheating too

C_R_Eature November 6, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Allright now, I got that Harlan Ellison reference at the end there, Nimdok.

weejee November 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Two tentacles up!

C_R_Eature November 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

"Now I am a soft jelly thing". The architecture of many nightmares.

Ellison has a tap into a Main Line of true Horror.

dennis1943 November 6, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Sounds like a case of coitus interuptus……………..

VodkaGoGo November 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Does anyone else think that the GOPs incessant raging boner over democratic voter fraud isn't just meant to disenfranchise minority voters but is also for the purpose of encouraging republican voter fraud, "both sides do it"? Am I just late noticing this?

TootsStansbury November 6, 2012 at 7:26 pm

i can not believe I am reduced to "arrrrgle barrrgle. but there it is.

zumpie November 6, 2012 at 7:47 pm

What's totally ridiculous? Clackamas is a verrrrryyyyy white trash (yes, I said it!!!) "suburb" of Portland. Most people there ARE Republicans

ttommyunger November 7, 2012 at 10:32 am

You may pass by, this is not the voter fraud we are looking for……

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