Here's another fine mess you've gotten us out of, Stan!One of the most delightful developments of the past week has been seeing New Jersey Governor Chris Christie get evicted from the Republican Party for the crime of being respectful and grateful (in the wake of a hurricane that devastated his state) to the president of the United States, who is a known black person. (Christie is one of the last remaining Republicans who operate in actual reality — for instance, he believes global warming is real and we need to shut the fuck about the terrifying Musliny threat — even though he does spend an awful lot of time yelling at teachers.) First he went on Fox & Friends and blew their minds when he was all “nah mang, don’t got time for Mitt Romney’s ass,” and then everybody flipped out! Rush Limbaugh called him a big fat idiot! IT. WAS. GLORIOUS. And according to Christie, Romney was all like, “Indeed, fellow, I quite understand that the well-being of your state comes before the needs of our politickal campaign,” but Romney’s staffers are another (more butthurt) story entirely!

Bring the pain, HuffPo:

“I told Governor Romney at that time that if the storm landed as predicted that it was going to be catastrophic to New Jersey and unprecedented,” Christie said. “I said to him, ‘Listen, Mitt, if this storm hits the way I think it’s going to, I’m off the campaign trail from here to Election Day.’ And he said to me, ‘Chris, of course. That’s what you have to do. Do your job, don’t worry about me. I’ll take care of things.’ So all this other noise, I think, is coming from know-nothing, disgruntled Romney staffers who, you know, don’t like the fact that I said nice things about the President of the United States. Well, that’s too bad for them.”

“He told me last Sunday night that he expected no other political travel or help from me over the course of the remaining time between then and the election, if in fact the storm hit the way it was projected,” Christie continued. “If it missed us, I would have been happy to go out on the road and help him. But it didn’t.”


Politico reported earlier this week that Romney insiders were unhappy with Christie’s praise for Obama, which one described as “over the top.”

A source inside Romney’s campaign also told Jon Ward that Christie should have attended a rally in Morrisville, Pa., 20 minutes from Trenton, the New Jersey capital.

“You can’t tell me he couldn’t have gone over there for a night rally,” the source told Ward.

You know what, “source”? Shut the fuck up with your waaaah. Nobody likes a whiny bitch.


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  • YouBetcha

    I'm sure Romney staffers are angry about many things. Luckily they have a lot of free time in coming weeks to work out those issues.

    • I just hope Mormons don't believe in gun violence.

      • Loch_Nessosaur

        Mountain Meadows massacre.

    • freakishlywrong

      I predict ten more conservative "think tanks" and two new Faux news "analysts".

      • AnAmericanInTO

        Don't forget a whole slew of "NY TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHORS" in about a year.

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          Jerome Corsi libel.

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck Romney staffers. They've fucked every thing else.

    • Jerri

      Except like, actual willing sex partners.

    • NellCote71

      Walk down memory lane, starting with Amercia. And then there was the profanity in Prague and on and on and on.

  • The Party of Putting Country First
    except when it's putting it least~

  • Crank_Tango

    WTF kind of Republican says nice things about a democratic president, much less a blah one?

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    There's no butthurt like a losing Republican butthurt.

  • docterry6973

    For people who consider themselves the smartest and toughest, they sure do whine a lot.

    • NellCote71

      Alpha indeed, whiney babies.

  • Prediction: Gov. Krispy Kreme quits the GOP and becomes a Democrat before 2016.

    ETA: Yes, I'll still hate his sick ass, but just a little less.

    • Loch_Nessosaur

      Dem2016 – Chris Christe/Charlie Crist.

      • Actually, that's kind of a creepy thought, but not impossible.

      • GregComlish

        7 times fast!

      • Geminisunmars

        That has a certain alliterative charm, I must say.

      • The Crisco/StarKist ticket?

    • LesBontemps

      Not likely; I'm betting Cory Booker will harpoon him and render his fat in the 2013 gubernatorial race.

  • prommie

    The only true love of my life was saying just the other day, when Chris Christie is the voice of reason, things are totally fucked up.

    • T3rbo

      Yeah, I have the same feeling every time I see the Colin Powell Obama endorsement ad on the TV. The cognitive dissonance makes my brain struggle to not explode.
      "Hi, I'm Colin Powell. Remember me, the guy who passed on those lies about the yellow cake uranium? Yeah, I helped start the Iraq war!" (In my head, and sometimes out loud, I am yelling at the TV "YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!")
      "I will endorse President Obama (Wait, what the fuck???)…"

    • NellCote71

      When times get weird, the weird turn pro.
      Hunter S. (RIP)

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "The only true love of my life was saying just the other day"

      What? My vodka never talks to me!!

      • T3rbo

        you're doing it wrong

  • savethispatient

    Is this the start of the stories appearing about campaign in-fighting? Finally! Polls start closing soon-ish, after all.

    • emmelemm

      Can't wait for the campaign tell-all book in 6 months to a year. Think of the Mormon wackiness!

      • savethispatient

        "At our campaign's lowest ebb, Mitt started secretly drinking… caffeinated diet coke".

      • Matthew Fox and Jon Hamm are practicing The Robot for the HBO movie casting!!

    • SorosBot

      Start? They've been going on for weeks, as the Romney staffers have seen their campaign doomed.

      • Carefully covering his bases and at the same time his ass, Paul Ryan also voted for himself to keep his seat on the congressional Wisconsin ballot, making sure that he still has a job after the Romney thing fizzles out.

        • Geminisunmars

          Wouldn't it be just so sweet if he lost both?

          • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

            This! Please oh please oh please oh please!

        • viennawoods13

          Yeah, but don't forget, Handsome Joe did the same thing in 2008, running for his senate seat.

  • dr_giraud

    Hurricane Sandy, Chris Christie, voter fraud, Nate Silver, Lena Dunham, Candy Crowley . . . it's the "blame anyone but Mitt" post-campaign campaign.

    • carlgt1

      but what's funny is if Mitt loses then of course every right-winger from his top staff on down through the trailer parks, will be blaming Mitt & saying he wasn't ever right-wing enough to win etc etc etc…..

    • CindynEncinitas

      Leonard Bernstein…

  • Is that the Farelly Brothers' Laurel & Hardy remake?

    • Stan and Oily?

    • that picture and that alt-txt are the funniest things i've seen in the past week.

      • Oh Jeez, bested by The Editrix! It's like she does this for a living, or something!

      • MissTaken

        What you don't realize is the "Chris Christie **Governor**" embroidery is actually in 250 pt font.

        • They had to call in the blimp folks…

          • T3rbo

            the humanatee…

        • widestanceromance

          Stitched with rope.

  • PsycWench

    “You can’t tell me he couldn’t have gone over there for a night rally,”
    Yeah, he was totally down partying with those FEMA phone calls.

    • OneYieldRegular

      What part of "I was on the phone at midnight again last night with the President personally" did this staffer not understand?

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      GOP – not up to the task. These poltroons know campaigning, of a debased sort, but have no knowledge of or interest in the art of governance. Go lick a cane toad, you disgust me.

  • Romney staffers will have better things to worry about after tonite.

  • memzilla

    Hopefully just a preview of MUCH MORE WHINING from the Rmoney-ites.

    • Mucho más, también muy

    • freakishlywrong

      Bitches. AmIrite?

  • bunch a whiny ass titty babies..

    • GregComlish

      I think the phrase is "titty bitches"

  • mille derps

    "You think they're so dumb, you think they're so funny
    Wait until they've got you running to the
    Night rally, night rally, night rally"

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Nobody likes a whiny bitch.

    I could take it for a few days if she is rich.

  • edgydrifter

    Whiny Unnamed Romney Staffer = Egg
    You know it's true.

    • LibrarianX

      I KNEW I'd seen her before this race. Starred in "Clueless."

      • Also many "The Stepford Wives" sequals, where she was typecast as the richblondebitch.

    • NellCote71

      Redefines the term "sour puss."

    • a poached Egg Benedict, with way too much lemon in the sauce.

  • BloviateMe

    Leave it to the commoners and their stupid needs to ruin Mitt's prom.

  • PsycWench

    You remember that movie when the kid who was unhappy with the baseball game said "I'm just going to take my ball and bat and go home"? And then another, rather uncool kid said "You do that Tommy, because I have a bat and a ball of my own RIGHT HERE and we will carry on without you"? And you remember how great you felt that Tommy was getting put in his place?
    Well actually that movie didn't happen (as far as I know) but if it had, this would been just like it.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Bad News Bares? Touching.

      Oh wait, that's a totally different kind of movie. Nevermind.

  • freakishlywrong

    I don't agree with Fatso McMuffintop on anything. But this.

  • A source inside Romney’s campaign also told Jon Ward that Christie should have attended a rally in Morrisville, Pa., 20 minutes from Trenton, the New Jersey capital.

    Forty minute round trip, plus at least an hour putting in face time, so a 20 min drive becomes at least 2 hours (and I bet if he only hung around for an hour, they'd be up his ass about that, too)

    • The obvious solution would have been to bring Obama to the rally with him! That would have been much less awkward.

      • Oh man, how many times have I fapped wished some candidate would get dressed up in fatigues and camo and show up at the opposition rally, itching for a fight?

      • T3rbo

        Oh, hey, uh, Mitt. Uh, listen, I want you to meet someone, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way….no, Mitt, don't cry, it's not you, it's me. I've been doing a lot of thinking, after Sandy, and I, well, I just want to be happy…

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          "It's not you, it's me. Well, me and this handsome black man."

          ETA: "It's also you, Mittens."

  • Romney Staffers Totally Butthurt That Chris Christie Is Too Busy For Their Nonsense

    Before this day is over, Rmoney hizself is gonna be feeling like somebody gave him an enema with 3000 psi pressure washer.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Like when he was young and experimenting.? Ann will understand,

  • Were these the same Romney staffers who are always pushing the argument that President Obama puts politicking above everything else? It's nice to see them complaining that someone isn't doing that, now, isn't it?

  • MissTaken

    There are many posts on my Wonkett today.

    • Disassembly

      Sheldon Adelson is a new sponsor.

    • SorosBot

      Good thing then that Wonkett doesn't allow comments; then it would be impossible to keep up.

      • MissTaken

        I hope no one sends this entire blog to Afghanistan before I have a chance to lose any.

        • SorosBot


  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I'm telling you somewhere inside Christie there is a liberal trying to get out… maybe two.

    Damnit, I wasn't going to do anymore fat jokes! Bad Grumpe! I will just have to punish myself with beer.
    Go Hopey!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    There's gonna be a lot of butthurt Repugs tomorrow. Also a lot of disappointed Repugs too in addition.

  • gullywompr

    But you know who the real victim in all of this is?

    • freakishlywrong


      • gullywompr


    • NellCote71

      Lou Sarah?

    • Ann?

      • Jerri

        Picturing her try to smile through her seething anger during the concession speech is doing a lot to help my overall mood today. If we don't get to see that I will be deeply disappointed.

        • MissTaken

          I didn't even think about that. Oh that will be wonderful!

          • Steverino247

            See my angry post of last night for details… Yessssss!

          • Jerri

            Thanks to technology, we'll probably get to re-live a bit of it in glorious gif form, too. At least that is my hope.

        • WhatTheHolyHeck

          My magic 8 ball informs me that there will not be a concession speech, but instead weeks or even months of legal wrangling courtesy of Mitt's team of uberexpensive attorneys over recounts only in districts without paper ballots but with stacks of complaints of voter suppression of innocent white republicans. When he loses on appeal, there will not be a concession speech; instead he will smirk at America as he ships the last 19,000 real jobs to the Pacific Rim and flies away to his walled compound near Grand Cayman.

          It's a really big magic 8 ball.

        • Geminisunmars

          I saw Mrs Ryan/Lyin doing a pony trot next to her husband this morning with the clench jaw grin at some rally and gave the G-ddess a little prayer: Please don't make me look at that rictus for the next 4 years.

        • bearperney

          I, personally, would like to hear: "Youuuuu Peeeeeple" from Ann, just one more time.

    • Jus_Wonderin


    • SorosBot

      White people?

    • Ghost Breitbart?

    • AutomaticPilot


    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      My liver?

  • FakaktaSouth

    “I told Governor Romney at that time that if the storm landed as predicted that it was going to be catastrophic to New Jersey and unprecedented,”

    Just like truthful, appreciative comments from a Republican about PresO would be to Mitt's campaign.

  • OneYieldRegular

    For all the screaming Republicans do about jobs, they sure seem to hate it when someone actually does his or her job.

  • It sure will be hard for him to run for the 2016 Republican Presidential nomination when he's an Independent.

  • “You can’t tell me he couldn’t have gone over there for a night rally,” the source told Ward.

    What, George W. Bush wasn't available?

    • BumbleKid


    • bearperney

      Nope, W. was in the Cayman Islands giving a speech. (For real!)

  • SorosBot

    This is going to be one of the Romney campaign's big excuses; that if it weren't for the storm, and Obama's competent response, they would have won. Don't believe it; Obama has been ahead the entire campaign, even when Romney had the supposed momentum and gained in the polls after the first debate he stayed behind the whole time, and the turnaround began well before Sandy hit. But many of Romney's staffers will be claiming that they would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that pesky hurricane!

    • MissTaken

      The Weather Channel is the new lamestream media.

    • i swear to god soros your posts in particular have kept me positive this campaign.

      and by positive i mean 'not seriously thinking about death or canada'.

      • SorosBot

        Aw, thanks and you're welcome.

      • viennawoods13

        Oh come on, Canada isn't THAT bad.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      They can also claim Sandy is gay because Sandy is an androgynous. Like Hurricane Pat or Tropical Storm Leslie.

      • SorosBot

        A ma'am or a sir, a him or a her, or whatever it might be;
        It's time for androgyny, here comes Pat.

    • T3rbo

      Yeah, this official narrative will be repeated over and over and over until it becomes a part of history. It's more interesting than the alternative narrative-the Republicans fielded a really lame ass candidate that bungled his way to November 6th. A bunch of insane pandering 19th century throwbacks got beat in the primaries by a robot mormon or the bullshit narrative about how Obama nearly lost the presidency because of a terrible debate, and suddenly a Kamikaze wave beat back the great white horde?

      • SorosBot

        Whenever the Republicans lose, there's always a "but for" from both them and the mainstream media so they can claim the Democratic win was illegitimate. So Jimmy Carter only won because of Watergate, Bill Clinton because of Ross Perot, and Obama the first time around because of the crashing economy and because white people wanted to feel good about themselves and not-racist by voting for the black man.

        Meanwhile the last Republican president got into the White House by actually cheating the first time around but anyone who called him illegitimate was a far left loon. And no one ever mentions the secret negotiations to prevent the release of the hostages, or those other secret negotiations to prevent an end to the war in Vietnam.

        • T3rbo

          Yeah, they know better than we do how to control the dialog. The left leaves the dialog to be what is overheard during conversation, the right spends all of its energy trying to manufacture and market their contrived ideas as something two reasonable people have agreed upon.
          "Romney got beat because more people like Obama and his ideas" is a pretty lame advertising slogan. It doesn't capture the imagination or really motivate anyone to do much of anything. "Romney, the great hope of the nation, was defeated by circumstance and bad luck" is much catchier, and even though no one will actually come up with this idea, unless their job is to sell advertising, lots of people will probably buy it.

    • CindynEncinitas


  • kittensdontlie

    Christie knew the only way to Springsteen was through Obama, so that's how that happened…

  • You said you'd be true
    Baby said that you'd be true
    I don't care, I don't care
    I don't care, I don't care
    I don't want you, don't want you
    I don't want you, anymore

    last one, i promise. unless of course i remember something particularly fun for 8 PM eastern or so.

  • LibrarianX

    As if…!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear butthurt Romney babies:

    Less whiny, more titty.

    Y'r ob't,


  • Terry

    “Indeed, fellow, I quite understand that the well-being of your state comes before the needs of our politickal campaign,”

    Romney probably took Christie off the list of people to be posthumously baptized as a Mormon, and thus condemning Christie to eternal damnation.

  • That photograph looks like the number 10.

    • Nostrildamus

      If they were naked, it'd spell IQ.

  • widestanceromance

    This butthurt is only foreplay for the massive ramstein they get tonight.

  • Sly.

  • That Chris Christie jacket is very slimming.

    • CindynEncinitas

      Velour is so sexy on him, too. Makes him look extra cuddly.

  • fawkedifiknow

    In 2008, an over-the-hill coot and a certified idiot got 46% of the vote for Presnit and Veepnit. Romney and Ayn Ryan will get a whole 1 or 2 % more.

    Maybe they need to look a little deeper than whether Christie could have done more for them.

  • IceCreamEmpress

    So I have a question. Everywhere I go in my neck of the Internet, everyone feels like B. Barry Bamz is going to win absent significant skulduggery (which skulduggery I do not rule out, being a paranoid old).

    But on the wingnut Internet, everyone seems perfectly confident that R-Money will win.

    Can someone reassure me that we are not as deluded as them?

    In good news, the Elizabeth Warren people have been mounting an astonishing Get Out the Vote initiative, so.

    • Keep Calm and Trust Nate Silver

      Carry on.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Nate Silver uses math. They solve problems by asking Jeebus for help.
      Place your bets.

      • bearperney

        Well said! Mind if I use it elsewhere tonight?

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Did I forget the ©? Damn … looks like you're in the clear.

    • widestanceromance

      Math is our co-pilot. Remain in your seat.

    • Can someone reassure me that we are not as deluded as them?

      This is a question that I ask myself often. It is the price we pay for living in an asylum.

    • rickmaci

      Also Bamer is polling something like 70% with Ohio union households. Very big.

      The Wingtards are doing a covered retreat. They are going to lose but will make a lot of noise with a small covering contingent to make it seem like a win up to the very last minute before Herr Mittenz concedes.

    • i worry too (though i refuse to read any right wing blogs). but as everyone below says, nate silver has a fine track record.

      for sure, nate silver's reputation will be cemented one way or another.

  • Crank_Tango

    Who could miss a nice right-wing torchlight rally?

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Just tell me what color shirts they'll be wearing. I don't want to be mistaken for one of them.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The big fat idiot called the big fat idiot a big fat idiot? You just gotta love Republicans.

  • SmutBoffin

    That photo reminds me of this other one.

  • BornInATrailer

    Today, one of these men will play a game with a basket. The other will eat from a basket.

    You guess which.

  • T3rbo

    say what you want about Christie, that is one very very powerful man. Find me one quote from an actual Republican politician criticizing Christie's handling of the Sandy-you know they are all completely butthurt, but they can't say anything. If Christie handles the cleanup correctly, he will be like the god king of New Jersey. The guy is even providing his own cover story about how the Romney campaign communicated with him and this story will never be contradicted. This is definitely the next GOP big boss

    • CindynEncinitas

      I hope he eats Grover Norquist.

  • so i think christie's reaction was a sincere one and done for NJ and as a leader.

    however, i ALSO think the collateral damage with the republican party is a carefully considered boost to his 2016 campaign.

  • StillGoinGreen

    Memo – Nov 7, 2012:

    "Anonymous Romney Source" to replace Steve Schmidt on MSNBC as Rachel's Republitard BITCH!

  • Wadisay

    OMG!!! Nate Silver downgraded Obama from a 91% to a 90% chance of winning! I'm freaking!

    • Geminisunmars

      It's a trend!! OMG!!!

  • IceCreamEmpress

    Chris Christie is now actually larger than President Taft, isn't he? And seems to be closing in on G. K. Chesterton fairly fast.

    I'm not saying this to judge him, because hey, people get fat, but it seems like a politician might be somewhat wary of that. On the other hand, Mike Huckabee got thin for ten seconds and seems larger than ever now.

    Also, that is the most Laurel and Hardy of political photos.

  • Nostrildamus

    I hope this makes it perfectly clear that it's the GOP that's dynamiting bipartisanship. Say anything positive about someone from the opposing party? Pariah !!!

    The corollary of "it takes two to tango", is that it takes only one to not tango – not that I'd expect the numerically challenged MSM to understand.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    “You can’t tell me he couldn’t have gone over there for a night rally,” the source told Ward.

    You know who else liked to go to night rallies…

    • SorosBot

      Count Dracula?

      • IceCreamEmpress

        Elvis Costello?

    • Geminisunmars

      High School football teams?

    • BornInATrailer

      Erik Carlsson?

    • Steverino247


    • Wile E. Quixote

      You know who else liked to go to night rallies (besides Count Dracula, Elvis Costello, high school football teams, Erik Carlsson and Blade)…

      • SorosBot


        • IceCreamEmpress

          The Klan?

  • MonkeyMotion

    C'mon, Jeebus freaks: less whining, more praying. That always works!

    And go change your magic undies…

  • Oh don't try to bullshit us, Mitt. We know you made futile booty call after booty call to Christie, just like Christie's harassing phone calls to Springsteen.

  • Troglodeity

    Yeah, if only that storm hadn't hit and Christie hadn't been so nice to the Prez, Romney would have this thing sewn up! Can't wait to see how the Republimentalists fit all this into their God-driven-politics weltanschauung.

    And another thing: weltanschauung!

    • Waving your weltanschauung around in public is a misdemeanor!

    • Wile E. Quixote

      I'm going to enjoy the schadenfreude I feel as I watch the Republicans attempt to fit this into their weltanschauung. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go do some work on my hochverfugbarkeitbetriebsystem so I can leave work at a reasonable hour this evening and go home and watch the election coverage on my schwarzweissfernseher.

  • Steverino247

    Love the alt-text, Editrix. Very funny.

  • voodooeconomics

    Chris is wearing a garment-tent by givenchy.; all black, with a hint of blue…quite effective..the guy on the left is just soooo skinny..

  • Guppy

    Staffers? $10,000 says that the "anonymous source inside the campaign" is Romney himself.

    It's not like it'd be the first time he was on both sides of an issue.

  • Since wingnutz are now so down on Christie, he's thinking of running as a 3rd, 4th and 5th party candidate.

  • rickmaci

    You just have to believe the Bamer got to him by throwing in one of those nifty Air Force One leather bomber jackets, the ride in Marine 1 and a personal call from Springsteen. All Rombony could offer the guy was an cold winter evening standing with him in the parking lot of a Howard Johnson.

  • GregComlish

    Chris Christie is still just an angry ambitious blowhard. He's sabotaging Mitt so he can clear the way for 2016. Which is pretty frightening since it demonstrates some Machiavellian cunning on top of an unstable and angry personality wedded to right-wing extremism. Unlike typical GOP dipshits, he isn't going to shoot himself in the foot by making an extemporaneous and extremely ill-advised remark about rape. Maybe you guys take comfort in that, but I imagine that he could soon be the Fascist the GOP base has long been craving.

    It's pretty awesome that he's stabbing Mittens in the back, though.

    • Enjoy now, fear later.

  • Putting governing (in life and death) above politicking? Holy shit, GOPer crybabies.

  • Maybe spend more time getting your 2012 candidate to talk to reporters and less time whining about getting 2016's candidate to your loser-rallies?

  • OneDollarJuana

    That picture makes me think of the 1939 World's Fair.

  • mbobier

    A night rally, eh? With white sheets and pointy hats, I trust.

  • Lazy Media

    I know Obama is extremely skinny, and this is a sizist statement, but God DAMN, Christie! Mix in a salad once in awhile, dude!

  • “You can’t tell me he couldn’t have gone over there for a night rally,”

    You would think the governor of a state that just got washed into the sea by a hurricane could take a few hours off to suck Romney's dick.

  • cletar

    I think the saddest thing about losing the presidential election would be having to give back all those sweet Presidential Seal bomber jackets and windbreakers.

  • also, he's too big and mean to worry about the right fringe.

    many of whom will presumably be dead.

  • decentcitizen

    It's hard to deny Christie's self-interest with an eye on 2016. At the GOP convention, he talked more about himself the the nominee. My sense is Sandy presented him a opportunity to appear above politics when actually it was all about politics.

  • ttommyunger

    Considering the Butt in question, that's a world of hurt.

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