Look at this awesome guy! You would think they would have thrown him out of the polling place at Los Angeles’s Union Rescue Mission, on Skid Row, for electioneering. And yet they did not! What is our world even coming to?
Look at this Cory Booker-looking motherfucker! He was very nice. He pointed out Roseanne Barr’s name under the Peace & Freedom party. Is that the same Roseanne Barr? he wanted to know. Yup! Our son, next to him (FIRST TIME VOTER YALL), did not know who Roseanne Barr was. “She used to be famous,” we explained.
Here are a whole bunch of people waiting to vote even though there were a ton of empty booths. (It took almost an hour to get through a 20 person line.) Quite a few young homeless men came in asking where they could register. There was a hilarious black kid who kept asking an old black homeless lady who she’d be voting for. “You voting for Romney?” “OBAMA!” “You gonna vote for George W. Bush?” In fact, she was not! The guy checking addresses literally did not know how to alphabetize, so it took a while to convince him he would find “Schoenkopf” before “Smith.” But the lady in charge was doing her best to bulldoze him into making it happen. Also, she insisted everyone shake our son’s hand, as she’d immediately picked him out as a first-time voter. MOMMY BLOGGING.
Look at that punim! We were all set to shriek and carry on about our son’s constitutional right to the franchise, if they asked for ID, because you are not allowed to ask for ID in California! Then we went to the Secretary of State’s website and discovered, in fact, that first-time voters do have to show ID in California! But the awesome lady in charge was not having any of that. “What do you do with a first-time voter?” she asked her befuddled poll worker. As he hesitated, not knowing the answer, she sighed and yelled “MARK HIM OFF, GIVE HIM A BALLOT, HE IS STANDING RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU!” Problem solved.