kids today

Uh-oh: Your Obama Vote Won’t Count If You Post It On Instagram Or Whatever

Sucks to be you, Candidate B!Hello, millennial children of the digital age! You probably think you’re pretty “cool” if you take a picture of yourself voting for Obama and then post it on your favorite social media networking time-wasting porn sites, so your friends can see that you’re a liberal chump like them. In this sense voting is like every other activity in your shallow, overshared life. But unlike the artfully filtered pictures of your homemade meals that you put on Instagram and all those nude selfies you stuck on MySpace in 2006 and then forgot about, those photos of your ballots are actually illegal in most states, and thus count in reverse, for Mitt Romney!

The Wall Street Journal’s All Things D somehow managed to beat Buzzfeed FWD to this tech/election overlap thingie, and explains about why you shouldn’t put pictures of your completed ballot online. This is mostly because we have “secret ballot” laws that make it illegal to take photos in polling places, which protects you from having a boss or some other person in authority over you demanding that you take a picture in a polling place, of your ballot, so they can fire you when you don’t vote for Romney. Also you can’t take pictures of your fellow voters, because that’s creepy. Why do you want to be creepy? Putting up pictures of your ballots won’t actually invalidate your vote, but one guy actually had his phone taken away for doing it, and for your average young person losing a precious smartphone is a million times worse than the thought of a Romney Administration, so be sure not to do this. [WSJ ATD]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger
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  1. YouBetcha

    Every grown man from my office is putting up ballot selfies on Facebook like a fucking teenage girl today. God Bless America.

  2. sudsmckenzie

    I'm going to wait until later tonight to get a snap of me popping a Champagne cork, with no pants on of course.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      In honor of another Barry win, I plan on having my cork popped tonight. But it won't be Champagne. HEY-O!

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      I have a bottle of champagne iced and ready for that magical moment when FOX News projects Obama the winner.


      Obviously, this is going to be later than the other major news outlets declare, so I hope I'm sober enough to get that cork out when it finally happens.

  3. Goonemeritus

    I would never photograph the dozen or so ballots I cast at several polling places this morning. That would be illegal and wrong.

    1. Lazy Media

      Congratulations! Your post will be featured on Free Republic today as rock-solid evidence of voter fraud!

      1. SorosBot

        Nah; of the wingnut sites I've checked out today, Free Republic is the only one not running with constant "NEW BLACK PANTHERS!" "VOTING FRAUD!" bullshit; instead, it's all "THE POLLS ARE ALL SKEWED! This is how you know Romney is really going to win in a blowout!"

        The Freepers seem to be in denial, while the other wingnut sites seem to be on to anger.

        1. Incitefully_Joe

          Romney tied Obama in a tiny, whelmingly Republican town in New Hampsire! That also went whelmingly for all the local-race republicans, meaning Romney's trailing local Republicans by 20-30 points (2-3 people)!

          Clearly this means a Romney landslide, because this ten-voter New Hampshire town is not completely irrelevant to everything.

          The freepers sersiously tried to cast Dixon Hills as a "Deep Blue Democrat (sic) town", on account of its 3 Registered Republicans, 2 Registered Democrats, and 5 Independent/Uncommitted/Other.

          1. SorosBot

            Yeah, the self-delusion there is amazing. Also Romney's rally in Pennsylvania means he MUST be winning, and they're calling him "President-elect Romney". But Breitbart, NR, RedState are all "Black Panthers! Voter Fraud!! ARGH ARGH BLACK PEOPLE!!1!"

        2. Biel_ze_Bubba

          My reliable teabagger pal tells me the latest theory making the rounds on wingnut email chains and rant-blogs goes something like this:

          1. Blacks vote early
          2. Exit polls will show Obama winning
          3. Other blacks won't bother voting, because lazy (the ones who don't get up early, that is)
          4. Hard-working Real Americans™ will vote after work (in wingnuttistan, they have jobs), and of course they're all for Romney, because they're Real Americans™.
          5. Mitt wins!

          Personally, I'm going with: Liberal, rational people are seriouly pissed at all this GOP assholery, and they're gonna vote come hell or high water.

  4. Generation[redacted]

    And definitely don't take pictures of the Michigan Militia asking voters for ID, because they won't like it.

    Upskirt ballot box money shots. Also. Too.

  5. FakaktaSouth

    Oh man, I'm feeling pretty smart now about just taking the I Voted sticker pic, regardless of the looks I got from the old lady pollsters when I ripped off my shirt. Hey old ladies, the rule is TITS OR GTFO, what else could I do???

      1. glasspusher

        Finally, finally, somebody gets the reference! How about you, prommie? Regardless, you are truly a renaissance man.

        1. prommie

          I don't grind my own, but I gots me an old red-tube Coulter, 8 inch, and a 100 mm celestron refractor, and one of those little meade 90 mm Maks.

          1. glasspusher

            Nice. I don't own any of those fancy-pants store-bought scopes, but I've ground and figured a 4.5 inch, about eight 6 inchers, an 8 inch, two 10 inchers, and my crown jewel, a 18.5 inch, 21 mm thick at the edge, plate glass. No turned down edge, I really lucked out. Best compliment I got was looking at Saturn with it at 500x with a friend and real pro down in Florida, very steady air, and he asked, “got another Barlow?”As Dave Barry says, “There's a fine line between a hobby and a mental illness”, and I can't even see that line from where I am…

  6. Oblios_Cap

    all those nude selfies you stuck on MySpace in 2006

    If they're from 2006, then I damn sure look a lot better naked in them than I do in person today.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      You never know; Hillary might convert.

      I mean she has been spending a suspicious amount of time in the Middle East, lately.

  7. SorosBot

    "which protects you from having a boss or some other person in authority over you demanding that you take a picture in a polling place, of your ballot, so they can fire you when you don’t vote for Romney. "

    But why would we need that? I mean it's not as if there's been a huge rash of employers threatening their employee's jobs if they voter for Obama or anything…

  8. T3rbo

    I always get confused at the term "millennial." First, I think of really really old people (1,000 years old?) and then I think oh, people who are involved in hat designing. It really takes me a while to figure out what the fuck a millennial is. How about you just say "dipshit who tucks his/her ears into their baseball cap." I see why you don't say that, it takes too long.

  9. cognachas4paws

    It was the first time my dogs voted so I had to take snapshots – you know, for their memory book. Don't judge me.

  10. proudgrampa

    I have already started celebrating. The campaigning is over! Really enjoying my 3rd Sapphire martini this morning!!!


    Go O!!!

  11. Disassembly

    I'm not comfortable making fun of millennials today. We need their young blood at the polls. Tomorrow, no problem.

      1. SorosBot

        She's now a frequent MSNBC pundit, particularly on Lawrence O'Donnell and Chris Hays, and is awesome still.

        1. prommie

          Really? Shit, Bruno was right, all it takes to get famous is a sex tape; or a dildo hat faux fellatio pic, I guess.

  12. ttommyunger

    OT: Enjoy, Ohio; tomorrow the whole Country will revert to not giving the slightest fuck about you again (aside from the DOJ Investigations for voting irregularities).

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