kids today

Uh-oh: Your Obama Vote Won’t Count If You Post It On Instagram Or Whatever

Sucks to be you, Candidate B!Hello, millennial children of the digital age! You probably think you’re pretty “cool” if you take a picture of yourself voting for Obama and then post it on your favorite social media networking time-wasting porn sites, so your friends can see that you’re a liberal chump like them. In this sense voting is like every other activity in your shallow, overshared life. But unlike the artfully filtered pictures of your homemade meals that you put on Instagram and all those nude selfies you stuck on MySpace in 2006 and then forgot about, those photos of your ballots are actually illegal in most states, and thus count in reverse, for Mitt Romney!

The Wall Street Journal’s All Things D somehow managed to beat Buzzfeed FWD to this tech/election overlap thingie, and explains about why you shouldn’t put pictures of your completed ballot online. This is mostly because we have “secret ballot” laws that make it illegal to take photos in polling places, which protects you from having a boss or some other person in authority over you demanding that you take a picture in a polling place, of your ballot, so they can fire you when you don’t vote for Romney. Also you can’t take pictures of your fellow voters, because that’s creepy. Why do you want to be creepy? Putting up pictures of your ballots won’t actually invalidate your vote, but one guy actually had his phone taken away for doing it, and for your average young person losing a precious smartphone is a million times worse than the thought of a Romney Administration, so be sure not to do this. [WSJ ATD]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

Comments

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  • tbogg

    Anthony Weiner tried to instagram his ballot but his penis kept getting in the way.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Teh ballot is that small?

    • djneedlz

      It was just a baby's arm holding an apple. The babies hide under the machines.

  • SorosBot

    Damn that Twenty-Sixth Amendment!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Once tapped, a keg cannot be untapped!

  • joemac1114

    I would go back to a black rotary dial phone to keep Romney from office.

    • glasspusher

      Dial 'O' for Obama…

      • Generation[redacted]

        And dial 'M" for RMoney.

        • Mittaplasia

          Win!

    • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

      I would learn Morse Code to keep Rmoney from office.

  • YouBetcha

    Every grown man from my office is putting up ballot selfies on Facebook like a fucking teenage girl today. God Bless America.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    So this was Romney's secret weapon to get votes invalidated?

    • Beowoof

      Well he is still hoping to find a way invalidate all blah and latino votes.

      • SavageDrummer

        Silly, blahs and latinos can't afford cell phones! Unless they're Obamaphones…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    seriously, if Candidate B gets elected i'[m moving to canada.

  • JerkCade

    Why vote if no one sees you do it?

    • An_Outhouse

      If no one sees, did it really happen?

  • Crank_Tango

    Using instagram for anything should get you punched in the taint.

  • sudsmckenzie

    I'm going to wait until later tonight to get a snap of me popping a Champagne cork, with no pants on of course.

    • elviouslyqueer

      In honor of another Barry win, I plan on having my cork popped tonight. But it won't be Champagne. HEY-O!

      • BadKitty904

        Yowza!

    • HogeyeGrex

      If you can pop a champagne cork with it, you are one talented guy.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I have a bottle of champagne iced and ready for that magical moment when FOX News projects Obama the winner.

      SchadenBubbly.

      Obviously, this is going to be later than the other major news outlets declare, so I hope I'm sober enough to get that cork out when it finally happens.

    • Toomush_Infer

      be very, very careful with that cork if you're not wearing pants….

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    This is bad news for those scrapbooking enthusiasts! oh, wait…

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    What if you post a pic of yourself NOT voting for Romney?

    • LesBontemps

      Supermax.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Gitmo.

  • hagajim

    I'll take polling place Creepshots for the Win Alex.

  • Goonemeritus

    I would never photograph the dozen or so ballots I cast at several polling places this morning. That would be illegal and wrong.

    • Lazy Media

      Congratulations! Your post will be featured on Free Republic today as rock-solid evidence of voter fraud!

      • Goonemeritus

        Well thank God I didn’t mention that I am undocumented.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Oh pleasepleaseplease tell me you are a drug dealer, too?

          • Geminisunmars

            Worse: He works for Acorn.

          • Esteev

            You mean a Pfizer rep?

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          And I assume you are Muslim as well.

      • SorosBot

        Nah; of the wingnut sites I've checked out today, Free Republic is the only one not running with constant "NEW BLACK PANTHERS!" "VOTING FRAUD!" bullshit; instead, it's all "THE POLLS ARE ALL SKEWED! This is how you know Romney is really going to win in a blowout!"

        The Freepers seem to be in denial, while the other wingnut sites seem to be on to anger.

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

          Romney tied Obama in a tiny, whelmingly Republican town in New Hampsire! That also went whelmingly for all the local-race republicans, meaning Romney's trailing local Republicans by 20-30 points (2-3 people)!

          Clearly this means a Romney landslide, because this ten-voter New Hampshire town is not completely irrelevant to everything.

          The freepers sersiously tried to cast Dixon Hills as a "Deep Blue Democrat (sic) town", on account of its 3 Registered Republicans, 2 Registered Democrats, and 5 Independent/Uncommitted/Other.

          • SorosBot

            Yeah, the self-delusion there is amazing. Also Romney's rally in Pennsylvania means he MUST be winning, and they're calling him "President-elect Romney". But Breitbart, NR, RedState are all "Black Panthers! Voter Fraud!! ARGH ARGH BLACK PEOPLE!!1!"

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          My reliable teabagger pal tells me the latest theory making the rounds on wingnut email chains and rant-blogs goes something like this:

          1. Blacks vote early
          2. Exit polls will show Obama winning
          3. Other blacks won't bother voting, because lazy (the ones who don't get up early, that is)
          4. Hard-working Real Americans™ will vote after work (in wingnuttistan, they have jobs), and of course they're all for Romney, because they're Real Americans™.
          5. Mitt wins!

          Personally, I'm going with: Liberal, rational people are seriouly pissed at all this GOP assholery, and they're gonna vote come hell or high water.

          • An_Outhouse

            What about all the white people I know who voted at 6 a.m. on their way to work?

          • Esteev

            The irony that the blue states subsidize the red ones isn't lost on me.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Did the Black Panthers hold the door for you? How nice!

      • teebob2000

        Black Panther. Singular.

  • freakishlywrong

    Has anyone told Sean Insannity?
    He twatted one. Hang that man for treason. With votes!

  • delaney_blom

    I had to take a few shots of my ballot . . . It just couldn't get the duck face right.

  • gullywompr

    Obama gives them phones, and Romney takes them away. Promise kept.

  • Stevola

    Porn is NOT a waste of time

  • Generation[redacted]

    And definitely don't take pictures of the Michigan Militia asking voters for ID, because they won't like it.

    Upskirt ballot box money shots. Also. Too.

  • barto

    What's all this about an election?

    • kittensdontlie

      Yes there is. It's only in Ohio.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Don't ask me. I stopped watching American Idol after the third season.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      It's in my pants…. Sorry, I thought you were asking about an erection. Never mind, it's gone too. Also.

      • MosesInvests

        Oh, that's very different.

    • smellyal8tr

      Something going on in Ohio, apparently. Not sure what it means for the rest of us.

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    Election day 2012, where Mitts learns that 2nd place only qualifies you as the first loser.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Oh man, I'm feeling pretty smart now about just taking the I Voted sticker pic, regardless of the looks I got from the old lady pollsters when I ripped off my shirt. Hey old ladies, the rule is TITS OR GTFO, what else could I do???

    • prommie

      And I want to thank you again for that lovely snapshot!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      PICS or GTFO

    • Graham Cracker

      I like a girl that plays by the rules.

    • ttommyunger

      Tell Barb & Lizzie, pleeeeeze. Thankyouverymuch!

  • glasspusher

    Q: How much does a hipster weigh?

    A: An Instagram

    • prommie

      You don't grind mirrors, do ya?

      • glasspusher

        Finally, finally, somebody gets the reference! How about you, prommie? Regardless, you are truly a renaissance man.

        • prommie

          I don't grind my own, but I gots me an old red-tube Coulter, 8 inch, and a 100 mm celestron refractor, and one of those little meade 90 mm Maks.

          • glasspusher

            Nice. I don't own any of those fancy-pants store-bought scopes, but I've ground and figured a 4.5 inch, about eight 6 inchers, an 8 inch, two 10 inchers, and my crown jewel, a 18.5 inch, 21 mm thick at the edge, plate glass. No turned down edge, I really lucked out. Best compliment I got was looking at Saturn with it at 500x with a friend and real pro down in Florida, very steady air, and he asked, “got another Barlow?”As Dave Barry says, “There's a fine line between a hobby and a mental illness”, and I can't even see that line from where I am…

  • glasspusher

    We will see what bubbles up to the top…

  • Oblios_Cap

    all those nude selfies you stuck on MySpace in 2006

    If they're from 2006, then I damn sure look a lot better naked in them than I do in person today.

  • DrunkIrishman

    I'm still taking a photo of my ballot. This is the last time I'll get to vote for a Muslim!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You never know; Hillary might convert.

      I mean she has been spending a suspicious amount of time in the Middle East, lately.

  • MC5

    Hannity actually did tweet his ballot. Dumbass.

  • SorosBot

    "which protects you from having a boss or some other person in authority over you demanding that you take a picture in a polling place, of your ballot, so they can fire you when you don’t vote for Romney. "

    But why would we need that? I mean it's not as if there's been a huge rash of employers threatening their employee's jobs if they voter for Obama or anything…
    http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/10/25/1087http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2012/10/27http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2012/10/r

  • T3rbo

    I always get confused at the term "millennial." First, I think of really really old people (1,000 years old?) and then I think oh, people who are involved in hat designing. It really takes me a while to figure out what the fuck a millennial is. How about you just say "dipshit who tucks his/her ears into their baseball cap." I see why you don't say that, it takes too long.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      And then there's the Pre-Millennial/Post-Millennial beef. Be not deceived!! http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/premilpostmil

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Did you know that if you rotate the cap 180 degrees, that flat part will keep the sun out of your eyes?

      • T3rbo

        but if you do that, i think that all of the swag falls off the hat or something?

  • BadKitty904

    But vote rigging, voting machine tampering, and voter intimidation *are* OK, right?

    • Geminisunmars

      Yes. So please continue.

  • ph7

    It is illegal to photograph irregularities!

  • cognachas4paws

    It was the first time my dogs voted so I had to take snapshots – you know, for their memory book. Don't judge me.

  • Estproph

    I'm not going to take a picture of my ballot. I was planning on photocopying it instead.

  • Oblios_Cap

    i'm glad to see Chrysler gave their employees the whole day off to vote.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So I can't take pictures of the legions of New Black Panther's beating up the Whites? That explains why the MSM isn't covering this!

  • proudgrampa

    I have already started celebrating. The campaigning is over! Really enjoying my 3rd Sapphire martini this morning!!!

    YEEEEEEHAAAAAAWWW!!!!!!!

    Go O!!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Wait, I'm voting for pot and to allow the Ghayez to bet married. Isn't my whole ballot already illegal and damned by God?

    • prommie

      Anathema! You are an outcast unclean!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And just so I understand all these modern rules, I can still take a picture of my penis while voting and tweet that, correct?

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      How about pics of you voting with your penis?

    • Esteev

      Can I vote for your penis?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I posted a pic of my ballot — but I voted Clouded Sulphur. Those Lizard People have been a constant disappointment.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I know. You think the Lizard People will finally make a change in government, but then they get into office, and all they do is lay around under heat lamps eating crickets.

  • Disassembly

    I'm not comfortable making fun of millennials today. We need their young blood at the polls. Tomorrow, no problem.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Krystal Ball tweeted a picture of herself voting in a reindeer dildo hat.

    • prommie

      I remember her!

      • SorosBot

        She's now a frequent MSNBC pundit, particularly on Lawrence O'Donnell and Chris Hays, and is awesome still.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        She's on MSNBC all the time, sans dildo.

        • prommie

          Really? Shit, Bruno was right, all it takes to get famous is a sex tape; or a dildo hat faux fellatio pic, I guess.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Yeah, she is on that midday MSNBC show with the 3 other hip Manhattanites (last I heard), and Lawrence O'Donnell has her on practically every night.

          • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

            And sometimes she's even a guest on his show.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Tamron Libel!!

  • rickmaci

    InstaAcorn App !!

  • ttommyunger

    OT: Enjoy, Ohio; tomorrow the whole Country will revert to not giving the slightest fuck about you again (aside from the DOJ Investigations for voting irregularities).