MESSED AROUND AND GOT A TRIPLE DOUBLE  11:48 am November 6, 2012

Obama’s Hip-Hop Election Day Basketball Game Fails To Create Jobs

by Josh Fruhlinger

Sure, I'll tuck my t-shirt into my sweatpants, that's a sexy lookWe don’t want to get into any ugly stereotyping, but one of our major-party candidates for president is working very hard today, voting this morning and then flying to other states, while the other one is just chilling on the South Side of Chicago and playing some hoops with his so-called “home boys.” Do we really need four more years of a president who’s cool and collected? Or do we want someone who votes at the last minute when he could’ve done it weeks ago and then dashes off to states he can’t win just to look like he’s not wasting his donors’ money?

Mitt Romney voted this morning in Belmont, Massachusetts, where he “lives.” There’s no indication in the news coverage that he had his security goons kick ordinary humans out of line so he could vote, but our Editrix heard on Twitter that he did so obviously we’re going to go with that.

Meanwhile, the lamestream media is mum on exactly which ghetto thugs Obama played basketball with as part of his election-day ritual. We’re guessing the game included core members of his crew, like Rahm Emmanuel and Larry Summers. [ABC/WP]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 174 comments }

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 11:51 am

I'd pay a hundred bucks just to see Willard try to dribble twenty feet.

Loch_Nessosaur November 6, 2012 at 11:52 am

He's tall, so he must be in sport. No?

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Yup, just the right height.

miss_grundy November 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Do you reaaly believe that hoop is to scale??

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

You're asking the wrong white man. I can't dribble, shoot OR jump, so I wouldn't know dick about the hoop.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Oh please! He does that nightly after he takes his teeth out.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Now that's a picture I didn't need in my brain.

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Or when Eggs is late with his meds.

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

Mitt and basketball is an even odder pairing than Utah and Jazz.

ChillBill November 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

And just like the Jazz, he'll always be a runner-up.

elviouslyqueer November 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

"This basketball thing… it's very urban, isn't it?"

rickmaci November 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Muy.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Ryan/Compassion?

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

They don't have basketball in the Mormon enclaves of Mexico, so it's not like Mitt grew up on it.

rickmaci November 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Bring'em Young University libel.

FakaktaSouth November 6, 2012 at 11:58 am

I'd pay whatever just to see him GO AWAY. I'm all feisty and shouty today. I want a crying Ann who didn't get her way before the day is over.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

If you don't get your way, I'll be crying right along with Ann.

mayor_quimby November 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Do you think she'll break down like Santorum's daughter in 2008? That would be worth this whole drawn out, wretched election.
I'm right there with you on the shouty thing, there will be random MF'ers thrown around me all day at the slightest provocation.

Chet Kincaid_ November 6, 2012 at 1:53 pm

A Mad Scene would be delicious!

CindynEncinitas November 6, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Obama in the low post and then…BAM! In your fucking face, Plastic Man!

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Yeah, well, Mitt would like to see Barry pin down some dork and cut off his hair!

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Mittens is about to get a major trim.

Chet Kincaid_ November 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Wha–!? Oh, I didn't see your "a".

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Now THAT would be a waste of good trim.

Not_So_Much November 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm
ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Perzackly!

elviouslyqueer November 6, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Dribbling? Please. Everyone knows Willard's a pro at flopping.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 2:04 pm

…and the flipping, don't forget the flipping.

RufusTFirefly November 6, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I'd pay a hundred bucks to see him drool for three feet.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

He's been drooling over his Presidential prospects for years now.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Nostrildamus November 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Twenty feet? Hell, Mitt's been dribbling for two years now.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Looks like for naught, too.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

gullywompr November 6, 2012 at 11:52 am

Swoosh.

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Nothin' but net.

Also, I hope we net a few more (D) congressmen and senators, too.

At least things are looking good for our petite, progressive Pocahontas in MA. Nate Silver has got a high prob (94% !) that she's taking over Scott Brown's seat.

Mumbletypeg November 6, 2012 at 11:52 am

SIDEBAR BAZAAR AD: "One of us. One of us."

Finally, wonkette! The longneck bud's I've been looking for. How much with shipping and handling?

CrunchyKnee November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

It's hard to post up in the paint in magic underwear.

UW8316154 November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Who dat got their hands on mah Barry!

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

And why is it not me???

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 11:58 am

Me!

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

No, me!

K girls and boys, let's not fight. We can haz orgy.

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Orgies for everyone!

proudgrampa November 6, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Today, we ALL got our hands on Barry!

comrad_darkness November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

In the end if you aren't having fun, what's the point? And a president who hates is life his going to make the rest of us miserable indeed.

Tom November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Golf later?

Designer_Rants November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Rahm lost a fingertip slam-dunking.

Cleopatriot November 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Nah, he lost it in a long form improv.

BumbleKid November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Is it ok that I totally have a crush on Bamz?

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 11:58 am

Get in line, bub.

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Ahem.

Nostrildamus November 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Orals to the left, anals to the right. Please have your orifice ready.

red_kira November 6, 2012 at 11:58 am

Only if you are a lady girl. If you are a boy, Mittens doesn't even know you people could *have* crushes!

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

Look, President Obama's been very busy, what with ruining the county, bowing to foreign leaders, being a Socialist/Communist/Kenyan, and divorcing Michelle. The poor man needs a break!

Schmannnity November 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

Your forgot apologizing and killing Ambassador Stevens.

LesBontemps November 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

And demanding revenge.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Plus golf.

raygotaway November 6, 2012 at 1:53 pm

. . . and something, something–Nazis.

memzilla November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Just skew it.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

The President's team beat the Secret Service by twelve points, but they had to unskew it to shut Erick Erickson up, so he only won by two

StillGoinGreen November 6, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Secrete Service Team = Washington Generals

fuflans November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

me personally i hope he's ordering a drone strike to take out romney.

with votes.

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Sanguine votes.

AlterNewt November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Doesn't he have any Presidentey stuff to do? Why won't Obama do President stuff?

nounverb911 November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

He's still done more than either Bush did.

AlterNewt November 6, 2012 at 11:56 am

And without public puking.

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Wait until he has to shake hands with and thank Romney for losing with dignity. Except for those two years of recounts and law suits of course.

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Heh. Maybe once it's a done deal tonight, he'll get his party on and show us his human side. (Blaaaarkkkghhg!)

Naw, I I just don't see it.

FakaktaSouth November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

I love a man who will palm a ball for freedom. Please don't talk about Larry Summers today, I am trying to feel good about what I've done.

Boojum November 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

For you, I will palm two.

FakaktaSouth November 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Woohoo Booj! Look at you all bragging and making Lance Armstrong feel even worse! Hasn't he suffered enough?

Lazy Media November 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

You know who ELSE had only one ball? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler_Has_Only_Got_

Schmannnity November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Romney prefers Monopoly to basketball.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

With both a capital "M" and a lower-case "m"…

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Oh, win.

miss_grundy November 6, 2012 at 12:13 pm

He probably likes shuffleboard and running around in his gold-plated scooter, too.

rickmaci November 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm

…and dancing horse.

ChernobylSoup November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

Jim Croce was full of shit.

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Whatever. I still don't spit into the wind.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 11:54 am

I keep saying this: Obama got this, bro.

ChillBill November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

I don't mean to stereotype people, but I'm pretty sure that Mitt Romney supporters can't jump.

nounverb911 November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

Can they get out of their hoverounds?

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

That would be their government-subsidized hover rounds, ammaright?

T3rbo November 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Ted Nugent can jump over a moose after doing an 8ball, just sayin'

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

You don't *need* to jump when you're on a polo pony.

ChillBill November 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Or riding a unicorn.

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Mitt has supporters even when he's wearing his magic underwear? Boy, talk about suspenders and a belt.

PubOption November 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Meat Loaf certainly can't jump.

SayItWithWookies November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

Basketball?! Why doesn't he ride around on the back of some monster boat off his lakefront estate like a real president would?

Just kidding, of course — if Mitt got elected, it would just crush my dream of smoking a doobie on the White House roof.

smellypossum November 6, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Willie Nelson been there, done that! (the smokin a doobie thing at the WH, maybe the monster boat thing too – but with a doobie also, too).

LesBontemps November 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

You have that dream, too?

MinAgain November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

Do we really need four more years of a president who’s cool and collected?

Is that a trick question?

Clancy_Pants November 6, 2012 at 11:55 am

Mitt's favorite pastime in fact his only hobby is running for President. Tomorrow is going to be the beginning of a very difficult time for Ann.

nounverb911 November 6, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I thought his favorite hobby was visiting his money in Switzerland.

miss_grundy November 6, 2012 at 12:14 pm

No, the Caymans, mon.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Maybe if she got him a metal-detector and some baggy bermuda shorts…

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Now that Mitt's losing his full time job of 8 years (running for office), perhaps he'll turn his energies, like elder statesmen Clinton and Carter, to help out on worldwide charitable causes.

BWHAAA HAHAHAH HAHAAA!!!

I totally kill myself sometimes.

Boojum November 6, 2012 at 11:56 am

This is the same guy who laughed and cracked jokes after ordering bin Laden killed. Ice water freezes when it gets near his veins.

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 11:56 am

Take
it
to
the
hole
!

Lascauxcaveman November 6, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Yeah, that Romney talks a good game, but his shit don't go in.

Crank_Tango November 6, 2012 at 11:56 am

I just realized that the best I can hope for today is 4 more years of the same shit we've been experiencing for the past 4 years. Ugh.

Schmannnity November 6, 2012 at 11:56 am

He's playing against Chris Christie, captain of the skins team.

elviouslyqueer November 6, 2012 at 12:01 pm

And there goes my lunch.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I just threw up in my mouth, a little.

LesBontemps November 6, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Thanks alot. Now I need a sharp stick to poke out my mind's eye.

Nostrildamus November 6, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Insufficient. We need to go back in time and kill the first ancestral vertebrate with photo-receptors. It's the only way to be sure.

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 12:20 pm

He's not just captain of the skins team, he's the owner of the largest skin collection this side of Hoboken.

Goonemeritus November 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

If I had the privilege of saying one thing to our President today it would be “relax dude we’ve got this”.

RomneysLogCabin November 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

typed +1 for sheer awesomeness

Loch_Nessosaur November 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

Basketball, such an urban sport, unlike dancing horses.

SorosBot November 6, 2012 at 11:57 am

I think he's just taunting the racists now; which is awesome.

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Yep, gonna have some fried chicken and watermelon after the game.

LesBontemps November 6, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Wash it down with a 40.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Don't let him intercept that blunt.

CHOOM!

YouBetcha November 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Oh you guys think this is all just fun and games, but you won't be laughing when he shows up to work tomorrow wearing gold chains and a fedora, holding a cane.

SorosBot November 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Now that would rock.

bobbert November 6, 2012 at 3:50 pm

And a clock.

BerkeleyBear November 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I'm hoping Luther the Anger Translator gets to be the next WH Press Secretary.

PugglesRule November 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Oh oh oh! Another Key and Peele fan!

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Taunting racists is like throwing a ball to a labrador retriever. It's fun for the first five minutes but gets real boring for you but not the lab.

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 11:58 am

In event of an electoral tie, Mitt and Barry play a game of one-on-one to 11.

TheMightyHaltor November 6, 2012 at 12:12 pm

In which case Nate Silver gives Barry a 101% chance of winning.

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Better yet, Barry and Mitt each field a team by rotating selections from the Supreme Court. Ruth Bader may be small, but she has a wicked three pointer.

Canmon November 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

But Romney would have Clarence Thomas, and he's probably good at basketball because he's, um,… tall.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Bamz brings a whole new meaning to "Now watch this drive"

CindynEncinitas November 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

It's gotta be the shoes!

mayor_quimby November 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Voted today in Atlanta, took 90 mins and I was only about 50th in line. We really need to fix out voting. They had the exact number of voting machines they had for the primaries (8)
And I split my ticket between straight Dem and Lizard People, for old time's sake. See image – http://imgur.com/h9Zup

LesBontemps November 6, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Meanwhile, the lamestream media is mum on exactly which ghetto thugs Obama played basketball with as part of his election-day ritual. We’re guessing the game included core members of his crew, like Rahm Emmanuel and Larry Summers.

Bill Ayers and Frank Marshall, duh!

miss_grundy November 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

When did the U of Chicago become a ghetto, 'cause tht's Bamz's neighborhood.

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Don't forget Saul Alinksy and Rev. Wright.

coolhandnuke November 6, 2012 at 12:03 pm

The starting five of Romney & Sons would get manhandled by the Facts of Life girls.

rickmaci November 6, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Yah. Whatz up with those kids? They are just about the girliest boys I've ever seen.

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Lazy and shiftless, maybe, but can he make the free throws? That's the question that will decide this election.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

*Free* throws? What are you, socialist? You turn those free throws in immediately so your betters can have them, the folks who deserve free throw cuts!

boskolives November 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm

No, I'm a Kenyan Marxist, but I'm sure that given a chance Romney will monetize it, likely at least .25 a ball to play

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

47% of the population expect free throws.

rickmaci November 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm

He was pretty good off the pick Joe Biden set for him.

MosesInvests November 6, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Off to vote now, y'all. Of course, I'm in Tejas, so my votes for POTUS/VPOTUS, Senate and House don't matter, but at least I can keep some sane people in the Lege and get some local stuff done. Then it's off to have lunch with the cutest 2nd grader in the world. Obamanos, Tejas!

fuflans November 6, 2012 at 12:23 pm

your day will come moses, your day will come.

MosesInvests November 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Update-I ended up going to lunch first, since the line to vote at my precinct was an hour long. Actually voted at my daughter's school-new rule in the People's Republic of Austin is that you can vote anywhere in Travis County. Looks to me like a bigger turnout than 2008, in a state where only Bubba's vote counts for national elections. Poll worker who was working the big early voting site on Friday said that they had people in there until midnight. Enthusiasm gap, my @ss!

smellyal8tr November 6, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I vote in TX too. First time in a long time that I just pulled the D lever and was done with it.

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

All you potheads will be glad to know I voted for medical marijuana here in MA.

DCBloom November 6, 2012 at 12:13 pm

You might rethink that when we all move there….

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I got relatives in Lexing– huh?

djneedlz November 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Heck, I mailed in my ballot for COMPLETE LEGALIZATION OF THE POT two weeks ago here in sunny purple-mountained Colorado. What's taking you Commiewealth commies so long to catch up? Being a recovering Masshole myself, just curious.

CindynEncinitas November 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

This shit right here? You mean this shit right here? This shit right here!

Incitefully_Joe November 6, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I live in a write-in state, so so did I. For congress.

MosesInvests November 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Woooow, maaaan.

Mumbletypeg November 6, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Guy who encountered voting machine neafariousness: "Now this is troubleshooting I can believe in."

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Per Kos: Chrysler is giving its entire workforce the day off to vote.

*Eat* it, Mittens!

anniegetyerfun November 6, 2012 at 12:21 pm

That is brilliant. I wish more companies would do that.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Guess Rmoney's lying about all those Chrysler Jeep jobs being moved to China wasn't such a clever ploy after all…

PubOption November 6, 2012 at 12:24 pm

The real reason is so that the Chinese can come in, and see the equipment that they're buying. Mittens told me.

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Oh, would that be because this is the last time Chrysler workers will get to vote in a U.S. election as employees of said company, per Romney.

Indeed, eat it, Money Boo Boo.

djneedlz November 6, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Lazy unions!

Blueb4sinrise November 6, 2012 at 12:17 pm

OT
Earworm. Getcher earworm, here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH5Arbm47IQ&fe

proudgrampa November 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

It has a beat, and you can dance to it!

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 12:20 pm

If anyone has the stones, Memeorandum is a carnival of right-wing butthurt. But please don't go over if you're gullible or really worried about the election.

fuflans November 6, 2012 at 12:24 pm

maybe tomorrow.

CindynEncinitas November 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Are you worried, Actor? Please tell me not to worry so's I can get some work done…

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Obama got this

CindynEncinitas November 6, 2012 at 3:36 pm

*sniff* thanks.

le petit mort November 6, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Today I didn't even have to make an appearance in AK.

Today was a good day.

smellyal8tr November 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Tell your old man to drag Larry Summers up and down the court for 60 minutes and see how he feels…

Chow Yun Flat November 6, 2012 at 12:32 pm

We voted absentee–my wife had a medical procedure scheduled and I was accompanying her. On the way down Southfield Road we passed a school that had two polling places for the tiny suburb of Lathrup Village. Like Southfield, where we live and which surrounds it, it is majority African American, middle and working class.

At 8:30 AM there were lines out the door from each polling place–must have been 75 people in each line at the time waiting to get in. Four hours later, on the way back, there were still two significant lines. Most the early line looked like black people dressed for work, lots of retired white people later.

I wouldn't be surprised if the President got all the votes cast by those citizens.

Spurning Beer November 6, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I sent in my absentee vote a couple of weeks ago, so I wouldn't have to clog up a booth working my way through a four-page Florida ballot with constitutional amendments on medical methamphetamine and Homo Sapiens marriage.

Thurman Munster IV November 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

They're letting Homo sapiens marry? The horror!

docterry6973 November 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I heard that our so-called President slept over 4 HOURS last night, instead of creating jobs!!

Incitefully_Joe November 6, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Liz Cheney, is that you?

larrykat November 6, 2012 at 12:51 pm

He stone-cold ballin'.

DemonicRage November 6, 2012 at 1:24 pm

It only looks like a basketball game. Actually, it's a strategy session: picking out which foreign lands will be on "Apology Tour II," or whatever the Republicans will call anything that the newly re-elected POTUS does, the day after he is securely re-elected. Campaign 2016 starts 3 seconds after Romney makes his Concession Speech, or sends Rafalka out to tap out the words with his hooves.

PugglesRule November 6, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I had no idea a man of Mittens' size could live comfortably inside a standard post office box.

Serolf_Divad November 6, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Good thing he voted. Imagine if Romney had lost Massachussets by just one vote? Think of how foolish he'd feel.

Geminisunmars November 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Good thing you're good-looking.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Aw,shucks (hangs head, shuffles feet around) Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

goat_thrower November 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

If you take the name Obama, switch a few of the letters around and add some more it spells Hitler.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: