Do stick around for the best part of this (don’t worry, it’s short!) video: where the hot terrifying black man says good morning to the old white lady and opens the door for her. Will the outrages NEVER END?


Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • tihond


  • Come here a minute

    You might think he's being nice to the old white lady, but BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACK BLACKETY BLACK.

    • PugglesRule

      But what if he was BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHETY BLAH??

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh. For Fux Sake.

  • An_Outhouse
    • HELisforHEL

      These people are idiots.Where was their outrage at Rove's operatives in Florida when their hero, the king of the stupids GW Bush was given the election? Oh yeah–he isn't BLAH.
      These 'inspectors' are probably misbehaving, as is the norm for republicans. Their motto seems to be 'if you can't win legitimately, cheat'.

      • An_Outhouse

        I assume these are not 'poll workers' but true-the-voters casuing mayhem. The real poll workers are the trained people who show up before the doors are opened to do a job. They just don't show up wherever, willy nilly.

    • SorosBot

      WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT? Great, now I've followed the link and been sucked into trying to deal with these racist idiots.

  • OMG he's not even yelling ", I WANT MORE ICE TEA."

  • RedneckMuslin

    So what they're saying is is that black people are scary.

  • An Asexual Ungulate

    BLAH PEOPLE? IN MY POLLING SITE? Back in MY day we had SEGREGATED polling, and the polling place for the "others" was actually an empty hole in the ground.

  • Barbara_

    Jesus, these guys must shit themselves with terror every time they pass a hotel in NY City that has a doorman.

  • ChernobylSoup

    When will this oppression end?

  • freakishlywrong

    How the fuck is that intimidation? Oh, wait. Blah.

    • pepperpat

      And the hat. That's a very intimidational hat.

  • I guess she didn't speak jive.

    • delphinedryden

      That…just made me literally LOL. Thank you, I needed a laugh. Also too it is clearly time to rewatch that movie.

      • You are kind to chime in, and right: it is a movie I look forward to seeing how well it's held up over time.

  • Misty Malarky

    Fox just had too much class to show his Mandigo-style ravishment of her whitely honor, which assuredly came later.

    • An Asexual Ungulate

      For free? Usually you have to pay extra for that. Lucky old biddy.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Pin on his lapel: "YES! WE ACCEPT CHIFFAROBES"

  • Disassembly

    And they say chivalry is red.

  • neiltheblaze

    Personally, whenever a Black Panther holds the door open for me, I thank them politely and tell them I hope they have a good day.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Ohhh, the pressure!…

  • memzilla

    So, for fair and balanced, next we'll see footage of Goldman Sachs bankers handing out free food at a Hurricane Sandy emergency shelter, right? Right?

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey it's Election Day, we need some comic relief.

    • Newsriffs

      Selling food to hurricane victims is the republicant's solution of privatized emergency relief. When disaster hits, pull out your Yellow pages, search "Disaster Relief" section, for the company that gives the best deal, and buy as much relief as you can afford. (Your call is important. Due to volume, all our disaster relief representatives are busy, please hold, and have your credit card ready)

      Government disaster relief doesn't give flood victims "choice", which people will always prefer, over one-size-fits-all, governmentalized help.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    What the fuck…

    Oh wait, it's "What the Fox…"
    So, never mind.

  • I see their numbers have dwindled by 2/3

  • Goonemeritus

    A pretty tuff looking Amish buggy was circling my polling place this morning. I just bought a whoopee pie and went in and voted.

    • tessiee

      Upfisted solely for the use of the word "tuff".

      • emmelemm

        Tuff Turf!

    • PugglesRule

      Obviously looking for an entrepreneurial opportunity, because the Amish usually don't vote. (Well, not the ones who are in good standing. Maybe the ones who did the Rumspringa thing as teens and didn't go back.)

  • kittensdontlie

    The Black Panthers also were the cause of the demoralizing loss for the Eagles last night.

    • SorosBot

      And here I thought Andy Reid was a white Mormon.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Black Panthers? Try Green Eagles.

    • L_Daddy

      there are some things that you really shouldn't joke about. :(

  • Shouldn't that homeless beggar be holding a paper coffee cup for tips? That's what they do at my ATM.

  • Politeness is the New Intimidation, Honky!

    • mrpuma2u

      Radical brothah-man door man LIBELZ!!!!

  • OkieDokieDog

    Oh white Jeebus, save us! Blah panther Muslin brothers in the hood!

  • ph7

    Something about that hat. Whether on Monica or a Black Panther, that hat makes the wingnuts go crazy.

    • kittensdontlie

      I love my freedom béret.

      • ph7

        The kind you find in a second hand store?

    • zumpie

      I better not let them see Miss zumpie, jr, aged 12, then, She wears her "paramilitary" black beret every day, now. Because she thinks she's a beatnik. Her not quite five feet, intimidating, middle schooler ass wouldn't be nearly so polite to old ladies, I'm sorry to admit.

      • pepperpat

        I have no doubt Miss Zumpie Jr. would scare the crap out of those pussy Republicans.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I've got one like that I wear on really cold days. Those days I also wear my long wool car coat and stuff a fresh baguette in my pocket pretending pretending I'm French, looking to bum a Gauloises off of somebody.

  • MissusBarry

    There are only two appropriate reactions to somebody opening a door for you: abject terror or feminazi rant.

    • Lazy Media

      This is what's great about Southern liberals. At the Wonkers event, I opened the door for a lovely young lesbian to whom I had not yet been introduced, and she thanked me. She opened the second door for me, and I thanked her. It's all about manners, y'all.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Like either of these two ass clowns would know what 'parade rest' even means seeing that it's a military term. Hope they want to see all the poll watcher's papers at minority voting sites.

    • T3rbo

      hahaha, he's at parade rest with his arms in front of him, moving around. Parade rest, for everyone but Texan_Bulldog, means that you stand with your legs shoulder width apart, arms behind your back, hands interlocked. Your head does not move, and most importantly, you look straight forward AND YOU DO NOT MOVE YOUR EYES. It is not a very intimidating posture, considering that you cannot move and you have to stare straight ahead. It's more of a submissive posture-when a high ranking non-commissioned officer enters a room or addresses you, you assume this posture if you are a lower ranking enlisted person (non-officer). For non-commissioned officers, you assume this posture as a sign of respect when addressed by someone who outranks you, or if someone who is a really big deal but is not an officer addresses you or your formation, you assume this posture as a recognition of that person's rank. But whatever, I've only had to learn how to do this for so long that your peripheral vision starts to fade

    • CommieLibunatic

      Would you expect more from these armchair generals?

  • Hey Boy! let me see your poll watching card.

  • Schmannnity

    Doocey: "Some say it looks like intimidation." What a Doocey bag.

    • Misty Malarky

      Doocy looks like a douche bag filled with Romney/Rafalca santorum…some say.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate about it.

    • Jerri

      Nervous white dudes say that.

  • cognachas4paws

    Only conservatives are allowed to intimidate voters.

    • freakishlywrong

      And be President, evidently.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Oh, I pray he only pulled that door 3/5ths of the way open.

  • pinkocommi

    That black panther is as black as the Faux News commentators are racist as fuck.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    It's already been done, but I'll throw in my two cents: OH MY GOD BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!

  • Here's hoping Faux Newz' Peter Johnson and his comb-over enjoy a moment of tight embrace like Isadora Duncan and her scarf. A new spin on the hanging chads as it were.

  • elviouslyqueer

    "I want to see his poll watcher card."

    No no. Not until you produce your "racist douchebag card" first, dickwipe.

  • RomneysLogCabin

    I was so scared of black scary black guy that I vote twice for black.

  • magma_girl

    Scary, scary black man…eeeeeek!

  • ChrisM2011

    Black Panther: "How do you do, ma'am?"

    Tea Party Old Lady #1: "What did he say?"

    Tea Party Old Lady #2: "He, said, 'How would you like to DIE, ma'am???""

  • AnAmericanInTO

    These New Black Panther guys only show up once every four years, huh? They're like the election day equivalent of Puxatawney Phil.

    By now, they're less a threat to our nation's white women and more of a lovable tradition.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    He sure seems to have scared away the voter intimidators !

  • Katydid

    O/T…In other black black blackety black, and some Latins, news, a look inside the mind of the GOP establishment today (via an Ezra Klein tweet):

    For them and their voting-bloc constituents, [voting for Barry and the Dems] is payback time: payback for slavery and segregation; payback for poverty; payback for foreign wars; payback for restrictive immigration laws.

    IOW, black black black blackety black, Latins.

    • freakishlywrong

      Payback's a bitch, aint' it?

    • Honestly, if black folk actually DID want to extract "payback" for three centuries of slavery, another century of out-right terrorism, countless massacres, acts of cultural destruction, theft, rape and abuse, that all MIGHT look JUST A BIT different from a modest expansion of private insurance and a law that lets women sue for pay discrimination.

      I honestly think these guys' greatest fear is that minorities will wake up one day and ACTUALLY realize how much white conservatives have gotten over on them throughout history, and extract REAL payback.

      Personally, I prefer the liberal version of White Guilt, as at least the dominant message there is not, "BE AFRAID OF ALL BLACK PEOPLE ALL THE TIME THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU".

    • emmelemm


  • prommie

    They can't even make up new lies? They have to recycle the 2008 lies? Man, the Fox is totally out of ideas, aren't they?

  • Oh god the blackness…

  • editor

    legal analyst peter johnson jr.? are they kidding? and he wants to see this man's "poll watching card"? this is just sad.

  • second_gen

    "It appears that he's at parade rest. . ."

    Um, no, no he's not. He's standing there, with his hands folded in front of him. Not parade rest, but clearly meant to intimidate. I'm assuming he is folding his hands because he forgot his police baton or other, similarly intimidatey weapon that all black men carry.

    • Or if he left his hands at his side or behind him in true parade rest fashion, his penis would scare the white men off.

      Oddly, white women would vote in droves…

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Only a GOPer can hear "parade rest" and think about the Macy's Day Parade.

    • zumpie

      Along with the bones of white people he ate and made a nice necklace from

    • tessiee

      "his police baton or other, similarly intimidatey weapon that all black men carry"

      This is one of the more subtle dick jokes I've seen today.

  • Lazy Media

    So now good posture means you're in a military-style stance? You don't hold your hands in front of you at parade rest. Odds that Peter J. Johnson Jr. served in the military?

    • Redundant = Peter Johnson
      And I'm sure he spent as much time in the military as Marion Morrison (A.K.A. John Wayne) did, not counting the time when he was in a uniform costume while on the stage at the RKO studios. Or wherever. Too.

    • bobbert

      I was, of course, going to say "zero", but on reflection it might be 2 or 3%. It's always possible that he was so untrainable that he was discharged before they got to parade rest.

  • Lazy Media

    Ohhhhhhhh, you don't have to call me Johnson. My name is Peter J. Johnson Jr. You can call me Pete, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Pete-Jay, or you can call me PJ, or you can call me PJJ, or you can call me PJJ Jr., or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Juney. But ya doesn't have to call me Johnson!

  • Isn't the Chemical Bank on this block?

  • Anybody want to bet there was a blind casting notice last week in the Backstage for a stocky Philly based black man for a one day street theatre performance?

  • LiberalMermaid

    Fox found a librul conspiracy. Now the day can begin.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Good thing. Because after today, you will never hear a GOPer talk about Benghazi again.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Those two truly deserve a cordial visit from a few Black Panthers. Or even actual panthers. Or both.

  • How bizarre is it that FOX has an actual anal-yst named Peter Johnson?

    "Prick Dickwad" was unavailable?

    • Mittens Howell, III

      His friends call him 'tiny'.

    • prommie

      Biggus Dickus?

    • tessiee

      Peter O'Toole was already somebody's name.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    I don't know, what's it look like to you? It appears that he is black but not really a panther, so, I don't think he's going to gut me and feast on my still breathing body.

    • delphinedryden

      He is CLEARLY a werepanther. But since full moon is over, of course, he's slyly hiding for the rest of the month in his human form.


  • OneDollarJuana

    Actually, it's the old ladies with their rapier-like canes that intimidate me.


      (Actually, she terrified me in that role. I remember having nightmares for days after watching it)

  • PubOption

    He looks more like an old Black Panther.

  • zumpie

    I'm almost sad that I live in a completely blue state, with 100% mail in voting. I would love to have a fly New Black Panther open the door for me. Or tell a wingnut on a hoverround to go fuck themselves. I'd do it even if they left me alone (middle aged, middle class white lady here) just on principal.

    • UW8316154

      "I would love to have a fly New Black Panther open the door for me. "

      I'm in the same situation (maybe the same state, Washington?), but I'm tellin' ya, if that nice looking black fellow opened the door AND gave me a wink, Handsome Joe wouldn't be my best boyfriend any more.

      • zumpie

        Actually, Oregon, but basically the same thing. I'm sorry to say, I would be just as fickle as yourself in such a situation…..

        Oh, BTW, on mail in ballots, I'll assume it enjoys the same widly overwhelming bi-partisan support in WA, that it does here? Cause I learned yesterday that the Oregon State Republican Party actually opposes it and wants to repeal it (I suppose what with it keeping a blue state blue, saving $$$$ and making it easy to vote and all..). Which is hilarious since 75% of Oregon Republicans like it.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          It's like Motor-Voter (asking people if they want to register to vote when they get their driver's license renewed). Anything that make it easier to vote the Republican pols hate.

        • UW8316154

          Also, too, with mail-in, you can't program the voting machines to make every vote for Barack a vote for Mitt. (see new post above). And there is no waiting in lines or mis-identifying polling locations and times.

          No wonder mail-in isn't popular with Republicans.

    • emmelemm

      Same deal… I'd actually LIKE to go to a voting place and start some shit. However, since anywhere that I'd likely be voting would be like 90% white anyway, no Republican operatives would bother.

  • Schmannnity

    Nor Dick Shaft.

    • prommie

      Throbbing, purple-veined phallus?

  • UW8316154

    Oh don't you worry, Fox News, I'm sure people just think he's the doorman.

  • I was first in line and got through fine, but the little old white lady vote taker moved like my grandparents fuck, so I'm thinking that those in line when I left may be able to cast their vote for Hillary 2016 before going home.

    • prommie

      Don't be making fun of how grandparents fuck. Its too close for comfort, for me.

      • Sorry, I should have used "fucked" as in past tense, since they are blowing dust farts now, and I'm also too close for comfort.

    • tessiee

      "the little old white lady vote taker moved like my grandparents fuck"

      I'm OK with your grandparents fucking, but I'm a bit disturbed that they let (or MAKE???) you watch.

  • prommie

    I am all skritchy and testy and edgy and stabby as all hell today. What the fuck, ya know? My coworkers are all babbling and talking talking talking, like they can't fucking think unless they think out loud, and they have to say everything they are thinking three fucking times before they fucking get it. Its times like these I am glad I generally go about unarmed. Anyone else ever notice that stupid people seem to LIKE noise? Just fucking chattering away to hear themselves talk and its all sooooooo fucking stupid. Aaaarrrrggggghhhhhh. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I need morning whisky today. Or some shit. Looks like I picked a bad day not to be a heroin addict.

    • Assume metal detectors at the door.

    • Anyone else ever notice that stupid people seem to LIKE noise?

      They are scared to be alone w/ their own thoughts rattling around in their heads.

  • ttommyunger

    I, for one, welcome our new dark-skinned, polite and borderline servile overlords.

  • I watched it with the sound down — and all I saw was someone talking to that constantly-smiling idiot fellow while a film played of a nice guy holding a door open. It's like these people don't even know there's an election on.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Mr. Panther here is hustling for job, is all. He heard the old guy who is the current doorman at the Philadelphia Four Seasons is retiring soon, and well, any gig in this economy is a sweet gig.

  • bfddad

    Get these motherf@cking voters out of this motherf@cking voting site (said like an angry Samuel L. Jackson). It sounded better in my head than it reads in print.

  • prommie

    I want to be a Panther and have a girlfriend named Samantha,
    I don't want to be a fucked up middle class college student anymore
    I just want to have a stable of Fox Network Whores
    Oh, I wanna be black!

  • Newsriffs

    It's that "semi-military, parade-rest" stance. We like our colored doormen to bow their heads when they open the door for old white ladies.

  • e_z

    Parade Rest the arms are joined behind the back, the feet are separated at shoulder width and you remain motionless.. So it's obviously not parade rest.

    But it's still scary business indeed! Especially since yesterday the folks on the crusty couch lionized the leader of a self appointed group of 'former SEALS' who will be "watching the polls" to insure those dark folks don't go ravaging the white wimmins.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    In 2008, I very much enjoyed watching the Faux Newz blowhards concede the White House to Obama. I'm going to find myself a bar with a TV tuned to Faux tonight*, and I'm going to enjoy it much, much more this time around.

    * If I can't find an ironic hipster bar, I may have to go to Staten Island.

  • BarackMyWorld


    Oh, there it is.

  • Aridzona

    Peter Johnson — Department of Redundancy Department.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    Fox News crawl: "Fear of a Black Planet: Election 2012."

  • pepperpat

    OMG those poor unsuspecting ladies fell for the ol' holding the door open intimidation method. Now doomed to vote New Black Panther Demoncrat Nazi Commie Kenyan Muslim Socialist Illegal Alien China Party the rest of their short miserable Medicare-extended lives.

  • BornInATrailer

    Ah-hahahahaha.. Oh live feed, you are a harsh mistress.

  • BornInATrailer

    Also: "Ah, good morning, ma'am. And isn't it a lovely morning?"

    • "Of course you'll have the good sense not to mention that I let you hold the door open for me."

  • a_pink_poodle

    He just opened those doors for those old ladies… MENACINGLY!

  • I'm actually pretty sure that Scary Big Black Man was merely being polite to those white women in an attempt to fornicate with them.


  • anniegetyerfun

    Parade rest? Needs more massive trombone.

  • harumpa

    Driving while Black (DWB) is a probable cause and now opening a door while Black (ODWB)….

  • Standing at parade rest? A military-like stance? Really? Obviously, the fat little bald man was never in the military.

  • redarmyzombie

    Hey, I wish *I* had Black Panthers at MY voting place…

Previous articleHere Is Joe Biden Standing In Line Like A Boss
Next articleNoted Historian Sarah Palin Thinks Barack Obama Is Just Like Robespierre, If She Knew Who Robespierre Was