STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE  9:39 am November 6, 2012

Here Is Joe Biden Standing In Line Like A Boss

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Joe the patient courteous non-line-cutting BidenSee that old gray haired man with his back to us, the one who looks really old (and probably handsome, we are just guessing)? That is Joe Biden. We can tell it is Joe Biden because standing next to him is his hot piece of a wife, Dr. Jill. Do you see what they are doing? They are standing in line to exercise their constitutional right to the franchise! No clearing everybody out of line and telling them to come back when the VIPs are done voting for them! (COUGH ROMNEY COUGH.)

Nope, they’re just cold bein’ courteous and patient Real Merkins, the kind what stand in line with common Delaware rubes. Have you stood in line today? We are voting at the Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row, just as soon as our son wakes up to go first-time-voting with us. We are looking forward to the first-time-votingness! (We will take pictures! Of our son voting! And probably homelesses!) We are not looking forward to the Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row. Los Angeles’s Skid Row is a fucking disgrace.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 144 comments }

tihond November 6, 2012 at 9:41 am

The photo is carefully cropped so you can't tell that he drove his Trans Am into the polling place.

CalvinsChoice November 6, 2012 at 9:46 am

He has a Corvette but the secret service won't let him drive it. For real.

tihond November 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Why is the man always keeping Biden down?

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

UNLEASH JOE BIDEN!

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

In fairness, he kept popping donuts in the Rose Garden

RomneysLogCabin November 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

and those are tear-away pants.

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

Edible pants.

One_who_wanders November 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

As compared to all those fancy Skid Rows in other cities?

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

Hey, we wear spats on our Skid Row!

mille derps November 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

Godfrey? 'Zat you?

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

Putting on the Ritz, my man!

bobbert November 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Nice call and response there.

Terry November 6, 2012 at 9:46 am

Most other cities have the sense not to call their particularly rough section "Skid Row".

commiegirl99 November 6, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I dunno. Do those other Skid Rows have thousands and thousands of people living on the street in a few square blocks?

gullywompr November 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Well, Jersey City is giving LA a little competition these days, although there that area is know as "Bon Jovi".

ChernobylSoup November 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

"Joe, quit playing with the buttons and just pick one!"

-Jill

LIT_Fag November 6, 2012 at 10:31 am

I've seen his polling place, and…..

BoatOfVelociraptors November 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

I am unsure as to how much a trans am will expedite the vote.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

He can do a GOTV drive-by of some hot senior citizens

weejee November 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

It might help BoV. There's something about the deep rumble of a small tap on the throttle of a dual exhaust V8 (clutch in, obvs) the clears a crosswalk of blinking orange hand jaywalkers.

Botlrokit November 6, 2012 at 9:43 am

He should brush against the lady in front and gank her wallet.

Pookums November 6, 2012 at 9:43 am

If I were standing in line with him I'd gently cup his buttocks and then laugh heartily as he turned around to glare in an accusatory fashion. I'd then hook my thumb at his wife whilst wearing my best "wasn't me" facial expression.

I'd then offer him a nip of bourbon from my silver flask and hearty backslaps would ensure.

'MERICA.

RomneysLogCabin November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

someone's been reading 50 Shades…

Pookums November 6, 2012 at 9:57 am

Negative, 50 Shades read ME.

Living in Joy November 6, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Me too. I love Joe Biden.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:43 am

Editrix, you didn't use the article I sent you? The one about Biden hinting at a 2016 run?

*GASP*

What is the world coming to?

ChillBill November 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

He's totally hitting on that woman with the red coat.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

But he's got Hot Dr. Jill right beside him!

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

That may be *why* Dr. Jill is right beside him.

actor212 November 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

Threesome?

Ooooh….I'm sweaty now. I'm getting ideas for slash/fic featuring Jill, Michelle, Joe and a Trans Am cross-country trip

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

Did you see Michelle last night? She looked fantastic.

ChillBill November 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

"I tell you what I'd do with a million dollars: two chicks at the same time!"

Maman November 6, 2012 at 10:32 am

That woman looked horrified to realize she was going to be on tv. Of course, 7am is rarely anyone's best look.

UW8316154 November 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

Voted!! Now I just hold my breath and put my faith in Nate Silver.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

Hail Nate, full of grace. The forecast is with you.
Blessed art thou among math geeks, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, 538.com
Holy Nate, Father of Statistics, pray for us voters,
Now and in the hour of our ballot.

bearperney November 6, 2012 at 10:34 am

In Nate Silver We Trust!

Barbara_ November 6, 2012 at 9:44 am

I love when people take their children to the polling place. Teach them young about their civic duty. Cool stuff right there.

missemish November 6, 2012 at 9:48 am

My mother always took me. It seemed like a very important, mysterious, and magical event. Of course those were the days when the voting booth looked like the Wizard of Oz's operating booth.

Barbara_ November 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

Good morning, Missemish! Your mother is a good woman. I always took my daughter, Christine with me. One year my Victoria asked, "Are we here to see the sweaty gladiators?" No baby, that's when we go to see a hockey game.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

My Granddad always said "If you're going to be a citizen, you're going to vote." Period.

Barbara_ November 6, 2012 at 10:01 am

BadK, may I call you BadK? Lol.
When Jeff and I voted here in New Mexico there was a Hispanic woman in line behind me. She had her ID out and ready and was trying to show it to the polling volunteer who told her that she should put it away, "You don't need that to be able to vote." I smiled and the woman and she busted out laughing and then gave me a big bear hug. It was very touching.

Voting is cool and your grandfather rocks!

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 10:17 am

Awwwwwwwwwwwww…

I'll admit this is the second presidential election I've been old enough to vote in and, at the risk of sounding like a total jackass, it *still* makes me feel very grown-up and proud.

My bf just got back from the polls and is heading to his office. He made a point of wearing, while voting, the religious medal his late grandfather wore when he smuggled his family out of Castro's Cuba and came to this country to escape tyranny. Joaquin says it will "bring good luck today and Our Lady will bless the President…"

justkillmenow November 6, 2012 at 10:19 am

OMG you're making me tear up. That is completely awesome.

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:36 am

"at the risk of sounding like a total jackass, it *still* makes me feel very grown-up and proud"

That would only make you sound like a total jackass if you'd voted for those other guys.

Fare la Volpe November 6, 2012 at 12:46 pm

D'awww, now you're making me all gooey mushy.

Or maybe it's just the wine.

kyeshinka November 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

My mom took me to our polling place in 1984. I said, "We're voting for Mondale, right?" "No, shut up, get in the car or no Jello pudding pops for you." Now she's a socialist who thinks Obama's to the right of Pinochet, so something magical happened that day.

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 10:06 am

I took my 92-year-old, World War II veteran father-in-law to the polls. Until 2008, he had been a lifelong Republican, and he used to tease me for being a yellow-dog Democrat. We early voted this year, and when we got into the room, a poll person was showing him how to use all the fancy dials. He kind of yells if he doesn't think people can hear him, so I hear throughout the room, "Just show me where to vote straight Democratic ticket. I want straight Democratic." God love him.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

When my kids were little I always took them, until one year some idiot told me that not only were they not allowed to come into the booth with me, they were not allowed actually into the room and would have to wait outside (literally, outside). Kids were 3 and 6 and she wanted them to wait OUTSIDE. This gave me the opportunity to explain to my children how you go about reporting poll workers who were violating the law. In front of her. Which we did when we got home. (It's not illegal to bring your minor children into the booth with you.) I love civics.

weejee November 6, 2012 at 10:08 am

Mrs. weejee & I have a sad 'cause Washington State has gone to mail-in ballots and closed the polls. We loved walking up the hill to TT Minor grade school, rubbin' elbows with our neighbors, and happily waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Methuselah to check the list and give us our ballots. Good times!!

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:38 am

'Washington State has gone to mail-in ballots and closed the polls"

I'd be a lot more serene right now if that were true of Ohio.

HELisforHEL November 6, 2012 at 10:10 am

That's what my Mom did (along with taking me along when she worked on Crazy Uncle Joe's early campaigns back in the day). Gave me the vision of how democracy works, and I'll always appreciate that she did it.

dinkybossetti November 6, 2012 at 10:34 am

I took my husband to the polling place. He's not a child, but it's kind of the same thing because he can't vote but wanted to see what goes on.

bobbert November 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm

My dad always took me with him until I was 13 or so.. This was back in the telephone booth era, and I can still remember the sense of awe I felt when the curtain closed and he started flicking all the little switchy things. When I was tall enough, he let me set some of the switches, and pull the big voting lever. It was cooler than pulling the handle on a slot machine.

Terry November 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

On a side subject, Joe must pay some money for his suits. They're tailored to fit him well and the fabric always looks nice. Jill must have made him stop shopping at the Men's Warehouse.

CrunchyKnee November 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

The dandy in me has to point out that his trousers are a bit too long, but the coat does rock.

mbatch November 6, 2012 at 10:09 am

The long trousers are to show he's a Man Of the People. Not like some people we know ::cough, MIttens, cough::

Terry November 6, 2012 at 10:27 am

Maybe he's supposed to be wearing his ankle boots with the Cuban heel with those pants.

bearperney November 6, 2012 at 10:36 am

I don't know Crunchy, the trousers are breaking across the shoe front just about right; any little bit longer in the back though and he would be dragging Irish pennants in no time.

mille derps November 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

That can't be Old Handsome Joe Biden- he's not touching anybody!

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

And no biker chick on his lap.

kyeshinka November 6, 2012 at 10:35 am

Not physically, but those dreamy Sinatra eyes could undress an Inuit from ten miles away.

Schmannnity November 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

Joe said after voting that it will not be the last time he votes for himself. 2016 began today.

Zango Crudmonger November 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

OHJB may not cut a line, but he will cut a bitch! Lookin' at you, Ryan.

jodyleek November 6, 2012 at 9:45 am

Joe, take off that heavy coat so I can cop a feel while I stand behind you in line, m'kay? Then, after we vote, let's blow this popsicle stand and I'll show you my special "poling" place.

eggsacklywright November 6, 2012 at 9:46 am

Son Vote. There's a band name that might appeal to Jay Farrar.

PubOption November 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

I think it's lacking a little in electricity.

Estproph November 6, 2012 at 9:47 am

Note that there are no republican officials pictured voting in any lines. Lines are for democrats only.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

They lack the common touch… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/05/amira-na

kyeshinka November 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

You know who else used to stand in line? Russians. That makes democrats like Russians, or if you will, socialists. Wow. Being a Republican would make the world an easier place to understand.

freakishlywrong November 6, 2012 at 9:49 am

*Kisses* to that gaffetastic man! I love me some handsome Joe.

CrunchyKnee November 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

Dems, they are just so damn polite, and shit.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

Just like real people.

You'd think the Repugs would catch onto that eventually…

Sue4466 November 6, 2012 at 9:50 am

Sorry to be such a sap, but I love this picture.

EatsBabyDingos November 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

David Vitter has a trophy shelf with all his favorite diapers. Innocently, it, too, is called "Skid Row."

Guppy November 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

Joe is even able to vote Democrat in a Catholic Church without bursting into flames!

deanbooth November 6, 2012 at 9:52 am

Those flags look foreign. I hope Joe is in the right polling location.

qwerty42 November 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

OMG. Irish, Italian and … Papal?

Goonemeritus November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

I voted in my rural polling place a little after 6am. My big fear is that because of my crummy eyesight I may have voted for Pat Buchanan.

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

You may have re-elected James Buchanan.

Fare la Volpe November 6, 2012 at 10:20 am

Just so long as it wasn't the Cannon Sisters.

SigDeFlyinMonky November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

Invite the Publicans to their Auto de Fe… with votes!

RedneckMuslin November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

Wonder who he's voting for?

Disassembly November 6, 2012 at 10:03 am

Aerosmith.

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 10:13 am

Hitler!

Oh, wait, wrong joke….

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:46 am
kittensdontlie November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

One of my 'neighbors' cut in front of the line at the polls this morning. Those people should not be allowed to vote(assuming they are Republican).

kyeshinka November 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

I'm sure he had "jobs to create."

FlipFlopFuck November 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

Skid Row? I thought that would be the new line of magic panties at wonkettebazaar.com.

Lazy Media November 6, 2012 at 10:31 am

Ew! (but I upfisted)

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:42 am

As long as it's not skidmark row.

BoroPrimorac November 6, 2012 at 9:54 am

I love that fucking guy.

Studebaker Hawk November 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

I just voted and there were SO MANY SCARY BLACK PANTHERS inside the polling place!!!1!!1! Actually, they were more like Grey Panthers. Well, they had grey hair, anyway. What I’m trying to say is that the poll workers and most of the voters were really old.

mbatch November 6, 2012 at 10:14 am

Hey, retired people have the time to spend the day at the polls, bless them.

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:46 am

Studebakers are awesome.
That is all.

Lot_49 November 6, 2012 at 9:55 am

Beloved Editrix, why do you not do exercise laid back California option of being a "Permanent Absentee" voter, by mail?

There are two good reasons to do this:

(1) it sounds like you're always gone, physically or otherwise;

(2) it reduces human contact, which is always desirable; and

(3) it allows you to vote a full month before Election Day.

Okay, there were three….

For example, in the 2003 goobernatorial recall that gave us the gift of Schwarzenegger, I was able to vote in early ignorance for Cruz Bustamonte because his utter idiocy had not yet been revealed. Viva la Reconquista!

ph7 November 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

Joe Scarborough is checking IDs at the front of the line.

ChrisM2011 November 6, 2012 at 9:58 am

See all those trophies? Biden won those in kissing contests.

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 10:17 am

mmmmmmm….

gullywompr November 6, 2012 at 2:15 pm

He won first, second AND third.

Not_So_Much November 6, 2012 at 9:59 am

When I go to my precinct of only white mormons, there will be no line. And even though I'll be the only non-Romney vote for hunnerts of miles around, it will all be friendly and courteous and since there will be more than 3 of them in one spot, there's a good chance there will be some green Jell-O with carrot slices in it as a refreshment. (don't ask)

Steverino247 November 6, 2012 at 11:29 am

Voting from behind the Zion Curtain!!!

tracyhasfun November 6, 2012 at 1:14 pm

No grape jello with grapes? And marshmallows? Kinda runny?

VeraSevera November 6, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Hey lime green jello with shredded carrots is a time honored comfort food of my homeland–Montana–you can't tar that with a Mormon brush! Those polyglamot illegal immigrants stole it from us!

widestanceromance November 6, 2012 at 10:01 am

Is he standing in line to bow to a Saudi king?

NellCote71 November 6, 2012 at 10:10 am

First stage in his apology tour.

Mojopo November 6, 2012 at 10:02 am

Congratulations to your son, Rebecca! I voted last week and it was JAM PACKED. We had a record turn-out in Cook County for early voting.

Mittens Howell, III November 6, 2012 at 10:04 am

Joe Biden, valiantly not checking out the ass of the woman in front of him.

HouseOfTheBlueLights November 6, 2012 at 10:05 am

I'm glad to see somebody besides me dresses up to vote.

Mittens Howell, III November 6, 2012 at 10:06 am

Joe Biden is one of Nate Silver's 92 percenters!

widestanceromance November 6, 2012 at 10:08 am

I just voted wearing my Palin/Apocalypse t-shirt and it was so good, I needed a cigarette afterward. I can still smell that sweet Diebold honey on my fingers.

jamsie25 November 6, 2012 at 10:10 am

Got to my polling place early and there was already a line. No problems, no assholes asking for ID, which really surprised me. I expected them to ask and I didn't get to say "sorry, but no thanks". It's like the efforts of the GOP in PA to suppress voters never happened. No magic underwear fan boy thugs on the sidewalk challenging people. But maybe the trouble makers don't get up early?

I hope everyone's voting experience goes as well as mine did.

Dr_Zoidberg November 6, 2012 at 10:12 am

I voted!!! There was a line, and somehow my name wasn't on the polls, but I re-registered in, like, a minute, and cast my vote for ol' Handsome Joe and that cute black guy who's running with him.

Designer_Rants November 6, 2012 at 10:15 am

Here's my kids at Grampa Joe's rally last week. The one in the middle isn't mine. My daughter was so disgusted with the loudness and the fact that snacks weren't served that I believe she's now a lifelong Republican.

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 10:18 am

Tell her repubs would cut funding for all non essential snacking. What is she, waiting for a handout?

Oh, and btw- CUTE!!!

Designer_Rants November 6, 2012 at 10:25 am

Well, she was acting like an intransigent Republican when I tried to explain to her that the other party's rallies aren't any better. She didn't seem to care to listen, even.

mbatch November 6, 2012 at 10:18 am

Colorado has vote by mail. You register when you get your driver's license. Despite our dickwad Secretary of State (currently being investigated by the Jeffco DA for misuse of funds), we still vote in large numbers. After twenty-plus years in Texas, I'm still sort of stunned by the whole thing.

tracyhasfun November 6, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Warshington state does too! But now nice Oregon Republican Moms are committing electoral fraud! Yoiks!

pinkocommi November 6, 2012 at 10:18 am

I hope all the folks on skid row vote.

commiegirl99 November 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Oh they do.

starfanglednut November 6, 2012 at 10:21 am

Off to vote here in Boston, Assachusetts. Not a Romney voter in sight. The voting is actually held in the building where I live. In 2008, I blasted Stevie Wonder out my back window over the heads of people standing in line. It was awesome. Keep your fingers crossed for Hopey!

Sharkey November 6, 2012 at 10:27 am

Hey little blond kid: YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH YET!

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:51 am

I know you meant it as a compliment, but that's not a respectful way to address Dr. Jill Biden.

Lazy Media November 6, 2012 at 10:29 am

You go
Downtown
Where the folks are broke.
Downtown
Where your life's a joke.
Downtown
When you buy your token,
you go
Home to skid row.

tessiee November 6, 2012 at 10:32 am

"We will take pictures!"

Yeah, well, maybe you (and everybody else) should take pictures of your ballot, while you're at it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdpGd74DrBM&fe

Maman November 6, 2012 at 10:34 am

My girl couldn't vote today, but one of her classmates did… Nothing like watching a kiddie exercising the franchise for the first time! Have fun, Rebecca!

boobookitteh November 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

I voted! And I did a happy Snoopy dance as I voted for Elizabeth Warren!

And also for Medical Marijuana!

bearperney November 6, 2012 at 10:39 am

Any politician who is not afraid to bounce a biker gal on his knee, in full view of the biker guys, will never have a problem standing in line with the hoi polloi.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 10:42 am

Obviously not Florida: no pull-up bars, obstacle course or paper bags (for pigmentation testing).

tracyhasfun November 6, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Or 7 hour wait times. But, Ricky sez "alles gut" there in FL; it's all vote-y n shit.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Ricky is a humongous dick and belongs in prison.

rocktonsam November 6, 2012 at 10:50 am

my daughter and me got to meet O H J Friday at the rally in Beloit Wisconsin. So cool this guy. He told my daughter she had a smile that can go for miles and he hope her dad built a tall fence around our house. Shooks hands and had a picture with him. What a day except for the assholes with the posters of dead fetuses that kept on saying Obama is a baby killer and that freaked out the kids going school. USA!

Cripes!

SheriffRoscoe November 6, 2012 at 10:51 am

Being the Veep affords one the luxury to stand around, waiting in lines. They have literally nothing to do.

fuflans November 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

you know these posts make me hopeful for america.

people loving taking their civic duty seriously.

as i voted in like early august i must find something else to do (anyone know of a harrass 'true the vote' effort in IL?). otherwise me and the ramones will be stuck together all day.

MissTaken November 6, 2012 at 11:05 am

There's no time like the first time. Mine was for Clinton. I still have fond memories. Have fun!

Eve8Apples November 6, 2012 at 11:15 am

Will they be handing out those trophies to the winners after the votes are counted?

natoslug November 6, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Okay, I've been back in California for two and a half years, and they're STILL checking my ID and giving me a provisional ballot every time I vote? This is totes like the opening of Dachau and the release of police dogs in Birmingham combined, and I'm a white guy! Even worse, there was one other person in front of me in the line, and he stayed there yapping for a good three minutes about the weather. Next year I'm voting by mail and living without the keen "I Voted" sticker.

DocChaos November 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Maybe you try registering before you vote – just saying.

natoslug November 6, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Well, as I tried to state earlier, before our editrix decided that a post that lacked foul language, snark, references to Palin children and wishes for bodily harm or death was unacceptable, I am registered, and meet the HAVA requirements for not having to provide ID.

DocChaos November 6, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Here in sunny southern California I had to wait four goddamn minutes to vote, as the three people in line in front of me took their own sweet time. The big issue here: Measure B – condoms for porn actors – will dudes vote their own self-interest after telling wives and girlfriends they are voting yes?

natoslug November 6, 2012 at 12:43 pm

KEEP YER BIG GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY PENIS!!!1!!!!!

M. Bouffant November 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

That Union Rescue Mission is a dump. They make you take off your hat inside (Fascism!!) & the food was pretty crummy. Don't give them any money.

dennis1943 November 6, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Do you suppose his boss told him who to vote for……….?

shelwood46 November 6, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Voted this morning in Princeton. Kinda crowded because they had a bunch of districts stuffed into the lobby of Jadwin Gym because they have power. No line for my district, though.

I was able to resist the urge to hold my arms over my head and shout, "Rush Holt!" when I voted for him, but it was a struggle.

BadKitty904 November 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

*hugs*

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