stand in the place where you live

Here Is Joe Biden Standing In Line Like A Boss

Joe the patient courteous non-line-cutting BidenSee that old gray haired man with his back to us, the one who looks really old (and probably handsome, we are just guessing)? That is Joe Biden. We can tell it is Joe Biden because standing next to him is his hot piece of a wife, Dr. Jill. Do you see what they are doing? They are standing in line to exercise their constitutional right to the franchise! No clearing everybody out of line and telling them to come back when the VIPs are done voting for them! (COUGH ROMNEY COUGH.)

Nope, they’re just cold bein’ courteous and patient Real Merkins, the kind what stand in line with common Delaware rubes. Have you stood in line today? We are voting at the Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row, just as soon as our son wakes up to go first-time-voting with us. We are looking forward to the first-time-votingness! (We will take pictures! Of our son voting! And probably homelesses!) We are not looking forward to the Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row. Los Angeles’s Skid Row is a fucking disgrace.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. tihond

    The photo is carefully cropped so you can't tell that he drove his Trans Am into the polling place.

    1. commiegirl99

      I dunno. Do those other Skid Rows have thousands and thousands of people living on the street in a few square blocks?

      1. gullywompr

        Well, Jersey City is giving LA a little competition these days, although there that area is know as "Bon Jovi".

    1. weejee

      It might help BoV. There's something about the deep rumble of a small tap on the throttle of a dual exhaust V8 (clutch in, obvs) the clears a crosswalk of blinking orange hand jaywalkers.

  2. Pookums

    If I were standing in line with him I'd gently cup his buttocks and then laugh heartily as he turned around to glare in an accusatory fashion. I'd then hook my thumb at his wife whilst wearing my best "wasn't me" facial expression.

    I'd then offer him a nip of bourbon from my silver flask and hearty backslaps would ensure.


    1. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Hail Nate, full of grace. The forecast is with you.
      Blessed art thou among math geeks, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
      Holy Nate, Father of Statistics, pray for us voters,
      Now and in the hour of our ballot.

  3. Barbara_

    I love when people take their children to the polling place. Teach them young about their civic duty. Cool stuff right there.

    1. missemish

      My mother always took me. It seemed like a very important, mysterious, and magical event. Of course those were the days when the voting booth looked like the Wizard of Oz's operating booth.

      1. Barbara_

        Good morning, Missemish! Your mother is a good woman. I always took my daughter, Christine with me. One year my Victoria asked, "Are we here to see the sweaty gladiators?" No baby, that's when we go to see a hockey game.

      1. Barbara_

        BadK, may I call you BadK? Lol.
        When Jeff and I voted here in New Mexico there was a Hispanic woman in line behind me. She had her ID out and ready and was trying to show it to the polling volunteer who told her that she should put it away, "You don't need that to be able to vote." I smiled and the woman and she busted out laughing and then gave me a big bear hug. It was very touching.

        Voting is cool and your grandfather rocks!

        1. BadKitty904


          I'll admit this is the second presidential election I've been old enough to vote in and, at the risk of sounding like a total jackass, it *still* makes me feel very grown-up and proud.

          My bf just got back from the polls and is heading to his office. He made a point of wearing, while voting, the religious medal his late grandfather wore when he smuggled his family out of Castro's Cuba and came to this country to escape tyranny. Joaquin says it will "bring good luck today and Our Lady will bless the President…"

          1. tessiee

            "at the risk of sounding like a total jackass, it *still* makes me feel very grown-up and proud"

            That would only make you sound like a total jackass if you'd voted for those other guys.

    2. kyeshinka

      My mom took me to our polling place in 1984. I said, "We're voting for Mondale, right?" "No, shut up, get in the car or no Jello pudding pops for you." Now she's a socialist who thinks Obama's to the right of Pinochet, so something magical happened that day.

      1. NellCote71

        I took my 92-year-old, World War II veteran father-in-law to the polls. Until 2008, he had been a lifelong Republican, and he used to tease me for being a yellow-dog Democrat. We early voted this year, and when we got into the room, a poll person was showing him how to use all the fancy dials. He kind of yells if he doesn't think people can hear him, so I hear throughout the room, "Just show me where to vote straight Democratic ticket. I want straight Democratic." God love him.

    3. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      When my kids were little I always took them, until one year some idiot told me that not only were they not allowed to come into the booth with me, they were not allowed actually into the room and would have to wait outside (literally, outside). Kids were 3 and 6 and she wanted them to wait OUTSIDE. This gave me the opportunity to explain to my children how you go about reporting poll workers who were violating the law. In front of her. Which we did when we got home. (It's not illegal to bring your minor children into the booth with you.) I love civics.

    4. weejee

      Mrs. weejee & I have a sad 'cause Washington State has gone to mail-in ballots and closed the polls. We loved walking up the hill to TT Minor grade school, rubbin' elbows with our neighbors, and happily waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Methuselah to check the list and give us our ballots. Good times!!

      1. tessiee

        'Washington State has gone to mail-in ballots and closed the polls"

        I'd be a lot more serene right now if that were true of Ohio.

    5. HELisforHEL

      That's what my Mom did (along with taking me along when she worked on Crazy Uncle Joe's early campaigns back in the day). Gave me the vision of how democracy works, and I'll always appreciate that she did it.

    6. dinkybossetti

      I took my husband to the polling place. He's not a child, but it's kind of the same thing because he can't vote but wanted to see what goes on.

    7. bobbert

      My dad always took me with him until I was 13 or so.. This was back in the telephone booth era, and I can still remember the sense of awe I felt when the curtain closed and he started flicking all the little switchy things. When I was tall enough, he let me set some of the switches, and pull the big voting lever. It was cooler than pulling the handle on a slot machine.

  4. Terry

    On a side subject, Joe must pay some money for his suits. They're tailored to fit him well and the fabric always looks nice. Jill must have made him stop shopping at the Men's Warehouse.

      1. mbatch

        The long trousers are to show he's a Man Of the People. Not like some people we know ::cough, MIttens, cough::

    1. bearperney

      I don't know Crunchy, the trousers are breaking across the shoe front just about right; any little bit longer in the back though and he would be dragging Irish pennants in no time.

  5. Schmannnity

    Joe said after voting that it will not be the last time he votes for himself. 2016 began today.

  6. jodyleek

    Joe, take off that heavy coat so I can cop a feel while I stand behind you in line, m'kay? Then, after we vote, let's blow this popsicle stand and I'll show you my special "poling" place.

  7. Estproph

    Note that there are no republican officials pictured voting in any lines. Lines are for democrats only.

    1. kyeshinka

      You know who else used to stand in line? Russians. That makes democrats like Russians, or if you will, socialists. Wow. Being a Republican would make the world an easier place to understand.

  8. EatsBabyDingos

    David Vitter has a trophy shelf with all his favorite diapers. Innocently, it, too, is called "Skid Row."

  9. Goonemeritus

    I voted in my rural polling place a little after 6am. My big fear is that because of my crummy eyesight I may have voted for Pat Buchanan.

  10. kittensdontlie

    One of my 'neighbors' cut in front of the line at the polls this morning. Those people should not be allowed to vote(assuming they are Republican).

  11. Studebaker Hawk

    I just voted and there were SO MANY SCARY BLACK PANTHERS inside the polling place!!!1!!1! Actually, they were more like Grey Panthers. Well, they had grey hair, anyway. What I’m trying to say is that the poll workers and most of the voters were really old.

  12. Lot_49

    Beloved Editrix, why do you not do exercise laid back California option of being a "Permanent Absentee" voter, by mail?

    There are two good reasons to do this:

    (1) it sounds like you're always gone, physically or otherwise;

    (2) it reduces human contact, which is always desirable; and

    (3) it allows you to vote a full month before Election Day.

    Okay, there were three….

    For example, in the 2003 goobernatorial recall that gave us the gift of Schwarzenegger, I was able to vote in early ignorance for Cruz Bustamonte because his utter idiocy had not yet been revealed. Viva la Reconquista!

  13. Not_So_Much

    When I go to my precinct of only white mormons, there will be no line. And even though I'll be the only non-Romney vote for hunnerts of miles around, it will all be friendly and courteous and since there will be more than 3 of them in one spot, there's a good chance there will be some green Jell-O with carrot slices in it as a refreshment. (don't ask)

    1. VeraSevera

      Hey lime green jello with shredded carrots is a time honored comfort food of my homeland–Montana–you can't tar that with a Mormon brush! Those polyglamot illegal immigrants stole it from us!

  14. Mojopo

    Congratulations to your son, Rebecca! I voted last week and it was JAM PACKED. We had a record turn-out in Cook County for early voting.

  15. widestanceromance

    I just voted wearing my Palin/Apocalypse t-shirt and it was so good, I needed a cigarette afterward. I can still smell that sweet Diebold honey on my fingers.

  16. jamsie25

    Got to my polling place early and there was already a line. No problems, no assholes asking for ID, which really surprised me. I expected them to ask and I didn't get to say "sorry, but no thanks". It's like the efforts of the GOP in PA to suppress voters never happened. No magic underwear fan boy thugs on the sidewalk challenging people. But maybe the trouble makers don't get up early?

    I hope everyone's voting experience goes as well as mine did.

  17. Dr_Zoidberg

    I voted!!! There was a line, and somehow my name wasn't on the polls, but I re-registered in, like, a minute, and cast my vote for ol' Handsome Joe and that cute black guy who's running with him.

  18. Designer_Rants

    Here's my kids at Grampa Joe's rally last week. The one in the middle isn't mine. My daughter was so disgusted with the loudness and the fact that snacks weren't served that I believe she's now a lifelong Republican.

      1. Designer_Rants

        Well, she was acting like an intransigent Republican when I tried to explain to her that the other party's rallies aren't any better. She didn't seem to care to listen, even.

  19. mbatch

    Colorado has vote by mail. You register when you get your driver's license. Despite our dickwad Secretary of State (currently being investigated by the Jeffco DA for misuse of funds), we still vote in large numbers. After twenty-plus years in Texas, I'm still sort of stunned by the whole thing.

    1. tracyhasfun

      Warshington state does too! But now nice Oregon Republican Moms are committing electoral fraud! Yoiks!

  20. starfanglednut

    Off to vote here in Boston, Assachusetts. Not a Romney voter in sight. The voting is actually held in the building where I live. In 2008, I blasted Stevie Wonder out my back window over the heads of people standing in line. It was awesome. Keep your fingers crossed for Hopey!

  21. Lazy Media

    You go
    Where the folks are broke.
    Where your life's a joke.
    When you buy your token,
    you go
    Home to skid row.

  22. Maman

    My girl couldn't vote today, but one of her classmates did… Nothing like watching a kiddie exercising the franchise for the first time! Have fun, Rebecca!

  23. bearperney

    Any politician who is not afraid to bounce a biker gal on his knee, in full view of the biker guys, will never have a problem standing in line with the hoi polloi.

  24. rocktonsam

    my daughter and me got to meet O H J Friday at the rally in Beloit Wisconsin. So cool this guy. He told my daughter she had a smile that can go for miles and he hope her dad built a tall fence around our house. Shooks hands and had a picture with him. What a day except for the assholes with the posters of dead fetuses that kept on saying Obama is a baby killer and that freaked out the kids going school. USA!


  25. SheriffRoscoe

    Being the Veep affords one the luxury to stand around, waiting in lines. They have literally nothing to do.

  26. fuflans

    you know these posts make me hopeful for america.

    people loving taking their civic duty seriously.

    as i voted in like early august i must find something else to do (anyone know of a harrass 'true the vote' effort in IL?). otherwise me and the ramones will be stuck together all day.

  27. natoslug

    Okay, I've been back in California for two and a half years, and they're STILL checking my ID and giving me a provisional ballot every time I vote? This is totes like the opening of Dachau and the release of police dogs in Birmingham combined, and I'm a white guy! Even worse, there was one other person in front of me in the line, and he stayed there yapping for a good three minutes about the weather. Next year I'm voting by mail and living without the keen "I Voted" sticker.

      1. natoslug

        Well, as I tried to state earlier, before our editrix decided that a post that lacked foul language, snark, references to Palin children and wishes for bodily harm or death was unacceptable, I am registered, and meet the HAVA requirements for not having to provide ID.

  28. DocChaos

    Here in sunny southern California I had to wait four goddamn minutes to vote, as the three people in line in front of me took their own sweet time. The big issue here: Measure B – condoms for porn actors – will dudes vote their own self-interest after telling wives and girlfriends they are voting yes?

  29. shelwood46

    Voted this morning in Princeton. Kinda crowded because they had a bunch of districts stuffed into the lobby of Jadwin Gym because they have power. No line for my district, though.

    I was able to resist the urge to hold my arms over my head and shout, "Rush Holt!" when I voted for him, but it was a struggle.

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