None Of These Democrats Actually Drive Trucks (Except Maybe The Nice Lesbian Couple)

  today in today

Today is the day with the best likelihood of us posting your nonsense. Like this ad full of total actors claiming they are Democrats who drive trucks! As if! That black lady does not drive a truck! That old biddy does not drive a truck! BUT.

Well, we came dangerously close to tearing up. Despite the total actorness. And the silliness of the giant truck prop gleaming behind all the nice people. (None of whom have Massachusetts accents, BTW.) This ad is probably not going to win Massachusetts’ senate seat for Elizabeth Warren! (Scott Brown did that all by himself.) But it’s nice! It’s stirring! There are happy pregnant lesbians! Send us your nonsense at tips@wonkette.com. We have a real low bar today.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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148 comments

  1. weejee

    Happy election day Wonketters!! Here's hoping Willard will appear flushed during his concession speech after receiving a richly deserved votive enema from the American electorate.

    Obama 347 : Willard 191

        1. thatsitfortheother1

          In today's world, 270 might not be enough. Not enough to avoid litigation at any rate.

          1. UW8316154

            No kidding. I'm thinking it has to be at least into the 300's before it is safe from the Supreme Court.

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      Just put a little smile on them rosy cheeks, ' Cause the Greeks don't want no freaks…

  2. PuckStopsHere

    Only Scott Brown is allowed to drive a truck in a MA election! You know the rules, people!!!

  3. memzilla

    Busting up the memes, ha! Let's show the ad that has Rethuglicans operating homeless shelters!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    *crickets* …. *tumbleweeds* ….

    1. Terry

      They'd be run by Evangelical groups who'd insist that the homeless people convert before they could get food and shelter.

      The modern day version of "taking the soup".

  4. actor212

    Hey! I'm a Democrat and I drive a truck!

    It's carefully camoflagued as a Prius, however, so my liberal friends won't get all panty-knotted…

    1. glasspusher

      Yeah, mine is cleverly disguised as a silver one with 196,000 miles on it and the original battery, slightly beat up on the outside for that "macho" look.

    2. Terry

      I have driven a truck, but currently drive a nice little Chevy that was affordable and I can park in pretty much any space I find open now that I live near town.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    Dang, I've got to sit in meetings all day and I left my Blackberry at home, so I will be in a figurative sensory deprivation tank all day. Keep up the side for me, y'all!

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    I think they found every single person in Massachusetts that actually owns a truck for that ad.

    1. Mojopo

      I am holding you, with my face against your cheek and if you tell me it's going to be OK, I will do the same for you.

  7. actor212

    Editrix,

    I voted this morning at 7AM. Even on a busy day, I'm usually one of the first fifty in the polling place (I think in 2008, I might have just missed the first hundred.)

    When I arrived today, there were already 150 people lined up to vote, which means about 300 people had already passed through the polling place.

    These are hipsters, mind you. HIPSTERS! VOTING EARLY! IN NEW YORK CITY! I mean, I'm sure they were doing it ironically but, really….HIPSTERS!

    This is what a landslide looks like.

    1. commiegirl99

      I am voting at the Union Rescue Mission on Skid Row. Have to wait till my FIRST TIME VOTER SON wakes up so we can go together. (And also have to wait till someone else joins me in the chatcave to take over le blog. Which could happen eventually!)

      1. memzilla

        Be sure you both wear your CommieGirl® tee shirts, For Freedom! (Also, for teenager embarrassment)

    2. glasspusher

      Actor, that's great, but in all fairness, you live in NYC? Folks like you and me on the coasts don't factor much into this, do we? I'm egging on my friends in Ohio and Florida to make my day.

      Yes, I'll take one landslide, please, I'll enjoy it here…

      Oh, BTW, my hopes that Sandy didn't fuck you up too much. My sister and friends in NJ only recently got their power back…

      1. UW8316154

        Nate doesn't see a landslide, so let's not get cocky. I am praying (heh) for a 300+ EC win, in order to be impervious to litigation, recounts and the Supreme Court.

        1. glasspusher

          I'm not cocky, but here's a story: When I was in grad school, I was asked by a friend how I did on a test. I said I hoped I got a B. He said, hey, hope for an A!

  8. Toomush_Infer

    Hey, I drove my F-150, with its' Obama/Biden sticker, down to the polling place in northern Michigan….it took me 45 minutes of standing in a line all the way to the crossroad, but I got to vote against the Emergency Management law and all….Mrs. Toomush got there even earlier….she said when the doors opened, she was surprised that she got a lump in her throat…

    1. Katydid

      Actually, I always get a thrill (not down my leg like Tweety), and maybe a little lump in my throat, when I vote. Makes me proud to be an American. But then I guess that's because I'm a commie libtard socialist atheist Kenyan Muslin Other who's going to hell.

  9. BadKitty904

    I'm a Democrat and I (like any good Southern boy) actually do drive a truck. Do I get a t-shirt or something???

  10. ThundercatHo

    Team Wonkette is Fired Up and Ready to Go!

    Don't bitch, VOTE! And take somebody with you also, too, in fact, AOTK.l

    1. iamrrm

      I can bitch and vote, and bitch about voting, and vote for bitches all at the same time.
      *pats head while rubbing belly*

  11. Loch_Nessosaur

    Scott Brown – Kings bow before him, queens curtsy, prime ministers take his call. He is the world's most self important man. Stay away my friends.

  12. kittensdontlie

    "Truckin', like the do-dah man
    once told me "You got to play your hand".
    Sometimes your cards ain't worth a damn,
    if you don't lay'em down."

  13. Limeylizzie

    Many, many people in line here in Harlem at the New Canaan Baptist Church, line goes all the way down the street and my friend said people are yelling "Go, Obama" inside!

    1. CrunchyKnee

      I have a low bar today, because I'll probably be on the ground drunk by 2 PM. I have to reach the whisky somehow.

      1. Toomush_Infer

        Hey, if you already voted, do you get to drink for free for the rest of the day?…why isn't this in the Constitution?…

  14. Schmannnity

    The irony of Scott Brown's defeat will be when he starts representing Jack Abramoff's tribal lobbying clients.

  15. cognachas4paws

    Voted at 6am this morning, very long line, but all went well. Apparently, however, things are not going well in Pennsylvania according to Fox News because, horror of horrors, they say a lone Black Panther Party member has been spotted outside a polling place. They've issued an alert about this so it must be a BFD.

  16. glasspusher

    I'll be happy to vote as soon as it's 7AM here. My polling place is the fire house next door. My neighbor up the street is the governor of California and votes next door too, so the news trucks with their deep low idling engines have been keeping us all up since about 3 AM. I went out front for a look, they all looked at me, and I said, "Sorry folks, I'm not ready to release a statement!"

    Wishing a happy outcome for us all!

      1. glasspusher

        Yeah. Here's an update. I pulled out one of my telescopes and showed the last quarter moon to a cameraman a few minutes ago and shot the shit. He said that Jerry is going to vote early and then give a press conference on Prop 30, for funding schools, thus all the media. Can I get a voucher for missing half a night's sleep?

    1. cognachas4paws

      I'm from Chicago, that's not just a saying. I've voted, my dead parents have voted and, for good measure, all three of my dogs have voted. We've done all we can do. :)

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    Wow. Just talked to the guy that bought my old house, he's predicting a Romney landslide. Also, if Obama is re-elected, he will probably have to go out of business (sells high end ranches/real estate), as all his potential customers will just put their money in the bank for the next four years instead of buying that ranch. Also, he told me that "fucking nigger" played golf 110 days while in office. I had to get off the phone. I need a shower.

    1. freakishlywrong

      Poor asswits. Businesses are posting record profits and the Dow is through the roof. But, y'know. Math.

    2. cognachas4paws

      Even after 4 years, it amazes me how misinformed people still are about the President and his true record.

    3. ttommyunger

      Welcome to my world: Marietta, Cobb County, Georgia, one of the whitest cities in one of the whitest Counties in the most Corrupt State in the Union, look it up. I feel your pain. I go into my favorite biker bar here and yell, "I'm buying, for everyone who votes Obama". Been doing that for weeks, hasn't cost me a fucking dime yet.

  18. ManchuCandidate

    Shorter Masshole Campaign summary… The nice lady who scares banks is going to win in large part because Scott Brown teabagged himself with his own trucknutz and then his naked ass got run over by his own truck.

  19. Lazy Media

    I drive a redneck liberal truck. A 17-year-old Honda Civic with a trailer hitch, which I hook up to a 4X8 utility trailer when I need to haul stuff.

  20. sbj1964

    To all GOP,right-wingnuts,Christian Fun-Dah-metal-ist,racist teabagging,coservatards next time pick a canidate that is not a Flip-flopping,massachusetts liberal,Romeny care,Draft dodging,Bishop in the Mormon CULT.Might work better for your base of middle aged white guys who think the black man is keeping them down.See you in 2016 when Hillary kicks Jebs ass!

    1. freakishlywrong

      I think this suppression shit is going to backfire on the assholes. I sure as hell hope so.

      1. BadKitty904

        I've already seen at least one article commenting on how much damage it will do the Repugs' reputation *IF* the media picks up on it. They've really taken off their mask, this election, and exposed their "patriotic" BS as the sham it really is…

  21. Jerri

    Can we get A Children's Treasury of Adorable Puppy and Kitty pictures to help keep us calm and occupied today?

  22. DocChaos

    I call bullshit, everyone in California knows that the only people who drive trucks are Messicans.

  23. FakaktaSouth

    I wish I knew how to upload things, what with the low bar and all, y'all'd be forced to see a white girl in Alabama vote for PresO defiantly. (and JOE! JOE! JOE! and also, Michelle, because, beautiful and smart and just looking like the best first lady ever) I am trying to decide which asshole I know whose vote I am specifically cancelling out – y'all save us from ourselves today, okay? Go oBama!

    1. ttommyunger

      Your vote for Barry won't count at all in our Electoral System, as mine won't, but it still feels good.

    2. bobbert

      Hey, your vote for Bronco will still pump up the "popular vote", and maybe reduce the whining by a teeny bit.

    1. qwerty42

      What does it look like for Barrow? The Republicans have been trying to get rid of him for a few years, and the most recent redistricting may have done it.

      1. Misty Malarky

        Actually it's looking pretty good for Barrow, thank goodness. His opponent is real doofus good ol' boy Lee Anderson who refused to debate Barrow and whose commercials consist of 'Barrow LUVS him some Obama!' stuff – and scary black people natch.

        1. qwerty42

          He was redistricted out of Athens (lotta commies there) and moved to Savannah (which seems to have gone communist in the past few years, but has had a pretty strong Democratic party even as much of the state went Republican) and now moved to part of Augusta and a lot of rural folks. There has been some mention of his being the last non-blah southern Democrat in the House.

    1. An_Outhouse

      Lovely comments over there:
      "Will some one call a cop and arrest this guy for loitering."

      yeah, the old 'standing around while blah' offense.

    2. Zango Crudmonger

      The comments are full of chest-thumping idiocy, along with this gem:

      "The New Black Panther Party is a front for NAMBLA. They actually share the same office space for their organizations’ headquarters. That is a fact! The NBPP is so mad all of the time because society will not accept NAMBLA!"

      Learn something new everyday.

  24. TootsStansbury

    OT but I was texting back and forth with my daughter. She told me (after brattily saying she voted for Romney) that she chose to use the paper ballot "because it made me feel like a founding father; too bad no quill pens!". Made me laugh; I am a wreck.

    1. ttommyunger

      I feel your pain, my son is a Rightard. My only consolation is the fact that when I was his age, I voted for Wallace, so there is hope for his future.

      1. TootsStansbury

        Oh noes! She was only teasing! She's a bit of a dingbat but she would never do something that stupid.

  25. freedomjackson

    C'Mon Becky they're all standing in front of the "pickups" they "drive".

    The ad is weak but I can tell you for a fact there are plenty of women who drive trucks.
    And I'm talking 18 wheelers

  26. LIT_Fag

    I'm a truck driving democrat 'mo!
    Got to my polling place in Little Rock at 6:30
    this morning. 8th in line 2nd election in a row.
    Hopefully a good omen! But imagine my upsetness
    waiting and there was no Wonkette post yet this morning!
    I so needed my family to keep me from hyperventilating
    at the thought of Mittens possibly becoming….gulp…
    POTUS.

  27. GregComlish

    Nothing in this campaign could match the ridiculousness of Mitt attempt at appealing to Latino voters by citing his grandfather's brief polygamist stint in Mexico.

  28. fuflans

    you know, sometimes acting is the only thing that pays the actual bills.

    also, those people are totally more watchable than ordinary truck people.

  29. ttommyunger

    I will own and drive a truck when they manufacture a two-wheel version, until then: ain't gonna happen.

  30. CommieLibunatic

    I'm disappointed that one of those vehicles didn't turn out to be Optimus Prime. "I'm a Democrat, and I AM a truck!"

Comments are closed.