a gentleman and a scholar and actually neither

Shocker: ‘Legitimate Raper’ Todd Akin Was Really Mean To Women, Has Insane Murdery Friend

Little-known fact: Duke Nukem is pro-life.Craaaazy news out of Missouri, everybody. You will not believe which of their politicians was arrested eight times at abortion clinics, then got himself elected to the state legislature. Would you believe it was Sen. Todd Akin (R-Uterus)?

It was!

As hard as it might be to believe, the guy who got all scandalized after he decided to talk about “legitimate rape” is not just supportive of anti-abortion legislation, he was (ahem, allegedly) also so voceriferously abusive to women at clinics that the police had to carry him away. What dedication! Most people just donate to Richard Mourdock — Akin finds ladies and insults them, personally!

From National Journal, with a big assist from Right Wing Watch:

Akin was arrested on October 26, 1985, April 19, 1986 and February 28, 1987 for trespassing. A December 27, 1986 arrest was for “trespassing and peace disturbance.” The arrests reported by the Post-Dispatch came in the same period, between March 1985 and May 1987, but occurred at other clinics. Three were in St. Louis and one in Granite City, Illinois. The paper said protesters tried to block access to the clinics and refused to leave. In one case, Akin was carried out by police.

Good job, Todd! That will solve your abortion problem — instead of pursuing responsible courses of action like “sexual education,” just berate pregnant women until armed officials forcibly remove you, on account of it is the women’s constitutional right to be there. Weren’t you the one who was so concerned about our Constitution being raped? (It’s OK — if the Constitution gets raped, its preamble has ways to “shut that whole thing down.”)

How did Akin’s camp respond to all of this?

Akin campaign spokesperson Rick Tyler declined to comment on the new arrest records. Tyler has dismissed past Akin arrests as “something that happened a quarter century ago”…

Oh. Hm. Well, it appears there is a statute of limitations on first-degree shitbaggery, so we’ve got to forget about public, illegal woman-shaming. But has the statute of limitations run out on Hanging Out With Insane People?

Akin was arrested with members of an anti-abortion group later taken over by Tim Dreste, who pushed aggressive action against abortion clinics and was arrested hundreds of times at anti-abortion protests. In one case Dreste held a sign referencing a doctor in Florida who was murdered by protestors…

In 1999, Dreste lost a civil lawsuit that charged he threatened to kill pro-choice plaintiffs who sued him in 1995. He was then censured by the St. Louis Country Republican Central Committee and forced to resign from a seat on the committee.

That is a pretty tenuous connection, you might say. Akin probably doesn’t know that guy at all.

But, turns out, he totally does! I know, right?

In 1993 Akin contributed to Dreste’s longshot state house campaign. After Dreste started a militia group, Akin was listed as a speaker at a 1995 rally held not long before the bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma City, though he apparently did not address the rally…

Whoa! Good thing Akin did not address that militia, otherwise he would have had a crazy and weird connection to groups that believe in blowing people up to defend liberty, like good old Timothy McVeigh. Phew!

Oh. Uh… take it away, Riverfront Times:

In August 2012, Akin–as he has done repeatedly over the years–dismissed any connection to the group that believed in their right to bear arms to defend against violations of the Constitution…

But that wasn’t true. In an article that appeared in the Springfield News-Leader on May 5, 1995, Akin readily admits that he is well acquainted with the 1st Missouri Volunteer Militia and personally reviewed their paramilitary “unit”…

Todd Akin defended Moore’s group and said that the young movement could be an asset to federal law enforcement (Akin said this, by the way, a month after the Oklahoma City bombing).

Ah, whatever. Akin probably never even met that Dreste guy, right? It’s just a coincidence — right, National Journal? Right?

Tyler said Akin now has no relationship with Dreste. But in 2011, shortly before Akin announced his widely expected Senate run, Dreste registered eight Akin-affiliated domain names, such as “ToddAkinFor Senate.org.” People for the American Way also cited a picture posted by Dreste’s wife on Facebook showing Akin and the couple’s daughter.

If Akin’s arrests on charges of haranguing women aren’t allowed to be a big deal, how about his death-threating friends in the militia movement, with whom he apparently has daughter-friends? Is that off the table too? Should we just vote for him? He seems like a nice guy. We probably should. [National Journal]

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114 comments

  1. actor212

    You will not believe which of their politicians was arrested eight times at abortion clinics

    For stealing embryos from the dumpster? Romney must have thrown a fit, Akin cutting into his profits like that.

  2. Not_So_Much

    In his defense, it was just vagina-ed Americans. Not like it was white dudes or anything, which, as we all know, is totally not ok.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      To be fair it's also a big deal if it's a white college girl from an affluent suburban family. But of course they don't go to abortion clinics, their rich Republican doctors take care of those little 'indiscretions".

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      They could at least have a "three strikes and you're an asshole" law applied to anti-abortion nutters. Then they could tatoo a scarlet A bisecting a farting ass, or something.

  3. gullywompr

    But now that the sluts can get free birth control, these Senators-to-be are going to have to find a new hobby.

  4. memzilla

    Akin readily admits that he is well acquainted with the 1st Missouri Volunteer Militia and personally reviewed their paramilitary “unit”

    Say, you know which other extreme right-wing politician "personally reviewed" a paramilitary unit… ?

      1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

        he didn't just review them…they formed a clubhouse where they drank beers and whined about how unfair it is that the Yankee-man would subjugate the superior white Southern man…then they decided it was all black peoples faults and went and hung some for it.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Could you imagine, if people started protesting gun stores? Sure, stand your ground laws would tilt in the favor of the patrons who wear their 2nd Amendment rights on their hips, but if it were en vogue to attack other legally protected rights. . .

    2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Obviously they were legitimate because the law came and "shut all that down" while arresting the douchecanoe. I wish Aiken had gotten sent to prison over it all, though…

  5. Goonemeritus

    Finally a politician with consistent views, it is a little troubling however that his views are consistently horrible.

  6. boskolives

    The obvs solution for women, incorporate your uterus because as it's been established the repubs respect the privacy of corporations, which are people too. And maybe voters as well. Nevada has the best tax set up for this, but you might need to show proof of citizenship to enter the state.

    1. VaWyo

      But what if Bain attempts a hostile takeover of my uterus? They will offshore the job of being my fetus.

  7. elviouslyqueer

    Shorter Todd Akin: QUIT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE THE TOTAL DERANGED WINGNUT I TOTALLY AM. Stop it! This is HARD!

  8. actor212

    Tyler has dismissed past Akin arrests as “something that happened a quarter century ago”…

    Please say Akin has said *anything* about Obama's college days…

    1. CommieLibunatic

      Word. These same guano-faucets who go "meh that fanaticism was years ago" regularly perform acrobatic fucking pirouettes off the handle at the idea of Obama smoking a joint in college.

  9. HarryButtle

    Thought the headline said "legitimate rapper" Todd Akin…

    I like rape babies and I can not lie
    All you sinners gonna make me cry

    And so forth.

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    "In 1999, Dreste lost a civil lawsuit that charged he threatened to kill pro-choice plaintiffs who sued him in 1995. He was then censured by the St. Louis Country Republican Central Committee and forced to resign from a seat on the committee."

    I'm sure he's back by now, though.

  11. Maman

    What I love best about that story is how he hid the news about those arrests because he was arrested under his real name. Todd is his middle name and he started using it when he entered politics.

  12. actor212

    Akin readily admits that he is well acquainted with the 1st Missouri Volunteer Militia and personally reviewed their paramilitary “unit”…

    *cheap British jazz music swells*

    "Nice…unit…you got there, soldier. Mind if I…handle…it?

  13. PsycWench

    Tyler has dismissed past Akin arrests as “something that happened a quarter century ago”…

    Dude, that argument works for explaining how you got caught with a dime bag of pot on your way back from spring break. It doesn't work for causing other people trauma in a premeditated group effort eight times.

  14. SigDeFlyinMonky

    I demand fact based governance. I want logic and rhetoric taught starting in the fifth grade. I want this party of innumerate mentally challenged ideologues ground into dust.

    1. Tommmcatt_Again

      I want a threesome with B.D. Wong and Jason Scott Lee, but unfortunaely that isn't happening anytime soon either…

  15. Spurning Beer

    Here in Pensacola, the local abortionplex — where the doctor was murdered in 1994 and which was firebombed this year — has now been bulldozed. It was across the street from my liquor store. Have some fucking respect, anti-choicers! This is sacred ground!

    Anyway, the clinic is now in another neighborhood, where the protesters disturb the dental patients next door. I'm working up plans to have large photos of periodontal surgery to wave in the protesters' faces while I scream at them to brush their teeth.

    1. shelwood46

      On the show Battleground (an excellent original series on Hulu about a WI senate campaign), one of the opponent's tactics is to open an abortionplex next door to their rival campaign's headquarters so they have to fight their way through protestors every morning and night. I'm kind of surprised this hasn't caught on in real life.

  16. Lot_49

    It's our Cocktober Surprise, a tad late and a trifle local. But we'll take it! Suck it, Todd–you know you want to!

  17. widestanceromance

    I will never believe that a man who looks like a leather-bound dinosaur skull is anything but kind and good.

  18. Biff

    Funny how in these idiot's minds Bill Ayers is somehow relevant, but this Dreste fellow is virtually non-existent…

  19. EatsBabyDingos

    Is it me, or does Akin need a transvaginal probe attached to a telephone pole shoved up his mangina?

  20. actor212

    True fact: Todd's real first name is "William". He only started going by Todd when he realized his arrest record could be easily avoided by doing so.

    1. BoatOfVelociraptors

      Ol' billy, Todd akin
      You know he ain't fakin
      He's a comin to set those fetii free.

      Ol billy Todd akin
      Knows about baby makin
      Rape babies, as far as the eye can see!

  21. BaldarTFlagass

    I thought Akin was all wrapped up with making his name in BJ and the Bear and the Further Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo back in those days.

  22. SorosBot

    So Missouri might elect an actual terrorist to the Senate, it's OK; like all the other anti-abortion and militia anti-government terrorists, he has white skin and therefore our media will never use the word terrorist.

    1. Incitefully_Joe

      However please note that since he's an anti-abortion lunatic, the operative word shall be "protestor", whereas if he were only an anti-government militia creep, he would would be a "lone nut", even though, by definition, anti-government militia groups are, umm, groups.

  23. Jus_Wonderin

    Duke! In all seriousness, I established the look of the character when he moved from sidescroller to 3D.

  24. editor

    huh. the only person i know who's been arrested 8 times is currently residing in san quentin. yet here we have "todd" akin, airing exciting new theories on women's reproductive functioning, inspecting paramilitary "units," and vying for a position as a public servant. country of opportunities, indeed.

    1. mrblifil

      He was so particular sometimes he resorted to white glove inspection. Sometimes he dispensed with the gloves entirely. Other times he would inspect the units with his anus.

  25. calliecallie

    "…a picture posted by Dreste’s wife on Facebook showing Akin and the couple’s daughter."

    How old is she? I just…ew. I hope Claire kicks this guys butt.

  26. MissTaken

    In 1993 Akin contributed to Dreste’s longshot state house campaign. After Dreste started a militia group, Akin was listed as a speaker at a 1995 rally held not long before the bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma City, though he apparently did not address the rally…

    I'm holding my breath as I wait for Sarah Palin to bitch about Akin 'palling around with terrorists'. Still holding.

      1. SorosBot

        How dare you question St. Sarah's patriotism based on some little activity of her husband, when Obama kind of knew Bill Ayers decades after the Weather Underground was a thing!

  27. Redgyal

    I don't buy that these people are truly upset about the killing of unborn babies. Their actions don't match their words.

    1. Redhead

      Well we all know the life of a (potentially white male) fetus is worth more than the life of its mother. At least until it's old enough that we can tell for sure if it's a boy fetus or a girl fetus.

  28. Redhead

    Akin and his spokesman didn't like questions about his illegally-harassing-women past, so they shut it down.

    At least he's consistent?

  29. mustangsavvy

    No one could have predicted this many tenuous (read: rock solid) connections between Todd Akin and other misogynistic pricks.

  30. An_Outhouse

    He's Republican, of course he personally reviewed their paramilitary “unit”. All of them, Katie.

  31. GeneralLerong

    Gotta brain cramp here, help me out:

    Just what heinous, inhuman, mind-crizzling act could a Republican commit that would dissuade Republican voters from electing him?

    I'm stumped. Pissing on the bible, followed by gutting and eating raw a kitten on live TV would simply be brushed off as a fake perpetrated by dem/darky/libs/gays/muslins, that being the kind of thing we do on a regular basis.

    1. freddymcmurray

      In Missouri, almost nothing would dissuade them. However, there is some slight hope for that awful state: they elected a dead guy over Ashcroft. But otherwise, I see no hope. All you really need to know about the state is that Donny and Marie regularly perform there and have a home there. That's what the people between St. Louis and Kansas City are like.

  32. ttommyunger

    In his defense, Todd explained, off the record, that he wasn't protesting, just trolling for pussy.

Comments are closed.