FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE TRUTHERS  12:50 pm November 5, 2012

NRO Weeps For America’s New Oppressed Minority: Poll Truthers

by Jesse Taylor

once unskewed, this is a picture of a white lady shopping at macy'sAfter a month or so of really kind of absurd arguments that every poll in existence was skewed because of liberalism and Nate Silver being a big gay homosexual, we have now come full circle: Jim Geraghty at the National Review has decided that those who criticize morons are basically calling them racists.

So a lot of people who don’t read me that closely are going to look at what follows and interpret it as “Jim’s saying the polls are always wrong.” That’s not what I’m saying, but I’m prefacing all of this with that prediction, because we’ve all seen that when people don’t like what you have to say, they attempt to cut off discussion by calling you insane or silly. Sneering “truther” in response to a disagreement from the conventional wisdom is almost as worn out as “racist.”

Geraghty then proceeds to argue that polls are probably always wrong, which is a totally different argument that his first sentence completely negates. But what about the fact that bold truth-teller Jimmy is basically being called a racist just because he’s kind of innumerate and hackish?

Well, one, it would probably help if Geraghty didn’t work for a publication that had fired like a billion racists this year. In general, when you call someone at the National Review ”racist,” it isn’t because you don’t like that they used the term “blacks” instead of “black people,” but because they actually wrote their quick post on how they don’t really like Homeland at a white power rally.

Anyway, let us soothe Jim’s feelings. You are not a poll truther. You are simply a disingenous hack who uses the example of certain polls being wrong at some point in the past to insinuate that every poll you don’t like today is also wrong, which is a completely different thing.

And I’m not calling you a racist either, although the National Review’s “Blackface Watermelon and Grape Juice Obamaphone Halloween Welfare Jamboree” was probably in bad taste.

[National Review]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 215 comments }

Canmon November 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

The only poll that really matters is the one Tuesday night… well, that and Rasmussen.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

NEVER mention that name in my presence! NEVER!!!

Unless, of course, it's to point out what ASSHOLES they are.

Generation[redacted] November 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

The only poll that counts is the Brooks Brothers Riot poll that stops the vote count.

zumpie November 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Gallup's usually kinda, sorta, maybe acceptable—except for when they do some ass covering turn around, like now, with Bamz up 1

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Oh, the poll will be taken tomorrow, but will the results ever be released by the Ohio DoS?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 November 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Yes…that's the mantra and it's pretty funny to be honest. Every time I've seen some winger say Romney is ahead, a liberal will say "yeah on Rasmussen" while rolling eyes and without fail the retort will be, "they're the most accurate" which just shows how much wishful thinking these turds engage in. Sure, Rasmussen is the most accurate so long as you ignore university studies on poll accuracy, reports by Gallup, 538.com and Pew which all say Rasmussen deliberately skews wingnut…but hey, what I am saying? If they actually consumed those sources they'd know how stupid such a statement is in the first place so clearly they consume news inside the bubble where Rasmussen is 100,000,000% accurate!!!!1111!!! and everyone else is just a bunch of secret commies…probably ghey, too.

savethispatient November 5, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Yes, Tuesday will be huge – if Obama wins that will devastate Romney in the tracking polls.

(Stolen/paraphrased from XKCD)

Disassembly November 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I never sneer "truther." I generally guffaw it.

Antispandex November 5, 2012 at 2:07 pm

"Truther" has moved into the rather large category of things (like Nixon's Southern Strategy, the fact that Reagan raised taxes, &c) that the Republicans do not want people to talk about. However, if they must talk about them, they would prefer they at least got the facts wrong.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 November 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Yeah…I say truther with the same voice and reasoning as when I call Palin a 'tard….not as a sneer, just an objective, factual observation.

Wile E. Quixote November 5, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I generally belch it.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Talented!

Blueb4sinrise November 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Jim, you're either insane , or silly.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Can't he be *both*?

Blueb4sinrise November 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

See, Jim, it's not true that calling you insane or silly cuts-off discussion. It actually promotes discussion.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I'm willing to discuss anything about him. The ruder the better.

Blueb4sinrise November 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I read somewhere that Jim is a SHITHEAD.

Biff November 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

As someone also named Jim, I resemble that remark.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 2:44 pm

NO! NOOOOOO!!

Biff November 5, 2012 at 4:54 pm

OK, I'll continue to be known as Biff.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm

(Hugs the Biff fondly) All the Jims I've ever known have been total fucking assholes.

Not that you couldn't be, too, IRL, but these is teh InterNets, let me pretend!

BoatOfVelociraptors November 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Negative feedback lop discovered. It's addicting.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Those bunnies usually are.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I won't sneer "truther" or "racist" at you, Jim. I will, however, sneer "asshole" at you.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Yay, that's my Baldar!

Can I come watch? I'd like to nutpunch him when you're done.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

There's something very therapeutic about "asshole," especially when you elongate and accentuate each syllable.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Reminds me of old Jewish ladies, who can stretch "Israel" into seventeen syllables.

BadKitty904 November 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Seems fair.

Troglodeity November 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

National Review's solution: Elect a white president. Problem solved!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

The Browning of America. It's getting harder to find white presidential material.

BadKitty904 November 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Not that that's ever stopped them before, mind you…

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Sure explains why this year's crop of Preznitwitdental wannabes were so uniformly hideously ignorant and frightening.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Geraghty? Isn't that Irish? Best be careful, Jim, Bill Clinton says you're next on the Romney hitlist.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

'Specially if he's black Irish….

SigDeFlyinMonky November 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I know his type of Irish. Like Hannity and O'Reilly he would have stepped on his own mother's cold corpse to clerk for an English grain exporter during the famine.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I have yet to see any of the pollsters' birth certificates. That is all I'm saying. WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN VETTED!!!!

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

They are ALL Muslin, Buddha-loving, wetback, Papist atheists is WHY!!1!

BadKitty904 November 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I think you might've forgotten "crack-smoking"…

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Also, too, fascistic Commie Nazi.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

My bad- I thought the Buddha-loving part made it clear that they were crack-smoking fascistic Commie Nazis…

Boojum November 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

And the passport transcripts!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Booj! Yer back!

elviouslyqueer November 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Well, I'm convinced. Jim Geraghty does indeed have a very punchable face.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

You should see his nuts.

Callyson November 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

NO.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Where's your sense of *adventure,* girl?

Callyson November 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I aspire to have sex again sometime in this life.

gullywompr November 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I can see he's nuts.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

That guy's nuts! Grab 'um!

Not_So_Much November 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

With votes?

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Poll smoker.

Goonemeritus November 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I hope Nate Silver is a Homosexual, I would hate to think all those love sonnets I’ve sent him were for naught.

coolhandnuke November 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Poll tax, poll attacks, poll truthers, poll martyrs.
NRO trying to poll a fast one.

gullywompr November 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I'm not a truther, but…

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Those libtards are so mean, suppressing the Wingnut Vote with liberally-biased reality! We must all shout, in unison, that the polls are flawed to keep turnout engorged!! And burn that feeble, flouncy, Jewy Nate Silver in effigy!

AlterNewt November 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

…And pre-delegitimize Obama's reelection.

CommieDad November 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

The polls could all be skewed. Don't sneer! Here's how: Every republican signs a pledge to Grover Norquist saying that they will answer the phone only when they recognize the name on caller ID. Then, if they do not hear FOX News or FOX News Radio iin the background, they hang up.

zumpie November 5, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Yes, while taking one for the team by lurking around yahoo! today, I learned that no coal miners, unemployed women who don't care about abortion (which apparently is "all of 'em, Katie") or evangelists in Ohio or PA have been polled!

Mittenzzzzz win!!!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Awww, you're SO braaave! (Hugs zumpie) Don't hang around there too long, you'll get ick all over you.

zumpie November 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Hey, I'm tough. Ironically, THAT wingnut was far from the most insane. I very much enjoyed the fundie Xtian lecturing us all about how she was NOT a backwoods hillbilly, but had a BA (never said what in or where from—I'll guess "being an Xtian" from Bob Jones for $200, Mr. Trebeck)—and how very, very much ruder Dems were than Republicans on blogs.

Apparently she's never witnessed the trolling on Huffpost or the wingnuts who personally insulted myself, my husband and my daughter (along with a myriad of other Dems) on FB after I posted congratulations on Kitzhaber's page on his 2010 win!

She even cited how very, very, VERY mean I was: I referred to the former, 1 term Gov as "Mittens"!!!!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Some whiner on Twitter just whined that Obots are rly rly mean to people like herself, who like to refer to "DemonRats." I has teh amaze.

AlterNewt November 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I…just….it's…arrrggghhhhh…

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

There, there, AlterNewt. It'll be OK. (Pats the little Newt's back)

AlterNewt November 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Thanks MB.

But JESUSFUCKINGCHRISTALMIGHTY.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Breathe deep. 36 hours, and it'll mostly be over. With any luck, they'll find Jim Geraghty curled in the fetal position under a bridge somewhere, never to be heard saying anything but "Landslide. Barry won in a landslide."

AlterNewt November 5, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Okay..okay…okay…hegnh..ahem…okay.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Remind me again… is Lou Lewd Geraghty's disease contagious?

SigDeFlyinMonky November 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I think they missed the whole point of my disease!

Tundrafig November 5, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I'm sure that he considers himself self self self . . .
The luckiest man man man . . . .
On the face of the Earth Earth Earth Earth . . .

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I've never seen a blackface watermelon, and I live in the South. Is it just an NRO non-racisty thing?

Disassembly November 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

No, it's a GMO thing. Like seedless watermelons.

Doktor Zoom November 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Dammit, I can't believe I missed the Blackface Watermelon and Grape Juice Obamaphone Halloween Welfare Jamboree again.

Disassembly November 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

That's too bad, they called your name at the raffle. Sorry, no Chik-fil-A gift certificate for you!

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Possibly now would be a good time to update your calendar to be sure you don't miss the Blackface Watermelon and Grape Juice Obamaphone Thanksgiving Welfare Jamboree.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

And it was the last one!!!

tracyhasfun November 5, 2012 at 7:23 pm

The reminder comes free with a subscription to behind the paywall…dare you?

smokefilledroommate November 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

There's gotta be a poll smoker joke in here somewhere.

edit–Baldar !

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I don't understand that magazine cover. She is a Latina, but they are portraying her as some kind of Hindu guru? Stereotype fail; kinda like when the bigoted guy in Porky's kept calling the Jewish kid a "kite."

Callyson November 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I like to think that Justice Sotomayor keeps a framed copy of that cover in her office.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Buddhist, actually. The Hindu deities tend to have more arms and heads.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Thanks for the Comparative Religion lesson, MB. But I still stand by my statement!!

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Besides, you said "guru", not "deity." And my dictionary says the term is used in both religions.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:47 pm

It wasn't a lesson, just a snark. I'm sure you're far better-informed than I, but tell me please what evidence you have for its Hinduism?

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

None whatsoever, just grabbed the closest eastern religion I could find. And it's weird that I didn't say Buddhism, since I watched something about that just this past weekend.

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Guppy November 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"Dharmic," whatever.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Maybe it's like conflating Hawai'i with Kenya- all foreigners are pretty much alike in their failure to be Real 'Murricans.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:50 pm

It's very annoying and insulting to have people look one in the eye (as happens to me often, since I could pass for a member of various tribes) and say, "You can't be [insert ethnic of choice]! [Ethnics] don't look like you!"

I never heard the term "East Indian" until I came here. In this country people ask me if I'm West Indian and when I say no, they say, "Are you East Indian, then?" Wuh. Ethnics of two totally different flavours.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

'East Indian' is a new one to me. I wonder what it means?

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I thought West Indians were from, like, the West Indies—Jamaica, Trinidad, etc. East Indian, though, is not a term I have heard much if ever. Wiki says "of the Indian sub-continent," I thought they were called "Southwest Asians." Or Wogs, if you're British.

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Indonesia, Malaysia, etc.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

People from India. Who assure me they prefer to be known as "Indians" or "South Asians," mostly.

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 2:11 pm

What happens if statehood wins in Puerto Rico tomorrow?

Detesticle November 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

How much champagne should I buy for tomorrow?

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

A jeroboam.

Also too take Wed off as a sick day.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 2:03 pm

To recover from previous night's revelry, you suggest?
NAH, MANG — to celebrate the new PristineODummy AnnObey MitBorg WeedLord BonerHitler-Avatar you're putting finishin touches on, of course!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Oh, good lord, the day's almost upon us. I'll be SO GLAD not to have ANYthing associated wiv Mitt around me any more.

gullywompr November 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

All of it, Detesticle.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Enough for ALL OF US, obvs…

sewollef November 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Duh.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Hey, there you are. (Hugs sewollef)

sewollef November 5, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I know….. thanks :)

My neighbourhood of Brooklyn was hit by the storm badly. I'm near the Verrazano Bridge and Staten Island. Those winds were terrifying.

It brought a 60ft (80-year-old tree) crashing onto my house, smashing through the roof shingle and windows of my bedroom. I'm still in shock I think.

sewollef November 5, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I was SO angry at the damage, I reached for the nearest bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon I could find…. and goddam it, I gave it a hammering! And the one after that.

It was pretty distracting though. However, I had to go into work – 'cos god forbid some asshole in Florida [i.e. the client] doesn't get their design on time. Had to use the shuttle bus since the fucking subways went and lost power and were under water underneath the East River.

There are tales I can tell about that experience too!

viennawoods13 November 5, 2012 at 6:05 pm
MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

I went outside, turned around three times, spat, and swore myself hoarse.

Not_So_Much November 5, 2012 at 1:05 pm

No shit, I have a Righty pal who's only source is some Reagan-based blog. (Anything else is obviously biased bullshit.) According to Ghost Reagan, Mittens will with the Electoral College by more than a 100 electoral votes. If anything else happens, the Teahaddists will be totes justified in shooting the rest of us in the face. For democracy.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

That's exactly what they're setting those stupid pricks up FOR.

Wile E. Quixote November 5, 2012 at 6:42 pm

This is why I keep saying that liberals need to gun up.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I totes agree, but lots of folks have kids at home, and under those circs … seems like the tighty-whitie-rightie set don't mind if a couple or more of their young'uns buy the farm, since they pump 'em out by the dozen, but us libtrads like to pop one or two at most and nurture them like a fucking cuckoo in the nest.

Not_So_Much November 6, 2012 at 5:59 pm

I can't wait to show this comment to my kids. They're going to laff and laff and laff.

Blueb4sinrise November 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Rasmussen

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Don't think I didn't hear that, Blue.

ChillBill November 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

According to Wingnuts, we are the real racists because we refuse to vote for a party that is 90% White. No snark; they say this without any sense of irony of self-awareness.

Cleopatriot November 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

But I'm only about 80 % white. Why should I vote for the 90%s?

Callyson November 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I went to that NRO article and sure enough, it was the usual "polls undersample GOP voters" line, coupled with "look how these polls missed the mark" examples. Sure, it's possible to cherry-pick some surveys that ended up being inaccurate, but if you take the *aggregate* of the polls they have a much better track record.

Or, you can whine about how "truther" is the new "racist." Yeah, go with that plan…

/obligatory FFS

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:51 pm

You're so cute when you do a swear.

SorosBot November 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

"Racist" would only be worn out if right-wing dickholes like the National Review employs would stop being giant fucking flaming racists.

SoBeach November 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Yep. Every poll is wrong. Deliberately wrong. That's how these polling firms stay in business — getting things wrong.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Well, that philosophy seems to work just fine for re-electing Republican politicians.

smokefilledroommate November 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

I believe all polls and all horoscopes.

CommieDad November 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

All you have to do, actually, to make a Republican Win a 98% probability is to skew every single poll 3 points in Romney's favor. That's it! Landslide!

HogeyeGrex November 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Flopsweat and desperation don't look good on anyone.

Disassembly November 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I'm not sure about that. Did you ever see A Time to Kill?

HogeyeGrex November 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I think that was mostly makeup and lighting.

qwerty42 November 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Well, perhaps this would help Jim with his problems understanding what is going on with all these numbers.

prommie November 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

The GOP really should start calling itself the CDP, the Cognitive Dissonance Party. They eased into the reality-denial racket, I suppose, with that famously remarked on search for the moral justification for greed. But now, the denial of unpleasant realities seems to be the entire raison d'etre of conservatisim. It is an entire ideology that is now based entirely on the philosphical version of putting your fingers in your ears and screaming "I can't hear you I can't hear you" over and over. They have painted themselves into the wrongness corner so thoroughly that they have nothing else left.

FakaktaSouth November 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

From the "Scientific American" article "Antiscience Beliefs Jeopardize U.S. Democracy"

"By falsely equating knowledge with opinion, postmodernists and antiscience conservatives alike collapse our thinking back to a pre-Enlightenment era, leaving no common basis for public policy. Public discourse is reduced to endless warring opinions, none seen as more valid than another. Policy is determined by the loudest voices, reducing us to a world in which might makes right—the classic definition of authoritarianism."

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Is this the "sexting" you guys were talking about? 'Cause it's not getting me in the mood.

FakaktaSouth November 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Whattya mean? It's got yelling, authoritarian dominance and sticking things in other things, how is that not HAWT? I know I'm all worked up. The sext is in where you find it.

prommie November 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

We get our kicks above the waistline, sunshine! Well, some of them, anyway.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

You're sounding happier. It's great. (Hugs prommie)

Wile E. Quixote November 5, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Just one more reason for me to admire you, you quote Murray Head lyrics.

MissTaken November 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I came.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Girl, you are EASY! Bet SorosBot reads you excerpts from ScienceNews for foreplay.

prommie November 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Shit, this is exactly where I was going with this, they have gone from denying the validity of the data on global warming, to flat out denying the validity of science itself because they failed at their attempt to criticize from within the framework of science. And now that they are denying science itself, the religious freaks who literally and truly do want to roll back the enlightenment itself have been loosed from their cages to run gibbering and slavering through the streets. They deny that rape is rape, for fucks sake.

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Gibbering, and Slavering
Live together in Wingnut harmony
Cheek by jowl in deranged, wild hordes —
Oh Lord, please save me!!

prommie November 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

You are a funny man, Mr. Kincaid. McCartney sans Lennon, its an ugly thing.

Wile E. Quixote November 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

We have to figure out better ways to get these losers to auto-Darwinate. Perhaps the next time there's a hurricane that's headed for a red state we should spread a rumor that the storm is a fake and the government is urging all of the white people to evacuate so they can put them in FEMA camps and give their properly to illegal immigrants from Mexico, who are also ghey Muslims.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

OT – There are cranky right wingers on my Facebook whining about how their vote doesn't count cause they live in "Wershingtin". So a person's vote only "counts" when they get their way. I know 4 year olds with more mature worldviews than that.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Tell them that there are 8 million Texas Democrats that feel their pain.

BadKitty904 November 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I know 4-year-olds who'd DEFINITELY get a switchin' if they threw some of the tantrums and generally pulled some of the pre-grade-school dumbfuckery the wingnutters have come up with in the course of this campaign…

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Do nothing to disabuse them of this notion!

Gleem McShineys November 5, 2012 at 2:42 pm

If they'd only vote for Obama, their vote could count! PROBLEM SOLVED

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Gleem, you are the *most* obliging soul! I'm off to tell them.

Oblios_Cap November 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

If it's published by NR, I just assume it's a lie or some other form of bullshit. I've never been wrong yet.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It's like the Onion, only not funny.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:58 pm

And not the useful kind you can wear on your belt.

SexySmurf November 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Serious question: What's the point of this "unskewered" poll shit, anyways? Doesn't it just give Republicans another reason not to waste their time voting for Mittens?

CommieDad November 5, 2012 at 1:19 pm

It's all part of the war on truth.

kyeshinka November 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

What is the sound of blackface watermelons smashing?

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I bet that Gallager guy knows.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I tried reading Geraughty's lengthy post, but overscrolled down and ended up instead opting for Jane Kaczsmarek Mommie Makeover ("Videos We ♥") because I hadn't realized she divorced the Democratic Party when she divorced Josh Lyman.

Estproph November 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Hey Geraghty, you know what word isn't worn out yet?

SHITHEAD.

gullywompr November 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Also too, BENGHAZI!

weejee November 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

This is popping out in more and more political pundit kitchens. This may be a Martha Stewart moment worth supporting.

IndianaKevin November 6, 2012 at 7:14 am

That's it! Rmoney's toast!

Mittens Howell, III November 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Where only using 'Truther' till Tuesday night, after that we're switching to 'NaNa NaNa Boo Boo'

Mittens Howell, III November 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

AWW Look, trolls have feelings too.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I'm just hoping that the NRO readers actually believe that Mitt has the election won so handily that they need not bestir themselves to vote.

widestanceromance November 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Same as it always is: blame is the currency of the party of personal responsibility.

Zango Crudmonger November 5, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Having perused young Jim's article, I now know of the Shy Tory Factor, which is much different than Shy Toy Factory, which is how I first read it. Perhaps something to do with toys hiding in unmarked packages when delivered? Anyway, doubt we in the states would ever be so lucky to experience the Shy Teabagger Factor, although we can hope.

BadKitty904 November 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

For some reason, my Granddad's good, ol' Southern expression, "Crazy as a rat in a tin can," keeps coming to mind…

TootsStansbury November 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Last time I stretched and twisted as much as this guy is doing, I developed quite the hitch in my get along. He should be careful.

Steverino247 November 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

OT: The Poll Martyrs High School Unskewers beat the Morse Science Technical School Equations to win the County Football Championship!

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

And now they're going to go fuck all the cheerleaders! With no birth control!!

Steverino247 November 5, 2012 at 6:58 pm

MMMMMCumming Mother!

fuflans November 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

So a lot of people who don’t read me that closely are going to look at what follows and interpret it as “Jim’s saying the polls are always wrong.”

i don't read you jim, not closely, not far away, not yesterday, not now, not ever.

still i know you're always wrong.

Gleem McShineys November 5, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I do not like your shit you write
I do not like your shit at night
I do not like it near or far away
I did not like it yesterday
I do not like your shit with oats
Therefore fuck you Jim, with votes.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

What's come *over* you, Gleem? You're on a ROLL today, dude.

Gleem McShineys November 5, 2012 at 6:37 pm

My witch-doctor just changed my prescription to white shell.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 10:39 pm

That's all it took, huh? Pieces of White Shell.

MissTaken November 5, 2012 at 1:41 pm

If it looks like a racist, swims like a racist, and trolls like a racist, then it probably is a racist

GeorgiaBurning November 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I'm expecting Arizona to announce their secession by Saturday, which should mean the staff at MCAS Yuma spend a busy weekend plotting the bombing runs over Phoenix for Monday morning. Sit tight, Gov Brewer.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 1:59 pm

The fellas at Luke AFB would probably like to get in a lick, too.

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm

If Arizona tries to leave, I'd rather just build the danged fence!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 10:53 pm

If AZ secedes, they'll find out mighty quick that Mexico is a large, well-armed neighbour and no longer afraid of retaliation from the US Govt.

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

That cover makes me want to hear some Najma:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFI27vpI5mY

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I didn't know you were into ghazals.

SayItWithWookies November 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

One other point: the exit pollsters [in 2004] were disproportionately collegiate women. Raise your hand if you think some men might be willing to tell a cute college coed that they voted for Kerry. Yup, me too.

So conservatives are more willing to lie to cute chicks, even if the contact is so incidental there's no possibility of getting tail? Gotcha. Or maybe they're just too ashamed of their candidates to admit voting for them.

Antispandex November 5, 2012 at 2:02 pm

EVERYONE knows that there is no such thing as a racist Reapublican (because of Lincoln, civil war, &c), and that polls always favor them unless the "Democrat Party" lies about them. Jeeze, that's just common sense….to Republicans.

Toomush_Infer November 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm

So at least and last, tomorrow, the truth will set us free….at last, thank God…..I'm ready for the argument on what happens if we don't give the military all our muniez….

Gleem McShineys November 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

"Crack-smoking Poll Truther Also Racist, Hacky, Smells of Wee, Suffers Extreme Butthurt"

christianmuslin November 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Should Mitt 'scrotum sweat' Romnoidectomy win tomorrow with his policies of reduce federal spending, reduce taxes for the rich, while increasing military spending, those red states up the middle (texas to north dakota) should really enjoy their reduced farm subdidies.

lulzmonger November 5, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Obvious troll is obvious.

Frau Doktor Maddow made the interesting observation that the GOP always campaigns in some whackdoodle state like PA the day before an election for POTUS – basically saying "look out, we're not just going to hold our regular Red states – we're taking your Blue ones too" … but that honorable old ritual of bullshittery is off the menu because Willard can't afford to do that kind of bluffing now.

Meanwhile, the Romney 2012 campaign just announced that its new deadline for campaign contributions is December 31st.

Selah.

marechanden November 5, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Relax, NRO, I'm not refusing to vote for Full of ShMitt because he's the whitest white guy who ever whited.

I'm refusing to vote for Full of ShMitt because he's the lyingest liar who ever lied.

elfgoldsackring November 5, 2012 at 6:40 pm

The Wise Latina? Ah, so that's not K-Lo on the cover, gotcha.

Wile E. Quixote November 5, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Yes, any lead that President Obama has in the polls is completely illusory because of the Bradley Effect. No one is really going to vote for President Obama, they're just telling Nate Silver that because otherwise he'll call them racists.

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 11:14 am

Relax, Jim. I suffered through eight years of Idiot Child Bush; you'll survive eight years of Barry. Shit, his reelection will mean you and the Limbaugh types will fucking thrive.

gullywompr November 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Don't we all…

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Why should YOU be different than any of US, hennnngggghh?

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I think it was in his byline.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 2:42 pm

On the terlet wall. BART.

prommie November 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm

There's a double-reference to 'head" in their, too!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Can you believe the dingbat who claimed Buddhists were coming to take over Amercia?

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I haz bin HAD!!! You tricksy little trickster!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Jah! Ki habi-jabi!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Yes. Exactly. West Indians are from the West "Indies," and East Indians are from India. They're referred to as "South Asians," just as Chinese ppl are referred to as "East Asians."

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

No. People from *that* part of the world are referred to as Southeast Asians.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 4:21 pm

At least you're okay. (I am assuming you aren't typing Wonkette snark from Critical Care…)

Sorry about the house, though- that's gotta be rough.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Good god, sweetie. C'mere,let me hug you some more.

Sheesh. We're lucky it missed ya!

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 4:24 pm

McCartney was Clever, and Lennon was Serious. Even after they stopped writing together, they still rubbed off on each other. After the split, McCartney became unmoored in frivolity, and Lennon's musical sensibilities turned obvious and sentimental. This has been your 30-Second Music Critic.

doloras November 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I think it's great that both Murray Head and his brother Tony made it big, and they have great singing voices also too.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Two heads are always better than one, promster.

doloras November 5, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Thanks for pointing that out. I'm sick of the people who call John a genius and Paul a hack for no better reason than Paul had the misfortune not to be murdered and thus had to keep going on a career.

mille derps November 5, 2012 at 4:58 pm

It's odd how government officials always seem to leave alcohol off of the emergency supplies lists.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Oh, man. I'm glad you had a bottle handy. Pretty fucking scary, my friend. So glad you're safe and unharmed. Take it easy, be good to yourself for the next few days. The shock is probably deeper than you realize. I'll never forget the night the oak tree landed on our roof. It was storming and there wasn't a thing we could do about it except lie in the dark, listening to the branches creak and scrape as they slowly slid down the house. Power was out, no heat, no light. If I were there right now, I'd cook you a rib-sticking ragu to warm you up and pour you as much wine as you could drink. Is the house intact, at least?

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Why are people from Java "southeast Asians" rather than "northwest Australians?"

Callyson November 5, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Oh, come now.Um, er, let me rephrase that…

gullywompr November 5, 2012 at 9:04 pm

First base!

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:48 pm

No, no, that was a good suggestion! BRB.

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Does that mean I have to roll over?

MittBorg November 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Brown.

ETA: One of Australia's foreign ministers back in the '60s achieved instant fame when he "quipped," "Two Wongs don't make a White."

Charming, eh?

Biff November 5, 2012 at 10:37 pm

No need to pretend, I am awesome!

MittBorg November 6, 2012 at 12:10 am

You are, actually. This has been one of my more successful marriages.

sewollef November 6, 2012 at 7:03 am

House is intact. In fact, we were luckier than most it seems, since our damage is minimal compared to Staten island, just a mile away across the Narrows.

Interestingly, Travelers Home Insurance have a cute caveat to their deductible policy. And I quote:

A. Hurricane 1 deductible: $1,000
B. Hurricane 2 and above deductible: $37,525
[I shit you not]
C. All other perils deductible: $1,000

Since Sandy wasn't a Hurricane when it hit Brooklyn, guess what my deductible was? S'right, 'C'.

Sounds like you've had the same issues I've just gone through too. Oh, and your ragu sounds yummy Mitt [as a veggie I'd forego the meat part tho'].

And there's no rest for the wicked, librul, socialist. I'm back at work.

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