PITCHING WU  8:30 am November 5, 2012

Kansas School Board Candidate Will Solve Budget Problems By Eliminating Evolution

by Doktor Zoom

That "cause and effect" stuff is also a suspect doctrineJack Wu, an actual candidate for Kansas’s state school board, pledges on his very impressive homemade website to do something about the most serious problem facing the schools today:

The current public educational system in Kansas and the United States is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts.

And how will he address this specific set of issues?

My mission, in running for the Kansas State Board of Education, is to throw out the crap that teachers are feeding their students and replace it with healthy good for the soul knowledge from the holy scriptures.

Because that would be totally legal. Who knows, maybe it is? So, let’s see what parts of the curriculum he thinks need revising. We will guess maybe he thinks students need better critical thinking skills to be effective members of a modern high-tech democracy, right?

Let’s be specific. Evolution should never be taught in public schools as science. Evolution is false science! God made the heaven and the earth and created humans from the dust of the earth! The very bad teachers that teach that men descended from apes via evolution need to have their teaching licenses revoked. Yes, students should be taught that God created everything.

Oh, that was totally going to be our second guess! So, besides instantly stopping children from becoming crooks, thieves, murderers and perverts, would there be any additional benefits to throwing out the theoretical basis that’s at the root of modern biology and medicine?

School administrators are always complaining about budget problems and lack of funding for this or that. Haha, that’s funny. I have a really simple solution to solve that problem: Eliminate funding for evolution textbooks and pseudo-education. We’ll save a ton of money! Tell those evolution textbook publishers to recycle their waste of paper, and tell those evolution teachers to teach truths instead of lies.

The lies of men and of the devil need to be expelled from the classrooms of Kansas, and of the United States, and of the world. Make room for the truth of God!

Yep, and if there’s some kind of lawsuit filed over Mr. Wu’s education reforms, there’s no need to spend any money defending it, because he’s besties with the Westboro Baptist Church, which is a whole congregation chock full of lawyers! (We don’t know if they’d donate their services for free, though, since that doesn’t appear to be part of their business model.)

In any case, Kansans might want to start practicing saying “Board of Education Member Jack Wu,” because even though he’s only raised $5 and spent nothing campaigning, he’s running in a very conservative district and has an “R” next to his name, despite efforts by the Kansas GOP and Gov. Sam Brownback to distance themselves from Wu because of his relationship with Westboro.

Oh, and the baby in the dumb illustration is calculating the volume of a sphere, but don’t go thinking that means Jack Wu accepts your weirdo secular theories about the non-flat Earth. Also, the Westboro media apparatus has a video explaining their relationship with Mr. Wu, noting that while he attends their maybe-it’s-a-Poe church, he is not a member of the church.

Yes, he said “interwebs.” We are beginning to gain a new appreciation for the argument that WBC is actually just Deep Trolling.

["Mission: A WebsiteBuilder Website" / Huffpo]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 172 comments }

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 8:33 am

Haha, that's funny, indeed. Actually, it's not funny, at all.

Mr. Wu, the Taliban called; they want their religious fundamentalism back.

boskolives November 5, 2012 at 8:58 am

Did the Taliban call collect? You know how cheap those bastards are.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 8:59 am

Actually, it's horrifying.

Doktor Zoom November 5, 2012 at 9:11 am

Also, 1998 called and asked for its website design back.

1stNewtontheMoon November 5, 2012 at 8:35 am

if you've been to kansas, you know evolution stopped there years ago.

GunToting[Redacted] November 5, 2012 at 9:42 am

Oh, so THAT'S the matter with Kansas.

NellCote71 November 5, 2012 at 10:34 am

Eboli libel.

cousinitt November 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Hey! Watch it, bub! I'm from Kansas, ok?

What? My pseudopod is showing? Never mind that, I may be a mollusc but I'm proud to be from Kansas.

BadKitty904 November 5, 2012 at 8:35 am

OT, but heartiest congrats to the patriots who voted early, esp. those in Florida and Ohio, who, despite the best efforts of their elected officials, managed to cast their ballot. Here's hoping said votes are actually counted!

weejee November 5, 2012 at 8:45 am

Even moar congrats to those who vote early and often.

/ to offset the intimidations and miss-counting touch screens, and with votes not pitchforks

Barbara_ November 5, 2012 at 8:36 am

He has an "R" next to his name? I wonder if Ann Coulter put it there?

VA_Dreaming November 5, 2012 at 10:42 am

Wu does not like women. I realize that Ann Coulter is only technically a women, but without a penis Wu is just not interested.

memzilla November 5, 2012 at 8:37 am

Yes, students should be taught that God created everything.

Well, that would certainly shorten the school year to about three minutes.
Class Dismissed!

editor November 5, 2012 at 10:40 am

in fact, why bother with school at all? the righteous can simply go to church, and the liars, crooks and thieves will have so much more time for their lyin', crookin' and thievin'. and think of the money it will save! no more school board members to pay!

oh, wait.

Schmannnity November 5, 2012 at 8:37 am

Mr. Wu appears highly evolved from his Chinese name. Just sayin.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 9:43 am

Actually, the name was cut off. It's actually Jack Wu(tthefuk).

NellCote71 November 5, 2012 at 10:35 am

The name Wu is not in the Bible, so ipso facto, QED, not a real person.

GemlikeFlame November 5, 2012 at 8:38 am

Deepak Chopra, is that you?

Schmannnity November 5, 2012 at 8:39 am

When Sam Brownback thinks your a conservative kook, it's time for a reappraisal.

freakishlywrong November 5, 2012 at 9:14 am

The Westboro Batshit church will be mainstreamed within a year.

EnnuiThereYet? November 5, 2012 at 8:41 am

Finally we know what's the matter with Kansas.

weejee November 5, 2012 at 8:42 am

Eew, that post has Wu all over it. Next time wash yer hands Dok.

An_Outhouse November 5, 2012 at 8:43 am

What type of Judeo-Christian White European name is Wu?

RomneysLogCabin November 5, 2012 at 9:02 am

It's actually an ancient Chinese surname meaning false prophet. 不客气

VA_Dreaming November 5, 2012 at 10:43 am

Which explains why he is not allowed to join the church, only attend.

Mittaplasia November 5, 2012 at 11:30 am

It was Wurzelbacher but it was already claimed by another of their rising stars.

memzilla November 5, 2012 at 8:44 am

Trudeau still has the best retort to creationists.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 9:11 am

That's blocked for me. Garry, Pierre, or Margaret?

Terry November 5, 2012 at 8:44 am

"Let’s be specific. Evolution should never be taught in public schools as science. Evolution is false science! God made the heaven and the earth and created humans from the dust of the earth!"

But creationism is very good science? What are they hypotheses? H0: God is great and created the heavens and the earth and all the inhabitants there of. H1: God is great and created the heavens and the earth and all the inhabitants there of.

"The very bad teachers that teach that men descended from apes via evolution need to have their teaching licenses revoked. Yes, students should be taught that God created everything."

Sounds like he downloaded some Taliban teaching guides.

redarmyzombie November 5, 2012 at 9:11 am

Allahu Akbar!

NellCote71 November 5, 2012 at 10:36 am

Allawu Akbar /fixed.

Steverino247 November 5, 2012 at 11:34 am

Well, it would be incorrect to say men descended from apes since we're still a part of the family. If you don't believe that, just observe any baseball manager arguing a call with the umpire. If that's not primate display behavior, what is it?

Loch_Nessosaur November 5, 2012 at 8:46 am

IndiscriminateDelete is deleting all my posts again for not being clever enough.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 9:15 am

I guess the unspoken message here is "better step up your game."

Loch_Nessosaur November 5, 2012 at 9:22 am

I always knew I was just kidding myself about commenting here.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 9:46 am

You think that's a nuisance? You'll know you've "made it big" when you achieve the Threatened-To-Be-B@nh@mmerd Hall of Fame! There's a bourgeoning complex of us have enjoyed that experience with as little warning as two shakes of Nessie's scaley tail!

Incitefully_Joe November 5, 2012 at 9:49 am

I'm a little bummed that outside of some antagonistic jesting on my part directed at certain previous editors, I don't believe that anyone's ever threatend to bahn mi. I feel kinda left out.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:55 am

"two shakes of Nessie's scaley tail!"

I BEG your–!!
I do NOT have–!!
Oh.
NESSIE's scaley tail.
Carry on, then.

njstore November 5, 2012 at 10:22 am

Does it require being over 100 p points? I think I am save for now.

ttommyunger November 5, 2012 at 8:47 am

The American Taliban is alive and well in some states. Well, alive, anyway.

Texan_Bulldog November 5, 2012 at 8:48 am

I thought Asian people were supposed to be smart.

kittensdontlie November 5, 2012 at 9:14 am

His tiger-parents failed him.

NellCote71 November 5, 2012 at 10:38 am

And I didn't think there would be any in Kansas, anyway. Obviously a sleeper cell.

Nostrildamus November 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Bet he sucks at ping-pong, too.

CrunchyKnee November 5, 2012 at 8:49 am

I'm beginning to believe that these people in Kansas and Missouri are not being jolly japes, but are actually serious with their words and such.

WhatTheHolyHeck November 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

"Jack moved to Topeka, Kansas after seeing the light of Westboro Baptist Church."

My troll-sensor is bleeping loud enough to wake the dead.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 8:49 am

"The current public educational system in Kansas and the United States is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts."

My God, don't we have enough fucking Republicans already?

LibertyLover November 5, 2012 at 8:54 am

Apparently not, otherwise they wouldn't want to ban birth control either.

deanbooth November 5, 2012 at 8:51 am

Ypu, one way to defuse a bomb is to remove all the working parts.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:58 am

but not the LED display that counts down in large red numbers.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 5, 2012 at 8:52 am

It figures that the Republicans finally get a non-white guy on their ticket and he’s a 99 on the Wacko-Meter™.

boskolives November 5, 2012 at 8:52 am

Toto, I don't think there's a place for us in Kansas anymore, because doggy style is too close to butt seks to the casual observer, so put that lipstick away and let go of my leg.

Beach_Bubba_Tex November 5, 2012 at 8:52 am

Did the guy on the right be-head the guy on the left? I'm not clear on the messages here.

Fairtackle November 5, 2012 at 8:53 am

Everything gets so much simpler when you throw out science and just make shit up.

LibertyLover November 5, 2012 at 8:53 am

To Wong Foo Jack Wu, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 8:53 am

It's always about WBC; it always comes back to WBC. **sigh** We should have the ability to put states and regions on probation.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 8:55 am

This guy reminds me of my favorite song from Kill Bill

Wu hoo wu hoo hoo
Wu hoo wu hoo hoo
Wu hoo wu hoo hoo
Wu hoo wu hoo hoo
Wu hoo wu hoo hoo

Now if we could just get Uma Thurman to take him out, with her samurai vote counter.

CrunchyKnee November 5, 2012 at 9:00 am

Shonen Knife libelz!

RomneysLogCabin November 5, 2012 at 8:57 am

I pre-nominate Jack Wu for a Darwin Award… it's bound to happen.

or a rent-boy scandal.

Beach_Bubba_Tex November 5, 2012 at 9:03 am

Outside chance that he's simultaneously struck by lightening and mauled by a bear. God has his fun, y'know.

redarmyzombie November 5, 2012 at 9:13 am

Whilst eaten by sharks.

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 8:58 am

I wonder what his Wu Tang Clan name is. Mine is "Insane The Grym Reaper," which makes no fucking sense at all.
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/2433
Edit: I checked: Jack Wu=Babyfaced Jesus. Perfect.

Incitefully_Joe November 5, 2012 at 10:47 am

I am "Othorized Terrorist".

(How did it know????)

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Barack Obama is "Babyfaced Bastard." Willard Romney is "Illmaster Hyper Snyper."

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 8:58 am

I know the crazy is not supposed to be understood or make sense, but creationism is no more a science than evolution is a religion. It's like holding band class during your biology class. You might not like biology class, but that doesn't make band class biology class just because you decided to hold it in the same room.

You don't have to like evolution, but that doesn't make creationism science. Find some other scientific theory that explains where we are, or GTFO. You can't replace physical observation with something that can't be physically observed/sensed.

SorosBot November 5, 2012 at 9:07 am

But creationism has lots of scientific evidence behind it! Some old book says it's so. That's science, right?

LibertyLover November 5, 2012 at 10:14 am

I don't think that word "science" means what you think it means…

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:12 am

I'm actually kinda certain that Wu spontaneously generated from some rat infested rags.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 10:10 am

IT'S WHATEVER WE SAY IT IS, BECAUSE JEEEEEBUS!
WAHHHHHH!!!
*falls on floor, throws tantrum*

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

*begins to speak in tongues*

neiltheblaze November 5, 2012 at 9:01 am

See what happens to a state where they ban alcohol?

ManchuCandidate November 5, 2012 at 9:01 am

Darwin sez: Wu Who?

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 9:03 am

Wu's on first?

BoatOfVelociraptors November 5, 2012 at 10:18 am

I'm looking for a man!
What man?
The man with the Power!
What power?
Oh the power of Wu who.
Who do?
Oh Wu do, Wu do!

neiltheblaze November 5, 2012 at 9:06 pm

As he simultaneously whirls his index finger in the air.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:03 am

"Oh, and the baby in the dumb illustration is calculating the volume of a sphere…"

Just height x width x length. Cause when he grows up, the kids head will be a cube.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 5, 2012 at 9:03 am

OT: Anything going on this week?

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:05 am

Well, there is going to be a clusterfuck of a storm on Tuesday night, but the rest of the week seems open.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

I heard that was changed to Wednesday.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:41 am

I'm taking Wednesday off. If we win, I will drink heavily. And if we lose, I will drink heavily.

NellCote71 November 5, 2012 at 10:40 am

If we lose, I will be packing my belongings for parts far away. While I still have what is left of my 47%.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 10:09 am
natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

Gee, that seems like the type of story that would warrant more media coverage. I'm sure Faux nooz will be all over that.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 11:58 am

*fapplause*

Please go post this on Wonkville. It has a place there, surely~

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I'm not sure exactly how to do that.
I typed, "UAW brings ethics charges against Romney", in the Tips Hotline box, pasted a link to the story on the UAW website, and clicked on Send.
I hope that worked. If that is not correct, and someone who is more knowledgeable than I am wants to post it, I would appreciate it.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Go to Wonkville, shown in righthand sidebar. Click at the top, where you see Tabs for "Hot" and "Newest", the tab that says "Submit Link." There you will see comment-like blocs to fill in with "hyperlink" and "Suggested Title" plus the URL of the host source for the article/ its home page. Finally hit "Submit." Good luck! (sending via TIPS/Hotline certainly encouraged, it deserves a front page post treatment)~

kittensdontlie November 5, 2012 at 9:05 am

That poor baby is calculating how large a balloon he would need to float the hell out of Kansas.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 9:06 am

The lies of men and of the devil need to be expelled from the classrooms

Why stop there, Mister Wu? Take your case to exorcist specialist Piyush "Bobby" Jindal!
Don't misconstrue when he backs away from you with crossed forefingers holding you at bay, that just means he's warming up.

SorosBot November 5, 2012 at 9:07 am

So he wants to throw out the Bill of Rights and replace them with the Ten Commandments? Really, what part of "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" don't you understand?

deanbooth November 5, 2012 at 9:24 am

Once you throw out the bill of rights, that no law stuff is no longer there. QED.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:43 am

All of them Katie.

Incitefully_Joe November 5, 2012 at 9:50 am

"respecting", "establishment", and "religion", from what I can tell.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 10:10 am

I'm guessing he doesn't understand the meaning of most words.

MonkeyMotion November 5, 2012 at 9:07 am

Bobby Jindal, your move.

StealthMuslin November 5, 2012 at 9:07 am

It's time to bring Involuntary Committal back. Hard.

Toomush_Infer November 5, 2012 at 9:09 am

Well, I don't know about that Wu, but the fellow from Westburo Baptist Church can take the candlestick of my temple right up his wastehole – don't they have state-sponsored medication for this level of dangerous crazy?….he sounds like he's about to go postal…..

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 9:09 am

♫ We blinded him with science
And failed him in biology ♪

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 9:10 am

This crooked, thieving, perverted comment was "expelled" by the administrator

freakishlywrong November 5, 2012 at 9:10 am

What's his stance on Sharia law? Sounds like he's all for it.

Chow Yun Flat November 5, 2012 at 9:13 am

The state GOP is trying to distance themselves from Wu–unless he wins, then he will be just fine.

oldedinvn November 5, 2012 at 9:13 am

If anyone ever wondered or cared why I left the US, the stupid hurts too much.

christianmuslin November 5, 2012 at 9:38 am

I am seriously planning to do the same- Santiago, Chile within a year. Bringing back the Articles of Confederation is not the answer. Just wait until they post speed limits with Roman numerals instead of those terror inspired Arabic ones!

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:45 am

I haven't lived in the US since 1990. Kinda sad to see it wasting away from afar.

But still better than up close.

Katydid November 5, 2012 at 10:35 am

I researched emigrating to Canada when the Supreme Court named W emperor, but I don't speak French.

mbatch November 5, 2012 at 9:13 am

Sigh. Kansas was still having this argument when I was in high school there back when Koch the elder was calling my mom a communist (she sponsored an International Christmas Fair at the YWCA). Don't these guys ever die off?

BaldarTFlagass November 5, 2012 at 9:18 am

♫ I once heard it said
That old assholes never die
They just lay in bed and
Multiply. ♪

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 9:33 am

No they don't, and you can't blame it on "old" vs. "young" as if this was 1969. At least two generations since "The Establishment" are just as stupid and cretinous as a '50s John Bircher.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:47 am

Worse. Birchers were a tiny minority. Now, half the voting population in aggregate in the USA is crazy.

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:13 am

Will they all behave when they get a black president again, and, realize that since it's his last term that they can't make him a one-term president and just give up?

Of course they won't. Who the hell am I kidding?

Doktor Zoom November 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

Oh, come now. WBC was every bit as bugfuck crazy and anti-science when GWB was preznit. Their thoroughgoing hatred of all humanity, especially fags, transcends every other consideration.

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:21 am

It was really just a general thought with the electon being tomorrow, because as we know, WBC is about the most ideologically narrow group as you'll find anywhere. Even in this video they make it crystal clear they aren't endorsing the guy. I'm sure he's not pure enough for them. At the end of the day, it's always about them.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:49 am

"I'm sure he's not pure enough for them."

You are not suggesting that some group has impurified his essence, are you?

Incitefully_Joe November 5, 2012 at 10:41 am

I'm pretty sure Negropolis meant "pure" in the sense that the bloodlines of European royalty were "pure", which is why they had all of that hemophilia and those other rare genetic conditions.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 10:16 am

As long as President Obama gets re-elected, I really don't give a shit what the bibble thumpers do.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 10:20 am

x2

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I needed that. I really need to stop caring, which I why I hope to the FSM that we can get past tuesday.

Katydid November 5, 2012 at 10:36 am

You are adorable when you're naive.

redarmyzombie November 5, 2012 at 9:18 am

Dear god, that visual alone makes my head hurt; you just KNOW these dipshits actually do think that way.

Oh, and he's close to the WBC? Has anyone thought to run clips of them, say, desecrating the funerals of fallen soldiers during this election? 'Cause conservative or not, that's got to count for SOMEthing!

Doktor Zoom November 5, 2012 at 10:05 am

His opponent has definitely made that a major focus. She's got "D" next to her name, though, so the thinking is that only people who actually pay attention to the campaign will know the slightest thing about either of them, which gives Wu a huge advantage.

redarmyzombie November 5, 2012 at 10:20 am

*sigh* Figures…

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

I hear that, in the original book, Dorothy didn't really want to go back.

Incitefully_Joe November 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

Some days I don't want to live on this planet anymore, either.

(Note that this was basically the original context of that clip actually too)

Guppy November 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

I was thinking more this.

FakaktaSouth November 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

Could someone to tell me more about this class on how to be a pervert? I feel there may be a teaching job in Kansas for which I might be an expert.

Oh wait, he means "gay guy" right? Damn it. Vaginally challenged AGAIN.

Doktor Zoom November 5, 2012 at 10:06 am

You're in luck! He thinks anyone who enjoys sex is a prevert.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

Where does one sign up for this class you're teaching?

docterry6973 November 6, 2012 at 3:23 am

I'd like to sign up for the class too, but I don't really 'challenge' a vagina, if you get my drift.

chascates November 5, 2012 at 9:20 am

My local NPR station just ran an interview with the local Texas Education Board candidate. It would be his second term and he's still running on his original platform of returning patriotism to schoolbooks, teaching abstinence-only sexual education and the dangers of having sex, and the many falsities of evolutionary theory.

In 20 years these same people may be throwing acid in the faces of kids trying to attend 'government' schools that teach heresies they oppose.

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:25 am

I'm so glad our state board of eduction hasn't gotten this political, but I fear it's only a matter of time. Some of the university board races have gotten pretty ideological, lately, with the GOP running tea party candidates, but the Dems, here in Michigan, still control all the university boards as well as the education board.

Doktor Zoom November 5, 2012 at 9:23 am

Just to be 100% clear, the illustration is from creationist loons "Answers in Genesis," not from Jack Wu or the Westboro loons. They're still science-denying idiots, but a different flavor.

christianmuslin November 5, 2012 at 9:28 am

Who are these 'Dust People'?
Republicans, oh never mind.
Carry on!

cheetojeebus November 5, 2012 at 9:29 am

Oh geeze, yeah, this guy has all the answers doesn't he.

calliecallie November 5, 2012 at 9:32 am

Yuck. I actually went to the guy's lame little website and now I just feel dirty.

boskolives November 5, 2012 at 9:43 am

I thought you needed 'Netscape to view that page

Allmighty_Manos November 5, 2012 at 9:43 am

"The current public educational system in Kansas … is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts."

That explains a lot about Kansas.

kyeshinka November 5, 2012 at 9:48 am

Finally, a great alternative to a Mensa meeting.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:48 am

"The very bad teachers"

Is this guy five years old?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gdsnp8oRDs

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:50 am

Wu who?

kyeshinka November 5, 2012 at 10:50 am

Cindy Lou Wu Who.

bearperney November 5, 2012 at 11:45 am

That's right. (with apologies to Abbott and Costello).

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:53 am

Overcompensating for his cousin David Wu?
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20083560-5

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:53 am

"Deep Trolling."

More like DERP trolling, amirite?

bfddad November 5, 2012 at 10:00 am

But wait – the kid still has a bomb. Now we have an armed and dangerous religious zealot?

Flat_Earther November 5, 2012 at 10:03 am

I didn't know I was on the ballot in Kansas.

not that Dewey November 5, 2012 at 10:17 am

RE: Ten Commandments — why is it that the Fundies need to be reminded every two minutes not to kill people? I'm a godless commie, and I've gone 44 years without killing anyone. DON'T FUCKING PUSH YOUR LUCK, FUNDIES

Katydid November 5, 2012 at 10:33 am

I have a really simple solution to solve that problem: Eliminate funding for evolution textbooks and pseudo-education. We’ll save a ton of money!

Because replacing those textbooks with Bibbles and tithing would be SO much cheaper. To say nothing of the future therapy bills for the students.

VA_Dreaming November 5, 2012 at 10:37 am

Wu says "The current public educational system in Kansas and the United States is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts."
We know this is false because if it were true all public school graduates would be joining the Westboro Baptist Church.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 10:46 am

That anyone should cede the smallest iota of credibility, much less authority, to this fraternity of autofellating fantasists is a loss and a shame to all of society.

azeyote November 5, 2012 at 10:48 am

i can tell he was an A student . probably top of his class.

fuflans November 5, 2012 at 10:52 am

really? they have no booze?

that explains so very much.

neiltheblaze November 5, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I think 19 of their counties are still dry.

Biff November 5, 2012 at 10:59 am

Well, then. This changes everything!

Oh. For. Fuck's. SAKE.

VA_Dreaming November 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

In his biography, Jack Wu states he was taught about evolution in elementary school, then transferred to a Christian school in the 7th grade. So basically he has an elementary understanding of the theory he is bashing. I think this explains quite a bit about him.
also, after seeing him interviewed, I am pretty convinced he is gay, and is spending most of his time and energy trying to distance himself from his true self.

GeorgiaBurning November 5, 2012 at 11:16 am

No more bacon cheeseburgers, either. Oh, wait…

bearperney November 5, 2012 at 11:42 am

I was born and raised in Kansas; a week after I graduated from Topeka High School in '67 I bought a bus ticket out of the state and have never gone back. It was batshit even then, even the teenage me could see it.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

This a classic case of misdirected Wu.

Barrelhse November 5, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Jack- Can ya throw in a little I-Ching?

HistoriCat November 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Tell those evolution textbook publishers to recycle their waste of paper

Damn hippie.

MadBrahms November 5, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I'm always fascinated by the rhetorical moves the guys make. On the one had, the bible, rather than the scientific method, is the source of ultimate authority. On the other, people like Wu (and our Christianist textbook friends!) feel qualified to pronounce evolution by natural selection "false science". Are they referring to some parallel universe science? Science from a dimension in which Charles Darwin was a fundamentalist preacher with a goatee and Karl Popper put unbelieving secularists into agony booths until they accepted the authority of scripture?

imissopus November 5, 2012 at 6:05 pm

All we are is derp in the wind…

docterry6973 November 6, 2012 at 3:25 am

I really hope Wu wins. The GOP is just going to keep running crazier and crazier people. Some state has to be the one where the sane people rise up and say 'enough'. Why not Kansas?

ttommyunger November 6, 2012 at 11:34 am

Dorothy- "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto." Toto- "Thank fucking God!"

Chet Kincaid_ November 5, 2012 at 9:53 am

Ken Layne menaced me by asking how I'd like being one of a million commenters on HuffPo, instead of the Superstar I am here. It warmed my cockles.

thatsitfortheother1 November 5, 2012 at 9:55 am

1.5 million today and tomorrow. 1 million Wednesday.

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 9:57 am

Fun fact: a "cockle" is a very small clam:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockle_(bivalve)

Note how unfair: no word for a very small *female* clam.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 5, 2012 at 10:13 am

Are you implying that your tail has no scales, and are we to assume it some smooth assed tail, capable of shakin without flakin?

Incitefully_Joe November 5, 2012 at 11:12 am

Hmm, then a warmed cockles bahn mi would be like an oyster po'boy, but Vietnamese fusion? Sounds delicious.

Mumbletypeg November 5, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I wanna wait til commenter ClamityJames weighs in on this before I decide what I think.

HistoriCat November 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Whatever – let's see what tessiee's got – shake it baby!

tessiee November 5, 2012 at 5:57 pm

( ( (__|__) ) )

Negropolis November 5, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I meant ideologically pure, but either one of those works.

thatsitfortheother1 November 6, 2012 at 1:41 am

( . )
// \\

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: