we love you you pay our rent

Wonkette T-Shirts Are For Lovers

So we finally have our store up? It is at wonkettebazaar.com? It is still “in beta” as the nerds say, but we think it is ready but you can let us know if anything is totally fucked?

You can pay via PayPal, or click “PayPal Advanced” to pay with a credit card without having to have a stupid paypal account. (We know they freak many of you out.)

Coming very soon: So many panties! And maybe coffee cups? We don’t know, tell us what else you want. And no, we don’t know where to find your-logo-here vibrators. Maybe you know someone in the sex toy industry? Haha, we are just kidding, of course you know someone in the sex toy industry!

OK, Wonkers, shop away!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • nounverb911

    How do the T-shirts look when wet?

    • commiegirl99

      I am guessing fairly transparent!

      • gullywompr

        Needz moar research.

      • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

        PIcs!

      • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

        Just like Obama's government!

      • Boojum

        If I could be sure of that, as modeled by Rebecca and Kirsten, I would buy lots of them.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Absolutely fapulous.

    • emmelemm

      Slippery.

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Can't decide. Need a closeup.

  • YerMa

    Neez moar "Don't teabag on me" ware!!!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I still have mine. It''s too sacred to wear. Sometimes I take it out of the safety deposit box and just gaze at it in awe.

  • bfddad

    you job creator you . . .

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      The article said "Coming very soon: So many panties!", but I noticed that it works just as well if you flip the order to: "So many panties! Coming very soon".
      Or is that another cheap Romney trick to make me vote on the wrong day?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Wonkette condoms? That way I know I would never get laid!

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Out of the package, they say "Wonkette." Once expanded, they say "Wonkette, The D. C. Gossip Site, Brought to You by Siemens!"

      • HateMachine

        The whole point is to keep Siemens at bay, though.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …"Once expanded, they say "Wonkette, The D. C. Gossip Site, Brought to You by Siemens!"

        You left out the fine print "this pre-conception abortion is brought to you by Barack Obama and Beelzebub!!!"

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hey!

  • taylormattd

    This reminds me of the drunk girl at the twink bar the other night who kept demanding we feel her tits.

    • gullywompr

      Don't you just hate that?

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Do you have a newsletter?

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      Some str8 girls freak out all over the place when their usual methods for getting attention don't work, so they try harder.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Well! I'm sorry, I'll never say it again!…

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …hmmmmm, I never considered gay bars a good place to pick up women!? I may need to add that to my rotation!!!

      • Tio_Doidinho

        I have friends who swear by this pickup method. And it seems that every gay bar in NYC is populated with drunk horny girls hanging out with their gay friends.

        Just remember, if a gay fella hits up on you, all they have to know is that you're (politely) not interested. They don't have to know you're straight.

  • memzilla

    So… not taking cans of Hobo Beans?

    • mille derps

      Or even selling them?

  • Barbara_

    Two tank tops and one t-shirt here. I'm loving it!

  • JudasPeckerwood

    So might one dream that this online bodega will someday carry 2XL shirts for those of greater substance? I'm asking for a friend.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …you mean sizing for the average mid westerner!

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Hey that's not tr-… [looks out window] ya know ya got a point there…

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        The average mid westerner will admit only to being calorically challenged, or perhaps the correct weight but two feet too short. Or so I heard.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Many of them have reached "gravitationally challenged" status.

    • tessiee

      Lou: I thought you said XXL was going to be the wake-up call.
      Chief Wiggum [irritably]: That was for pants!

  • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

    While the dark bra under the light T-shirt may satisfy the requirements of Tits Or GTFO, that's not as satisfying as deep cleavage and sideboob. Have you considered selling deep cleavage and sideboob?

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      If I cut the sleeves off of one of those things, I could definitely provide both of those things.
      But seeing how I am a middle aged man, it wouldn't be pretty.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        We'll be the judge of that. And the jury as well.

  • gullywompr

    It works! Good luck with wonkettebizarre.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    You, KBJ and company look like you were having a blast modeling these. THANKS FOR THE EYE CANDY REBECCA~

  • memzilla

    Awaiting teh Offical Wonkette Panty Line®. I volunteer for Quality Inspector.

  • Guppy

    Coming very soon: So many panties!

    Gently used?

    • Mittaplasia

      They got a deal on a bunch of 'em collected after Handsome Joe's debate.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Then they weren't "gently" used at all!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Coming Soon: So Many Panties

    Well that's a relief. I was getting tired of cutting up the old tee's to do this from scratch.

    • AutomaticPilot

      Wow, THAT is talent!

  • Wadisay

    Crotchless underwear, whopee cushions, trucknutz..yes, it's all here. Please, now that you're a small business owner, don't go all teabagger on us.

  • cousinitt

    Is that a grrrrr or a hisssssss she's intoning with the whine? Or, a "buy this t-shirt or I kick you in the nutz"?

    • tessiee

      Buy this t-shirt, or we'll shoot the dog.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Or worse, make it ride in a box on the roof

  • RomneysLogCabin

    I'll settle for a Wonkette swimsuit calendar. Doktor Zoom is yummy.

    • fartknocker

      I vote for Limey Lizzie as Ms. November.

    • emmelemm

      And you know this how?

      • RomneysLogCabin

        Jesus tweeted me a pic.

    • http://yunoletmehavecoolwebnameblogspot.blogspot.com/ Jennyjen798

      Want!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      We just got the pics back from the wedding. Damn! I look good in a suit.

    • Negropolis

      He looks like a pony, doesn't he? Pony meat is, indeed, delicious.*

      #notintendedasanactualexperience

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Panties new or used?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Hint: the site is addressed merchant.Wonkette.jp.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Does the shirt come with the hot guy to kiss us?

    • BadKitty904

      Who's the guy w/ the beard? Grr-OWL…

    • BadKitty904

      Ah. The photo distracted me from the fact there is text, too. "This is KBJ and her boyfriend, “D.”"

      Way to go, KBJ! ;0)~

    • GregComlish

      heh, that guy looks like me.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …fine, fine, fine, the things I do for my fans!

    • VeraSevera

      Dude…I think it's a grrl….

  • kittensdontlie

    No one can be considered a serious Wonkette unless they get a logo tattoo.

    • mille derps

      Isn't 'serious Wonkette' sort of oxymoronic?

    • commiegirl99

      My son has a "Rebecca" tattoo, as seen in the Commie Girl Collective men's tees. Does that count?

      • gullywompr

        Nice. Did he try to fight you when you inked him?

        • emmelemm

          You made me laugh so loudly I scared the dog.

        • kittensdontlie

          That's one slave that isn't getting away. I wonder if temporary tattoos would be a good seller?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Is that girl wearing a bazaar?

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    True story: the Wonkette tote bag was my "Go Bag" during Hurricane Sandy when I had to evacuate my neighborhood. It held:

    – a MacBook Pro and two hard drives (for porn, obvs)
    – an iPad
    – folders full of important documents
    – chargers and cords
    – more important documents

    It is very sturdy, which Rebecca was worried about. Nothing ripped or tore! You should use it as your "Go Bag," too.

    • YouFail4eva

      What more endorsement do you need people? Buy Wonkette Stuff NAO!

    • commiegirl99

      Oh that pleases me! You should copy this to the "tote bag" review section on the bazaar, wonderful one!

  • fartknocker

    The wonkette bazzar confirms that liberal women are better looking, have much better snark skills, and they like to drink. If the GOP would embrace these values we would all be in a much happier place.

    For example, if Anita Perry would drink some margaritas and give Rick a blowjob every once in a while, I suspect my Governor would be a tad bit more tolerable. He would still be a goat fucker, but at least he would be a nicer goat fucker.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Going to need a bigger Margarita. And more of them. Maybe Rick can kick in a few Roofies just to be sure…

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Wonkette editorial staff is HAWT!

    (And boyfriend is adorable too.)

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Becca, we can haz t-shirts in black? (Slimming)

    • commiegirl99

      That's a fine idea, Nut. We will get on that!

      • emmelemm

        I will buy a white one, but would prefer a black one. (Slimming!) So I guess I'll have to buy two.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Yay!

    • mille derps

      Also, too- when you spill coffee or wine on a black tee, it's not such a laundry crisis…

      • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

        Yes, but you can actually put bleach on a white shirt!
        (Um…I have a lot of experience with this.)

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I was thinking the same thing. Yay!

  • RomneysLogCabin

    Suggestions: Doocy punching bag, Plan B, and an Obama bobblehead.

    • YerMa

      And Gay Abortion Giftcards also, too.

      • RomneysLogCabin

        Bible shaped charcoal.

        Pocket-sized Communist Manifesto.

        • YerMa

          Saul Alinsky prayer beads.

          Muslin pillowcases.

    • RomneysLogCabin

      Legitimate rape check wands.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Romney's tax returns, especially the ones that show he got insider info (Felony?) so he could sell his stocks just before the crash.

  • proudgrampa

    Hmmm. So, the Commie Tank Top: is that a "husband-beater?"

    Nice. Very nice.

  • menopausemafia

    Who's the skank?

    • sharethegrief

      Your mother.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Hope you do a better job fisting with your spending buck$ than you do with your snark.
      Hurry while supplies last!

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      Only 18 pee points? YOU NEED TO GET LAID, SUCKA.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      That's just offensive. Everybody knows the correct term for women of the liberal persuasion is slut.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Women of the liberal persuasion? Shirley you jest. You too, LaVerne.

    • Guppy

      Now now, look carefully and you can see the aspirin between her knees.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Hey loo-hooser!
      Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
      (Deep breath…)
      Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

    • Negropolis

      I'll have you know, Ms. Mafia, that our Wonkette women are not skanks, they are fine and upstanding sluts, thank you very much. **harumph!**

      • CthuNHu

        Somehow, when I think of fine sluts, the word "upstanding" does not come to mind.

        But hey, whatever floats your boat…

        • UnholyMoses

          Maybe not "upstanding" but "standing up" isn't out of the question.

          Well, at least to start the night …

        • Boojum

          When I think of Becca and KBJ, "upstanding" is a fine word to use.

  • redarmyzombie

    Miss Editrix,

    Will the Wonkette Bazaar be carrying its own line of alcohol?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Absolut Editrix.

      • memzilla

        Stay snarky, my friend.

    • Beowoof

      Is there going to be a Wonkette version of three buck chuck?

      • redarmyzombie

        THREE buck? Over 'round where I'm from, it's TWO bucks, pal!

        • Beowoof

          Here in the east it's $3. Still better than some wines that I have paid a lot more for. Although, we have to go to Ohio or Mass from Rochester to get it, it is worth the road trip.

    • Guppy

      Sold in plain brown wrappers!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I'm not always snarky…

      But when I am, I prefer Wonkette.

    • Negropolis

      This is Wonkette. It's BYOB.

  • DrunkIrishman

    WHERE'S MY HANDOUT?

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Are you planning to stock patois?

    • tessiee

      And cakes we like?

      • emmelemm

        She would offer that, and cedar cheese, but then she'd have to get freezer shipping packs, and things would just get complicated….

    • Negropolis

      Or foie blah?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Or stock replys?

  • SagansTurtlenck

    The Kitten with a whip tees really need to come in black. I can't wear white because of all the booze I'm constantly spilling on myself.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Aw man, I'ma have to start wearing panties if y'all do this. At least for a minute or so. I'll be waiting!

    • ttommyunger

      Underwear's no funtowear! Never ferget.

      • FakaktaSouth

        High five. I just adore you.

        • ttommyunger

          Hmmmm. You know I hail from the “Show Me” State, right? ;)

          • Negropolis

            I'm surprised that's not the city motto of New Orleans. Well, with "inebriation" put on the end.

          • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

            I yell "Show me your boobs!" to the cops at Mardi Gras parades. They are surprisingly good natured about it. The male ones, anyway.

          • ttommyunger

            Atlanta boasts scores of Titty Bars where the girls routinely remove everything but their lipstick. They are open six days a week from noon to ? and most require no cover or minimum, so there is little need to drive through Dogpatch for hours to see jugs if one lives in this corner of the so-called Bible Belt. 'Course, sometimes a feller just likes a little dirt under his fingernails.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • CommieDad

    In the Pacific Northwest®, we would like Wonkette branded glass "art" and Wonkette branded "cigarette" rolling papers, please.

    • tessiee

      Also, here's a carved wooden box to keep incense or potpourri or tobacco or spices in… it's not for weed.
      http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/989437/

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Wonkette branded hemostats would be a hit in the surgical suite, too.

    • UnholyMoses

      I'm sure Tommy Chong could hook ya up.

      Use those fancy connection you've made. Maybe Clint knows him (as he'd have to have been high to make the "Any Which Way … " series of movies).

  • BTWBFDIMHO
    • Geminisunmars

      currently unavailable.

  • VodkaGoGo

    Wonkette bath salts for convention/debate/election night! With the Wonkeratti all spazzed out on bath salts while staring at Paul Ryan talking about eating old people for a few hours, what could possibly go wrong? That shit would sell itself.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Wha?

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    No photoshop contents, no wet t-shirt contents. What's next, big sky?
    Ma fra un bicchiere di neve e un caffé come si deve quest'inverno passerà. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWamDWlmSmE

  • drewehartnyc

    needs moar big boy sizes – definitely would buy multiple coffee mugs!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      x2 on the coffee mugs.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Yes, coffee mugs. Not "poop filled" though – funny at first, but takes up too much room for coffee.

    • ElPinche

      x2 on the XL or XXL …. I am also muscular.

      • commiegirl99

        There are XL on the Wonkette Men's kitten with a whip … unless you are El Lady?

        • ElPinche

          El Manboobs

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Big sizes please!
      (The "girls" need breathing room.)

    • Serolf_Divad

      I was thinking coffee mugs, too. Which I kinda suspect makes me the most boring person on earth… well, after the rest of the people on this comment thread, anyway.

    • Fuck Toad

      Yeah, no way I'm squeezing all this man into an XL.

      A coffee mug would be good, though.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Too bad these weren't available in time for me to pass out to trick-or-treaters.
    But the timing is impeccable for upcoming holiday-gift season. Never too early to plan your "stocking stuffers"!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Sure, like those trick-or-treaters complained about the roofies! I mean, before they passed out…

  • emmelemm

    KBJ is one hot bitch! And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

  • ElPinche

    HOW MUCH ARE DA WIMMINS..THE BLOND ONE AND DELISHIOUSLY BUSOMED ONE ??

  • VodkaGoGo

    Panties are great and all but what about the Wonkette boys (that don't wear panties)? I know I would wear a Wonkette banana hammock to my 'night job'.

    • emmelemm

      True Wonkette boys wouldn't balk at wearing panties.

      • ElPinche

        That's right. In fact, I'm wearing some hand-made ones right now.

      • VodkaGoGo

        I will wear what Kitten With A Whip tells me to wear.

      • UnholyMoses

        True Wonkette boys wouldn't balk at wearing panties.

        All betterz.

    • commiegirl99

      We are doing men's tighty whities and boxer briefs. POSSIBLY boxers.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Oooh, I would def wear wonkette boxers.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Wonkette boxer jammies, please. My Simpsons pairs are getting worn out.

  • ElPinche

    It's almost has an American Apparel fap factor…needs more illegals sprinkled in the background.

    However, it's good to see David Weigel exercising his modeling chops.

    • Serolf_Divad

      American Apparel? Those two ladies have obviously been through puberty, so I'm suspicious American Apparel had anything to do with this.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "Home Shopping Netwonk "! You should leave this as the last post for the rest of the evening, Editrix. By the time I'm good and drunk I could very well empty my "funtimes" account on these goodies~

  • mille derps

    Please don't hate me for asking, but where was this toothsome merchandise made?

    • VodkaGoGo

      I'm guessing they were printed in Kommunist Kalifornia.

    • commiegirl99

      The Commie Girl Collective tees were made in Los Angeles. The Wonkette tees — well.

      They were made by (presumably) child slaves in Pakistan. :(

      Sorry, we will probs do all American Apparel on the next order — so you get to decide which is more important, a living wage, or freedom from sexual harassment.

      • redarmyzombie

        JERB CREATERS!!1!

        (I'm so sorry…)

      • HateMachine

        Don't forget to weigh the crucial "Dov Charney's facial hair" factor.
        http://i.imgur.com/UVh0j.jpg

        • BadKitty904

          wtf?

          • HateMachine

            As our wonderful editrix alluded to, that picture is of one Dov Charney, the unbelievably trashy and sexual harassment-y founder and CEO of American Apparel.

      • ALIVE!

        Worth considering: http://www.nosweatapparel.com/products/wholesalea

        Thanks mille derps!

        P.S. +1 on the coffee mugs.

      • mille derps

        Just FYI- these folks (in the other Carolina) have a good rep. Might be too expen$ive, tho?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Needs moar XL.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Needs moar than one "X".

      • Kidneys4Sale

        Also, too, fatter nek holez.

      • Fuck Toad

        Yeah, I'm a guy on the Internet, you know I need extra room for the ol' cheeto bucket.

        No, I'm just kidding, I don't eat cheetos. Burritos.

  • ProgressiveInga

    I find this post very easy to…..
    brb……..

  • LibrarianX

    As a skinny white guy, I need some Wonkette underwear that will finally give me an ass.

    • tessiee

      Butter pecan ice cream topped with pecan halves, dark chocolate with almonds, pizza with extra cheese — all proven to improve small behinds.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        If your concoction was a menu item, it should be named "Junk In The Trunk".

      • Fuck Toad

        According to Sir Mix-A-Lot, red beans and rice are called for here.

    • bibliotequetress

      Monsieur Bibliotequetress has the same problem. I find that if I sew three or four ruches of Irish lace around them at buttock level, not only does he have the appearance of an ass but it helps keep his pants up. Permanently.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      O.K., Here's Romney. Now that you got yourself an ass, what will you do with him?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    O.T. From o-HI-o.

    Same old, same old.
    ~

    • BadKitty904

      I've said it before and I'll say it again – if the Neo-cons can't win this election legally, they'll certainly try to steal it illegally.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Husted is a shameless Rethug dickhead who's now in contempt of court. He deserves to be frog-marched out of his office and put behind bars, until they figure out how to permanently put a stop to his assholery.

  • PsycWench

    Haha, we are just kidding, of course you know someone in the sex toy industry!

    Does being a customer count?

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      How about being Ron Jeremy's stunt double?

    • Steverino247

      Only if we can see you modeling the equipment!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I don't do white T-shirts; I reckon if black or gray are not forthcoming I will have to settle for panties.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Red, with "Wonkette" in white, would look awesome.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    If and when wonkettebazaar starts selling men's underwear, please call our old friend Anthony Weiner to model it. I hear he needs work and he has experience.

  • Calapine

    Would someone please buy me a Wonkette-dildo?

    *puppy eyes*

    • gullywompr

      Hmm, gives me an idea for the next drinky-thing…

      • Fuck Toad

        A Wonkette orgy? I'll run the camera…

  • memzilla

    MOAR BASEBALL CAPS PLZ!

  • memzilla

    O/T, but Chris Rock has a message for white voters.

    • tessiee

      V. good.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I see your Chris Rock, and raise you a Mr. Burns.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
    The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.
    Apache Server at http://www.wonkettebazaar.com Port 80

    Popular too….

    • gullywompr

      That is exactly the kind of problem you want to have.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Does your Apache Server own a casino?

  • StarsUponThars

    Oopsies, here's what I got when I tried to enter:

    Limit Exceeded

    The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

  • commiegirl99

    Goddamn you guys you already made the store exceed its bandwidth. FUCKERS. (Haha, it's supposed to be unlimited. Will be back up soon. PRESUMABLY.)

    • rocktonsam

      can you put that on a bumper sticker?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    i can't get through, says 'user has exceeded bandwidth'. Youz making fun of my waistline???

  • Terry

    Bandwidth exceeded! All you people are keeping me from shopping!

  • Fairtackle

    "Some of my best friends are sex toy manufacturers" – Mitt

    • ProgressiveInga

      Dildos are people, my friend.

      • Beowoof

        Exhibit A – Mitt Rmoney
        Exhibit B – Egg Rmoney
        Exhibit C – Paul Ryan

        I rest my case that some people are small dildo's.

      • bibliotequetress

        And dildos are politicians, as well.

  • JustPixelz

    WARNING. The T-shirts are shipped empty. The pretty wine-drinking girl is not included.

  • FeloniousMonk

    Needz teapots, for the proper brewing of a nice cuppa. No more teabagging!

  • njstore

    New Jersey Shore report.
    What a difference a couple of days make. I live about 45 min inland from my friends at LBI. Today I made a fuel run for the generators for a few families and also to make hot food. Sandwiches were getting old. I roasted up some chickens and whatnot. Grabbed that Apothic wine that was recommended on Wonkette and we ate and we drank. We toasted Wonkette in general because I couldn't remember who had suggested the wine. And then, with a tip of the hat to our fine WI protesters, we chanted.
    Whose shore is this?
    This is our shore!
    Whose is going to rebuild it?
    We are!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      [heart grows 3 sizes this day]

      Whose shore? Our shore!

      Tell me what rebuilding looks like!
      This is what rebuilding looks like!

  • ttommyunger

    Nice start, now just add a shitty scooter to the inventory and you'll be giving Harley Davidson a run for the muneeze.

  • UW8316154

    How much for the girl?

    • Steverino247

      No, no, no! It's "How much for just the girl?"

    • ttommyunger

      "Your daughters, how much for your daughters?"

  • Beowoof

    Hey finally got through the band width exceeded message, some very hot women there. Very hot indeed.

    • Beowoof

      Oh yeah as mentioned above some color would be good, Red with yellow lettering for the Commie Girl would send the whole message to red, white and blue teabagger Americans for stupidity.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I for one welcome our extremely fappable overlords/ladies.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Not sure if it's been suggested, but knowing this group we will need Wonkette branded pint glasses, shot glasses, wine glasses, highball glasses…

    • YerMa

      Martini glasses for those of us fancy 'ettes.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Yes. Also margarita glasses.

    • Geminisunmars

      Also logo encrusted roach clip. (are they still called roach clips?)

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Since we, the old, fat, and not young, will never get a t-shirt that fits, I can go for a pint or shot glass.

      • Fuck Toad

        Which makes it increasingly unlikely the shirts will fit, too.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          We're already pretty far past that event horizon.—

  • CrunchyKnee

    I would like the option of getting a black t or some other color other than white.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    KBJ sighting! Okay, so what is she doing now? I'm not being a stalker, I just care if she's writing funny stuff somewhere, cuz what a waste if not. Or did she win a huge lottery and just say "fuck it"…

    • commiegirl99

      She's getting a lot of work from a News Organization that we will not name lest her employment here be called to their attention. She's awesome!

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Well THANK YOU for clearing that up! I've only asked about KBJ about once a month now for the last 6 months! I'm starting to think you don't dote on my every single comment… We used to be close.

  • Geminisunmars

    Is the dog branded with Commie Girl, or Wonkette? And how much for him/her?

    • commiegirl99

      You can have Lilo when she decides to leave my side for more than four seconds at a time, which since she is a shepherd is NOT BLOODLY LIKELY.

      • emmelemm

        How did she survive your extended drinky tour? Poor doggie. (She looks sweet.)

        • commiegirl99

          My mom found a kennel that was full of uncaged happy dogs frolicking in the sunshine. If I'd left her with my son and my dad, I would have come home to a loft full of dogshit and had to murder everyone.

          • emmelemm

            Awww. Bless you for taking good care of the D – O – G.

      • Geminisunmars

        My chocolate lab is the same. My shitsu feels that way about the chocolate lab.

        • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

          Does the Lab give a Shitsu?

    • BadKitty904

      Wonkette pet items! Catnip mice for Chairman Meow! Etc.

  • EarthboneRebel

    Are they made in China ?Who cares ?I want one.

  • chascates

    Any 'Stoner Chick' T-shirts?

  • GregComlish

    My two cents: I'm ok with the white t-shirt, but the men's should have a v-neck option. Not the American Apparel "Super Deep D-bag V-neck®" just the regular v-neck. The logo on the men's tee should be larger and more central, similar to the women's tee.

    • GregComlish

      Just balance the white space is what I'm saying.

    • UW8316154

      Men appear more relaxed in a v-neck tee.

  • njstore

  • Disassembly

    I am offended that all you people are sexualizing these women. We should be sexualizing their policies.

    • Negropolis

      Hey, we're not Republicans.

  • YerMa

    I would like to see a Feminazi Penis Shrinker added to the store.

  • rickmaci

    Give shirts to charity, send a Commie girl. Either one in pictures looks to be good fit. Overnight delivery preferred. Thanks for your prompt attention to my order.

  • BloviateMe

    Three words: Polo shirt.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Henley or GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Fuck Toad

        Yeah, that would be nice. But for me it'd have to be in Extra-Extra-Extra-Planetary-Body size.

  • BarackMyWorld

    That looks nothing like her profile photo.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Thus continues the tyranny of thin, young, hipsters. Could you at least sell an iron on logo so I can put it on one of my Hanes Beefy-Ts?

  • cognachas4paws

    How bout some merchandise for pets? Bandanas would be good, maybe a collar and leash set. T-shirts for them, too, although getting my 125 lb. Husky/Shepard mix into one would not end well…for me.

  • Negropolis

    Very slightly related, but it looks like Katy Perry was back on the campaign trail for Obama, tonight, in Wisconsin. She didn't have one her ballot dress, but she had on an equally, umm, flattering "Forward" dress. I'm trying not to be pervy, but she looked like she could have popped out of a cake, if you know what I mean. lol

    • GregComlish

      She always looks like that. That's why we love her.

      • Negropolis

        Here's the pic so that I won't have to GTFO. It looks like they slipped her into a bag of Skittles.

        Mmmm….Skittles….

        • GregComlish

          heh, wonkette replaces all links with links to wonkette I am sorry to say.

  • LibrarianX

    No Bazaar is complete without the go-go boys.

    • BadKitty904

      Can Fare dance?

  • memzilla

    Perhaps combining merchandising forces with my old high school? (thanks, Firesign Theater !)

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I just had a fantasy………..about Ohio Sec. of State Husted…………
    NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!11

    I mean, he has a "OMG, what have I done!" moment like Alec Guiness at the end of ….Kwai , and blows up the whole GOP .

    [Yes, I've been drinking.]

    • Negropolis

      I had a fantasy about him, too…and it didn't involve sexytime or votes, let's just say.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Hmmmmm, puzzling………whatever could you mean…..?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I trust it had the "blowing up" part, at least.

  • Negropolis

    OT: Did anyone else see Egg & Mitt tearing up at a campaign rally, today? It was really pitiful. It wasn't the tears of a man and woman who just love American "ithis" much, but the tears of a couple knowing they are going to lose. I almost felt sorry for them.

    • gullywompr

      Yep, saw that too. It was a fucking concession speech if I ever saw one, except without the actual conceding.

      They know.

    • memzilla

      They've really improved the personality subroutine in the Mittbot 3.0 upgrade — shown here in beta testing– but, sadly, it won't be ready until after the election.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Don't feel sorry for them. They have people for that.

    • commiegirl99

      LINKY PLEASE

      • Negropolis

        I don't even remember what network I was watching.

        • IndianaKevin

          A local-to-Colorado Faux station, whose reporter described what may have been hundreds of attendees as "thousands." The story has only one comment: LOL. Fox news. lol.

          • bobbert

            To be fair to the reporter, that crowd looks like it might be "thousands", as in "about two thousand".

      • gullywompr
        • Close_Read

          Wow. They both look on the verge of tears. Also the half-empty venue, slightly sad considering how conservative Colo Springs is.

    • sudsmckenzie

      yeah I saw that, I guffawed. It was like Mommy and Daddy coming into the living room to tell the kids they still "love you very much" …. but.

      • Negropolis

        That's exactly what it was like, like a divorce announcemen, like they fought to keep the party together, but couldn't. Ann lost it, and the only thing that kept Mitt from losing it was that he ended his closing remarks quickly.

        In contrast, Obama seems to be practically gloating. I really hope he doesn't regret it. Looking at the numbers for months, now, and seeing the firewalls and such, my head is absolutely convinced we win this thing and bigger than the polls are predicting. My gut tells me that it is also completely possible that the polls are missing just as many base Republicans as they are base Democrats, and that coupled with obvious vote rigging, redistricting, and disenfranchisement could make this uncomorftably close when it shouldn't be and wouldn't be, otherwise.

  • Negropolis

    Why are most new(ish) replies (and some posts) all reading "active less than 1 minute ago" when they are minutes old? Anyone else noticing this glitch? It's really throwing me off.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      less than 1 minute ago

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      perhaps we are celebrating the end of daylight savings time early? or something? it's happening to me too.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      You've gotten yourself stuck in time. I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you… Vote Republican?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      It's Bamz' Time Machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      End times, obvs.

  • Redgyal

    Anything for doggies?

  • Sr. Madruga

    Obama pra presidente

  • mustangsavvy

    This is good news for John McCaine! Hhengh.

  • hellbabe

    Commie girl for me!!!!! Can get in white w/ v-neck, too?

  • UnholyMoses

    So who's the virgin boy sportin' the "Commie Girl" shirt and "Rebecca" tatoo on is left arm?

    He looks JUST like a guy I went to college with, if the pic was about 20 years ago ('cause dude HAS to look older now … doesn't he?).

    • commiegirl99

      You should read captions better. That is my son! (SRSLY not a virgin. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I walked in my front door to find his girlfriend fucking him on my couch? And now I know how I react to that. I close the door, walk back out, and crack the beer I have luckily just purchased. NOBODY WAS HAPPY.)

      • gullywompr

        Boy, kids these days, huh?

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        How did he even know how to do that? Surely you were a proper parent and opted him out of sex ed classes…

      • sudsmckenzie

        Wonkette Door Socks.

      • UnholyMoses

        Read the caption?

        Hell, I barely read the posts around here …

        ADDING: The thought o me walking in on my son when he's of that age is just … should I high five him afterward, or just leave it be?

  • UnholyMoses

    I can pay for this stuff with food stamps, right?

    • ElPinche

      FTW , my friend.

    • Biff

      I hope my medicare voucher also works.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Health Stamps!

  • ElPinche

    Ideas:

    – t-shirt with a skull fucking chainsaw with line through it (anti-SFC)
    – t-shirt or cum rag with IntenseDebate thumbs up
    – cock rings
    – t-shirt , ass-less chaps with -127 p (in red) , with text "WAR BLOGGER"

    if you like, call me.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Some very stimulating ideas; however, if Wonkette heads that way they might as well sell sex toys in bulk.

    • Fuck Toad

      I want a WAR BLOG patch, is what I want. Or a button is okay.

  • Negropolis

    Hold up; wait a minute. If Wonkette T-shirts are for lovers, then what is Virginia for, now?

    • gullywompr

      Vaginal probes.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      Civil War Reenactors.

      • AlterNewt

        White people, mostly.

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      According to Nate Silver, it's 71% for Hopey.

      • Negropolis

        FTW.

      • gullywompr

        More interesting is Florida, which is slightly pink, but has dropped from 55% to 54% to 53% in the past few days. Hoping it goes blue by Tues.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    That Lady looks dangerous.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    That's cool, Kirsten Boyd Johnston is dating Pau Gasol!

  • http://tactilepeggy.wordpress.com/ Pap Finn

    Does this mean that KBJ is going to be writing here again, or is that beneath her now that she has been promoted to Wine Model?

  • mille derps

    Now I am not drunk enough to say that Romney will lose in SC, but I've been wondering how motivated SC Repugs are about voting for Lord High Hairgel… http://www.thestate.com/2012/11/04/2507551/if-rom

    In 2008, Romney got 68,000 votes in the SC GOP Primary (15.3%) & in 2012 he got 168,000 votes (almost 28% of the vote).

    In the 2008 General Election. Obama got 850,000 votes, but still lost to McCain by about 9 points. http://www.thestate.com/2012/11/04/2507451/at-col

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR CLOCKS FORWARD!

    • Steverino247

      Nice try, Republican GOTV dude. LOL

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Republican voters traditionally have their clocks set back 130 years, so an hour or so plus or minus isn't going to matter much.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Ha!

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Nice try, but this day light savings thing is known as "the good one" in our house.
      We are ready for "the bad one" in the spring.
      (The dogs, however, are totally confused about park time, eating time, waking, etc.)

      • UW8316154

        In my house, the dogs and horses think *I* am the one who is totally confused about what time it is this morning.

    • gullywompr

      Turn your clocks back, but take your country forward.

  • VodkaGoGo

    Lounge pants maybe? I've never heard of boxer jammies either.

  • emmelemm

    I think boxer jammies might be boxers without actual fly opening, so can be worn by boys or girls. (And perhaps a bit more generous than reg. boxers, since they don't have to fit under pants.)

    However, I could be entirely wrong.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Coffe mug is essential! And be sure it's a big one, suitable for serious bourbon coffee drinkers.

  • sudsmckenzie

    OT, I was perusing Red State tonight just to see "Wassup", …. they are actually quoting Gandalf.

    • gullywompr

      They're gonna need him.

  • Low_Budget_Dave

    Didn't you used to have a logo that was a little less Julie-Newmar-inflicting-pain, and a little more gossip-girl-with-slightly-oversized-head?

    It is not that I am tired of women in leather, it is just that I really dig the oversized head logo.

    Also, I never understood why Batman was fooled by Lee Meriwether in that movie, since it was clearly Lisa Carson.

    • Fuck Toad

      Wonkette got a sexxier logo to go with its new sexxier editrix.

  • JackDempsey1

    I don't have enough $ to make a major purchase right now.

    If you go to the site and
    sort by most recent, then
    sort by price, then
    sort alphabetically, the people look like they are dancing.
    It's like going to a free nightclub.

  • C_R_Eature

    Some Humble Suggestions for Wonkettemart:

    W Shirt Captions:

    * "We're in the Library of Congress and You're Not."
    * "Now With Extra Dick Jokes"
    * "Somebody Had Buttsechs and All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt"
    * "47% of Us Are Entitled to Blog"
    * " I survived the 2012 Liveblogs But My Liver Did Not"
    * "We Think Everything Is Funny"
    * "BLOOD LIBEL!!1!"
    * "AOTK"
    * "ALSO TOO"
    * This Comment Deleted By the Administrator
    * KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    **DOKTOR ZOOM MERCHANDISE**

    * "This Blog Irks Fascists"
    * "Sundays with Doktor Zoom"
    * "Doktor Zoom: OMG PONIES!!1!"
    * "Doktor Zoom" Plush Pony

    WONKETTE MERCHANDISE

    * "I [heart] Dick Jokes" Can Cozy
    * Wonkette Logo Vomit Bag (collectable and Useful!)
    * NEEDS MOAR "DON'T TEABAG ME" T-SHIRT
    * Wonkette Leathers. 'Nuff said.
    * Wonkette Tube Socks. 'Nuff said.
    * 2012 Calendar: "The Genitals of Wonkette"

    • UW8316154

      "He's all three!"

      • C_R_Eature

        YES

        • UW8316154

          T

  • James Michael Curley

    Does this come fur lined? Its f*cking cold in NJ.

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      It's not the f*cking cold, it's the f*cking humidity (a gift from Sandy Claus?).

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    That picture and the phrase "totally fucked" make for an incendiary combo.

  • BeefHardcake

    What, no leather?

  • Roger_of_Arabia

    The girl looks like a smart, sassy little slut. I like her so much I want to slip a roophy in her drink.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Yeah, you seem like quite the goddamn prize yourself.

      • emmelemm

        We need the temporary and selective return of the DOWNFIST button.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Not nice.

    • C_R_Eature

      Here, have a nice glass of H2SO4 first.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Instead of roophys, how about trying a smile, a kind word, some wit, or at very least, a bath?

      • Roger_of_Arabia

        I don't have time for that mamby pampy sweet talk bullshit! Roophys it is. Thanks for the patchouli advice. Now go burn some incense and meditate.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          So, you admit that you don't bathe?—

          • Roger_of_Arabia

            Where did any discussion of bathing come into the discussion? Is the girl in the picture your grand-daughter or something? You old twat.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Speaking of old twats, how's yer mom?

        • Negropolis

          And, why don't you go cry into your beer at your local dive when your Magic Underpants Gnome loses the election, okay? Thanks.

          • Roger_of_Arabia

            You make a lot of assumptions and they are all wrong. First, there are no local dives where I live in the Dubai Marina, only five star hotels. Second, your assumption about my political persuasion is way the fuck off base. Someday you might grow up and get to be a big boy too.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Many of my friends own sex toys.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Many of my friends are sex toys.

  • Katydid

    O/T but about My Wonkette.

    So I was listening to NPR the other day, like a good commie libtard, to a story about "Britishisms" invading the US of A. And what do I hear?

    And still others announce the arrival of imported sensibilities. "Snarky," for example. It was pretty much unknown in America before the early 2000s, when it was attached to the tone of snide knowingness that has become the stock patois of sites like Gawker, Wonkette and Deadspin.

    And as long as we're using the elitist term "patois," we may as well include "cant," also too, as My Wonkette's stock-in-trade, donchaknow.

    • viennawoods13

      I heard that too, and my heart swelled with pride, but of course, here in Canuckistan we've been using those Britishisms all my long life. which I guess just goes to show that we are different up here.

      • Roger_of_Arabia

        Did you graduate from grade 13?

    • C_R_Eature

      We Like Germanic words, also:

      Backpfeifengesicht and Arschloch.

      They've come in very handy, lately.

    • chascates

      I heard it as well. And they can shove the lift up the lorry or Bob's your uncle.

      • Roger_of_Arabia

        They can throw it in the boot with the tyres.

    • Roger_of_Arabia

      How about "gobsmacked?" Ain't that a crock a British bullshit? I gotta deal with them everyday pronouncing the letter "H" as "hache." Dubai is very influenced by British.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    How much for the one worn by Rebecca?
    Also, Wonkettes would make a great line of Cuban cigars…

  • BadKitty904

    Biel beat me to coffee-mugs, which I thought of on my morning run. What about bottle-openers, both wine and beer?

  • gullywompr

    Her picture is worth a thousands words.

  • Biff

    Looks like Jimmy has your eyes!

    What?

  • chascates

    Any T-shirts with popular Wonkette memes from the past?

    "Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…"
    "The First Principle of Snark: The “Whatever” Principle. Attack without reason."
    "Real PUMA's hate wonkette and the progressive idiocy they embody."

    Jack Steuf's tacky comment about America's Greatest Child Ever

    • C_R_Eature

      I have been SHIT ON BY PROFESSIONALS!

  • Close_Read

    Long sleeves for next order? Also magnets or stickers? Butt crack stickers.

  • chascates

    "Weep, weep, Wonkette, for your fallen prince Ken Layne" – THAT is a classic!
    I'd also suggest "Think buttsecs instead of ass-fucking" as well as "You know who else . . . ."

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Maybe "There you go again, tongue-punching the fart box!" ?

      (I hadn't seen any throwbacks to Waggaman yet)

      • emmelemm

        I, for one, find "tongue punching the fart box" to be one of the greatest Wonkette moments OF ALL TIME.

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          If I'm not mistaken, Riley also introduced us to "guano faucet." I'm not sure if he coined it or borrowed it though. Guy definitely has a way with words.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          It was indeed.

        • Fuck Toad

          Also, the original title to the "Breitbart gropes Riley" post.

    • Fairtackle

      "If the global collective unconscious may be likened to a vast, roiling ocean, then your average American voter’s mental workings are a fetid kiddie pool with a half-deflated beach ball bobbing around the perimeter."

      Don't remember what that came off of but I keep it near me every day.

  • http://twitter.com/Rainbow_Meow Rainbow_Meow

    Why are we not shipping to the UK for the benefit of exiled patriots like myself?

    • chascates

      If the editrix foots the bill I'll personally deliver to you. And hang around for a few years.

      • http://twitter.com/Rainbow_Meow Rainbow_Meow

        I don't know, man, it is kind of a den of socialist iniquity over here. Are you sure you can handle free healthcare? And railways?

  • ttommyunger

    After re-reading all these comments, I have decided I might forego my time-honored "commando" style for some sweeeeet Wonkette Boxer Shorts. Let me know when you have them available: FYI- I wear 32" waist and need an 8" inseam, if you get my drift…..heh, heh.

    • Roger_of_Arabia

      It's FORGO shithead! "Forego" means "Precede in place or time" but "forgo" means "Omit or decline to take (something pleasant or valuable); go without or refrain from."

      • ttommyunger

        Let me see if I can get this right: fuck you!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

        • Roger_of_Arabia

          God damn. I'll bet that you'd fuck up a wet dream. You forgot to capitalize the "F" in "fuck" numbnuts.

          • ttommyunger

            Thanks. How's this: Fuck You! Get off yet, Roger? ;)Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • Roger_of_Arabia

            I'm so proud of you. You did it. I knew you could.

          • ttommyunger

            I'm familiar with your fetish. Glad I could help. I don't judge.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

          • Roger_of_Arabia

            How ya doin'? I'm good.

          • ttommyunger

            That's wonderful, Roger. Have a great day! ;)

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    OK. I ordered a tote bag. Where can I shop to piss off conservatives?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Pack it full of dildos and bring it to a Romney rally.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    That may not be the term of art, but they are woven novelty boxers for sleepwear, as they are too bulky to be underclothing and too wardrobe-malfunction prone for street wear in most of America.
    http://www.amazon.com/Simpsons-Boxers-Simpson-Sho

  • Beach_Bubba_Tex

    So the IPO is still stalled?

    I'll take two of the shot glasses and an "I'm for Nader" thong.

  • Bezoar

    Just gimme a goddamn coffee cup. Thank you.

  • Bezoar

    P.S.; I bet a Wonkette bong would be a big seller.

  • thefrontpage

    WONKETTE INDUSTRIES
    Internal Memo
    Nov. 5, 2012

    To: Rebecca
    From: Damian Myers-Kruger, Promotiional Items Manager
    Re: New Line of Promotional Items

    Rebecca:

    Hi, it's Damian. We have the new line of Wonkette Promotional Items in at the Wonkette Warehouse. Here is a list of the new items, all stamped with the official Wonkette logo:

    1. Recycled condoms.
    2. "Evolution is for Lovers" T-shirt
    3. I Love Peoria T-shirt
    4. The Power-Drive Vibrator
    5. Wonkette Sex Lube
    6. Edible Panties
    7. The Complete Wonkette Gay Porn Collection
    8. The Complete Wonkette Lesbian Porn Collection
    9. The Complete Wonkette Straight Sex Porn Collection
    10. "C-SPAN: The First 25 Years," VHS Video Collection
    11. "The Complete Works of Donald Trump," DVD, CD, Video and Book
    12. Coffee Mug
    13. Water Bottle
    14. Key Chain
    15. Snack Bag Clip
    16. Mini-flashlight
    17. Note pad
    18. Frisbee
    19. T-shirt
    20. Stress ball.

    –30–

  • thefrontpage

    Who is the quite attractive young woman in the picture modeling the T-shirt with the wine glass? I think I dated her once. Or twice. Or maybe for a month or two. Thanks!

  • red_kira

    Dudes! I just looked at the t-shirt sizes! Outrage! Needz moar fat chicks sizes!

    Seriously – my seriously hawwt tatas need at least a large. Can I get a shout-out for Curvy Commie Girls?

    • Fuck Toad

      *tap tap* Is this thing on? Oh, well…

      Holla!

  • VeraSevera

    Don't know about the retro Cat Woman t-shirt–Batman's been off the air for a couple generations so the reference is lost on me–but the Wonkette wine is a winner! Grapes grown in the Snark-le-ville region of France, with flavors of peach, mango, Old Spice, aromas of 100-year-old wolf pussy, and a smooth silky finish. Ain't nothing finer than that!

  • VeraSevera

    I want mine to say: Your comment must be approved by the site admins before it will appear publicly.