Wonkette T-Shirts Are For Lovers

  we love you you pay our rent

So we finally have our store up? It is at wonkettebazaar.com? It is still “in beta” as the nerds say, but we think it is ready but you can let us know if anything is totally fucked?

You can pay via PayPal, or click “PayPal Advanced” to pay with a credit card without having to have a stupid paypal account. (We know they freak many of you out.)

Coming very soon: So many panties! And maybe coffee cups? We don’t know, tell us what else you want. And no, we don’t know where to find your-logo-here vibrators. Maybe you know someone in the sex toy industry? Haha, we are just kidding, of course you know someone in the sex toy industry!

OK, Wonkers, shop away!

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hola wonkerados.

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408 comments

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I still have mine. It''s too sacred to wear. Sometimes I take it out of the safety deposit box and just gaze at it in awe.

    1. boskolives

      The article said "Coming very soon: So many panties!", but I noticed that it works just as well if you flip the order to: "So many panties! Coming very soon".
      Or is that another cheap Romney trick to make me vote on the wrong day?

      1. AngryBlakGuy

        …"Once expanded, they say "Wonkette, The D. C. Gossip Site, Brought to You by Siemens!"

        You left out the fine print "this pre-conception abortion is brought to you by Barack Obama and Beelzebub!!!"

  1. taylormattd

    This reminds me of the drunk girl at the twink bar the other night who kept demanding we feel her tits.

    1. AngryBlakGuy

      …hmmmmm, I never considered gay bars a good place to pick up women!? I may need to add that to my rotation!!!

      1. Tio_Doidinho

        I have friends who swear by this pickup method. And it seems that every gay bar in NYC is populated with drunk horny girls hanging out with their gay friends.

        Just remember, if a gay fella hits up on you, all they have to know is that you're (politely) not interested. They don't have to know you're straight.

  2. JudasPeckerwood

    So might one dream that this online bodega will someday carry 2XL shirts for those of greater substance? I'm asking for a friend.

    1. tessiee

      Lou: I thought you said XXL was going to be the wake-up call.
      Chief Wiggum [irritably]: That was for pants!

  3. Fred_Wertham_Jr

    While the dark bra under the light T-shirt may satisfy the requirements of Tits Or GTFO, that's not as satisfying as deep cleavage and sideboob. Have you considered selling deep cleavage and sideboob?

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      If I cut the sleeves off of one of those things, I could definitely provide both of those things.
      But seeing how I am a middle aged man, it wouldn't be pretty.

  4. Wadisay

    Crotchless underwear, whopee cushions, trucknutz..yes, it's all here. Please, now that you're a small business owner, don't go all teabagger on us.

  5. cousinitt

    Is that a grrrrr or a hisssssss she's intoning with the whine? Or, a "buy this t-shirt or I kick you in the nutz"?

    1. Negropolis

      He looks like a pony, doesn't he? Pony meat is, indeed, delicious.*

      #notintendedasanactualexperience

    1. BadKitty904

      Ah. The photo distracted me from the fact there is text, too. "This is KBJ and her boyfriend, “D.”"

      Way to go, KBJ! ;0)~

    1. commiegirl99

      My son has a "Rebecca" tattoo, as seen in the Commie Girl Collective men's tees. Does that count?

        1. kittensdontlie

          That's one slave that isn't getting away. I wonder if temporary tattoos would be a good seller?

  6. WordSaladNation

    True story: the Wonkette tote bag was my "Go Bag" during Hurricane Sandy when I had to evacuate my neighborhood. It held:

    - a MacBook Pro and two hard drives (for porn, obvs)
    - an iPad
    - folders full of important documents
    - chargers and cords
    - more important documents

    It is very sturdy, which Rebecca was worried about. Nothing ripped or tore! You should use it as your "Go Bag," too.

    1. commiegirl99

      Oh that pleases me! You should copy this to the "tote bag" review section on the bazaar, wonderful one!

  7. fartknocker

    The wonkette bazzar confirms that liberal women are better looking, have much better snark skills, and they like to drink. If the GOP would embrace these values we would all be in a much happier place.

    For example, if Anita Perry would drink some margaritas and give Rick a blowjob every once in a while, I suspect my Governor would be a tad bit more tolerable. He would still be a goat fucker, but at least he would be a nicer goat fucker.

      1. emmelemm

        I will buy a white one, but would prefer a black one. (Slimming!) So I guess I'll have to buy two.

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      That's just offensive. Everybody knows the correct term for women of the liberal persuasion is slut.

    2. Negropolis

      I'll have you know, Ms. Mafia, that our Wonkette women are not skanks, they are fine and upstanding sluts, thank you very much. **harumph!**

      1. CthuNHu

        Somehow, when I think of fine sluts, the word "upstanding" does not come to mind.

        But hey, whatever floats your boat…

        1. UnholyMoses

          Maybe not "upstanding" but "standing up" isn't out of the question.

          Well, at least to start the night …

        1. Beowoof

          Here in the east it's $3. Still better than some wines that I have paid a lot more for. Although, we have to go to Ohio or Mass from Rochester to get it, it is worth the road trip.

      1. emmelemm

        She would offer that, and cedar cheese, but then she'd have to get freezer shipping packs, and things would just get complicated….

  8. SagansTurtlenck

    The Kitten with a whip tees really need to come in black. I can't wear white because of all the booze I'm constantly spilling on myself.

  9. FakaktaSouth

    Aw man, I'ma have to start wearing panties if y'all do this. At least for a minute or so. I'll be waiting!

          1. ttommyunger

            Atlanta boasts scores of Titty Bars where the girls routinely remove everything but their lipstick. They are open six days a week from noon to ? and most require no cover or minimum, so there is little need to drive through Dogpatch for hours to see jugs if one lives in this corner of the so-called Bible Belt. 'Course, sometimes a feller just likes a little dirt under his fingernails.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  10. CommieDad

    In the Pacific Northwest®, we would like Wonkette branded glass "art" and Wonkette branded "cigarette" rolling papers, please.

    1. UnholyMoses

      I'm sure Tommy Chong could hook ya up.

      Use those fancy connection you've made. Maybe Clint knows him (as he'd have to have been high to make the "Any Which Way … " series of movies).

  11. VodkaGoGo

    Wonkette bath salts for convention/debate/election night! With the Wonkeratti all spazzed out on bath salts while staring at Paul Ryan talking about eating old people for a few hours, what could possibly go wrong? That shit would sell itself.

    1. Serolf_Divad

      I was thinking coffee mugs, too. Which I kinda suspect makes me the most boring person on earth… well, after the rest of the people on this comment thread, anyway.

  12. Mumbletypeg

    Too bad these weren't available in time for me to pass out to trick-or-treaters.
    But the timing is impeccable for upcoming holiday-gift season. Never too early to plan your "stocking stuffers"!

  13. VodkaGoGo

    Panties are great and all but what about the Wonkette boys (that don't wear panties)? I know I would wear a Wonkette banana hammock to my 'night job'.

  14. ElPinche

    It's almost has an American Apparel fap factor…needs more illegals sprinkled in the background.

    However, it's good to see David Weigel exercising his modeling chops.

    1. Serolf_Divad

      American Apparel? Those two ladies have obviously been through puberty, so I'm suspicious American Apparel had anything to do with this.

  15. Mumbletypeg

    "Home Shopping Netwonk "! You should leave this as the last post for the rest of the evening, Editrix. By the time I'm good and drunk I could very well empty my "funtimes" account on these goodies~

    1. commiegirl99

      The Commie Girl Collective tees were made in Los Angeles. The Wonkette tees — well.

      They were made by (presumably) child slaves in Pakistan. :(

      Sorry, we will probs do all American Apparel on the next order — so you get to decide which is more important, a living wage, or freedom from sexual harassment.

          1. HateMachine

            As our wonderful editrix alluded to, that picture is of one Dov Charney, the unbelievably trashy and sexual harassment-y founder and CEO of American Apparel.

      1. Fuck Toad

        Yeah, I'm a guy on the Internet, you know I need extra room for the ol' cheeto bucket.

        No, I'm just kidding, I don't eat cheetos. Burritos.

    1. tessiee

      Butter pecan ice cream topped with pecan halves, dark chocolate with almonds, pizza with extra cheese — all proven to improve small behinds.

    2. bibliotequetress

      Monsieur Bibliotequetress has the same problem. I find that if I sew three or four ruches of Irish lace around them at buttock level, not only does he have the appearance of an ass but it helps keep his pants up. Permanently.

    1. BadKitty904

      I've said it before and I'll say it again – if the Neo-cons can't win this election legally, they'll certainly try to steal it illegally.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Husted is a shameless Rethug dickhead who's now in contempt of court. He deserves to be frog-marched out of his office and put behind bars, until they figure out how to permanently put a stop to his assholery.

  16. PsycWench

    Haha, we are just kidding, of course you know someone in the sex toy industry!

    Does being a customer count?

  17. BaldarTFlagass

    I don't do white T-shirts; I reckon if black or gray are not forthcoming I will have to settle for panties.

  18. Native_of_SL_UT

    If and when wonkettebazaar starts selling men's underwear, please call our old friend Anthony Weiner to model it. I hear he needs work and he has experience.

  19. StarsUponThars

    Oopsies, here's what I got when I tried to enter:

    Limit Exceeded

    The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

  20. commiegirl99

    Goddamn you guys you already made the store exceed its bandwidth. FUCKERS. (Haha, it's supposed to be unlimited. Will be back up soon. PRESUMABLY.)

  21. Mittens Howell, III

    i can't get through, says 'user has exceeded bandwidth'. Youz making fun of my waistline???

      1. Beowoof

        Exhibit A – Mitt Rmoney
        Exhibit B – Egg Rmoney
        Exhibit C – Paul Ryan

        I rest my case that some people are small dildo's.

  22. njstore

    New Jersey Shore report.
    What a difference a couple of days make. I live about 45 min inland from my friends at LBI. Today I made a fuel run for the generators for a few families and also to make hot food. Sandwiches were getting old. I roasted up some chickens and whatnot. Grabbed that Apothic wine that was recommended on Wonkette and we ate and we drank. We toasted Wonkette in general because I couldn't remember who had suggested the wine. And then, with a tip of the hat to our fine WI protesters, we chanted.
    Whose shore is this?
    This is our shore!
    Whose is going to rebuild it?
    We are!

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      [heart grows 3 sizes this day]

      Whose shore? Our shore!

      Tell me what rebuilding looks like!
      This is what rebuilding looks like!

  23. ttommyunger

    Nice start, now just add a shitty scooter to the inventory and you'll be giving Harley Davidson a run for the muneeze.

  24. Beowoof

    Hey finally got through the band width exceeded message, some very hot women there. Very hot indeed.

    1. Beowoof

      Oh yeah as mentioned above some color would be good, Red with yellow lettering for the Commie Girl would send the whole message to red, white and blue teabagger Americans for stupidity.

  25. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Not sure if it's been suggested, but knowing this group we will need Wonkette branded pint glasses, shot glasses, wine glasses, highball glasses…

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Since we, the old, fat, and not young, will never get a t-shirt that fits, I can go for a pint or shot glass.

  26. Designer_Rants

    KBJ sighting! Okay, so what is she doing now? I'm not being a stalker, I just care if she's writing funny stuff somewhere, cuz what a waste if not. Or did she win a huge lottery and just say "fuck it"…

    1. commiegirl99

      She's getting a lot of work from a News Organization that we will not name lest her employment here be called to their attention. She's awesome!

      1. Designer_Rants

        Well THANK YOU for clearing that up! I've only asked about KBJ about once a month now for the last 6 months! I'm starting to think you don't dote on my every single comment… We used to be close.

    1. commiegirl99

      You can have Lilo when she decides to leave my side for more than four seconds at a time, which since she is a shepherd is NOT BLOODLY LIKELY.

        1. commiegirl99

          My mom found a kennel that was full of uncaged happy dogs frolicking in the sunshine. If I'd left her with my son and my dad, I would have come home to a loft full of dogshit and had to murder everyone.

  27. GregComlish

    My two cents: I'm ok with the white t-shirt, but the men's should have a v-neck option. Not the American Apparel "Super Deep D-bag V-neck®" just the regular v-neck. The logo on the men's tee should be larger and more central, similar to the women's tee.

  28. Disassembly

    I am offended that all you people are sexualizing these women. We should be sexualizing their policies.

  29. rickmaci

    Give shirts to charity, send a Commie girl. Either one in pictures looks to be good fit. Overnight delivery preferred. Thanks for your prompt attention to my order.

  30. Dashboard Buddha

    Thus continues the tyranny of thin, young, hipsters. Could you at least sell an iron on logo so I can put it on one of my Hanes Beefy-Ts?

  31. cognachas4paws

    How bout some merchandise for pets? Bandanas would be good, maybe a collar and leash set. T-shirts for them, too, although getting my 125 lb. Husky/Shepard mix into one would not end well…for me.

  32. Negropolis

    Very slightly related, but it looks like Katy Perry was back on the campaign trail for Obama, tonight, in Wisconsin. She didn't have one her ballot dress, but she had on an equally, umm, flattering "Forward" dress. I'm trying not to be pervy, but she looked like she could have popped out of a cake, if you know what I mean. lol

      1. Negropolis

        Here's the pic so that I won't have to GTFO. It looks like they slipped her into a bag of Skittles.

        Mmmm….Skittles….

  33. Blueb4sinrise

    I just had a fantasy………..about Ohio Sec. of State Husted…………
    NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!11

    I mean, he has a "OMG, what have I done!" moment like Alec Guiness at the end of ….Kwai , and blows up the whole GOP .

    [Yes, I've been drinking.]

  34. Negropolis

    OT: Did anyone else see Egg & Mitt tearing up at a campaign rally, today? It was really pitiful. It wasn't the tears of a man and woman who just love American "ithis" much, but the tears of a couple knowing they are going to lose. I almost felt sorry for them.

    1. gullywompr

      Yep, saw that too. It was a fucking concession speech if I ever saw one, except without the actual conceding.

      They know.

        1. IndianaKevin

          A local-to-Colorado Faux station, whose reporter described what may have been hundreds of attendees as "thousands." The story has only one comment: LOL. Fox news. lol.

          1. bobbert

            To be fair to the reporter, that crowd looks like it might be "thousands", as in "about two thousand".

        1. Close_Read

          Wow. They both look on the verge of tears. Also the half-empty venue, slightly sad considering how conservative Colo Springs is.

    2. sudsmckenzie

      yeah I saw that, I guffawed. It was like Mommy and Daddy coming into the living room to tell the kids they still "love you very much" …. but.

      1. Negropolis

        That's exactly what it was like, like a divorce announcemen, like they fought to keep the party together, but couldn't. Ann lost it, and the only thing that kept Mitt from losing it was that he ended his closing remarks quickly.

        In contrast, Obama seems to be practically gloating. I really hope he doesn't regret it. Looking at the numbers for months, now, and seeing the firewalls and such, my head is absolutely convinced we win this thing and bigger than the polls are predicting. My gut tells me that it is also completely possible that the polls are missing just as many base Republicans as they are base Democrats, and that coupled with obvious vote rigging, redistricting, and disenfranchisement could make this uncomorftably close when it shouldn't be and wouldn't be, otherwise.

  35. Negropolis

    Why are most new(ish) replies (and some posts) all reading "active less than 1 minute ago" when they are minutes old? Anyone else noticing this glitch? It's really throwing me off.

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      perhaps we are celebrating the end of daylight savings time early? or something? it's happening to me too.

  36. UnholyMoses

    So who's the virgin boy sportin' the "Commie Girl" shirt and "Rebecca" tatoo on is left arm?

    He looks JUST like a guy I went to college with, if the pic was about 20 years ago ('cause dude HAS to look older now … doesn't he?).

    1. commiegirl99

      You should read captions better. That is my son! (SRSLY not a virgin. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I walked in my front door to find his girlfriend fucking him on my couch? And now I know how I react to that. I close the door, walk back out, and crack the beer I have luckily just purchased. NOBODY WAS HAPPY.)

      1. UnholyMoses

        Read the caption?

        Hell, I barely read the posts around here …

        ADDING: The thought o me walking in on my son when he's of that age is just … should I high five him afterward, or just leave it be?

  37. ElPinche

    Ideas:

    - t-shirt with a skull fucking chainsaw with line through it (anti-SFC)
    - t-shirt or cum rag with IntenseDebate thumbs up
    - cock rings
    - t-shirt , ass-less chaps with -127 p (in red) , with text "WAR BLOGGER"

    if you like, call me.

    1. Tio_Doidinho

      Some very stimulating ideas; however, if Wonkette heads that way they might as well sell sex toys in bulk.

      1. gullywompr

        More interesting is Florida, which is slightly pink, but has dropped from 55% to 54% to 53% in the past few days. Hoping it goes blue by Tues.

  38. mille derps

    Now I am not drunk enough to say that Romney will lose in SC, but I've been wondering how motivated SC Repugs are about voting for Lord High Hairgel… http://www.thestate.com/2012/11/04/2507551/if-rom

    In 2008, Romney got 68,000 votes in the SC GOP Primary (15.3%) & in 2012 he got 168,000 votes (almost 28% of the vote).

    In the 2008 General Election. Obama got 850,000 votes, but still lost to McCain by about 9 points. http://www.thestate.com/2012/11/04/2507451/at-col

    1. DemmeFatale

      Nice try, but this day light savings thing is known as "the good one" in our house.
      We are ready for "the bad one" in the spring.
      (The dogs, however, are totally confused about park time, eating time, waking, etc.)

      1. UW8316154

        In my house, the dogs and horses think *I* am the one who is totally confused about what time it is this morning.

  39. emmelemm

    I think boxer jammies might be boxers without actual fly opening, so can be worn by boys or girls. (And perhaps a bit more generous than reg. boxers, since they don't have to fit under pants.)

    However, I could be entirely wrong.

  40. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Coffe mug is essential! And be sure it's a big one, suitable for serious bourbon coffee drinkers.

  41. sudsmckenzie

    OT, I was perusing Red State tonight just to see "Wassup", …. they are actually quoting Gandalf.

  42. Low_Budget_Dave

    Didn't you used to have a logo that was a little less Julie-Newmar-inflicting-pain, and a little more gossip-girl-with-slightly-oversized-head?

    It is not that I am tired of women in leather, it is just that I really dig the oversized head logo.

    Also, I never understood why Batman was fooled by Lee Meriwether in that movie, since it was clearly Lisa Carson.

  43. JackDempsey1

    I don't have enough $ to make a major purchase right now.

    If you go to the site and
    sort by most recent, then
    sort by price, then
    sort alphabetically, the people look like they are dancing.
    It's like going to a free nightclub.

  44. C_R_Eature

    Some Humble Suggestions for Wonkettemart:

    W Shirt Captions:

    * "We're in the Library of Congress and You're Not."
    * "Now With Extra Dick Jokes"
    * "Somebody Had Buttsechs and All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt"
    * "47% of Us Are Entitled to Blog"
    * " I survived the 2012 Liveblogs But My Liver Did Not"
    * "We Think Everything Is Funny"
    * "BLOOD LIBEL!!1!"
    * "AOTK"
    * "ALSO TOO"
    * This Comment Deleted By the Administrator
    * KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

    **DOKTOR ZOOM MERCHANDISE**

    * "This Blog Irks Fascists"
    * "Sundays with Doktor Zoom"
    * "Doktor Zoom: OMG PONIES!!1!"
    * "Doktor Zoom" Plush Pony

    WONKETTE MERCHANDISE

    * "I [heart] Dick Jokes" Can Cozy
    * Wonkette Logo Vomit Bag (collectable and Useful!)
    * NEEDS MOAR "DON'T TEABAG ME" T-SHIRT
    * Wonkette Leathers. 'Nuff said.
    * Wonkette Tube Socks. 'Nuff said.
    * 2012 Calendar: "The Genitals of Wonkette"

  45. Roger_of_Arabia

    The girl looks like a smart, sassy little slut. I like her so much I want to slip a roophy in her drink.

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      Instead of roophys, how about trying a smile, a kind word, some wit, or at very least, a bath?

      1. Roger_of_Arabia

        I don't have time for that mamby pampy sweet talk bullshit! Roophys it is. Thanks for the patchouli advice. Now go burn some incense and meditate.

          1. Roger_of_Arabia

            Where did any discussion of bathing come into the discussion? Is the girl in the picture your grand-daughter or something? You old twat.

        1. Negropolis

          And, why don't you go cry into your beer at your local dive when your Magic Underpants Gnome loses the election, okay? Thanks.

          1. Roger_of_Arabia

            You make a lot of assumptions and they are all wrong. First, there are no local dives where I live in the Dubai Marina, only five star hotels. Second, your assumption about my political persuasion is way the fuck off base. Someday you might grow up and get to be a big boy too.

  46. Katydid

    O/T but about My Wonkette.

    So I was listening to NPR the other day, like a good commie libtard, to a story about "Britishisms" invading the US of A. And what do I hear?

    And still others announce the arrival of imported sensibilities. "Snarky," for example. It was pretty much unknown in America before the early 2000s, when it was attached to the tone of snide knowingness that has become the stock patois of sites like Gawker, Wonkette and Deadspin.

    And as long as we're using the elitist term "patois," we may as well include "cant," also too, as My Wonkette's stock-in-trade, donchaknow.

    1. viennawoods13

      I heard that too, and my heart swelled with pride, but of course, here in Canuckistan we've been using those Britishisms all my long life. which I guess just goes to show that we are different up here.

    2. Roger_of_Arabia

      How about "gobsmacked?" Ain't that a crock a British bullshit? I gotta deal with them everyday pronouncing the letter "H" as "hache." Dubai is very influenced by British.

  47. BadKitty904

    Biel beat me to coffee-mugs, which I thought of on my morning run. What about bottle-openers, both wine and beer?

  48. chascates

    Any T-shirts with popular Wonkette memes from the past?

    "Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…"
    "The First Principle of Snark: The “Whatever” Principle. Attack without reason."
    "Real PUMA's hate wonkette and the progressive idiocy they embody."

    Jack Steuf's tacky comment about America's Greatest Child Ever

  49. chascates

    "Weep, weep, Wonkette, for your fallen prince Ken Layne" – THAT is a classic!
    I'd also suggest "Think buttsecs instead of ass-fucking" as well as "You know who else . . . ."

      1. emmelemm

        I, for one, find "tongue punching the fart box" to be one of the greatest Wonkette moments OF ALL TIME.

        1. Mumbletypeg

          If I'm not mistaken, Riley also introduced us to "guano faucet." I'm not sure if he coined it or borrowed it though. Guy definitely has a way with words.

    1. Fairtackle

      "If the global collective unconscious may be likened to a vast, roiling ocean, then your average American voter’s mental workings are a fetid kiddie pool with a half-deflated beach ball bobbing around the perimeter."

      Don't remember what that came off of but I keep it near me every day.

  50. ttommyunger

    After re-reading all these comments, I have decided I might forego my time-honored "commando" style for some sweeeeet Wonkette Boxer Shorts. Let me know when you have them available: FYI- I wear 32" waist and need an 8" inseam, if you get my drift…..heh, heh.

    1. Roger_of_Arabia

      It's FORGO shithead! "Forego" means "Precede in place or time" but "forgo" means "Omit or decline to take (something pleasant or valuable); go without or refrain from."

        1. Roger_of_Arabia

          God damn. I'll bet that you'd fuck up a wet dream. You forgot to capitalize the "F" in "fuck" numbnuts.

          1. ttommyunger

            I'm familiar with your fetish. Glad I could help. I don't judge.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  51. Beach_Bubba_Tex

    So the IPO is still stalled?

    I'll take two of the shot glasses and an "I'm for Nader" thong.

  52. thefrontpage

    WONKETTE INDUSTRIES
    Internal Memo
    Nov. 5, 2012

    To: Rebecca
    From: Damian Myers-Kruger, Promotiional Items Manager
    Re: New Line of Promotional Items

    Rebecca:

    Hi, it's Damian. We have the new line of Wonkette Promotional Items in at the Wonkette Warehouse. Here is a list of the new items, all stamped with the official Wonkette logo:

    1. Recycled condoms.
    2. "Evolution is for Lovers" T-shirt
    3. I Love Peoria T-shirt
    4. The Power-Drive Vibrator
    5. Wonkette Sex Lube
    6. Edible Panties
    7. The Complete Wonkette Gay Porn Collection
    8. The Complete Wonkette Lesbian Porn Collection
    9. The Complete Wonkette Straight Sex Porn Collection
    10. "C-SPAN: The First 25 Years," VHS Video Collection
    11. "The Complete Works of Donald Trump," DVD, CD, Video and Book
    12. Coffee Mug
    13. Water Bottle
    14. Key Chain
    15. Snack Bag Clip
    16. Mini-flashlight
    17. Note pad
    18. Frisbee
    19. T-shirt
    20. Stress ball.

    –30–

  53. thefrontpage

    Who is the quite attractive young woman in the picture modeling the T-shirt with the wine glass? I think I dated her once. Or twice. Or maybe for a month or two. Thanks!

  54. red_kira

    Dudes! I just looked at the t-shirt sizes! Outrage! Needz moar fat chicks sizes!

    Seriously – my seriously hawwt tatas need at least a large. Can I get a shout-out for Curvy Commie Girls?

  55. VeraSevera

    Don't know about the retro Cat Woman t-shirt–Batman's been off the air for a couple generations so the reference is lost on me–but the Wonkette wine is a winner! Grapes grown in the Snark-le-ville region of France, with flavors of peach, mango, Old Spice, aromas of 100-year-old wolf pussy, and a smooth silky finish. Ain't nothing finer than that!

  56. VeraSevera

    I want mine to say: Your comment must be approved by the site admins before it will appear publicly.

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