So we finally have our store up? It is at wonkettebazaar.com? It is still “in beta” as the nerds say, but we think it is ready but you can let us know if anything is totally fucked?
You can pay via PayPal, or click “PayPal Advanced” to pay with a credit card without having to have a stupid paypal account. (We know they freak many of you out.)
Coming very soon: So many panties! And maybe coffee cups? We don’t know, tell us what else you want. And no, we don’t know where to find your-logo-here vibrators. Maybe you know someone in the sex toy industry? Haha, we are just kidding, of course you know someone in the sex toy industry!
OK, Wonkers, shop away!
{ 408 comments }
How do the T-shirts look when wet?
I am guessing fairly transparent!
Needz moar research.
PIcs!
Just like Obama's government!
If I could be sure of that, as modeled by Rebecca and Kirsten, I would buy lots of them.
Absolutely fapulous.
Slippery.
Can't decide. Need a closeup.
Neez moar "Don't teabag on me" ware!!!
I still have mine. It''s too sacred to wear. Sometimes I take it out of the safety deposit box and just gaze at it in awe.
You have one? Awwwww, jealous! I had a poster made of the image.
For protestin'. :)
http://wonkette.com/454865/wonkette-pals-make-mil…
"For protestin' " Is there another use for posters? That's wondrous.
you job creator you . . .
The article said "Coming very soon: So many panties!", but I noticed that it works just as well if you flip the order to: "So many panties! Coming very soon".
Or is that another cheap Romney trick to make me vote on the wrong day?
…Wonkette condoms? That way I know I would never get laid!
Out of the package, they say "Wonkette." Once expanded, they say "Wonkette, The D. C. Gossip Site, Brought to You by Siemens!"
The whole point is to keep Siemens at bay, though.
…"Once expanded, they say "Wonkette, The D. C. Gossip Site, Brought to You by Siemens!"
You left out the fine print "this pre-conception abortion is brought to you by Barack Obama and Beelzebub!!!"
Hey!
This reminds me of the drunk girl at the twink bar the other night who kept demanding we feel her tits.
Don't you just hate that?
Do you have a newsletter?
Some str8 girls freak out all over the place when their usual methods for getting attention don't work, so they try harder.
Well! I'm sorry, I'll never say it again!…
…hmmmmm, I never considered gay bars a good place to pick up women!? I may need to add that to my rotation!!!
I have friends who swear by this pickup method. And it seems that every gay bar in NYC is populated with drunk horny girls hanging out with their gay friends.
Just remember, if a gay fella hits up on you, all they have to know is that you're (politely) not interested. They don't have to know you're straight.
So… not taking cans of Hobo Beans?
Or even selling them?
Two tank tops and one t-shirt here. I'm loving it!
So might one dream that this online bodega will someday carry 2XL shirts for those of greater substance? I'm asking for a friend.
…you mean sizing for the average mid westerner!
Hey that's not tr-… [looks out window] ya know ya got a point there…
The average mid westerner will admit only to being calorically challenged, or perhaps the correct weight but two feet too short. Or so I heard.
Many of them have reached "gravitationally challenged" status.
Lou: I thought you said XXL was going to be the wake-up call.
Chief Wiggum [irritably]: That was for pants!
While the dark bra under the light T-shirt may satisfy the requirements of Tits Or GTFO, that's not as satisfying as deep cleavage and sideboob. Have you considered selling deep cleavage and sideboob?
If I cut the sleeves off of one of those things, I could definitely provide both of those things.
But seeing how I am a middle aged man, it wouldn't be pretty.
We'll be the judge of that. And the jury as well.
It works! Good luck with wonkettebizarre.
You, KBJ and company look like you were having a blast modeling these. THANKS FOR THE EYE CANDY REBECCA~
Awaiting teh Offical Wonkette Panty Line®. I volunteer for Quality Inspector.
Gently used?
They got a deal on a bunch of 'em collected after Handsome Joe's debate.
Then they weren't "gently" used at all!
Coming Soon: So Many Panties
Well that's a relief. I was getting tired of cutting up the old tee's to do this from scratch.
Wow, THAT is talent!
Crotchless underwear, whopee cushions, trucknutz..yes, it's all here. Please, now that you're a small business owner, don't go all teabagger on us.
Is that a grrrrr or a hisssssss she's intoning with the whine? Or, a "buy this t-shirt or I kick you in the nutz"?
Buy this t-shirt, or we'll shoot the dog.
Or worse, make it ride in a box on the roof
I'll settle for a Wonkette swimsuit calendar. Doktor Zoom is yummy.
I vote for Limey Lizzie as Ms. November.
And you know this how?
Jesus tweeted me a pic.
Want!
We just got the pics back from the wedding. Damn! I look good in a suit.
He looks like a pony, doesn't he? Pony meat is, indeed, delicious.*
#notintendedasanactualexperience
Panties new or used?
Hint: the site is addressed merchant.Wonkette.jp.
Does the shirt come with the hot guy to kiss us?
Who's the guy w/ the beard? Grr-OWL…
Ah. The photo distracted me from the fact there is text, too. "This is KBJ and her boyfriend, “D.”"
Way to go, KBJ! ;0)~
heh, that guy looks like me.
…fine, fine, fine, the things I do for my fans!
Dude…I think it's a grrl….
No one can be considered a serious Wonkette unless they get a logo tattoo.
Isn't 'serious Wonkette' sort of oxymoronic?
My son has a "Rebecca" tattoo, as seen in the Commie Girl Collective men's tees. Does that count?
Nice. Did he try to fight you when you inked him?
You made me laugh so loudly I scared the dog.
That's one slave that isn't getting away. I wonder if temporary tattoos would be a good seller?
Is that girl wearing a bazaar?
True story: the Wonkette tote bag was my "Go Bag" during Hurricane Sandy when I had to evacuate my neighborhood. It held:
- a MacBook Pro and two hard drives (for porn, obvs)
- an iPad
- folders full of important documents
- chargers and cords
- more important documents
It is very sturdy, which Rebecca was worried about. Nothing ripped or tore! You should use it as your "Go Bag," too.
What more endorsement do you need people? Buy Wonkette Stuff NAO!
Oh that pleases me! You should copy this to the "tote bag" review section on the bazaar, wonderful one!
The wonkette bazzar confirms that liberal women are better looking, have much better snark skills, and they like to drink. If the GOP would embrace these values we would all be in a much happier place.
For example, if Anita Perry would drink some margaritas and give Rick a blowjob every once in a while, I suspect my Governor would be a tad bit more tolerable. He would still be a goat fucker, but at least he would be a nicer goat fucker.
Going to need a bigger Margarita. And more of them. Maybe Rick can kick in a few Roofies just to be sure…
Wonkette editorial staff is HAWT!
(And boyfriend is adorable too.)
Becca, we can haz t-shirts in black? (Slimming)
That's a fine idea, Nut. We will get on that!
I will buy a white one, but would prefer a black one. (Slimming!) So I guess I'll have to buy two.
Yay!
Also, too- when you spill coffee or wine on a black tee, it's not such a laundry crisis…
Yes, but you can actually put bleach on a white shirt!
(Um…I have a lot of experience with this.)
I was thinking the same thing. Yay!
Suggestions: Doocy punching bag, Plan B, and an Obama bobblehead.
And Gay Abortion Giftcards also, too.
Bible shaped charcoal.
Pocket-sized Communist Manifesto.
Saul Alinsky prayer beads.
Muslin pillowcases.
Legitimate rape check wands.
Romney's tax returns, especially the ones that show he got insider info (Felony?) so he could sell his stocks just before the crash.
Hmmm. So, the Commie Tank Top: is that a "husband-beater?"
Nice. Very nice.
Who's the skank?
Your mother.
Hope you do a better job fisting with your spending buck$ than you do with your snark.
Hurry while supplies last!
Only 18 pee points? YOU NEED TO GET LAID, SUCKA.
That's just offensive. Everybody knows the correct term for women of the liberal persuasion is slut.
Women of the liberal persuasion? Shirley you jest. You too, LaVerne.
Now now, look carefully and you can see the aspirin between her knees.
Hey loo-hooser!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
(Deep breath…)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
I'll have you know, Ms. Mafia, that our Wonkette women are not skanks, they are fine and upstanding sluts, thank you very much. **harumph!**
Somehow, when I think of fine sluts, the word "upstanding" does not come to mind.
But hey, whatever floats your boat…
Maybe not "upstanding" but "standing up" isn't out of the question.
Well, at least to start the night …
When I think of Becca and KBJ, "upstanding" is a fine word to use.
Miss Editrix,
Will the Wonkette Bazaar be carrying its own line of alcohol?
Absolut Editrix.
Stay snarky, my friend.
Is there going to be a Wonkette version of three buck chuck?
THREE buck? Over 'round where I'm from, it's TWO bucks, pal!
Here in the east it's $3. Still better than some wines that I have paid a lot more for. Although, we have to go to Ohio or Mass from Rochester to get it, it is worth the road trip.
Sold in plain brown wrappers!
I'm not always snarky…
But when I am, I prefer Wonkette.
This is Wonkette. It's BYOB.
WHERE'S MY HANDOUT?
Are you planning to stock patois?
And cakes we like?
She would offer that, and cedar cheese, but then she'd have to get freezer shipping packs, and things would just get complicated….
Or foie blah?
Or stock replys?
The Kitten with a whip tees really need to come in black. I can't wear white because of all the booze I'm constantly spilling on myself.
Aw man, I'ma have to start wearing panties if y'all do this. At least for a minute or so. I'll be waiting!
Underwear's no funtowear! Never ferget.
High five. I just adore you.
Hmmmm. You know I hail from the “Show Me” State, right? ;)
I'm surprised that's not the city motto of New Orleans. Well, with "inebriation" put on the end.
In the Pacific Northwest®, we would like Wonkette branded glass "art" and Wonkette branded "cigarette" rolling papers, please.
Also, here's a carved wooden box to keep incense or potpourri or tobacco or spices in… it's not for weed.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/989437/
Wonkette branded hemostats would be a hit in the surgical suite, too.
I'm sure Tommy Chong could hook ya up.
Use those fancy connection you've made. Maybe Clint knows him (as he'd have to have been high to make the "Any Which Way … " series of movies).
OT, http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=4493625789…
currently unavailable.
Like most of the Wonkette products we want.
now try http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/c11.0….
I like it! I've set the clock back. Now let's move the country forward!
Wonkette bath salts for convention/debate/election night! With the Wonkeratti all spazzed out on bath salts while staring at Paul Ryan talking about eating old people for a few hours, what could possibly go wrong? That shit would sell itself.
Wha?
No photoshop contents, no wet t-shirt contents. What's next, big sky?
Ma fra un bicchiere di neve e un caffé come si deve quest'inverno passerà. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWamDWlmSmE
needs moar big boy sizes – definitely would buy multiple coffee mugs!
x2 on the coffee mugs.
Yes, coffee mugs. Not "poop filled" though – funny at first, but takes up too much room for coffee.
x2 on the XL or XXL …. I am also muscular.
There are XL on the Wonkette Men's kitten with a whip … unless you are El Lady?
El Manboobs
Big sizes please!
(The "girls" need breathing room.)
I was thinking coffee mugs, too. Which I kinda suspect makes me the most boring person on earth… well, after the rest of the people on this comment thread, anyway.
Yeah, no way I'm squeezing all this man into an XL.
A coffee mug would be good, though.
Too bad these weren't available in time for me to pass out to trick-or-treaters.
But the timing is impeccable for upcoming holiday-gift season. Never too early to plan your "stocking stuffers"!
Sure, like those trick-or-treaters complained about the roofies! I mean, before they passed out…
KBJ is one hot bitch! And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
HOW MUCH ARE DA WIMMINS..THE BLOND ONE AND DELISHIOUSLY BUSOMED ONE ??
Panties are great and all but what about the Wonkette boys (that don't wear panties)? I know I would wear a Wonkette banana hammock to my 'night job'.
True Wonkette boys wouldn't balk at wearing panties.
That's right. In fact, I'm wearing some hand-made ones right now.
I will wear what Kitten With A Whip tells me to wear.
True Wonkette boys wouldn't
balk atwearingpanties.All betterz.
We are doing men's tighty whities and boxer briefs. POSSIBLY boxers.
Oooh, I would def wear wonkette boxers.
Wonkette boxer jammies, please. My Simpsons pairs are getting worn out.
It's almost has an American Apparel fap factor…needs more illegals sprinkled in the background.
However, it's good to see David Weigel exercising his modeling chops.
American Apparel? Those two ladies have obviously been through puberty, so I'm suspicious American Apparel had anything to do with this.
"Home Shopping Netwonk "! You should leave this as the last post for the rest of the evening, Editrix. By the time I'm good and drunk I could very well empty my "funtimes" account on these goodies~
Please don't hate me for asking, but where was this toothsome merchandise made?
I'm guessing they were printed in Kommunist Kalifornia.
The Commie Girl Collective tees were made in Los Angeles. The Wonkette tees — well.
They were made by (presumably) child slaves in Pakistan. :(
Sorry, we will probs do all American Apparel on the next order — so you get to decide which is more important, a living wage, or freedom from sexual harassment.
JERB CREATERS!!1!
(I'm so sorry…)
Don't forget to weigh the crucial "Dov Charney's facial hair" factor.
http://i.imgur.com/UVh0j.jpg
wtf?
As our wonderful editrix alluded to, that picture is of one Dov Charney, the unbelievably trashy and sexual harassment-y founder and CEO of American Apparel.
Worth considering: http://www.nosweatapparel.com/products/wholesalea…
Thanks mille derps!
P.S. +1 on the coffee mugs.
Just FYI- these folks (in the other Carolina) have a good rep. Might be too expen$ive, tho?
Needs moar XL.
Needs moar than one "X".
Also, too, fatter nek holez.
Yeah, I'm a guy on the Internet, you know I need extra room for the ol' cheeto bucket.
No, I'm just kidding, I don't eat cheetos. Burritos.
I find this post very easy to…..
brb……..
As a skinny white guy, I need some Wonkette underwear that will finally give me an ass.
Butter pecan ice cream topped with pecan halves, dark chocolate with almonds, pizza with extra cheese — all proven to improve small behinds.
If your concoction was a menu item, it should be named "Junk In The Trunk".
According to Sir Mix-A-Lot, red beans and rice are called for here.
Monsieur Bibliotequetress has the same problem. I find that if I sew three or four ruches of Irish lace around them at buttock level, not only does he have the appearance of an ass but it helps keep his pants up. Permanently.
O.K., Here's Romney. Now that you got yourself an ass, what will you do with him?
O.T. From o-HI-o.
Same old, same old.
~
I've said it before and I'll say it again – if the Neo-cons can't win this election legally, they'll certainly try to steal it illegally.
Husted is a shameless Rethug dickhead who's now in contempt of court. He deserves to be frog-marched out of his office and put behind bars, until they figure out how to permanently put a stop to his assholery.
Haha, we are just kidding, of course you know someone in the sex toy industry!
Does being a customer count?
How about being Ron Jeremy's stunt double?
Only if we can see you modeling the equipment!
I don't do white T-shirts; I reckon if black or gray are not forthcoming I will have to settle for panties.
Red, with "Wonkette" in white, would look awesome.
If and when wonkettebazaar starts selling men's underwear, please call our old friend Anthony Weiner to model it. I hear he needs work and he has experience.
Would someone please buy me a Wonkette-dildo?
*puppy eyes*
Hmm, gives me an idea for the next drinky-thing…
A Wonkette orgy? I'll run the camera…
MOAR BASEBALL CAPS PLZ!
O/T, but Chris Rock has a message for white voters.
V. good.
I see your Chris Rock, and raise you a Mr. Burns.
Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.
Apache Server at http://www.wonkettebazaar.com Port 80
Popular too….
That is exactly the kind of problem you want to have.
Does your Apache Server own a casino?
Oopsies, here's what I got when I tried to enter:
Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.
Goddamn you guys you already made the store exceed its bandwidth. FUCKERS. (Haha, it's supposed to be unlimited. Will be back up soon. PRESUMABLY.)
can you put that on a bumper sticker?
i can't get through, says 'user has exceeded bandwidth'. Youz making fun of my waistline???
Bandwidth exceeded! All you people are keeping me from shopping!
"Some of my best friends are sex toy manufacturers" – Mitt
Dildos are people, my friend.
Exhibit A – Mitt Rmoney
Exhibit B – Egg Rmoney
Exhibit C – Paul Ryan
I rest my case that some people are small dildo's.
And dildos are politicians, as well.
WARNING. The T-shirts are shipped empty. The pretty wine-drinking girl is not included.
Needz teapots, for the proper brewing of a nice cuppa. No more teabagging!
New Jersey Shore report.
What a difference a couple of days make. I live about 45 min inland from my friends at LBI. Today I made a fuel run for the generators for a few families and also to make hot food. Sandwiches were getting old. I roasted up some chickens and whatnot. Grabbed that Apothic wine that was recommended on Wonkette and we ate and we drank. We toasted Wonkette in general because I couldn't remember who had suggested the wine. And then, with a tip of the hat to our fine WI protesters, we chanted.
Whose shore is this?
This is our shore!
Whose is going to rebuild it?
We are!
[heart grows 3 sizes this day]
Whose shore? Our shore!
Tell me what rebuilding looks like!
This is what rebuilding looks like!
Nice start, now just add a shitty scooter to the inventory and you'll be giving Harley Davidson a run for the muneeze.
How much for the girl?
No, no, no! It's "How much for just the girl?"
"Your daughters, how much for your daughters?"
Hey finally got through the band width exceeded message, some very hot women there. Very hot indeed.
Oh yeah as mentioned above some color would be good, Red with yellow lettering for the Commie Girl would send the whole message to red, white and blue teabagger Americans for stupidity.
I for one welcome our extremely fappable overlords/ladies.
Not sure if it's been suggested, but knowing this group we will need Wonkette branded pint glasses, shot glasses, wine glasses, highball glasses…
Martini glasses for those of us fancy 'ettes.
Yes. Also margarita glasses.
Also logo encrusted roach clip. (are they still called roach clips?)
And syringes! http://sarabenincasa.tumblr.com/image/34376223309
Since we, the old, fat, and not young, will never get a t-shirt that fits, I can go for a pint or shot glass.
Which makes it increasingly unlikely the shirts will fit, too.
We're already pretty far past that event horizon.—
I would like the option of getting a black t or some other color other than white.
KBJ sighting! Okay, so what is she doing now? I'm not being a stalker, I just care if she's writing funny stuff somewhere, cuz what a waste if not. Or did she win a huge lottery and just say "fuck it"…
She's getting a lot of work from a News Organization that we will not name lest her employment here be called to their attention. She's awesome!
Well THANK YOU for clearing that up! I've only asked about KBJ about once a month now for the last 6 months! I'm starting to think you don't dote on my every single comment… We used to be close.
Is the dog branded with Commie Girl, or Wonkette? And how much for him/her?
You can have Lilo when she decides to leave my side for more than four seconds at a time, which since she is a shepherd is NOT BLOODLY LIKELY.
How did she survive your extended drinky tour? Poor doggie. (She looks sweet.)
My mom found a kennel that was full of uncaged happy dogs frolicking in the sunshine. If I'd left her with my son and my dad, I would have come home to a loft full of dogshit and had to murder everyone.
Awww. Bless you for taking good care of the D – O – G.
My chocolate lab is the same. My shitsu feels that way about the chocolate lab.
Does the Lab give a Shitsu?
Wonkette pet items! Catnip mice for Chairman Meow! Etc.
Are they made in China ?Who cares ?I want one.
Any 'Stoner Chick' T-shirts?
My two cents: I'm ok with the white t-shirt, but the men's should have a v-neck option. Not the American Apparel "Super Deep D-bag V-neck®" just the regular v-neck. The logo on the men's tee should be larger and more central, similar to the women's tee.
Just balance the white space is what I'm saying.
Men appear more relaxed in a v-neck tee.
❤
I am offended that all you people are sexualizing these women. We should be sexualizing their policies.
Hey, we're not Republicans.
I would like to see a Feminazi Penis Shrinker added to the store.
Give shirts to charity, send a Commie girl. Either one in pictures looks to be good fit. Overnight delivery preferred. Thanks for your prompt attention to my order.
Three words: Polo shirt.
Henley or GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, that would be nice. But for me it'd have to be in Extra-Extra-Extra-Planetary-Body size.
That looks nothing like her profile photo.
Thus continues the tyranny of thin, young, hipsters. Could you at least sell an iron on logo so I can put it on one of my Hanes Beefy-Ts?
That's a great idea!
Well then…chop chop! I feel a heat emanating from my wallet.—
You have a wallet?! What a snob!
Ha!
I just put my roll of ones in my sock.
Is Beefy the new Husky?
<a href="http://www.hanes.com/clothing/men/big—tall/view-all-big/hanes-beefy-t-adult-short-sleeve-t-shirthttp://www.hanes.com/clothing/men/big—tall/view… />—
To me, they just say "Fatty"
How bout some merchandise for pets? Bandanas would be good, maybe a collar and leash set. T-shirts for them, too, although getting my 125 lb. Husky/Shepard mix into one would not end well…for me.
Very slightly related, but it looks like Katy Perry was back on the campaign trail for Obama, tonight, in Wisconsin. She didn't have one her ballot dress, but she had on an equally, umm, flattering "Forward" dress. I'm trying not to be pervy, but she looked like she could have popped out of a cake, if you know what I mean. lol
She always looks like that. That's why we love her.
Here's the pic so that I won't have to GTFO. It looks like they slipped her into a bag of Skittles.
Mmmm….Skittles….
heh, wonkette replaces all links with links to wonkette I am sorry to say.
No Bazaar is complete without the go-go boys.
Can Fare dance?
Perhaps combining merchandising forces with my old high school? (thanks, Firesign Theater !)
I just had a fantasy………..about Ohio Sec. of State Husted…………
NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!11
I mean, he has a "OMG, what have I done!" moment like Alec Guiness at the end of ….Kwai , and blows up the whole GOP .
[Yes, I've been drinking.]
I had a fantasy about him, too…and it didn't involve sexytime or votes, let's just say.
Hmmmmm, puzzling………whatever could you mean…..?
I trust it had the "blowing up" part, at least.
OT: Did anyone else see Egg & Mitt tearing up at a campaign rally, today? It was really pitiful. It wasn't the tears of a man and woman who just love American "ithis" much, but the tears of a couple knowing they are going to lose. I almost felt sorry for them.
Yep, saw that too. It was a fucking concession speech if I ever saw one, except without the actual conceding.
They know.
They've really improved the personality subroutine in the Mittbot 3.0 upgrade – shown here in beta testing– but, sadly, it won't be ready until after the election.
Don't feel sorry for them. They have people for that.
LINKY PLEASE
I don't even remember what network I was watching.
A local-to-Colorado Faux station, whose reporter described what may have been hundreds of attendees as "thousands." The story has only one comment: LOL. Fox news. lol.
To be fair to the reporter, that crowd looks like it might be "thousands", as in "about two thousand".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9eiXcFgIOQ
Wow. They both look on the verge of tears. Also the half-empty venue, slightly sad considering how conservative Colo Springs is.
yeah I saw that, I guffawed. It was like Mommy and Daddy coming into the living room to tell the kids they still "love you very much" …. but.
That's exactly what it was like, like a divorce announcemen, like they fought to keep the party together, but couldn't. Ann lost it, and the only thing that kept Mitt from losing it was that he ended his closing remarks quickly.
In contrast, Obama seems to be practically gloating. I really hope he doesn't regret it. Looking at the numbers for months, now, and seeing the firewalls and such, my head is absolutely convinced we win this thing and bigger than the polls are predicting. My gut tells me that it is also completely possible that the polls are missing just as many base Republicans as they are base Democrats, and that coupled with obvious vote rigging, redistricting, and disenfranchisement could make this uncomorftably close when it shouldn't be and wouldn't be, otherwise.
Why are most new(ish) replies (and some posts) all reading "active less than 1 minute ago" when they are minutes old? Anyone else noticing this glitch? It's really throwing me off.
less than 1 minute ago
perhaps we are celebrating the end of daylight savings time early? or something? it's happening to me too.
You've gotten yourself stuck in time. I'm afraid I don't know what to tell you… Vote Republican?
It's Bamz' Time Machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End times, obvs.
Anything for doggies?
Or kitties!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbyeekxWNV1rir8…
Obama pra presidente
This is good news for John McCaine! Hhengh.
Commie girl for me!!!!! Can get in white w/ v-neck, too?
So who's the virgin boy sportin' the "Commie Girl" shirt and "Rebecca" tatoo on is left arm?
He looks JUST like a guy I went to college with, if the pic was about 20 years ago ('cause dude HAS to look older now … doesn't he?).
You should read captions better. That is my son! (SRSLY not a virgin. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I walked in my front door to find his girlfriend fucking him on my couch? And now I know how I react to that. I close the door, walk back out, and crack the beer I have luckily just purchased. NOBODY WAS HAPPY.)
Boy, kids these days, huh?
How did he even know how to do that? Surely you were a proper parent and opted him out of sex ed classes…
Wonkette Door Socks.
Read the caption?
Hell, I barely read the posts around here …
ADDING: The thought o me walking in on my son when he's of that age is just … should I high five him afterward, or just leave it be?
I can pay for this stuff with food stamps, right?
FTW , my friend.
I hope my medicare voucher also works.
Health Stamps!
Ideas:
- t-shirt with a skull fucking chainsaw with line through it (anti-SFC)
- t-shirt or cum rag with IntenseDebate thumbs up
- cock rings
- t-shirt , ass-less chaps with -127 p (in red) , with text "WAR BLOGGER"
if you like, call me.
Some very stimulating ideas; however, if Wonkette heads that way they might as well sell sex toys in bulk.
I want a WAR BLOG patch, is what I want. Or a button is okay.
Hold up; wait a minute. If Wonkette T-shirts are for lovers, then what is Virginia for, now?
Vaginal probes.
Civil War Reenactors.
White people, mostly.
According to Nate Silver, it's 71% for Hopey.
FTW.
More interesting is Florida, which is slightly pink, but has dropped from 55% to 54% to 53% in the past few days. Hoping it goes blue by Tues.
That Lady looks dangerous.
That's cool, Kirsten Boyd Johnston is dating Pau Gasol!
Does this mean that KBJ is going to be writing here again, or is that beneath her now that she has been promoted to Wine Model?
Now I am not drunk enough to say that Romney will lose in SC, but I've been wondering how motivated SC Repugs are about voting for Lord High Hairgel… http://www.thestate.com/2012/11/04/2507551/if-rom…
In 2008, Romney got 68,000 votes in the SC GOP Primary (15.3%) & in 2012 he got 168,000 votes (almost 28% of the vote).
In the 2008 General Election. Obama got 850,000 votes, but still lost to McCain by about 9 points. http://www.thestate.com/2012/11/04/2507451/at-col…
REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR CLOCKS FORWARD!
Nice try, Republican GOTV dude. LOL
Republican voters traditionally have their clocks set back 130 years, so an hour or so plus or minus isn't going to matter much.
Ha!
Nice try, but this day light savings thing is known as "the good one" in our house.
We are ready for "the bad one" in the spring.
(The dogs, however, are totally confused about park time, eating time, waking, etc.)
In my house, the dogs and horses think *I* am the one who is totally confused about what time it is this morning.
Turn your clocks back, but take your country forward.
Lounge pants maybe? I've never heard of boxer jammies either.
I think boxer jammies might be boxers without actual fly opening, so can be worn by boys or girls. (And perhaps a bit more generous than reg. boxers, since they don't have to fit under pants.)
However, I could be entirely wrong.
Coffe mug is essential! And be sure it's a big one, suitable for serious
bourboncoffee drinkers.OT, I was perusing Red State tonight just to see "Wassup", …. they are actually quoting Gandalf.
They're gonna need him.
Didn't you used to have a logo that was a little less Julie-Newmar-inflicting-pain, and a little more gossip-girl-with-slightly-oversized-head?
It is not that I am tired of women in leather, it is just that I really dig the oversized head logo.
Also, I never understood why Batman was fooled by Lee Meriwether in that movie, since it was clearly Lisa Carson.
Wonkette got a sexxier logo to go with its new sexxier editrix.
I don't have enough $ to make a major purchase right now.
If you go to the site and
sort by most recent, then
sort by price, then
sort alphabetically, the people look like they are dancing.
It's like going to a free nightclub.
Some Humble Suggestions for Wonkettemart:
W Shirt Captions:
* "We're in the Library of Congress and You're Not."
* "Now With Extra Dick Jokes"
* "Somebody Had Buttsechs and All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt"
* "47% of Us Are Entitled to Blog"
* " I survived the 2012 Liveblogs But My Liver Did Not"
* "We Think Everything Is Funny"
* "BLOOD LIBEL!!1!"
* "AOTK"
* "ALSO TOO"
* This Comment Deleted By the Administrator
* KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
**DOKTOR ZOOM MERCHANDISE**
* "This Blog Irks Fascists"
* "Sundays with Doktor Zoom"
* "Doktor Zoom: OMG PONIES!!1!"
* "Doktor Zoom" Plush Pony
WONKETTE MERCHANDISE
* "I [heart] Dick Jokes" Can Cozy
* Wonkette Logo Vomit Bag (collectable and Useful!)
* NEEDS MOAR "DON'T TEABAG ME" T-SHIRT
* Wonkette Leathers. 'Nuff said.
* Wonkette Tube Socks. 'Nuff said.
* 2012 Calendar: "The Genitals of Wonkette"
"He's all three!"
YES
T
Does this come fur lined? Its f*cking cold in NJ.
It's not the f*cking cold, it's the f*cking humidity (a gift from Sandy Claus?).
That picture and the phrase "totally fucked" make for an incendiary combo.
What, no leather?
The girl looks like a smart, sassy little slut. I like her so much I want to slip a roophy in her drink.
Yeah, you seem like quite the goddamn prize yourself.
We need the temporary and selective return of the DOWNFIST button.
Not nice.
Here, have a nice glass of H2SO4 first.
Instead of roophys, how about trying a smile, a kind word, some wit, or at very least, a bath?
I don't have time for that mamby pampy sweet talk bullshit! Roophys it is. Thanks for the patchouli advice. Now go burn some incense and meditate.
So, you admit that you don't bathe?—
Where did any discussion of bathing come into the discussion? Is the girl in the picture your grand-daughter or something? You old twat.
And, why don't you go cry into your beer at your local dive when your Magic Underpants Gnome loses the election, okay? Thanks.
You make a lot of assumptions and they are all wrong. First, there are no local dives where I live in the Dubai Marina, only five star hotels. Second, your assumption about my political persuasion is way the fuck off base. Someday you might grow up and get to be a big boy too.
Many of my friends own sex toys.
Many of my friends are sex toys.
O/T but about My Wonkette.
So I was listening to NPR the other day, like a good commie libtard, to a story about "Britishisms" invading the US of A. And what do I hear?
And still others announce the arrival of imported sensibilities. "Snarky," for example. It was pretty much unknown in America before the early 2000s, when it was attached to the tone of snide knowingness that has become the stock patois of sites like Gawker, Wonkette and Deadspin.
And as long as we're using the elitist term "patois," we may as well include "cant," also too, as My Wonkette's stock-in-trade, donchaknow.
I heard that too, and my heart swelled with pride, but of course, here in Canuckistan we've been using those Britishisms all my long life. which I guess just goes to show that we are different up here.
Did you graduate from grade 13?
We Like Germanic words, also:
Backpfeifengesicht and Arschloch.
They've come in very handy, lately.
I heard it as well. And they can shove the lift up the lorry or Bob's your uncle.
They can throw it in the boot with the tyres.
How about "gobsmacked?" Ain't that a crock a British bullshit? I gotta deal with them everyday pronouncing the letter "H" as "hache." Dubai is very influenced by British.
How much for the one worn by Rebecca?
Also, Wonkettes would make a great line of Cuban cigars…
Biel beat me to coffee-mugs, which I thought of on my morning run. What about bottle-openers, both wine and beer?
Her picture is worth a thousands words.
Looks like Jimmy has your eyes!
What?
Any T-shirts with popular Wonkette memes from the past?
"Who told you that I go by that name? They are not your friend…"
"The First Principle of Snark: The “Whatever” Principle. Attack without reason."
"Real PUMA's hate wonkette and the progressive idiocy they embody."
Jack Steuf's tacky comment about America's Greatest Child Ever
I have been SHIT ON BY PROFESSIONALS!
Long sleeves for next order? Also magnets or stickers? Butt crack stickers.
"Weep, weep, Wonkette, for your fallen prince Ken Layne" – THAT is a classic!
I'd also suggest "Think buttsecs instead of ass-fucking" as well as "You know who else . . . ."
Maybe "There you go again, tongue-punching the fart box!" ?
(I hadn't seen any throwbacks to Waggaman yet)
I, for one, find "tongue punching the fart box" to be one of the greatest Wonkette moments OF ALL TIME.
If I'm not mistaken, Riley also introduced us to "guano faucet." I'm not sure if he coined it or borrowed it though. Guy definitely has a way with words.
It was indeed.
Also, the original title to the "Breitbart gropes Riley" post.
"If the global collective unconscious may be likened to a vast, roiling ocean, then your average American voter’s mental workings are a fetid kiddie pool with a half-deflated beach ball bobbing around the perimeter."
Don't remember what that came off of but I keep it near me every day.
Why are we not shipping to the UK for the benefit of exiled patriots like myself?
If the editrix foots the bill I'll personally deliver to you. And hang around for a few years.
I don't know, man, it is kind of a den of socialist iniquity over here. Are you sure you can handle free healthcare? And railways?
After re-reading all these comments, I have decided I might forego my time-honored "commando" style for some sweeeeet Wonkette Boxer Shorts. Let me know when you have them available: FYI- I wear 32" waist and need an 8" inseam, if you get my drift…..heh, heh.
It's FORGO shithead! "Forego" means "Precede in place or time" but "forgo" means "Omit or decline to take (something pleasant or valuable); go without or refrain from."
Let me see if I can get this right: fuck you!Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
God damn. I'll bet that you'd fuck up a wet dream. You forgot to capitalize the "F" in "fuck" numbnuts.
Thanks. How's this: Fuck You! Get off yet, Roger? ;)Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
OK. I ordered a tote bag. Where can I shop to piss off conservatives?
Pack it full of dildos and bring it to a Romney rally.
That may not be the term of art, but they are woven novelty boxers for sleepwear, as they are too bulky to be underclothing and too wardrobe-malfunction prone for street wear in most of America.
http://www.amazon.com/Simpsons-Boxers-Simpson-Sho…
So the IPO is still stalled?
I'll take two of the shot glasses and an "I'm for Nader" thong.
Just gimme a goddamn coffee cup. Thank you.
P.S.; I bet a Wonkette bong would be a big seller.
WONKETTE INDUSTRIES
Internal Memo
Nov. 5, 2012
To: Rebecca
From: Damian Myers-Kruger, Promotiional Items Manager
Re: New Line of Promotional Items
Rebecca:
Hi, it's Damian. We have the new line of Wonkette Promotional Items in at the Wonkette Warehouse. Here is a list of the new items, all stamped with the official Wonkette logo:
1. Recycled condoms.
2. "Evolution is for Lovers" T-shirt
3. I Love Peoria T-shirt
4. The Power-Drive Vibrator
5. Wonkette Sex Lube
6. Edible Panties
7. The Complete Wonkette Gay Porn Collection
8. The Complete Wonkette Lesbian Porn Collection
9. The Complete Wonkette Straight Sex Porn Collection
10. "C-SPAN: The First 25 Years," VHS Video Collection
11. "The Complete Works of Donald Trump," DVD, CD, Video and Book
12. Coffee Mug
13. Water Bottle
14. Key Chain
15. Snack Bag Clip
16. Mini-flashlight
17. Note pad
18. Frisbee
19. T-shirt
20. Stress ball.
–30–
Who is the quite attractive young woman in the picture modeling the T-shirt with the wine glass? I think I dated her once. Or twice. Or maybe for a month or two. Thanks!
Dudes! I just looked at the t-shirt sizes! Outrage! Needz moar fat chicks sizes!
Seriously – my seriously hawwt tatas need at least a large. Can I get a shout-out for Curvy Commie Girls?
*tap tap* Is this thing on? Oh, well…
Holla!
Don't know about the retro Cat Woman t-shirt–Batman's been off the air for a couple generations so the reference is lost on me–but the Wonkette wine is a winner! Grapes grown in the Snark-le-ville region of France, with flavors of peach, mango, Old Spice, aromas of 100-year-old wolf pussy, and a smooth silky finish. Ain't nothing finer than that!
I want mine to say: Your comment must be approved by the site admins before it will appear publicly.
I yell "Show me your boobs!" to the cops at Mardi Gras parades. They are surprisingly good natured about it. The male ones, anyway.
Atlanta boasts scores of Titty Bars where the girls routinely remove everything but their lipstick. They are open six days a week from noon to ? and most require no cover or minimum, so there is little need to drive through Dogpatch for hours to see jugs if one lives in this corner of the so-called Bible Belt. 'Course, sometimes a feller just likes a little dirt under his fingernails.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
I put a wad of 20's in my shorts…works every time.
I'm so proud of you. You did it. I knew you could.
I'm familiar with your fetish. Glad I could help. I don't judge.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.
How ya doin'? I'm good.
Speaking of old twats, how's yer mom?
That's wonderful, Roger. Have a great day! ;)
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