TODAY IN IDIOTS  4:30 pm November 2, 2012

Watch Ohioans Explain That Obama Is An Atheist Muslim (And That Buddhists Are Invading The Country)

by Kris E. Benson

Here is a treat for all you Wonketteers: a video from the New Left Media, taken at a rally for Romney in Ohio. What is in store for you if you watch this video? Oh, nothing much, just a bunch of Real Americans claiming with all seriousness that Obama is a Muslim atheist communist who hates America and also went to a radical church for twenty years. OK fine, only one lady actually says that Obama is simultaneously an atheist, a communist, and a Muslim who went to a radical church for twenty years. But whatever, there’s another guy who says that Buddhists—yes, Buddhists—are taking over America, and a nice family who fears that four more years of Obama will lead to the incremental disappearance of religious freedoms. But wait, there’s ever so much more!

There’s Meatloaf! And the lady explaining that people vote for Obama only because they only want handouts! And there’s also the guy who loves the Romney plan but can’t name a single thing it does, and the man who feels a vote for Romney is a vote for getting America back, and the woman who believes that electing Romney will deal an effective blow to the surveillance state and the domestic drone program.

Now, we should warn you that if you watch this video, you might first be amused. Then you might be horrified. How did this HAPPEN, you might wonder. How can so many people sincerely believe such self-contradictory things? Why are these people voting against their interests? HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?

Well, perhaps the capacity to hold so many contradictory beliefs at once reflects the fact that the public school curriculum has become solely oriented around series of standardized tests, robbing a large portion of our citizenry (among other things) of the capacity for critical thinking skills. Or maybe it is because the internet has enabled people to exist in completely different social and political realities wherein they seek out and find only the type of information that will confirm their pre-existing worldviews. Or maybe it’s because local media has essentially collapsed and the mainstream media, interested less in delivering the news than in acting as faithful defenders of the status quo, is unable to effectively help the public to thoroughly vet the Republican nominee.

Who knows. In any case, watching this video makes us feel a bunch of negative emotions best salved by watching this other video of Alan Alda interviewing a parrot.

[New Left Media]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 314 comments }

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:33 pm

The simple explanation is, there's more than one Obama. There's a whole raft of them, maybe from Brazil, and we need to get Gregory Peck on the case!

boskolives November 2, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Are you dog whistle style calling Barry a "boy" (from Brazil or wherever), huh?

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Who? Me? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo….noooooo!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

…yes…

ChrisM2011 November 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

It's like that movie with Will Smith, "I, Obama". They're attacking the city!

BlueStateLibel November 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Sshh, the Brazilians have been pretty quiet here lately, let's not rile them up.

MosesInvests November 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm

kkkkkkkkk.

Magic Sam November 2, 2012 at 5:13 pm

AND THEY'RE ALL GOING TO VOTE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

bikerlaureate November 2, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Obama, Obamb, Obamc …

Chet Kincaid_ November 3, 2012 at 1:01 am

He's like Will Smith in "Six Degrees Of Separation"! He claims he's the son of Sidney Poitier, but he's just a common street hustler!!

HolyCow!! November 3, 2012 at 3:07 am

OMG! He's like the Cylons. There are multiple copies of him and they're all hellbent on enslaving the humanity. Kill one copy and he downloads into a new Obama copy to continue on like nothing ever happened. Gahhh!!!! Some of them don't even know they are copies. The Obamas copies must be stopped before they take away all of our guns and bibles!

:O)

ChillBill November 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm

There won't be enough schadenfreude on Tuesday to make up for having to listen to this embarrassing bunch of butt-hurt losers.

FlownOver November 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

… but it's close.

ingloriousbytch November 2, 2012 at 5:39 pm

As a resident of Ohio, it'll be extra sweet for me.

Yankee_Steve November 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm

We should all call up Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, etc. AND GLOAT!!!

LePiston November 2, 2012 at 10:06 pm

I love your avatar!

Negropolis November 2, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I sure as hell hope the FEMA camps come online after the election…

memzilla November 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Conforms completely to — and thank Mother Jones for — The Ultimate Obama Conspiracy Guide.

AlterNewt November 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Longest, stupidest, most depressingest campaign ever.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I still say this campaign has been "The Onion's" all-time, greatest parody…

LibertyLover November 2, 2012 at 6:10 pm

And unfortunately, the stupid won't stop after the election. As long as Trump has a twitter feed.

CthuNHu November 2, 2012 at 11:41 pm

2004 libel!

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Boy, when MeatLoaf is the voice of reason, your party is in serious trouble

AutomaticPilot November 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Ahem, that's Mr. Loaf to you!

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I always call him Meat, myself

CindynEncinitas November 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm

He should stick to ghost hunting.

GunToting[Redacted] November 2, 2012 at 10:51 pm

This is Bob. Bob has bitch-tits.

Texan_Bulldog November 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Wow! This campaign has really aged Ann. Note to Mitt: This is what Ann would look like if she couldn't afford botox and ever had to worry about a thing in her life.

emmelemm November 2, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Oooh, catty. And totally deserved.

weejee November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

We love it when you talk dirty TB.

Texan_Bulldog November 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Hee hee…is there any other way?

coolhandnuke November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I thought she was Jan Brewer's younger, smarter, sexier doppleganger. But your aging theory is the win.

Schmannnity November 2, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Damn Buddhists! Once they move into a neighborhood with their damn gongs and saffron robes, you can kiss your home equity goodbye.

SmutBoffin November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

And have you seen how they PRAY? By just sitting there quietly! Not out in the street yelling homophobic crap at passersby like regular ol' Christians!

Schmannnity November 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Really, why do Buddhists hate venomous snake breeders?

emmelemm November 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

The smell of incense, man, that shit is vile.

(not really, but sometimes)

mosaickmind November 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

The Dalai Lama conspiracy!

Toomush_Infer November 2, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Ommmmmbammmaaaaa……….

horsedreamer_1 November 2, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Better than my Moroccan neighbors who won't cool it with their damn ululating.

(H/T theONION.)

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:16 am

And they are all running around barefoot and shit. Put some shoes on you goddamned hippies!

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Those people watching Meat Loaf look awful confused. Perhaps they're trying to figure out why he has such a Muslim name.

SmutBoffin November 2, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I will be cowering under the bed until Wednesday, I think. Will one of you let me know when it is safe to come out?

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I might be in a self-induced coma by then so you need to rely on others….

widestanceromance November 2, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I highly recommend a fort made from sofa cushions.

emmelemm November 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Be sure to line the insides with tin foil.

widestanceromance November 2, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Oh, trust, it's lined with 6-inch lead slabs. It's the only way to be sure.

DaveJ November 2, 2012 at 4:38 pm

"We're the laughing stock of the world right now."

Well, THAT is true, good sir.

GeorgiaBurning November 2, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Just wait until Wednesday, it will be open mic at the Chuckle Hut

LibrarianX November 2, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Can anyone else watch stuff like that for more than 10 seconds, or is it just me?

emmelemm November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I never watch videos on Wonkette. EVER. My blood pressure and sanity depend on it.

savethispatient November 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Not just you… The Alan Alda and parrot one was good, but I literally played one second of the other one before I thought better of it.

Callyson November 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Ten? I'm impressed–I made it to eight seconds before I decided that after having seen seven and a half minutes of that FOX News clip, I was done…

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 5:09 pm

I stopped at the fifty thousand dollar guy because there was a joke in there. I'd have to spend the rest of the day watching it, so fuck that.

kyeshinka November 2, 2012 at 5:27 pm

It's hard to watch it, and I'm high right now.

LibrarianX November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

White people sure make it hard being white sometimes.

BenGleck November 3, 2012 at 2:37 pm

It's downright embarassing.

fuflans November 3, 2012 at 10:46 pm

that one lady should be on 'american horror story' and not in the cool jessica lange way.

gullywompr November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Damn, Sarah Palin has a big family…

weejee November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Like to see some stats on how many new jobs the tin foil hat industry is producing.

Come here a minute November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Only a few more days.

mosaickmind November 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Um, like, you know, I mean I don't know what Romney is about, um like, but he's a Christian , you know?

doloras November 2, 2012 at 6:02 pm

The kind of Christian who believes that Jesus and Satan are brothers and that God lives on planet Kolob with his dozen wives, yeah.

LibertyLover November 2, 2012 at 6:13 pm

..and that when Jeebus returns, it will be to Missouri.

BoatOfVelociraptors November 2, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Rated half-true by politifact.

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I believe in God. And God is going to make sure Mr. Romney wins
–purple-faced lady in Ohio

So if Mitt Romney fails to win, does that mean that God supports the (non-Christian) Barack Obama, or does that mean that there is no God?
Purple-faced theologians, please discuss.

weejee November 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Wasn't that Egg? (see Texan_Bulldog's post above)

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Not sure, but the reporter sure was egging her on. (See what I did there?)

redarmyzombie November 2, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Sir,

I would just like for you to know that my cat is hiding under my bed right now after the scream I emitted upon viewing the contents of that link…

MosesInvests November 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Good God-she's got fangs!

mosaickmind November 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

If Obama wins, Purple face isn't loved by GOD enough. ..or she didn't love him enough…?

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I'm leaning toward voter fraud. Or perhaps God Fraud.

Toomush_Infer November 2, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Godenfreude?…

CindynEncinitas November 2, 2012 at 5:13 pm

If Romney loses it will be because God wants to punish teh gheys and the sluts who visit the abortionplex every Monday morning.

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:50 pm

It means Gawd's a Booooooooodist!!!!! Save us, Sweet Baby Jeebus!!!!!!

MosesInvests November 3, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Om mani padme om.

MonkeyHamlet November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I'm glad Abe Vigoda isn't alive to see this.
What?
Really??!!
Fuck.

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm
savethispatient November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

So… Alex the Parrot is allowed to vote, right?

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

He's better qualified than these folks…

savethispatient November 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Spoon!

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

See?

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Nut!

widestanceromance November 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Sadly, Alex is no longer alive, but he can still vote in MN.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:23 am

Too soon! :(

jzgplj November 3, 2012 at 2:22 pm

He died in 2007. So he might be able to vote in Chicago.

FlownOver November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Poll tax: unacceptable
Literacy test: unacceptable
Sanity test: well, we could talk about that one

MissTaken November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Finally, someone is addressing the violent threat of the Buddhists to our national security.

SorosBot November 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

We better be careful; according to some documentaries I saw Buddhist monks are all martial arts experts and some have magic-seeming powers from meditation and summoning their ki.

MissTaken November 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

On the street corner this morning a Buddhist monk with one leg smiled at me. I kicked his ass because he's a threat.

weejee November 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

We must ever be on the alert for Buddhazilla.

SorosBot November 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

And he didn't fry you with a Shoryuken? You were lucky to get out of there alive!

mayor_quimby November 2, 2012 at 9:06 pm

You gotta counter with a hahdookeeen! Either that or front flip over the energy ball and kick him in the back of the head.

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Well, he stood about as much chance of beating you as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest…

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Are you guys sitting in your new apt posting on wonkette on separate computers?
Cuz that shit is too cute.

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

And old men hold young boy's stones in their hands until it is time for them to go!

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:55 pm

What is the sound of one hand stabbing?

Steverino247 November 2, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Fap fap fap!

doloras November 2, 2012 at 6:03 pm

The Tamil Lobby and the Chinese authorities in Tibet have taken over K Street!

horsedreamer_1 November 2, 2012 at 9:26 pm

gingers, you're next!

shelwood46 November 2, 2012 at 9:21 pm

There is a Fantasy book series called The Sword of Truth. The author is a total Randroid. The first few books are okay, but then the whole thing turns into an Objectivist polemic. One of the later books has a group that is very like Buddhists — non-violent, vegetarians, the whole deal — and the author spends the whole book making the point that they are fundamentally EVIL. Including having the "hero" face an unarmed old woman who is arguing for non-violence… and the hero stone cold cuts her in half, vertically, with his sword. His Sword of Truth, which only, by the rules of that world, works if a killing is justified.

I would have thrown the book across the room but I was reading on my Kindle, and I didn't hate it $99 worth. Close, though, very close.

Chet Kincaid_ November 3, 2012 at 12:53 am

If that's where the series ended up, I find it hard to believe there was anything of value in the first few books.

viennawoods13 November 3, 2012 at 10:19 am

That is why I stopped reading fantasy series a long time ago (until Game of Thrones). Most of it was just bullshit, and not even good bullshit.

Schmannnity November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Somewhat on topic, I heard a Romney ad today that "A vote for Obama is a vote for the policies that got us into this mess." Is he reading Obama's ads now?

skmind November 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm

If she undid her bra, maybe the wrinkles on her face will disappear.

cheetojeebus November 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm

oh fuck. I hate you. Having visualized that, life has become not worth living.

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

ugh…….

LibrarianX November 2, 2012 at 6:24 pm

The HORROR…!

AncienReggie November 2, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Dude, that's harsh. But funny, damned funny.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:27 am

Comment of the Year.

iburl November 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Koan: What is the sound of one brain cell firing?

weejee November 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

♪ derp ♪

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

A conservative wouldn't know a koan unless it had ice cream in it.

weejee November 2, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Chris Christie libel.

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Prosecution rests, your honor, with Exhibit A

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I read that as "What is the sound of one brain cell farting?"

A: Republican Party

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Romney/Ryan 2012!!!

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:29 am

**whoosh**

MosesInvests November 3, 2012 at 9:14 pm

USA! USA! USA!

Lucidamente1 November 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Well, that settles it: the universe does have an infinite supply of stupidity.

coolhandnuke November 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Is this GED and Trucknutz Vocational School commencement night at this Ohio high school?

EnnuiThereYet? November 2, 2012 at 4:44 pm

If the Buddhists take over we might achieve Nirvana and where would we be then?

SmutBoffin November 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Nowhere and everywhere, Katie.

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Does that mean we'd all smell like teen spirit?

salt_bagel November 2, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Obama. Buddhists. Nirvana. All Apologies. Apologizing for Murrica.

It all makes sense.

Steverino247 November 2, 2012 at 5:48 pm

In a garage band in Seattle?

horsedreamer_1 November 2, 2012 at 9:27 pm

More likely, dead in Courtney Love's loft, by Courtney Love's hand?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 2, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Kissing Molly's lips?

Fox n Fiends November 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

No Information Voters are the new Low Infomation Voters.

SmutBoffin November 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Since what they actually do know is all lies, I would call them 'negative information voters'.

Yankee_Steve November 2, 2012 at 8:51 pm

high entropy voters?

SoBeach November 2, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Buddhists. Man. Let me tell you, the next Tibetan dude who shows up at my door telling me I'm the reincarnation of the Buddha is getting a punch right in the nose.

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 5:09 pm

OMG! You're giving to another!

You ARE the Buddha!

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Unless he's from the Tibetan Publishers Clearing House, of course.

cousinitt November 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Is our parrots learning?

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

My parrot votes for the Kenyan.

widestanceromance November 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Is that your parrot as your avatar (proud keeper of an African grey myself)? Naturally, the Kenyan gets my Congo's vote because mother country and that.

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Yes! 23 year-old Yellow Nape Amazon. She's been running the household here for 22 of those years. Barry gets her "Latina" vote even though she's not in danger of being deported.

widestanceromance November 2, 2012 at 5:32 pm

She looks really good! Parrots do tend to run the place, don't they? Give her a scritch from me and Marco.

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Awwww… My cockatiel is 23.

cousinitt November 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Aha! You must have a Coracopsis nigra.

Figures. Blahs of feather…

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Well, those Ohio parrots are clearly not…..

oenspiek November 2, 2012 at 4:46 pm

The non sequitur density threatens to collapse the romniverse into a wingularity. Just how false can their vacua be?

cognachas4paws November 2, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Someone wake me when the election is over. I'm going to hide under my bed until then.

MissTaken November 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I *knew* my fear of all things Richard Gere was totally justified.

actor212 November 2, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Nice gerbil you got there.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:33 am

Shame if it was to disappear into an inconvenient location…

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Is that a gerbil in your asshole or are you just pleased to see me…..

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

It would be nice if there was a Bookmobile in the background.

Disassembly November 2, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Too bad it would probably be rear-ended by a Firemobile.

kittenbomb November 2, 2012 at 5:06 pm

More likely a Bat(shit)mobile.

kyeshinka November 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm

And a red-haired chickenfucker at the helm.

Beach_Bubba_Tex November 2, 2012 at 8:38 pm

They'd burn it… I've been there

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people… I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out."

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Smith's invisible hand isn't working very well … it's time to give Darwin's invisible fist a shot.

SorosBot November 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Alzheimer's does explain why someone would consider voting Romney.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

But only because Dwight D. Eisenhower chose not to run.

LibertyLover November 2, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Or propaganda… lots of propaganda.

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I am starting to think that I should stay off the interwebs and away from the TV until this shit is over. Can't take much more of this.

kittenbomb November 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I live in Texas. We've just cold outlawed critical thinking altogether. Cuts out the middle man.

cousinitt November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Like we really need a frontal cortex, ha!

YasserArraFeck November 2, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Absolutely – switch to a 5 gallon hat and save money

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm

The state with the 85 mph speed limit, AND resistance against limits on the Constitutional right to text while driving. What could possibly go wrong?

kyeshinka November 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Who said big gummit don't work?

kittenbomb November 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm

We're too busy line dancin' and shootin' at things to do much of yer book lernin'.

(And thanks for nothing, Rick Perry.)

LibrarianX November 2, 2012 at 6:26 pm

From what I've seen, this is true. Lots of Texas people stray into New Mexico, where I live.

Graham Cracker November 3, 2012 at 12:09 am

We should be putting up a Fence along our border…
…to keep the Texans out!

Chet Kincaid_ November 3, 2012 at 12:55 am

Last time I checked, between the Texans and the Californians, New Mexico was under constant siege. Have they ruined it yet?

ElPinche November 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Romney:
"They're there, we all know."

HempDogbane November 2, 2012 at 4:51 pm

We have a few Kenyan Bhuddo-Fascist Socialists here. I think. At least they look kinda suspicious…

MonkeyMotion November 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Something tells me there was no MENSA booth at that rally.

Disassembly November 2, 2012 at 5:01 pm

They have one but it's of the dunking variety.

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 9:54 pm

DENSA

viennawoods13 November 2, 2012 at 11:34 pm

FTW

Chet Kincaid_ November 3, 2012 at 12:58 am

Real geniuses accomplish real shit, not just working puzzles and congratulating each other about it.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 1:00 am

Something tells me that there is probably more than one NAMBLA booth at that rally.

Schmannnity November 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

It's nice to know as a Floridian that another state full of dumbasses is playing a pivotal role in the selection of the president.

Callyson November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Oh hell no–I'm still traumatized by spending seven and a half minutes watching that FOX News clip.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Start the Valium IV, stat!

CrunchyKnee November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Anytime I feel a bit stupid, or do something dumbassish, I have to remind myself that I was born in Ohio and I come by it honestly through osmosis. Damn you, CrunchyKnee Sr. for going to school in Ohio.

TootsStansbury November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I don't think the founding fathers envisioned their wonderful experiment failing due to overwhelming derpitude.

Beach_Bubba_Tex November 2, 2012 at 8:36 pm

The FF's never (and I mean never) envisioned a democracy… I think I can see their point

docterry6973 November 2, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Each and every one of 'em is a Randian hero, prepared to excel in a world without governmental protection. John Stossel says so.

Dashboard Buddha November 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

"HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?"

They dig multiple wives and covered dish dinners? I guess that could include Mormons for that matter…ooops.

dandalion November 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Why did that video make me sad?… Is it because these people are for real?.. wow..

red_kira November 2, 2012 at 6:13 pm

OH yes! Good point. Yes, it is soooo sad. They just don't get it. They're being rolled. Poor poor saps.

BoroPrimorac November 3, 2012 at 10:54 am

Look on the bright side. By 2032, 90% of the people who attended that rally will no longer be with us.

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

"Do you have 50,000 dollars?"
"No, I don't."
"I don't even have 50 dollars. That's why I'm voting for Romney. He has plans."

ElPinche November 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

LMAO!!! I can't help it. The stupid is too funny.

SmutBoffin November 2, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Mitt has plans all right. Plans to sell us all to China as a protein source, but plans nevertheless.

Steverino247 November 2, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Soylent's moving their factories to China, too?

Dashboard Buddha November 2, 2012 at 4:55 pm

If a teabagger loses his shit and there isn't a live mic nearby, does he still make a sound?

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

If that was a representative sample of the people who attend (and present at) a Mitt Romney rally, I'm not too worried about America. On the other hand, if that was a representative sample of Americans… Yikes!

Not_Mother November 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

@ 4:30…is Bronco a muslin, atheist or a commie? ALL OF THEM, KATIE!!11!

TootsStansbury November 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

In the babble it says the meek shall inherit the earth. This must have been mis-heard or not translated correctly. It should say the meatheads shall inherit the earth. Derp.

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Meatloaf shall inherit the derp.

taylormattd November 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I think I hate you forever for posting this. My god.

Franknflower November 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

My God, is that what real Americans look like? Except 2:35. He's dreamy for at least 5 more years.

Jennyjen798 November 2, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Yuck! You can totally tell he sucks in bed too.

I'll take scrawny, nerdy gingers who can hold a complete thought instead!

BoroPrimorac November 3, 2012 at 10:56 am

You can see the dumb seeping out of his pores.

Dashboard Buddha November 2, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Buddhists are a threat? They'll get my dashboard icon when they pry it out of my cold dead fingers.

salt_bagel November 2, 2012 at 5:01 pm

This is a test of the Stupidity Broadcast System. This is only a test.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

This has been a test of the Stupidity Broadcast System.

Nostrildamus November 2, 2012 at 5:49 pm

This test was more successful than you could possibly imagine.

AddHomonym November 2, 2012 at 9:05 pm

If this had been an actual Stupidity Emergency – wait a minute, IT IS!!!!

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 5:01 pm

a lot of people that are voting for him is so they can continue to get their handouts

Translation: I haven't figured out a way to contact the Ohio Department of Economic Security for those benefits or I would have them too.

BoroPrimorac November 3, 2012 at 10:59 am

Translation: I am on benefits, but I'm white and I deserve them.

Beowoof November 2, 2012 at 5:01 pm

TS:DW – too stupid; didn't watch.

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Hey Mitt! Behold the 53%.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 2, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Romney’s got a plan…
Probably doesn’t include you Ohioans.

La_Cieca November 2, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Granny Whitehead at least has the excuse she is suffering from advanced dementia. As for the rest of these overfed cornholers…

SmutBoffin November 2, 2012 at 5:02 pm

MITT ROMNEY PARKING LOT

"Romney rules, all that democrat shit sucks. And fuck Obama, he's a dick."

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

stop reading my mind

a_pink_poodle November 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm

What's the time stamp for the Buddhist invasion? I don't feel like sifting through 8 minutes of crazy.

AutomaticPilot November 2, 2012 at 5:07 pm

It's at the end – last minute or so.

TavariousChinaSmith November 2, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I would tell you, but then you would owe me seven minutes and forty seconds of my life back.

PuckStopsHere November 2, 2012 at 5:04 pm

He's a Christian? He's a CHRISTIAN? Not in any sense of which I am aware.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 5:05 pm

So, let me get my take-away from this video straight – all the smart people are voting for Obama, then?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Who's the genius who figured out that the moron demographic was big enough to be worth the attention of the GOP? Because they sure as hell have got a lock on it. (And you thought blacks were solid for Obama!)

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Abyssus abyssum invocat…

Beetagger November 2, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Well that was fun. A fucktard rally.

vulpes82 November 2, 2012 at 5:10 pm

The BUDDHISTS! I knew they were up to something, ever since that Keanu Reeves movie!

Diabeetis November 2, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I know many people here don't like to admit it, but much of the sainted, oh-so-noble middle class thinks like this.

MaxUdargo November 2, 2012 at 5:13 pm

So now the Buddhists are a threat. Ok. I think we're done here. That pretty much covers everybody. The crazy boat is full of water, the stern has gone under, and Jack and Rose are in the water. Nothing to do now but rest in our icy grave and wait for the robots to come looking for our jewelry.

emmelemm November 2, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I appreciate your flair for the dramatic.

coolhandnuke November 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm

And yell at an empty deckchair.

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Even adorable hipster boy was unable to contain his incredulity at that one.

BlueStateLibel November 2, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Why wasn't this Buddhist threat brought up in the foreign policy debate?!?

ElPinche November 2, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Joe the Ewok at 3:28.

mormos November 2, 2012 at 5:17 pm

if these people win on tuesday i am moving to another country for the next 3 1/2 years. i will offically give up.

deanbooth November 2, 2012 at 5:18 pm

These people are the canaries in the information mine.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Information is the canary in these people's minds. Information goes there to die.

Tom November 2, 2012 at 5:19 pm

This is the one state that will decide the election? Again?

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I like how some of the audience members look like demon sheep.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm

As accurate a description of the hardcore Repug base as I've heard, to date…

copiki November 2, 2012 at 5:21 pm

That is a strong kid, I don't think I'd be able to interview these people without punching faces.

kyeshinka November 2, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Poor lady is still mad nobody came to her funeral last year.

Nostrildamus November 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Six posts today from Fox News, and this get's labeled "Today in Idiots" ?!?!?

Blueb4sinrise November 2, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I continue to battle the forces of eeevil !!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Jeannie and Jimmy Cheatham's Sweet Baby Blues Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twp-S_jH52c&fe

mavenmaven November 2, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Was that Chris Farley singing at the end?

UW8316154 November 2, 2012 at 5:27 pm

That parrot is smarter than most 2nd graders.

Callyson November 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm

OT alert–Nate's latest tweet:

SELL OBAMA ON INTRADE / MT @politicalwire: Dick Morris, who just days ago predicted landslide for Romney, sees danger signs for Republicans.

USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm

"Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."

~ Will Cuppy

HogeyeGrex November 2, 2012 at 5:31 pm
widestanceromance November 2, 2012 at 5:41 pm

This fellow speaks for all of us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL1foQKD3OI

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Oh my gosh, I have seen that video before. That bird is excellent. Much better viewing than that old Romney hag from Ohio and all her gross buddies.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Is he pining for the fjords?

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Omg, thank you. That made my day.

4TheTurnstiles November 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Yes. Buddhists! We're quiet, mostly, but we're EVERYWHERE…
http://www.dharmaweb.org/index.php/North_America

UW8316154 November 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

The comment got depressed and killed itself after watching that video.

MrsConclusion November 2, 2012 at 5:37 pm

A gold star to that kid for successfully not laughing when that idiot started decrying the Buddhist invasion and subversion of teh U.S. He also did similar deadpan interviews with Sarah Palin fans in 08, with similar results. THANK YOU OHIO!

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Yeah I've seen him before. He's really very good.

UW8316154 November 2, 2012 at 5:44 pm

"He's all three!" is the new "All of them, Katie."

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And a meme is born.

Nostrildamus November 2, 2012 at 5:45 pm

"Buddhists are taking over America…"

OMG, these people are idiots !!!

And at that moment, Gonsu was enlightened.

MosesInvests November 3, 2012 at 9:24 pm

One hand claps for that comment.

Chet Kincaid_ November 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

A massive fucking scavenger hunt for a brain cell.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 6:31 pm

There seems to be an epidemic of single cell anemia in the Republican base.

MosesInvests November 3, 2012 at 9:25 pm

More like acephalia.

bloggingbalkanistan November 2, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I couldn't even watch the video, as with Blanche, I depend on the kindness of strangers, in this case my fellow wonketteers to describe the horror.

Even the remotest .1% possibility that Bamz could lose on tuesday makes me depressed.

GOTV or GTFO
I don't want crazy hair grandma to be happy on Wed. morning? Do you?!

JackObin November 2, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I blame three things for this rampant American stupidity: Doritos, Diet Coke and Fox News.

DustyBowlBlues November 2, 2012 at 10:22 pm

What about cheetos?

notreelyhelping November 2, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I don't what the heck's goin' on with this country, with them Buddhists settin' themselves on fire on every other streetcorner and whatnot. It's a gosh-darned fire hazard is what it is.

StillGoinGreen November 2, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I would like to go through Tweety's Obama checklist:

Are you proud that Obama –
ended the ER visit as an insurance alternative
lowered the unemployment from 10 to 7.8%
ended the war in Iraq
killed the bad guy that planned 9/11
doubled the stock market
ran a clean, scandal free WH for the last 4 years
has a family that makes you smile to see them in the WH
Measures up to the history books

Count me as a check mark for "All of the above!"

red_kira November 2, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Slit. Wrist. Open. Vein. NOW.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I'd prefer you didn't but if you insist, please vote first. Please?

Beach_Bubba_Tex November 2, 2012 at 8:35 pm

effing Buddhists… I TOLD you man!

Yankee_Steve November 2, 2012 at 8:42 pm

WHY AMERICA MAY REALLY BE ON THE DECLINE
Clowns like this guy are being aided & abetted by conservative media:

The Tea Party gets a news site
POLITICO
By DYLAN BYERS |
10/31/12 3:38 PM EDT

Gregg Anderson · Top Commenter · Mankato, Minnesota
Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations" was a classic early MARXIST manifesto. If you don't know that, then you really shouldn't be referencing it, unless you want to be called a Marxist.
Reply · Like · 22 hours ago

doloras November 3, 2012 at 2:18 am

Funny thing is, Adam Smith's economics are closer to those of Karl Marx than they are to modern "marginalist/neoclassical/monetarist" voodoo nonsense.

YerMa November 2, 2012 at 9:08 pm

FREEDOM!!!!1!!1

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 2, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Free Dumb.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 2, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Yarr, not a looker in the bunch.

Also, not a non-white person in the bunch.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm

This Just In: Wonkette Goes Down for Hours, Wonketteers Left Unsatisfied, Teary.

horsedreamer_1 November 2, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Who is Halle Berry in Cloud Atlas?

KateLRAR November 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Alex the Parrot (may he rest in peace) was 10 times smarter than anybody interviewed.

EdFlintstone November 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I never realized Idiocracy was a documentary.

DustyBowlBlues November 2, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Wonkette weekend today is like a Friday news dump where the letter proving Alito has gay lover is semi-hidden. Which is to say, far too much good stuff. Or maybe I haven't made enough wonkette time in my life.

These morons live in the Bubble with my neighbors. All they know about politics are the hate lines Faux Newz and Hate Radio feed them. Oh, and their preacher, some clown with a degree from the Xian "college" up by the highway. How sick are we all of hearing these wingers demand their "country back. " WTF? Where did it go? They don't know. That's just what Big Brother says.

They scare me, even while I find their stupitude oddly fascinating, except I've found that when I ask people here in the Dust Bowl leading questions about politics then smile at them in that odd way you do when you're a kid watching your first video of lemmings going over the cliff, I've discovered they don't seem to take to being studied like a lab rat.

Chet Kincaid_ November 3, 2012 at 1:06 am

They don't punch you in the face because you are a lady.

King_of_I_am November 2, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Oooga-booga. I'm coming to eat your children.

tessiee November 2, 2012 at 10:10 pm

For those who have not already heard about this, tomorrow afternoon, the UAW will bring charges against Mitt for violating the Federal Ethics in Government Law by improperly concealing his multi-million dollar windfall from the auto industry bail-out:
http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/277-75/14

To repeat, UAW is going to bring criminal charges against Mitt for violation of ethics laws. While this is not technically an *October* surprise, I'll take it.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 2, 2012 at 10:13 pm

The fate of the nation lies in the hands of the Ohio voters.

oh for fuck's sake.

DustyBowlBlues November 2, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Are they talking about those Burmese (marsbar, or whatever the generals renamed it) Buddhists who are attacking their neighboring villagers who are , , , Muslins? Since I was listening to NPR before I got up this AM, I might have gone back to sleep and dreamed this.

Or maybe that guy demonstrated epic Islamaphobia fail by forgetting what the terrorists he is afraid of are called. If only nitwit had said Hari Krishnas.

viennawoods13 November 2, 2012 at 11:34 pm

What a very….white….crowd.

Negropolis November 2, 2012 at 11:42 pm

My favorite line:

"He hasn't been 'presidential'."

These are some slippery bastards, aren't they?

Oh, and my next favorite lines after the old, confused banshee got called on her shit:

"He's all three."

LOL!

GeneralLerong November 3, 2012 at 12:49 am

"old, confused banshee"

Thank you for verbalizing what my right brain was screaming silently to express.

Ba-a-a-a-ansheee! Ba-a-a-a-anshe-e-e-e-e-eeee!

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:57 am

Truly, she looks like something straight out of Irish folklore. I wanted to add "dizzy", but didn't get to it before you responded. lol

bobbert November 3, 2012 at 3:36 am

Well, gee, the first one is pretty accurate, for the standardized teabag value of "presidential" == white.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Yep. Exactly why I put it in quotes. It's just barely veiled.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:31 am

Nevermind…

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:56 am

When the zombie apocalypse comes, it will be wearing sweat pants and wrapped in the American flag.

Buckeyes were always nothing but a bunch of nuts, anyway.

simlasa November 3, 2012 at 1:53 am

Damn, these people are SMART… they've got me convinced, I'm gonna vote Romney!

barto November 3, 2012 at 3:27 am

Fucking Buddhists. I hate 'em.

dennis1943 November 3, 2012 at 8:02 am

"Suspicions confirmed" about does it…………

An_Outhouse November 3, 2012 at 8:20 am

USA! USA! USA!

smitallica November 3, 2012 at 10:14 am

"…Romney's a Christian…"

Ma'am, if you knew the FIRST fucking thing about Mormonism, you would know how perfectly untrue that statement is.

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 8:54 pm

The bigger irony of the statement, of course, being that President Obama is a Christian. If Romney can be considered a Christian, than Obama sure as hell better be considered one.

marinmaven November 3, 2012 at 11:35 am

This year, on my birthday, Pat Robertson told his viewers that if they have a neighbor who has a Buddha statue in their yard to destroy it. It was very Talibanesque of him, and THEY think that WE are the dangerous ones?

ttommyunger November 3, 2012 at 11:37 am

Pee-crusted old twat says what? BTW, I hear Dubya is going to stump for Mittens Monday; I guess there really is a bottom to their barrel.

ElPinche November 3, 2012 at 1:28 pm

The best quote of the 2012 Election (at 7:38):

"Buddhists…they're there. We aaall know."

Seriously..I've been laughing non-stop.

usuhname November 3, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I think we could learn a lot more about America by doing spot interviews with parrots (why no vote?)

BenGleck November 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

"HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?"

But more importantly WHY would a Muslo-Atheist goto church?

Oh, yeah, right, because it is intended to deceive you; its all part of Obama's plan.

Oh, that wily, though not that bright, industrious, though lazy, warmonging Buddhist.

jzgplj November 3, 2012 at 6:24 pm

That was some really delicious stupidity.

Whollyholeyholy November 3, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I saw all of these people at a casino in Oklahoma last weekend. I was just passing through, but I'm getting increasingly concerned about their reality encroaching on mine.

rickmaci November 4, 2012 at 2:50 am

With any luck, the collective IQ of our nation will go up at least 25 points on Wednesday morning when all these imbecile tea floggers commit mass suicide.

rjsigmund November 4, 2012 at 9:51 am

yep. my neighbors. every one of them

commandermonkey November 5, 2012 at 12:42 am

Oh Eddie, how far you have fallen. Your Rocky Horror friends must be so sad for you.

valthemus November 5, 2012 at 4:03 am

Folks are voting on same-sex marriage in my state. One of my standard silly laugh lines on that subject had been, "Who's next? Are conservatives gonna start raggin' on Buddhists for not being good and faithful Christians?" I should feel good about being so psychic, but oddly enough I don't.

Smithboy November 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

The lady with the white hair reminds me of Cheri Oteri's Collette Reardon..check it out…..

http://www.break.com/tv-shows/saturday-night-live

Cheburashka64 November 5, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Short Version:
I like Romney. He has electrolytes.

GlowneyHouse November 6, 2012 at 12:58 pm

*fap*

clecinosu November 6, 2012 at 6:15 pm

This could be any town in rural Ohio. Like mine. I hear this B.S. constantly from the morons who live near me, many of them propped up by their farm subsidies.

Reminds me of an old Letterman skit that stated all New York Post headlines must contain words like "Bloody," "Affair" and "Killfest," only the words Teabagger idiots must use in every sentence are "Usurper," "Kenyan," "Socialist" and "Muslim."

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Sure thing! Birds are the BEST. I am headed for Crazy Bird Lady status but luckily my husband is the same way…..

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 8:40 pm

My vet says don't let them get fat and they'll live til 60!

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm

How many have you got?

415buzzard November 2, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Only one, want more. Not sure current bird would be happy with competition.

starfanglednut November 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I've got two. It's wonderful, but one does pick on the other some. Nice to meet a fellow bird lover!

Negropolis November 3, 2012 at 12:24 am

Down, right, A! Down, right, A!

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