today in idiots

Watch Ohioans Explain That Obama Is An Atheist Muslim (And That Buddhists Are Invading The Country)

Here is a treat for all you Wonketteers: a video from the New Left Media, taken at a rally for Romney in Ohio. What is in store for you if you watch this video? Oh, nothing much, just a bunch of Real Americans claiming with all seriousness that Obama is a Muslim atheist communist who hates America and also went to a radical church for twenty years. OK fine, only one lady actually says that Obama is simultaneously an atheist, a communist, and a Muslim who went to a radical church for twenty years. But whatever, there’s another guy who says that Buddhists—yes, Buddhists—are taking over America, and a nice family who fears that four more years of Obama will lead to the incremental disappearance of religious freedoms. But wait, there’s ever so much more!

There’s Meatloaf! And the lady explaining that people vote for Obama only because they only want handouts! And there’s also the guy who loves the Romney plan but can’t name a single thing it does, and the man who feels a vote for Romney is a vote for getting America back, and the woman who believes that electing Romney will deal an effective blow to the surveillance state and the domestic drone program.

Now, we should warn you that if you watch this video, you might first be amused. Then you might be horrified. How did this HAPPEN, you might wonder. How can so many people sincerely believe such self-contradictory things? Why are these people voting against their interests? HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?

Well, perhaps the capacity to hold so many contradictory beliefs at once reflects the fact that the public school curriculum has become solely oriented around series of standardized tests, robbing a large portion of our citizenry (among other things) of the capacity for critical thinking skills. Or maybe it is because the internet has enabled people to exist in completely different social and political realities wherein they seek out and find only the type of information that will confirm their pre-existing worldviews. Or maybe it’s because local media has essentially collapsed and the mainstream media, interested less in delivering the news than in acting as faithful defenders of the status quo, is unable to effectively help the public to thoroughly vet the Republican nominee.

Who knows. In any case, watching this video makes us feel a bunch of negative emotions best salved by watching this other video of Alan Alda interviewing a parrot.

[New Left Media]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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  1. actor212

    The simple explanation is, there's more than one Obama. There's a whole raft of them, maybe from Brazil, and we need to get Gregory Peck on the case!

    1. HolyCow!!

      OMG! He's like the Cylons. There are multiple copies of him and they're all hellbent on enslaving the humanity. Kill one copy and he downloads into a new Obama copy to continue on like nothing ever happened. Gahhh!!!! Some of them don't even know they are copies. The Obamas copies must be stopped before they take away all of our guns and bibles!


    1. LibertyLover

      And unfortunately, the stupid won't stop after the election. As long as Trump has a twitter feed.

  2. Texan_Bulldog

    Wow! This campaign has really aged Ann. Note to Mitt: This is what Ann would look like if she couldn't afford botox and ever had to worry about a thing in her life.

    1. coolhandnuke

      I thought she was Jan Brewer's younger, smarter, sexier doppleganger. But your aging theory is the win.

  3. Schmannnity

    Damn Buddhists! Once they move into a neighborhood with their damn gongs and saffron robes, you can kiss your home equity goodbye.

    1. SmutBoffin

      And have you seen how they PRAY? By just sitting there quietly! Not out in the street yelling homophobic crap at passersby like regular ol' Christians!

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Better than my Moroccan neighbors who won't cool it with their damn ululating.

      (H/T theONION.)

    1. SmutBoffin

      I will be cowering under the bed until Wednesday, I think. Will one of you let me know when it is safe to come out?

    1. savethispatient

      Not just you… The Alan Alda and parrot one was good, but I literally played one second of the other one before I thought better of it.

    2. Callyson

      Ten? I'm impressed–I made it to eight seconds before I decided that after having seen seven and a half minutes of that FOX News clip, I was done…

  4. mosaickmind

    Um, like, you know, I mean I don't know what Romney is about, um like, but he's a Christian , you know?

  5. TavariousChinaSmith

    I believe in God. And God is going to make sure Mr. Romney wins
    –purple-faced lady in Ohio

    So if Mitt Romney fails to win, does that mean that God supports the (non-Christian) Barack Obama, or does that mean that there is no God?
    Purple-faced theologians, please discuss.

      1. redarmyzombie


        I would just like for you to know that my cat is hiding under my bed right now after the scream I emitted upon viewing the contents of that link…

    1. CindynEncinitas

      If Romney loses it will be because God wants to punish teh gheys and the sluts who visit the abortionplex every Monday morning.

    1. SorosBot

      We better be careful; according to some documentaries I saw Buddhist monks are all martial arts experts and some have magic-seeming powers from meditation and summoning their ki.

      1. MissTaken

        On the street corner this morning a Buddhist monk with one leg smiled at me. I kicked his ass because he's a threat.

          1. mayor_quimby

            You gotta counter with a hahdookeeen! Either that or front flip over the energy ball and kick him in the back of the head.

    2. shelwood46

      There is a Fantasy book series called The Sword of Truth. The author is a total Randroid. The first few books are okay, but then the whole thing turns into an Objectivist polemic. One of the later books has a group that is very like Buddhists — non-violent, vegetarians, the whole deal — and the author spends the whole book making the point that they are fundamentally EVIL. Including having the "hero" face an unarmed old woman who is arguing for non-violence… and the hero stone cold cuts her in half, vertically, with his sword. His Sword of Truth, which only, by the rules of that world, works if a killing is justified.

      I would have thrown the book across the room but I was reading on my Kindle, and I didn't hate it $99 worth. Close, though, very close.

        1. viennawoods13

          That is why I stopped reading fantasy series a long time ago (until Game of Thrones). Most of it was just bullshit, and not even good bullshit.

  6. Schmannnity

    Somewhat on topic, I heard a Romney ad today that "A vote for Obama is a vote for the policies that got us into this mess." Is he reading Obama's ads now?

  7. SoBeach

    Buddhists. Man. Let me tell you, the next Tibetan dude who shows up at my door telling me I'm the reincarnation of the Buddha is getting a punch right in the nose.

      1. widestanceromance

        Is that your parrot as your avatar (proud keeper of an African grey myself)? Naturally, the Kenyan gets my Congo's vote because mother country and that.

        1. 415buzzard

          Yes! 23 year-old Yellow Nape Amazon. She's been running the household here for 22 of those years. Barry gets her "Latina" vote even though she's not in danger of being deported.

          1. widestanceromance

            She looks really good! Parrots do tend to run the place, don't they? Give her a scritch from me and Marco.

          2. 415buzzard

            Sure thing! Birds are the BEST. I am headed for Crazy Bird Lady status but luckily my husband is the same way…..

  8. oenspiek

    The non sequitur density threatens to collapse the romniverse into a wingularity. Just how false can their vacua be?

  9. BadKitty904

    "I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people… I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out."

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Smith's invisible hand isn't working very well … it's time to give Darwin's invisible fist a shot.

  10. 415buzzard

    I am starting to think that I should stay off the interwebs and away from the TV until this shit is over. Can't take much more of this.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The state with the 85 mph speed limit, AND resistance against limits on the Constitutional right to text while driving. What could possibly go wrong?

  11. HempDogbane

    We have a few Kenyan Bhuddo-Fascist Socialists here. I think. At least they look kinda suspicious…

  12. Schmannnity

    It's nice to know as a Floridian that another state full of dumbasses is playing a pivotal role in the selection of the president.

  13. Callyson

    Oh hell no–I'm still traumatized by spending seven and a half minutes watching that FOX News clip.

  14. CrunchyKnee

    Anytime I feel a bit stupid, or do something dumbassish, I have to remind myself that I was born in Ohio and I come by it honestly through osmosis. Damn you, CrunchyKnee Sr. for going to school in Ohio.

  15. TootsStansbury

    I don't think the founding fathers envisioned their wonderful experiment failing due to overwhelming derpitude.

  16. docterry6973

    Each and every one of 'em is a Randian hero, prepared to excel in a world without governmental protection. John Stossel says so.

  17. Dashboard Buddha


    They dig multiple wives and covered dish dinners? I guess that could include Mormons for that matter…ooops.

    1. red_kira

      OH yes! Good point. Yes, it is soooo sad. They just don't get it. They're being rolled. Poor poor saps.

    2. BoroPrimorac

      Look on the bright side. By 2032, 90% of the people who attended that rally will no longer be with us.

    1. SmutBoffin

      Mitt has plans all right. Plans to sell us all to China as a protein source, but plans nevertheless.

  18. Dashboard Buddha

    If a teabagger loses his shit and there isn't a live mic nearby, does he still make a sound?

  19. TavariousChinaSmith

    If that was a representative sample of the people who attend (and present at) a Mitt Romney rally, I'm not too worried about America. On the other hand, if that was a representative sample of Americans… Yikes!

  20. TootsStansbury

    In the babble it says the meek shall inherit the earth. This must have been mis-heard or not translated correctly. It should say the meatheads shall inherit the earth. Derp.

  21. Franknflower

    My God, is that what real Americans look like? Except 2:35. He's dreamy for at least 5 more years.

  22. Dashboard Buddha

    Buddhists are a threat? They'll get my dashboard icon when they pry it out of my cold dead fingers.

  23. salt_bagel

    This is a test of the Stupidity Broadcast System. This is only a test.


    This has been a test of the Stupidity Broadcast System.

  24. smokefilledroommate

    a lot of people that are voting for him is so they can continue to get their handouts

    Translation: I haven't figured out a way to contact the Ohio Department of Economic Security for those benefits or I would have them too.

  25. SmutBoffin


    "Romney rules, all that democrat shit sucks. And fuck Obama, he's a dick."

  26. a_pink_poodle

    What's the time stamp for the Buddhist invasion? I don't feel like sifting through 8 minutes of crazy.

    1. TavariousChinaSmith

      I would tell you, but then you would owe me seven minutes and forty seconds of my life back.

  27. BadKitty904

    So, let me get my take-away from this video straight – all the smart people are voting for Obama, then?

  28. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Who's the genius who figured out that the moron demographic was big enough to be worth the attention of the GOP? Because they sure as hell have got a lock on it. (And you thought blacks were solid for Obama!)

  29. Diabeetis

    I know many people here don't like to admit it, but much of the sainted, oh-so-noble middle class thinks like this.

  30. MaxUdargo

    So now the Buddhists are a threat. Ok. I think we're done here. That pretty much covers everybody. The crazy boat is full of water, the stern has gone under, and Jack and Rose are in the water. Nothing to do now but rest in our icy grave and wait for the robots to come looking for our jewelry.

  31. mormos

    if these people win on tuesday i am moving to another country for the next 3 1/2 years. i will offically give up.

  32. Callyson

    OT alert–Nate's latest tweet:

    SELL OBAMA ON INTRADE / MT @politicalwire: Dick Morris, who just days ago predicted landslide for Romney, sees danger signs for Republicans.

    USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

  33. BadKitty904

    "Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."

    ~ Will Cuppy

    1. 415buzzard

      Oh my gosh, I have seen that video before. That bird is excellent. Much better viewing than that old Romney hag from Ohio and all her gross buddies.

  34. MrsConclusion

    A gold star to that kid for successfully not laughing when that idiot started decrying the Buddhist invasion and subversion of teh U.S. He also did similar deadpan interviews with Sarah Palin fans in 08, with similar results. THANK YOU OHIO!

  35. Nostrildamus

    "Buddhists are taking over America…"

    OMG, these people are idiots !!!

    And at that moment, Gonsu was enlightened.

  36. bloggingbalkanistan

    I couldn't even watch the video, as with Blanche, I depend on the kindness of strangers, in this case my fellow wonketteers to describe the horror.

    Even the remotest .1% possibility that Bamz could lose on tuesday makes me depressed.

    GOTV or GTFO
    I don't want crazy hair grandma to be happy on Wed. morning? Do you?!

  37. notreelyhelping

    I don't what the heck's goin' on with this country, with them Buddhists settin' themselves on fire on every other streetcorner and whatnot. It's a gosh-darned fire hazard is what it is.

  38. StillGoinGreen

    I would like to go through Tweety's Obama checklist:

    Are you proud that Obama –
    ended the ER visit as an insurance alternative
    lowered the unemployment from 10 to 7.8%
    ended the war in Iraq
    killed the bad guy that planned 9/11
    doubled the stock market
    ran a clean, scandal free WH for the last 4 years
    has a family that makes you smile to see them in the WH
    Measures up to the history books

    Count me as a check mark for "All of the above!"

  39. Yankee_Steve

    Clowns like this guy are being aided & abetted by conservative media:

    The Tea Party gets a news site
    10/31/12 3:38 PM EDT

    Gregg Anderson · Top Commenter · Mankato, Minnesota
    Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations" was a classic early MARXIST manifesto. If you don't know that, then you really shouldn't be referencing it, unless you want to be called a Marxist.
    Reply · Like · 22 hours ago

    1. doloras

      Funny thing is, Adam Smith's economics are closer to those of Karl Marx than they are to modern "marginalist/neoclassical/monetarist" voodoo nonsense.

  40. DustyBowlBlues

    Wonkette weekend today is like a Friday news dump where the letter proving Alito has gay lover is semi-hidden. Which is to say, far too much good stuff. Or maybe I haven't made enough wonkette time in my life.

    These morons live in the Bubble with my neighbors. All they know about politics are the hate lines Faux Newz and Hate Radio feed them. Oh, and their preacher, some clown with a degree from the Xian "college" up by the highway. How sick are we all of hearing these wingers demand their "country back. " WTF? Where did it go? They don't know. That's just what Big Brother says.

    They scare me, even while I find their stupitude oddly fascinating, except I've found that when I ask people here in the Dust Bowl leading questions about politics then smile at them in that odd way you do when you're a kid watching your first video of lemmings going over the cliff, I've discovered they don't seem to take to being studied like a lab rat.

  41. tessiee

    For those who have not already heard about this, tomorrow afternoon, the UAW will bring charges against Mitt for violating the Federal Ethics in Government Law by improperly concealing his multi-million dollar windfall from the auto industry bail-out:

    To repeat, UAW is going to bring criminal charges against Mitt for violation of ethics laws. While this is not technically an *October* surprise, I'll take it.

  42. DustyBowlBlues

    Are they talking about those Burmese (marsbar, or whatever the generals renamed it) Buddhists who are attacking their neighboring villagers who are , , , Muslins? Since I was listening to NPR before I got up this AM, I might have gone back to sleep and dreamed this.

    Or maybe that guy demonstrated epic Islamaphobia fail by forgetting what the terrorists he is afraid of are called. If only nitwit had said Hari Krishnas.

  43. Negropolis

    My favorite line:

    "He hasn't been 'presidential'."

    These are some slippery bastards, aren't they?

    Oh, and my next favorite lines after the old, confused banshee got called on her shit:

    "He's all three."


    1. GeneralLerong

      "old, confused banshee"

      Thank you for verbalizing what my right brain was screaming silently to express.

      Ba-a-a-a-ansheee! Ba-a-a-a-anshe-e-e-e-e-eeee!

      1. Negropolis

        Truly, she looks like something straight out of Irish folklore. I wanted to add "dizzy", but didn't get to it before you responded. lol

    2. bobbert

      Well, gee, the first one is pretty accurate, for the standardized teabag value of "presidential" == white.

  44. Negropolis

    When the zombie apocalypse comes, it will be wearing sweat pants and wrapped in the American flag.

    Buckeyes were always nothing but a bunch of nuts, anyway.

  45. smitallica

    "…Romney's a Christian…"

    Ma'am, if you knew the FIRST fucking thing about Mormonism, you would know how perfectly untrue that statement is.

    1. Negropolis

      The bigger irony of the statement, of course, being that President Obama is a Christian. If Romney can be considered a Christian, than Obama sure as hell better be considered one.

  46. marinmaven

    This year, on my birthday, Pat Robertson told his viewers that if they have a neighbor who has a Buddha statue in their yard to destroy it. It was very Talibanesque of him, and THEY think that WE are the dangerous ones?

  47. ttommyunger

    Pee-crusted old twat says what? BTW, I hear Dubya is going to stump for Mittens Monday; I guess there really is a bottom to their barrel.

  48. ElPinche

    The best quote of the 2012 Election (at 7:38):

    "Buddhists…they're there. We aaall know."

    Seriously..I've been laughing non-stop.

  49. usuhname

    I think we could learn a lot more about America by doing spot interviews with parrots (why no vote?)

  50. BenGleck


    But more importantly WHY would a Muslo-Atheist goto church?

    Oh, yeah, right, because it is intended to deceive you; its all part of Obama's plan.

    Oh, that wily, though not that bright, industrious, though lazy, warmonging Buddhist.

  51. Whollyholeyholy

    I saw all of these people at a casino in Oklahoma last weekend. I was just passing through, but I'm getting increasingly concerned about their reality encroaching on mine.

  52. rickmaci

    With any luck, the collective IQ of our nation will go up at least 25 points on Wednesday morning when all these imbecile tea floggers commit mass suicide.

  53. valthemus

    Folks are voting on same-sex marriage in my state. One of my standard silly laugh lines on that subject had been, "Who's next? Are conservatives gonna start raggin' on Buddhists for not being good and faithful Christians?" I should feel good about being so psychic, but oddly enough I don't.

  54. clecinosu

    This could be any town in rural Ohio. Like mine. I hear this B.S. constantly from the morons who live near me, many of them propped up by their farm subsidies.

    Reminds me of an old Letterman skit that stated all New York Post headlines must contain words like "Bloody," "Affair" and "Killfest," only the words Teabagger idiots must use in every sentence are "Usurper," "Kenyan," "Socialist" and "Muslim."

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