today in idiots

Watch Ohioans Explain That Obama Is An Atheist Muslim (And That Buddhists Are Invading The Country)

Here is a treat for all you Wonketteers: a video from the New Left Media, taken at a rally for Romney in Ohio. What is in store for you if you watch this video? Oh, nothing much, just a bunch of Real Americans claiming with all seriousness that Obama is a Muslim atheist communist who hates America and also went to a radical church for twenty years. OK fine, only one lady actually says that Obama is simultaneously an atheist, a communist, and a Muslim who went to a radical church for twenty years. But whatever, there’s another guy who says that Buddhists—yes, Buddhists—are taking over America, and a nice family who fears that four more years of Obama will lead to the incremental disappearance of religious freedoms. But wait, there’s ever so much more!

There’s Meatloaf! And the lady explaining that people vote for Obama only because they only want handouts! And there’s also the guy who loves the Romney plan but can’t name a single thing it does, and the man who feels a vote for Romney is a vote for getting America back, and the woman who believes that electing Romney will deal an effective blow to the surveillance state and the domestic drone program.

Now, we should warn you that if you watch this video, you might first be amused. Then you might be horrified. How did this HAPPEN, you might wonder. How can so many people sincerely believe such self-contradictory things? Why are these people voting against their interests? HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?

Well, perhaps the capacity to hold so many contradictory beliefs at once reflects the fact that the public school curriculum has become solely oriented around series of standardized tests, robbing a large portion of our citizenry (among other things) of the capacity for critical thinking skills. Or maybe it is because the internet has enabled people to exist in completely different social and political realities wherein they seek out and find only the type of information that will confirm their pre-existing worldviews. Or maybe it’s because local media has essentially collapsed and the mainstream media, interested less in delivering the news than in acting as faithful defenders of the status quo, is unable to effectively help the public to thoroughly vet the Republican nominee.

Who knows. In any case, watching this video makes us feel a bunch of negative emotions best salved by watching this other video of Alan Alda interviewing a parrot.

[New Left Media]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

Comments

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  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    The simple explanation is, there's more than one Obama. There's a whole raft of them, maybe from Brazil, and we need to get Gregory Peck on the case!

    • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

      Are you dog whistle style calling Barry a "boy" (from Brazil or wherever), huh?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Who? Me? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo….noooooo!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

        …yes…

    • ChrisM2011

      It's like that movie with Will Smith, "I, Obama". They're attacking the city!

    • BlueStateLibel

      Sshh, the Brazilians have been pretty quiet here lately, let's not rile them up.

      • MosesInvests

        kkkkkkkkk.

    • http://www.dailydickpunch.com Magic Sam

      AND THEY'RE ALL GOING TO VOTE!

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    • bikerlaureate

      Obama, Obamb, Obamc …

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      He's like Will Smith in "Six Degrees Of Separation"! He claims he's the son of Sidney Poitier, but he's just a common street hustler!!

    • HolyCow!!

      OMG! He's like the Cylons. There are multiple copies of him and they're all hellbent on enslaving the humanity. Kill one copy and he downloads into a new Obama copy to continue on like nothing ever happened. Gahhh!!!! Some of them don't even know they are copies. The Obamas copies must be stopped before they take away all of our guns and bibles!

      :O)

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    There won't be enough schadenfreude on Tuesday to make up for having to listen to this embarrassing bunch of butt-hurt losers.

    • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

      … but it's close.

    • ingloriousbytch

      As a resident of Ohio, it'll be extra sweet for me.

    • Yankee_Steve

      We should all call up Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, etc. AND GLOAT!!!

      • LePiston

        I love your avatar!

    • Negropolis

      I sure as hell hope the FEMA camps come online after the election…

  • memzilla

    Conforms completely to — and thank Mother Jones for — The Ultimate Obama Conspiracy Guide.

  • AlterNewt

    Longest, stupidest, most depressingest campaign ever.

    • BadKitty904

      I still say this campaign has been "The Onion's" all-time, greatest parody…

    • LibertyLover

      And unfortunately, the stupid won't stop after the election. As long as Trump has a twitter feed.

    • CthuNHu

      2004 libel!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Boy, when MeatLoaf is the voice of reason, your party is in serious trouble

    • AutomaticPilot

      Ahem, that's Mr. Loaf to you!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I always call him Meat, myself

    • CindynEncinitas

      He should stick to ghost hunting.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      This is Bob. Bob has bitch-tits.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Wow! This campaign has really aged Ann. Note to Mitt: This is what Ann would look like if she couldn't afford botox and ever had to worry about a thing in her life.

    • emmelemm

      Oooh, catty. And totally deserved.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      We love it when you talk dirty TB.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Hee hee…is there any other way?

    • coolhandnuke

      I thought she was Jan Brewer's younger, smarter, sexier doppleganger. But your aging theory is the win.

  • Schmannnity

    Damn Buddhists! Once they move into a neighborhood with their damn gongs and saffron robes, you can kiss your home equity goodbye.

    • SmutBoffin

      And have you seen how they PRAY? By just sitting there quietly! Not out in the street yelling homophobic crap at passersby like regular ol' Christians!

      • Schmannnity

        Really, why do Buddhists hate venomous snake breeders?

    • emmelemm

      The smell of incense, man, that shit is vile.

      (not really, but sometimes)

    • mosaickmind

      The Dalai Lama conspiracy!

    • Toomush_Infer

      Ommmmmbammmaaaaa……….

    • horsedreamer_1

      Better than my Moroccan neighbors who won't cool it with their damn ululating.

      (H/T theONION.)

    • Negropolis

      And they are all running around barefoot and shit. Put some shoes on you goddamned hippies!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Those people watching Meat Loaf look awful confused. Perhaps they're trying to figure out why he has such a Muslim name.

    • SmutBoffin

      I will be cowering under the bed until Wednesday, I think. Will one of you let me know when it is safe to come out?

      • 415buzzard

        I might be in a self-induced coma by then so you need to rely on others….

      • widestanceromance

        I highly recommend a fort made from sofa cushions.

        • emmelemm

          Be sure to line the insides with tin foil.

          • widestanceromance

            Oh, trust, it's lined with 6-inch lead slabs. It's the only way to be sure.

  • DaveJ

    "We're the laughing stock of the world right now."

    Well, THAT is true, good sir.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Just wait until Wednesday, it will be open mic at the Chuckle Hut

  • LibrarianX

    Can anyone else watch stuff like that for more than 10 seconds, or is it just me?

    • emmelemm

      I never watch videos on Wonkette. EVER. My blood pressure and sanity depend on it.

    • savethispatient

      Not just you… The Alan Alda and parrot one was good, but I literally played one second of the other one before I thought better of it.

    • Callyson

      Ten? I'm impressed–I made it to eight seconds before I decided that after having seen seven and a half minutes of that FOX News clip, I was done…

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I stopped at the fifty thousand dollar guy because there was a joke in there. I'd have to spend the rest of the day watching it, so fuck that.

    • kyeshinka

      It's hard to watch it, and I'm high right now.

  • LibrarianX

    White people sure make it hard being white sometimes.

    • BenGleck

      It's downright embarassing.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      that one lady should be on 'american horror story' and not in the cool jessica lange way.

  • gullywompr

    Damn, Sarah Palin has a big family…

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Like to see some stats on how many new jobs the tin foil hat industry is producing.

  • Come here a minute

    Only a few more days.

  • mosaickmind

    Um, like, you know, I mean I don't know what Romney is about, um like, but he's a Christian , you know?

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      The kind of Christian who believes that Jesus and Satan are brothers and that God lives on planet Kolob with his dozen wives, yeah.

      • LibertyLover

        ..and that when Jeebus returns, it will be to Missouri.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Rated half-true by politifact.

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    I believe in God. And God is going to make sure Mr. Romney wins
    –purple-faced lady in Ohio

    So if Mitt Romney fails to win, does that mean that God supports the (non-Christian) Barack Obama, or does that mean that there is no God?
    Purple-faced theologians, please discuss.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Wasn't that Egg? (see Texan_Bulldog's post above)

      • TavariousChinaSmith

        Not sure, but the reporter sure was egging her on. (See what I did there?)

      • redarmyzombie

        Sir,

        I would just like for you to know that my cat is hiding under my bed right now after the scream I emitted upon viewing the contents of that link…

      • MosesInvests

        Good God-she's got fangs!

    • mosaickmind

      If Obama wins, Purple face isn't loved by GOD enough. ..or she didn't love him enough…?

      • TavariousChinaSmith

        I'm leaning toward voter fraud. Or perhaps God Fraud.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Godenfreude?…

    • CindynEncinitas

      If Romney loses it will be because God wants to punish teh gheys and the sluts who visit the abortionplex every Monday morning.

    • YasserArraFeck

      It means Gawd's a Booooooooodist!!!!! Save us, Sweet Baby Jeebus!!!!!!

      • MosesInvests

        Om mani padme om.

  • MonkeyHamlet

    I'm glad Abe Vigoda isn't alive to see this.
    What?
    Really??!!
    Fuck.

  • savethispatient

    So… Alex the Parrot is allowed to vote, right?

    • BadKitty904

      He's better qualified than these folks…

      • savethispatient

        Spoon!

        • BadKitty904

          See?

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Nut!

    • widestanceromance

      Sadly, Alex is no longer alive, but he can still vote in MN.

    • Negropolis

      Too soon! :(

    • jzgplj

      He died in 2007. So he might be able to vote in Chicago.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    Poll tax: unacceptable
    Literacy test: unacceptable
    Sanity test: well, we could talk about that one

  • MissTaken

    Finally, someone is addressing the violent threat of the Buddhists to our national security.

    • SorosBot

      We better be careful; according to some documentaries I saw Buddhist monks are all martial arts experts and some have magic-seeming powers from meditation and summoning their ki.

      • MissTaken

        On the street corner this morning a Buddhist monk with one leg smiled at me. I kicked his ass because he's a threat.

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          We must ever be on the alert for Buddhazilla.

        • SorosBot

          And he didn't fry you with a Shoryuken? You were lucky to get out of there alive!

          • mayor_quimby

            You gotta counter with a hahdookeeen! Either that or front flip over the energy ball and kick him in the back of the head.

          • Negropolis

            Down, right, A! Down, right, A!

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Well, he stood about as much chance of beating you as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest…

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Are you guys sitting in your new apt posting on wonkette on separate computers?
          Cuz that shit is too cute.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        And old men hold young boy's stones in their hands until it is time for them to go!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      What is the sound of one hand stabbing?

      • Steverino247

        Fap fap fap!

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      The Tamil Lobby and the Chinese authorities in Tibet have taken over K Street!

      • horsedreamer_1

        gingers, you're next!

    • shelwood46

      There is a Fantasy book series called The Sword of Truth. The author is a total Randroid. The first few books are okay, but then the whole thing turns into an Objectivist polemic. One of the later books has a group that is very like Buddhists — non-violent, vegetarians, the whole deal — and the author spends the whole book making the point that they are fundamentally EVIL. Including having the "hero" face an unarmed old woman who is arguing for non-violence… and the hero stone cold cuts her in half, vertically, with his sword. His Sword of Truth, which only, by the rules of that world, works if a killing is justified.

      I would have thrown the book across the room but I was reading on my Kindle, and I didn't hate it $99 worth. Close, though, very close.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        If that's where the series ended up, I find it hard to believe there was anything of value in the first few books.

        • viennawoods13

          That is why I stopped reading fantasy series a long time ago (until Game of Thrones). Most of it was just bullshit, and not even good bullshit.

  • Schmannnity

    Somewhat on topic, I heard a Romney ad today that "A vote for Obama is a vote for the policies that got us into this mess." Is he reading Obama's ads now?

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    If she undid her bra, maybe the wrinkles on her face will disappear.

    • cheetojeebus

      oh fuck. I hate you. Having visualized that, life has become not worth living.

    • YasserArraFeck

      ugh…….

    • LibrarianX

      The HORROR…!

    • AncienReggie

      Dude, that's harsh. But funny, damned funny.

    • Negropolis

      Comment of the Year.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Koan: What is the sound of one brain cell firing?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      ♪ derp ♪

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      A conservative wouldn't know a koan unless it had ice cream in it.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Chris Christie libel.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Prosecution rests, your honor, with Exhibit A

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      I read that as "What is the sound of one brain cell farting?"

      A: Republican Party

    • YasserArraFeck

      Romney/Ryan 2012!!!

    • Negropolis

      **whoosh**

    • MosesInvests

      USA! USA! USA!

  • Lucidamente1

    Well, that settles it: the universe does have an infinite supply of stupidity.

  • coolhandnuke

    Is this GED and Trucknutz Vocational School commencement night at this Ohio high school?

  • EnnuiThereYet?

    If the Buddhists take over we might achieve Nirvana and where would we be then?

    • SmutBoffin

      Nowhere and everywhere, Katie.

    • TavariousChinaSmith

      Does that mean we'd all smell like teen spirit?

    • salt_bagel

      Obama. Buddhists. Nirvana. All Apologies. Apologizing for Murrica.

      It all makes sense.

    • Steverino247

      In a garage band in Seattle?

      • horsedreamer_1

        More likely, dead in Courtney Love's loft, by Courtney Love's hand?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Kissing Molly's lips?

  • Fox n Fiends

    No Information Voters are the new Low Infomation Voters.

    • SmutBoffin

      Since what they actually do know is all lies, I would call them 'negative information voters'.

      • Yankee_Steve

        high entropy voters?

  • SoBeach

    Buddhists. Man. Let me tell you, the next Tibetan dude who shows up at my door telling me I'm the reincarnation of the Buddha is getting a punch right in the nose.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      OMG! You're giving to another!

      You ARE the Buddha!

    • YasserArraFeck

      Unless he's from the Tibetan Publishers Clearing House, of course.

  • cousinitt

    Is our parrots learning?

    • 415buzzard

      My parrot votes for the Kenyan.

      • widestanceromance

        Is that your parrot as your avatar (proud keeper of an African grey myself)? Naturally, the Kenyan gets my Congo's vote because mother country and that.

        • 415buzzard

          Yes! 23 year-old Yellow Nape Amazon. She's been running the household here for 22 of those years. Barry gets her "Latina" vote even though she's not in danger of being deported.

          • widestanceromance

            She looks really good! Parrots do tend to run the place, don't they? Give her a scritch from me and Marco.

          • 415buzzard

            Sure thing! Birds are the BEST. I am headed for Crazy Bird Lady status but luckily my husband is the same way…..

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            How many have you got?

          • 415buzzard

            Only one, want more. Not sure current bird would be happy with competition.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            I've got two. It's wonderful, but one does pick on the other some. Nice to meet a fellow bird lover!

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Awwww… My cockatiel is 23.

          • 415buzzard

            My vet says don't let them get fat and they'll live til 60!

      • cousinitt

        Aha! You must have a Coracopsis nigra.

        Figures. Blahs of feather…

    • YasserArraFeck

      Well, those Ohio parrots are clearly not…..

  • oenspiek

    The non sequitur density threatens to collapse the romniverse into a wingularity. Just how false can their vacua be?

  • cognachas4paws

    Someone wake me when the election is over. I'm going to hide under my bed until then.

  • MissTaken

    I *knew* my fear of all things Richard Gere was totally justified.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Nice gerbil you got there.

      • Negropolis

        Shame if it was to disappear into an inconvenient location…

    • YasserArraFeck

      Is that a gerbil in your asshole or are you just pleased to see me…..

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    It would be nice if there was a Bookmobile in the background.

    • Disassembly

      Too bad it would probably be rear-ended by a Firemobile.

    • http://kittenbomb.wordpress.com kittenbomb

      More likely a Bat(shit)mobile.

    • kyeshinka

      And a red-haired chickenfucker at the helm.

    • Beach_Bubba_Tex

      They'd burn it… I've been there

  • BadKitty904

    "I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people… I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out."

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Smith's invisible hand isn't working very well … it's time to give Darwin's invisible fist a shot.

  • SorosBot

    Alzheimer's does explain why someone would consider voting Romney.

    • BadKitty904

      But only because Dwight D. Eisenhower chose not to run.

    • LibertyLover

      Or propaganda… lots of propaganda.

  • 415buzzard

    I am starting to think that I should stay off the interwebs and away from the TV until this shit is over. Can't take much more of this.

  • http://kittenbomb.wordpress.com kittenbomb

    I live in Texas. We've just cold outlawed critical thinking altogether. Cuts out the middle man.

    • cousinitt

      Like we really need a frontal cortex, ha!

      • YasserArraFeck

        Absolutely – switch to a 5 gallon hat and save money

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The state with the 85 mph speed limit, AND resistance against limits on the Constitutional right to text while driving. What could possibly go wrong?

    • kyeshinka

      Who said big gummit don't work?

    • http://kittenbomb.wordpress.com kittenbomb

      We're too busy line dancin' and shootin' at things to do much of yer book lernin'.

      (And thanks for nothing, Rick Perry.)

    • LibrarianX

      From what I've seen, this is true. Lots of Texas people stray into New Mexico, where I live.

      • Graham Cracker

        We should be putting up a Fence along our border…
        …to keep the Texans out!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Last time I checked, between the Texans and the Californians, New Mexico was under constant siege. Have they ruined it yet?

  • ElPinche

    Romney:
    "They're there, we all know."

  • HempDogbane

    We have a few Kenyan Bhuddo-Fascist Socialists here. I think. At least they look kinda suspicious…

  • MonkeyMotion

    Something tells me there was no MENSA booth at that rally.

    • Disassembly

      They have one but it's of the dunking variety.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        DENSA

        • viennawoods13

          FTW

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Real geniuses accomplish real shit, not just working puzzles and congratulating each other about it.

    • Negropolis

      Something tells me that there is probably more than one NAMBLA booth at that rally.

  • Schmannnity

    It's nice to know as a Floridian that another state full of dumbasses is playing a pivotal role in the selection of the president.

  • Callyson

    Oh hell no–I'm still traumatized by spending seven and a half minutes watching that FOX News clip.

    • Mittaplasia

      Start the Valium IV, stat!

  • CrunchyKnee

    Anytime I feel a bit stupid, or do something dumbassish, I have to remind myself that I was born in Ohio and I come by it honestly through osmosis. Damn you, CrunchyKnee Sr. for going to school in Ohio.

  • TootsStansbury

    I don't think the founding fathers envisioned their wonderful experiment failing due to overwhelming derpitude.

    • Beach_Bubba_Tex

      The FF's never (and I mean never) envisioned a democracy… I think I can see their point

  • docterry6973

    Each and every one of 'em is a Randian hero, prepared to excel in a world without governmental protection. John Stossel says so.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    "HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?"

    They dig multiple wives and covered dish dinners? I guess that could include Mormons for that matter…ooops.

  • http://dandalionsworld.blogspot.com/ dandalion

    Why did that video make me sad?… Is it because these people are for real?.. wow..

    • red_kira

      OH yes! Good point. Yes, it is soooo sad. They just don't get it. They're being rolled. Poor poor saps.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Look on the bright side. By 2032, 90% of the people who attended that rally will no longer be with us.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "Do you have 50,000 dollars?"
    "No, I don't."
    "I don't even have 50 dollars. That's why I'm voting for Romney. He has plans."

    • ElPinche

      LMAO!!! I can't help it. The stupid is too funny.

    • SmutBoffin

      Mitt has plans all right. Plans to sell us all to China as a protein source, but plans nevertheless.

      • Steverino247

        Soylent's moving their factories to China, too?

  • Dashboard Buddha

    If a teabagger loses his shit and there isn't a live mic nearby, does he still make a sound?

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    If that was a representative sample of the people who attend (and present at) a Mitt Romney rally, I'm not too worried about America. On the other hand, if that was a representative sample of Americans… Yikes!

  • Not_Mother

    @ 4:30…is Bronco a muslin, atheist or a commie? ALL OF THEM, KATIE!!11!

  • TootsStansbury

    In the babble it says the meek shall inherit the earth. This must have been mis-heard or not translated correctly. It should say the meatheads shall inherit the earth. Derp.

    • TavariousChinaSmith

      Meatloaf shall inherit the derp.

  • taylormattd

    I think I hate you forever for posting this. My god.

  • Franknflower

    My God, is that what real Americans look like? Except 2:35. He's dreamy for at least 5 more years.

    • http://yunoletmehavecoolwebnameblogspot.blogspot.com/ Jennyjen798

      Yuck! You can totally tell he sucks in bed too.

      I'll take scrawny, nerdy gingers who can hold a complete thought instead!

    • BoroPrimorac

      You can see the dumb seeping out of his pores.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Buddhists are a threat? They'll get my dashboard icon when they pry it out of my cold dead fingers.

  • salt_bagel

    This is a test of the Stupidity Broadcast System. This is only a test.

    DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR
    RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

    This has been a test of the Stupidity Broadcast System.

    • Nostrildamus

      This test was more successful than you could possibly imagine.

    • AddHomonym

      If this had been an actual Stupidity Emergency – wait a minute, IT IS!!!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    a lot of people that are voting for him is so they can continue to get their handouts

    Translation: I haven't figured out a way to contact the Ohio Department of Economic Security for those benefits or I would have them too.

    • BoroPrimorac

      Translation: I am on benefits, but I'm white and I deserve them.

  • Beowoof

    TS:DW – too stupid; didn't watch.

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    Hey Mitt! Behold the 53%.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Romney’s got a plan…
    Probably doesn’t include you Ohioans.

  • http://parterre.com La_Cieca

    Granny Whitehead at least has the excuse she is suffering from advanced dementia. As for the rest of these overfed cornholers…

  • SmutBoffin

    MITT ROMNEY PARKING LOT

    "Romney rules, all that democrat shit sucks. And fuck Obama, he's a dick."

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      stop reading my mind

  • a_pink_poodle

    What's the time stamp for the Buddhist invasion? I don't feel like sifting through 8 minutes of crazy.

    • AutomaticPilot

      It's at the end – last minute or so.

    • TavariousChinaSmith

      I would tell you, but then you would owe me seven minutes and forty seconds of my life back.

  • PuckStopsHere

    He's a Christian? He's a CHRISTIAN? Not in any sense of which I am aware.

  • BadKitty904

    So, let me get my take-away from this video straight – all the smart people are voting for Obama, then?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Who's the genius who figured out that the moron demographic was big enough to be worth the attention of the GOP? Because they sure as hell have got a lock on it. (And you thought blacks were solid for Obama!)

    • BadKitty904

      Abyssus abyssum invocat…

  • Beetagger

    Well that was fun. A fucktard rally.

  • vulpes82

    The BUDDHISTS! I knew they were up to something, ever since that Keanu Reeves movie!

  • Diabeetis

    I know many people here don't like to admit it, but much of the sainted, oh-so-noble middle class thinks like this.

  • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

    So now the Buddhists are a threat. Ok. I think we're done here. That pretty much covers everybody. The crazy boat is full of water, the stern has gone under, and Jack and Rose are in the water. Nothing to do now but rest in our icy grave and wait for the robots to come looking for our jewelry.

    • emmelemm

      I appreciate your flair for the dramatic.

    • coolhandnuke

      And yell at an empty deckchair.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Even adorable hipster boy was unable to contain his incredulity at that one.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Why wasn't this Buddhist threat brought up in the foreign policy debate?!?

  • ElPinche

    Joe the Ewok at 3:28.

  • mormos

    if these people win on tuesday i am moving to another country for the next 3 1/2 years. i will offically give up.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    These people are the canaries in the information mine.

    • Mittaplasia

      Information is the canary in these people's minds. Information goes there to die.

  • Tom

    This is the one state that will decide the election? Again?

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I like how some of the audience members look like demon sheep.

    • BadKitty904

      As accurate a description of the hardcore Repug base as I've heard, to date…

  • copiki

    That is a strong kid, I don't think I'd be able to interview these people without punching faces.

  • kyeshinka

    Poor lady is still mad nobody came to her funeral last year.

  • Nostrildamus

    Six posts today from Fox News, and this get's labeled "Today in Idiots" ?!?!?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I continue to battle the forces of eeevil !!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

    Jeannie and Jimmy Cheatham's Sweet Baby Blues Band
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twp-S_jH52c&fe

  • mavenmaven

    Was that Chris Farley singing at the end?

  • UW8316154

    That parrot is smarter than most 2nd graders.

  • Callyson

    OT alert–Nate's latest tweet:

    SELL OBAMA ON INTRADE / MT @politicalwire: Dick Morris, who just days ago predicted landslide for Romney, sees danger signs for Republicans.

    USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

  • BadKitty904

    "Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."

    ~ Will Cuppy

  • HogeyeGrex
    • widestanceromance

      This fellow speaks for all of us:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL1foQKD3OI

    • 415buzzard

      Oh my gosh, I have seen that video before. That bird is excellent. Much better viewing than that old Romney hag from Ohio and all her gross buddies.

    • Mittaplasia

      Is he pining for the fjords?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Omg, thank you. That made my day.

  • http://for-the-turnstiles.blogspot.com 4TheTurnstiles

    Yes. Buddhists! We're quiet, mostly, but we're EVERYWHERE…
    http://www.dharmaweb.org/index.php/North_America

  • UW8316154

    The comment got depressed and killed itself after watching that video.

  • MrsConclusion

    A gold star to that kid for successfully not laughing when that idiot started decrying the Buddhist invasion and subversion of teh U.S. He also did similar deadpan interviews with Sarah Palin fans in 08, with similar results. THANK YOU OHIO!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Yeah I've seen him before. He's really very good.

  • UW8316154

    "He's all three!" is the new "All of them, Katie."

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      And a meme is born.

  • Nostrildamus

    "Buddhists are taking over America…"

    OMG, these people are idiots !!!

    And at that moment, Gonsu was enlightened.

    • MosesInvests

      One hand claps for that comment.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    A massive fucking scavenger hunt for a brain cell.

    • Mittaplasia

      There seems to be an epidemic of single cell anemia in the Republican base.

      • MosesInvests

        More like acephalia.

  • bloggingbalkanistan

    I couldn't even watch the video, as with Blanche, I depend on the kindness of strangers, in this case my fellow wonketteers to describe the horror.

    Even the remotest .1% possibility that Bamz could lose on tuesday makes me depressed.

    GOTV or GTFO
    I don't want crazy hair grandma to be happy on Wed. morning? Do you?!

  • JackObin

    I blame three things for this rampant American stupidity: Doritos, Diet Coke and Fox News.

    • DustyBowlBlues

      What about cheetos?

  • notreelyhelping

    I don't what the heck's goin' on with this country, with them Buddhists settin' themselves on fire on every other streetcorner and whatnot. It's a gosh-darned fire hazard is what it is.

  • StillGoinGreen

    I would like to go through Tweety's Obama checklist:

    Are you proud that Obama –
    ended the ER visit as an insurance alternative
    lowered the unemployment from 10 to 7.8%
    ended the war in Iraq
    killed the bad guy that planned 9/11
    doubled the stock market
    ran a clean, scandal free WH for the last 4 years
    has a family that makes you smile to see them in the WH
    Measures up to the history books

    Count me as a check mark for "All of the above!"

  • red_kira

    Slit. Wrist. Open. Vein. NOW.

    • Mittaplasia

      I'd prefer you didn't but if you insist, please vote first. Please?

  • Beach_Bubba_Tex

    effing Buddhists… I TOLD you man!

  • http://radamisto.blogspot.com Yankee_Steve

    WHY AMERICA MAY REALLY BE ON THE DECLINE
    Clowns like this guy are being aided & abetted by conservative media:

    The Tea Party gets a news site
    POLITICO
    By DYLAN BYERS |
    10/31/12 3:38 PM EDT

    Gregg Anderson · Top Commenter · Mankato, Minnesota
    Adam Smith's "The Wealth of Nations" was a classic early MARXIST manifesto. If you don't know that, then you really shouldn't be referencing it, unless you want to be called a Marxist.
    Reply · Like · 22 hours ago

    • http://chaosmarxism.blogspot.com doloras

      Funny thing is, Adam Smith's economics are closer to those of Karl Marx than they are to modern "marginalist/neoclassical/monetarist" voodoo nonsense.

  • YerMa

    FREEDOM!!!!1!!1

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Free Dumb.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Yarr, not a looker in the bunch.

    Also, not a non-white person in the bunch.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    This Just In: Wonkette Goes Down for Hours, Wonketteers Left Unsatisfied, Teary.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Who is Halle Berry in Cloud Atlas?

  • KateLRAR

    Alex the Parrot (may he rest in peace) was 10 times smarter than anybody interviewed.

  • EdFlintstone

    I never realized Idiocracy was a documentary.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    Wonkette weekend today is like a Friday news dump where the letter proving Alito has gay lover is semi-hidden. Which is to say, far too much good stuff. Or maybe I haven't made enough wonkette time in my life.

    These morons live in the Bubble with my neighbors. All they know about politics are the hate lines Faux Newz and Hate Radio feed them. Oh, and their preacher, some clown with a degree from the Xian "college" up by the highway. How sick are we all of hearing these wingers demand their "country back. " WTF? Where did it go? They don't know. That's just what Big Brother says.

    They scare me, even while I find their stupitude oddly fascinating, except I've found that when I ask people here in the Dust Bowl leading questions about politics then smile at them in that odd way you do when you're a kid watching your first video of lemmings going over the cliff, I've discovered they don't seem to take to being studied like a lab rat.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      They don't punch you in the face because you are a lady.

  • King_of_I_am

    Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Oooga-booga. I'm coming to eat your children.

  • tessiee

    For those who have not already heard about this, tomorrow afternoon, the UAW will bring charges against Mitt for violating the Federal Ethics in Government Law by improperly concealing his multi-million dollar windfall from the auto industry bail-out:
    http://readersupportednews.org/opinion2/277-75/14

    To repeat, UAW is going to bring criminal charges against Mitt for violation of ethics laws. While this is not technically an *October* surprise, I'll take it.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    The fate of the nation lies in the hands of the Ohio voters.

    oh for fuck's sake.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    Are they talking about those Burmese (marsbar, or whatever the generals renamed it) Buddhists who are attacking their neighboring villagers who are , , , Muslins? Since I was listening to NPR before I got up this AM, I might have gone back to sleep and dreamed this.

    Or maybe that guy demonstrated epic Islamaphobia fail by forgetting what the terrorists he is afraid of are called. If only nitwit had said Hari Krishnas.

  • viennawoods13

    What a very….white….crowd.

  • Negropolis

    My favorite line:

    "He hasn't been 'presidential'."

    These are some slippery bastards, aren't they?

    Oh, and my next favorite lines after the old, confused banshee got called on her shit:

    "He's all three."

    LOL!

    • GeneralLerong

      "old, confused banshee"

      Thank you for verbalizing what my right brain was screaming silently to express.

      Ba-a-a-a-ansheee! Ba-a-a-a-anshe-e-e-e-e-eeee!

      • Negropolis

        Truly, she looks like something straight out of Irish folklore. I wanted to add "dizzy", but didn't get to it before you responded. lol

    • bobbert

      Well, gee, the first one is pretty accurate, for the standardized teabag value of "presidential" == white.

      • Negropolis

        Yep. Exactly why I put it in quotes. It's just barely veiled.

  • Negropolis

    Nevermind…

  • Negropolis

    When the zombie apocalypse comes, it will be wearing sweat pants and wrapped in the American flag.

    Buckeyes were always nothing but a bunch of nuts, anyway.

  • simlasa

    Damn, these people are SMART… they've got me convinced, I'm gonna vote Romney!

  • barto

    Fucking Buddhists. I hate 'em.

  • dennis1943

    "Suspicions confirmed" about does it…………

  • An_Outhouse

    USA! USA! USA!

  • smitallica

    "…Romney's a Christian…"

    Ma'am, if you knew the FIRST fucking thing about Mormonism, you would know how perfectly untrue that statement is.

    • Negropolis

      The bigger irony of the statement, of course, being that President Obama is a Christian. If Romney can be considered a Christian, than Obama sure as hell better be considered one.

  • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

    This year, on my birthday, Pat Robertson told his viewers that if they have a neighbor who has a Buddha statue in their yard to destroy it. It was very Talibanesque of him, and THEY think that WE are the dangerous ones?

  • ttommyunger

    Pee-crusted old twat says what? BTW, I hear Dubya is going to stump for Mittens Monday; I guess there really is a bottom to their barrel.

  • ElPinche

    The best quote of the 2012 Election (at 7:38):

    "Buddhists…they're there. We aaall know."

    Seriously..I've been laughing non-stop.

  • usuhname

    I think we could learn a lot more about America by doing spot interviews with parrots (why no vote?)

  • BenGleck

    "HOW CAN A PERSON BE MUSLIM AND ATHEIST AND GO TO CHURCH?"

    But more importantly WHY would a Muslo-Atheist goto church?

    Oh, yeah, right, because it is intended to deceive you; its all part of Obama's plan.

    Oh, that wily, though not that bright, industrious, though lazy, warmonging Buddhist.

  • jzgplj

    That was some really delicious stupidity.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    I saw all of these people at a casino in Oklahoma last weekend. I was just passing through, but I'm getting increasingly concerned about their reality encroaching on mine.

  • rickmaci

    With any luck, the collective IQ of our nation will go up at least 25 points on Wednesday morning when all these imbecile tea floggers commit mass suicide.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15681812432224138582 rjsigmund

    yep. my neighbors. every one of them

  • commandermonkey

    Oh Eddie, how far you have fallen. Your Rocky Horror friends must be so sad for you.

  • http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

    Folks are voting on same-sex marriage in my state. One of my standard silly laugh lines on that subject had been, "Who's next? Are conservatives gonna start raggin' on Buddhists for not being good and faithful Christians?" I should feel good about being so psychic, but oddly enough I don't.

  • Smithboy

    The lady with the white hair reminds me of Cheri Oteri's Collette Reardon..check it out…..

    http://www.break.com/tv-shows/saturday-night-live

  • Cheburashka64

    Short Version:
    I like Romney. He has electrolytes.

  • GlowneyHouse

    *fap*

  • clecinosu

    This could be any town in rural Ohio. Like mine. I hear this B.S. constantly from the morons who live near me, many of them propped up by their farm subsidies.

    Reminds me of an old Letterman skit that stated all New York Post headlines must contain words like "Bloody," "Affair" and "Killfest," only the words Teabagger idiots must use in every sentence are "Usurper," "Kenyan," "Socialist" and "Muslim."