It's cool, guys. McNaughton has a black friend.Republican painter-artist Jon McNaughton has come out with a new painting! You know, in case there was too much subtlety in his painting of Obama presiding over a terror-wracked deathscape Sharialand populated by Nidal Hassan and unemployed brown people.

This one’s called “The Runaway Slave,” and that torch means he’s voting for Romney. “Runaway” is a reference to his escape from the plantation of government dependency, and “Slave” is a reference to him, you know, being black.

Also, you should definitely appreciate the subtle metaphors at work here, like how the slave guy can afford a wristwatch but still has to use a torch, and that if those folks were behind the Lincoln Memorial in real life, they would be in the middle of the Potomac. It’s art, man. It all means… something.

From McNaughton’s lengthy, not-silly-at-all description of the work, (which you can get a print of for just $39.00!):

My position is that the Democratic Party has brought the demise of Black America. Currently, 95% of all blacks vote Democrat, and yet what do they have to show for it? 25% of blacks suffer from poverty conditions. 16% of blacks are unemployed and 30% of all abortions are black babies. Also, a majority of our inmates are Black Americans.

What evil the Democrats have been perpetrating! Let’s take this one at a time, so we may properly understand how horrible the leftists have been to minorities while the GOP has been trying to save them.

25% of blacks suffer from poverty conditions.

Actually, it’s 35 percent. Why on earth would those silly poors vote for Democrats, with their mildly progressive tax plan, when they COULD vote for Republicans, who want to help them get out of slavery by gutting services and infrastructure and giving their bosses tax cuts! Obviously that is the better choice for poor people; voting for the party that helps rich people. If they call it “freedom” that makes it freedom, right? Obviously.


16% of blacks are unemployed

Oh no! They’re unemployed! Quick, what would Romney do? Luckily, he has told us, in an interview about minority stuff! The answer is… nothing!

The best thing I could do to help African American unemployment is to create growth of the overall economy which will lead to greater employment overall.

Got it. So, nothing.

Buuuut, Mr. CutsTheGovernment surely knows that about 20 percent of employed blacks are employed at some level of government, according to the Department of Labor, which means Romney wouldn’t technically be doing nothing about black unemployment… he’d be making it worse, because we are scared of China or something.

What’s this painter guy’s next statistic?

30% of all abortions are black babies

Well, it’s closer to 37 percent, but that’s not the point. The point is that black women have a higher rate of abortions, and it is clearly because Democrats have enslaved them.

It is probably only a minor concern that the reported rate of black women using contraception is 29 percent lower than that of white women — that would make more pregnant ladies, wouldn’t it? That might mean that everyone should be taught how to avoid pregnancies in the first place, like in school or something, and then maybe they should have access to affordable ways to prevent getting pregnant. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? And it would result in less unborn babies being murdered by Democrats?

It must be Republicans that are pushing for that, right? It’s the Democrats that want abstinence-only education, the repeal of Obamacare, and to label women who use birth control whores? That’s pretty much Obama doing that stuff, right?

We could continue making fun of this patriotic artist, this… patriartist… but it seems the point has been made without pointing out that McNaughton also makes reference to Martin Luther King Jr. and is donating all profits to C.L. Bryant, who was head of the NAACP until he heard Rush Limbaugh on the radio one time and is now calling people slaves.

The point, of course, being that you need this painting in your salon immediately. To think otherwise would be… slavery?

Check out Wonkette on Facebook and Twitter, and, if you’re really excited, Rich Abdill is on Facebook and Twitter too.

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  • PeaceWithHonor

    Needs anime

  • The guy with the chains looks a lot like Vlad Lenin. Just sayin', for the socialisms.

    • SnarkOff

      I think he looks like Rip Torn.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I think both.

      • tessiee

        "Rip Torn"

        Needs moar glitter.

      • DrunkIrishman

        That's exactly what I thought too! Needs more DUI, tho.

      • OneDollarJuana

        If you can dodge a tax, you can dodge a ball.

    • AddHomonym

      I thought at first it was Rick Warren, you know, with the white collar and the facial hair and all. Rick Warren does wear a white collar, right? Or did I dream that?

    • tessiee

      I thought he looked like Genghis Khan.
      I seriously didn't know he was supposed to be black until I read the article.
      Jon McNaughton is not a very good artist, is he?

      • sullivanst

        I have a sneaking suspicion that it's supposed to be MLK, and Jon McN is really that terrible at painting.

        Although I'm sure on the official site there's a tooltip to tell you who it is and why he's there and what he had for lunch and what that means.

        • YasserArraFeck

          "Tooltip" sounds kind of dirty, although I'm sure that's not what you meant, right?

          • sullivanst

            Correct, McNaughton's the entire tool.

    • viennawoods13

      I was wondering what Worf was doing in a preacher get-up, myself.

      • AGAIN! You made me larf out loud and frighten the fucking cats off the bed.

        At this rate, I'm gonna be worrying about them putting paid to me in my sleep, girl.

        • viennawoods13

          It's good for the cats. Gets their blood pumpin'. And if it keeps them from sticking their butts in your face, all the better. Our new cat thinks that everybody enjoys having a cat butt right up on the pillow with them.

          • Ours are too fucking smart for that shit. They wait till we pass out and THEN sit on our faces. Many's the time I've awoken with suspicious quantities of cat hair on my lips.

            Resentful little fuckers, tho. And they sure do know how to hold a grudge.

      • CthuNHu

        ST:TNG/Firefly mashup: Shepherd Worf.

        The universe trembles in confusion.

    • MrsConclusion

      Actually he looks like Rip "Zed" Torn in the Men in Black movies. Hmm…

    • lulzmonger

      "We must exceed the previous quota of emancipations to provide new workers for the Five Year Paln!"

  • CrunchyKnee

    Dude is no Al Jaffe, I tells ya.

    • Lot_49

      Or George Woodbridge, or even a Don Martin.

      • tessiee

        You know how surprised you were the first time you heard Mike Tyson speak?

        Don Martin was good-looking.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Or Will Elder. Hoo hah, feh, furshlugginer, diced chicken fat, etc.

    • Wait until you fold it in thirds!

    • tessiee

      He can't even come up with any snappy answers to stupid questions.

  • PsycWench

    Damn if an escaped slave ought to be holding up a torch like that.

    • BadKitty904

      Where do you even buy a torch nowadays? Home Depot?

      • PsycWench

        Looks more like Homeless Depot.

        • sullivanst


      • DCBloom

        Walmart, natch

      • Assume Torches "я" Us

    • Negropolis

      Escape: You're doing it wrong.

  • DaveJ

    Pretty easy to escape the shackles of slavery when the leg iron is like 2x as wide as your leg.

    • You know how it is. Whitefolks like the trappings way better than the trap.

    • spambot222

      not for nothing, but that's a neck iron.

  • Is he keeping the chains as a souvenir? Also, wristwatch?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Watching the World Series and the playoffs, I noticed managers wearing a watch.

      I thought baseball was the game played without a clock?

  • BadKitty904

    Jon McNaughton, America’s Greatest Painter, Now Fighting Slavery, Geography, and Reality


  • PsycWench

    I'm not exactly sure McNaughton knows what a black man looks like.

    • DaveJ

      Or fire, or the Washington monument.

      • gullywompr

        Or the Potomac, or the Memorial Bridge, or Capitol Hill. But if you take these things at his word, then those people are marching into a graveyard at night – Arlington Cemetary (which already has an eternal flame, bud, thanks).

        • Or the po-pos, who have been a mite twitchy of late, and might well wipe out any buncha folks wandering around those grounds in the pm wiv chains and torches.

          • YasserArraFeck

            It's Halloween – they'll get a pass for tonight

      • Radiotherapy

        Or fine art.

    • Beetagger

      Well, he does live in Utah. He's only seen them on tv.

      • emmelemm

        No way. That's just too perfect.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Over on Amazon in the comments under a "review" of "The Amateur," a right wing nut was whining about our President. She wrote "What would you call it if 95% of the white people voted for a candidate?"

        My answer was "Utah."

        • Beetagger

          I live there. Romney is up by 64% in the latest polls. Lily white and dumb as rocks. That's our state!

        • (Hugs TG) I knew I totes loved youse.

        • MonkeyBiz

          Note: Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, either Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, and Oklahoma would also have been accepted.

    • tessiee

      Hell, given the quotes above, I'm amazed he could figure out to hold the end of the brush that doesn't have paint on it.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Given the image above, I'm not sure he could.

    • You know, it gets fucking annoying having to explain to you people why American black people look the way they do, which is all kinds of skin colors and hair textures.

      • sullivanst

        I guess it's supposed to be this guy, which I surmise only because of McNaughton's text, because the resemblance is… not strong.

      • PsycWench

        Aw Chet. Don't be mad! I know why American black people look the way they do! If McN. wanted people to immediately recognize this figure as an escaped slave, I don't know why he'd paint someone with "good hair" who would "pass". I had the depressing thought that he might have thought this man would be more appealing if he almost looked white.

        • Negropolis

          That was my thought, exactly. Black people come dark-skinned to light-skinned to the 50 shades of blah in between; I'd imagine most people know this. Personally, on a spectrum between blue-black and "high yellow" I'm probably somewhere around "carboard" but maybe more red-tinted. But, if you're an artist wanting to send a blunt political message, you'd probably want a representation closer to Flava Flav than a 19th century Metis warrior. Jus sayin'.

  • Antispandex

    Torch light. Chains. An angry mob. What could it mean?

    • Disney's re-making Frankenstein?

      • Disney employee orientation movie?

    • kakotechnia

      Under the right circumstances, a very sexy adventure. Here? The magical racist fairyland where black folks lynch themselves. We will call it Romntopia, or as he calls it, Missouri.

    • Typodong3

      I dunno but the first thing I thought of when I saw this painting was… lets go catch that uppity black man and put him back in slavery!

    • Tundra Grifter

      Pat Buchanan must be in the background.

    • Negropolis

      That the trees are the right height, unfortunately.

  • nounverb911

    McNaughton's still dead? Right?

    • tessiee

      He's the unholy offspring of Dead Brietbart and Dead Thomas Kincaid.

  • Toomush_Infer

    A mob iss a trrrble thang….

  • YouBetcha

    I would like to order two of these. In velvet. Do you take Paypal?

    • emmelemm

      Bitcoins, Ameros and gold only, plz.

    • Can I get one with the slaves playing poker with Elvis?

    • Tundra Grifter

      Use one of those "disposable" credit cards, like the wing nutz use when they pretend to be Osama Been Forgotten and contribute to President Obama's campaign.

  • When not painting, he's commenting on Yahoo! News articles…

    • nounverb911

      Actually when he isn't painting he's dead.

    • ShreditorsDesk

      aol chat banned him for life

  • nounverb911

    Where's zombie Breitbart?

    • With the other tards In the brier patch.

      / with apologies to Uncle Remus

      • We look purty sharp in these clothes
        Unless we get sprayed with a hose …

        • lulzmonger

          Mmmm, knocking the little jockeys off the rich peoples' lawns …

        • sullivanst

          It puts the lotion in the basket…

          • Buy this magazine or the dog gets it.

      • tessiee

        Also, you misspelled "turds".

    • bobbert

      Moldering, thanks.

      • You look pretty sharp in those clo'es.

        • bobbert

          Thanks. That's my choral tux and attack cat.

          • You SING? (settles into adoration mode)

            Tell me more.

            Nice pussy, btw.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Where he belongs. It's November 1st.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Night of the Living (Still) Dead.

    • Negropolis

      Still dead.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Go ahead. Dead-thread me!! I shall not be thwarted in my battle against the dark forces of Fox News, Daily Caller, Bad Art and other things of that ILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    "Freedon Rider"

    • DCBloom

      Thanks, I really needed that

      • Blueb4sinrise

        [thought I broke the blog there]

  • ibwilliamsi

    Honestly, he's a terrible painter. I wouldn't buy that schlocky shit regardless of what the subject matter is.

  • SmutBoffin

    I don't know if it's art, but I know what I like.

    I hate this more than anything.

    • Francis Urquhart

      The most disturbing image since the Ayn Rand sex video.

  • Callyson

    It's time to run. "Run away from economic slavery. Run toward the blessings of liberty. Let us remain strong in this fight. Run away from socialism; run away from progressivism. And if you get tired, America … RUN HARDER!"ŒŠ

    “I will work harder!

    Orwell is up in heaven shaking his head–he did not know that he was writing a work of non-fiction…

    • tessiee

      Much less an instruction manual.

  • Hidden in the imagery are the angry white people who cut the edumkashun taxes to gut the public skule systems because they hate teachers and having the tinted peoples go to the same skulez as their precious.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Also, they obvsly cut the art funding.

    • Tundra Grifter

      I just read an article over at Yahoo about the 3.9 MILLION jobs open in the US of A. Employers can't fill them because they can't find people with the requisite skills and experience.

      Could a decline in public education have anything to do with this? Shoud community colleges and other institutions at least offer classes to help solve this?

      I mean, if someone wants an MA in Medieval Literature, more power to them. But are the viable alternatives available at a price people can afford?

  • PsycWench

    Ooh, the link goes to the McNaugton Fine Art Company. Maybe a better choice would be abbreviated, company?
    Yeah I know it's childish but it's Friday.

  • Not_So_Much

    I don't think he watched the full Bob Ross series.

    • emmelemm

      The trees do not look happy. (They are possibly, however, the right height.)

      • Nostrildamus

        No kidding. Those trees look angry. Goes with being dark, I suppose.

    • Lot_49

      The great thing about Bob Ross was the way he could cold bang out sentimental paintings in 30 minutes or less. The man was a painting machine, probably could've hammered out "Guernica" with nothing but a barbecue cleaning brush and some briquettes. Flick, flick, there's a grove of fir trees. Stroke, stroke, there's a moonlit creek.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        And a happy little bull…

  • smitallica

    So wait. This painting is telling me that Rip Torn is a Methodist minister/abolitionist/pyromaniac?
    Art is hard.

  • Lazy Media

    Actually, if you allow for crappy perspective drawing, he could be on the Virginia side of the Potomac, up on the hill at Arlington National Cemetery, but then there would need to be tombstones in the picture…. ::GASP:: JON MCNAUGHTON HATES THE TROOPS!

  • Callyson

    FFS, at least the Ohio "Blacks should wise up and vote Republican" ad had some nice people to look at. This crap, OTOH, deserves a prominent spot in the Museum of Bad Art.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      It deserves a permanent place in hell.

      With votes!

      Wait, it's the painting we're talking about, right? Well then, this painting should be executed by firing squad for treason against the state of good taste.

      With votes!

      [Dammit it's like a goddamn reflex… (of votes!) Dammit!]

  • DaveJ

    Looking at that outfit he's wearing, I'm not sure if he's escaped slavery, or the Banana Republic in Adams Morgan.

  • He's actually using the torch to alert everyone to shackle all the slaves. Call it "Torch and Shackle" government.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    "the subtle metaphors at work here, like how the slave guy can afford a wristwatch but still has to use a torch, and that if those folks were behind the Lincoln Memorial in real life, they would be in the middle of the Potomac. It’s art, man. It all means… something…."

    It means ….they have escaped Washington DC and finally escaped to….DIXIELAND!! They can sell that watch for a free ride to Baltimore…or maybe West Dixieland….to mine coal….or whatever.

    • The Depicted One can't look too slave-y, now. Gotta have a watch to distinguish Him as a credible businessman.

  • SmutBoffin

    Why is Mr. Everyblack's face all scrunched up? Did McNaughton let one in his studio?

  • Mittaplasia

    Pretty sure the caption wouldn't read, "Workers of the world, unite; cast off your chains."

  • ElPinche

    Good to see Lionel Richie (circa 1987) working.

    • MissTaken


      Is it me you're looking for?

    • If you blow it up (pun intended), the Depicted One looks like an interracial biker. Whatever the fuck that is.
      ♫♪ You are the sun
      You are the rain..♫♪

    • Redgyal


    • tessiee

      *dances on the ceiling*

  • njstore

    OT – Day whatever at the Jersey Shore. There is a grassroots volunteerism springing up on the south shore. First it was just families helping families and friends helping friends. Then I began to realize that the people who were complaining about like Millville(?)/Cumberland not getting FEMA help, when they were, it was more extreme exhaustion. Physical, emotional, mentally wiped out. The man complaining about FEMA, I needed to fill out his forms for him online. He could not do it. The shore is in our DNA., our collected history, the good times and it has been wiped out. So we are gaining force. We will get better. We will go to the shore next year. It is still here.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Your post just showed up here. You just keep going. You will get better and you will go to the shore next year. It is still there.

      Be strong. Be well. There's always snarky/sincere Wonketteers here if you need us.

    • tessiee

      We will go to down the shore next year.

    • Laguna? Is that you? I thought you were right here!

  • MonkeyHamlet

    First of all, I produce better, more meaningful "artwork" about two hours after lunch. Second, when Willard emerges from his million-lair on Tuesday to humiliatingly have to say "I have called President Obama to congratulate him…" I hope the Republitards spontaneously combust and instantly improve the DNA pool for 2016 when Hillary bitch slaps Christie's buffalo wing crammed mouth. Yeah, I'm done.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "First of all, I produce better, more meaningful "artwork" about two hours after lunch."

      Also, you didn't plaster it all over the interwebz for everyone to see.

      Unless you did. In which case I accept your lifestyle. I may not agree with it nor wish to ever be exposed to it, but I respect your choices.

    • calliecallie

      "I hope the Republitards spontaneously combust"

      Ah, the Rapture!

  • Shhh, keep it on the down low, he's carrying the torch for Romney. Or for Romney's mansion. Or for all of them. Light 'em if you got 'em.

  • mavenmaven

    "head of the NAACP", well, head of the Garland, Texas chapter of the NAACP for a little while. I suppose that's the same thing.

    • Redgyal

      Garland, texas? So he was already brainwashed?

  • Disassembly

    I found all the NINAs!

    • tessiee

      Good; now go look for all the Pintas and Santa Marias.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Just like Andrew Hussie's ultra-low quality wallpaper image of Dark Cage, not a single living soul asked for this.

    • What IS that horrible thing? And why does it have GREEN splotches? DARK green splotches?

      • CommieLibunatic

        Then you probably don't want to read his intentionally horrible comic. It actually takes a lot of work and over-processing to get it that bad.

        • Excuse me. I have to go lie down and fan myself.

  • JackObin

    American culture at it's finest. The Carravagio of the sewers. That "painting" is right up there with the one of the dogs playing cards. You can almost smell the Doritos on that thing.

    • bearperney

      "The Carravagio of the sewers." Love it! Please, may I use it?

    • cheetojeebus

      difference is, Those paintings of the dogs has survived as a populist image for decades but this dreck will be forgotten in a matter of a couple of years.

      • Wut dreck?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Hell, I intend to forget about it in a matter of days.

        What were we talking about, again?

  • Not_Mother

    Needz moar pitchforks.

  • kakotechnia

    COINCIDENTALLY, congressional Republicans would also be pretty stoked if all the black folks walked out of DC

    • Chichikovovich

      Since they'd be moving somewhere where they could vote for a Senator and a Representative, instead of the taxation without representation system they have now, I'll hazard the Congressional Republicans would try to put a fence around the city if that were to start happening.

      • THERE you are! I've missed you!

        (NO I wasn't throwing anything. OK, maybe some love and good thoughts, but nothing ELSE.)

        • Chichikovovich

          Thanks for noticing and thinking of me.I've been very, very busy with teaching and administrative duties, as well as the usual research commitments. This has reduced my Wonkette time to occasional dive-bombing, I'm afraid. I'll be back regularly soon, I'm hoping.—

          • I'm hoping too! Your presence is as the spring rain unto the tilled field dear friend! Return when you can, I'm always glad to see you.

            Life in these parts is a little colder and sadder without Baconzgood and a few other noteworthy Troublemakers. All the best to you and looking forward to your next appearance, however brief or lengthy.

  • Needz moar whining racists I want to kick in the balls.

  • Without a doubt, McNaughton is the finest living American Soviet Realist
    but what happened to the Potomac?

    • Looks like he's in Mananas looking for Rmoney to jog – you know see the bull run.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Putin may give him some side business

    • Whollyholeyholy

      Evaporated. No, that can't be right, because global warming is completely made up and that tropical blizzard in WV proves it.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Who built those torches?

  • ChrisM2011

    Whose walls are these paintings for? Conservatives that enjoy staying angry?

    • payton

      I hear Ted Haggard, he of the meth-stitutes, has quite a collection. (Of these paintings, not just of rentboys.)

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      'Conservatives that enjoy staying angry?"

      Please file in the Department of Redundancy Department.

  • That's the whitest Black guy I've ever seen.

    • I think it's a portrait of Frederick Douglas re-imagined as a bass player in a cocktail lounge trio. Who's been handed a torch.

      • I still don't understand why he didn't use Allen West.

        • bobbert

          Too hard to ignite.

      • kakotechnia

        Has bass-playing Frederick Douglass become a minister in the daytime? Does he fight crime at night after the set ends? Like any true fine artist, Jon McNaughton leaves it up to the viewer's imagination. And my imagination says that Frederick Douglass traveled to the year 1985 to follow God, join a jazz trio, and mete out vigilante justice. He admonishes sin in the morning, encourages it in the evening and fights it at night.

        • tessiee

          "Frederick Douglass traveled to the year 1985 to follow God, join a jazz trio, and mete out vigilante justice."

          They got a name for that: it's called "a bum". And without a job, a residence or legal tender, that's exactly what he's going to be: a fucking bum.

          • sullivanst

            He coulda been a contender…

    • Tundra Grifter

      I'm old enough to remember when Michael Jackson was Blah.

    • tessiee

      Among the many things McNaughty is confused about, he also seems to have confused "black" with "sort of ethnic" (e.g., Lou Diamond Phillips, Harvey Keitel, Eddie Van Halen, etc.).

      • BoroPrimorac

        The dude looks like a fat Cantinflas.

    • rickmaci

      Mormons and other right wing evangelical KKKristians cultists like their blacks moar white.

  • Fairtackle

    Government help = slavery.
    Actual slavery = having a job = freedom.

    Why is this so hard to understand people.

    • PugglesRule

      Rain = dry.
      Snow = warm.
      Steel = fluffy.

      Yeah, pretty much the same logic.

  • SpiderCrab

    Somewhere in Huckster Heaven, Thomas Kinkade is laughing his ass off.

    • kakotechnia

      Needz moar lighthouse.

    • cousinitt

      Wherein, Kinkade and Breitbart fire up stogies and talk about the good times they had as the artistic and political meth of modern Amerikur.

  • Best part about being a painter is you can put anybody you want in their place.

    • tessiee

      And if you can't draw or paint for shit, you can still write a story with a character just like whoever you don't like (change hair color so you don't get sued), and have them meet their gruesome and/or humiliating fate.

  • Franknflower

    Oh, I get it, writstwatch, time is running out. Very clever.

    • Redgyal

      No……it's a subtle tribute to Flava Flav asking "brother what time is it?"

  • Nostrildamus

    No eagles – Fail.

    • Hammiepants

      Excuse me, not just eagles – CRYING eagles.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I fucking hate the Eagles, man.

    • Negropolis

      This is what it sounds like….when doves cry.

    • tessiee

      I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

      Yes, I did read to the end of the thread; I just thought it was worth saying twice.

  • Lucidamente1

    This makes me miss Bob Ross even more.

    • MissTaken

      You don't like the Happy Little Torch?

      • PugglesRule

        There is nothing happy about that torch. And I bet it took McNaughton way more than 30 minutes (Bob-Ross-time) to paint this.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Wow, those chains are real shiny and brand-new looking. I wonder if they were made in China.

  • Hammiepants

    This is "Where's Waldo" for wingnuts.

  • Are they celebrating D.C. Statehood? That would be the real end of disenfranchisement, because taxation without representation.

    • emmelemm

      I believe that's what you call "an excellent point".

  • Needz moar twee little cottages and shimmery light.

  • cognachas4paws

    It looks like one of those paint-by-numbers thingies.

  • NYNYNYjr

    This is a poster for a new Rip Torn movie. I don't know, that's who I thought that guy was at first. He doesn't look black.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I love it when Wonkette confronts total bullshit with facts. So cute!

  • coolhandnuke

    He's got his paint-by-numbers math all confused and fuzzy.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    On a happier note, the new Bond flick looks like it's gonna kick ass; 95% positive aggregate on Rotten Tomatoes. I'm straight, but if I had to fuck a guy, I'd fuck Daniel Craig.

    • BadKitty904

      I dunno. I'm not str8, but I still think the early Sean Connory/Bond is totes hawter. Just sayin'…

      • gullywompr

        If I were to play for the home team, it would be 90's Pierce Brosnan. But since I was born this way, Gemma Arterton as Agent Strawberry Fields, please.

        • sullivanst

          As long as we're all agreed that Roger Moore isn't getting any.

          • gullywompr

            Agreed. Only good thing about that era was Jaws.

          • redarmyzombie

            Not even a pity fuck?

      • viennawoods13

        Hmmm. Why choose? Craig AND Connery? be right back…

        • gullywompr

          People tell me I look like Connery. People also tell me I look like Craig. Any other men you think are hot? Because people tell me I look like them also too.

    • Negropolis

      Stay thirsty, my friend.

    • tessiee

      If I had to cross that particular line, I think I'd go for Nicole Kidman.
      Salma Hayek looks like me, only about 500 times better-looking, so that would be more depressing than anything else; and I suspect that Scarlett Johansen may actually be a pool toy.

      • Negropolis

        and I suspect that Scarlett Johansen may actually be a pool toy.

        ROTFLMAO! THAT's it. That's exactly what she is.

        • gullywompr

          I still wanna know what Bill Murray said to her, though.

      • bobbert

        Tell us more about how Salma looks like you?

      • gullywompr

        Wouldn't depress me none, I'd pick Salma Hayek out of that lineup any day. I'd also pick Scarlett Johannsen out. And, OK, I'd pick Kidman out as well. I'm just picky, I guess.

  • 415buzzard

    Blingee contest?? I need a distraction at this point……

  • patriartist

    McNaughton is not only a painter, he is a foot doctor as well.

  • tracyhasfun

    Needs moar dog whistle.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    He should stick to black velet and puppies with big, sad eyes.

    • PugglesRule

      Or paintings full of "light", whatever that is.

  • ImpureScience

    That’s a picture of Lenin, right?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Wait a minute, I get it now, this is porno for Mormons!

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Obama's Closing Speeches 'Coming From His Loins,' Top Adviser Says ( )

    Aw, *DAD*-dy!!! ;0)~

  • Terry

    "and that if those folks were behind the Lincoln Memorial in real life, they would be in the middle of the Potomac. "

    Look at it another way. It would be a cold day if a large percentage of black people vote for Romney so maybe they just walked across the ice on the river.

  • Ducksworthy

    Those Blacks would be very happy to work in factories for their new Chinese overlords if the overlords would only house them in barracks surrounded by barbed wire.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Geez, and here I thought they were all looking for Frankenstein.

  • ElPinche

    Damn, aint that a bitch. My black minister has a torch app for his iphone.

  • chascates

    Is this site up and down because of the imminent Electionpocalypse?

    • LagunaB

      Servers in NYC. Mine are in Canada. Cheaper. And no problems. Ever. Kinda like Giuliani having the command center in the World Trade Centers. And we know how we'll that worked out.

  • YerMa

    That was super nice of Ice-T to take take from filming Law & Order: SVU to pose for this.

  • Trannysurprise

    This is the dumbest escaped slave ever.

    PRO TIP: Head North.

  • Mild correction — that's Saturday in Milwaukee. OT: what the heck happened to Wonkette this time? Glad we're back up.

  • BloviateMe

    Man, rough times to be black. First, finding out Abe was a repub, then this scathing educational indictment set on a canvas medium.

    If I was black, I'd have to do one of those sad music montages with me walking along a lakefront, skipping rocks and thinking long and hard about why I'm voting demoncrat.

    • tessiee

      Also, walking along a city street at night, after it just rained.

      • sullivanst

        It was a hard rain that night, a cleansing rain, washing the dirt from the city streets.

      • BloviateMe

        Which is right before I realize Romney is my own Golden Ticket, and a wise, kindly bystander urges me to "run home, run as fast as you can!" with my ballot clutched firmly in my grubby, but endearing hand.

        EDIT: I couldn't let that sit, even as fictional work. I ran home, and realized that Romney sucks ass. The end.

  • Goonemeritus

    I look forward to Jon McNaughton's white period.

    • LagunaB

      I look forward to him having no business.

  • YerMa

    That was nice of Ice-T to take time away from filming Law & Order: SVU to pose for this.

  • Chichikovovich

    Interesting you should mention that. Here's McNaughton's depiction of "the RINO":

  • Someone has been watching The Tale of Catcher Freeman.

  • Why is Cornell West holding a torch?

    • It is his unrequited love for Barack.

      • bobbert

        Now, that's good.

      • If only I had meant to set that up. Well played, sir. Well played.

  • bobbert

    Couple of remarks before heading off for my monthly dose of karaoke:

    1. Bloomy had a second attack of common sense and cancelled the fucking marathon.

    2. Our boy Nate concludes the day with Bamz at 81.4%

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That leaves me 18.6% very, very worried.
      Today's NYT takes wry look at Americans who think they'd move to Canada if Mitt wins, and how Canadians feel about that.

  • AlterNewt

    And people comment on them?

    • YouFail4eva

      Well, comments are posted. Whether they are people depends on your definition of people…

    • Tundra Grifter

      Yes – and there are some crazy motherfuckers over there!

      It's for people who can't figure out Twitchy (Worse. Brandname. Ever.) Or Red State.

  • LibrarianX

    Hmmm. Subtle.

  • VodkaGoGo

    I don't think I like this painting, it's awfully…um…urban for my decor.

  • rocktonsam

    needs moar Rafalca

  • LePiston

    This would be cool if it was a hot chick with braids holding that chain, leading around two armless, jaw-less dudes. And if Andrew Lincoln was walking around brooding.

  • vipond

    Please stop taking context into consideration when you consider these points about the Democrats; you're ruining McNaughton's buzz.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    'nother update…..remember long ago when we made fun of John Stossel………

    via Sadly, No! we learn that someone with initials M.Y.

    had similar insights.

    • bobbert

      Jesus. I used to think Yglesias had a working brain. Even if he's never been within hailing distance of an actual disaster, he should be able to see the main flaw in his "reasoning" — the restriction on the supply side is not due to insufficient incentives, it's due to the fucking disaster. I doubt I'll ever be able to take this bozo seriously again.

    • sullivanst

      Oh FFS, when will these idiots come to learn that misallocating a necessary product (e.g. gas or food or potable water) based on wealth is not preferable to misallocating it based on who's first in line.

      Also too, the idea that using supply methods that are only viable in the presence of rampant price-gouging is a good idea demonstrates that these morons really don't understand the concept of efficiency, despite the enormous amounts of time they tend to spend bloviating about the efficiency of the market.

      Shut up, morons! Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!

      ETA: Stossel also attempted to claim that price gouging would lead to lower consumption. No, you fucking idiot. Would you be willing to pay $50 to not have to wait 6 hours in line? Of fucking course you would. The wait is every bit as much an incentive to reduce consumption as the price would ever be, if not moreso. No, Stossel has money and believes to his very core that this should by him privilege. That is the argument he's making.

  • iamrrm

    The revolution will be single file!

    • Negropolis


  • Tundra Grifter

    At the bottom of the chain, on the ground, is that a cock ring?

    • tessiee

      Oh, boy, is YOUR phone gonna be ringing tonight!

  • comptoneffect

    No Jesus with the Constitution. I say it's a fake.

  • neiltheblaze

    I can't wait for the Cthulu version of this new one!

  • BadKitty904
  • Wadisay

    Next, dogs playing poker with chips that add to the federal deficeit.

  • uberneuman

    Ah, Rip Torn in the manner I always think of him: Drunk, wandering the streets with a torch in one hand and a chain he whips at people with in the other hand…

  • Lascauxcaveman

    "You mean you'd paint over that whole masterpiece?"

    (shrugs) "Sure, I gesso."

  • Negropolis

    In a national that involved itself in actual chattel slavery as opposed to metaphorical slavery, this is a totally appropriate subject matter for a painting, right? lol

    Mr. McNaughton isn't just fighting slavery…he's fighting irrelevancy, which, if you ask me, is a war he lost before it even began.

    Let my sheeple go, indeed. I say we ship 'em to the modern, lawless Sinai and call it a day; no one has lost any.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Wait. ……….Wut?

      • Negropolis

        I had three different thoughts, and condensed them into a single post. lol

        • sullivanst

          Which is almost how Jon McNaughton paints, except your thoughts appear once to have made sense.

    • vulpes82

      Hey, the monks at St. Catherine's don't want them! Also, something something "burning bush."

  • JustPixelz

    Makes me want to paint a fine art rendering of workers laid off by Bain leaving their factory by torchlight.

    Or a painting of the ghosts of soldiers killed in Iraq in the War To Prove Dubya Bush Has a Bigger Cock Than His Father.

    Or a pregnant teenager looking at a Planned Parenthood clinic with a "closed" sign.

  • Tundra Grifter
  • OneYieldRegular


    Où est donc passé ce chien ? Je l’ai cherché partout
    Où est donc passé ce chien ? Waou! Il va me rendre fou
    Où est donc passé ce chien ? Oh, ça y est je le vois

    C'est bien la dernière fois que je te cherche comme ça
    Veux-tu venir ici ? Je ne le répèterai pas
    Veux-tu venir ici ? Oh, ah oui, te voilà
    Veux-tu venir ici ? Oh, et ne bouge pas
    Veux-tu venir ici ? Oh, satané Mirza

  • THAT'S who I was trying to place! Good eye!

    Yessir, that most definitely is Mr. Rip Torn at night. He's clearly drunk, has gotten himself into some sort of shenanigan's (what with the torch and the chains and the mob that was chasing him down but then he charmed them and now they'll follow him anywhere). He's been painted right before he pawns his wrist watch; if I had to call it, day 3 of a Rip Torn bender.

  • lulzmonger

    Um … that looks a lot less like "The Runaway Slave" than it does "The Missing Chattel."

    That tired old schtick about MLK being a Republican Party supporter (until racists co-opted the GOP due to abandoning their ancestral home in the Democratic Party)? Yeah, that totally doesn't insult black folks' intelligence AT ALL.

    EDIT: To be fair, you can tell he paints well enough that you can't even see the numbers AT ALL.

  • OT: Lots of comments here on multiple stories so I must be one of the few who couldn't get on Wonkette all afternoon. I even fired up the Internet Explorer I haven't used for at least a year, thinking it might be my Firefox that was the issue. But no connection from there, either. Can't imagine what the problem is.

    • Negropolis

      Wonkette must be on servers in the tri-state area. I just found out, today, that that is the reason I haven't been able to access Daily Kos regularly. Their servers are literally on Manhattan.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Seems like it was brokeez for a couple of hours some hours ago. But we just kept trying and trying and trying and it sprang back up.

    • sullivanst

      I had DNS issues the first time I tried to get through. I think Sandy forcing the switch of hosting is messing stuff up a little; DNS propagation is a complicated business.

    • BadKitty904

      I blames the Powers o' Darkness…

    • emmelemm

      It was going in and out for me today. {yes, yes, gutter mind, go there, whatever} Seriously though, it was good in the morning (West Coast) and then out mid-late afternoon.

  • Negropolis

    Speaking of Yahoo!News as one of the remaining users of Yahoo as my primary search browser, what in the hell has happened to their news aggregate in the past few months? They used to have rather innocuous political commentary. Now, they are aggregating far-right commentary. Is this the new CEO's doing, or did it happen before her hiring?

    • WhatTheHeck

      I noticed that. They have become the FoxNews of the Infortainment Intertubes. Awful, to say the least.

    • HogeyeGrex

      It has really been pissing me off. I've been yahoo for my webmail for ages, and don't really want to change, but damn.

  • Negropolis

    Needz moar "Arbeit macht frei" in the foreground, and burning crosses…you know, for Methodism and freedumbz and such as.

  • Hahahaha. Tried that the first time I ran away from home. Didn't work worth shit.

  • Negropolis

    I hope she wears her ballot dress, again…

  • tessiee

    "Currently, 95% of all blacks vote Democrat, and yet what do they have to show for it? 25% of blacks suffer from poverty conditions. 16% of blacks are unemployed and 30% of all abortions are black babies. Also, a majority of our inmates are Black Americans."

    One time, I brought a baloney sangwich for lunch, and on my way to work, the bus got in an accident. Let THAT be a lesson to ya!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      That's some serious Ohioan Repug logic you got there.

  • subsum

    Dude looks like Rip Torn or James Lipton. Take your pick.

    • Negropolis

      I prefer Lipton. They make the very best Muthafuckin' Ice Tea.

      • sullivanst

        My nominee for comment of the day.

  • tessiee

    At least this time he didn't give everybody in the picture a Mel Brooks schnozz.

  • bearperney

    Back in 2001, I had a "flame job" put on my PT Cruiser that looked a lot like that torch flame.

  • fartknocker

    Has McNaughton been following our friends from Brazil because I would suspect one would need to drink Brazilian sugar cane based liquor to come up with something that would preview on <a href="” target=”_blank”>

  • CthuNHu

    Yeah, that's about my skill level, too.

  • BloviateMe

    Just a gut feeling, but I feel that at some point McNaughton is going to throw together a painting with a likeness of Muhammed on it, and the situation will then pretty much resolve itself.

    • sullivanst


      • BloviateMe

        Man, I hope like hell some wiseguy doesn't paint aforementioned picture and sign McNaughton's name to it.

        That would be wrong.

  • Black Americans are not "the majority of our inmates", either, but who's checking?

    • Kinda like the average welfare queen in Illinois is not DeCharlene from Chicago's south side, but Twyla in her single-wide 30 miles outside of Cairo. But hey Chet, about 20 percent of our fellow Americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, and 46% believe we bipeds were created in our present form by god, along with this big rock we call Earth, within the last 10,000 years. 21st Century mythology is alive and well.

    • Negropolis

      We will not be dictated by fact-checkers!

  • Everywhere I turn, the finger points at me.
    You'll never understand, I'm in misery.
    'Cause baby without you I have no one
    Oh, my sweet darling what have I done

    And I don't want to live this life
    And I don't want to live this life
    And I don't want to live this life Anymore

    four more fucking days

  • Cool, I hadn't seen any publicity stills from Django.

    • that's for sure how i'm spending my holidays.

  • sullivanst

    The point, of course, being that you need this painting in your salon immediately. To think otherwise would be… slavery?

    Yes indeed, there's nothing more freeing than being told by some old rich white guy what you must think.

  • I don't get it. What's the painting supposed to be about?

    I wish I hadn't blown off Art History freshman year.

    • bearperney

      If you only knew! Go back and audit Art History brother, you will not regret it. As a business student I took art history as a "easy 3" and was surprised that I loved it. I only have two books that have been worthwhile to keep from college, one is Art History and the other is Statistics.

  • Negropolis

    Question is the NEA still a thing, or did we kill that off in our last two-minute hate? 'Cause this man would have been offered an NEA grant for his work during the previous administration.

    • sullivanst

      And the irony would've been worthy of a goldy medal.

  • ElPinche

    Adelson sheep tries to vote twice, feds throw her ass in jail:

    Where's James O'Keefe? Why isn't he on this?

  • BloviateMe

    WTF? Shit's getting real? I had no idea Fox News was allowed to have actual progressives.

    • sullivanst

      Wasn't Sally Kohn also the one that wrote the piece on Faux Noose about how Paulie Ryan's entire convention speech was nothing but lies?

      I guess she's the new Alan Colmes. "What are you saying, of course we're balanced, we have Sally Kohn"

  • Jus_Wonderin

    That is so beautiful.

    I printed it out on my dot matrix printer. Used some Elmers to glue it to an old piece of cardboard that I saved from my Fruit of the Loom's three pack. Then I "framed" it with a bunch of old duct tape I was hoarding (along with that fun, fun bubble wrap and bread ties) and then used a pink ribbon to hang it from the "Have a Nice Day" smiley face that is prominent on my Kelvinator.

    I can now visit this each time I tramp to the freezer/fridge where I crunch down a crumby, brown handfull of Cool Ranch Doritos appropriately chased with a shot of ice cold Skol Vodka.

    And, except for the Docent that won't let me get to close, or, heaven forbid, touch it….life is good. Time for breakfast; where is my fucking lighter?

  • MrsConclusion

    I know a lot about art, but I don't know what I like. This is crap. HTH.

  • McNaughton needs to open a few window in his studio, I'm thinking that the paint fumes have fucked up his mind.

    • sullivanst

      He should probably stop using lead based finger paints, too.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Meanwhile, in the Dark Ages:

  • ttommyunger

    Gee, I'd love to have one of these to hang in my crapper, but I devote 90% of my income to women and booze; the rest I just blow.

  • Ducksworthy

    Stalin freed the slaves? Uh, OK.

  • azeyote

    that fool in the painting better put out that torch it looks like them honkies are comin to finish the job

  • rickmaci

    You know who else was a right wing ideologue and hack artist with less talent than the average house painter?

  • voodooeconomics

    was he the one that place Jesus "The savior For People that abide" Christ, next to the framers of the constitution.
    He seems to be a huge penis..

  • voodooeconomics

    "Someone torched the skies..It wasn't us, no one knows who shot first. We are just copper top battery now"

  • carlgt1

    this eerily ties in to Ann Coulter's incomprehensible new book on being black – written by the whitest woman in America…..

  • DahBoner

    No, no, no. You're interpreting this painting all wrong.

    The Black "slave" represents the Tea Party. And the torch fire represents "cleansing".

    And the Tea Party will burn down America, like an arsonist who thinks that by destroying something, you are "saving it" from falling into the "wrong hands", ie. Majoirty non-white America.

  • Amanwithnoplan

    The torches need more pitchforks, because the peasants are revolting.

  • Demographics paint the facts in interesting ways! According to 2010 Census Data, African Americans currently have more than double the rate of being President Of The United States that European Americans do: .0025 per 100,000 living Blacks have been our Commander-In-Chief, compared to only .0012 per 100,000 living Whites. With such stunning failure at rates of attaining the Presidency, one can understand why some White folks are so butthurt about Nobama Socialist Slavery.

  • grayforester

    Was the escaped slave one of the slaves that built the White House – you know, while enslaved? In slavery?

  • PugglesRule

    I work 2 blocks from tomorrow's rally. I have to figure out how to get through the crush of people so I can attend.Oops, where's my damn ticket??

  • Reeseman

    Apparently McNaughton's freedom-loving ethos leads to not paying his bills, because communists. has been parked by Google. Conspiracy!

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