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Don’t, by any means, click on the above video of Steve Doocy explainering that Mitt Romney saved the auto industry. We cannot be held responsible if you ignore our warnings and your eyeballs fall out of your head and roll back under your desk and get covered with all the dust bunnies collecting on your tangled mass of printer cords. (If we knew how to make a googly-eye emoticon, we would put it here.)

Especially don’t watch if you don’t want to see an unballed former Democratic Ohio governor, Ted Strickland, completely fail to address the utter nonsense that is Steve Doocy’s claiming Obama copied Romney’s idea of “saving the auto industry” with his “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” op-ed.

Instead of explainering that Obama saved the auto industry by copying Miffed Romney, Doocy should have explainered that in fact the auto industry is now dead. It would have been more believable.


  • AlterNewt

    You lost me at "Steve Doocy explains…"

    • JustPixelz

      Agreed. I understand each individual word. But together it's incomprehensible.

      • AlterNewt

        Yes. And I'm told that people watch this program, but that can't be true.

  • BadKitty904

    And speaking of "facts" vs. "fantasy"…

  • DerrickWildcat

    Everybody knows Brian Kilmeade is the smart one.

    • Andrew Drinker

      And Gretchen Carlson is the independent because she sits in the middle.


    • Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      That explains the hours they spend visibly floundering for a thought betwixt the three of them.

  • gullywompr

    Mitt retroactively saved Ohio from unemployment.

    • IndianaKevin

      so he could sell it to China.

    • boskolives

      Proof that irony exists!

      Ohio will not save Mitt from unemployment, retroactively or otherwise.

  • johnnymeatworth

    You know, in a way Hitler was the biggest victim of the Nazi rise to power….

    • Oblios_Cap

      Just look at what happened on the poor fellow's honeymoon!

    • StillGoinGreen

      Or the way he saved the Jews from obesity.

      • WIDTAP

        Hey, you never heard of Jews dying from diabetes during the Holocaust, did you?

        Sorry, too soon?

  • Barbara_

    I'm sure that President Obama gets all of his ideas from reading op/eds and from the horoscope predictions.

    • Andrew Drinker

      He stole the horoscope thing from Reagan.

      • MosesInvests

        There you go again.

    • bikerlaureate

      The Quran has to be worked in there somewhere.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Is this their 5 minute break from Benghazi?

    • Callyson

      Now they've moved on to "Utility workers were kicked out of New Jersey because they were non-union." Assholes.

      • Serolf_Divad

        Looks like Christ Christie's got some eeeehsplainin' to do!

    • Serolf_Divad

      Why is the lamestream media ignoring Obama's 9/11?

  • noodlesalad

    Wait, so is the auto industry saved? I thought it all just got moved to China by Mussolini? So confused.

    • IndianaKevin

      I blame the fright-wing media.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Heh. I remember when words had meanings.

    My chickens talked more sense to me when I dumped last night's leftovers in their pen this morning than Steve Douchey has talked in his entire journamalism career.

  • SoBeach

    I'm glad Obama took Romney's advice on bin Laden too.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Thanks a lot for the dirty eyes.

  • coolhandnuke

    Douchey is unsafe at any speak.

  • Mumbletypeg
    • smokefilledroommate

      Sheesh, I forgot all about Wonkbot!

      • savethispatient


    • njstore


  • pukebot

    thats right deuce. mitt wanted the invisible hand to shove the auto industry into it's mouth, shit it out and grow flowers on the shit. sweet freedom flowers. yay!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Unemployed Man Saves Multi-Billion Dollar Corporation From Bankruptcy"

    "Aw shucks, it was nothin'."

  • calliecallie

    Ohio Attorney General: "I dont think there's an area where the Obama campaign has mislead more than on this issue…"

    WTF? sputter, gasp, I can't…I…fuck…fuck..fuck! Morans, also.

    • eggsacklywright

      Indeed. The output of bullshittery is incredible. If they're trying to drive us insane, I fear it may be working. Unless that rumor about Ailes and Douchey being gay, child-molesting, extortionists pans out…

      • cousinitt

        It's not a rumor. I heard it also too. If it weren't true, why is Ailes keeping Doody on the air? You know, right?

        • HogeyeGrex

          I read it on the internet, so it must be true.

          • MosesInvests

            It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Andrew Drinker

      Oh, you mean Attorney General DeWine? As in, the guy who was saying 3 hours before he got booted the FUCK out of the Senate in 2006 that his internal polls showed him winning handily? That guy?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If only he could go back in time and save American Motors. I loved the AMX I had when I was a youngster.

    • Disassembly

      He'd need a DeLorean.

      • Andrew Drinker

        My favorite part of the DeLorean was the handy compartment for stowing cocaine!

        • Disassembly

          He was set up!

    • Terry

      My sister and I drove an AMC Matador, candy apple red with black vinyl roof, as our beater car in college. It was almost indestructible (not saying how we knew that) AND you could tailgate out of the trunk with ease. We'd set a keg in there in a washtub full of ice and the party was ON. The only issue was once when we were ready to go into the game, we'd have to tilt the keg over to close the truck. The tap on top made is just a bit too tall.

      Good times.

    • SoBeach

      The AMC Matador was the ugliest car ever made…

      …until the Pontiac Aztec

      • Mittaplasia

        ..which put an 84-year old car manufacturer out of business. That's just FUGLY.

      • calliecallie

        Don't tell that to Mr. White.

      • BoroPrimorac

        Why did Detroit go tits up again? It couldn't have been because the American automakers kept on churning out shit for decades. It must have been because of them damn unions made Detroit less competitive.

    • Mittaplasia

      Or the Rambler with the seats that went "all the way" back…sweet.

    • EatsBabyDingos

      Mitt Romney's Secret Service code name is "Javelin," which of course is the AMX without steroids.

    • fuflans

      my first car in the 90's was a very old pacer – two toned, beige + puke green.

      we stenciled 'wheels of satan' on it and drove it around ukranian village in chicago long before hipsters were invented.

  • Hammiepants

    They really do live in some through-the-looking-glass alternate reality universe. But it would be so much more fun if all the guys wore evil Spock beards and all the chicks were dressed like hooker Uhura, so we'd KNOW he were in a parallel Foxverse.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "all the guys wore evil Spock beards"

      You mean like hipsters?

      • SorosBot

        No, that's a decent-looking goatee; the hipsters now wear full beards, as if that's suddenly acceptable, many completely unkempt and scraggly. They look awful.

    • Indiepalin

      That would be a true balance of terror.

    • calliecallie

      You make me sorry Halloween is over, because those would be some badass costumes. Maybe next year.

    • SavageDrummer

      Evil Troy and Evil Abed…

  • Oblios_Cap

    We cannot be held responsible if you ignore our warnings and your eyeballs fall out of your head and roll back under your desk and get covered with all the dust bunnies collecting on your tangled mass of printer cords.

    Thanks for the warning. I didn't watch that twatwaffle and lost no time out of my life.

    • Tommy1733

      Band name. ("Twatwaffle")

  • BaldarTFlagass

    In related news, it has been revealed that Mitt Romney killed Bin Laden. As a member of Seal Team 6, not just sitting around in a conference room watching on television.

    • Ducksworthy

      And why wasn't Obama watching his magic television when Mitt's Mormon/Muslin terrorists killed the Libyan ambassador, who's name, like the 4,000 Iraq war dead, we have forgotten? Huh?

    • emmelemm

      Now that'd be an October surprise. (In November.)

    • HistoriCat

      I read last night that all the members of Seal Team 6 who had been on the raid were murdered because of Obama releasing their names, so either Romney wasn't a member or a he has been replaced by a robot double.

  • SorosBot

    A time-traveling Mitt Romney also gave FDR the plans he used to end the Great Depression and win World War II too.

    • Callyson

      Some troll on HuffPo actually tried to argue that we were still fighting WWII when FDR died, so he didn't actually end the war. Of course, this same troll also said that we elected FDR to three terms.

      It was delicious to be able to remind that hater that the nation elected him to *four* terms…

  • ManchuCandidate

    Rmoney Saves!!!*

    *saves has a slightly different meaning in wingnut land.

  • Disassembly

    Of course Mitt Romney saved the auto industry. That's why Bloomberg endorsed him.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Alternative viewing. 'Truckin' My Blues Away'.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba


    • FakaktaSouth

      Those look like googly boobies. That works also I suppose.

    • smokefilledroommate


    • Mittaplasia

      News flash: ( . ) ( . )

    • calliecallie

      Is that supposed to be your head exploding?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Close … steam coming out of the ears.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba


  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    ಠ_ಠ Try copying and pasting this.

  • Shypixel

    Try as you might, you will NEVER trick me into clicking through to watch Fox.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Listen, if we all had car elevators to fill with cars, just imagine how well the industry would be doing. Don't doubt FOX News. In a few days, they might be all we have.

  • FakaktaSouth

    If they wanna talk copying they should get get all jacked up about how PresO ACTUALLY copied Romneycare. Oh, riiiiiiiight. Shut up Steve, you're a fucking lying hack who I don't think even knows what the words your overlords tell you to say mean in the first place. Just stop.

    • Come here a minute

      They can't say Obama copied Romneycare because it's true — that just won't do.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear Doocy:

    At least when I put out a steaming pile of shit, I apologize profusely and offer a courtesy flush.

    The more you know.


  • FNMA

    Every time I look at Doocy, I wonder whether they've checked the water pipes at Fox News for lead.

    • Mittaplasia

      Do 'ya mean the pipes they use to smoke crack?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, Romney has been Obama's consigliere all along?

  • Goonemeritus

    Fox News may be veering into territory that could be perceived as advocacy.

    • Pithaughn

      Really? Looks to me like they are deep in the advocacy forest, where no one can see the trees for the forest, and falling trees are all Obama's fault.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Besides, ITS WHAT PLANTS CRAVE.

    • bikerlaureate

      That's a pretty serious accusation. After all, they have "News" right there in the name…

      • HistoriCat

        Plus they're Fair an Balanced!

    • slowhansolo

      Ha, thank you.

  • BarackMyWorld

    If Doocy said it, it must be true dumb.

  • TootsStansbury

    Who had the bright idea to go ahead and create a whole alternate reality? Who started this awful snowball of fuckedupedness? I would like to have words with this person.

    • BadKitty904

      If they can create an alternate education system, with charter schools, home-schooling, etc., why not press on to the logical conclusion and create an entire alternate reality?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I think it started under Dumbya. The people around him created an alternate reality, which the First Dope fell for, and ever since, the GOP has just gone further and further down the rabbit hole, rather than admit their role in furthering a world-scale clusterfuck.

  • smashedinhat

    I can remember how my dad told me to invest in a couple of suits so ppl would take me seriously. Some have obviously taken this advice too seriously.
    *scratches testicles through black "Star Wars" boxers.

  • freakishlywrong

    I'm jumping over "For fuck's sake" and going directly to Jesus H. Tittiefucking Christ. These people.

    • BadKitty904

      As Election Day closes in on 'em, they're *really* whistling past the graveyard…

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      For the smegging love of dingleberries, what load of hooey.

      • MosesInvests

        Malarkey, also, too.

    • Gleem McShineys

      This is a colossal load of stuff.

  • docterry6973

    Obama will win – unless GOP governors can steal the election. The GOP will go absolutely insane, and obstruct everything they can for the next two years. Then they will be destroyed in the 2014 midterm elections. Here in PA, 'teabagger' is already an insult that the teabagger Senate candidate denies. Another fit of obstructionism and brinkmanship will be the end of them.

    • calliecallie

      From your keyboard to God's email in basket.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Good luck getting past His spam filter. I mean, you can imagine.

  • Andrew Drinker

    Dear. Gov. Strickland,

    You were a great governor and I love your passion in standing up for the little guy, but WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON FOX NEWS?

    Mr. Andy Drinker
    Columbus, OH

    • Ducksworthy

      And why did you agree to be castrated before your appearance? Oh, its a requirement for all Demoncrats? Oh. OK then.

  • ChillBill

    The question is, Doochey: who is going to save Mitt on Tuesday?

    • Mittaplasia

      Tagg and the Ohio Voting Machines…it works as a scary band name, as well.

    • BadKitty904
    • smokefilledroommate

      'SuperDoocy' the Would-Be Election Fraudster! ('would-be' because ol' Deuce is too dumb to figure out how them votin' machines work let alone rig 'em).

  • weejee

    Click the clickie for Steve Doocy’s explainering? No thank you, no brown acid for me today.

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    They truly are some of the more vile individuals in the country. It's the problem with "meritocracy"… It usually just means that the biggest scumbags take the biggest piece of the pie, because no morals or scruples.

    Case in point: Fox and Friends.

    • Mittaplasia

      Fox and Fiends.


    • bobbert

      "Bullshitocracy". The biggest bullshitters rise to the top.

  • Pat_Pending

    Believing Steve Doocy is like believing that professional wrestling is a real sport.

    • weejee

      It's not??

  • rabritz

    talk about your parallel universe:

    'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'
    'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'
    'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master — that's all.'

  • CommieLibunatic

    For our Editrix's future reference, I always reserve o_O as an emote for such occasions as ocular trauma in response to acute terminal dumb.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Doocy needs a spinoff: Doocy Explains It All— a wealth of misinformation for five year olds.

  • boskolives

    I just pinched off a doozy of a Doocy ("Doody" to the Hebraics) this morning. Coincidence? I don't think so.

  • poorgradstudent

    We've now reached the point where you can say that FOX News' studios are literally located in Opposite Land.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Which everyone knows is located right next to Dumbfuckinstan.

    • bikerlaureate

      Let's start a serious conversation next week about giving them the contiguous block of red states.
      I'll sell plasma to contribute to the repatriation fund for non-"Real American" refugees…

  • nonbeliever7

    I know you warned me but Mitt would have warned me yesterday.

  • freakishlywrong

    This shit has 4 days to get worse. And it will. I'll be sobbing and saying "Bronco Bama" over and over again by Tuesday.

  • Guppy

    (If we knew how to make a googly-eye emoticon, we would put it here.)


    • HistoriCat

      You know, if you put that in parentheses you get … um, what was I talking about?


      • Guppy


  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dual slack jaw expressions from the two guests… priceless.

  • FlownOver

    Further evidence that Doocy's extended stay in Topeka resulted in some Westboro-Baptist-like effects on his mental faculties.

  • cousinitt

    Look, I think the FOX News guy has it right, it's very easy, even a libtard should be able to understand. So, let me 'splain to all y'all: The reason why jobs are being created and the economy is getting better is because Romney wrote an op-ed piece in a fishwrap. Now, the reason why the economy is terrible and jobs aren't being created is because of Obama's failed policies.


  • MissTaken

    I'm looking forward to the next installment of this series: "Doocy Explains How Babby Is Formed".

    Spoiler Alert! It involves Play-Doh

  • Ayn Rand Paul Tard

    First Miff cracked open the editorial, then he chopped down the cherry tree, then Obama something-something…what? WHAT?! I'm not here to defend Rmoemoney's success stories…GO AWAY!!! F@#K OFF!!!!1~!

  • Lucidamente1

    I thought that after

    Doocy had promised not to do stuff like this anymore.

  • imissopus

    Editrix seems to be on a "Post Only Videos That Will Make imissopus Want To Claw His Own Eardrums Out With a Mellon Baller" theme today. What gives?

  • Detesticle

    Romney came over to my house last night, tucked me in, and left me a tooth fairy sixpence under my pillow. He really is a selfless savior of men.

  • Antispandex

    This, along with Reaganomics, and The Bush Doctrine, is now destined for legendary Teapublican status. It won't be long until it is added to sacred Republican texts which proclaim that Reagan cut taxes, thereby increasing revenue, and that all other countries helped us find the W.M.D. in Iraq, because Bush was so beloved. History belongs not to the victors, but to the credulous.

  • fuflans

    yup, just going to keep listening to 'the ramones'. that's all i'm gonna do i tell ya.

    Staring at my goldfish bowl
    Popping phenobarbital
    Life is so beautiful I've gone mental
    Mental, mental

    lalalalalalalalala I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

  • cheetojeebus

    Do NOT try and rinse them off with Vodka. That shit stings!

  • goat_thrower

    I heard Steve Doocy saved his marriage by blowing two strangers in a parking lot.

  • Gleem McShineys

    "The General Motors of Detroitsbury were motoring their vintage wooden car industry through the large lake on July 4 weekend that year when, around sunset and about 300 yards from shore, the vessel began taking on water. Daniel Akerson attempted to dial 911 on his cell phone, only to lose the device in the water as the industry started sinking rapidly.

    That’s when Romney, who owns a home on the shore of the lake, and two of his sons jumped on jet skis and rode out to assist the industry, along with the family dog Vauxhall, struggling in the water."

  • LibrarianX

    My pre-existing migraine advises me not to click that video link. Self-preservation and all.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Reward of the uninvolved is a well known business principle. Lurch's compensation at Bain probably contains elements of this.

  • labman57

    If the RNC told the vacuous minds at F&F that Romney craps out golden eggs, they would believe it and make it a talking point during their broadcast.

  • Gleem McShineys

    "You can refute bad information from some people some of the time, but you can't refute bad information from all of the people, all of the time!"

    Fox News Motto

  • slowhansolo

    I know for a FACT these guys are just doing to see just how far they can ride it. And by "fact" I mean "that's what I believe."

  • ttommyunger

    Soon Colbert will announce another new verb in the political lexicon: "Doocey" – to bullshit unashamedly, continuously and without regard for obvious facts to the contrary.

  • mosjef

    My sources tell me Steve's middle name is Really.

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