AS I REMEMBER IT YOU'RE A MORON  12:50 pm November 2, 2012

Steve Doocy Explains: Mitt Romney Saved The Auto Industry!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Don’t, by any means, click on the above video of Steve Doocy explainering that Mitt Romney saved the auto industry. We cannot be held responsible if you ignore our warnings and your eyeballs fall out of your head and roll back under your desk and get covered with all the dust bunnies collecting on your tangled mass of printer cords. (If we knew how to make a googly-eye emoticon, we would put it here.)

Especially don’t watch if you don’t want to see an unballed former Democratic Ohio governor, Ted Strickland, completely fail to address the utter nonsense that is Steve Doocy’s claiming Obama copied Romney’s idea of “saving the auto industry” with his “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” op-ed.

Instead of explainering that Obama saved the auto industry by copying Miffed Romney, Doocy should have explainered that in fact the auto industry is now dead. It would have been more believable.

[MediaMatters]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 148 comments }

AlterNewt November 2, 2012 at 12:52 pm

You lost me at "Steve Doocy explains…"

JustPixelz November 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Agreed. I understand each individual word. But together it's incomprehensible.

AlterNewt November 2, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Yes. And I'm told that people watch this program, but that can't be true.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 12:53 pm

And speaking of "facts" vs. "fantasy"…

DerrickWildcat November 2, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Everybody knows Brian Kilmeade is the smart one.

Andrew Drinker November 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

And Gretchen Carlson is the independent because she sits in the middle.

:-O

Ayn Rand Paul Tard November 2, 2012 at 1:37 pm

That explains the hours they spend visibly floundering for a thought betwixt the three of them.

gullywompr November 2, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Mitt retroactively saved Ohio from unemployment.

IndianaKevin November 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

so he could sell it to China.

boskolives November 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Proof that irony exists!

Ohio will not save Mitt from unemployment, retroactively or otherwise.

johnnymeatworth November 2, 2012 at 12:55 pm

You know, in a way Hitler was the biggest victim of the Nazi rise to power….

Oblios_Cap November 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Just look at what happened on the poor fellow's honeymoon!

StillGoinGreen November 2, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Or the way he saved the Jews from obesity.

WIDTAP November 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Hey, you never heard of Jews dying from diabetes during the Holocaust, did you?

Sorry, too soon?

Barbara_ November 2, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I'm sure that President Obama gets all of his ideas from reading op/eds and from the horoscope predictions.

Andrew Drinker November 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

He stole the horoscope thing from Reagan.

MosesInvests November 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

There you go again.

bikerlaureate November 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

The Quran has to be worked in there somewhere.

sudsmckenzie November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Is this their 5 minute break from Benghazi?

Callyson November 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Now they've moved on to "Utility workers were kicked out of New Jersey because they were non-union." Assholes.

Serolf_Divad November 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Looks like Christ Christie's got some eeeehsplainin' to do!

Serolf_Divad November 2, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Why is the lamestream media ignoring Obama's 9/11?

noodlesalad November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Wait, so is the auto industry saved? I thought it all just got moved to China by Mussolini? So confused.

IndianaKevin November 2, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I blame the fright-wing media.

Lascauxcaveman November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Heh. I remember when words had meanings.

My chickens talked more sense to me when I dumped last night's leftovers in their pen this morning than Steve Douchey has talked in his entire journamalism career.

SoBeach November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

I'm glad Obama took Romney's advice on bin Laden too.

DerrickWildcat November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Thanks a lot for the dirty eyes.

coolhandnuke November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Douchey is unsafe at any speak.

Mumbletypeg November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

(If we knew how to make a googly-eye emoticon, we would put it here.)

Wonkbot had googly eyes. Wonkbot would know.

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Sheesh, I forgot all about Wonkbot!

savethispatient November 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm

NEVAR FORGET!

njstore November 2, 2012 at 2:26 pm

ISWYDT

pukebot November 2, 2012 at 12:56 pm

thats right deuce. mitt wanted the invisible hand to shove the auto industry into it's mouth, shit it out and grow flowers on the shit. sweet freedom flowers. yay!

BaldarTFlagass November 2, 2012 at 12:57 pm

"Unemployed Man Saves Multi-Billion Dollar Corporation From Bankruptcy"

"Aw shucks, it was nothin'."

calliecallie November 2, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Ohio Attorney General: "I dont think there's an area where the Obama campaign has mislead more than on this issue…"

WTF? sputter, gasp, I can't…I…fuck…fuck..fuck! Morans, also.

eggsacklywright November 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Indeed. The output of bullshittery is incredible. If they're trying to drive us insane, I fear it may be working. Unless that rumor about Ailes and Douchey being gay, child-molesting, extortionists pans out…

cousinitt November 2, 2012 at 1:27 pm

It's not a rumor. I heard it also too. If it weren't true, why is Ailes keeping Doody on the air? You know, right?

HogeyeGrex November 2, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I read it on the internet, so it must be true.

MosesInvests November 2, 2012 at 1:44 pm

It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Andrew Drinker November 2, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Oh, you mean Attorney General DeWine? As in, the guy who was saying 3 hours before he got booted the FUCK out of the Senate in 2006 that his internal polls showed him winning handily? That guy?

BaldarTFlagass November 2, 2012 at 12:58 pm

If only he could go back in time and save American Motors. I loved the AMX I had when I was a youngster.

Disassembly November 2, 2012 at 1:02 pm

He'd need a DeLorean.

Andrew Drinker November 2, 2012 at 1:22 pm

My favorite part of the DeLorean was the handy compartment for stowing cocaine!

Disassembly November 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

He was set up!

Terry November 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

My sister and I drove an AMC Matador, candy apple red with black vinyl roof, as our beater car in college. It was almost indestructible (not saying how we knew that) AND you could tailgate out of the trunk with ease. We'd set a keg in there in a washtub full of ice and the party was ON. The only issue was once when we were ready to go into the game, we'd have to tilt the keg over to close the truck. The tap on top made is just a bit too tall.

Good times.

SoBeach November 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

The AMC Matador was the ugliest car ever made…

…until the Pontiac Aztec

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

..which put an 84-year old car manufacturer out of business. That's just FUGLY.

calliecallie November 2, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Don't tell that to Mr. White.

BoroPrimorac November 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Why did Detroit go tits up again? It couldn't have been because the American automakers kept on churning out shit for decades. It must have been because of them damn unions made Detroit less competitive.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Or the Rambler with the seats that went "all the way" back…sweet.

EatsBabyDingos November 2, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Mitt Romney's Secret Service code name is "Javelin," which of course is the AMX without steroids.

fuflans November 2, 2012 at 1:55 pm

my first car in the 90's was a very old pacer – two toned, beige + puke green.

we stenciled 'wheels of satan' on it and drove it around ukranian village in chicago long before hipsters were invented.

Hammiepants November 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm

They really do live in some through-the-looking-glass alternate reality universe. But it would be so much more fun if all the guys wore evil Spock beards and all the chicks were dressed like hooker Uhura, so we'd KNOW he were in a parallel Foxverse.

BaldarTFlagass November 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm

"all the guys wore evil Spock beards"

You mean like hipsters?

SorosBot November 2, 2012 at 2:19 pm

No, that's a decent-looking goatee; the hipsters now wear full beards, as if that's suddenly acceptable, many completely unkempt and scraggly. They look awful.

Indiepalin November 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

That would be a true balance of terror.

calliecallie November 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

You make me sorry Halloween is over, because those would be some badass costumes. Maybe next year.

SavageDrummer November 3, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Evil Troy and Evil Abed…

Oblios_Cap November 2, 2012 at 12:59 pm

We cannot be held responsible if you ignore our warnings and your eyeballs fall out of your head and roll back under your desk and get covered with all the dust bunnies collecting on your tangled mass of printer cords.

Thanks for the warning. I didn't watch that twatwaffle and lost no time out of my life.

Tommy1733 November 2, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Band name. ("Twatwaffle")

BaldarTFlagass November 2, 2012 at 1:00 pm

In related news, it has been revealed that Mitt Romney killed Bin Laden. As a member of Seal Team 6, not just sitting around in a conference room watching on television.

Ducksworthy November 2, 2012 at 1:41 pm

And why wasn't Obama watching his magic television when Mitt's Mormon/Muslin terrorists killed the Libyan ambassador, who's name, like the 4,000 Iraq war dead, we have forgotten? Huh?

emmelemm November 2, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Now that'd be an October surprise. (In November.)

HistoriCat November 2, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I read last night that all the members of Seal Team 6 who had been on the raid were murdered because of Obama releasing their names, so either Romney wasn't a member or a he has been replaced by a robot double.

SorosBot November 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

A time-traveling Mitt Romney also gave FDR the plans he used to end the Great Depression and win World War II too.

Callyson November 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Some troll on HuffPo actually tried to argue that we were still fighting WWII when FDR died, so he didn't actually end the war. Of course, this same troll also said that we elected FDR to three terms.

It was delicious to be able to remind that hater that the nation elected him to *four* terms…

ManchuCandidate November 2, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Rmoney Saves!!!*

*saves has a slightly different meaning in wingnut land.

Disassembly November 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Of course Mitt Romney saved the auto industry. That's why Bloomberg endorsed him.

Blueb4sinrise November 2, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Alternative viewing. 'Truckin' My Blues Away'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJYvAVhSIMg

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

{>Ꙭ<}

FakaktaSouth November 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Those look like googly boobies. That works also I suppose.

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

(@_@)

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 1:26 pm

News flash: ( . ) ( . )

calliecallie November 2, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Is that supposed to be your head exploding?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Close … steam coming out of the ears.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 3, 2012 at 10:22 am

}⦿⦿{

BoatOfVelociraptors November 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

ಠ_ಠ Try copying and pasting this.

Shypixel November 2, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Try as you might, you will NEVER trick me into clicking through to watch Fox.

Lionel[redacted]Esq November 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Listen, if we all had car elevators to fill with cars, just imagine how well the industry would be doing. Don't doubt FOX News. In a few days, they might be all we have.

FakaktaSouth November 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

If they wanna talk copying they should get get all jacked up about how PresO ACTUALLY copied Romneycare. Oh, riiiiiiiight. Shut up Steve, you're a fucking lying hack who I don't think even knows what the words your overlords tell you to say mean in the first place. Just stop.

Come here a minute November 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

They can't say Obama copied Romneycare because it's true — that just won't do.

elviouslyqueer November 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Dear Doocy:

At least when I put out a steaming pile of shit, I apologize profusely and offer a courtesy flush.

The more you know.

EQ

FNMA November 2, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Every time I look at Doocy, I wonder whether they've checked the water pipes at Fox News for lead.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Do 'ya mean the pipes they use to smoke crack?

BaldarTFlagass November 2, 2012 at 1:11 pm

So, Romney has been Obama's consigliere all along?

Goonemeritus November 2, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Fox News may be veering into territory that could be perceived as advocacy.

Pithaughn November 2, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Really? Looks to me like they are deep in the advocacy forest, where no one can see the trees for the forest, and falling trees are all Obama's fault.

Gleem McShineys November 2, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Besides, ITS WHAT PLANTS CRAVE.

bikerlaureate November 2, 2012 at 2:06 pm

That's a pretty serious accusation. After all, they have "News" right there in the name…

HistoriCat November 2, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Plus they're Fair an Balanced!

slowhansolo November 3, 2012 at 12:13 am

Ha, thank you.

BarackMyWorld November 2, 2012 at 1:11 pm

If Doocy said it, it must be true dumb.

TootsStansbury November 2, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Who had the bright idea to go ahead and create a whole alternate reality? Who started this awful snowball of fuckedupedness? I would like to have words with this person.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

If they can create an alternate education system, with charter schools, home-schooling, etc., why not press on to the logical conclusion and create an entire alternate reality?

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I think it started under Dumbya. The people around him created an alternate reality, which the First Dope fell for, and ever since, the GOP has just gone further and further down the rabbit hole, rather than admit their role in furthering a world-scale clusterfuck.

smashedinhat November 2, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I can remember how my dad told me to invest in a couple of suits so ppl would take me seriously. Some have obviously taken this advice too seriously.
*scratches testicles through black "Star Wars" boxers.

freakishlywrong November 2, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I'm jumping over "For fuck's sake" and going directly to Jesus H. Tittiefucking Christ. These people.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 1:24 pm

As Election Day closes in on 'em, they're *really* whistling past the graveyard…

BoatOfVelociraptors November 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

For the smegging love of dingleberries, what load of hooey.

MosesInvests November 2, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Malarkey, also, too.

Gleem McShineys November 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

This is a colossal load of stuff.

docterry6973 November 2, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Obama will win – unless GOP governors can steal the election. The GOP will go absolutely insane, and obstruct everything they can for the next two years. Then they will be destroyed in the 2014 midterm elections. Here in PA, 'teabagger' is already an insult that the teabagger Senate candidate denies. Another fit of obstructionism and brinkmanship will be the end of them.

calliecallie November 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm

From your keyboard to God's email in basket.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Good luck getting past His spam filter. I mean, you can imagine.

Andrew Drinker November 2, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Dear. Gov. Strickland,

You were a great governor and I love your passion in standing up for the little guy, but WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON FOX NEWS?

Sincerely,
Mr. Andy Drinker
Columbus, OH

Ducksworthy November 2, 2012 at 1:43 pm

And why did you agree to be castrated before your appearance? Oh, its a requirement for all Demoncrats? Oh. OK then.

ChillBill November 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The question is, Doochey: who is going to save Mitt on Tuesday?

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Tagg and the Ohio Voting Machines…it works as a scary band name, as well.

BadKitty904 November 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm
smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 1:31 pm

'SuperDoocy' the Would-Be Election Fraudster! ('would-be' because ol' Deuce is too dumb to figure out how them votin' machines work let alone rig 'em).

weejee November 2, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Click the clickie for Steve Doocy’s explainering? No thank you, no brown acid for me today.

Tommmcatt_Again November 2, 2012 at 1:19 pm

They truly are some of the more vile individuals in the country. It's the problem with "meritocracy"… It usually just means that the biggest scumbags take the biggest piece of the pie, because no morals or scruples.

Case in point: Fox and Friends.

Mittaplasia November 2, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Fox and Fiends.

FIFY.

bobbert November 2, 2012 at 3:12 pm

"Bullshitocracy". The biggest bullshitters rise to the top.

Pat_Pending November 2, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Believing Steve Doocy is like believing that professional wrestling is a real sport.

weejee November 2, 2012 at 1:28 pm

It's not??

rabritz November 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

talk about your parallel universe:

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'
'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master — that's all.'

CommieLibunatic November 2, 2012 at 1:21 pm

For our Editrix's future reference, I always reserve o_O as an emote for such occasions as ocular trauma in response to acute terminal dumb.

smokefilledroommate November 2, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Doocy needs a spinoff: Doocy Explains It All– a wealth of misinformation for five year olds.

boskolives November 2, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I just pinched off a doozy of a Doocy ("Doody" to the Hebraics) this morning. Coincidence? I don't think so.

poorgradstudent November 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

We've now reached the point where you can say that FOX News' studios are literally located in Opposite Land.

Monsieur_Grumpe November 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Which everyone knows is located right next to Dumbfuckinstan.

bikerlaureate November 2, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Let's start a serious conversation next week about giving them the contiguous block of red states.
I'll sell plasma to contribute to the repatriation fund for non-"Real American" refugees…

nonbeliever7 November 2, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I know you warned me but Mitt would have warned me yesterday.

freakishlywrong November 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

This shit has 4 days to get worse. And it will. I'll be sobbing and saying "Bronco Bama" over and over again by Tuesday.

Guppy November 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

(If we knew how to make a googly-eye emoticon, we would put it here.)

@.@

HistoriCat November 2, 2012 at 2:47 pm

You know, if you put that in parentheses you get … um, what was I talking about?

(@.@)

Guppy November 2, 2012 at 5:17 pm

,,,^..^,,,

Monsieur_Grumpe November 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Dual slack jaw expressions from the two guests… priceless.

FlownOver November 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Further evidence that Doocy's extended stay in Topeka resulted in some Westboro-Baptist-like effects on his mental faculties.

cousinitt November 2, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Look, I think the FOX News guy has it right, it's very easy, even a libtard should be able to understand. So, let me 'splain to all y'all: The reason why jobs are being created and the economy is getting better is because Romney wrote an op-ed piece in a fishwrap. Now, the reason why the economy is terrible and jobs aren't being created is because of Obama's failed policies.

Capiche?

MissTaken November 2, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I'm looking forward to the next installment of this series: "Doocy Explains How Babby Is Formed".

Spoiler Alert! It involves Play-Doh

Ayn Rand Paul Tard November 2, 2012 at 1:41 pm

First Miff cracked open the editorial, then he chopped down the cherry tree, then Obama something-something…what? WHAT?! I'm not here to defend Rmoemoney's success stories…GO AWAY!!! F@#K OFF!!!!1~!

Lucidamente1 November 2, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I thought that after

http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Do

Doocy had promised not to do stuff like this anymore.

imissopus November 2, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Editrix seems to be on a "Post Only Videos That Will Make imissopus Want To Claw His Own Eardrums Out With a Mellon Baller" theme today. What gives?

Detesticle November 2, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Romney came over to my house last night, tucked me in, and left me a tooth fairy sixpence under my pillow. He really is a selfless savior of men.

Antispandex November 2, 2012 at 1:47 pm

This, along with Reaganomics, and The Bush Doctrine, is now destined for legendary Teapublican status. It won't be long until it is added to sacred Republican texts which proclaim that Reagan cut taxes, thereby increasing revenue, and that all other countries helped us find the W.M.D. in Iraq, because Bush was so beloved. History belongs not to the victors, but to the credulous.

fuflans November 2, 2012 at 2:05 pm

yup, just going to keep listening to 'the ramones'. that's all i'm gonna do i tell ya.

Staring at my goldfish bowl
Popping phenobarbital
Life is so beautiful I've gone mental
Mental, mental

lalalalalalalalala I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

cheetojeebus November 2, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Do NOT try and rinse them off with Vodka. That shit stings!

goat_thrower November 2, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I heard Steve Doocy saved his marriage by blowing two strangers in a parking lot.

Gleem McShineys November 2, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"The General Motors of Detroitsbury were motoring their vintage wooden car industry through the large lake on July 4 weekend that year when, around sunset and about 300 yards from shore, the vessel began taking on water. Daniel Akerson attempted to dial 911 on his cell phone, only to lose the device in the water as the industry started sinking rapidly.

That’s when Romney, who owns a home on the shore of the lake, and two of his sons jumped on jet skis and rode out to assist the industry, along with the family dog Vauxhall, struggling in the water."

LibrarianX November 2, 2012 at 3:07 pm

My pre-existing migraine advises me not to click that video link. Self-preservation and all.

Slim_Pickins November 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Reward of the uninvolved is a well known business principle. Lurch's compensation at Bain probably contains elements of this.

labman57 November 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

If the RNC told the vacuous minds at F&F that Romney craps out golden eggs, they would believe it and make it a talking point during their broadcast.

Gleem McShineys November 2, 2012 at 5:09 pm

"You can refute bad information from some people some of the time, but you can't refute bad information from all of the people, all of the time!"

Fox News Motto

slowhansolo November 3, 2012 at 12:15 am

I know for a FACT these guys are just doing to see just how far they can ride it. And by "fact" I mean "that's what I believe."

ttommyunger November 3, 2012 at 11:58 am

Soon Colbert will announce another new verb in the political lexicon: "Doocey" – to bullshit unashamedly, continuously and without regard for obvious facts to the contrary.

mosjef November 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm

My sources tell me Steve's middle name is Really.

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