Listen Jack, Mitt Romney Ain't Here To Talk About No Mormonism, See?
Why are we running this clip from 2007? Only because it is awesome. Gather round your iNook and watch in wonder as a murderously Miffed Romney gushes period blood all over this nice fellow, Jan Mikelson, a conservative radio host from WHO Iowa. They are talking about Miffed's stance on abortion and the Mormon Church, and Miffed is all "I didn't come here to talk about Mormon!" and "I'm totally pro-life but it's not because of Mormon" (it's because he wanted the GOP nomination, duh) and "I think I know my church better than you!" He is ranting and freaking out and seriously having a cow, man. But why wouldn't Ol' Miffed want to have a nice conversation? It could have been thoughtful, and interesting! Well, as Charlie P. Pierce at Esquire never tires of reminding us, Miffed simply does not care to be Questioned by The Help.
Now, we have been reading Jon Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven, and my, it is a doozy! The early Mormon Church was cold killin' wagon trains of Arkansans all the time, and generally being weirdo murdery liars. Lying for the Lord, in fact, was a matter of personal integrity! (As was robbing people blind before or after you killed them, didn't make no never mind.)
So we feel kind of racist for being all DAAAMN, MORMONS, but seriously: DAAAMN, MORMONS! Anyway, we think it'd be nice to see Miffed actually talk about the tenets of his faith, and what he believes -- like, calm and Charlie Rose-style -- instead of going batshit when his (REALLY BIZARRE) church is mentioned.
Oh, and when Miffed says that people in the Mormon church can feel rabidly about something (say, being pro-life) without trying to mess with other people's secular choices, he's lying for the Lord then too.
It just comes so easy to him, don't it?
I think there is something to the idea that he's changed his colors so many times, all of his supporters see him as just the right shade they want to see.
The strange part is that they wilfully look right past the usually-disqualifying issue of all of this crass pandering staring them right in the face, and somehow see what he's doing as a necessary evil. He has to hold differing opinions in order to appeal to people!
How they don't see that as a seriously troubling negative is pretty much a mystery. I'm gonna go with "but he's got white skin" as the reason they so easily can look past this ridiculously obvious problem.
Well done.