A lady voting, what is next?Hey remember the 2000 election, when Florida went to Bush by 538 votes after he got a bunch of rich douchebags to go fake a “riot” outside the Miami-Dade polling headquarters? Well turns out you can avoid all of that unpleasantness if you just change the vote tallies BEFORE the election! Why, just this week, revised tallies of Florida’s early voting results were posted and for some mysterious reason, over 500 votes disappeared. Surely it’s a coincidence that over a thousand votes disappeared from heavily black neighborhoods while white neighborhoods actually gained votes?

Broward is a Democratic stronghold that Barack Obama is expected to carry by a large margin. But initial early vote totals reported by the office of the Broward Supervisor of Elections changed on Sunday, in some cases dramatically, causing some to question the numbers.

An analysis of the unofficial totals by early voting location on the Broward Supervisor of Elections website from Saturday, compared to the tallies posted on Sunday, shows that in one location, the E. Pat Larkins Community Center, located on Martin Luther King Blvd. in Pompano Beach, the revised totals showed 1,003 fewer votes…Across the 17 Broward polling locations, 15 saw their vote totals revised, mostly by minute amounts of between 1 and 7 votes. But the three more significant changes, including the addition of 398 votes in Tamarac (a racially mixed community) and adding 99 votes to the totals from Pompano Beach City Hall, whose demographic is majority white.

The revisions mean that 536 fewer total votes were reported in Broward — a reduction from 28,330 votes to 27,794 votes. That could be significant in a close election in a state where the presidential contest was decided by just 538 votes in 2000.

For the purposes of critical analysis, the Grio (an NBC affiliate) has posted this handy chart showing where vote tallies have changed:

Predictably, some of the revised vote totals have been blamed on a “computer glitch,” which isn’t entirely impossible given that Diebold voter machines lost 10,000 votes in the Bronx earlier this year (but don’t worry,  Bronx is full of Poors.)

Other revised totals have been blamed on “transposed numbers” because someone initially posted a 1050 when it should have been a 1150.  Broward Count elections office will be looking into this post-haste, supervised by the ever-watchful Dr. Brenda Snipes, who, to her credit, was not “comfortable” with purging eligible voters from the rolls on the Governor’s say-so. So don’t worry! Surely we won’t screw up the presidential election twice in less than two decades…will we??

[The Grio]

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  • elviouslyqueer

    And so it begins.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      So, is it the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

      • TootsStansbury

        Our country. So it goes.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        That depends on the bpm you prefer your pumpkins to be smashed.

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        I didn't want to this but I must…Neo, every beginning has an ending…I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself

    • Biff

      And so it begins


    • Negropolis

      This is the end, my only friend…the end.

  • freakishlywrong

    Can't wait for the Bain Brothers Brigade.

  • zumpie

    Not just a lady voting, but a dusky hued one…..

    On the plus side, rumour has it both sides are lawyering up all over the freakin' place!

    • No rumour. Both sides have already announced their legal teams.

      • zumpie

        Yeah, Bamz's basis will be stuff like this. Mitty's will be "but it's our turn" and "look how much money I spent!"

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Mitty's will be "but it's our turn" and "look how much money I spent!

          As Scalia shrugs and says, "Well, I'll buy that," and Thomas nods silently, gravely in assent.

        • Romney's rallies have shrunk. Where once he could expect around 10,000 attendees, this week his figures have been dismal. 3,000 here, 5,000 there. Ryan's doing even worse. At what was billed as his "monster rally" in his home state, he turned out 600 attendees. President Obama's most recent rally attracted 36,000 attendees. The media keeps trying to spin this as "close," with Joke Line opining as to how the media is "confused." When you outdraw your opponent by 60 TIMES, that's not close, it's a blowout. But what happens after the votes are counted will be even more interesting.

          I really do not envy the President. He has these maroons to deal with even as the international population pressures and fiscal and weather systems are all blowing up around us. We live in interesting times.

          • Biff

            Wish I could've gone to Vegas to see Hopey today, but I got shit to do…

          • I'm going insane. If this election isn't over soon, I may have to chew my leg off to get away …

          • Biff

            I'm painting a shed I built this fall. Can't escape the politics though, got XM Left on the radio…

          • I'd paint a shed if I could stand up, goddammit. Oh, well. Doctor tomorrow. (shuffles off)

          • Biff

            I could've used some ground-level help today! Good luck tomorrow…

          • Sorry! I took a pill. Them Flexeril thangs are STRONG.

          • Biff

            I like the Baclofen, myself, but glad you found some relief!

          • mayor_quimby

            Biff, do you listen to Stand Up with Pete Dominick on XM POTUS? I love that show, in spite of the righties who are on there sometimes. It's just refreshing to hear partisan arguments without yelling. It has kept me sane when even NPR treats bullshit as 'reasoned argument' .

          • Biff

            I haven't yet, but now I will, thanks!

          • zumpie

            Early on we saw that kind of shit, too. Like Obama had an event that drew 5K and it was a failure, Mittens had one that attracted 500 and it was a made, rolicking success.

            Some idiot from the NYT is on Hardball babbling about how yeah, now the Prez has been "acting like a president, not a candidate..but is he too late for early voters in Ohio?" You mean those early voters who have been overwhelmingly supporting him, dumbass???

            Oh and hint: he's both the President AND a candidate.

            On the plus side, thanks for telling me how well attended his events are!

          • Yaknow? I just want to slap those schlubs unconscious. Give 'em the flat of my hand, as Dad would say. He's the fucking President, ya fucking bozos. Stop treating him like some Trayvon Martin in high school wearing a fucking hoodie.

          • zumpie

            1) Exactly

            2) Even if he were Trayvon Martin in a hoodie, they shouldn't treat anyone like that

          • tessiee

            "At what was billed as his "monster rally" in his home state, he turned out 600 attendees."

            Would that be the monster rally in Portland, Michigan, or the monster rally in Portland, Massachusetts?

            I'm being facetious, of course; they hate him in both states.

          • Actually, that was *Ryan's* rally in WI. In his own damn state, he couldn't get more than 600 ppl to show.

          • tessiee

            I was being facetious, Cute Stuff.
            There was a very well attended *Obama* rally in Waterfront Park, here in Portland, which got erroneously labeled as a Romney rally. I was referring to that.

          • Well, THEN! (squeezes you)

            I gotta unlax, kiddo. This election's got me leaping around screaming like the victim of an Anal Pear.

          • zumpie

            tessiee, I didn't know that you're in PDX, too!!!

      • "At starting point guard-ard-ard…for the Obamaniacs-acs-acs….Number 7-even…David. Boies. Boiessssssssss"

      • Negropolis

        Whe they built their teams, was it like the NBA draft? Because that would be awesome.

        • NBA is for basketball? Is that the same as volleyball?

    • RedneckMuslin

      Job creators!

  • ProgressiveInga

    Let's dust off the 2000 bumper sticker:
    "Bush: It Ain't Over 'Til Your Brother Counts the Votes!"

    • ..and Your Cousin Calls the Election for Fox News

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Vote Nader: Bush and Gore are the Same Thing"

    • Negropolis

      And your Brother's SoS Puts in Overtime to Change the Outcome.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      The Russian people, in the dead of a Russian winter, occupied Moscow Square over voting irregualities.
      Soft-bellied corn-syrup-fed Normals will accept anything. They were okay with Bush.
      Why not give Rmoney a shot?

  • Cretinous underhanded officials are reprehensible on two levels:
    For the votes that got away, and the fact this smarm is getting away with it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Crooked activities in South Florida? Say it ain't so!

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    You don't say. And in Florida, no less. Those scamps. Also, I believe this was Allen West's district that he scampered out of because the redrawn district was too Democratic to vote his crazy self back in there.

  • Negative ballots? Looks like Florida DRat voters are gonna get Gored again.

  • Glitches be racist.

    • HogeyeGrex

      More like 1007, amirite?

      • Or 2000.

      • Negropolis

        I got 1007 problems, and a glitch…is ALL of them, Katie.

  • Radiotherapy

    It's not like Governor Rick Scott would be complicit in a fraud or anything.

    • mayor_quimby

      He's implicit, right?

  • emmelemm

    in one location, the E. Pat Larkins Community Center, located on Martin Luther King Blvd. in Pompano Beach, the revised totals showed 1,003 fewer votes

    That tells you all you need to know.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr


    • It's the fault of the New Black Panther party?

      • emmelemm

        Well, to be fair, it's not Malcolm X Avenue.

      • Negropolis

        The New Black Panthers would never be caught walking MLK Boulevard. Now, Malcolm X Avenue is a whole other story.

        It's funny, in my city, MLK Blvd actually crosses Malcolm X Street. lol

    • BaldarTFlagass

      On a brighter note, I was very pleased to see that, during a recent visit to SW Illinois, when I crossed the Mississippi on I-64, the first exit for East St Louis will now take you to Barack Obama Boulevard. Awesome.

      • Terry

        I'm hoping that the good people of Northern Virginia see fit to rename the main road through Ronald Reagan National Airport (almost killed me to type that full name rather than just National) from Aviation Circle to Barack Obama Way. That would mean that Obama would run right through, and over even, Ronald Reagan.

        • Willardbot9000_V2.5

          I know…funnily enough, everytime I've journeyed to the East coast I've flowen to BWI to get to DC. One, Dulles is more expensive and two, Dulles and Reagan were both right wing douchenozzles. They should rename Reagan national as Bonzo National. Even addressing Reagan for my foreign policy course has been known to send bile into my mouth. Although, I did get to bash the writer of the Reagan piece for using "messianic, empty-headed, myopic hero worshipping" which felt damn good. But since I had to be SOMEWHAT objective I had to praise Reagan for arms control as a diplomatic strategy to befriend Gorbachev…

          • Terry

            BWI's full name is BWI Thurgood Marshall. I think we got the best of the honorific naming for sure.

      • Woo-WOOT!

      • Negropolis

        I've actually never given much thought to the things that will be named after him. It's something that gives me the warm-and-fuzzies just thinking about it.

    • MonkeyBiz

      Is there any city in American where Martin Luther King Blvd. isn't in the, shall we say "Economically Disadvantaged" part of town?

      • Shellwith2Ls

        My town, Wilmington, Delaware. It was skidrow (of course) when they renamed it MLK but it's now the entry point to our revitalized Riverfront area.

      • Yes. In one of the neighbouring cities, Martin Luther King, Jr. Way runs right through the heart of town and up into the expensive hills (athough it's named The Alameda at some point).

  • Dildeaux

    Funny how the legislation and the glitches never go our way. Seems kinda improbable…

  • RE the alt-text: a black lady, no less. My God. HAS ORVAL FAUBUS BEEN MADE AWARE THAT THIS IS HAPPENING?????

    • Cicada

      Upvote for the Faubus reference.

      • Yeah, I felt using George Wallace would be too easy, and I am no hack. I have standards for my snark.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Considering both the Button Gwinett and Faubus societies endorsed RMoney…I'd say their feelings have been made well known.

  • Indiepalin

    I blame it on the Bay Harbor Butcher.

    • proudgrampa

      Indeed. I thought his motives might have been political…

    • coolhandnuke

      Time to remove those "dark passengers" from the rolls.

    • hagajim

      See, I was thinking Ice Cream Truck Killer.

    • Y'ain't gonna get me this time, guys. I *watched* Dexter.

      (buffs nails on lapel, walks away whistling)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Fuck. Once more 'round the mulberry bush.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    1150 -> 1050 is not a transposition. That's losing 100 votes.

  • Callyson

    First they came for the Florida votes…


  • Bezoar

    I have no trouble accepting the idea that the Republicans would simply attempt flagrant theft of this, or any other, election. Known that since at least 1968. But now I'm coming to think it would actually be ridiculously easy for them to pull it off.

    • SmutBoffin

      Really! The reporter-based media will just go "This RAISES QUESTIONS about the integrity of blahblahblah", then the pundit-media will self-segregate into two camps denying and proclaiming the allegations, then the Supreme Court will just pick the winner, then people years down the road will wonder how we got into an unwinnable war with Iran.

  • Good gawd. Is there no end to this shit? Three separate instances of Democratic voter registrations being discovered in dumpsters in W. VA; Voters in inland CA counties finding their party registration flipped from Dem/Ind to Rep; FL voters told they can vote by phone (lie); OH reporting mail-in votes NOT received; WI, Romney training poll-watchers to demand photo ID (not required by law); AZ Latino voters given incorrect dates.

    Why are these blatant attempts to steal the vote NOT BEING PROSECUTED to the fullest extent of the law?

    I hope you have all verified your voting locations and laws, or (praise jeebus) maybe even voted. If you have not, please arrange to do so ASAP. Here are the telephone numbers that you will need, should you be harassed at the polls:

    US Atty's office, PA: 412-894-7516. Assistant U.S. Attorney Shaun Sweeney is Western Pennsylvania's district election officer.
    DoJ Civil Rights Division Voting Section in Washington can be reached at 1-800-253-3931 or 202-307-2767 or online

    • Either that or get out the bayonets to cut through this horseshit.

    • OzoneTom

      Taken together with the RNC and Romney association with Sproul I think that this all qualifies for RICO investigation.

      • I realize this is hardly the time or place to insist on one, but the American attention span has grown so short, I fear if we don't do something, it'll disappear down the memory hole,

    • Jimmyone

      I was found in a dumpster once….long ago…but I was already registered to vote….the rest of the story is long, sad, unworthy of telling…

      • No, you weren't. Nobody would throw away a nice person like you.

        Now, tell me the rest of that story.

        • Jimmyone

          I was born a poor white boy of Polish decent…into the middle of a freakin' Eyetalian neighborhood…sad enough?No? well…a polack kid was kinda like a punching bag when caught…anyway as we grew up around the goombahs, we ran errands and did favors…. ya know….neighborhood shit…I'd say it was around puberty time or sometime after five in the afternoon…I was beboppin' along minding my own business…when a couple of goombahs hollered something about my heritage and my mom…well…I never had enough ass nor enough wisdom to be called a wise ass…but the Polack could not be controlled… a double bird…a double crotch grab…and a "bafongol"…the beating wasn't that bad…but the sound of the dumpster lid closing was not cool…a friend from school had seen me get dumped and he helped dig me out…brought me to his house where his mom and his sister cleaned me up and gave me bus money to get home…my favorite part of this memory is…three days later I lost my virginity to his sister…this story is mostly true…there are some fuzzy spots… the most embarrassing parts were left out and the names were changed to protect the innocent………..

          • I'm so sorry. If I'd been there, I woulda kicked ALLA their asses for ya. (Hugs Jimmyone) The dirty little fuckers.

            On the *plus* side, you did get to lose your virginity, three days later. No mean feat, at that age!

      • tessiee

        Prommie? Is that you?

        • Jimmyone

          Alas…no…but thank you for the compliment…

    • this is why we need those black panthers back.

      • If it weren't for the fact that I am (a) very easily recognizable and (b) a gimp, I'd volunteer. Somebody clearly needs the shit shocked out of 'em, and soon.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I think Wonket is trying to supress the vote by depressing the voters. They're in on it! Wake up! etc.

    • Baaaaa humbug.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Aw buck up lil camper! How are you sweetie?

        • (growl, mutter)

          Eh. I was expecting a storm and instead of a lightshow, I got a mingy drizzle. And now there's Xmas music. I feel exceedingly curmudgeonly right now.

          And you, my dear Internet Spouse?

          • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

            I am well although my interwebz are glitchy and sketchy. Do not be curmudgeonly. Be happy and well. Failing that, there's always the Mayan apocalypse to look forward to!

          • Good advice! After all, I finally have Wonketz back (the servers seemed to be down all day yesterday; where's your server farm, BeccaLou, in HAITI?), and even RawStory is working, even if Twitter is in snail mode.

          • natl_[redacted]_cmdr



            [hugs some more]

          • Cho CHWEET!! As Salman Rushdie might have said.

            (Hugs you with the squeezes of squeezing)

          • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

            thank you sweetheart. i love your squeezings and am squeezing back + kisses.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    It happened behind closed doors, so it's okay.

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus. Haven't we already seen this movie???

    • Yeah, but this time they're giving free sample packs of Astro-Lube at the door to, uh,,, speed things up.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's like seeing West Side Story after watching Romeo and Juliet.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        GAAAH! How about a 'spoiler alert' next time, buddy?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Have you seen The Crying Game? The duck is really a goose!!!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Friggin Spartacus.

    • tessiee

      I can't say I much cared for it in 2000, and I liked it even less in 2004.

    • Negropolis

      Yes, but like all movies, these days, the mega-wealthy producers want a sequel.

  • more significant changes, including the addition of 398 votes in Tamarac and adding 99 votes to the totals from Pompano Beach City Hall, whose demographic is majority white.

    Flagrancy, meet Foul.

  • freakishlywrong

    Where oh where are all of our tri-cornered "grass roots patriots" protesting this shenangani?

    • cousinitt

      At the NASCAR track waiting for their latest hero to self-immolate.

    • LibertyLover

      Koch brothers have spent all of their "free busses and donut" money on Romney's election campaign.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Eh…probably helping ensure the scheme works, knowing that bunch of authoritarian follower, racist, bigoted pants pissers.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Those votes were shipped off to the Caymans.

  • Lucidamente1

    In fairness, Florida election officials are just trying to cure a bad case of the blahs.

  • Indiepalin

    And it's no coincidence that the total number of votes under suspicion equals 420.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, it *IS* Florida, maaan…

    • Limbaugh's weight?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Broward Count elections office will be looking into this post-haste, supervised by the ever-watchful Dr. Brenda Snipes

    A real-life Snipes hunt!

  • gullywompr


  • freakishlywrong

    I happen to work in a polling place, Tuesday should be really interesting, if not stabby. With votes.

    • You got enough dosh for bail munnies?

  • nounverb911

    "Math is hard".
    –Katherine Harris

  • Forget it, Jake, it's Broward.

    • emmelemm


  • Jews for Buchanan approves these revised numbers.

  • MacRaith

    You know what the scary part is? Many conservatives I know are perfectly OK with the election being stolen, as long as it's the GOP that steals it. They don't give a damn about democracy – in fact, they treat the very idea with contempt. Sure, in public they'll go on and on about Obama stealing the election, but in private they're perfectly willing to admit that it's their side doing the stealing. They just don't see anything wrong with that.

    This way lies fascism. And I wish I was being sarcastic, but I'm not. Not this time.

    • It's hard to love democracy when you sincerely don't believe all people are equal.

    • T3rbo

      Uh, fascism creates jobs. Duh.

      • emmelemm

        And the trains run ON TIME, thankyouverymuch.

        • Mom used to say that. To our Jewish friends. "You might not like Mr. Hitler, but the trains ran on TIME!" And wondered why we never invited them over again.

    • VodkaGoGo

      They see any democrat elected to office as illegitimate, no matter how many fucking votes they got because when it comes down to it, they don't believe democrats count as Americans and they say as much every fucking day. They really do hate democracy and love authoritarianism. Everything they say about liberals is either a projection of what their guys are already doing or what they want their guys to be doing shortly.

  • BadKitty904

    Yah, funny how that works…

  • royhobbson

    It's the 3/5ths Vote Compromise all over again – but now with 100% less "compromise," 100% more "computer glitches!"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Cheaters never prosper.
    Well, sometimes.

  • zumpie

    The stupidest part? Even Nate Silver thinks Mittens would carry Florida fair and square. But I guess why truly win when you can cheat, right?

    • Memo from RNC head in FL to his minions indicates that Obama is running ahead 2-1 there. I think TPM might have the story. FL papers probly carrying it too. Or see The Hill.

  • Arkoday

    This whole fucking thing needs moar UN monitoring.

    • Caelan Aegana

      I can't wait until a Floridian (they seem to be really good at this) shoots a UN monitor and Europe declares war on us. They will murder us all with universal healthcare and public transit, don'tchaknow.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Cheat to win.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Hey where'd ya go? I'll look crazy just talking to myself!

      • gullywompr

        Ya know, you really do.

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Yeah, "look" crazy…

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          The kitteh set me up!

          • BadKitty904

            No, no, no! I just realized that my comment was so obvious that I'd look like (even more of) a clueless jackass if I left it up. So I deleted it, in embarrassment… :0/

          • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

            No worries, Kitteh. I found it all rather amusing.

  • BadKitty904

    I'm not sure us sitting around and bitching is going to fix this. Is there anything we can *do*?

    • OneDollarJuana

      How about them "Second Amendment Remedies" the gundamentalists are always going on about?

      • MosesInvests

        I am so stealing "gundamentalists".

    • gullywompr

      We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part, and we're just the guys to do it.

    • MosesInvests

      Nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

    • Yes. If you know any lawyers, paralegals, etc. who are willing to pitch in, have them contact the OFA. Meanwhile, VOTE IN HUGE NUMBERS. Do everything you can to get people to the polls, esp. in the swing states. Obama has a lead in all of them at this point, but voters are fickle. Tell everyone you know to go to the polls in GROUPS, and have a designated cameraperson with a cell/camera to record any attempted harrassment. Contact the DoJ immediately to report such harrassment. Take the telephone numbers of those entities to the poll with you. The FBI has people on standby to deal with complaints.

      • BadKitty904

        Thank you. That was the kind of answer I was looking for.

        My question was sincere and I prolly should've labeled it as such. I've only ever voted in one presidential election before and I'm truly not sure what the procedure is for combating such unAmerican douchery. Thanks again.

        Is there some way to prevent the electronic treachery, though? The behind-the-scenes, after-voting stuff?

        • The BradBlog is reporting on it, there's a groundswell effort going on to ensure that the DoJ investigates. Meanwhile, Anonymous is monitoring the elections and has already warned Karl Rove that if he attempts to steal it, they will know and will turn over evidence to the DoJ that will put him away. I don't know how much faith to put in that, but Anonymous has been remarkably effective at shutting down pedo rings, so I'm hoping for the best. Will taking a screen capture of your vote help? It might.

          Unlike Gore, Obama is prepared. For pretty much everything. He's a fighter, thank jeebus.

          • BadKitty904

            Again, thank you. I heard about the Anonymous thing – I'm not sure warning your enemy about your battle plan is the best of tactical maneuvers – they'll simply work harder to conceal their treachery. But I do agree that having these greedy, amoral, freedom-hating GOP shitheads aware that they're being watched helps.

            They've gotten away with it so far because they've done it on the DL – the more people who are aware of their douchery, the better chance of catching 'em at it.

          • Trinket

            Thank you for this. I barely even got started hyperventilating and you calmed me right down. No snark.

          • Happy to hear that, Trinket, and here's a welcoming hug! (Hugs Trinket)

      • is the dnc or ofa organizing anything does anyone know? i'd trek out to tammy duckworth's district (i voted way long ago in my ex rahm / ex blago district).

  • It's the blahs own fault, if they never got the vote none of them would be missing now, would they? Self inflicted wounds it seems…

    • It turns my stomach to think about how many people in Broward County would agree with that statement.

  • zumpie

    Oh, also, too, also: weren;t just an assload of mysteriously missing ballots (found in someone's car trunk or something) part of why it took until like JULY to determine who won the MN senate race in 2008?

    On the plus side, it appears that Bamz doesn't require Florida to hit 270, so unless this happens all over, which, well maybe….

    • freakishlywrong

      Well, how ELSE do you deny a clear majority to Dems unless you fuck with election results? Also, bring this up every time the trope of "Obama had the Senate and the House for 2 years! and didn't fix all the problems the Refucks left behind" bullshit.

  • lulzmonger

    Begun, the ratfuckery has.

  • magic_titty

    Maybe the black votes are only being counted at 3/5ths?

  • CrunchyKnee

    One of these days people are going to wake up to the corruption all around them and… ah fuck it, who am I kidding? It's a good thing that I keep a flask of "medicinal" whisky in my desk drawer.

    • People are waking up. The turnout has been bigger than 2008 everywhere so far, and it seems to be running well ahead for Obama. Nate Silver just bet Joe Scarborough $1,000 to the Red Cross that Obama wins on Tuesday.

      NEVER give up! Didja vote? If so, here's yer gold medal, if not, getcher ass out there and DO IT NOW.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    God, just when I was feeling optimistic again. Someone say something to make me feel good about Tuesday again, please…..I can't take another George W Bush …I can't…seriously

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I honestly think this guy would be worse than Bush II.

      • emmelemm

        I believe that's called "not helping".

      • cousinitt

        Totes worser. Romney has a brain. Well, many brains…

    • larrykat


    • Relax, man.

      We got this. Just make sure you get out and vote and get your friends out to vote.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Yeah! What you said! Also glad to see Sandy didn't sandblast your snarker off.

    • Right now TalkingPointsMemo's swing state poll calculator has President Obama ahead in Ohio, Virginia, Colorado, Pennsylvania, Iowa, Nevada, Wisconsin, New Mexico, Michigan and New Hampshire. Romney is leading only in Florida and North Carolina.

      And even with Romney winning Florida — which could easily happen even under completely legitimate circumstances — they have Obama at 285 electoral votes. So come in off the ledge — get out and vote and things will be okay.

      • Nopantsmcgee

        I know…but if there's a vote -stealin' afoot it's all a fantasy.

        But, no, I feel a little better now. You Wonkette Smart asses truly do help .

        • bikerlaureate

          The more votes we get out, the harder the scumbuckets have to work to steal the show.

    • Keep feeling optimistic. Romney wouldn't be flailing like this if he was confident of winning. Nate Silver says the numbers now give POTUS a 79% chance of winning, and he's running over 50% in state polls.

      Didja vote?

  • larrykat

    We need 12th Amendment remedies.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Assume democracy dead.

    • BumbleKid

      This gives me a sad :(

    • emmelemm

      Now there is an excellent use of memeage.

    • HistoriCat

      That is beautiful in a tragic way. Well done.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    It's always amazing how these "glitches" never seem to occur in say, Orange County, CA or Darien, CT.

  • "Surely we won’t screw up the presidential election twice in less than two decades…will we??"

    Yes We Can™.

  • comrad_darkness

    The democracy is dead! Long live the democracy!

  • freakishlywrong

    Thank Jeebus we have an impartial media that will be all over this shit. (Fuck us).

  • SmutBoffin


    • She NEVER shares. (sotto voce) bitch.

      Ohai, BeccaLou, is that YOU? MY, don't you look nice today. (sidles out of room)

  • prommie

    Romney said yesterday that on November 7 the country is all gonna come together (and preusmably vote). The news slut on the station I was watching on was visibly disturbed by this and made a big deal of saying "let there be no confusion, election day is the 6th."

    Hi, ya'll! Water came to within 3 inches of my floor, ruined all the utilities and ductwork under the house, one totalled car, one sunken boat, 48 hours with no power, 48 hours locked in my blockaded community by police roadblocks and cops saying if I left, I could not come back, but now, well, everything is all, well, not fine. Everything is fucking destroyed. The town I grew up in, Point Pleasant Beach, is fucked, my community now, fucked, everyplace on the prommie-fakakta tour of the shore just a month ago, fucked.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Ahem, and yet, you are so much better off than so, so many, right? RIGHT? Got gas in 5 minutes, now I presume you have ice? Come on now, be patient, be happy – it's beautiful in Alabama-Heaven today (I am Cindy McCain, catch up). Smile and enjoy your electricity – I know you can do it!

      • prommie

        I am lucky, I am the luckiest man alive, thanks to you.

      • Hello, beautiful! May I be the millionth to offer up my congratulations?

        Wut? It's not like y'all told me nuthin.

        • prommie

          I tried to! I am still in crying it from the rooftops mode! Calloo, calay!

          • Slut. You crept into her knickers while the rest of us were still fapping.

    • This is gonna be cold comfort I'm sure but there is strange assuagement of worry for me to hear you saying what lots of us were imagining.
      Notwithstanding I am a glutton for stories of suffering and enough peeps here have withstood their share so be assured you are in good company, friend. Let it all out. There is no other window on the world like the one you're looking through now.
      I'm glad to have a glimpse if it helps take the edge off some of the tedium.

      • prommie

        I have lost nothing I hadn't already cast aside and moved on from. That may sound strange but its true, I have been for some time just marking time and waiting to change this life I have been living anyway. Its depressing to see the horible damage so many others have suffered. Its sad very sad to see places that are so important in all the memories of my life so destroyed. Its sad even that the places I did just show to Fakakta just days ago, many of those places are now gone, not places anymore. But mostly sad for the others who really are so much worse off than me.

    • gullywompr

      But is your lighthouse still standing nudge wink?

      • prommie

        As strongly erect as ever!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Aside from that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

      Seriously, sorry to hear about your shit sandwich.

      • prommie

        Its OK. It is. Surreal and strange, I am fine, nothing which matters to me was lost, its sad for those who lost so much more, though. People were walking down my street today with suitcases and even wheelbarrows, refugees, honest to god refugees in the fucking USA. This is what post-Reagan movement conservatism has done to oulr country. I mean this. They aren't gonna drown it in a bathtub, they've almost succeeded in drowning it in a couple of hurricanes.

    • Quitcher bitching, I just found out you and Fakakta are a COUPLE! Of boinkers!

      OK, so I'm a bit slow with that "people" shit. But very happy for ya! (Squeezes you mercilessly) You lucky dog.

      • prommie

        I truly am, so so so lucky.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Man, if I had known that Wonkette was a hookup site, I would have chosen a sexier avatar.

        • HistoriCat

          I'm starting to think Rebecca may be on to something with this Wonkette personals section …

        • ??! I think your av is *tremendously* sexy.

          Of course, my tastes *are* a bit outre, I guess.

    • emmelemm

      Sorry to hear about that. At least, though, you have some internet access and the warm glow of Wonkers. And you survived. It may not be much, but in its way, it's plenty.

    • Glad to see you online again, Prommie! I was going to inquire about you, but didn't want to busybody. You are alive, the most important thing, but the destruction of all that other stuff really sucks.

    • tessiee

      Dang, man.
      We used to go to Seaside Heights every summer.
      You're practically my neighbor.

  • I'm sorry, but I refuse to read or post to any depressing voter suppression/fraud/rat fucking stories unless they are accompany by cute pictures of ponies to make me feel better.

    • Will you accept cute pictures of cats, you lucky dog, you?

    • emmelemm

      I gotcher PONY right here.

  • DCBloom

    This is my hometown. My grown kids still live there. Back in 2000, my daughter lived in a predominantly black neighborhood. You would not believe the ratfuckery (stealing that lultzmonger!)

    They had weird road construction detours so that you had a hell of a time trying to find the polling place, and then when you got there, they told you to go somewhere else. Took my daughter all day to vote.

    This whole thing makes me ill

  • CommieDad

    As a former computer programmer, I have to ask, WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE COMPUTER "GLITCHES" on election machines???? Test. Test. More Test. Verify. Verify. Third party test. Public test. This is the most important part of our democracy, for fuck's sake. Campaigns and the public should be allowed to review the full source code of all parts of a voting machine up to the day of the election, and have the code signed and compared after the election on all voting machines.

    • gullywompr

      Pfft! Works on my machine.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Your unit tests are weak, old man.

        • gullywompr

          They look green to me. Ship it.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      _Click here to have updates load automatically.

    • Dear Sir, that made way too much sense. You're excused.

    • emmelemm

      I dunno, as a current computer programmer, I must say: we let shit go all the time that's full of fucking bugs. Because we're a small company and our testing department leaves a lot to be desired.

      • We outsourced QA to Russia. They don't work in the summer. A fact of which we were not aware until *after* we announced a July launch date to our customers.

        • emmelemm


          That's a good one.

          (So your QA department was like that credit card commercial, with "Peggy"?)

          • gullywompr

            Just hire BoatOfVelociraptors to do TDD.

          • If I had half a chance to, I would. He's probably too busy developing code to take over all our lives and harvest us for organs, though, so …

          • I've never seen the commercial, not having teh Teevee, but we ended up having to build a firewall inside our firewall so they would stop trying to steal our code. Really interesting people, smart as hell, very funny, a pleasure to work with so long as you didn't think about what-all they were up to. However, it was not a "successful outsourcing." BWAHAHA.

  • Pithaughn

    oh, I expect Barry's lawyers will approach this battle like a , well a battle. I am sure the lesson was learned back in 2000. What is still a wonder is why Boies thought playing by the rules would prevail against gangsters.

  • Disassembly

    What's this about voting machines? I thought Florida still allocated its electoral votes by putting the candidates on a Denny's menu and having Grandma point at the one she wants.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Well, we screwed up the 2008 election by allowing a black man to run, so this is just a "course correction."

  • kangod59

    Kiss Florida goodbye. The pubs are getting better at stealing elections.

  • cousinitt

    What's that? Yes, that's right this is the Amistad. What, you say you didn't book a place on this boat? You…you would like to leave now. I see, little late now. Probably just a glitch. No worries, enjoy our shipboard amenities and enjoy your cruise. Hey, just consider this your opportunity to make lemonade!

  • LibertyLover

    Huh. They must be using the same math that Karl Rove uses.

  • LibertyLover

    Tell me again why private companies are allowed ownership of voting machines?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      2. ????
      3. Profit!

      • Negropolis

        Truly, the Mormon Underpants Gnomes plan for stealing elections.

    • tessiee

      Not to mention members of the candidate's immediate family, also too?

  • Jerri

    I'm calling Florida for Buchanan right now. Look out, Nate Silver!

  • emmabee

    So 536 votes havealready been lost in Florida and the 2000 election was lost by 537 votes. In Florida.I hope the Barry Bamz attorneys are already working on this.

  • IndianaKevin

    The "glitch" was that the e-voting machines didn't secretly, silently flip votes as they were supposed to do. I suspect many teens could have better success if told "we want X percent of votes to change from A to B" as a function of the programming, and it must be untraceable." Instead, the Keystone Krooks are running the election.

    • Anonymous is watching.

      • IndianaKevin

        That makes me happy. Long live Anonymous!

  • BoroPrimorac

    You know what else they're doing to voters in Broward county, Flo-Rida? Some Romney supporters (white assholes) think it's a good to enforce their tow away zones and tow away the cars of people waiting in line to vote early. With the $150 it costs to take a car out of an impound lot, you can bet your ass that these people will never turn out to vote again.

  • VinnyThePooh

    I cast my early vote in Broward County yesterday. A quick scan of the folks in line was comforting and I actually felt the nervousness emanating from Repugnants.

    • emmelemm

      Bless you and your little cranky ginger kitty. Thanks for the report.

  • mormos

    To say surely we won't screw up the election twice in 20 years implies it was a screw up either time.

  • ttommyunger

    It's not going to be easy, stealing an Electoral Landslide, but they are going to give it a growl. Sadly, if they succeed, there will be a general uproar for a month or so, then back to the tee-vee machine, beer and cheetos.

  • tessiee

    For those who may be interested, there is an online petition requesting that the U.N. monitor the election:

  • tessiee

    Good news, everyone:

    "UAW Files Charges Against Romney on his Auto Bail-out Profiteering: For Mitt Romney, it's one scary Halloween. The Presidential candidate has just learned that tomorrow afternoon he will charged with violating the federal Ethics in Government law by improperly concealing his multi-million dollar windfall from the auto industry bail-out."

    ARTICLE 1:


    ARTICLE 3:

    ARTICLE 3:

    ARTICLE 4:

    ARTICLE 5:


    • emmelemm

      Good on 'em.

      A tiny chip away at "IOKIYAR".

    • Negropolis


    • IndianaKevin

      I did a search after seeing this reported elsewhere, and didn't find it in mainstream network news. A few individual papers and a number of overseas outlets, but it wasn't newsworthy in The Land of the Free and the Home of The First Amendment.

    • (Kisses tessiee on both cheeks) Mwah! Such a sweetie you are, bringing rays of light and HOPE. I hope they throw the fucking book at him.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Facts have a liberal bias, glitches have a conservative bias.
    See, it all works out in the end.

  • Negropolis

    Can't they just say that an alligator ate their ballots? I mean, this is Southern Florida we're talking about, which is weird as hell.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, for all of you panicking, the president doesn't even need Florida to win just to show you how far Romney is behind in the EC. So, chill out. Well, work your asses of those of you who live in Florida, but be as far away from dispair as you can put yourself, because it's not the end of Obama's road if he doesn't win Florida. Now, if something happens to send Ohio into a snit in the next few days, THEN you cnan panic.

  • LibrarianX

    Black people voting for Obama? Creates a black hole. Naturally. Stuff disappears.

    • LibrarianX

      Event horizon? Anyone…?

  • Franknflower

    In Bizaro World, Fox News is running a headline story on how Ohio votes for Mitt are being switched to Obama.

    • HAHAHAHA. Oh, dear. Is it unseemly to gloat?

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