Sometimes a cigar is a prostituteOh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool” for daring to look after his state instead of Mitt Romney’s presidential ambitions. Doesn’t Chris Christie know that it’s Mitt’s Time??

With Sandy still too raw for anyone to start make political points, there has been no backlash from Republicans about his alliance with Obama only six days from election day. Christie has said politics do not matter to him at the moment. But on Monday, even before Christie lavishly praised the president’s handling of the storm as “outstanding”, the right-wing talk-show host Rush Limbaugh called the governor “fat” and “a fool”.

Christie was a keynote speaker for Romney at the Republican convention in Tampa this summer and has been out on the campaign trail regularly on his behalf. And yet he not only praised Obama but, unlike mayor Michael Bloomberg in New York, also agreed to host the president on a tour of the stricken parts of his state.

Yes, what a fat fool, how dare Chris Christie not support the guy who wanted to privatize FEMA and then didn’t really know what he wanted to do with FEMA and then decided that only a crazy person would privatize FEMA? Rush is confused! But that’s ok, he can always  just console himself with his tiny penis.

[The Guardian]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Madfall

    "So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool”"

    He would be the expert in these matters.

  • nounverb911

    Another case of the pot calling the kettle blah?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool”

    It takes one to know one.

  • nounverb911

    When is the next hurricane scheduled to hit Palm Beach, FL?

    • LibertyLover

      When Rush Limbaugh goes on the air next? There's a ton of foul air in those lungs.

    • bikerlaureate

      The season doesn't end until November 30…

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    I love sumo wrestling!

    • nounverb911

      The thought of Rush in a Mawashi is just horrifying.

      • Be more like a Ballwashi…

      • Uh … ugh. I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns for putting that image in my head. And YOU TOO, SL_UT.

  • YouBetcha

    I have never felt more sorry for any other human being in my life than I have for the current (and any future) Mrs. Rush Limbaugh. I'd rather live out my days in Guantanamo than be married to that drug addled festering boil.

    • emmelemm

      It's not like she didn't know what she was getting into.

      • nounverb911

        Isn't it the other way around?

      • True story: I knew his third wife, Marta, from CompuServe before they met. She was a really sweet, if a little misguided, woman. We chatted from time to time (I was trolling the Town Hall forum, and if you think they're bad now….whooooey!) and she could be pretty reasonable. She was kinda hot, too.

        Then he harumphed, she got all wet because, you know, Rush, and next thing you know, he's on her like a fat man on a slab of bacon.

        I pitied her after that.

        • SoBeach

          I'm pretty sure she made out okay. I suspect she filed for divorce the very day the pre-nup allowed it, and she's kept her mouth shut. People work far shittier jobs for far longer and don't see anything like the retirement package she got.

          • Er, I'd rather not imagine any package related to her term with Rush.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Free choice and all that. one would expect a quick divorce and a thorough cleaning-out of all available Rushbo assets.

    • Is there a Mrs. Limpballs? I always thought he was a fat greasy bachelor.

      • zumpie

        There is and Elton John (!!!!!!!!!) sang at their wedding.

      • This one is number four.

        Curiously, none have lived with Rush…

    • PugglesRule

      I can't imagine why anyone would want to marry that drug-addled, draft-dodging gas bag. Unless, of course, she likes money and having sex with Jabba the Hutt.

      • I doubt she has sex with him. I very much doubt that at all.

        • Lot_49


          • I doubt he specified it therein.

          • Lot_49

            No, but she might've

      • I thought Jabba the Hutt liked erotic asphyxiation.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Oh, please. She knew what she was getting. I feel more sorry for anyone who has ever been forced to sit next to him on an airplane.

      • Beowoof

        Big Boy bought his own plane. So when he needs to go somewhere, he has his flying cattle car on call. C-130's for all fat old republicans.

        • tessiee

          OK, then I feel sorry for the plane that has to lift his big ass.

    • She probably gets a ton of money to keep to herself, mind her own business, dress nice, and go out with him in public. I would be *very* surprised if she actually had to deliver sexually. I suspect his tastes run elsewhere.

      • The same could be said for one or all of Tom Cruise's exes.

        • Actually, highly placed ex-Scientologists say "There is no evidence that Cruise is gay. Travolta, on the other hand…"

        • maybe it's just me, but i think it would be far better pretending to be married to tom cruise and hanging out with a listers than doing the nasty with limpballs and hanging out with FL republicans.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Cruise is somewhat easier to look at over the dinner table as well.

        • tessiee

          OMG, you guys!
          So somebody left a People magazine in the office where I'm temping?
          And it had Tom Cruise on the cover?
          My boss (a guy): How many ex-wives does he have now?
          Me: Three, and they keep getting younger every time.
          My boss: Well, at least you're safe, then.
          *deadly silence*
          Me: Yeah, isn't it just too bad YOU'RE not?

      • Beowoof

        I have heard some unsavory rumors about Rush's trips to the Dominican Republic.

        • They're not rumours, AFAIK. It's well-known and documented that he vacations there, that he chooses to frequent a location that attracts underage prostitutes, and that at least one time, he has been stopped returning from that place with Viagra in his suitcase in someone else's prescription. The conclusion these facts force one to is, well, we all know what it is.

          • Beowoof

            Those are the rumors. I know what I have concluded about those rumors.

          • tessiee

            So, are you saying "Let's not shove any obvious conclusions down anyone's throat like Kimberly's zucchini?"

          • Beowoof

            Pretty much, I think most who can think will figure out what Rush has been up to with the help of Viagara.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Eh. Life as a beard can't be nearly as unbearable as being his Dominican rentboy.

      • I can't stand to think what the life of those children must be like.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Good Lord. There are children???


          • I was referring to the Dominican rent-boy.

            AFAIK, Bletch, I mean, Rush, has never spawned.

    • I dunno. From his radio show it's apparent he's a cunning linguist.

      • Beowoof

        I think Anal linguist would better describe how he feels about the Kochs.

    • tessiee

      I actually feel sorrier for the guy who has to lift up Rush's fupa and clean under it. Crap must be stuck in there like popcorn kernels in a theater seat.

  • Rush, several Jerseyites are in desperate need of flotation devices to get out of their homes.

    You could volunteer.

    • LibertyLover

      I'll bet he would make a better sand bag…

    • Lot_49

      Fat does float on water…

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Ugh, then they'd have to hold onto him. Haven't they suffered enough?

  • Imagine, a politician serving his public instead of his party!

    • BumbleKid

      It's unnatural damnit!

    • Beowoof

      Well you know republicans, fuck that there is money to be made getting our shill oops I mean guy in office.

  • What's worse, a big fat asshole or a big fat fool?

    • Well there was that boil next to Limpblow's fundament that got him out of the draft. So maybe it distills to a foolish big fat asshole.

    • LibertyLover

      Rush Limbaugh, duh.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Not sure. Which one's holding an ice cream cone and which one's holding the cigar?

      • Beowoof

        Whenever this picture of Rush shows up, the George Carlin bit where he talks about cigar smokers or, "White pussy businessmen sucking on a big brown dick", comes to mind.

    • tessiee

      *wagging finger pedantically*
      A big fat SHITTY asshole, Billy.

    • Negropolis

      Must I choose?

  • Lucidamente1

    It's almost as if he's remembering part of a book title, ". . . is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations."

  • Disassembly

    Those who live in fat houses…

    • …shouldn't throw crullers.

      • tessiee

        Or catch them, I suppose…

        Although I can't quite picture ol' Rush as a "catcher".

    • Negropolis

      …shouldn't throw bones.

  • elviouslyqueer

    JUST DIE ALREADY, you racist festering penile canker sore.*

    *Preferably in close proximity to a naked, underage Dominican rentboy.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Christie may be fatter (but not by much) but Rush is the far greater fool.

  • cousinitt

    So that's not Rush's own penis he's smoking? Then whose is it?

    • nounverb911

      Ann Coulter's?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh right. I'd bet Ann makes Hedwig look positively gargantuan.

      • kyeshinka


      • Too brown.

    • Callyson

      Larry Craig's?

  • emmelemm

    Self-awareness meter: not just broken, but violently exploded into approximately a million pieces.

  • LastGasp

    Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick

    Speaking of, what's Rush doing in that picture above?

    • Crank_Tango

      Sometimes a cigar is just a phallic symbol.

  • Lucidamente1

    Today we are all morbidly obese governors.

    • MonkeyBiz

      Does this mean I get to have "GOVERNOR" embroidered on everything I own?

  • Is Christie also a prescription drug abuser and diddler of Dominican boys? He should be wide enough to accommodate all of Rush's projections.

    • Not_Mother

      Maybe slightly OT but rushbo took a Tagg shot at Bob Menendez today for shortchanging some Caribbean hookers. A man with his heft should prolly beware treading on that kind of thin ice.

  • CivicHoliday

    To be fair, he IS right about Chris Christie being a fat fool…but only because that moron has been campaigning for someone who, had he been elected before the storm, would have been happy to let Blackwater come in an charge people 2K a pop to sandbag around their houses and when, surprise surprise the sandbags failed to hold off floodwaters, would charge another 2K to rescue them. Because, you know, the private sector does it best.

    • StillGoinGreen


  • Rush Limbaugh circa November 2015.

    "That's what leadership looks like, folks" fapping to a photo of a fat fool that resembles Chris Christie

    • gullywompr

      Yep, they were their own Lemon Party just a few weeks ago. Flighty bitches…

  • I'd love to put an ice cream sundae at 10 paces between them and blow a whistle. 2000 pounds enter… 1001 pounds leave.

  • I'd like to see Christie take on Limpballs with a washed up piece of boardwalk in his hand Joisey style.

  • bfddad

    Man, if you don't hold to the talking points, you get eaten alive. It is nice to watch from the sidelines though. Heh heh.

  • SmutBoffin

    Srsly, though, don't smoke cigars anymore, Rush. Not only are they toxic, they make you look like a dog taking a shit.

  • It's not often that we see this — the ship is leaving the sinking rat.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Another example of the pot calling the kettle full of delicious popcorn, smothered in butter and salt, then slathered in gooey caramel sauce … mmm … ohhh … mmm … make love to me, you fat fool …

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Kremes Krispy has behaved with genuine class and tact these last two days. Fuck you, Rush, for making me defend a guido. And for the image of greasy, writhing sumo wrestlers, also, too.

    • Negropolis

      Well, I'm not sure how genuine it is, but I'll even take faux-class if it means cleaning up Jersey.

  • Radiotherapy

    Would Christie even fit under a bus?

    • When he indicated the other day he'd be taking a helicopter tour to survey the storm damage, I was a mite worried. For the helicopter.

      • Beowoof

        Heavy lift Huey.

    • Beowoof

      Maybe one of those troop trucks.

  • PsycWench

    I'm so hoping that Christie calls Rush out for being a partisan idiot who could care less about the common man. Or as we sometimes say, "Republican".

  • prancing around with Mittens

    A phrase which aptly describes accompanying Mitt Romney anywhere.

    • tessiee

      Burns and Smithers attend the ballet.
      Burns: Bah! Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!
      Smithers: A little mincing would be nice.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Nice picture…is that David's koch in his mouth?

    • Too brown, anyone seen Clarence Thomas lately?

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Sorry bro, but Clarence does the sucking. He doesn't even get a reach around from his wife.

  • The entire fucking GOP has turned on Christie with a viciousness I've rarely seen. Watching them eat their own is usually fun, but this is rather depressing. They don't seem to have a clue how they appear to the rest of the world.

    • T3rbo

      They know what's going on, Gov. Krispy Kreme is cutting Romney off at the knees for a chance at 2016. That's what they get for always crying about "Chicago Politics." Turns out, Jersey politics is even more brutal. Imagine if Obama had to run against Gov. Krispy Kreme-I think O lucked out big time

      • Everyone misunderstimates Obama.

        • T3rbo

          What I mean is, Romney is running a semi-competent campaign and has no personality and Obama is barely ahead (if at all) in the swing states. Imagine if Obama had to go against someone with charisma who knows about how to run a vicious campaign. All we have to go on, also, is Obama's performance so far and its results-why is Romney so close to Obama in polls if Obama is a competent campaigner?

          • Because BLAH. Srsly. Lots of Republicans have said so pretty openly.

          • T3rbo

            not convinced-Obama was just as black in 2008 as he is now, and Romney isn't a better choice than McCain was…

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Two words to compare 2012 to 2008: Sarah Palin. Say that a few times to yourself and see if you can still say that Romney isn't a better choice the McCain.

          • rickmaci

            Snowbilly Grifter. Magicunderwear Huckster. Hmmm. Not seeing a lot of difference except Snowbilly had better legs.

          • T3rbo

            Yeah, Sarah was probably the candidate voters would most like to fuck. Romney/Ryan are the candidates most likely to fuck the voters…

          • The main difference is, McCain was far more likely to cark it and leave Snowbilly in charge than Rmoney is to leave for Kobol and leave Eddie Munster in charge.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            I would submit that while both come from the species Moneygrabinus Griftianicus, Romney is just a wee less bugfuck crazy than Sarah.—

          • tessiee

            Yes, but how is MItt at the fancy pageant walkin'?

          • T3rbo

            Yeah, she was a god awful mess. Made grampa mc cain look pretty bad…I can't eliminate my bias, because to me, Ryan was the worst pick as a running mate, and I would guess that Ryan looks pretty generic to them. At the same time, remember the idiots with the "drill baby drill" bumper stickers? I recently (early 2012) saw a "SARAH 2012" bumper sticker….

          • tessiee

            As the saying goes, there are two kinds of Republicans: Rich people and stupid people. The stupid people want to keep the rich people rich, and the rich people want to keep the stupid people stupid.

            Sarah Palin was for the stupid people. Romney is for the rich people — he's not particularly for the stupid people (aside from the fact that they're useful to him), but because they're stupid, they think they're going to be rich if they vote for him.

          • heathenette

            Try saying Paul Ryan over and over. Palin is just an idiot, Ryan is down right evil and has the plans to carry out his world domination scheme.

          • tessiee

            I don't know how this works as far as an explanation of "why is Romney so close?", but I've never seen an election quite like this one. Everybody I've spoken to, and many people who I've overheard, is voting AGAINST somebody. There are people who may or may not like Obama, but they're not voting for Obama because they like Obama, they're voting for Obama because they HATE Romney. There are (presumably) some people who like Romney, but they're not voting for Romney because they like Romney, they're voting for Romney because they HATE Obama.

            My best guess is that at least some of the Repigs, on at least some level, realize that whoever wins this election will have four years of a very unpleasant and difficult job; so they're not sending in the first team (whoever that might be) in the knowledge that a pretty fair number of people would vote for anyBODY or anyTHING that would get THE BLACK GUY out of office.


    Speaking of eating dick, that's some photo of Rush. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes…

    • kyeshinka

      Mmm. Long, salty, thick and black. mmm-MMM!

    • …not for Rush, it's never a cigar.

  • Goonemeritus

    Between pushing Sarah Palin on McCain during the last Presidential election and kicking off the GOP war on women this one Rush is one of the DNC’s most effective operatives.

    • Rush as an undercover operative, eh….no. However, a baseball stadium tarp might work if you stretch it a bit.

    • that is bill kristol slander.

  • freakishlywrong

    I love porcine ratfucker violence on porcine ratfucker violence.

  • RomneysLogCabin

    If Christie is a fat, bag-of-dicks–eating fool, what does that make Limbaugh?

  • zumpie

    1) I haz confused: now Christie is a "fool"? Yesterday Rushie was tap dancing around this saying Bamz had probably pretty much extorted support by doubtlessly threatening to withhold funds and services UNLESS Chris Christie gay married him.

    2) Christie's keynote speech at the RNC was for Christie, not Mittens.

  • PuckStopsHere

    He's a Nazi (that's right, he really is.) And he's got the face of a horse's ass.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Oh look. The big fat pot is calling ….
    This is just too obvious. I can't even finish.

  • Is it time for a 2nd Amendment solution for these asshats? With votes for sure.

  • Come here a minute

    Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party, which in this case means not lifting a finger to come to the aid of their constituents most in need of it.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, did Christie leave the Republican Party or did the Republican Party leave him?

  • What happened to "Support the Preznit In Crisis?"

    It sounds like Rush does not love US America.

    • Beowoof

      I keep waiting for him to leave for Costa Rica, but he keeps hanging around. Rush I am sure you can get all the pig products you need there.

  • Jerri

    2016 Rush knows he'd never say a thing as silly as that about Chris Christie. Must be a liberal conspiracy to put words in his mouth.

    • Beowoof

      They would have to get the big brown dick out of the way first. See Carlin note above.

      • Jerri

        Ha! You know I was like 2 seconds from posting that Carlin quote but having just quoted him yesterday I held off.

    • tessiee

      Also, there are no weapons of mass destruction, and we never said there were.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Man, Christie '16 is just a rocket right now.

    • Nostrildamus

      Blowing flaming gas out of his rear end?

  • Cicada

    Rush heaves himself off his hemorrhoid donut to issue another foul waft of gas from his puckered sphincter, and all of wingnuttia faps to the smell.

    • Ew. Reading that made me "Squeee!" — and not in a happy way.

    • LibertyLover

      They've just gotten use to the stench.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Well isn't that the pot-bellied tub of lard encrusted rat dicks calling the kettle fat?

  • freakishlywrong

    It takes a superstorm to turn a anti-gubmint, rightwinger in to an unabashed Democrat.

  • OneYieldRegular

    If they keep tending in this direction, the Romney/Ryan/Rushbaugh wing of the GOP is eventually going to run out of people to denounce.

    • Beowoof

      Well kindergarten teachers, oh wait they have gone after them for teaching kids to share. Never mind.

  • LibertyLover

    OT (a little) — I am beginning to think that the GOP is acting like they experienced that "rape thingy" and now are being forced to carry the fetus (Romney) to term.

    …And if Romney somehow wins the election ( from Tagg owning all those voting machines), America will have a 4 year gestation period.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      At which point Romney will burst, fully formed from America's chest cavity and scuttle away to lay eggs somewhere.

    • tessiee

      I tried to figure out how old I'd be after 16 years of those two sniveing little pricks running the show.
      Then I realized that the country would never survive that long, and…

  • LibertyLover

    I think Christie would tell Rush to STFU, but that's just how he rolls.

    • TootsStansbury

      He rolls alright and Rush leaves potholes in the sidewalk.

  • T3rbo

    Oh fun-an attorney and current governor vs a radio talk show host who failed every college class he has ever taken. I would love to see a debate between these two guys-Chris Christie would probably strangle that (other) fat fuck. God that would be great. Too bad it will never happen….

  • I am a bit disappointed that Rush didn't blame the Commerce Department for the hurricane…

  • smellypossum

    I miss George (Carlin, not W)

  • HogeyeGrex

    So, I don't remember. Was Rush one of the multitude praying for Christie to jump in during the primaries and save the Republican Party from the braying laughingstock slate they had?

    • T3rbo

      Yeah, that's all this is: El FatFuckbo is just frustrated in the choices that the party has made. He knows they should have run a far right insane person instead of a moderate who can pretend to be right wing. Rush is in a lose-lose: if Romney wins, he probably will only give a mild fuck about right wing programs or ideas, and if Romney loses, HitlerStalinObama is back with his ruinous islamofascist FEMA camps.

  • Nostrildamus

    Today we can also console ourselves with Rush's tiny penis.

  • LibertyLover

    I'll just bet that Rush would have preferred the hurricane to have hit New Jersey next week…

  • TootsStansbury

    I don't know who's done more ro destroy this country; this odious gasbag or Kkkarl Rove.

  • ElPinche

    Rush, go jump in a votes chipper .

  • BarackMyWorld

    The Irony Gods don't care to be mocked this much, Rush.

  • JackObin

    Is that a black dick Pugsly Limbaugh is sucking on?

  • tessiee

    Ooh! Fight! Fight! Fight!
    *dramatic announcer voicer*
    "When fat kills fat" — Mystery Science Theater, "final Justice"

  • tessiee

    Haw, the fat is fatting the fattle fat!

  • ttommyunger

    Find that in the yard, Rush?

  • azeyote

    well they both are likely to explode sometime soon so they might as well blow off as much steam as possible till that inevitable and memorable moment

  • deliman4

    Republicans know how to eat their own,and I think Rush has eaten most of them!!

  • Negropolis

    Isn't this like the pot calling the kettle blah.

  • Fat fools, fat fools
    Whatcha gonna do?
    Whatcha gonna do, when they look at you?

  • MonkeyBiz

    Chris Christie is a fat piece of shit and I wouldn't vote for him for dog catcher.

    However, in the face of one of the worst natural disasters in New Jersey's history, he's doing the right thing and accepting whatever help he can get his hands on.

    Rush Limbaugh, on the other hand, is a national disgrace.

  • SpinnyLiberal

    Christie should just tell him off…like he did with Fox and Friends. God forbid a Governor think of what is left of his state ahead of politics.

  • voodooeconomics

    Rush is is he…

Previous articleLooks Like Tagg Romney Has Already Leaked Next Week’s ‘Election’ ‘Results’
Next articleWe Are Sure These Mysterious Vote Tally Changes In Broward County, Florida, Are No Problem At All