rush limbaugh expects an apology

Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool

Sometimes a cigar is a prostituteOh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool” for daring to look after his state instead of Mitt Romney’s presidential ambitions. Doesn’t Chris Christie know that it’s Mitt’s Time??

With Sandy still too raw for anyone to start make political points, there has been no backlash from Republicans about his alliance with Obama only six days from election day. Christie has said politics do not matter to him at the moment. But on Monday, even before Christie lavishly praised the president’s handling of the storm as “outstanding”, the right-wing talk-show host Rush Limbaugh called the governor “fat” and “a fool”.

Christie was a keynote speaker for Romney at the Republican convention in Tampa this summer and has been out on the campaign trail regularly on his behalf. And yet he not only praised Obama but, unlike mayor Michael Bloomberg in New York, also agreed to host the president on a tour of the stricken parts of his state.

Yes, what a fat fool, how dare Chris Christie not support the guy who wanted to privatize FEMA and then didn’t really know what he wanted to do with FEMA and then decided that only a crazy person would privatize FEMA? Rush is confused! But that’s ok, he can always  just console himself with his tiny penis.

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[The Guardian]

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

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198 comments

  1. Madfall

    "So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool”"

    He would be the expert in these matters.

        1. Thunderclees

          You can lead Rush to an Old Country Buffet but you can't stop management from kicking him out after a few hours.

  2. Oblios_Cap

    Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a “fool”

    It takes one to know one.

  3. YouBetcha

    I have never felt more sorry for any other human being in my life than I have for the current (and any future) Mrs. Rush Limbaugh. I'd rather live out my days in Guantanamo than be married to that drug addled festering boil.

      1. actor212

        True story: I knew his third wife, Marta, from CompuServe before they met. She was a really sweet, if a little misguided, woman. We chatted from time to time (I was trolling the Town Hall forum, and if you think they're bad now….whooooey!) and she could be pretty reasonable. She was kinda hot, too.

        Then he harumphed, she got all wet because, you know, Rush, and next thing you know, he's on her like a fat man on a slab of bacon.

        I pitied her after that.

        1. SoBeach

          I'm pretty sure she made out okay. I suspect she filed for divorce the very day the pre-nup allowed it, and she's kept her mouth shut. People work far shittier jobs for far longer and don't see anything like the retirement package she got.

    1. Oblios_Cap

      Free choice and all that. one would expect a quick divorce and a thorough cleaning-out of all available Rushbo assets.

    2. PugglesRule

      I can't imagine why anyone would want to marry that drug-addled, draft-dodging gas bag. Unless, of course, she likes money and having sex with Jabba the Hutt.

    3. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Oh, please. She knew what she was getting. I feel more sorry for anyone who has ever been forced to sit next to him on an airplane.

      1. Beowoof

        Big Boy bought his own plane. So when he needs to go somewhere, he has his flying cattle car on call. C-130's for all fat old republicans.

    4. MittBorg

      She probably gets a ton of money to keep to herself, mind her own business, dress nice, and go out with him in public. I would be *very* surprised if she actually had to deliver sexually. I suspect his tastes run elsewhere.

        1. fuflans

          maybe it's just me, but i think it would be far better pretending to be married to tom cruise and hanging out with a listers than doing the nasty with limpballs and hanging out with FL republicans.

        2. tessiee

          OMG, you guys!
          So somebody left a People magazine in the office where I'm temping?
          And it had Tom Cruise on the cover?
          My boss (a guy): How many ex-wives does he have now?
          Me: Three, and they keep getting younger every time.
          My boss: Well, at least you're safe, then.
          *deadly silence*
          Me: Yeah, isn't it just too bad YOU'RE not?

        1. MittBorg

          They're not rumours, AFAIK. It's well-known and documented that he vacations there, that he chooses to frequent a location that attracts underage prostitutes, and that at least one time, he has been stopped returning from that place with Viagra in his suitcase in someone else's prescription. The conclusion these facts force one to is, well, we all know what it is.

          1. tessiee

            So, are you saying "Let's not shove any obvious conclusions down anyone's throat like Kimberly's zucchini?"

          2. Beowoof

            Pretty much, I think most who can think will figure out what Rush has been up to with the help of Viagara.

    5. tessiee

      I actually feel sorrier for the guy who has to lift up Rush's fupa and clean under it. Crap must be stuck in there like popcorn kernels in a theater seat.

    1. Beowoof

      Well you know republicans, fuck that there is money to be made getting our shill oops I mean guy in office.

    1. weejee

      Well there was that boil next to Limpblow's fundament that got him out of the draft. So maybe it distills to a foolish big fat asshole.

      1. Beowoof

        Whenever this picture of Rush shows up, the George Carlin bit where he talks about cigar smokers or, "White pussy businessmen sucking on a big brown dick", comes to mind.

  4. Lucidamente1

    It's almost as if he's remembering part of a book title, ". . . is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations."

  5. elviouslyqueer

    JUST DIE ALREADY, you racist festering penile canker sore.*

    *Preferably in close proximity to a naked, underage Dominican rentboy.

  6. emmelemm

    Self-awareness meter: not just broken, but violently exploded into approximately a million pieces.

  7. LastGasp

    Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick

    Speaking of, what's Rush doing in that picture above?

    1. Not_Mother

      Maybe slightly OT but rushbo took a Tagg shot at Bob Menendez today for shortchanging some Caribbean hookers. A man with his heft should prolly beware treading on that kind of thin ice.

  8. CivicHoliday

    To be fair, he IS right about Chris Christie being a fat fool…but only because that moron has been campaigning for someone who, had he been elected before the storm, would have been happy to let Blackwater come in an charge people 2K a pop to sandbag around their houses and when, surprise surprise the sandbags failed to hold off floodwaters, would charge another 2K to rescue them. Because, you know, the private sector does it best.

  9. skmind

    Rush Limbaugh circa November 2015.

    "That's what leadership looks like, folks" fapping to a photo of a fat fool that resembles Chris Christie

  10. bfddad

    Man, if you don't hold to the talking points, you get eaten alive. It is nice to watch from the sidelines though. Heh heh.

  11. SmutBoffin

    Srsly, though, don't smoke cigars anymore, Rush. Not only are they toxic, they make you look like a dog taking a shit.

  12. Mittens Howell, III

    Another example of the pot calling the kettle full of delicious popcorn, smothered in butter and salt, then slathered in gooey caramel sauce … mmm … ohhh … mmm … make love to me, you fat fool …

  13. Tequila Mockingbird

    Kremes Krispy has behaved with genuine class and tact these last two days. Fuck you, Rush, for making me defend a guido. And for the image of greasy, writhing sumo wrestlers, also, too.

    1. Negropolis

      Well, I'm not sure how genuine it is, but I'll even take faux-class if it means cleaning up Jersey.

  14. PsycWench

    I'm so hoping that Christie calls Rush out for being a partisan idiot who could care less about the common man. Or as we sometimes say, "Republican".

    1. tessiee

      Burns and Smithers attend the ballet.
      Burns: Bah! Far too much dancing, not nearly enough prancing!
      Smithers: A little mincing would be nice.

      1. Dashboard Buddha

        Sorry bro, but Clarence does the sucking. He doesn't even get a reach around from his wife.

  15. MittBorg

    The entire fucking GOP has turned on Christie with a viciousness I've rarely seen. Watching them eat their own is usually fun, but this is rather depressing. They don't seem to have a clue how they appear to the rest of the world.

    1. T3rbo

      They know what's going on, Gov. Krispy Kreme is cutting Romney off at the knees for a chance at 2016. That's what they get for always crying about "Chicago Politics." Turns out, Jersey politics is even more brutal. Imagine if Obama had to run against Gov. Krispy Kreme-I think O lucked out big time

        1. T3rbo

          What I mean is, Romney is running a semi-competent campaign and has no personality and Obama is barely ahead (if at all) in the swing states. Imagine if Obama had to go against someone with charisma who knows about how to run a vicious campaign. All we have to go on, also, is Obama's performance so far and its results-why is Romney so close to Obama in polls if Obama is a competent campaigner?

          1. T3rbo

            not convinced-Obama was just as black in 2008 as he is now, and Romney isn't a better choice than McCain was…

          2. Dashboard Buddha

            Two words to compare 2012 to 2008: Sarah Palin. Say that a few times to yourself and see if you can still say that Romney isn't a better choice the McCain.

          3. rickmaci

            Snowbilly Grifter. Magicunderwear Huckster. Hmmm. Not seeing a lot of difference except Snowbilly had better legs.

          4. T3rbo

            Yeah, Sarah was probably the candidate voters would most like to fuck. Romney/Ryan are the candidates most likely to fuck the voters…

          5. doloras

            The main difference is, McCain was far more likely to cark it and leave Snowbilly in charge than Rmoney is to leave for Kobol and leave Eddie Munster in charge.

          6. Dashboard Buddha

            I would submit that while both come from the species Moneygrabinus Griftianicus, Romney is just a wee less bugfuck crazy than Sarah.—

          7. T3rbo

            Yeah, she was a god awful mess. Made grampa mc cain look pretty bad…I can't eliminate my bias, because to me, Ryan was the worst pick as a running mate, and I would guess that Ryan looks pretty generic to them. At the same time, remember the idiots with the "drill baby drill" bumper stickers? I recently (early 2012) saw a "SARAH 2012" bumper sticker….

          8. tessiee

            As the saying goes, there are two kinds of Republicans: Rich people and stupid people. The stupid people want to keep the rich people rich, and the rich people want to keep the stupid people stupid.

            Sarah Palin was for the stupid people. Romney is for the rich people — he's not particularly for the stupid people (aside from the fact that they're useful to him), but because they're stupid, they think they're going to be rich if they vote for him.

          9. heathenette

            Try saying Paul Ryan over and over. Palin is just an idiot, Ryan is down right evil and has the plans to carry out his world domination scheme.

          10. tessiee

            I don't know how this works as far as an explanation of "why is Romney so close?", but I've never seen an election quite like this one. Everybody I've spoken to, and many people who I've overheard, is voting AGAINST somebody. There are people who may or may not like Obama, but they're not voting for Obama because they like Obama, they're voting for Obama because they HATE Romney. There are (presumably) some people who like Romney, but they're not voting for Romney because they like Romney, they're voting for Romney because they HATE Obama.

            My best guess is that at least some of the Repigs, on at least some level, realize that whoever wins this election will have four years of a very unpleasant and difficult job; so they're not sending in the first team (whoever that might be) in the knowledge that a pretty fair number of people would vote for anyBODY or anyTHING that would get THE BLACK GUY out of office.

  16. TRDMC

    Speaking of eating dick, that's some photo of Rush. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes…

  17. Goonemeritus

    Between pushing Sarah Palin on McCain during the last Presidential election and kicking off the GOP war on women this one Rush is one of the DNC’s most effective operatives.

  18. zumpie

    1) I haz confused: now Christie is a "fool"? Yesterday Rushie was tap dancing around this saying Bamz had probably pretty much extorted support by doubtlessly threatening to withhold funds and services UNLESS Chris Christie gay married him.

    2) Christie's keynote speech at the RNC was for Christie, not Mittens.

  19. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Oh look. The big fat pot is calling ….
    This is just too obvious. I can't even finish.

  20. Come here a minute

    Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party, which in this case means not lifting a finger to come to the aid of their constituents most in need of it.

    1. Beowoof

      I keep waiting for him to leave for Costa Rica, but he keeps hanging around. Rush I am sure you can get all the pig products you need there.

  21. Jerri

    2016 Rush knows he'd never say a thing as silly as that about Chris Christie. Must be a liberal conspiracy to put words in his mouth.

      1. Jerri

        Ha! You know I was like 2 seconds from posting that Carlin quote but having just quoted him yesterday I held off.

  22. Cicada

    Rush heaves himself off his hemorrhoid donut to issue another foul waft of gas from his puckered sphincter, and all of wingnuttia faps to the smell.

  23. Generation[redacted]

    Well isn't that the pot-bellied tub of lard encrusted rat dicks calling the kettle fat?

  24. OneYieldRegular

    If they keep tending in this direction, the Romney/Ryan/Rushbaugh wing of the GOP is eventually going to run out of people to denounce.

    1. Beowoof

      Well kindergarten teachers, oh wait they have gone after them for teaching kids to share. Never mind.

  25. LibertyLover

    OT (a little) — I am beginning to think that the GOP is acting like they experienced that "rape thingy" and now are being forced to carry the fetus (Romney) to term.

    …And if Romney somehow wins the election ( from Tagg owning all those voting machines), America will have a 4 year gestation period.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      At which point Romney will burst, fully formed from America's chest cavity and scuttle away to lay eggs somewhere.

    2. tessiee

      I tried to figure out how old I'd be after 16 years of those two sniveing little pricks running the show.
      Then I realized that the country would never survive that long, and…
      Aw.

  26. T3rbo

    Oh fun-an attorney and current governor vs a radio talk show host who failed every college class he has ever taken. I would love to see a debate between these two guys-Chris Christie would probably strangle that (other) fat fuck. God that would be great. Too bad it will never happen….

  27. HogeyeGrex

    So, I don't remember. Was Rush one of the multitude praying for Christie to jump in during the primaries and save the Republican Party from the braying laughingstock slate they had?

    1. T3rbo

      Yeah, that's all this is: El FatFuckbo is just frustrated in the choices that the party has made. He knows they should have run a far right insane person instead of a moderate who can pretend to be right wing. Rush is in a lose-lose: if Romney wins, he probably will only give a mild fuck about right wing programs or ideas, and if Romney loses, HitlerStalinObama is back with his ruinous islamofascist FEMA camps.

  28. LibertyLover

    I'll just bet that Rush would have preferred the hurricane to have hit New Jersey next week…

  29. tessiee

    Ooh! Fight! Fight! Fight!
    *dramatic announcer voicer*
    "When fat kills fat" — Mystery Science Theater, "final Justice"

  30. azeyote

    well they both are likely to explode sometime soon so they might as well blow off as much steam as possible till that inevitable and memorable moment

  31. MonkeyBiz

    Chris Christie is a fat piece of shit and I wouldn't vote for him for dog catcher.

    However, in the face of one of the worst natural disasters in New Jersey's history, he's doing the right thing and accepting whatever help he can get his hands on.

    Rush Limbaugh, on the other hand, is a national disgrace.

  32. SpinnyLiberal

    Christie should just tell him off…like he did with Fox and Friends. God forbid a Governor think of what is left of his state ahead of politics.

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