GOOD MORNING STARSHINE  10:49 am November 1, 2012

Here, Hippies, Is Your Dumb Astrological Election Prediction

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

How’re your chakras? Are they shimmery and light? They aren’t constipated and sludgy, we hope! How’s your crystals? Helping you channel Ramses or Mothra or whatever? Great! What about your chart? Have you checked your chart lately? Is Mercury in retrograde? Is something else in something else? Has Jupiter aligned with Mars? Who does this dumb astrologer think will win the election?

Well, this dumb astrologer, Paul Saunders, thinks Barack Nobumer will win the election. AS IF. The stupid astrologer doesn’t even get his birthplace right: he claims B. Barry Bamz was born in HONOLULU. Therefore, ignore the many thousands of words about charts and natals and ascendants (we did!), as it is founded on A LIE. (Still better founded than Joe Scarborough’s gut, probably.)

[SolarisAstrology]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 181 comments }

Lot_49 November 1, 2012 at 10:52 am

OT headline of the day

OneDollarJuana November 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

Even though he's running for a non-partisan position, I bet if you pressed you'd find a little (R) after his name.

SorosBot November 1, 2012 at 11:07 am

It's going to be weird getting used to voting for these bizarre "non-partisan" positions. It doesn't matter how local the position is, we should know a candidate's party to help determine if they deserve our vote!

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 11:37 am

I'm always rock solid all the way down to county-commisioners-level races, but sometimes the judgeships and stuff throw me a bit. Fortunately, some helpful progressive folks put together a concise online progressive voter's guide for each county in my state. Maybe there's one somewhere for yours too?

SorosBot November 1, 2012 at 11:48 am

That sounds like a lot of work though; just pushing the "all Democrats" button was a hell of a lot easier.

ChapterUndVerse November 1, 2012 at 11:19 pm

In my neck of the woods, the Republicans are all helpfully color-coding their signs red, except for a few trying to pass as independents in green. And they all seem to want "change," but there's no hope for them.

Tundra Grifter November 1, 2012 at 11:40 am

Thank you for that!

The subhead is also funny! "Arisen…"

FlownOver November 1, 2012 at 11:35 am

Best headline since the mid-1960s "Marines Beat Off Viet Cong".

Lot_49 November 1, 2012 at 11:46 am

Or the perhaps-apocryphal headline from the sports page of a south-central Missouri daily:

Licking Boys, Girls Advance in State Tourney.

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 11:38 am

And dude, if you're going to go all OT on the first comment, you're supposed to do it thusly:

FIRST!!!!

Lot_49 November 1, 2012 at 11:42 am

Had my moment of glory yesterday when our beloved Wonkette returned to the interwebs. Was first but had the humility not to say so. And am now wiping out that humility by claiming it.

Come here a minute November 1, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Or the mercifully dated, "FRIST!!"

Barbara_ November 1, 2012 at 10:52 am

I'm a Virgo, on the cusp of no longer caring all of this hooey.

natoslug November 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm

I'm a Taurus, and so fucking happy this bull will be over in less than a week.

iamrrm November 1, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I'm a Leo, lion around not givin a shit.

LibrarianX November 1, 2012 at 10:52 am

Peace & love – ok, but no fuckin' patchouli

elviouslyqueer November 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

ESSENTIAL OIL LIBEL!

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

Patchouli is the jew of liberal perfumism

Biff November 1, 2012 at 11:32 am

Agreed. I hate that shit!

Geminisunmars November 1, 2012 at 11:56 am

It grows on you.

Sue4466 November 1, 2012 at 10:53 am

Astrology is as much a science as political punditry, so why not?

Terry November 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

…and more observation based that anything the GOP'ers put forward.

Sue4466 November 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

So, Rich Lowry says in some new Time article that Mittens is a "data driven" candidate and the reason he changes positions is because he's responding to the data.

Hard for astrology to top that kind of bullshit.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

If by "data" he means polls, I'd buy that.

Sue4466 November 1, 2012 at 11:16 am

or whoever happens to be Mitt's audience for that minute.

Terry November 1, 2012 at 11:25 am

Mitt responds to the polls, pivoting with wild abandon and saying whatever it takes to get elected. This is particularly ironic in that one of the GOP's major bitch points over the years is that Dem politicians have been too reliant on the polls to determine their positions.

AngryBlakGuy November 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

…who would have thought Uranus is in retrograde would have so many different meanings!

memzilla November 1, 2012 at 10:55 am

These predictions need moar chicken bones and virgin's blood.

weejee November 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

Like the statue of the four virgins to graduate from the University of Washington?

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 10:55 am

Hey, Rebecca. What's your sign?

commiegirl99 November 1, 2012 at 11:17 am

Yield.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 11:21 am

Great. Your place or mine? That roofie oughtta be kicking in within the hour.

OzoneTom November 1, 2012 at 11:24 am

Slippery when wet?

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:27 am

Men at Work

FlownOver November 1, 2012 at 11:37 am

I was guessing "Merge Left."

Tundra Grifter November 1, 2012 at 11:42 am

Or "Slow Merge."

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

Soft Shoulders

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:50 am

Nah, but Dangerous Curves would apply

Chet Kincaid_ November 1, 2012 at 11:55 am

"Eyes Up Here, Goddamnit"?

Tundra Grifter November 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

You beat me to it!

[When I see this sign I often ask myself "Just what isn't slippery when wet?"]

Geminisunmars November 1, 2012 at 11:59 am

I always thought "slow children" was kinda sad.

bumfug November 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

Eye of Newt and brain of Ryan, the crystal tells me Mitt is lyin'.

EatsBabyDingos November 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

Nancy's astrologer says Ronnie is still alive.

Biff November 1, 2012 at 11:36 am

Because the astrologer's livelihood depends upon Nancy's belief that he is still alive, silly!

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

Your move, Nancy Reagan.

elviouslyqueer November 1, 2012 at 10:57 am

Groovy, man. Far out, also, too.

Geminisunmars November 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Now that, I understood.

weejee November 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

Well clearly Madame Lulu's Paul Saunders' astrology chart ices it. As do a mystical seven over at MoJo.

Goonemeritus November 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

Having worked for 4 years in Woodstock NY, I think it falls on me to demand an end to all this Hippie hatred. Can’t we just love each other man?

Lot_49 November 1, 2012 at 11:02 am

Get a haircut!
Get a job!
Go to Vietnam!

It's funny 'cuz all those Prince-Valiant-haired football players are conservatards, there are no jobs, and the Vietnam War ended in a glorious triumph.

The best jokes are the ones you have to explain, henghngh?

nounverb911 November 1, 2012 at 11:03 am

Or Paris?

weejee November 1, 2012 at 11:06 am

Hilton?

Goonemeritus November 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

You left out that their wives all left them for their Yoga instructor.

Chet Kincaid_ November 1, 2012 at 11:50 am

John Redcorn Libel!!

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

I wear karma contacts in my third eye

Radiotherapy November 1, 2012 at 11:08 am

I wear a Karma® Brand condom on my third eye.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

I had a Karma Latte at Dunkin Donuts this morning.

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

I've got the Eye of Fatima on the wall of my room.

Blueb4sinrise November 1, 2012 at 11:27 am

Hey, anything interesting happen lately?

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:28 am

Nope, just an ordinary week at the 212 household.

Seems a little wet, tho

sbj1964 November 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

He said to Blave which means to cheat in cards.Liar! liar! he said true love!

BadKitty904 November 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

"Whew-hew, look who knows so much?!"

BadKitty904 November 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

Now, repeat that in Jambese…

eggsacklywright November 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

Meka-leka-hi
Meka-hidy-ho

Glad someone remembers that.

gullywompr November 1, 2012 at 11:14 am

Your wish is granted. Long live Jambi!

BadKitty904 November 1, 2012 at 11:22 am

("Pee-Wee's Christmas Special" has been one of my holiday standards since I was a tyke!)

boskolives November 1, 2012 at 11:59 am

Oh, a "tyke"…. Never mind

gullywompr November 1, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Careful with those consonants…

Spurning Beer November 1, 2012 at 10:39 pm

The Del Rubio Triplets are my favorite musical act.

CindynEncinitas November 1, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Meka-lecka-hi
Meka-chonnie-ho!

Look! Here comes Cowboy Curtis!

SorosBot November 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

I'm a rationalist who realizes that astrology is total bullshit; which is typical for a Pisces.

AngryBlakGuy November 1, 2012 at 11:14 am

…as a Pisces myself, I think Pisces are full of shyt!

MosesInvests November 1, 2012 at 12:46 pm

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

nounverb911 November 1, 2012 at 11:00 am

Needs more Cowsills.

weejee November 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

And some canned heat to stay warm.

Biff November 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

Hey, I used to hang with those guys in Lagunitas!

Mumbletypeg November 1, 2012 at 11:01 am

Rob Brezhnev's was always my favorite political horrorscope~

eggsacklywright November 1, 2012 at 11:08 am

Did his girlfriend have horrorshow groodies?

LibertyLover November 1, 2012 at 11:01 am

Nancy Reagan disapproved this message.

TootsStansbury November 1, 2012 at 11:02 am

"Is Mercury I'm retrograde?" No but Uranus aligns with the Oort Cloud.Sorry, closest I could get ro a poop joke.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:02 am

Trying to make an asteroid of yourself?

zumpie November 1, 2012 at 11:05 am

Tell me about Uranus…..I hear it's large and gaseous, is that true?

freakishlywrong November 1, 2012 at 11:07 am

I can speak with some authority here. It's not large…

LibertyLover November 1, 2012 at 11:08 am

You really need to clean up some of those satellites around Uranus.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:11 am

Those Klingons are tricky bastards

K'Plop!

eggsacklywright November 1, 2012 at 11:26 am

I hear the Oort Cloud is pretty stinky.

TootsStansbury November 1, 2012 at 11:36 am

Yay! You guys are the bestest!*toot*

Trannysurprise November 1, 2012 at 11:02 am

I noticed this morning my dogs poo had some beans and maybe onions in it. That's a B and an O. Like Barack Obama. In his two years he's never been wrong forecasting these elections. That's science people.

See you at the Obama victory party.

StillGoinGreen November 1, 2012 at 11:17 am

When I woke up this morning (after a late night vodka bender), I had BO under both of my arms… That is BO TIMES TWO!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!

OBAMA2012!!!

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 12:04 pm

I had a rather large BM this morning, which I think might be a good sign for the Romney/Ryan ticket.

I don't know why that should be, exactly, but it just brought them to mind.

StillGoinGreen November 1, 2012 at 12:35 pm

To poo = evacuate
evacuate = major storm
major storm = FEMA
FEMA = Federal Government
Federal Government = Obama!!!

OBAMA2012!!!

BTWBFDIMHO November 1, 2012 at 12:53 pm

My evacuations today all reminded me of the Quantitative Easing program of the Fed, a sign that public spending may continue growing for a while. 4MYrs!

ttommyunger November 1, 2012 at 7:37 pm

My wifey's late g'ma used to make me take her Peke out to the back yard when we visited her. She always asked me to "check his doody" and required a detailed report on it at the completion of the outing. One Thanksgiving Day I secreted some peanut butter during a visit and when returning indoors with the dog and receiving the usual query, I displayed an index finger full of PB and inserted it in my mouth, exclaiming after a small pause: "it's a little salty!" She didn't bat an eye, only grumbling: "Damn fool! True story. She was often curt with the "Nigras" at retail establishments and would no doubt be a Romney voter if alive today, so I've got that going for me, which is nice….

Not_So_Much November 1, 2012 at 11:02 am

My cat gakked up a hairball that looked like Jan Brewer. I think that's every bit as informative as astrology.

Biff November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

Pretty much all hairballs look like Jan Brewer, though!

Radiotherapy November 1, 2012 at 11:03 am

I just want this thing to be over so that we can deal with much more important matters…like the 2016 election.
The Most Important Election In Your Lifetime.™

delaney_blom November 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

Even the astrologers are letting confirmation bias influence their predicitions?

eggsacklywright November 1, 2012 at 11:05 am

Obama and Rommel are in syzygy. My favorite hangman word.

FlownOver November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

Better yet, Zizzybaluba!

[Scream REAL LOUD!]

calliecallie November 1, 2012 at 11:54 am

Or Scrabble.

cheetojeebus November 1, 2012 at 11:06 am

This is not good reading for Nancy.

cheetojeebus November 1, 2012 at 11:38 am

geeze, how original. nice try asshole.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 11:54 am

It's just a question of getting there earlier than anyone else. I can't tell you how many times I thought I had come up with some brilliantly original snark only to go back and delete it after I read up the comments and see that I wasn't so original after all. To paraphrase Lennon, there's nothing you can snark that ain't been snarked. Let's be honest, it's kind of a hivemind here. But in a good way.

cheetojeebus November 1, 2012 at 12:04 pm

yeah, sometimes it kinda feels ok when some other wonketeer comes up with the same sick shit. Makes me feel a little less 'special' (in a good way). Thanks Baldar.

DCBloom November 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm

This is why I comment so rarely. By the time I get to a post, read it and then read all the comments, all the good snarks have already been taken.

But that's ok. Lets me know I'm not the only one thinking all that perverted shit

LibertyLover November 1, 2012 at 11:06 am

"In the red corner we have the Pisces challenger, the former governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney…."

I'm really surprised Romney isn't a Gemini, given his twin positions on every issue. OTOH, I am not surprised that Romeny is a wet fish. Although Pisces fish people are usually more personable than robotic…

Wait, Robots don't have birthdays.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

Remember that Pisces is symbolized by TWO fish, facing opposite directions, connected by a strand between them.

It's a pair of Fish that represents Pisces, a symbol that prompts others to suggest that these people 'go with the flow' and 'don't make waves.' Both of these labels are true, since Pisces are fluid and easy-going, in keeping with the Mutable Quality assigned to this sign. The fact that two fish (as opposed to one) represent the members of this sign also speaks to the duality of Pisces, their yin and yang sensibility. Pisces alternate between reality and non-reality in keeping with their introspective natures; their voyage between consciousness and an unconscious dream state says much about their intuitive, almost psychic natures. For this reason, Pisces can be hard to pin down, prompting some to call them the chameleons of the zodiac. The Fish are happy to be considered hazy, since there's a certain sense of safety in that self-proclaimed netherworld.

emphases added

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Well, that's about the best evidence I've seen yet that astrology isn't all bullshit.

emmelemm November 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I'm a Gemini and I resent this comment. (My other personality thinks it's funny.)

zumpie November 1, 2012 at 11:06 am

1) Of course the astrologer dude was gonna pick teh Evil Kenyan Muslin Usurper, I mean you put a video of teh blahs singing and stuff, so that sealed it!

2) Needz moar "Wedding Bell Blues"

mavenmaven November 1, 2012 at 11:07 am

White Dwarfs for Romney!

FlownOver November 1, 2012 at 11:50 am

MUNCHKIN LIBEL!

Biff November 1, 2012 at 11:55 am

Red Giants disapprove.

MosesInvests November 1, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Hi-ho!

AngryBlakGuy November 1, 2012 at 11:07 am

…according to to my E-meter, my Thetan level has doubled which means that Cthullu(aka. Sarah Palin) will win this election despit not being on the ballot. I surely hope I am reading this right!

Radiotherapy November 1, 2012 at 11:09 am

CHIDAKASHA LIBEL!

Lazy Media November 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

This is so dumb. Sam Wang and Nate Silver have both pretty much proven that you need to get the state-by-state astrological predictions; the naitonal ones have a 2 percent bias for Romney.

UnholyMoses November 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

Not sure about my chakra, but my chi is certainly not centered.

frrolfe November 1, 2012 at 11:13 am

i am totally confused. now they say that the tinted candidate is actually south african, born in natal. this adds a new layer of complexity! i want certainty!!

JustPixelz November 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

Yet another phony prediction from "scientists". Ya know, unlike politicians, scientists will say whatever their liberal donors tell them to.

gullywompr November 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

Oh hai, haven't you heard? It's hip to be square.

Romney by 2 percentage points in the general, but loses the Electoral because Ohio.

Greta Van Susteren told me so last night.

kyeshinka November 1, 2012 at 11:21 am

Which side of her face told you? Because the two sides don't appear to work in tandem.

gullywompr November 1, 2012 at 11:28 am

She also noted that people were saying that Fox seemed preoccupied on the Benghazi thing, and asked her panel if it were true. All thought it was too important a story not to cover, but it wouldn't change the election. Ya THINK?!?!?!

boskolives November 1, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Greta Van Susteren know how to skin Dalmation PUPPIES, about anything else, not so much.

ManchuCandidate November 1, 2012 at 11:16 am

I can't wait for the swarms of GOPers to come after said astrologist and yell at him for fudging the troof that Mittens will win with 550 bajillion electoral votes.

JustPixelz November 1, 2012 at 11:18 am

Did astrology send Hurricane Sandy so Gov'ner Sammiches would say nice things about "That One"? Because if it wasn't astrology, that means God did it to either a)punish America for have teh gheys, or b) help Obama win. I'm not a religious fella by nature, but if God wants to Obama to win, Sandy was a crappy way to tell us.

HistoriCat November 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

God has trouble remembering the password to his AOL account.

SayItWithWookies November 1, 2012 at 11:19 am

Wow — that astrologer dude's article has a lot of fuckin' verbiage and clearly occupied a great deal of his time. Thus clearly refuting Karl Marx's notion that labor adds value to a product.

Incitefully_Joe November 1, 2012 at 11:35 am

To be fair, having read Das Kapital… astrologer dude isn't exactly alone there.

doloras November 1, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Of course, Marx said SOCIALLY NECESSARY labour adds value, not just any monkey mashing at a typewriter.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 1, 2012 at 11:21 am

I'm a sagitarius and I will shoot your chakra in the ass with my bow and arrow.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

Saggs rulez!

Incitefully_Joe November 1, 2012 at 11:34 am

Centaur party over here!

Wait, that sounded kinda weird.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:39 am

Satyrical, even!

BadKitty904 November 1, 2012 at 11:35 am

I'm a Capricorn. Get back to work.

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I'm a scorpio. Kiss my poison ass.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 11:36 am

I'm a chancre cancer. Go away and leave me alone. And stay off my goddam lawn.

BigSkullF*ckingDog November 1, 2012 at 11:23 am

How many completely bullshit things exist because someone decided to put an -ology at the end of the word?

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

BRACKETOLOGY LIBEL!

Blueb4sinrise November 1, 2012 at 11:35 am

Somebody should study that.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:38 am

Ologyology?

bobbert November 1, 2012 at 1:49 pm

WTF-ology?

doloras November 1, 2012 at 6:08 pm

L Ron Hubbard has an answer to that question.

zumpie November 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

Even still, the astrology dude's more accurate than Dick Morris. And the people in Thurston's campaign

BTWBFDIMHO November 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

Talking about Karma, have you seen the new Fisker Karma, built with a $529 million loan guarantee from Obama's Department of Energy? I saw one on the highway, it's awesome, with a big solar panel on the roof. http://onward.fiskerautomotive.com/en-us/karma/ov
Hope the Fisker Karma runs over the Cadillac Dogma on Tuesday…

BadKitty904 November 1, 2012 at 11:36 am

Bamz has his own Department of Energy? What a man!

Biff November 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm

I have a dislike of 4-door cars, never liked them, but damn–that is one sexysexy car…

Lascauxcaveman November 1, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I'm sooo torn between that and the Tesla Model S when I finally win the lottery, which will be soon, I'm sure.

Maybe a Fisker for me and a Model S for the wife?

CindynEncinitas November 1, 2012 at 3:37 pm

If you want sexy, you can't beat my Studebaker Cruiser.

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 11:33 am

Astrology, meh. I rely on Magic 8-Ball for my prognostications. Or Ouija board.

boskolives November 1, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Please post again later

BaldarTFlagass November 1, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Without a doubt

Incitefully_Joe November 1, 2012 at 11:34 am

As a Crystal Child, I am pretty sure I am uniquely qualified to say that astrology is all complete bullshit.

Chet Kincaid_ November 1, 2012 at 11:40 am

Marilyin McCoo, yum!! She is dreamy!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm

And the Solid Gold dancers! also yum in addition.

fawkedifiknow November 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

Here's an asstrological prediction: It is guaranteed that when Nitmitt loses, the entire right wing universe will claim it was because of that damn hurricane showing up and allowing Barry to prove why he's the grooviest Pres evar!!

kyeshinka November 1, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Or granting women the right to vote. What the hell were they thinking?

DCBloom November 1, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Don't forget the wet-backs and Blahs!

doloras November 1, 2012 at 6:09 pm

No, they'll act like the Venezuelan Opposition, yell ¡FRAUDO! and try to sabotage everything for the next couple of years. So, no change.

Biel_ze_Bubba November 2, 2012 at 3:44 am

It would be cool if I got credit for a hurricane, for once.

actor212 November 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

Wait, are we using American astrology or Kenyan?

teebob2000 November 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

We saw a live stage production of Hair a few months ago. Got a big awkward sitting next to my 17-year-old step-daughter when all the naked penises suddenly sprang from the darkness. Not literally, but still…

Also hadn't seen that much pubic hair since "Debbie Does Dallas."

teebob2000 November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

A BIT awkward, not a BIG awkward… That was awkward…

iamrrm November 1, 2012 at 5:13 pm

It made perfect sense to me. I'm going to use the term "awkward" instead of "chubby" from now on.

SorosBot November 1, 2012 at 11:47 am

They've got to be true to the hygiene-deficient time period.

kyeshinka November 1, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Tell your stepdaughter to put on clothes next time. Other people have to use that seat when Annie Get Your Gun comes to town.

Tundra Grifter November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am

I'd post a comment, but I need to go get my auras scrubbed.

Again.

BTWBFDIMHO November 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm

After all, it's ok if Romney wins. I can't wait to see the federal budget balanced by 2040.

calliecallie November 1, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I skimmed that whole article. Please don't berate me for buying it, so much of it made sense. Romney has his moon in scorpio, and you know what that means…

But what I really want this astrologer to do is give me the skinny on Old Handsome Joe Biden's chart. Yum.

tbogg November 1, 2012 at 12:34 pm

So we both quoted Age of Aquarius on the same day. I guess it was foretold by the stars

DahBoner November 1, 2012 at 12:44 pm

An oldie, but a goodie…here's a prediction:

Stupid people grow up to be racist Conservatives: http://www.livescience.com/18132-intelligence-soc

oenspiek November 1, 2012 at 12:47 pm

It's not a prediction till a sacrificial animal's liver has been examined!

dr_giraud November 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Yes, ask Mothra. Maybe her two little sidekicks will sing the answer.

Nostrildamus November 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I can't tolerate the Astrology crap, but I like the song.

LibertyLover November 1, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Mitt's numerology charts show that he hasn't paid all of his taxes.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr November 1, 2012 at 2:56 pm

As a Leo I just have to ask, why isn't this post about me?

CindynEncinitas November 1, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Here in the vortex where we force children to wear saffron robes and levitate in kindergarten, I can tell you that the tea leaves predict it's the dawning of the Age of Obaminarius, bro. But, sadly, we are probably going to re-elect the fucktard Brian Bilbray, again, because we're that stupid. His commercial showing him walking around in a wetsuit made me want to retch.

fuflans November 1, 2012 at 4:19 pm

normally – as a cynical gen y girl working in the touchy feely arts world and always fighting hippies, patchouli and new age crap – i'd be the first to mock this.

after the last six months, imma gonna play that song on tuesday night in bloomberg's honor.

ttommyunger November 1, 2012 at 7:39 pm

My dad, an ordained Baptist Preacher all of his adult life, once gave me a book on Astrology for my birthday. I've never figured that one out and also never asked him about it, but I still wonder: what the fuck was up with that?

Guppy November 1, 2012 at 9:08 pm

☌☽♅

And I don't care what the hippies on LDS say, it's the Age of Pisces, dammit!

emmelemm November 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Good one.

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