How’re your chakras? Are they shimmery and light? They aren’t constipated and sludgy, we hope! How’s your crystals? Helping you channel Ramses or Mothra or whatever? Great! What about your chart? Have you checked your chart lately? Is Mercury in retrograde? Is something else in something else? Has Jupiter aligned with Mars? Who does this dumb astrologer think will win the election?

Well, this dumb astrologer, Paul Saunders, thinks Barack Nobumer will win the election. AS IF. The stupid astrologer doesn’t even get his birthplace right: he claims B. Barry Bamz was born in HONOLULU. Therefore, ignore the many thousands of words about charts and natals and ascendants (we did!), as it is founded on A LIE. (Still better founded than Joe Scarborough’s gut, probably.)


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