sorry megs mccabe you're still dead to us

Megan McCain Wants to Know if Her Party Will Betray God, Acknowledge Existence of Climate Change

Here’s an interesting question: what if one of America’s oldest and greatest cities was covered in ocean water and subjected to a once-in-a-lifetime style weather event because the moon happened to be full when a tropical hurricane drifted north and collided with an arctic storm? If that happened, do you think that the GOP might want to stop pretending that climate change doesn’t exist? This is what “political analyst” Megan McCain wants to know. (Yes, the Hill actually refers to her as “political analyst” Megan McCain.) Anyway, can we stop pretending we don’t believe in anthropogenic climate change, GOP, is what she wants to know? And the answer is OF COURSE NOT, DUH.


So are we still going to go with climate change not being real fellow republicans [sic]?” [Megan] McCain wrote, via Twitter, around midnight as the storm was slamming ashore.

McCain’s father has advocated for curbing greenhouse gas emissions and co-sponsored cap-and-trade bills several years ago.

However, substantial numbers of Republicans now dispute widely held scientific views about global warming and the extent of humans’ contribution.

 

This, of course, is a charitable depiction of Republicans’ views on climate change. Joe Barton, a Congressman from Texas (of COURSE) believes that the wind is “God’s way of balancing heat.” So if you want to build wind turbines, you better really think hard about it because you could MAKE THE PLANET EVEN HOTTER through messing with God. And then there’s Representative John Shimkus who has managed to sit on the House Energy and Commerce Committee even though he turns to Genesis for guidance on climate change. God said he wouldn’t destroy the earth with a flood again so we should take Him at his word, and that’s why John Shimkus does not believe we should worry about climate change. So sorry Megan McCain, and sorry to any of you who are currently without power and surrounded by waist-high water—don’t worry! Tide goes in, tide goes out. Sun goes up, sun goes down. Never a miscommunication. This is the work of God, and God would NEVER allow for anthropogenic climate change.


[The Hill]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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207 comments

  1. Come here a minute

    If there's any climate change at all, it's Godthropogenic, because my Bible tells me so!

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Just one cold day in Hell, and they'd be pointing to it for a decade as proof that there's no warming.

        Someone should make a list of all the fundie dumbfucks that the GOP has appointed to science and technology committees. It's a deliberate effort to paralyze the work of Congress, and I think it's fucking treasonous.

  2. Tommmcatt_Again

    Megs is just cold creepin' me out with her reasonableness and sanity. What happened to the zaftig post-teen we used to mock, for the stupidity and boob shots?

    Com'on, Meggie, throw me a bone here!

      1. Tommmcatt_Again

        I'm actually gay, so the alternate meaning of "throwing a bone" did not occur to me in this context.

        In the context of that lovely Asian boy on The Walking Dead, however…

  3. Loch_Nessosaur

    God may never cover the earth in water again but that Mother Nature is a real bitch and has the final say.

  4. iburl

    Megan McCain, your attempts to introduce facts and science to your backwards snake-handling hillbilly party are sexy, but nothing more.

  5. CindynEncinitas

    Obviously God sent this weather to New Yawk because all the Wonketteers (like your Actor212 and such) are so profane on this Wonkette. Drrrrr.

    1. DustyBowlBlues

      Wouldn't it be a hoot if some NROer or Red Stater claimed that? Think of the publicity and the trolls we cd have fun ignoring. (Always ignore–they'll go away. DustBowlBlues rule for Troll Expulsion.

    2. sewollef

      Well…. fuck you very much, I might say…. IF I was a profane personage. But I'm not.

      And anyhow, I'm still recovering from a 60ft tree impaling itself into my house thanks to fucking Sandy-on-the-rag, Monday night.

  6. memzilla

    "So are we still going to go with climate change not being real fellow republicans [sic]?”

    Once again, Megan McCain is writing about her boobs.

  7. Crank_Tango

    Republicans believe in climate change–they just think it's the gay marriage that is causing it. Or HAARP. Could be HAARP.

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Please explain this HAARP business. I'd google it but I depend only on Wonket for my news. Well, Wonket and what the squirrels tell me.

      1. GeorgiaBurning

        High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program- the military set up high power shortwave and radar transmitters up in Alaska to pump megawatts of energy into the ionosphere near the magnetic pole. Its supposed to be for research and radio communication experiments (don't get me started THERE) but conspiracy theorists go loco about it. It's conceivable that it could fuzz up guidance on ICBM's heading over the polar region, among other things.

      2. bobbert

        High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. A real gummint (USAF, DARPA) research program that, iirc, tries to modify the ionosphere's electromagnetic properties to enhance (or possibly disrupt?) radio communication. It does this by shooting radio waves into the ionosphere (loosely speaking).

        There is a conspiracy theory about it that it is actually a weather-control thing.

  8. SorosBot

    Substantial numbers of Republicans now dispute widely held scientific views, period.

    Oh and the word is not "scientific 'views'", it's "facts"; and it's not "dispute", it's "deny, despite the fact that these facts are proven reality, and these Republicans are completely 100% wrong and anyone who refuses to believe it is a total fucking moron".

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Substantial numbers of Americans are stupid; Democrats have a few of them, Libertarians a bit more, but the balance of them are Republicans.

        1. weejee

          So the Rethugs are the party of the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which because of that damned negative on the entropy says things gotta get moar crazy?

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Shh – you are disturbing the C Street House prayer meeting/press conference/policy session. The reporters from the Hill are always down on their knees here worshiping.

  9. fuflans

    can somebody please explain what is happening with the wonkettes? i know it's halloween and all but i feel like i'm stuck in a particularly acrid nightmare.

        1. MissTaken

          It did! And no, there was no relief Rolls in the bullpen warmed up. They actually had people pushing the car to City Hall complete with Bochy carrying the World Series trophy inside.

    1. HistoriCat

      Servers were down this morning. Teh Wonkette was posting stories on their Tumblr site … so now that everything is back up, we are being hit with a full day's worth of posts.

      1. Chet Kincaid_

        Tumblr stopped working too. And what are these "full day's worth of posts" of which you speak? All I get is this one. And the comment section is useable, but missing a style sheet or something.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          That's weird. Mine's all back to normal, except for the new post every five minutes which will hopefully slow down now…

          1. bobbert

            Interesting. Seems okay here. Something something cookies java console css rev abp settings it's all fucking magic isn't it?

        2. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Go to the bottom of the page. It looks like we have to click through one by one. This is, of course, the worst thing anyone is going through anywhere ever.

  10. rocktonsam

    may be New York is the new New Orleans on gods bucket list.

    may be Megan's boobs have special powers

  11. Tequila Mockingbird

    “And lo, there spaketh a harlot with big bosoms, begat of the father whose time was defeated, and lo, no one heard.” – Lobotomy 48:37

    1. bobbert

      OT: Thanks for the effort, but I failed to come upon your reply in time, and the file had been reabsorbed by the tubez. I'll just have to use my imagination.

  12. PubOption

    God has become more selective, he is not going to destroy the world again, just New Orleans, Gulfport, New York, parts of the Jersey shore, Haiti…..

  13. HistoriCat

    God said he wouldn’t destroy the earth with a flood again so we should take Him at his word

    "However, I didn't say anything about keeping you stupid assholes from destroying yourselves." – God

      1. BadKitty904

        "They have tails like scorpions, and stings; and in their tails is their power to hurt men…"
        ~ Revelations 9:10

        So, yes.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Silly. Don't you know that GOD means that I'm not reponsible for anything I don't want to be? It's all GOD's will!

      Except abortion.

      And black people.

    2. HogeyeGrex

      Also, too:

      I was looking at some Blartblart's Ghost article about climate change. In the comments one particularly ignant dipstick said: "Really, you think that the mortal man can effect the planet Earth….!!!!"

      I very nearly registered just to tell him to ask all the fishermen on Cannery Row.

      Oh, dear Bob. I went back to find the quote and ran across a response that was even worse.

      "Read the bible once in a while…The Angels in the four corners of the earth are responsible for the weather.

      NOT MAN NOR GLOBAL WARMING. When will man stop ""thinking" they have control over…anything?"

      Ah. The Party of Personal Responsibility.

      Okay. Now how do I wash off the stupid?

  14. Joshua Norton

    the Hill actually refers to her as “political analyst” Megan McCain

    It's a good think that Meg's daddy has big bucks. Otherwise she probably would have had to strip her way through Community College.

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      It's a good think that Meg's daddy has big bucks.

      You spelled "mommy" wrong there.

      It is hilarious how all the Republican blowhard big men live off their wives, from WALNUTS! to Chris Chris Christie. R-Money at least inherited his own goddamned money.

  15. Lot_49

    "Political analyst" or "Republican/Democratic strategist" are cable news terms for "people with no qualifications to discuss anything but whom we want to put on teevee anyway," e.g.: Mark Halperin, Al Sharpton, Mary Matalin, anybody on Fox, etc.

    Additional nominees welcome.

  16. hagajim

    The GOP will start believing in climate change as soon as the Koch Brothers start underwriting it.

  17. Schmannnity

    The Republicans have a point. If natural selection were real, how can you explain Reps. Barton and Shimkus?

  18. rickmaci

    Maybe if she included some side bewb pics, the R's would eventually soften up a bit on their global warming position.

  19. Goonemeritus

    Considering the average Wonkette poster was born during the Truman administration you might want to slow down a little.

    1. IceCreamEmpress

      Anthropogenic hair lightening!

      Also, in this post-pubes era, how does anyone ever prove their headsuit is natural?

    2. boskolives

      She won't be able to prove it by having the carpet match the drapes, like all the young she's going with hard wood floors. Just thinking about that I usually get hardwood, but her daddy sort of scares me away..

  20. WhatTheHeck

    For Republicans, climate change can only occur if the rape of the land, sea and air is legitimate because Mother Earth cannot then heal herself. But so far, the rape of the environment is illegitimate so no climate change.

    I’m so confused.

  21. VodkaGoGo

    Joe Barton, a Congressman from Texas (of COURSE) believes that the wind is “God’s way of balancing heat.”

    I forgot that he said this and I still don't really know what he meant by it. Is it like when a house is on fire in say, Queens NY and God sends the wind at it to balance the distribution of the fire to the rest of the neighborhood?

    1. sewollef

      You mean Breezy Point, right? That's the place that currently looks like a war zone right now. What with smoldering wreckage everywhere and people looking stunned at the wreckage of what was their homes.

      And folks, let's not forget, these were white people. Those poor blahs in the Bronx without electricity, gas, damaged roofs, smashed windows and whatnot…

      … it's a nice day today here in New York though. Quick. Look over there.

    2. Negropolis

      Remember, this is the guy that apologized to BP on behalf of Congress for the company's massive oil spill in the Gulf.

  22. SigDeFlyinMonky

    I'm talking about power, Chuck-o.

    Well I know you are, or you wouldn't be here.

    Look! It heard the word "power" and responded! Just like we do!

  23. CthuNHu

    When I need to know about massive turbulent orbs getting progressively hotter and wetter and wilder until the demand for public attention is irresistible, I turn to Megan McCain.

  24. SavageDrummer

    Just give up Megan… You know that as soon as your dad kicks off you'll be a Democrat… Also… Call me!

    1. PugglesRule

      Being the only GOP analyst who seems to reside in the fact-based community, she might be their only scientific authority.

  25. AngryBlakGuy

    …Now that we will be living in a submerged, landless water world, should I be stocking up on water wings?!

  26. pinkocommi

    The right-wingers won't acknowledge the existence of the well-documented and confirmable science on climate change, but the existence of god, the burning bush and immaculate conception? Sure! No problem!

  27. BerkeleyBear

    Shimkus was actually 1 of 3 reps who had a piece of Springfield when I lived there (basically gerrymandering the city and region so that you had 2 red and 1 blue district and not the opposite – the Dems just redid it, but I'm not sure to what effect). Every time I saw his constituent office (in a strip mall, natch) I was a) reminded of his idiotic comments about flooding and b) the irony that his district covered the local University of Illinois campus and hence one of the most secular/thoughtful parts of town. Of course, it also covered a shitload of idiots to drown out their voices, but it was like a double whammy to the professors there, most of who already viewed themselves as living in a mental backwater.

  28. Botlrokit

    Rainbows once meant that god would never destroy the world again. Congratulations, gays! Rainbows are now yours, because god defaulted.

    edit: Also, technically, God didn't destroy anything. Viruses are less efficient at killing, but just as capable. World's still here. He's a loser sissy.

  29. Callyson

    Since it has only now just started to cool off from the never fucking ending summer here in Los Angeles, I have zero patience with climate change deniers. Zero.

  30. CommieDad

    You know, I could just sit and listen to Meghan talk for hours.

    Okay, maybe listen is going too far.

  31. fuflans

    i am watching bamz's press conference with gov chris christie.

    gov chris christie visibly perked up when bamz mentioned the guy cooking for 18 hours.

    1. LagunaB

      There is a picture of Obama greeting Christie today. Christie looked like he was about to burst into tears and hug Obama. I've got some friends from the coast staying here now. They were with family through the storm. Couldn't get back out to their house, road-blocks, so when I contacted them, they ended up here. We went out today to 'clean-up'…..

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      For all the fun we have at Gov. Crisco's expense, the guy is an honest dealer. So is Obama, and it's no surprise they actually get along well when the politics is put on the back burner. We could use more of these guys in government; with luck there would be more Dems than GOPpers, but even if not I'd gladly have more of them.

      {/snark on}

  32. MacRaith

    It would take God himself appearing in front of the entire GOP and saying, "Hey, don't put this one at my feet! You did this to yourselves!" to change the minds of conservatives on this issue.

    Actually, I'm not even sure that would do it. They'd just call God a RINO.

      1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        "the cloud appears to have smooth, round puffs hanging from its underside."

        I gotta get outside more often.

  33. Terry

    Once again, I'd like to brag that I brought Joe Barton to the verge of tears during his first term in Congress. He came to our grad level policy class at Texas A&M and didn't anticipate that we'd ask him actual questions. I asked him how kissing Newtie's arse benefited his constituents. I said it slightly nicer than that. He blathered, I wouldn't let go, asking for specifics on what the arse kissing did for the district. His hands started to shake, he started clearing his throat, and he looked like he's chew off his own foot if that would have gotten him out of this.

    1. cousinitt

      Gentlemen, we in the free world now face a pixel gap. It's them or us. Now, let's do our patriotic duty and overtake our enemy with all the damned pixels we can mine!

  34. Baba_NinjaCat12

    At this point in time, it's too little, too late to reverse global warming. Washington, D.C. will be under water in the near future but on the bright side, they'll get a wicked wave.

  35. LibrarianX

    How can one believe in Intelligent Design and still account for Steve King (embarrassment – Iowa)?

  36. DahBoner

    Genesis 26:4 And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed.

    Here God tells Isaac that his descendents (Hebrews) will be as numerous as the stars. Considering the number of stars there are in the universe, that would have to be on the order of 10 20 Jewish people.

    Until God makes a hell of a lot more Jews, I ain't buying that shit…

  37. avocado876

    Love Wonkette. But please a) spell properly, and b) don't correct people when they don't need to be corrected.

    First: Meghan McCain's name is spelled "Meghan McCain," not "Megan McCain," as you've spelled it four of four times in this post, and in the headline. And this — "So are we still going to go with climate change not being real fellow republicans" — which you've marked with a cute little "[sic]"… Read it again. What's wrong with it, dude? If anything, "Megan" is guilty of omitting a comma after "real." And before you do insist on that comma (if that is indeed your beef with Meghan's tweet), ask yourself if it was worth the snark of a "sic," and also ask yourself whether a missing, optional comma is a larger or smaller infraction than spelling a public figure's name wrong five times in a short blog post.

    Thing is, Chris (sorry, Kris: same shit though, right?), sites like this don't work if they don't get the basics right.

  38. Incitefully_Joe

    God was probably the reason I couldn't read wonkete at work today.

    God was also the reason the vacation day I was supposed to have tomorrow got recinded because staffing issues.

    God's a dick, is my point. This is probably also why he keeps gifting women with rape-babies.

  39. docterry6973

    Will the GOP continue to deny climate change? Of course they will, right up to the minute that they call it a disaster and blame the Democrats for it.

  40. Negropolis

    Well, since colors weren't invented until much later, it has to be narrowed down to black, white and fifty shades of gray….

  41. MonkeyBiz

    I don't know whether it would be possible to titty fuck some sense into Meghan McCain, but I'd sure like to try.

  42. thefrontpage

    The Meghan McCain Institute for Scientific Study (MMISS)
    Press Release
    For Immediate Release

    Nov. 1, 2012 (Los Angeles)—The Meghan McCain Institute for Scientific Study (MMISS) plans to release its latest scientific, academic research paper on global warming and climate change today, Thursday, Nov. 1, 2012, in Los Angeles. This groundbreaking research paper is the culmination of five years of worldwide environmental and natural resource scientific research by the world's most-respected scientists.

    continued…

  43. thefrontpage

    "The results of this innovative study, utilizing research scientists from the world's top universities, clearly proves that global warming and climate change are very real, and a very serious threat to all humans and all wildlife, worldwide," said Meghan McCain, MMISS' Founder, President and Chief Executive Officer. "We need to show the world that global warming and climate change are very real, and pose a very real risk to our planet. We need to take immediate steps worldwide to combat this very real, very serious environmental problem."

    The 1,000-page scientific study will be available at the press conference. Several scientists from the world's leading scientific institutions will speak at the press conference.

    ###

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      "Several scientists from the world's leading scientific institutions will speak at the press conference."

      And a dozen Teatards will stand in the back chanting "USA! USA!" Faux News blowhards will then bloviate about how the 'tards clearly won the debate.

  44. ttommyunger

    I would love to pork young Megs; but only if it were videotaped. Sending Walnuts and the Ice Queen Mother a copy would be fucking primo!

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