And now is the time when we RACE RIOT!

This is serious. Not only can Barack Obama control the weather, but now — like a Roman emperor, or “czar,” he controls the calendar too. 

WASHINGTON – If Barack Obama loses the election to Mitt Romney, his official White House move-out day won’t be Jan. 20, as most have assumed.

If a new president is elected Nov. 6, he won’t be officially and publicly sworn in until Jan. 21, 2013 – which happens to be Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a federal holiday.

That’s the determination of the Presidential Inaugural Conference, because Jan. 20 falls on a Sunday in 2013.

It’s not exactly a state secret that the 57th Inauguration in the nation’s history will take place on Jan. 21, Martin Luther King Day – but it will surely come as news to most Americans. Obama, the first black president, was sworn in on the traditional Inaugural date of Jan. 20 – the day before the holiday.

Just like Nobama, to sit around conspiring with the days of the week! And not only that, but because he will be re-inaugurated on Martin Luther King Day, many people of color on Twitter will riot! (Tweets of black people promising to riot elided for you, dear reader, as it is far too early in the morning for WND’s special brand of shrieking racism. Let’s just say it’s a special blend of the “Obamaphone” and coming-for-your-wives varieties.)

Be careful out there, Wonkers. God only knows what else Nobama controls — like Wonkette’s servers probably also too.


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  • We're back, baby!

    • YouFail4eva

      and now we're gone again. Bye!

    • HistoriCat

      Finally! I was beginning to think I would have to work or something.

  • SexySmurf

    Thank Allah, Wonkette's back. I was so desperate to know what was going on in the world I actually went to Huffington Post.

    Now I feel all dirty.

    • YouFail4eva

      There, there. You may never be clean again, but here, we're all dirty!

    • Shouda gone to 538, Saint Nate now has a Bamz win at 77.4% !!! Rmoney's oh so faux McWalmart foodz for the blown will morph into hiz Miffed of Hair Gel's political demise.

      • Lot_49

        Red Cross say, "No thanks, Mittens; canned goods in Ohio aren't much use to us in New Jersey.

        Mitt's staffers say, "What if nobody brings any canned goods to the rally support meeting?" and run out and buy $5,000 bucks worth of hobo beans, Cheerios, etc, to hand out so it looks munificent.

        Mitt say, "It's just like when you have to clean up the polo field after the seventh chukka…everybody just spread out along the baseline and move down the field, don't leave any divots please, and watch out for horse poop."

        The man is a genius, leading a team of similarly tone-deaf genii.

        • SorosBot

          But he just wants to help the victims! So what if actual relief organizations say never to donate goods, they just waste their time and actually harm the relief efforts.

          • 'Zactly. The Red Cross wants blood and money. Ante-up Wonkers!

          • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

            I haz neither blood nor moneez.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Oh, I went there too. Went to a lot of places I never go. It was like that Seuss book "Oh The Places You'll Go!" I was sure out of my comfort zone, though.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I had to go there too. It was absolutely horrifying. To make matters worse, I almost registered to comment there.

      • I almost registered to comment there

        As 'Egg Rmoney'?

    • cousinitt

      I went back to TPM. I left there when they went Farcebook on commenters. It was ok, just not much fun and it's turning into just another poll dancing site.

    • mrpuma2u

      Yes by teh grace of Ahuramazda the wonkette hamsters are spinning the server wheels again. What does it take, exactly, SS to make YOU feel dirty? Enquiring minds want to know.

      • SexySmurf

        Something about Miley Cyrus working with a "HOT" porn star. I wasn't able to read the story as I was throwing my laptop across the room and crawling into the fetal position.

        • mrpuma2u

          Yeah that is spew stimulus material fer shizzle.

    • CommieDad

      I only go to Huff Post to get the latest nude shots of celebs, and to see exactly how crazy some of the trolls are.

      Did you know they call Obama the "Usurper." WTF? He didn't exactly steal the election (like the republican whose name I don't say as it reminds me of my favorite type of porn pubic haircut).

      • SorosBot

        He usurped the right of the whites to the oval office.

    • Gleem McShineys

      Sideboob is a helluva drug.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Yeah, but I always find myself on the sideboob page when I wander over there. So there's that.

    • MegPasadena

      Ha, ha! me, too.

  • doloras

    Riot! The unbeatable high! Tomorrow you're homeless, tonight it's a blast!

    • kittensdontlie

      Calling out around the world
      Are you ready for a brand new beat
      Election's here and the time is right
      For rioting in the streets…

  • pinkocommi

    January 20 is blah Sunday.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I'm still smirking at that one lone OWS protester, Sandy.

  • Huzzah, Becca and the eds have swept the Sandy from the Wonkette hard drives.

  • badseeds

    That's stupid. Everyone knows that Uncle Joe Biden is in charge of controlling the calendar.

    • oenspiek

      Well-known! Part of the 'fourth branch' made notorious by Cheney — but STILL ON THE BOOKS!!!1!(one)

      Now they come for your calendars and almanacs, TOMORROW for your tequila and TruckNutz!

  • But where's the Wonkette classy-fied's I envisioned would be sparkling in its new-launched glory on the sidebar, after a lengthy and laborious tweaking while obscured from browser view?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I really missed my Wonkette today.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    "And let me tell you about Donkey doing it with a dragon-have they no shame?" Oh. Sorry. That's Shreking racism.

  • AlterNewt

    It's all over in December anyway. Check your Mayan calender.

  • I blame all this on Julius Ceasar.and Pope Gregory XIII.

  • DaniloTifoso


    • Steverino247

      Go away.

  • DaSandman

    Ah the long dreaded Negro Uprising.

    They should have done it years ago

  • bikerlaureate

    How dare they schedule the inauguration on a federal holiday.


  • SexySmurf

    Who knows what Nobama will do with that extra day? I'm guessing either impose Sharia Law, or implement his Socialist agenda that takes exactly four years and one day to implement but can't be implemented before then.

    • SorosBot

      And finally take all the guns away!

  • SorosBot

    It's worse than that, people; Martin Luther King Sr. was part of the same TimeLordCommieIslamoFascist conspiracy as Barack Obama Sr., and purposefully had his son the day on January 20, the day that would be made inauguration day four years after his birth, just so they could inspire, you know, those people to riot in overthrown the US for the final takeover!

    • CindynEncinitas

      I always knew the blahs knew each other…

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Makes sense, he had the power to make the oceans rise to make himself look like a responsive leader in a Republican Governor's devastated state; QED, he controls the calendar.

  • CindynEncinitas

    I actually clicked through to see the Dugger creature's new haircut! And I couldn't even post the one word that I thought: FUCKTARD!

    • If they didn't sew her hoo haa shut, that makeover was a missed opportunity.

  • mrpuma2u

    I have a dream, that on January 21st Willard Romney will be riding his car elevator in San Diego, sobbing softly.

    • Steverino247

      And that it malfunctions, dropping him and his car to the bottom where he will have a real reason to cry.

    • Gleem McShineys

      "To the basement floor, Jeeves."

  • CommieDad

    This is serious guys. The constitution of the United States* clearly indicates that the term ends on January 20th at noon. Nowhere does it say, unless this is Sunday and the President is a Blah.

    *As amended in section 1 of the 20th Amendment. Traditionally, according to Wikipedia, fount of all knowledge, the Chief Justice administers the oath privately on the 20th to make it all legit, and then again publicly on Monday or some other day that doesn't interfere with football.

    • CommieDad

      If Romney IS sworn in on January 21st (publicly), then he will likely not get to all those Day One promises until, well, at least Day Two.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The inaugural used to be in March. & not the twentieth, either. Instead, March 4. Which was Constitution Day.

      We must ask, then — why the change? Is it the BIG CHANGE Rmoney represents? & as a strict constructionist, obviously Rmoney supports the Constitution, & it, Rmoney. So, then, we must ask also — why does the Constitution hate the Constitution?

  • HistoriCat

    Ooh – they're tossing all the posts up at once. Race you to the other end – no fair to not read all the comments!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If Matt Stafford can improve his game a little and get the ball to Megatron, maybe the race riot in Detroit could be held in conjunction with a celebration of a Lions' playoff victory.


  • Generation[redacted]

    Don't worry, the Freeper SAV sniper squads will take care of any rioting.

  • TootsStansbury

    Yay! My Wonkit is back! I wouldn't even care if these posts were about LiLo or Sarah Palin!

    • emmelemm

      You say that now…

  • Not_So_Much

    Today, we are all 'Wonkette Servers'.

  • qwerty42

    Jaysus, more hysteria from WND.
    OTOH, welcome back!!!

  • kissawookiee

    Thank god we're back! I have been waiting all day to make this totally o/t complaint: In what bound-for-the-fire world is it anywhere near right and just that this slightly fuzzy penis-headed man is getting laid, and I am not?

  • GhostBuggy

    Which one of you is Panther Biddness?

  • not that Dewey

    This isn't the first time NOBAMA has played fast and loose with the calendar. In 2012, he (or one of his proxies in the Marxist National Institute of Standards and Technology) made the year one second longer than it's supposed to be, thereby giving himself an electoral advantage.

    • SorosBot

      It's worse than that; he added an extra day to the calendar too!

      • not that Dewey


  • CommieLibunatic

    Who wants to bet they'd shriek about violating the Day of Rest on Sunday if he did it on the 20th? Past experience tells me NOTHING will please these fuckfaces.

  • Naked_Bunny

    Good of WND to remind us that conservative dislike of Obama is due to his policies, not the color of his skin.

  • LibertyLover

    Did Rebecca get drunk and dunk the Wonkette into the Porcelain File Cabinet containing water, again?

  • dennis1943

    The Obama Calendar……..has a nice ring to it………..

  • editor

    underwhelmed by obama's power over calendars.

    here in california (employed by the dread public educational system–see ann romney), i do not have to go to work on cesar chavez day (yay!), but am forced to come in on veterans day, which is a pain in the butt, as public transport does think this is a a holiday.

    can we get some big government to sort out this shit once and for all, please?

  • ttommyunger

    Has anyone else noticed that this event is always held on a day of the week ending in "ay"? This is serious, somehow.

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