intolerable acts

Wingnut Reverend Teaches Us 3 Words Wrecking US Amercia: Tolerance, Diversity, & … Uh, Oops!

Yeah, it's Ziggy, biotchez. NOW I bet you miss the ponies, huh?
You know what we don’t have enough of in our great modern American U.S. society of today? FEAR. Not only is Sesame Street indoctrinating children with the dangerous notion that they shouldn’t fear monsters, the poor dears are also being told, over and over again, that they have to “get along” with “others.” Well by golly, Rev. Michael P. Orsi has had about as much of this nonsense as he can take (we think maybe he saw a white dude holding hands with an Ay-rab dude, or maybe it was a Messican, who can tell?), and he wants to set us straight (no pun intended) about a thing or three:

There are three dirty words that are being used to subvert traditional morality in Western society: tolerance, diversity and welcoming.

These words are liberally used (no pun intended) in education, by the media, and even by our Churches. In themselves, they seem quite innocuous. To the untrained ear they sound like commendable practices geared toward helping folks who are “different” get along.

The fact of the matter is that these words are being used to lull us into an amoral complacency. They are being used as the vanguard for conditioning unsuspecting minds in the regnant Philosophy of Relativism.

Traditional morality and ethics depends on religion, custom, tradition and a sense of revulsion. Obviously, the three dirty words allow for no such standards or restrictions.

Yes, he went there. There can be no morality without a very highly developed “sense of revulsion.” In fact, reading Rev. Orsi’s column, we find ourselves feeling very, very “moral.” (BOOM!)

He then carefully unpacks what each of these terrible concepts entails:

Tolerance: This word implies that, at worst, there is no measurable standard for right or wrong, or at best that we have no right or obligation to correct those in error.

Tolerance does not connote the virtue “patience,” which must be exercised in leading a person to the truth or, for example, a child to good behavior.

Oh! We KNOW this one! We wrote a whole bigass paper on tolerance for a political science class our very first semester in grad school, and it had footnotes and everything, AND it got an “A,” so we feel quite confident in proclaiming Rev. Orsi a big doodyhead on this matter. Tolerance is not utter relativism. Tolerance is a conscious political choice to put up with ideas we disagree with, or even abhor, for the greater good of another value you teabagging morons claim to like, “Liberty.” It’s the alpha and the omega of why the ACLU goes to court to protect the free speech of Nazis, the Westboro Baptist Church, and idiots like the Rev. Michael Orsi, who worries that “acceptance of the oxymoron ‘same sex marriage'” will somehow restrict freedom rather than expanding it:

Viewed in this light, “tolerance” is not virtuous. It blinds people to time-tested truth, cows people to silence or acceptance of that which they know is wrong. It is, ultimately, a politically correct way to effectively subvert freedom of speech.

Yes. Allowing someone else to believe wrong things is totally an infringement of your freedom, dude.

Diversity: This is the mantra of those who desire no unifying truth. The diversity crowd has taken over the academy.

There was a time when unity was celebrated. It stemmed from a belief in one God who revealed certain truths by which human beings were called to live. The most obvious expression of this was expressed in The Ten Commandments. For Americans, the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were designed for “E Pluribus Unam” [sic] (one from many).

Yeah, but then a bunch of filthy foreigns and negroidals started insisting on being considered part of the “many,” right? And that’s when things went downhill. Yeah, we’ve heard that song before, buddy, since the earliest days of the Republic. Yes, yes, we know — all those old prejudices were about ethnicities, but what you’re afraid of is P-E-N-I-S in the anus, which is totally different, somehow, because it’s about genitals, which you somehow just can’t stop thinking about.

Diversity usually begins in education with innocuous events like sponsoring a banquet with foods from different ethnic groups or instructing young people about various cultures. The indoctrination process moves from appreciating the lasagna, egg rolls, knishes and sushi, of diverse cultures to the surreptitious promotion of alternate life-styles which is code for “each to his own taste” in behavior.

Yes, that’s how it starts: “Here, Suzie, have some of this ‘Matzo’… made with the blood of Christian infants!” And then before you know it, nice white girls are making the beast with two backs with thuggish blackamoors, and you can’t tell the boys from the girls as they gyrate to the wild jungle rhythms of the rock and the roll!

The next step is to promote “pride” in any group one chooses to belong to, even if their preference contradicts traditional ethics, morality and good taste. While one’s taste in food is neutral in itself, barring, of course, cannibalism, (for now, anyway) how one behaves has grave social consequences. LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) pride is a prime example. Diversity, not right or wrong, is the new standard that is celebrated as a virtue. The chaos that ensues from diversity is destructive to good order in society

Yeah, we had a feeling that it was all headed toward your obsession with assfucking. OK, so let’s see if mybe the last bad word, “welcoming” is also about fear of buttsex…

Welcoming: This is a code word for “anything goes here.” It is now commonly used to indicate that whoever you are, whatever you believe, and whatever you do will not be challenged here….

Most people belong to groups to help them improve, change and be part of something greater than themselves. “Welcoming” shuns all of this since it encourages people to wallow in their smallness, to remain truculent when in error, and for those involved with religion to deny the need for redemption.

Yeah, screw it, it’s just a bunch more paragraphs about how homosex is going to lead to cannibalism, destroy civilization, and frighten the horses. And people who talk about tolerance, diversity and welcoming are really intolerant because they don’t welcome people whose traditional morality leads them to hate the ghey. Thing is, Orsi isn’t looking for “tolerance.” He’s looking for “agreement.” And frankly, we like our dirty words a lot better than his.


About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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  1. Lascauxcaveman

    We should all follow Jesus' example and just hate the fuck out of everyone who is not exactly like us.
    (BTW Dok Zoom. I must say you are just kicking ass all over these here Wonkette pages. It's like Jimmy Newell grew up, mellowed out a bit and got about seven post-graduate degrees. I am in constant amazement and amusement over the vast quantity and stunning erudition of your shit here. I don't think we commentors mention this often enough. )

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        You may borrow that for your (eventual) headstone:

        Here Lies Doktor Zoom. His Shit Was Erudite.

      2. emmelemm

        Agreed (with Caveman). In addition, your impressive collection of ponies, cartoons, old National Lampoons, and all such related items provide delicious spice to the stew.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Dirty little secret: I went and bought the DVD-ROM of the complete run of NatLamp.

          I once had the chance to purchase a whole big box of the original magazines, almost complete for the ealrly 70's, including the complete "Sunday Newspaper Parody," but the offer would have required me to also adopt two elderly, obese Corgis that I really could not have provided a good home for.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            I've still got quite a few of my originals, but they are in boxes out in the garage and are probably full of silverfish. Going through that DVD really brought home to me how crucial a role it played in the development of my sense of humor.

          2. Radiotherapy

            I thought I was the only one who has a precious stash of old Natty Lamps. And I'm a fucking minimalist. There is, after all, a fine line between sentimentality and junk. Whatever did become of Ted Mann?

          3. tessiee

            I've got several boxes full of back issues in the laundry room, as well as a couple of the paperback collections, the Yearbook Parody, and at least three copies of "Bored of the Rings". It's amazing how good some of the writing is, and how well MOST of it has stood the test of time.

          4. Beowoof

            I know I should have bought the DVD long ago, but kids and their needs have kept most of my cash tied up. Now that some cash has freed up I am off to Amazon to get it.

          5. Mittaplasia

            I loved their sales pitch mailer with the guy holding up the puppy with a gun to its head saying, "Resubscribe or I'm gonna' shoot this dog!'

          6. OneDollarJuana

            I sold an almost complete set of the '70s Nat Lamps to some guy in Alaska a few years ago. He paid pretty good money for a bunch of well-loved magazines. Once in a while I miss them, especially M. K. Brown's very odd comics.

          7. tessiee

            If you're a Ripperologist, there's a graphic Jack the Ripper novel — or I should probably say a Jack the Ripper graphic novel — illustrated by Rick Geary.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          I remember that! I intend to make a portfolio of similar comments to support my demands for extra servings of gruel. Or fewer beatings.

      3. MittBorg

        Other than the Brony shit, you have been on a fucking amazing roll ever since you started. Don't ever get off.

        Wait, no, that didn't come out right.

      4. SayItWithWookies

        Your posts rock. And if I didn't get up around vampire-thirty on Sundays I'd participate a lot more in the Sunday ones — usually so much has already been said that I'm hard-put to write something that's not redundant. So I'm glad you're posting more frequently, is what I'm saying.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      If this prodigious output continues, Rebecca is going to have to change the name of the site to Dok-ette.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        OK, I'll go along with that. But only if he's completely burned out on snark by 2016. Otherwise, we need him right here.

          1. FeloniousMonk

            I think you can get by that pretty easily by claiming to know many stallions whose normal greeting is "How's it hanging, pony?" Plus tradition. Just don't say "oops" when you forget the name of a government department you want to abolish. Make it up: " …and the bureau of rainbows, hope and pots of gold".

            May I join the general lovefest by thanking you for the Carlin link? I'd never heard that version. By the time I saw him in 83, it was "700 Dirty Words", and a kind of free verse consisting of rapid-fire expletives broken up by flowery phrases like "spearing the bearded clam".

    2. slamtundra

      Yeah, man, what Le Caveman said. You are the bee's knees, my good Doctor. The bee's motherfucking knees.

    3. Dudleydidwrong

      Yes. Keep it up, Dok. Stretch our minds while we stretch whatever it is that we have in our hands.

    4. Negropolis

      And, Lascauxcaveman, let me just say that I'm impressed by how you slipped in "erudition of your shit here." It's a college-level word with just the right amount of vulgarity mixed in. Well played, good sir; well played.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        I have been haunting these Wonkette pages since the troubled and troubling election of ought-four, my friend. I have learned at the knee of many a master (and harsh mistress.)

  2. Tequila Mockingbird

    You mean I didn't have to eat that Jamaican Okra casserole on Diversity Day? That shit was like snotty chicken. Stupid progressive publik skool edumikashun.

    1. MittBorg

      Ohgeez. Nobody knows how to cook okra. You NEVER cook it in liquid, that makes it all mucilaginous.

      Eww, I gave myself the terwilligeegers just thinking about okra mucilage.

      1. finallyhappy

        Really good okra- find an Afghani restaurant- usullly they make a terrific spicy okra stew- no meat. In fact, Thursday- I think I need a trip to College Park(MD) and Food Factory II(the late Food Factory I was in Ballston but then became a smelly sports bar)

        1. MittBorg

          Will do. I love okra, and cook tons of it during the season (late summerish). My preferred method is to wash and then THOROUGHLY DRY the okra before cutting it. I then slice it lengthwise, but not all the way through, toss with salt, turmeric, and red chilli powder, and fry in oil to which I've added about 1 tsp. black mustard seeds and 1 tsp. kalonji seeds per pound of okra. Saute for about 5 minutes, then add 2-4 tomatoes, chopped, and cook till the tomatoes collapse. The resulting okra is heavenly, slightly crispy, dry, and spicy. We eat it by the pound.

      2. Beowoof

        The only okra that works for me is in Paul Prudhome's gumbo. There it is awesome. I think the steak, shrimp and big bunches of various pepper mixes helps a lot.

        1. MittBorg

          Ha! Will look for it. I love tasting new things. Although now that I'm totally unable to walk (just this week, no biggie) I should probably eat carefully.

          1. MittBorg

            Thanks, sweetie. You concentrate on fruitfly genetics. I made enormous quantities of two excellent stews. One with pork and sage and butternut squash and fennel, and the other with beef, red wine, potatoes, carrots, and lemongrass. We aren't going to starve to death at Eagleshit Towers this week.

          2. MittBorg

            Back, leg. Apparently something's happened to the sciatic nerve. Or so the surgeon says. At least the knee is fine. I could really use to not have any surgery at all for a few years, like ten.

      3. Bodeburu

        Here in Asia (where it is sometime known as ladyfingers), okra is a part of many cuisines. My favorite is bhindi masala, an Indian veggie dish made with okra (bhindi), tomato puree, onions, ginger paste, cashews and green chiles, with coriander and other spices. Great with garlic naan!

    2. mayor_quimby

      As a Jamaican descendant, I can assure you that we never make any goddamn okra casserole. That shit sounds terrible. And honestly, native Jamaicans don't make too many casseroles that I can think of.

      1. redarmyzombie

        No, but TBH it sounds like the sort of crap my brother-in-laws extended family in Mormonville would make up….

    3. Humberto_Echo

      You look a lot like Tamar Reid. I may be old and prone to clutching models of covalent bonds, but I'm not blind. You do know that Okra has been known to turn on its owner.

        1. PugglesRule

          Actually he is a Catholic priest with 80 gazillion Catholicish credits. (google them, yo). I suspect Pope B16 is his BFF.

      1. Disassembly

        Sounds kinda gay. Must mean that if we want to hate our neighbor we should hate ourselves. Abuse ourselves, you might say. Uh oh, that can't be tolerated either.

    1. smokingood

      Well, I'm not sure bout faith, last I checked blind faith was about the only thing they do approve of, but as for the other two, I'll go with "rebellion against 'God's Divine Plan'(TM)" and "enabling degenerate parasites."

    2. Negropolis

      Well, faith and hope are his favorites, but charity is a greedy, little bitch always asking for rent money and vacation money and money for abortions.

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      All you'd have to do is film the 2012 Democratic convention in black and white, and replace the soundtrack with martial outrage orchestral music. Just look at all the tolerant, diverse and welcoming Coloreds kicking up their heels!! This will not stand!!

      1. MittBorg

        It's not that "he felt bad enough." It's that the entire corpus of educated people spoke out against it. "Birth of a Nation" made him wealthy overnight. Intolerance was not just far less successful at the box office, it was also not that well made. Almost a grudging acknowledgment of the well-deserved criticism. The first one I couldn't sit through because it made my blood boil. The second one I couldn't sit through because it just wasn't that good. But YMMV.

    1. AngryBlakGuy

      …the teachings of Jesus are simply a rough guideline to the religious zealot, to which he or her can alter and twist to his or her liking! It's kinda like when you play scramble and you make up a word and hope no one calls you out on it!

    2. Disassembly

      Think not that I am come to fulfill the law, or the prophets: I am not come to fulfill, but to destroy.

    3. Dudleydidwrong

      It's called "pick-and-choose literalism" and most Revs pick-and-choose from the book like they pick-and-choose from their noses. Both make about the same amount of sense.

      1. MosesInvests

        Actually, he was murdered by the foreign military occupiers after having been turned over by collaborators.

        1. Designer_Rants

          He was a community organizer and was riling up the Little People with talk of equality, and he made an attempt at his day's "Wallstreet Reform" by disrupting the money changing in the temple. The extreme inequality of that society had produced an upper crust elite, and they didn't like what Jesus was doing to their wealth-extraction business models. And since the foreign military occupiers (Romans) were more served by a desperate-yet-productive status quo rather than complete social upheaval brought on by socioeconomic reorganization, they had no problem with nailing the guy to a cross to reestablish Law & Order.

          Don't worry, I'm not blaming the jooz. I could care less about religion, except when I perceive it being injected into my nation's laws.

          1. MosesInvests

            The upper-crust elite, ie the priests, were collaborators. The High Priest was in fact appointed by the Roman procurator. His job was to keep the tax money going to Rome and to keep the Jews quiet. They turned Jebus over to the Romans because they thought he was stirring up rebellion, or because they feared the Romans would think he was stirring up rebellion. If it was a purely internal matter, they would have taken care of it themselves (contra the Gospels, Jews *were* permitted to put people to death for "religious" offenses, but rebellion against Rome was for the Romans to deal with). Crucifixion was the Roman punishment for rebellious subject peoples and slaves.

          2. GregComlish

            Some historical context. At the time, Jerusalem was a pretty edgy place that was ready to revolt. There were sincere expectations that the messiah was going to come to help the Jews overthrow the Romans. There were lots of would-be messiahs going around and the Romans were executing them left and right. Passover was a particularly sensitive time of year, with a toxic mix of superstition, nationalism, and crowding. Jesus shows up on the eve of passover, getting people riled up, tossing over tables in the temple, and calling himself the son of God. The elites were quick to make an example out of him to enforce to law and order and that's what happened.

          1. MosesInvests

            Are you from the Judean People's Liberation Front, or the People's Liberation Front of Judea?

  3. Callyson

    the three dirty words allow for no such standards or restrictions

    Does this mean that the seven dirty words have been replaced, and we can use them everywhere now? Fuck yeah!

  4. Doktor Zoom

    Also, too, Cartoon Credit where credit is due:

    See, “diversity” used to be code for “black people,” but now it’s code for “gay people.” This represents the new PC horrorshow that awaits us under a Democratic-controlled Congress. Marriage is between one man and one woman, not a cat and two mice. Sickos.

    –Josh Fruhlinger, Your Comics Curmudgeon.

    1. Redgyal

      My guess is he supports the candidate who's religion only banned polygamy when it became inconvenient….because marriage is between ONE man and ONE woman.

  5. Callyson

    “tolerance”…is, ultimately, a politically correct way to effectively subvert freedom of speech.

    FFS, how stupid is this guy? Without tolerance, you can kiss freedom of speech goodbye…

    1. BadKitty904

      “War Is Peace”, "Freedom Is Slavery”, “Ignorance Is Strength”, etc., and other examples of Orwell's Newspeak…

    2. Swampgas_Man

      If you're in charge, you don't NEED "freedom of speech". "Tolerance" is just some malarky forcing you (assuming you're straight, white and male) to put up w/ those lesser than you.

      1. Fare la Volpe

        Hey hey hey, you were the sickos who invented that shit. How do you think Eve convinced Adam to eat the fruit?

  6. emmelemm

    nice white girls are making the beast with two backs with thuggish blackamoors, and you can’t tell the boys from the girls as they gyrate to the wild jungle rhythms of the rock and the roll!

    God damn it, now I'm horny too.

      1. emmelemm

        Truth will out: Subsequent to the Seattle drinky thingy, the esteemed Lionel Hutz, Esq. and I discovered an affinity for boinking each other.

        Wonkette personals: they're a good fucking idea.

          1. SayItWithWookies

            If you're thinking of me and Mumbletypeg, don't consider yourself under any such obligation — I just don't comment on parts of my personal life that I'm not willing to make fun of, and our relationship certainly isn't one of those things. But yes, wonkette is geek love central — it's like the dwarves on the set of The Wizard of Oz all up in here.

        1. Tommmcatt_Again

          Can we count on you two to create some wonkette spawn? I only ask because I am getting oldish and need something to dote over.

          1. emmelemm

            HA! Sorry, we're olds too. I may technically still be capable of producing an offspring for a few years, but, no.

            Now, I haven't seen a post from anniegetyerfun in a few days, mostly likely because she has just given birth. I guess technically it's not a 100% Wonkette baby since I don't think she met her husband on Wonkette, but I'm sure the little sprog is highly dote-worthy.

  7. WhatTheHeck

    Lookie here. If god didn’t want Diversity, he shouldn’t have split us up at the Tower of Babel or had Noah’s offspring marry furriners. It’s his fault.

    1. Woodshedding

      Except there WEREN'T any furriners, right? Wouldn't everyone except Mr and Mrs Noah have all drowned? Which means all these inbred morons are, AS THEY CLAIM, the chosen people, the only ones worthy of the title "human;" and the rest of us arrived on spaceships to watch the freakshow in horror. Whilst planning to eat them.

      1. Redgyal

        You do know that what they teach in Sunday school is that we are ALL descendants of Noah's children, right? Or did I miss some special lesson somewhere?

  8. SayItWithWookies

    Yeah, tolerance and welcoming and diversity are filthy, pernicious evils. And you know where they start? At that guy who belonged to a select, insular group and decided its way of life was so good that he was going to spread it to outside groups, despite the calumny and punishments thrown at him from his superiors, who knew better.

    And it's weird — I blame this guy for being a bullying, masturbation-obsessed pedophilic woman-hater, but I probably never gave him credit for the most liberal elements of our present society, which are now condemned by church leaders — reaching out to foreigners and those with different practices and beliefs and making accommodations for them. So — begrudgingly — thank you, St. Paul.

        1. SayItWithWookies

          Don't get me wrong, I abhor Paul — in fact, this is one of the rare occasions I don't refer to him as Saul of Tarsus. But I find it intensely interesting that current Christian leaders are condemning multiculturalism, which Saul embraced in order to spread his religion. Saul got in huge trouble with the church's elders because he didn't demand that newly-converted Christians observe circumcision or other Jewish traditions.

          So said church leaders are basically identifying with the Nazarene elders (including Jesus' brother) who created the rift between Judaism and Saulism.

          By the way, Saulism is the real name Christianity ought to have since, as Dispensationalists agree, the modern church's birth, if it could be identified in a chapter and verse, didn't occur during Matthew, Mark, Luke or John — it occurred in Acts of the Apostles. Thus modern Christianity was created by Paul, who never met or spoke to Jesus, and seemed remarkably ignorant of the Gospels on many occasions. It's Saul's religion, embodied by the figure of Jesus. As such, by the way, Paul didn't ruin Christianity — it was that way from the beginning.

  9. T3rbo

    Yes, Jesus was all about the will to power and judgement. Didn't he command us to change our neighbors into our own image and to command those who are not of us to become like us? And Jesus said "Verily, a polluted stream is man. One must be a sea to be able to receive a polluted stream without becoming unclean. What is good? All that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself." Thus spake Jesus.

  10. Fairtackle

    "There are three dirty words that are being used to subvert traditional morality in Western society: tolerance, diversity and welcoming."

    Jesus could not have said it better.

  11. CommieLibunatic

    Whoa Doc, I never had a problem with ponies. At least, not around here. What irks me is just a brony in the family who's also a hyper-Christian. Let me say that again: I know a guy who condemns gheys and all that, but loves a girly show with rainbows and friendship.

    If you look to the right of the tour bus, you'll see my brain full of an unnatural amount of fuck.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Ahhh, I'll never forget that panda. Fun times around your Wonket.

        And for all you Wonketteers who were around in those furry days … You might have noticed in the recent Pennsylvania Supreme Court battle over voter suppression, that the Court only had six, rather than the required seven members. That is because Justice Joan Orie Melvin was suspended pending multiple criminal charges. Those charges were made related to her sister, State Senator Jane Orie, being convicted of 14 counts of theft of services, conflict of interest, and forgery related to illegal Republican campaigning. And who is State Senator Orie? The panda's boss!

        1. redarmyzombie

          …I…was actually talking about something completely unrelated…but god-DAMN that's pretty bad too…

  12. gullywompr

    When I was young, this old creepy guy on our block asked me if I ever tried lasagna. I ended up as his sex slave.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Well, their play was definitely a sin against football. I bet Alabama could whip their ass right about now.

      1. PubOption

        To be consistent with their name, should the baseball Cardinals refer to base 1, base 2 and base 3?

  13. Tommmcatt_Again

    "He called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth." – Matthiew 15:10

    Might want to think twice before you ion your pie-hole, Mr. Orsi.

    1. Redgyal

      Um, that passage it about oral hygiene. What comes out of your mouth is the stuff that gets stuck to your dental floss. Ask a priest.

      1. Tommmcatt_Again

        I'm not going to have a conversation about anything oral with a priest, thank you very much. Given that I'm older than 14 I doubt a priest would discuss the topic with me anyhow.

        (Pedophile priest jokes never go out of style).

  14. T3rbo

    And really, can't we let these assholes have their own country to fuck up? Greenland, part of Siberia, something? The worst thing FDR did or didn't do was not ship these fucks off to Germany before we got into WWII to volunteer for Hitler's army. Hate socialism and the New Deal? Free boat ticket! Now we have half a country of people that really believe this bullshit when we could have let these guys and their progenitors fight for what they believed in to crash like a hate filled ignorant wave against Stalin's army. Missed opportunity…

    1. GeneralLerong

      I suppose it would be bad to fantasize about shipments of fattened long pork to certain parts of Polynesia, where The Old Gods linger on in remote islands unvisited by yachties.

      1. MittBorg

        PNG. They *might* have stopped after the outbreaks of kuru, but some areas are pretty fucking remote, and they might've just et the messenger instead.

      1. T3rbo

        Ironically, Ken Burns is on Letterman right now. Germany would have been safer, you don't want the fascists to go against you in a civil war, end up like spain…

  15. Schmannnity

    What about the danger of the so-called graces? Faith? Gateway to Sharia law. Hope? Obama, Duh. Charity? Code for socialism.

  16. AngryBlakGuy

    …wow, isn't this the same thought process as racist who claim that black people are repressing them, despite the fact that their racial group makes up 75% of the countries population?! Or the same racist bastards that claim the Mexicans are taking all of their low paying, back breaking, life shortening jobs, that they didn't want in the first place?! Now we have this self righteous son of bitch claiming that allowing people to be themselves and be proud of it is some how infringing on his god given right to be stale bag of donkey shyt! This man is obviously DEEPLY closeted!!!

    1. bobbert

      Hate to be a rhetoric Nazi, but here is an obvious category error in your use of "thought process" in this context.

    1. tessiee

      Circus peanuts are only slightly tastier than styrofoam peanuts (or slightly worse, I can never remember), but my guess is that the good Rev. gives out Jack Chick tracts for Halloween.

      1. Lascauxcaveman


        a) noted British philosophers N. Lowe and E. Costello both queried "What's so funny about peace love and understanding?"

        b) the Brits, as a people, are noted for their astute senses of humour (viz. Python, Monty, Hill, Benny, et. al.)

        I posit that perhaps Peace Love and Understanding wasn't funny enough.

  17. Woodshedding

    You have to hand it to the 1% and their stunning success in creating a whole class of people with negative IQ's.

  18. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I suspect Dok Zoom is secretly writing articles for CNSNews just to post witty ripostes here.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          But you'd step on the brake to get out of her clutches, at least?

          (This thread is developing a nice EC sub-thread wouldn't you say?)

          1. mille derps

            Don't start me talking
            I could talk all night
            My mind goes sleepwalking
            While I'm putting the world to right…

          2. Humberto_Echo

            Even an old man knows that a person with an Elvis Costello avatar calling for people to Join Oliver's Army is either barmy or worse.

  19. HarryButtle

    Yes, he went there. There can be no morality without a very highly developed “sense of revulsion.”

    I revile you, Rev Orsi, does that count?

    1. bobbert

      Maybe not, as you would not require a "highly developed" sense of revulsion to be revolted by Rev Orsi.

  20. tracyhasfun

    As someone who used to teach diversity to white kids in the PNW…some of this sounds very familiar…hm…

    "Why do we have to accept others the way they are? It's weird! Don't they want to speak American? They should have to accept us!"

    If it was a paper, you could replace "accept" with "except" at random intervals. Buh.

    1. gullywompr

      I was wondering the same thing today. I do recall a lot of accounts with similar names (best: User of Towels). Maybe the fame drove Owls underground?

    2. LagunaB

      Go to photobucket. Search for extemporanus. Below – No matches found – will be – click to see this user's profile. Click. Look at most recent upload. He was doxed.

  21. decentcitizen

    So you're free as long as you agree with Orsi. And it's alright to welcome as long as they're the same as you (and thereby they have nothing to offer you or you, them). And diversity is just an excuse to have sex with people you shouldn't. Got it.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    How fucking vile. Now, do we all have to get rid of our "Welcome" mats out by the front door? If I move to a new neighborhood, will I get a visit from the Revulsion Wagon?

  23. BadKitty904

    To turn the snark off for a sec:

    I'm constantly and sincerely amazed by the lengths to which these people will go, the depths to which they will sink, in order to find things to be afraid of. Are their lives truly based entirely on fear?

    1. Callyson

      Are their lives truly based entirely on fear?

      Of course not–their lives are also based on hate and shame. Assholes.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Oh, if you really want to feel sad, consider this:

          They have kids. And they send those kids to schools using books like World History And Cultures In Christian Perspective.

          Now, before you lose all hope, keep in mind also that a pretty fair number of those kids hit adolescence, start thinking about this nonsense, and say "Fuck this, I'm going to go hang out with the Science Club kids."

          1. AlterNewt

            I've mentioned here before, that my niece and nephews adapted pretty quickly and pretty well once their mother took them out of that environment
            It's too artificial to sustain itself in the light of reason.

            Don't despair.

          2. MittBorg

            (Hugs Dok Zoom) He's right. I was one of those kids. Raised by a very paranoid person who was probably bipolar. Some of us make it safely over to the *sane* side.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Sure, fear, hate and shame are get them out bed in the morning.

        But what they *really* love to do is hypocrisy.

        1. Negropolis

          They don't so much as love to do hypocrisy as it just happens to be a natural and noxious byproduct of their ideological existence. Hypocrisy is like a bad, wet, and smelly fart.

          1. Doktor Zoom

            It's what happens when you try to shoehorn complex human beings in to narrow ideological containers. There's spillover. And it's often messy.

      2. Jukesgrrl

        Based on fear for some. But based on getting over if you're in the 1%. And the fearful are nothing if not willing to comply.

        Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king.
        And the king ain't satisfied 'til he rules everything.

    2. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Somebody somewhere once said to me "People fear the beautiful things they don't understand."

      1. Geminisunmars

        Well, Gingrich, Joe Walsh, Rove, Cheney, and the hundreds of others that have filled the (virtual) pages of Wonkette do not seem like happy people in the least, do they. Well, maybe Marcus Bachmann, although I think he is more festive than happy.

      2. tessiee

        Yes, but it's a bitter, cramped, unhappy life that they actively chose and aggressively pursue every single day.

    3. MittBorg

      Yes. Next question?

      Srsly. Fear is the very root and basis of their lives. It informs all their thinking. Be afraid, especially of the other, for they seek ways to do you down and dirty and take all that you hold dear. It's very difficult to let go of that kind of thinking when you've been steeped in it your whole life. It takes a rare courage to step out into the world and trust that it will not hurt and kill you.

    4. Humberto_Echo

      White nationalist and racialist theories of the 19th and early 20th century are being eased back into public discourse like a pear of agony, or maybe it was an Iron Heel, up Jack London's socialist but well formed ass.

    5. Negropolis

      In the venerable words of Master Yoda, fear leads to anger, anger to hate, and hate to suffering. The path to the dark side, this is.

    6. Bodeburu

      I know these people have always been amongst us, but since the advent of wide-spread electronic communication, their reach and influence has expanded exponentially. When you go from tent revivals to televangelists, this is what happens.

  24. Mittens Howell, III

    Rev. Orsi,

    I tolerate your idiotic views because I believe in diversity
    yes, fuckwits have a place in a society too.

    I welcome you with open arms.

        1. Geminisunmars

          Does that mean you've forgiven me for eating moist okra? And bearing (baring?) filet mignon for the dogs.

          1. MittBorg

            Of course! As your Internet/Astral spouse, I am obliged to forgive you anything. At least I think I am. I might wag an intolerant finger once in a while.

          2. Geminisunmars

            We'll let you take care of all the meals. You sound like a far far better cook than moi. I'd be happy to endure the mighty wag of an intolerant finger now and then for the privilege of being spoused by you. Astrally, that is.

  25. AddHomonym

    What? Lasagna is bad now? Foreign? Some kind of gateway food? I guess hamburger sandwiches are too German, then.

    1. smellypossum

      Careful you don't reach the hamburger tipping point: Eat one too many and you'll have an urge to invade Poland.

  26. deanbooth

    We had a guy at work who we fired for undermining other people's work. He had a computer wallpaper which pictured a dozen handguns with one large word in the center: DIVERSITY. It turned out later that he had put a time bomb in his code, set to break it if he wasn't around. * cough * christian * cough*

      1. deanbooth

        If not that one, very similar.

        We discovered a threatening email he wrote, and when we went through his other emails we found he particularly didn't like his black and female managers. There was some concern he might go postal.

          1. MittBorg

            One time I was leaving the office with a bunch of colleagues to go eat lunch at this cool little Thai place, and we passed a poster near the lift that said "If you see this person on campus please contact Security immediately." It was one of our erstwhile colleagues. I LOL'd at the "joke," until the security guard pointed out that it *wasn't* a joke. Apparently, the guy had called his boss to tell him he was coming to the office with an Uzi.

            We had lunch in the cafeteria.

  27. BumbleKid

    I don't know you guys. I found Reverend Orsi's argument to be factual, reasonable and extremely convincing.

    Also, I'm lying.

  28. mavenmaven

    Personally, I think what society needs is a return to taboo laws of purity, ritual sacrifice, and perhaps some stonings.

    1. Negropolis

      It's one of my favorite lines in a song, ever. God if that girl wasn't witty as fuck.

      "The only time I hold your hand is to get the angle right."

  29. rocktonsam

    those three words are on a sign in front of my ELCA lutheran church. Now I get why there are gheys, blacks, messicans, along wth scads of awfully friendly people in there.

    I can see why this guy would have his shorts in such a bunch

        1. bobbert

          Remarkably enough, this tune is exactly as comprehensible as American death metal. In fact, it's functionally identical.

          Hey, I've been in garage bands.

      1. Beowoof

        Sorry obscure snarking back to an old Ted Haggard story, where Ted denied he was gay, but then there were reports Ted was getting butt secks regularly from his wife. Those stories came out right after the gay prostitute drug dealer outed Ted.

          1. MittBorg

            I just don't get how "warm, sunny, dry" could possibly equate to "miserable," but I'm'a hug you on GP anyway. Helps MY shitty mood, why not yours?

          2. redarmyzombie

            One, two! One, two! And through and through
            The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
            He left it dead, and with its head
            He went galumphing back!

          3. MittBorg

            And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
            Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

            I memorized that whole fucking thing when I was seven. I had the edition with the Tenniel illustrations, and many a sleepless night it gave me.

          4. redarmyzombie

            "Oh Frabjous Day! Callooh! Callay!"
            He chortled in his joy.

            Sadly, I led a very sheltered, deprived childhood. I did not get to read any of them until about a couple years ago, and oh! Oh, god, they're now my favorite books!

            By the by, have you ever seen the Czech version of Alice in Wonderland by Jan Svankmajer, Neco z Alenky?

  30. littlebigdaddy

    Wow, a wingtard who knows that "oxymoron" is not that stuff that grandma takes and her son steals…I am impressed.

  31. cousinitt

    "Most people belong to groups to help them improve, change and be part of something greater than themselves."

    Like belonging to a Christian church? To be part of God's Kingdom? That kind of group belonging, wanting to part of something greater like, I dunno, the ENTIRETY OF CREATION? Be like the most perfect person EVAH–J.H. Christ, not-Esq.? LIke that?

    Self-awareness, how does it work?

      1. Redgyal

        True. I was hoping the words Discipline, Tolerance and Production would stand out. Also, the part about it being a multi-ethnic country. Also the part about the national anthem saying " here every creed and race find an equal place". All of that may not be his cup of tea.

  32. Dudleydidwrong

    How long will it be before Fr. Michael Orsi is caught on Liberty Island trying to chisel the words off of the bottom of the Statue of Liberty? None of this "tired, poor, …huddled masses" heresy. With a name like "Orsi" I'd bet that some of his forebears were shit on when they got off the boat. Forget stuff like that, Orsi? Asshole!

  33. Humberto_Echo

    I'm used to my self-defeating hate from the pulpit being composed on a 4th grade level. This is some pretty well written stuff. Has John Derbyshire finally found his Howard Prince in Orsi?

  34. proudgrampa

    This kinda shit just leaves me speechless and exhausted. Thank you, Doktor Zoom, for bringing it to my attention.

    Carry on.

    1. MittBorg

      Wait till you see the bakery goods on offer at the symposium on infectious diseases hed recently. Nothing like a scone that looks like a pus-laden, maggot-infested runny oozing sore.

      1. tessiee

        I have a lifelong seething hatred of that drippy white icing that goes on top of cinnamon rolls and coffee cake. It dates back to the days I worked in a restaurant kitchen, and we used to get huge 10-gallon barrels of it from the food service supplier. If there's anything more sickening than prying the top off a vat of syrupy white goo, and having that overpowering sweet smell sort of… bloat out at you… I don't want to know what it is.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      "A wasteland" gal @ 1:20 struck me as awfully cute. Then I ran it again to check the time mark, paused it, and realized I was looking at a face with similar features to my ex's (but longer hair, for you Melissa Etheridge fans).

      Make of that what you will.

      EDIT: And, of course, Errol Morris freakin' ROCKS

  35. BloviateMe

    Proof that the second coming of Jesus would result in a second crucifixion.

    There's times when my atheism feels like a warm blanket.

  36. Negropolis

    Tolerance doesn't mean what he thinks it means. Not only does the word not require moral relativism, but it literally speaks to a division of something and the shoring up of one's own ideas and beliefs with the only positive attribute of the word being that you don't try to surpress the rival division(s)' ideas and beliefs.

    Tolerance has always been a very strange word, IMO, as it relates to the left. Tolerance has always struck me as a far more conservative-feeling word than how it's used, today. To 'tolerate' something is to show self-control to something you view as inferior or undesirable. Sounds conservative enough an idea, to me.

    1. bobbert

      "Tolerance" is, interpreted literally, a slightly unadmirable characteristic. Certainly better than blanket "intolerance"; but, as you say, it connotes putting up with something that you really do not like, in the spirit of fair play.

      On the other hand (and by now you probably realize that I live in OTOH-land), tolerance is frequently the best we can hope for. We live in a heterogeneous world. Our choices are blanket acceptance of all persons and behavior (which I know I cannot do), blanket rejection of all except preferred persons or behavior (may work for a few extreme wingnuts), or some kind of tolerance.

      I don't think tolerance is a "conservative" idea. I think it arises from the realization that there is a higher-order good — e.g., a functioning civil society — that will benefit from your self-control.

      That said, tolerance does not mean what he thinks it means, which is, roughly, worshipping the Devil.

      1. Negropolis

        You put it better than I did. My only point is that tolerance isn't some kind of squishy, touchy-feely leftist.

        You know, I typed out that post far too quickly, as I was really hot over his terrible and non-sensical defintion of the word tolerance. I totally forgot to make the distinction between the literal definition of the word, and the modern and socio-political practice of the term. You are completely correct. The literal definition doesn't fall belong one ideological spectrum or another in our modern politics. The practice, however, seems to have both been attributed and self-attributed to liberals. Truth be told, liberals are much more comfortable with, and wanting to, celebrating differences as opposed to simply tolerating them. Even the modern practice of tolerance seems to be a compromise with conservative ideology.

        Tolerance is certainly something one has to do to get throuogh life. But my feeling is that conservatives probably think far more in the vein of tolerance in how they view the world than liberals do. I tend to think that liberals find far more enjoyment of humanity. I try to walk around enjoying things, and it bothers me when I can only tolerate something.

      2. Chet Kincaid_

        I look at it differently. Tolerance, to me, has always meant a kind of maturity that admits certain kinds of differences are not worthy of being demonized. It is not the blanket acceptance of all differences, actions, ethics and attitudes.

        1. bobbert

          That is an excellent, and concise, way of putting it. Some differences are not worthy of being demonized. I hope I didn't portray it as blanket acceptance; I was trying to present that as one of the extreme alternatives.

      3. tessiee

        I think it's probably because the US is still a melting pot. I'm sure there are people on the train/at the grocery store/in the park who are offended by my beliefs/practices/T-shirt slogans. Tough shit. I'm offended by some people's music/fashion sense/Axe body spray, but at least I realize that I don't have any say in the matter. Anybody who doesn't understand that probably shouldn't be going out in public.

        1. MittBorg

          Now WHY can't the RWNJs understand and practice this? We don't need them to *love* us. We just need them to understand that the price of admission to civilized society is the toleration of habits/beliefs/practices that we do not share or care for.

    2. decentcitizen

      I agree that tolerance is different than acceptance. It's as if being tolerant involves bestowing some benefit that is otherwise undeserved. Acceptance I can roll with because I'm simply recognizing the dignity the person's entitled to -except if you're a wingnut. Then fuck you.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        As one of my favorite examples goes, I tolerate her eating crackers in bed. But I don't tolerate her, I love her.

  37. Blueb4sinrise

    Had to share this brilliance from LGM thread.

    DocAmazing says:
    October 30, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    The slogan that the Obama campaign might want to bring out:

    “If you built it yourself, rebuild it yourself.”

  38. Troubledog

    You know who are really intolerant? Hippies.

    I was in my car, waiting for the Bainbridge ferry. Took one last pull on my cigarette (I used to smoke) and let it fall from my fingers to the pavement. In my side view mirror, I watch a hippie get out of his Subaru four cars back.

    This guy is the full on militant kind of hippie with a bias for action, like guys that like free lab rats and hammer spikes into trees. He picked up the smoldering stub of my Camel, held it in front of my face, stared me in the eye until I took it from him. His sense of revulsion was palpable.

    So, he and the Rev are 100% in agreement on "Tolerance: This word implies that, at worst, there is no measurable standard for right or wrong, or at best that we have no right or obligation to correct those in error."

    1. tessiee

      I didn't read past "Camel".
      that used to be my brand.
      I haven't smoked in decades, but I can still recognize Camels by the smell, and sometimes I still miss them.

    2. bobbert

      With all due respect (which is considerable, because I have seen many of your comments here), fuck off.

      There are, I'm sure, intolerant hippies. Having been a tolerant hippie for some years (some years ago), and knowing plenty of them, your anecdote strikes me as a serious over-generalization.

    3. Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, some hippies just want to kick some ass.

      You probably think it's easy sitting around all day, in that filthy, unheated singlewide all day, with that godawful incense burning, listening to some ugly, skinny crazy broad who smells nasty and doesn't shave her pits, chanting off-key chakras at the top her lungs all day, with a couple of filthy, screaming, out of control ADD brats (who probably aren't even yours – I mean, red hair? Where the fuck did *that* come from?) running around all day naked and torturing the dog, with nothing in the house to eat but stale organic rolled oats and wormy green apples "gleaned" (stolen) from some neglected nearby farmstead? That sound fun to you? Huh!? DOES IT, SMOKY BOY!!?

      You're lucky you already had that window open, Cigarette Boy, so that dirty hippie didn't put his fucking fist RIGHT THROUGH YOUR GODDAM WINDOW AND STRAIGHT ON THROUGH YOUR GODDAM SMIRKING, SMOKING, LITTERING FACE!!!!

      (Can you tell I'm actually very familiar with Bainbridge Island?)

  39. StillGoinGreen

    Three things to remember:
    1. It's Messcan, not messican – get it right
    2. Fear is a liar
    3. Buttfuckin is only gay if it is done by gays – not if it is to prove your dominance over… someone..; GOD BLESS AMERICA!! FREEDOM!!

  40. Humberto_Echo

    I once uttered a sad from the pulpit. It was yuuuuge. You ever hear of the Day of the Lizard.? I built that.

  41. Humberto_Echo

    There's a vibe here but I'm not getting it. Perhaps I have said too much. My children don't call me like they used to. And the crosswords get tiresome. But still I'm glad Andrew Breitbart is dead. Breitdead is what I call him.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      People in Floridah know a little sumthin about hurricanes. I'm thinking if they're impressed with our President's handling of Sandy … it couldn't hurt.

  42. LibertyLover

    If Jeebus came back to earth today, would he be wearing a Brooks Brother's suit and work for Wall Street?

    1. cousinitt

      St. Dood sez, what's fashion forward for this Fall's "Savior" collection includes the latest from Urban Outfitters. Skateboards to Hell are the accessory of the moment.

  43. docterry6973

    Fear and hatred. Just like Jesus taught.

    One of the mini-docs is in college and just told his aunt, my sister, to stuff it with the anti-gay anti-Obama crap she forwards to him. Good for him. I may yet poison another generation with tolerance, diversity, and welcoming.

  44. bobbert

    Oh, hey, Dok.

    I don't give a fuck about Ziggy or ponies, but if you veer towards B.C. we're gonna have words.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      If I ever illustrate a post with BC — unironically, at least — I will have far more serious issues going on.

  45. Dr. Nick Riviera

    OT: WTF?? Michigan is now a "toss up" according to RCP. Holy fucking shit. If Michigan goes Romney they deserve everything they get.

  46. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Orsi is a visiting dolt at the for-profit-from-wingtards Ave Maria School of Law, where he evidently doesn't meet the dubious qualifications for an actual faculty position. (In the language of the 47%, he's crashing on their couch until he can land a real job.) Ave Maria itself holds the dubious distinction of simultaneously being among the lowest-ranked and highest-tuition law schools in the nation. Consider the source, is all I'm sayin'.

    Ave Maria Law was founded by Thomas Monaghan, of Domino’s Pizza fame (what is it with Republicans and pizza magnates, anyhow?), to advance a Catholic-flavored version of Protestant/fundie legal wingnuttery (read: Liberty & Regent Universities.) You would think that Georgetown, Loyola, Fordham, etc. would be up to the job, but evidently those commie-socialist Jesuits aren't pushing the agenda. Monaghan the businessman may also have identified a ready market among conservative-but-not-so-bright lawyer wannabes.

    The rent in Michigan was too damn high, and/or the Michigan A.G. took an interest in the operation, so Monaghan carted the whole circus down to Floriduh, where the school is a shining beacon of the wingnut/fraudster culture, and attracts the finest of young conservative minds. If they didn't exist, Carl Hiaasen would have to invent them.

  47. SorosBot

    Wonkette is back, and based on the comments it came up just as I logged onto the airport wifi. Coincidence?

  48. ttommyunger

    No snark: an Evangelical Preacher who spends any of his time on Earth soiling his tongue with politics is the worst kind of phony and hypocrite. If I met him I would address him as "Shaman", not Reverend. It would not be the first time.

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