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Eight year olds, DudeOh my gosh, you guys, did you know that Barack Obama is “grooming” your innocent children to turn them into sex fiends? We’d have been unaware of this science fact were it not for totally credible (or is it “credulous”? We mix those up sometimes) wingnut freakout artist Matt Barber, the guy who angrily denounced the media for ignoring a photo of a “huge Romney rally” that was actually a huge Obama rally in 2008. He also predicted — accurately — that Obamacare would force everyone to get sex changes. In his latest opus for CNSnews, Barber makes the novel claim that all sex education is based on the research of “sexual psychopath” Alfred Kinsey, and therefore all sex ed is aimed at “grooming” children to become sex perverts.

He bases this groundbreaking assertion upon the work of his “dear friend and colleague” at Liberty University, Judith Reisman, a culture warrior who has only been making those exact claims against Kinsey, sex ed, and teh ghey since the 1980s. More recently, in 2007, she explained that the Virginia Tech shooter’s brain was poisoned by “erototoxins” generated by his pornography addiction. So you know that this is Real Science!

Discussing Reisman’s qualifications, Barber notes her prestigious résumé:

In past years, Dr. Reisman has served as scientific consultant to four U.S. Department of Justice administrations, the U.S. Department of Education and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

This actually says more about the paranoid tendencies of the Reagan-Bush Justice Departments than it does about her reliability as a researcher, of course. It’s sort of like lauding Todd Akin and Paul Broun for their service on the House Science Committee. (For another thing, just as Your Correspondent is a PhD in Rhetoric & Composition who should not be trusted to wield a scalpel, “Dr. Reisman” has a PhD in communication, not medicine.)

But yes, let’s go on.

According to Barber (from Reisman, of course), Kinsey’s research involved monstrous sexual experimentation upon children:

Kinsey facilitated, with stopwatches and ledgers, the systematic sexual abuse of hundreds, if not thousands, of children and infants – all in the name of science.


Among other things, Kinsey asserted that children are “sexual from birth.” He further concluded, based upon experiments he directed and documented in his infamous Table 34, that adult-child sex is harmless, even beneficial, and described child “orgasm” as “culminating in extreme trembling, collapse, loss of color, and sometimes fainting. …”

That’s utterly despicable! We mean, of course, that it’s utterly despicable to claim, as Reisman and Barber do, that Kinsey or his researchers performed or encouraged anyone else to perform sex acts on children, a claim directly refuted by the Kinsey Institute, which noted that Kinsey disclosed his sources in his 1948 report, and that “The bulk of this information was obtained from adults recalling their own childhoods.” Kinsey also spoke to parents and teachers who had observed children’s behavior, and interviewed 9 men who had had sex with children — disgusting men, but interviewing them about past actions is a far cry from Reisman’s claim that the data had been “gleaned from children [Kinsey] and his team violated around the clock.” We look forward to her exposé of the hundreds of murders committed by criminologists who have interviewed convicted killers.

So. After lying about Kinsey’s research, Barber goes on to lie about the entire field of “today’s liberal ‘comprehensive sex education’ curricula,” claiming that all such education “is derived entirely from the criminally fraudulent research of Alfred Kinsey.” This only makes sense, because just as no biologist has done any research on evolution since Darwin, it only stands to reason that no one has done any new research on human sexuality since the 1950s.

Barber continues:

But even more troubling is a recent discovery by Dr. Reisman. She found that the Obama administration, which fully embraces the debunked Kinsey sex-education model, has begun pushing a curriculum that, in many ways, eerily mirrors the “FBI Molester Grooming Paradigm.”

In short, she found that both Obama’s HHS and many public sex-education programs are doing to children, constructively, what pedophiles do to “groom” them for sex

Among chilling parallels that Barber says Reisman found between sex ed and child molestation:

  • Pedophiles “commonly use pornography to teach or give instructions to naïve children” — and sex ed classes have “Graphic sexual images and explicit ‘values neutral’ talk of sex and sexuality,” which is exactly the same thing!
  • Molesters “lower the sexual inhibitions of children” and “desensitize children to sex.” Comprehensive sex ed seeks to normalize talking about sex — Totally like perverts do! We bet that those filthy perverts even allow giggling!
  • “Offenders commonly use pornographic images of other children to arouse victims, particularly those in adolescence.” And sex ed is full of filthy diagrams and talk about “penis” and “vagina” and… oh, my, we are feeling faint here!

So anyhow, Barber continues with a lot of butthurt about how he’d expect a lot of filthy sex talk from the likes of Jerry Sandusky, but is shocked, shocked that the President of the United States believes in such “criminally reckless” practices that amount to “‘grooming’ children for sex”:

During the 2008 presidential campaign, a then-Sen. Barack Obama spoke about teaching “comprehensive sex education” to kindergartners: “It’s the right thing to do … to provide age-appropriate sex education, science-based sex education in schools,” he said.

And by “science-based,” of course, he meant “Kinsey-based.”

So, what is age appropriate, science-based sex education? Well, we know what Alfred Kinsey thought was “age appropriate.” We know what he considered “science-based.”

We truly fear that Mr. Barber may soon be literally pummelled to death by a giant man made entirely out of straw. Also, too, we invite you to fap to this incredibly libidinous pornographic image from a sexual education manual:

Suddenly we feel all tingly

Just don’t let the erototoxins drive you too crazy.


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