Failure to Deploy Wizards Also Faulted

Fox News Reveals Obama ‘Watched’ Benghazi Attack But Failed To Invade Grenada

Wingnuts, led as usual by Fox News, are flogging a brand new alternate history of the Sept. 11 attack on the US Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, in which Barack Obama knew exactly what was going on, refused to launch a rescue mission, ordered the CIA to “stand down,” and maybe shot Ambassador Chris Stevens to death himself. Appearing on Fox News, retired Army officers David Hunt and Anthony Shaffer told Fox’s Jeanine Pirro that two drones were providing a “live feed” of the attack and said that his sources tell him that the President “was one of those in the White House Situation Room in real time watching this” and that he could have approved military action to save the embattled ambassador, but chose not to. And the example proving that a rescue could have worked? Ronald Reagan’s successful 1983 Grenada operation, in which Reagan used a military invasion of a Caribbean island to rescue the news cycle from coverage of the deadly bombing of the Marine barracks in Beirut.

Get ready to hear a lot in the next few days about this “live feed” that Obama was “watching” — obviously, it was just like on “24,” with everything clearly visible, all the people on the ground clearly identifiable and maybe even labelled — and not a grainy image from the air… at night… in a city… looking down at what’s happening outside and inside a building that’s on fire.

Hunt helpfully points out that President Obama “could have” had jets over the urban target within 20 minutes, and AC-130 gunships (which are really good at firing astonishing amounts of ammunition into ground targets — ideal for a nighttime raid in a crowded city!) within 2 hours, and maybe the Delta Force on the ground at some point. (Hunt says “two hours” as well, because why not? He’s a military expert!) Needless to say, in this fantasy of a perfectly smooth operation, nothing would have gone wrong, and there would not have been any chance of, say, an RPG being fired into one of the rescue helicopters, because that kind of thing only happens in movies, and never happens in reality.

In a surprising slip from message discipline, Glenn Beck’s “The Blaze” is simultaneously pushing the “Obama was watching the whole thing” narrative and also running another story saying that it’s possible that drones might have provided useful information if they were deployed at the right time.

As Jay Bookman of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution notes, the whole “Obama shoulda sent GI Joes to beat COBRA” scenario is purely speculative:

Let’s be clear: There is no indication — none — that U.S military officials advised the president or anyone in the administration that a rescue operation was possible, and that the administration ignored that offer. The evidence is entirely to the contrary.

As Defense Secretary Leon Panetta explained, “(The) basic principle is that you don’t deploy forces into harm’s way without knowing what’s going on; without having some real-time information about what’s taking place. And as a result of not having that kind of information, the commander who was on the ground in that area, Gen. Ham, Gen. Dempsey and I felt very strongly that we could not put forces at risk in that situation.”

That would be Gen. Carter Ham, the head of U.S. Africa Command, and Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They are men of training and experience; they know where our military assets are located; they know their capabilities, and they know the difficulties involved in inserting and extracting an armed force into an uncertain situation in another country.

Even so, Internet Tough Guys and Fox News are preparing yet another treason trial for everyone in the Obama administration, because, after all, Grenada was a successful rescue operation, and no one at Fox can think of any differences between Libya and Grenada.

Oh yes, and Obama was in the Situation Room, “watching the attack.” Can you imagine what they would say if he hadn’t been?

[The Blaze / AJC]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Weren't we outnumbered twenty to one when we invaded Grenada?

    • mirrorballdc

      Does that include the med school students? I think they may have outnumbered the troops.

      • Terry

        And nice ladies selling baskets and beach towels.

        • BadKitty904

          Plus the crack divisions of lithe, well-oiled cabana boys.

          • tessiee

            And their lithe, well-oiled buttcracks.

    • Doktor Zoom

      7000 troops participated, and the Pentagon gave out 8612 medals. As Garry Trudeau said, it was kind of a Special Olympics for the military.

  • Come here a minute

    But did they zoom in and enhance?

    • Lot_49

      Great montage! In The Future, computers will be able to create detail where none exists. They should use this on Mitt's tax returns. Or his tax plan.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        My computer made bumper sticker:
        Romney/1099

        • Lot_49

          Schedule C or GTFO!

          • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

            Obvious attempt at H&R Block infiltration!

    • emmelemm

      Now that improved my Monday.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Man, all I ever do on my computer is send email, look at porn, and hang around wonkette. These people's abilities on computers make me feel like a monkey on a typewriter.

      • HistoriCat

        But a monkey on a typewriter with porn.

    • frostbitefalls

      Very funny. Thank you for this.

    • tessiee
  • SmutBoffin

    Ask anybody – ANYBODY – at Fox News to point to Grenada on a map.

    I rest my case.

    • nounverb911

      Isn't it somewhere near Mitt's money?

      • Veritas78

        It's where they make that red syrupy stuff. Near Cordoba, where they make the shoe polish.

      • Callyson

        Mitt's money is dispersed so widely that this clue doesn't help.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Nah, it's that Spanish song marching bands play as a fanfare.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Hello Fadduh! Isn't Grenada some camp in the Catskills?

    • TheMightyHaltor

      I don't know…but their main export is grenadine, right?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Or Libya for that matter. And isn't Benghazi something you use for sore muscles?

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Beyond rank stupidity there's another dynamic that's being left out of this equation: logic. What does Obama have to gain by allowing this to happen? I've asked wingnuts time and again and the best they can muster is "belch! "well he hates 'merika, belch, FART, cromosome spill!"…even his own ambassador, apparently. I'm surprised they aren't taking this shit to its logical conclusion and stating that Obama is PURPOSEFULLY throwing his own re-election when they report this stupid shit. At least that claim, as dumb as it is on its face has at least some logical thread to connect this incredibly stupid, paranoid nonsense with. Otherwise they are just deliberately running with lies and smears for the sake of them (occam's razor)….which is the ONLY logic I see from faux……EVER

  • nounverb911

    Do you know who else like to "watch"?

    • SmutBoffin

      Depends. Is the thing to be watched titled "The Third Reich's Funniest Home Videos" or "Who Wants to Marry a Minister of Propaganda"?

      Then it's Hitler.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      David duchoveny?

    • Angry_Marmot

      Bridgette Monet?

    • snowpointsecret

      The Watchmen?

    • Graham Cracker

      Chance the Gardener?

    • Negropolis

      Paul Revere?

    • TheMightyHaltor

      Sting?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The Central Scrutinizer?

    • An_Outhouse

      Timex?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Oh for fuck's sake.

    [apologies to Callyson]

    • Callyson

      DAMMIT!

      (LOL, I seem to be getting known for using that phrase. It's been a tough election season…)

    • Negropolis

      I thought Callyson's catchphrase was:

      Asshole.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Was he wearing pants while watching? Also, I bet Obama's responsible for the shrieking winds now encircling my house, damn.

  • memzilla

    (twitches fingers, trying to type about bloody retribution desired to be visited upon, and so richly earned by, entire Faux News operation without violating Editrix's TOS about violence)
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    (still twitching fingers)

    • Tommmcatt_Again

      Wait, we can't use violence anymore?

      There goes that Muchelle Malkin comment I was saving for the right post, dammit.

      • Callyson

        We have to follow up with the tag "with votes." Or "with crappy ratings" in this case.

        Yeah, I know…

  • LibrarianX

    That's absurd. Obama was busy creating Hurricane Sandy – no time for silly Libya.

    • Come here a minute

      Which allows him to pretend that withholding the jobs numbers on Friday is due to the weather, instead of the obvious political motivation (also, too, they would have been totally faked).

  • decentcitizen

    Because making command decisions on insufficient and conflicting information unfolding in real time is what leaders do (at Fox News).

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Barack was supposed to be just like Dennis Haysbert on Fox's "24" series! It was all laid out for him, why did he fail us? Dennis Haysbert wouldn't have done a Failed Stimulus, he would've had Jack Bauer torture the economy and the economy's family until it cooperated and turned awesome.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Haysbert would have intoned solemnly at the Ambassador until he took out Allstate insurance on the embassy.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          And he would've paid down the national debt with the settlement check. Why isn't Obama leading the country like the president on teevee?

  • HempDogbane

    It's as if Stevens was Obama's Pat Tillman.

  • chascates

    Limbaugh was shouting about this today (I was riding with a teatard who had the radio on), saying the 'drive-by media' is of course not reporting this outrage because it might hurt Obama's reelection chances. Nutjob sites have reported anonymous sources who claimed to have 'painted' targets with lasers but the drones/gunships/orcs were not on station to defend the fallen.
    Most of the right have been trained to listen only to sources such as Fox, talk radio, and Drudge-like sites because those are the only places you hear 'the truth'. Obama not talking about Benghazi? He's hiding something. MSM not continually talking about it? They're covering up for him.

    • Terry

      Teatards are doing Facebook chain letters/posts about it, too. They show photos of the two Seals killed in the attack then say that Obama killed them

      • Callyson

        And don't even get me started on the trolls on HuffPo,

      • Negropolis

        I've been to maybe ONE right-wing site on this issue, and they had Chris Stevens' body plastered across it. Just disgusting and shameful.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        On C-SPAN's Washington Journal, it's still non-stop "Benghazi" on the "Republican Line". You would think Obama went to Iraq in search of imaginary WMD and then killed a hundred thousand Iraqis or something. Or maybe something like he was president while a highly orchestrated set of plane crashes killed over 3,000 Americans… I guess putting things into perspective isn't the wingnuts' strong suit.

    • BoroPrimorac

      How much have we heard about F&F since Issa admitted that the Obama administration had nothing to do with arms going across the border?

      The wingnuts are desperate because they can't get shit on this president and he's heading toward a second term whether they like it or not.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Issa, the person of Arabic ancestry continues to ignore my mental requests for his long form birth certificate. I will not be toyed with!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Obama not talking about the reptiloid alien inside his skull? He's hiding something. MSM not continually talking about it? They're covering up for him.

      But Fucks Gnus stands ready to tell the mouthbreathers all about it.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      You'd think they would have learned after the Echo Chamber Fiasco in the second debate not to circle jerk the "facts".

      • HistoriCat

        You'd think they would have learned

        OK, let's just pause right here…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    doesn't fox news have to shut down for the storm?

    • mbobier

      We can only hope….

    • zumpie

      Maybe Faux is the REAL target of God's wrath. Lying is a sin, after all

    • Negropolis

      I don't know, but I know that if Sandy is a legitimate catastrophe, nature has a way of shutting the whole thing down.

    • Beowoof

      Well Fox is such a storm of bullshit that it is hard to tell the difference.

  • ElPinche

    FALKLAND ISELANDS IS OBAMA'S WATERGATE !1!!

    • tessiee

      [to be spoken in thick NY accent a la Joe Pesci]

      WHICH falkland island? We got falkland cuba over heah, falkland bermuda over theah, then there's the falkland florida keys…

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        Not for nothing, but I got yer Falkland Island hanging right here, you falkland idiots.

  • Doktor Zoom

    In other news, this photo, ostensibly of a shark swimming through a flooded NJ neighborhood, is making the rounds of social media.

    If it makes it to Newark International, it'll probably tangle with the Jets.

    • Veritas78

      Must have taken a wrong turn at Wall Street.

    • SmutBoffin

      ANY BODY SEEN THAT CHRISTIE FELLOW I COULD RILLY GO 4 AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET RITE NAO.

      I'M A SHARK!!!

    • rocktonsam

      CHRISTY WILL SAVE THE DAY NJ!

      • tessiee

        In Soviet Jersey, shark jumps governor.

      • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

        If Christie's too busy protecting the donut shop we can count on Officer Krupke.

    • Terry

      That's awesome, whether its real or not

    • emmelemm

      Land shark!

      (Candygram!)

    • Mittaplasia

      The lawyers and bankers will be safe from sharkbite because professional courtesy.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Will there be spontaneous choreography?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I'd be a lot more impressed if that frickin' shark had frickin' laser beams attached to it's frickin' head.

    • bobbert

      If so, it's likely to eat a punt.

    • Negropolis

      If it makes it to Newark, well, it'll have to tangle with the fine citizens of said city, and no one wants to fuck with Newark.

      If the shark happens to make it past them, though, I'm sure Corey Book will have it in a headlock.

  • Veritas78

    That was a classic republican education strategy: go rescue a bunch of students so dumb they could only get into a med school in Grenada. But smart enough to invent "medical marijuana"!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i bet FOX was just as assiduous in covering the bin laden operation, right?

    or fallujah.

    • Radiotherapy

      Or Yemen in Sept of '08.

  • Lucidamente1

    But what would he have done when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    "Change the channel to BET!" shouted Obama. "I'm missing Top 10 Live!"

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Panetta was bogarting the flat screen with his damned telenovela.

  • Detesticle

    I have "failed" to "watch" Fox "News" since 1881, FTW

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Let me guess, Hunt is a paid consultant on Jerome Leon "Jerry" Bruckheimer films?

  • Radiotherapy

    Obama was too lazy to react.

    • BadKitty904

      And/or "too uppity."

      • zumpie

        And "not that bright". Cause you know, teh blahs

        • Negropolis

          And "niggardly" with our resources.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      It was childish of him.

  • mustangsavvy

    Yes, I do wonder why the President of the United States didn't order "ALL HANDS ON DECK PLUS BRING ALL OF OUR BIGGEST GUNS AND GET THE FUCK TO LIBYA NOW" when he had confusing information about a rapidly changing international crisis situation. Almost seems like he was trying to, I dunno, not make a dickhead move and you know, send more Americans to their deaths so that the Right Wing can feel like America acted sufficiently TOUGH and NON-APOLOGETIC.

    If Obama had done what Fox News wanted and charged in there guns blazing, yelling "America Fuck Yeah" like Rambo without a jockstrap thereby resulting in MORE American deaths, Fox would TOTALLY be his cheerleader because that is what they do. Stand by the Commander-in-chief come hell or high water. HAHAHAHAHAHA…..I of course am jesting.

    • An_Outhouse

      You know the old saying – "You can make more friends with an AC-130 gun ship".

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    Meh. At this point they've cried wolf so often they could air footage of Obama jogging naked through Foggy Bottom with Lady Gaga and Fidel Castro and nobody would bat an eye. They're just a propaganda machine- nobody but their faithful pays much attention anymore.

    • Doktor Zoom

      You're not supposed to know about that footage.

      • Tommmcatt_Again

        I keep my copy next to an old VHS of Dick Morris shrimping Rush Limbaugh and Patty Duke.

        I should probably get these things digitized.

    • zumpie

      1) I'd be happy to watch Bamz jog or do anything else he might like naked, any place it might please him to do so.

      2) Is that the bottom OHJB raped L'il Eddie Munster in?*

      *Sorry, that will be my forever most cherished Wonkette heirloom memory, "raped Paul Ryan in his bottom". It does warm my heart so….

    • tessiee

      "Obama jogging naked through Foggy Bottom with Lady Gaga and Fidel Castro"

      Wait…
      In the scenario you describe, exactly WHOSE bottom is foggy?

  • Lot_49

    Has Boehner got his staff drafting articles of impeachment yet?

    • doloras

      That starts Nov 7.

  • BadKitty904

    Just out of morbid curiosity – did any of the inmates at Faux happen to say *WHY* Bizarro Obama would have wanted Ambassador Stevens dead?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Vince Foster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

    • AlterNewt

      Stevens was white. Next question.

    • Negropolis

      Why, because Obama has a deep-seated hatred for white people. That's what Beck told me.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That's just what socialist muslins do.

  • Wadisay

    The drones were off attending to some wedding parties.

    • BadKitty904

      I thought they were off doing a mating dance with the hive's new queen…

    • Negropolis

      Damn drones. Always crashing weddings.

  • Lot_49

    OT, and you wouldn't want anyone to get harmed in a storm (unless it were a storm of votes), but has anyone noticed that Sandy is having some performance issues? And that some of the predictions are beginning to sound a bit…uh…hysterical?

    A few waves on the boardwalk at OC don't really constitute a "perfect" storm.

    • Blueb4sinrise
      • Lot_49

        Oops…wrong again!

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        wow.

      • Callyson

        Yikes! Stay safe everyone!

      • BlueStateLibel

        Occupy Sandy!

    • snowpointsecret

      If you count houses falling into the ocean as "performance issues" then yeah, sure. Sandy's doing basically what was expected…

      Edit: That probably came out more rude than intended but I'm not really sure how to put this without getting really confusing, either…

    • rocktonsam

      Ok then Sandy, if you want to make make up for a poor performance thus far, turn south towards NC and FL.. O h what the hell, Georgia too for snicks.

      just kidding, be safe you guys

    • Pithaughn

      3 feet of snow? We call that an epic powder day in CO, but in West VA, total fucking disaster.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I just wish that tonight's NFL game had been played in the northeast and been cancelled. What a bloodbath.

    • BoroPrimorac

      I knew that this storm was going to bring with it a shit ton of rain, but when they started talking about the storm merging with a cold front and it becoming some type of monster, I called bullshit. First of all, hurricanes gain strength from warm water, which means that as soon as it hit two cold fronts heading east it would slow down the storm significantly.

      • Negropolis

        But, they were featuring the slowdown as to what was going to make this really dangerous, inland. Everyone knows what happens when a hurricane hits land, anyway, let alone a cold front. If anyone misunderstood it as a supercane, it was as much their own fault as the media's.

        People seem to have this idea unless the Empire State Building is toppled, that a storm is an exaggeration. You go tell the millions of people in the tri-state area and beyond that this wasn't that serious.

        I'm as big a critic as you'll find when NYC gets caught navel-gazing, but any kind of huge storm in an area that incredibly and densely populated IS a big deal.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "hurricanes gain strength from warm water"

        Like, for instance, the warmest Gulf Stream in recorded history? There's the energy; the cold front is what releases it.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      No, Sandy is kickin' ass and taking names, sadly. What really sucks about is most of the people who live in Atlantic City live in terrible squalor so most won't have much of an option, especially when Christy doesn't do anything because come on…black people. I keep trying to make a bet with the fictitous diety what all the crazy rednecks keep worshipping about the Trump Taj Mahal: If the desert diety leaves the hotel alone where doubtlessly many people are taking refuge I'd really enjoy if it smashed the SHIT out of the casino so Trump has to go beg Bamz for a bailout. Please, please, please!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "Worst Disaster in Subway's History"

      “The New York City subway system is 108 years old, but it has never faced a disaster as devastating as what we experienced last night,” said MTA Chairman Joseph J. Lhota.
      As of last night, seven subway tunnels under the East River were flooded, the Long Island Rail Road evacuated its West Side Yards and suffered flooding in one East River tunnel, the Battery Tunnel is flooded from end to end, and the Queens Midtown Tunnel took on water and was closed.
      New Yorkers rely on the system for over 5 million rides per day, and the now-flooded vehicle tunnels are the primary alternative. Asked when the transit system might be back up and running, a spokesman for the authority said that there was “no firm timeline.”
      ——-
      Other than that, yeah, just a bit hysterical.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Are you not entertained?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I thought we were supposed to invade Mali.
    Or was it Bali?
    Polly?
    Wally?

    • BadKitty904

      Cali?

    • emmelemm

      Wanna cracker?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Doodle all day? (I am annoyed to find that "doodleallday.com" redirects to a site for labradoodle doggies, and has nothing to do with drawing aimlessly)

    • Negropolis

      I heard we were invading Dollywood.

      • HistoriCat

        We're gonna need a bigger bra.

  • sbj1964

    Fox Noise has become a parody of itself.Thank you Jon Stewart.The only people who watch that program are the tin foil hat crowd.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Man, that old colonel's voice is like a cheese grater in my ears. He either needs to clear his throat or gargle some battery acid.

    Also!! One of my colleagues is the daughter of Maurice Bishop, the Prime Minister of Grenada who was assassinated back in '83. The invasion of Grenada had nothing to do with "saving lives" – it was all about putting the conservative party back in power. So, fuck these guys.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      It was Ronbo's October Surprise. Also, too.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Full Spectrum Disorder , dude was in Haiti, Grenada, other places……not reassuring stories.

  • snowpointsecret

    Fox News is getting so desperate now. It's not like there's any real news to cover, so let's just smear Obama!

    Oh wait, you mean our studios are having windows blown out? Smear more!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Surprised they didn't say Benghazi needed moar Puff the Magic Dragons. Don't this Murdoch's minions care too much about collateral damage in those non-1% areas.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Spooky.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Spooky was the prototype. Didn't see the AC-130s over there. They came after my time. Did get to see Puff operating though.

        • Radiotherapy

          They're in the "circle of trust".

    • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

      Needed? Chinless cretin Bob "I wanted to be a soldier but I have a bad knee" Owens (the former Confederate Yankee) has the rest of the story: AC-130U Gunship was On-Scene in Benghazi, Obama Admin Refused to Let It Fire (Updated).

  • redarmyzombie

    If I may quote the great John F. Kennedy; just because he's a military man, doesn't mean his opinion in military matters is worth a damn.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Like that time he smoked a joint and failed to invade Jamaica.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Someone might have "intercepted" and overrode his orders.

  • Callyson

    FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

    What possible benefit would "allowing" the attack to happen have for Obama? Rally 'round the flag? That would have been much more likely had we defeated the attackers. Make voters sympathetic to him? Again, not likely. The fact of the matter is, Obama had absolutely no reason to stand by and do nothing if something more could have been done.

    So sick of these fucking wingnuts…

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Well said. I should really leave the FFS to you.

      • Callyson

        Oh, I'm happy to share. The more FFS' the merrier…

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Thanks. Sometimes it's all I can say.

    • tessiee

      *scuffling toe of shoe on ground*
      Well…
      It *does* make it easier to destroy this country.
      I'm just sayin', is all.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Haha… Nate Silver's Twitterz:

    Nate SilverVerified‏@fivethirtyeight

    CAN'T BELIEVE METOROLOGISTS USED MATH AND SCIENCE TO PREDICT THIS STORM. THEY MUST BE MAGIC WIZARDS

    • AlterNewt

      'Effeminate' wizards.

    • Mittaplasia

      Shhh! If words get out the Christianists might start burning folks again. Call 'em soshalists so they can blend in better.

  • PsycWench

    Their Eyes Were Watching God Only Knows What.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Who exactly in all of FOX Studios/Nation would get that joke?

  • cousinitt

    Bengayzie just sounds sketchy and is small potatoes compared to the dangling crane in NYC. Why is Obumma refusing to climb the crane and carry the broken piece safely down? We all know Omama can handle dangling erections because Jerome Corsi knows all about them. Why are the union police refusing to let Romney outsource the crane and defuse the situation? Americans demand answers to insane rhetorical questions, dammit!

    • zumpie

      Nah, while it is, of course, Obama's fault—-he hasn't done anything (once again) because he is, of course, lazy, uppity and not that bright. Cause teh blahs.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Obama watched that crane fail from the situation room. He could have stopped it by calling in Amercia's finest Rambos, but he chose not to, because … because … oh shit, it's a Rick Perry Moment. Someone help me out here.

      • tessiee

        Because racism, DUH!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    OT: I don't pray. But for everyone in Sandy's path, you have my thoughts and tears.

    • An_Outhouse

      She had gotten her hate fuck out of her system by the time she arrived at our house. Or we knew the safe word.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Best weather report ever. "There's a hate fuck coming in from the east…" Glad you're safe.

  • Pithaughn

    With the certainty that I'm repeating my selves ( on this we all agree ), the two biggest mistakes of the Republicans is pardoning Nixon ( if you think Jerry figured that on his own, then you have arrived to this point in time with world class naivete ) and turning tail in Lebanon.

  • Negropolis

    Leon Panetta already went over this weeks ago. There was no way they were putting anyone else at risk trying to blast their way into an unfolding situation that was not only physically obscure (at night), but a situation in which they had no idea, intelligence-wise, the groups involved. If they want to argue something, they should argue a failure of intelligence. To say that we should have been sending forces into a random, unpredicted attack of convience and circumstance is just plain crazy.

    These people are panicking. They know that Romney running up the popular vote in the South doesn't do shit for him in the electoral college, but they are hoping it spills over into the swing states, and it still hasn't despite them beating this horse for a full month since the first debate.

  • Lazy Media

    Grenada was a complete and utter clusterfuck, too, like most things planned on the fly (the amphibious readiness group had less than two days to plan and execute the invasion). Only the weakness of the opposition, and the competence of the Rangers and Marines, kept us from losing a bunch more guys.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      everything republicans have done in the past 30 years has been a complete clusterfuck.

      especially military operations.

    • An_Outhouse

      There was an opposition?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      What kind of idiot would think the two situations are in any way comparable?

  • proudgrampa

    Hey! For all of my friends out there in Wonkette Land:

    If you are tired of the rhetoric and the Fux News BS, do what I did today: Vote Early! What a fucking relief! I have cast my vote, I have done all that I can do, and all that remains is the count a week from now!!

    I can't believe the weight has been lifted. I told a survey today: call someone who gives a shit, I voted and I'm done.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i voted last week but i'm still compulsively making phone calls and refreshing nate silver.

      • proudgrampa

        I can respect that!

    • LibrarianX

      I voted early as well, but the ads haven't stopped!

      • proudgrampa

        Hey, Lib. The ads will never end. After November, we're back in the next Congressional cycle: instead of getting something DONE, they will just start running again for 2014.

        Drives me nuts…

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Everyone always thinks the work is done after a Presidential election. Then we end up handing the fucking Congress to insane people, like in 2010. It's annoying for the electorate to stay involved in making sure their country doesn't continue its precipitous descent into a Major League Hellhole, I know. There are more important things in life, like helplessly wondering why everything sucks.

  • not that Dewey

    "You didn't bomb that."

  • AddHomonym

    OBAMA DID 9/11!!!!

    • tessiee

      Also, he invented Crocs.
      And wrote "The Pina Colada Song".

  • not that Dewey

    Typical Mau-Mau anti-colonialist response.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, do these fuckers really believe that Mitt "I wouldn't have sent anyone after Bin Laden before I would have" Romney would have done anything, at all? It's as if they've totally forgotten that Republicans aren't big on targeted special ops that minimize damage. But, now they are all totally for special operations.

  • LibrarianX

    OK – so here's a question: are the FOX folks idiots incapable of basic reasoning or are they terribly clever Sophists, spinning crafty lies? I think I know the answer.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      As David St Hubbins memorably said, "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever."

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It's the clever (mis)leading the stupid that causes problems.

  • LibrarianX

    The news makes me feel like I'm tripping, but it's not fun anymore.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if the right would be so up in arms if it had been Ambassador Joseph Wilson on duty there in Benghazi that night. And that Commie wife of his Valerie Plame.

  • TheMightyHaltor

    You can tell this story has no legs when even Rmoney's opportunistic ass won't go near it.

  • Negropolis

    Huh? What's going on? My comments have to be approved by the moderator? Really? We have that kind of professional staff around here, now? I hope you guys are getting paid for this. lol

    • chascates

      Have to be approved? Has HuffPost taken over?

      • Negropolis

        Apprently, "g u n f i r e" and "b u l l e t" get the censor's all riled up when even used in a snark manner.

        This thing is far, far, far to sensitive.

        • chascates

          And I thought it was just set up to avoid mention of America's Greatest Special Needs Child! Profanity is still fine I hope.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      You been askin' for it.

      (I keed)

  • BoroPrimorac

    You know what's the real tragedy in all of this? It's a week before the election and no one outside the right wing bubble gives an absolute fuck about Benghazi, Solyndra or Fast and Furious.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      In what respect, Charlie?

  • chascates

    C_R_Eature! Are you on high ground? Weather.com has a live stream and it looks like water is subsiding in Battery Park City and most of lower Manhattan.

    • not that Dewey

      As of yesterday evening, he was running on generator power, and hanging tough. He said his lawn was full of squids.

      • chascates

        Calamari!!!!

        • not that Dewey

          Yes, just as soon as he re-moors the barbeque grill.

      • tessiee

        Also, his hovercraft was full of eels.

        • not that Dewey

          Bouncy-bouncy!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    hahahahahahaha pander bear is pandering:

    Republican Mitt Romney has announced a "a storm relief event" in Kettering, Ohio on Tuesday.

    you should show your ass in NYC mittbot.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe GWB can lend him his lucky bullhorn.

  • DesertTed

    And do you know what else Obama is watching? My house! He's got drones flying over it right now. And I heard something in my attic! I think they've got robots up there. And somewhere in the electrical sockets are hidden microphones. That guy who put them in really worked for the CIA. Obama is everywhere and he knows everything. I know he's watching me because he's the Anti-Christ. And a Socialist.

    • ProgressiveInga

      And lucky for you that ObamaCare covers pre-existing conditions and mental health services are considered an essential benefit! Win/Win.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Our thoughts and prayers are with you, northern Wonklings! Please hang tuff!!!

    • chascates

      I'll add a freethinker's amen to that.

  • ttommyunger

    Two turds and a twat have convinced me! IMPEACH!

  • tessiee

    petition urging FCC to revoke Fox's broadcast license:
    http://act.watchdog.net/petitions/109

    • An_Outhouse

      Can't you say anything you want on cable?

  • tessiee

    "in this fantasy of a perfectly smooth operation, nothing would have gone wrong"

    Oh, OK.
    So this is just like when that dickweasel with the dyed orange hair starting shooting people in a movie theater, and everybody said that if only all the other moviegoers had guns, they could have shot said dickweasel, despite the fact that he was wearing body armor, and the theater was dark and filled with panic-stricken people.

    And by "just like it", I mean a totally unrealistic revenge fantasy for Captain Sweatpants loser guys, whose closest brush with danger was in a video game, to fap to.

  • tessiee

    I wish I were still allowed to say "Bullshit".

  • Negropolis

    So, we're back up and running, now? Funny thing, just before the site wnet out I was wondering in my head about where Wonkette's servers are.

    BTW, where is our Lizzie? Safe-and-sound, I hope. Any damage uptown? I hear Rockaway in queens is burning.

    • Negropolis

      Ruh-roh. Some levee broke somewhere in northern NJ and an entire town of 1,000 is underwater with folks clinging to the roofs of their trailer park.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        That's usually a sight reserved for the Gulf Coast and the Mississippi River valley. Hope them folks get safe quick.

    • HistoriCat

      Seems like Lizzie if fine – still tweeting …

  • BadKitty904

    I know a lot of power is out, but any word on our northern Wonklings? You guys OK???

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Fine here in Boston, we just got the outer edges of it.

      • BadKitty904

        Good deal. I just talked w/ a cousin in Boston – trees down, power flickering, but otherwise OK. NYC looks like a war zone, but it seems like Beantown dodged it, alright… :0)

    • tessiee

      After trying for most of yesterday and part of Sunday, I finally got through to my sister's cell phone. Bessie says that she and my parents are OK, but the power is out and no indication of when it might come back on.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The people in the fucking building didn't know where the ambassador was. These bullshit artists are talking out through their asses, but of course Faux News gives them a soapbox to stand on while they do it, because Obama.

  • Bezoar

    I think the important point is that we should have attacked somebody.

    • tessiee

      Also, that whatever Barry the Soshulist does, doesn't do, thinks, or doesn't think, is wrong and tearing the country apart, because blah.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT, but it looks like the storm killed Huffington Post.

    • AlterNewt

      That is a shame.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Like they say, every Superstorm cloud has a silver lining.

        • AlterNewt

          Won't somebody PLEASE think of the side-boob!

          • Come here a minute

            A glance at HuffPo would tell you that many somebodies think of little else.

  • LagunaB

    Morning in So Jersey in the path of the storm. Four trees down, electricity went out 5 times but no damage and basement not flooded. We lived! It sounded like a freight train coming through and the house was shaking.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    2002: U.S. Consulate In Karachi, Pakistan, Attacked; 10 Killed, 51 Injured.
    2004: U.S. Embassy Bombed In Uzbekistan.
    2004: Gunmen Stormed U.S. Consulate In Saudi Arabia.
    2006: Armed Men Attacked U.S. Embassy In Syria.
    2007: Grenade Launched Into U.S. Embassy In Athens.
    2008: Rioters Set Fire To U.S. Embassy In Serbia.
    2008: Ten People Killed In Bombings At U.S. Embassy In Yemen.
    2009: Black Man Elected President of USA; Republicans Collectively Go Insane.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    A swarthy man was reportedly seen spitting on the sidewalk in front of the embassy in Amman, Jordan. Nuke, or invade? This aggression will not stand!

  • mavenmaven

    Hoveround Quaterbacking?
    "Yeah, well if me and my buddies were there, packing heat…"

  • BadKitty904

    Good deal! Here's hoping the others are OK…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Obama is such a pussy. Mitt Romney would have sent in Nick Fury and SHIELD and their flying aircraft carrier.

  • AlterNewt

    Fuckin' A.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    If Mitt were in charge, he would have sent in Nick Fury and SHIELD, on the flying aircraft carrier.

  • chascates

    McCain: Benghazi worse than Watergate http://hotair.com/archives/2012/10/29/mccain-beng

  • BadKitty904

    Is Wonkville down?

    • chascates

      Yes. I think the server that hosts it may be different than the one that hosts Wonkette. Or else Wonkville is routed through the northeast.

      • BadKitty904

        You mean it's NOT a wingnut plot??? ;0)

  • Doktor Zoom

    It is EXACTLY like that, yes.

    • tessiee

      Also, moron, the Joker's hair was green. Not orange. GREEN.
      [not you, Dok, the actual moron]

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Forgot muzlin.

  • chascates

    ABC News reports the Friday jobs report will be released. So much for the conspiracy theory that the Labor Department would wait until after the election to help Obama.

    • BadKitty904

      It's certainly looking like construction jobs in NJ and NYC are going to get a real boost… :0/

  • An_Outhouse

    When I want astute national security discussions I always tune into Justice Jeanine (or whatever that cunt's name is).

  • An_Outhouse

    The ambassador died from smoke inhalation. Why didn't Obummer send the fire department?

    • HistoriCat

      Union thugs were on a coffee break.

  • chascates

    Father of Slain Benghazi SEAL: The White House Order Was “Don’t Help Them, Let Them Die” (While Obama munched popcorn and watched in the Situation Room?)
    http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/10/father-of

    • tessiee

      ts;dr
      [too stupid, didn't read]

    • not that Dewey

      The family of Glen Doherty, the other (yes, there were two) Navy SEAL killed in the Benghazi raid, wishes to hell that Mitt Romney would SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT and stop politicizing his death.

      Of course, he was a member of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, who believed that the US military should not be a christianized crusader force, so nobody is going to listen to them.

  • tessiee

    Mitt Romney secretly is the one who killed UBL…personally, with Bruce Willis Campbell.

    fxt

  • http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com boskolives

    It's sammich fetchers , dammit. If I have to tell you this one more time I'm pulling this car over and then you'll be sorry.

  • gullywompr

    The youngs ain't gonna get that one, tessiee.