COME HELL AND HIGH WATER  5:54 pm October 29, 2012

A Reminder To You On The East Coast That Mitt Romney Finds Your Travails Hilarious

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Can't you see he's in miseryHai East Coast, what’s new? Sorry about your DEATH CRANE! We are just chilling here in sunny Californy watching old videos of Mitt Romney accepting his nomination. We were there! It was so great! We went from really really intensely disliking the man to a full-on hatred by the time he was done smirking, lying, mocking Jimmy Carter, smirking more, bearing false witness, making fun of Barack Obama for wanting to do something about global warming, and smirking. Oh wait, what was that second to last one? Yeah, making fun of Barack Obama for wanting to do something about global warming.

Oh yeah. There it is. Look at that disdain! That is the disdain Mitt Romney feels for you, personally and individually, because according to his RNC acceptance speech, we are only supposed to care about our families and not anybody else, and last time we looked, you were not in Mitt Romney’s family, or you would not be in these circumstances right now! Hope it helps to warm your frigid toes after your power goes out for however many weeks and you get your Day After blizzard that eated the world.

Good luck Wonkers. We love you.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 222 comments }

Sparky McGruff October 29, 2012 at 5:56 pm

STUCK AT HOME WITH CHILDREN -STOP- SEND BEER IMMEDIATELY -STOP-

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 5:59 pm

*prepares the transporter*

cognachas4paws October 29, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Is the beer for you or the children?

Lascauxcaveman October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Why choose one or the other? Everyone can enjoy.

A little family-time hunkering down.

(@Sparky: In all seriousness, I hope you're spending a little time today hanging out and playing with the kids. Books, Legos, coloring books or whatever is age-appropriate for your particular batch of gerbs. Sitting at the computer all day typing in snarks for people you'll never actually meet is kind of being a shitty parent.)

Sparky McGruff October 29, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Shitty parent? I prefer to think that I'm helping them to write angst-ridden novels when they're older.

Seriously, though. We're at a stage 3 cabin fever, and we still have power. About 3 hours of Wii with the girls, and a few dozen craft projects. They're getting delirious, and the storm's not even half way over.

Lascauxcaveman October 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Tell 'em to go play outside then. A little fresh air wll do them good.

Negropolis October 29, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Yes.

DaniloTifoso October 30, 2012 at 6:45 am

AOTK

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 6:10 pm

(waves magic wand) FRUIT JUICE BOXES — TRANSFORM!

Dr_Zoidberg October 29, 2012 at 6:23 pm

WILL TRADE BEER FOR CHILDREN – STOP – NEED CHEAP LABOR – STOP-

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

SITUATION WORSENING – STOP – FLOODED WITH BAD TELEGRAM JOKES – STOP –

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Reading this feels like watching a Romney speech. Just as robotic.

RufusTFirefly October 29, 2012 at 8:18 pm
WVUer21 October 29, 2012 at 5:57 pm

"Tonight on Hannity: Is President Barack Hussein Obama responsible for Hurricane Sandy? Michelle Malkin joins me tonight to explain why he is."

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Alex Jones has said Obama seeded the clouds, I would expect the Fox line, some people say – Obama, the Negro is responsible for the storm.

rocktonsam October 29, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Alex, sweetie, please don't help.

Negropolis October 29, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Damn Negro, and his blah magic.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 6:12 pm

"Isn't it true, Michelle, that a hurricane of this size has never struck the East Coast under a white president's administration?"

Designer_Rants October 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Mm. Yes. Compelling evidence. I bet it's in the CATO Institute's report on climate change – the only man made version is made by Barack Hussein Obummer.

rickmaci October 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

You watch, they will claim he has failed to adequately address the issues related to global climate change and has left the US dangerously exposed to dangers arising from the melting of the polar ice caps. You know that is coming from them.

Barbara_ October 29, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Has Chris Christie called Sandy "an idiot" yet?

T3rbo October 29, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Barbara_ October 29, 2012 at 6:04 pm

I was referring to the July 1st press conference where Christie called a reporter "an idiot." He seems to do that a lot.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm

If Christie comes loose from his moorings and starts rolling around, the human toll could be incalculable.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 29, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Katamari da Christie?
In Japanese, Katamari (塊?) means "clump" or "clod".

Lazy Media October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Yeah, I saw him throw the mayor of Atlantic City under the bus just a little while ago.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Of all the people in NJ who would worry about being blown away, Chris is not one of them.

JustPixelz October 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I expect Sandy to bounce off him and go back out to sea.

Designer_Rants October 29, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Maybe he should stand out on the beach to get the barnacles sandblasted off his… hull? Starboard side? I just get the feeling a thing like Krisp Krispie could use some freshening. At least a new coat of Battleship Grey.

Butch_Wagstaff October 29, 2012 at 8:10 pm

What a shitty guv, he is. He could have stood his fat ass on the coast and yelled at Sandy to just go away. Then he could have went back to his beach house made of pancakes, butter, and donuts.

BlueStateLibel October 29, 2012 at 6:30 pm

No, but Mr. Elegance personified repeatedly referred to people as stupid, stoopid, stoopid, stoopid. And he's already cranky because his last meal was only…half an hour ago.

RomneysLogCabin October 29, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Only when she asks for birth control.

YasserArraFeck October 30, 2012 at 9:54 am

I would pay money to see that fat fuck get into a shouting match with a hurricane. Chris "Canute" Christie……

dr_giraud October 29, 2012 at 5:59 pm

The winds may be cold, but the hate that video inspires will keep me warm.

Lascauxcaveman October 29, 2012 at 6:16 pm

It doesn't make me feel any warmer, just a whole lot more throat-punchy.

Callyson October 29, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I just did my workout, but this clip makes me want to do a kickboxing video.

ETA: yeah yeah, with votes…

Veritas78 October 29, 2012 at 6:00 pm

"I never said get rid of FEMA and have the states do it. I said I saved the American auto industry."

Veritas78 October 29, 2012 at 6:02 pm

"President Obama said he'd solve global warming and he hasn't. It's time to let someone else try."

Radiotherapy October 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Drill, baby, drill.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Got a case of Sam Adams Octoberfest, the wind is blowing pretty hard here in Western NY. Plan to have a beer, the kindle is fully charged, and some time cut off from television and radio bullshit would improve my mood.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Hope it helps to warm your frigid toes after your power goes out for however many weeks and you get your Day After blizzard that eated the world.

joss whedon predicted this.

RufusTFirefly October 29, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Spam comes with its own key.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Lights are flickering, scary, scary winds, and getting worse. Shit.

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

:0(

Terry October 29, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I just heard some disturbing noises from the roof. :O

Katydid October 29, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Santa come early?

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Squirrels with power tools and utility belts?

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 7:04 pm

We can only hope!

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Just lost a big pine tree. Missed my car by about 4 feet, but it's blocking the driveway. Can't get out. Luckily DC is closed tomorrow also too.

BlueStateLibel October 29, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Whatever you do. When you're alone. In the dark. Don't think of the scariest movies you've ever seen. Or those strange bump you hear coming up the stairs.

finallyhappy October 29, 2012 at 7:30 pm

that bump would be my friends coming over because I have a generator and sure as hell, power will be out here soon- because we will not be in the dark

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 7:34 pm

What's your address?

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 10:38 pm

The phone calls are coming from inside the house!!!

SayItWithWookies October 29, 2012 at 6:04 pm

"My promise is to help you and your family."

Now get on top of the car.

OneYieldRegular October 29, 2012 at 6:30 pm

The floodwaters only come up to the dashboard, so it's the safest place. Just hold tight to the antenna.

T3rbo October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Mitt Romney: I warned everyone about Global Warming and its consequences, but Obama did nothing

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

"My promise is to help you and your family."

INTO THE POORHOUSE.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Yeah like that fucker would give the poor a house.

GeorgiaBurning October 29, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Three squares and a cot in the dorm at Foxconn. Plus an afternoon off for family time, every other Sunday.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I do take comfort that, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, Romney will be first on the eatering list.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

i just posted a joss comment myself.

cheers!

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 6:15 pm

It's like we have the same… *shudder* *twitch* *drool* …BRAIIIIIIIIINZ!

finallyhappy October 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm

spam has its own key

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Ew. Too oily.

JustPixelz October 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm

If Chris Christie is #1, the Z's may be safe. WAIT! WHAT? They only eat brains, eh? Repubicans are safe across the board.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Don't you have to have brains for Zombies to be interested?

CommieLibunatic October 29, 2012 at 7:25 pm

You can't kill that which was never alive.

PugglesRule October 30, 2012 at 11:37 am

Nah, zombies only want human brains, silly. They haven't developed a taste for robots (yet).

sudsmckenzie October 29, 2012 at 6:06 pm

THIS, is why we all need car elevators.

PuckStopsHere October 29, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Damn it's a shame the Tigers didn't win last night. The wind is blowing around 50-per right now and baseball in this weather would have been EPIC to watch. Oh, and by the way, the only reason we would have set a $700,000 city bus alight here like they did in San Fran overnight after the Giants won the pennant (The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! And they're going crazy!) would have been simply to try and get warm.

M. Bouffant October 29, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Or Devil's Night.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I suppose that it is damned lucky that the Yankees were ousted by the Tigers, then, right?

Lot_49 October 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

The fact that this hurricane is occurring in the fall proves that climate change is just a theory, like gravity.

Veritas78 October 29, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Stuff falls down, stuff falls up. You can't explain it.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

are there ANY non white people in that audience? i mean seriously.

Geminisunmars October 29, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I believe there were two blahs at that convention. The cameras couldn't tear themselves away. We got to know them and their wardrobes quite well.

SoBeach October 29, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Good luck, yankees. At least when the hurricane takes your power you won't have to deal with 95 degree temperatures combined with 80% humidity and clouds of biting insects that keep you from even opening your windows.

Schmannnity October 29, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Nothing that an ice chest full of ice, a gallon of Tanqeuray, and several dozen limes can't handle.

spareme October 29, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Ice? What's ice in a hurricane? Had a power outrage all over the state (for two weeks) when Frederick hit – 1979 – and there was no f'ing ice! Ever drink a warm Black Russian? So we smoked dope instead.

SoBeach October 30, 2012 at 8:37 am

Every year when I stock my hurricane supplies I get the essentials first: a jug of Sailor Jerry spiced rum and a case of soda. Then I get some food and stuff, in case the kids want to eat or something.

deanbooth October 29, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Romney had me (my burning hate) at "mocking Jimmy Carter." Either he does not believe what he's saying and is playing to the rubes, or he actually doesn't like JC. Major asshole in either case.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 6:22 pm

It's not like that's unusual, out of them.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 30, 2012 at 7:35 am

If he needs to say A, B and C to get the votes (from the particular audience in front of him), he says A, B and C. I don't think he pauses even for a second to think about which of these, if any, he actually believes.

Lucidamente1 October 29, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Ha, ha, ha, ha. That's even funnier than mocking volcano monitoring.

Not_So_Much October 29, 2012 at 6:12 pm

You guys, some of his best friends own private islands.

Veritas78 October 29, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Only the tall ones. They're leaving the short ones to us.

mille derps October 29, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Speaking of tall ones, did y'all here about the tall ship (HMS Bounty replica) that sank off of NC during Sandy? http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/tall-ship-hms

RomneysLogCabin October 29, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Translation: "President Obama promised you that he was a magic negro, my promise is to allow you to buy a negro."

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Well Mitt is the Magic Mormon, watch his position change as continues lying for the lord.

goat_thrower October 29, 2012 at 6:13 pm

In case of emergency your magic underwear can be used as a floatation device.

Radiotherapy October 29, 2012 at 6:15 pm

On a night like this, with a millennial storm blowing through here in No. Virginia, I can't express enough how much foreboding and contempt I have for everyone of those fuckers who thought Romney's crack was funny. They really do want to take us back fifty years and lock us into a death struggle with our addiction to fossil fuels.
Plutocracy, just like the Founder's envisioned.
Sorry, no snark here, the doom and gloom matches the scene transpiring outside my window.

tejanojim October 29, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Yeah, Romney will pander in whatever direction he needs to pander. More of my hatred goes to the dipshits in the audience who thought "promised to stop the rising oceans" was a laugh line. Enjoy your wrecked planet, idiots. Too bad the rest of us live here too.

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 6:16 pm

From the National Hurricane Center:

Sandy is almost certainly non-tropical now, but hurricane advisories will be continued for one more cycle so people won't let their guard down. It should be noted that the change in type of storm won't affect the strength and 90 mph winds can be expected in some places.

Hope everyone's safe out there though, I can't imagine what it's like out in places like New Jersey.

Katydid October 29, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Central Jersey here. Not too bad yet.

calliecallie October 29, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I am sure there are folks on the right who believe Obama is manipulating the weather so that they can postpone the elections. And by postpone I mean cancel.

emmelemm October 29, 2012 at 6:26 pm

IF. ONLY.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 29, 2012 at 6:33 pm

They are saying that and a few more brilliant things:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/most-outrageous-hu

"Most of these were found on Fox Nation and the Fox Facebook page"

Geminisunmars October 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I just cannot bring myself to look. But thanks for the link anyway.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I looked and the stupid is strong.

finallyhappy October 29, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I o posted a comment on Yahoo comments that said "I read Yahoo comments because I don't personally know any morons"

Callyson October 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 29, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Sorry!

chascates October 29, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Limbaugh was talking about this today. His base is the poorz in the cities so he might postpone it for a loooong time. As fatass noted Obama didn't have the Constitutional authority to implement Obamacare and give amnesty to all those meskin kids so what would stop him from moving the election till he has a better chance?

Mittaplasia October 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Spend 10 minutes on Yahoo, if you dare! Obama didn't use HAARP to save the East Coast, and much, much (too much) more.

GeorgiaBurning October 29, 2012 at 8:29 pm

They know that tax cuts and increases in military spending would have prevented this hurricane, they heard it on the radio

Radiotherapy October 29, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I do say that all the time.

GlowneyHouse October 29, 2012 at 6:18 pm

How are the oceans on the planet Kolob? I hear they are just the right depth.

M. Bouffant October 29, 2012 at 6:40 pm

For drowning.

Veritas78 October 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Allow me to mention that, among the proposed republican budget cuts of the past two years, expanded NOAA forecasting capability is on all the lists. Apparently, what we won't know can't hurt us.

Designer_Rants October 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Maybe I'm starting to believe in Mormon Gawd, because there had to be some divine design to make a face so punchable.

Wadisay October 29, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Though I am in Minnesota, I reserve the right to refer to myself as a "Sandy survivor ™".

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 6:21 pm

It seems like the guy on the Weather Channel on the coast is getting sandblasted by Sandy. If only he had a dog, it would get sandy claws… (okay I'm sorry, I keep getting this bad joke told to me and I had to let it out somehow!)

BoatOfVelociraptors October 29, 2012 at 8:27 pm

(Reviewing a contract) ah, you can't fool me. There's no such thing as a sanity clause.

Schmannnity October 29, 2012 at 6:23 pm

If hurricanes hit Utah as frequently as South Florida, I can guarantee you that Mormons would be known for their distilling skills, not priggishness.

Mumbletypeg October 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Mister Resist-er Talks Like A Transistor

not that Dewey October 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Ohm my gosh.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 29, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Say Watt?

Radiotherapy October 29, 2012 at 8:36 pm

He's in parallel universe.

bobbert October 29, 2012 at 8:58 pm

That's a series accusation.

GeorgiaBurning October 29, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Shockley effect libel!

Lucidamente1 October 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Fapping furiously can help pass the time, especially if there's a blackout.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Remember to stay hydrated, though!

GregComlish October 29, 2012 at 10:06 pm

just make sure you've saved up some emergency porn on your harddrive and that you've got an extra laptop battery.

mrblifil October 30, 2012 at 8:28 am

Rinse, repeat.

Terry October 29, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Self made men with rich and well connected Daddies

Gleem McShineys October 29, 2012 at 7:48 pm

You! Get into the Quiet Room before saying that kind of thing.

Terry October 29, 2012 at 6:31 pm

The winds are getting stronger as its getting darker. Bad for the nerves.

At the height of a hurricane, and I've been through more than my fair share on the Gulf Coast, the winds sound like a living thing screaming around outside of your building. It makes you understand how a legend like a banshee could get its start.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 6:31 pm

stay safe.

chascates October 29, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I remember seeing a documentary on a hurricane hitting Florida. The guy filming it was a weather forecaster (and devout Christian, praying throughout his video) and he showed his toilet. The water was sucked out of it and the TOILET WAS HOWLING!

Terry October 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

When I lived in south Louisiana, it was common place to see water come shooting up out of storm drains sometimes in some fairly dramatic fountains. It would happen in floor drains if the proper traps, etc, hadn't been installed, too.

The howling noises rub my nerves raw and remember in a hurricane those frickin noises can go on for hours, depending on the storm.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 6:50 pm

we're actually getting enough (storm related) winds here in chi that they're closing lake front roads.

can't even imagine what it must be like there or how big this fucker is.

Terry October 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

The idea that Lake Michigan will be getting 15-20 ft waves tomorrow from this storm is just mind blowing.

finallyhappy October 29, 2012 at 7:39 pm

My son is concerned because they keep talking on the local news about staying away from windows and we have big trees(and they keep showing the tree that fell on the house in DC). I told him to stop listening to TV and the internet. I do hear our wind -although my husband has the big TV turned up loudly to some noisy show.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm

I don't see what's all the hub-bub, bub. Here, it's 75 degrees with cloudless skies and I'm heading out to kick back on the new deck with a pitcher of margys.

Of course, downside is, it's still Texas.

chascates October 29, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Hey! It was 35 this morning up here north of Austin! It's 68 now and I've been in shorts and T-shirts most of the day though.

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 6:51 pm

62 right now, here in north Florida…which is pretty danged chilly, for us…

MosesInvests October 29, 2012 at 10:30 pm

You in J-ville?

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Some south of there, by about 400+ years… ;0)

iTuna October 30, 2012 at 9:46 am

Yeah, here in Waco, the mornings have been cold, but the days are generally beautiful so far this week.

UW8316154 October 29, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Light clouds and 61 in Northwest Washington, light wind, occasional showers.

BlueStateLibel October 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm

We shall have our revenge November 6th come hell or high water.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I have my early ballot and am voting… who should I vote for? I live in Arizona — blue skies, no sign of any rain at all, sorry East Coasters, stay safe…

These decisions are so hard for me sometimes, me having a vajayjay and all.

Geminisunmars October 29, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Hasn't your man told you how to vote yet?

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Hasn't your man master told you how to vote yet?

That's more like it.

Geminisunmars October 29, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Oh, please please forgive me. I had a lapse. If I make you a sammich can I go back to starching your collars?

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Why yes. Also, I like having my bedsheets ironed.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I wasn't listening I guess, too many shirts to iron and sandwiches to make and snotty noses to wipe.

Geminisunmars October 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I swear to you, LibL, that I hadn't seen your response before I responded Flagass. I guess us vajayjay owners are similarly indoctrinated.

Callyson October 29, 2012 at 7:18 pm

VOTE FOR CARMONA AND TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO DO THE SAME!!!

OK, sorry about the shouting, but I lived in AZ for three years and I still have friends there who are fighting the good fight, and they need all the help they can get. The mere fact that fucking Flake is in a close race when he expected a blowout gives me some hope for humanity…

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Yeah, Carmona is a good pick. I loved his last ad… he took actual footage of John McCain and Jon Kyl praising him from his Surgeon General confirmation hearings. That was then, this is now and Carmona is running as a Democrat, so John and Jon are in a snit because Carmona is using their own words.

mrblifil October 30, 2012 at 8:27 am

I'm gonna need to see proof of that vajayjay.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 6:33 pm

i hope all of you in the path of this thing have unrestricted access to wonkette.

fawkedifiknow October 29, 2012 at 6:35 pm

This would be a good time to test out that theory of "prayer," and see if there really is anything to it. My guess is, no.

Detesticle October 29, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Today from @benschwartzy — "Unfair to say Romney is anti-FEMA. He may have just thought you said 'female.'"

BarackMyWorld October 29, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Sandy? Pfft…every hurricane should just be called Wendy.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Did you know my college girlfriend? Wendy.

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Would it be raining beef?

Doktor Zoom October 29, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Does she have stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies?

Rosie_Scenario October 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Great. I think it was "Windy" but that was years ago and I could be wrong.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 29, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Why, did she blow the east coast too?

Thedongsofwar October 29, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Thanks for the reminder. I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this website already hates Mitt. Except for the pony/penis cataloging folks at WONKETTEWATCH!

Lucidamente1 October 29, 2012 at 6:43 pm

"And another thing: the U.S. Army has less waders now than it did in 1917. Just think of General Pershing striding across the Meuse, and you'll realize what we've lost under this president."

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 6:47 pm

The sick part of Mitt's global warming mention were the people at the convention laughing at the dumbass joke. Because they know that man doesn't affect climate, hurricanes are just Jesus tears.

Callyson October 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

No snark–good luck to all of you back east. I hope my relatives out there don't drown.

mavenmaven October 29, 2012 at 6:52 pm

According to the repubs, if you don't believe in something, it just doesn't happen, so a vote for Romney will make global warming go away, whereas a vote for Obama means four more years of worsening weather.
Likewise for trickle down economics, etc.

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 6:55 pm

"My promise is to help you and your family." (looks around room at all-white, rich, conservative audience)

BoroPrimorac October 29, 2012 at 6:57 pm

If you click on CNN you'll be able to see Erin Burnett getting pounded by Sandy.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 7:06 pm

That's a nice hate-fuck. Go Sandy!

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I didn't realize Sandy swung that way. Incoming Fox News headline!

BREAKING: OBAMA CAUSES HOMOSEXUAL SUPERSTORM TO POUND NEW JERSEY

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 7:03 pm

So the climate science predictions turn out to be correct, but it doesn't matter. The beauty of being a denialist is you don't have to make any predictions. Just say the scientists are corrupt liberal leftist communists etc and shout no it isn't to every bit of science. Then no matter what the climate does, even if it tracks 100% with the science, the denialists can just say the climate is changing like it always has and could have just as easily gone 100% in the other direction.

Goonemeritus October 29, 2012 at 7:11 pm

“Hai East Coast, what’s new? Sorry about your DEATH CRANE! We are just chilling here in sunny Californy”

Hey even 3 feet under water with massive cranes falling from the sky Manhattan still makes L.A. look like a warm bag of vomit.

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Yeah, but it's warm, right?

finallyhappy October 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm

hey, I just watched a show about Mashti Malone's iranian ice cream – ever been there?
I'm here in metro Dc with my friend, Sandy

HarryButtle October 29, 2012 at 7:12 pm

I imagine the rural areas will be slower to clean up than the cities, many will probably be without power on election day. So I can hardly wait for the "DERP!" outcry next Tuesday when Bamz wins the election.

PubOption October 29, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Might they have to use paper ballots instead of voting machines? Could buying those machines have been a bad investment for the Romneys?

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Oh wow, you too? I have plenty of family in Brick, a few of them are stubborn enough to ride it out in an area too close to the shore for my liking. Hopefully everything works out for everyone.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Hurricane Sandy – Sandy in Grease – John Travolta in Grease – John Travolta Gay

OMIGOD! The conservatives r rite! Teh huricane is becuz of teh blu ghey states!!!!11And ISrael!

weejee October 29, 2012 at 7:57 pm

You just aced the exam for Logic 423 – Hyperbolic Extension of Circular Reasoning.

W. E. B. Du Bois weeps.

Flávio October 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm

i'm brazilian, SUCK IT

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Hey kids, the Killer B's are back!!

Flávio October 29, 2012 at 7:32 pm

i'm the only b here

Gleem McShineys October 29, 2012 at 8:06 pm

i'm brazilian, SUCK IT

This changes everything. I guess "kkkkkkkkk" is the sound of gagging?

starfanglednut October 29, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

sudsmckenzie October 29, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Dinner first Falvio.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 10:29 pm

With a nice Chianti.

UW8316154 October 29, 2012 at 10:57 pm

That's a rather aggressive introduction, Flavio, we're trying to make friends via intercultural exchange here….

BaldarTFlagass October 30, 2012 at 7:53 am

Perhaps the Republicans printed their own special edition of "How to Win Friends and Influence People." And Flavio read it.

snowpointsecret October 29, 2012 at 7:18 pm

So apparently we're expecting an inch or two of snow tonight, which wouldn't be that huge if I didn't remember "yeah this is still a hybrid storm off the coast of New Jersey". Sandy was apparently told it could be anything when she grew up and she took it a bit too literally and became everything.

BumbleKid October 29, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Mittens is such a comfort to all of us on the east coast who are about to drown

OneDollarJuana October 29, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Yep. DEATH CRANE still there.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Death Crane. Isn't that some deadly martial arts move that Uma Thurman learned in them Kill Bill movies?

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 7:51 pm

That's the big screen, martial arts Frazier movie that can't seem to get off the ground. The climactic battle with Sam Malone in the script is epic.

LibrarianX October 29, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I wouldn't be surprised if Romney bet against coastal residents by buying up property inland, just like that Superman movie…waitaminute! Mitt Romney is Lex Luthor? Only not as bright.

ThundercatHo October 29, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Or charming

rocktonsam October 29, 2012 at 7:44 pm

where the hell is Trump?

get out there and save your city!

pussy

Veritas78 October 29, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Ya know, that Death Crane looks just like Jesus' penis. I don't think they'll ever be able to take it down now.

mosjef October 29, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Mitt still blows more than Sandy.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I thought he sucks?

emmelemm October 29, 2012 at 9:27 pm

"It sucks AND blows!"

rocktonsam October 29, 2012 at 7:46 pm

where the hell is Trump?

weejee October 29, 2012 at 7:58 pm

He's having a really bad hair day.

Butch_Wagstaff October 29, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Sandy really messed up that blow dry.

DerrickWildcat October 29, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Sean Hannity is just going to be asking why Obama did or didn't do that thing.

mosjef October 29, 2012 at 8:13 pm

In home at NJ shore…up to my neck in water…it's bath night.

ThundercatHo October 29, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Making calls to recruit people to help get out the vote and accidently got a total dickwad Rmoney man, may he drown in a puddle of his own vomit. All you Wonkers stay safe out there and go vote and volunteer with Bamz campaign. The get out the vote is really the fun part.

redarmyzombie October 29, 2012 at 8:47 pm

stay safe, wonketeers, and pray that shithead gets the Clap.

decentcitizen October 29, 2012 at 9:06 pm

The thing is whether you believe in climate change produced by human activity or not, it still sucks to have your house under water.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 9:18 pm

That Sandy is such a home-wrecker.

Redgyal October 29, 2012 at 9:35 pm

The election should be postponed if the hurricanes causes damage. It just isn't right to make people deal with this and waiting in some long line to push some buttons.

MissNancyPriss October 29, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I think if I were alone in the dark with the sirens and the tent flapping noises, I would have a series of mini-strokes. Stay brave, intrepid New Yorkers!

frostbitefalls October 29, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Hang in there east coast liberals! Help is on the way.

ttommyunger October 29, 2012 at 11:03 pm

The world hasn't seen that much hate-filled superiority in one room since the beer garden days in the 20's. Good times…

Negropolis October 30, 2012 at 6:30 am

Totally forgot that about Hitler. lol

ttommyunger October 30, 2012 at 9:03 am

Vegetarian too. Thus the constant farting. Tough on a guy (and his aides). That bunker must have reekedSent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Negropolis October 30, 2012 at 10:37 pm

The vegetarian thing I've never forgotten – I mean the absurdity of ordering the extermination of human beings while eschewing eating meat was enough cognitive dissonance to stick in my mind – but I didn't remember him not drinking.

ttommyunger October 30, 2012 at 11:21 pm

He was an amazing repository of contradictions as well as the embodiment of evil.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

mrblifil October 30, 2012 at 8:25 am

Day 2 of closed schools. SCHOOLMAGEDDON!!1!

Seriously, rode out a rough night last night with next to no damage, loss of power, we even still have cable. All cued up for a nice bout of survival guilt. My favorite brewery in Red Hook Brooklyn got trashed so at least I have some vector by which I can feel personal involvement.

finallyhappy October 30, 2012 at 9:52 am

Oh, no-I just saw a story about a nice little bakery in RedHook Brooklyn and was going to visit them in December. I will check on them

DahBoner October 30, 2012 at 8:29 am

What game does the Romney family play to help Eastcoasters who don't know how to swim?

"Will it Float?"

greencar October 30, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Find new employment Rebecca, your bias is so obvious! I can guarantee you that Mitt is on the ground helping people now. Oh he beat me to it, already gave up his tour bus for the relief effort! What is barak doing? Hopefully more than Bill, Idid not have sex with that woman Clinton is. Another disgrace along with obuma.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 29, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Ah, the 'ol "go play in a hurricane" bit. Be sure and say hi to Ollie. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L9fhxa8yFb0

not that Dewey October 29, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I'm a farad I can't respond to it.

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