MITT'S TIME  2:15 pm October 29, 2012

Mitt Romney: Why Can’t Amercia Be More Like China?

by Kris E. Benson

romney, right before his screen saver went onOh goody, more incriminating audio from a Mitt Romney fundraiser. This one is  from a fundraiser he and his wife attended at the Irvine, California, home of David Horowitz (a different David Horowitz) back in March, and although Mittens didn’t insult half of the nation, he DID say that Obama considers businesspeople “a necessary evil” and his wife said that the president is not a “grown-up.” Also, did you know that China is a better place to do business than the U.S. (which surely has nothing to do with all those young women who are locked into Romney factories at night)? And that Obama wants half of the economy to be “controlled by government”? Well, now you do.

First of all, if Romney wins, it’s Ann’s fault. Actually, the way Romney tells it, all of this is Ann’s fault:

After being introduced, the Republican candidate noted that he had been pushed into his second campaign for president by his wife:

David, you mentioned Ann, and the fact that she insisted that I get in this race. That is the truth. I wanted to talk it over with her. And every time I’d say, “Let’s talk about the pros and cons,” she’d say, “Talk to the hand, talk to the hand. We’re just doing this. We’ve got to do it.” And so she absolutely insisted that I get in this because she was convinced that I was the only one that had the capacity to beat President Obama.

Also, Obama? Well, he’s a nice guy and everything, but he thinks that you’re a loser. No, really. He does.

[Romney said,] I’m convinced that if this president is reelected, the war on business and economic freedom will continue. I don’t think the president likes you very much. If you’re in business, I think he looks at you as a necessary evil—and maybe not so necessary. I love you, all right? I love, I love business. I love people who employ other people, who have dreams and ideas, and are willing to start enterprises, and put people to work—all good things grow from successful enterprises. Businesses—good jobs come from good businesses.

But no worries, because China is better than America for business, which Romney knows an AWFUL LOT ABOUT, from what we hear:

When I heard the head of Coca-Cola say that the business environment in America is less hospitable than the business environment in China, I knew we had a problem. I want to make sure that America has the most attractive business conditions in the world—that every entrepreneur once again says, “I want to be an American.” Whether it’s energy or regulation or tax policy or labor policy or legal policy or health care policy—I want America to be the best place for business.

Yes, if only our businesses were staffed by underaged girls wanting to get married, they would thrive and America would prosper once again. LISTEN TO THE GROWNUP on this one.

[Mother Jones]

 
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{ 126 comments }

DrunkIrishman October 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Good news, folks: Only one more week until we never see his, or Ann's, face again!

nounverb911 October 29, 2012 at 2:21 pm

When does Mitt announce for 2016?

HistoriCat October 29, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Ann will stop pushing Mitt to run and switch her demands onto one of her sons. Oh no – it's like the Bush family on steroids …

zumpie October 29, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Or she'll join forces with Linda after her second CT senate bid fails and put Taggy (he likes to hit people) on the WWE

emmelemm October 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Aren't you a cock-eyed optimist? (Also, drunk.)

Callyson October 29, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Now that you mention it, he's probably the one losing Republican who *won't* be sending his resume to FOX News…

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I find this thought very easy to fap to.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I wonder if he will finally Go Galt and never darken our TV screens again.

PsycWench October 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Your mouth to Goddess' ear.

Texan_Bulldog October 29, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Why do I think we'll be seeing Ann on Dancing with the Stars? I foresee an Ann vs. Bristol smack down.

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Rafalca does all the dancing in the Romney family.

GhostBuggy October 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Well, it's the only way she can fairly compete with Bristol's clip-clopping about the dance floor, isn't it?

ibwilliamsi October 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm

If there's Ann on Bristol bitch-slapping, it will be the ONE DWTS that I'll ever have had a desire to watch.

ibwilliamsi October 29, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Thank god he has his own money, or we'd be subjected to his and/or Ann's being an "expert correspondent" on Dumbfucks News. I get the feeling that they will bury themselves so deep that we won't see them for years. PLEASE GOD!

redarmyzombie October 29, 2012 at 8:26 pm

I dunno, they're kinda like Herpes, in that they never truly go away…

Redgyal October 29, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I hope so.

Come here a minute October 29, 2012 at 2:18 pm

This should wake up the complacent voters who still remain undecided. If Mitt Romney is elected president we will all be forced to eat with chopsticks!

PsycWench October 29, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Wouldn't that slow down the eating of all those anusburgers? Is it possible that Ms. Anti-Obesity Michelle Obama will be the real winner?

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 29, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Chopsticks work great for poking people in the eye.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"I heard the head of Coca-Cola say that the business environment in America is less hospitable than the business environment in China,"

I think the head of Coca-Cola meant to say that the labor environment in America is less hospitable than the labor environment in China, at least for business owners.

reweni October 29, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Clearly we should be more like a country run by an actual communist party rather than a crypto-communist muslim.

1stNewtontheMoon October 29, 2012 at 5:27 pm

that's all they mean anymore. It's no different than every northern businessman (and future carpetbagger) decrying the hospitable labor environs of the American South (pre-1861). If only it could be like that here!

Blueb4sinrise October 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Must be 'No Fapping' Monday.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 2:53 pm

No. No it's not.

Blueb4sinrise October 29, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Wuts yer secrit?

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 3:13 pm

You're soaking in it.

Blueb4sinrise October 29, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Palm-o-live.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poorgradstudent October 29, 2012 at 2:21 pm

If "economic freedom" means I can't afford to buy 90% of the things I see advertised on the teevee, then let Nobammers run my bank account plz.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 2:21 pm

"every entrepreneur once again says, “I want to be an American…"

…so I can take advantage of tax loopholes and park all my money in secret accounts in tax havens like Luxembourg, Switzerland, the Isle of Man, Guernsey, Monaco, Caymans, etc etc etc.

dr_giraud October 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm

"Talk to the hand," Egg? Really?

SexySmurf October 29, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I wonder if she also called Mitt "the bomb?"

succalina October 29, 2012 at 2:39 pm

NOT.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm

or Da Man!

zumpie October 29, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Rserved for Michael Steele when Bachmann's talking—or at least it used to be!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 29, 2012 at 2:58 pm

She thinks Mitt is totally tubular!

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 3:05 pm

That's so radical, like far out, man.

MosesInvests October 29, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Groovy.

SigDeFlyinMonky October 29, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Fino del mundo!

GunToting[Redacted] October 29, 2012 at 5:10 pm

No she DI'IN'T!

Fairtackle October 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Funny how she makes the word "love" sound dirty, and not the good kind of dirty.

Tequila Mockingbird October 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm

You heard him, America! Start making babies who can do calculus and play violin!

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 2:34 pm

But, how's he going to keep the kids in school all the time without hiring more teachers?

Loch_Nessosaur October 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Next on Queen Egg's to do list: get all the Chinese addicted to opium then move the jobs back to the US and pay the poorz 75 cents a day.

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Callyson October 29, 2012 at 2:23 pm

“Talk to the hand, talk to the hand. We’re just doing this. We’ve got to do it.”

Worst come-on line ever…

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Sounds like self-sevicing to me…

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 29, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I want to know just where her hand was. Ew. No I don't. Damn. CAN'T UNSEE.

ManchuCandidate October 29, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Mittens wants a Combo Numba 5.
Koch fried health regulations
Chicken Shit Lo Means Wages
Lo Tax Roll
Pork with Die Environmental Dye Number 1
And At Least One Ton of Cyanide in Your Drinking Water Soup.

Fortune Cookie: Confusious Sez: Slimy Two Faced Shit, still Shitty.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Ann told him to talk to the hand? Oh no she didn't!

Do people still say that?

Mumbletypeg October 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Ann told him to talk to the hand?

Mrs. Janna Ryan could learn a thing or two from this while she's perfecting her craft.

PsycWench October 29, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"People" do not say that, no.

kyeshinka October 29, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Tchya. Gag me with a spoon!

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 29, 2012 at 2:24 pm

They should institute some sort of policy in which all workers are "owned" by their employers. There could be different sorts of workers and we could divide them up by, oh I don't know, maybe the color of their skin, for instance. And it would be in the owners best interest to keep their workers healthy and happy because that would make them more productive. I bet that sort if system would be good for business.

Nowisallthereis October 29, 2012 at 3:01 pm

If you do "Healthy" and "In Chains" that is cheaper than "Happy". If they are in chains who cares of they are happy? That would be GREAT for business.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 4:32 pm

With God as my witness, someday, before I die, I will own a family of crackers!!

SexySmurf October 29, 2012 at 2:24 pm

And that Obama wants half of the economy to be “controlled by government”?

But Mittens wants us to be like China, where 100% of the economy is controlled by the government.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Perfect.

Sophist[Kochblocker] October 29, 2012 at 2:25 pm

So Democrats are bad because they want to make us like Socialist Europe, but Republicans are good because they want to make us like Communist China?

Huh?

kyeshinka October 29, 2012 at 2:27 pm

It's best if you don't try to think about it.

Fox n Fiends October 29, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Sure, its the people's REPUBLIC of china, not the people's DEMOCRAT of china.

kyeshinka October 29, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Uh oh. Someone sounds not crazy patriotic enough. Looks like his rallies of tubby exurban Medicare-scooter welfare grannies will be nothing but nonstop singing of America the Beautiful, all six verses. Nobody leaves until the song is memorized.

SorosBot October 29, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Oh that's such a horrible suggestion, that Obama may see the horrific corporate executives as evil just because they are pure evil piles of shit who are determined to fuck over America for profit,.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Mitt will give us a chicken foot in every wok.

kittensdontlie October 29, 2012 at 2:44 pm

And the promise of a car-elevator in every garage.

freakishlywrong October 29, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Uh..Egg..you people have noticed the soaring Dow and the record-breaking profits of businesses under the little black man child, right?

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 2:49 pm

You mean the black dude under whom corporate profits have risen at the highest rate for any President since 1900, by a factor of well over 4?

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Gawd, the more I learn about Entitled Egg the more I detest her.

UnholyMoses October 29, 2012 at 4:32 pm

♫ The incredible
entitled bitch Egg ♫

WhatTheHolyHeck October 29, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Mittbot is really missing the mark by not adopting the Newtster's plan for school kid janitorial services. It's more Chinese than a Foxconn suicide.

Maman October 29, 2012 at 2:27 pm

China is business friendly? Chairman Mao must be rolling over in his grave.

Callyson October 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm

But perhaps his most heartfelt remark came when he was concluding his talk and told these donors, "I want to let you go back to work so you can earn more money to give to me."

And now we have the details regarding Mittens' tax policy: it's a kickback scheme.

Wadisay October 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Lady Macbeth: Why did you bring these daggers from the place?
They must lie there. Go carry them, and smear the sleepy grooms with blood.

Macbeth: I'll go no more. I am afraid to think what I have done; Look on't again I dare not.

Lady Macbeth: Infirm of purpose! Give me the daggers. The sleeping and the dead are but as pictures; 'tis the eye of childhood that fears a painted [read, Negro] devil.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Mitt, really, that whole "bed-head" thing is so ten years ago…

BlueMonkeh October 29, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I get a horrible "greasy old man hair" smell in my brain every time I see this picture.

Mittaplasia October 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Ewww, and a whiff of Old Spice, mebbe?

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 2:53 pm

He's improving his likeability score by playing out everyone's favorite scene in There's Something About Mary.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Franks and beans.

Goonemeritus October 29, 2012 at 2:29 pm

We are well on track to catch-up with China’s business friendly environment. I’m convinced we are only a year or two away from having to install nets on our businesses to keep employee suicides to a minimum just like them

Lucidamente1 October 29, 2012 at 2:29 pm

"Also, nobody in China laughs when you mention the planet Kolob."

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Such.
A.
Dick.

orygoon October 29, 2012 at 2:30 pm

“Talk to the hand, talk to the hand. We’re just doing this. We’ve got to do it.”

I was baffled by programming language back in college. And this simply fails to make that shit any clearer.

Maybe this?

1. RUN FOR PRESIDENT 2008
2. IF FAIL WAIT (YEARS X 4)
3. GOTO 1

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Being of a more C-family mind, I'd go with:

isPresident = RunForPresident();
while (!isPresident) {
sleep(4 years);
isPresident = RunForPresident();
}

CthuNHu October 29, 2012 at 4:13 pm

1. RUN FOR PRESIDENT 2008
2. IF FAIL WAIT (YEARS X 4); GOTO 1
3. IF SUCCEED OPEN CHANNEL TO KOLOB
4. TRANSMIT "STAGE 1 COMPLETE"
5. TRANSMIT "STANDING BY FOR INSTRUCTIONS"

mull_man October 29, 2012 at 4:42 pm

[cntl]+c
[cntl]+c
[cntl]+c

sudsmckenzie October 29, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I just assume Egg wore something terrible.

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 2:32 pm

the mittbot doesn't seem to come with a mute button does it?

BlueMonkeh October 29, 2012 at 2:33 pm

my god what a dickweed

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm

i think egg romney is the biggest reason to vote for bamz.

well, except for that whole SCOTUS thing.

Terry October 29, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Whenever I hear Romney speak, I have an overwhelming desire to chant "Asshole! Asshole!" like we used to at college basketball games. Back in my rude youth.

Nibbler of Niblonia October 29, 2012 at 2:38 pm

vinegar strokes

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Considering that all of Bamz's campaign materials are made here in America and all of Mitten's campaign materials are made in China, I can see that Romney thinks China is a better, cheaper place to do business than America.

Mittaplasia October 29, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Was Egg asking him to talk to the hand that does the thing that her mouth isn't allowed to do? Wow, she expects a lot for a little hand job which he probably will never get unless he wins.

Cleopatriot October 29, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Shut up Ann. Just shut it. No one cares what you think. Especially not Mitt–come on, you're a woman. He doesn't even think you're human, much less an adult.

kittensdontlie October 29, 2012 at 2:51 pm

In another interview, the Etch-a-Sketch said he dragged Ann into this race kicking and screaming.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 2:56 pm

That's what I thought. I could've swore I heard that after getting his metal ass handed to him by McCain in 08 and Egg's health issues that she said 'no more politics'. Yet again, the Etch a Sketch is shaken.

sullivanst October 29, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Multiple interviews, apparently.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 3:02 pm

It's obvious who drives the jet ski in that family.

VodkaGoGo October 29, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I havent been paying attention to politics lately because it makes me want to throw rocks at strangers but I went to a Halloween party this weekend and I was shocked by how many Romney votes were in attendance. I can't believe it's even this close. This guy basicly hates the working class and unintentionally says as much every fucking day. "Some of my best friends employ losers like you"

Fox n Fiends October 29, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I think it was Mark Twain who put it best; "People are fucking stupid fucks."

EnnuiThereYet? October 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm

All I hear in my head is Rex Harrison sing-talking Why Can't a Woman be More Like a Man?

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I love, I love business.

yeah, that pretty much sums up everything i hate about mitt romney.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 29, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Wow. I really, really do not like these people.

ChickTract_Fil_A October 29, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Egg Romney in a 'talk to the hand' pose? Worst FLOTUS Files graphic evah!

HistoriCat October 29, 2012 at 3:11 pm

If Romney is elected, Blair Burke will need to be put on a suicide watch.

Generation[redacted] October 29, 2012 at 2:54 pm

To have a business-friendly environment like China, we need fewer workplace regulations and more suicide nets.

oenspiek October 29, 2012 at 3:02 pm

If desperate, oppressed workers are liable to commit suicide, a la Foxcomm, it sounds like a business niche to me. If they want to die, charge 'em for it, record it, then sell it on payperview.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 3:04 pm

To have a business-friendly environment like China, we need fewer workplace regulations and more suicide nets.

Something that Forever21 is trying to accomplish in Los Angeles with their very own sweatshop.

Jerri October 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Something that Forever21 is trying to accomplish in Los Angeles with their very own sweatshop.

John 3:16 libel!

Mittaplasia October 29, 2012 at 3:07 pm

There once was a trollop named Egg
For her hot sex the Mittster would beg
She said, "Your bell I will ring, if you become king
But 'til then you ain't gettin' no laig."

cousinitt October 29, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Mitt just wants to practice his love with folders full of women all across this country.

102415 October 29, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Mitt doesn't need the job but it sounds like Ann does. After all she's never had one.

cousinitt October 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I dunno. I think Mittens would prefer Egg and all other wimmenz be able to keep her feet up. If you know what I mean and I think you do.

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Gee in China you get to treat labor like the slaves they should be. And none of those pesky environmental regulations to get all upset about.

Millennial Malaise October 29, 2012 at 3:22 pm

It amazes me that the video where Mitt Rmoney admist to owning a sweatshop isn't more popular. I feel it would go over super well with the Neo-Confederates.

UW8316154 October 29, 2012 at 4:01 pm

What is it with the tight-assed Republican political wives who have more ambition than their husbands? Yeah, I'm looking at you too, Calista.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Why are we listening to anything the Mittbot says? He will say literally anything. And the people inclined to listen to him will hear him say that ONE thing and will simply regurgitate it as gospel.

Abernathy October 29, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Today, we are all currency manipulators.

LibrarianX October 29, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Who needs caffeine when you've got Egg around? No wonder Mitt always seems so twitchy.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 4:26 pm

What the fuck is that picture, some horrifying cross between Beeker and Bullworth?! http://joymachine.typepad.com/northern_planner/im
http://www.upcoming-movies.com/ashx/WFTCRMImageFe

mavenmaven October 29, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I hope all those poor white Romneyites know that Romney is just waiting to round them up and put them to work on low paying 12 hour shifts. After all, what's good for the "job creators" is good for America.

fawkedifiknow October 29, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Whew. For a minute there I was afraid Romney was going to engage in some naked class warfare, and lying, and – dare I say it? Bullshitting.

Biff October 29, 2012 at 10:55 pm
DahBoner October 29, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Maker of caramel-colored sugar water says what?

chascates October 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Romney wants to turn America into a giant labor prison just like China.

rwsx2 October 29, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Mittens is a genuine Lombard — Lots Of Money But A Real Dick.

(Respect to William Gibson for the term Lombard.)

ttommyunger October 29, 2012 at 10:53 pm

But will you love me long time?

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