running for the moral high ground

Ghost Breitbart Notes Hypocrisy In Lack Of Dumb Political Hurricane Jokes

shocked and disgusted pony is shocked and disgustedGuys, you will not believed this, but Joel Pollak, the genius non-email-reading editor in chief at Breitbart.com is very unhappy about the hypocrisy of the left! You see, Mr. Pollak has noticed that even though there were a number of jokes about Hurricane Isaac and the GOP Convention blowing into Tampa, Florida, at the same time, very few people are making political jokes about Hurricane Sandy. In a veritable storm surge of butthurt, he calls attention to this very revealing lack of dumb jokes:

In August, the left found it amusing to speculate about Divine judgment when Hurricane Isaac seemed to be approaching Tampa, FL as the Republican National Convention began… As Hurricane Sandy bears down on heavily Democratic mid-Atlantic and northeast states, no one, left or right, is joking.

Pollak details some of the horrific, tasteless comments made at the time of Hurricane Isaac:

Samuel L. Jackson tweeted that it was “unfair” that the GOP had been spared the wrath of the hurricane (and quickly apologized).

Former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm said of Hurricane Isaac, and its potential effect on the Republican National Convention: “I guess God has ways to shut that whole thing down.”

Dana Milbank of the Washington Post asked whether God had “forsaken the Republican party.”

David Letterman called Hurricane Isaac proof that “God is a woman.”

Needless to say, this is because the left is hypocritical, and the right is just too darn decent and caring to crack wise about such srs business. It could not possibly have anything to do with the fact that this storm…uh…doesn’t happen to coincide with a national political party convention.

True, Pollack acknowledges, “some rather dull things were said by a few religious leaders about why Hurricane Katrina had devastated New Orleans.” You know, dull things. Like how every hurricane is God’s punishment for teh ghey, somehow.

Reaching for his emergency weather radio and smelling salts, Pollak adds:

As Hurricane Sandy approaches the Atlantic coast, with several blue states about to bear the brunt, conservatives are not taking the same license. Instead they, like most Americans, are focused on the danger at hand, with preparations for evacuation and prayers for those in the storm’s path.

Conservatives simply do not sink so low as to engage in mere japery or politicking regarding natural disasters, after all. Consider the classy response of Michele Bachmann who soberly said, after Washington DC was hit by a mild earthquake and by Hurricane Irene in 2011,

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’”

“Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Or consider the ever-tasteful Erick, Son of Erick, who had this solemn prayer for those in storm’s path:

focused on the danger at hand

[Big Government]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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118 comments

  1. Barbara_

    Best storm joke on twitter, so far:
    Per TWC, it's a hurricane within a nor'easter within a snowstorm. Sandy, I name thee… #STORMDUCKEN

    1. Arken

      Two good ones from Andy Kindler-

      @AndyKindler Bloomberg vows that storm will not slow down the enforcement of soft drink laws.

      @AndyKindler Hurricane Update: In low lying areas evacuate to the nearest empty theater showing Cloud Atlas.

  2. snowpointsecret

    Instead of making jokes, Republicans try to smear Democrats, as if that's far more responsible or something.

    Damn, how the hell can I snark about this of all things?

  3. Disassembly

    I predict that the Romney campaign will condemn Obama for his handling of the storm, clarify by saying that Mitt Romney agrees with all of the President's actions and finally blame Obama's fecklessness for the hurricane attacking us in the first place.

  4. Mumbletypeg

    Former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm said of Hurricane Isaac, and its potential effect on the Republican National Convention: “I guess God has ways to shut that whole thing down.”

    Priceless! Also, seems I heard that same joke retweetedgurgitated around these parts recently…

  5. Texan_Bulldog

    "the left found it amusing to speculate about Divine judgment when Hurricane Isaac seemed to be approaching Tampa, FL as the Republican National Convention began…"

    We found it amusing because Mittens is a douchebag. And because the RNC is so fucking stupid to hold conventions in hurricane-prone states.

  6. LastGasp

    There are no jokes about hurricane Sandy because the liberals realize that Romney The Destroyer just might win the White House. No amount of storm damage will match what Romney has planned for Amercia.

  7. Ryy

    Ah the ever Klassy Erick Erickson. The guy who SWATed himself cause other righties were getting too much attention for it. A douche supreme.

  8. Tequila Mockingbird

    Former Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm said of Hurricane Isaac, and its potential effect on the Republican National Convention: “I guess God has ways to shut that whole thing down.”

    Okay, which one of you is Jennfier Granholm?

  9. An_Outhouse

    I have a colleague named Sandy. I've been blaming her for the destruction of NYC all day. She thinks I'm a hoot.

  10. calliecallie

    Republicans have no sense of humor. Irony, also. If they did, how could they possibly behave as they do?

    1. Gleem McShineys

      They wouldn't be able to recognize a joke if it came right up and asked them to vote for him.

    2. CommieLibunatic

      Word. This is the same camp full of clowns who don't know Colbert is relentlessly mocking them.

  11. Callyson

    FFS, now the wingnuts want to complain about a lack of jokes? They should take a good look at their lineup of candidates if they want a good, twisted LMFAO moment…

  12. SnarkOff

    Erick Erickson is stuck at level one, "basic trust vs. basic mistrust," in Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development.

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    Well, Erick, they're making plenty of jokes about it down here in Texas, if that makes you feel any better. And guess what political party the majority of Texans belong to?

  14. iburl

    I love how 4 Americans get killed in Lybia and it's wall-to-wall coverage of how horrible president Obama is, and when 2000 Americans are killed in the USA, it's wall-to-wall coverage of what a hero Bush is.

  15. snowpointsecret

    By the way, am I the only one picturing Doktor Zoom riding off into the sunset on his trusty pink steed?

  16. GhostBuggy

    I like that Sam Jackson, Letterman, Jennifer Granholm and Dana fuckin' Milbank are the representative sample of liberals. I know I always do whatever Dana Milbank tells me to do!

  17. kittensdontlie

    "government is on a morbid obesity diet "

    Yea, but the camera always adds at least ten pounds.

  18. SexySmurf

    the right is just too darn decent and caring to crack wise about such srs business.

    I thought it was because conservatives aren't funny.

    1. VodkaGoGo

      Conservitives are funny, I have a funny uncle who is a conservative. We dont talk to him much, something about a swimsuit, not sure but that guy was funny. He turned into a tickle monster whenever he listened to Rush.

  19. Lucidamente1

    Last year after tornadoes struck Missouri, Eric Cantor said that any disaster relief would have to be offset by budget cuts elsewhere. Now his district is about to get clobbered by Hurricane Sandy. That's fucking hilarious, don't you think?

      1. OneDollarJuana

        Nope. Gone. In fact, all of lower Manhattan seems to have been blown away. The webcam is just gray.

  20. SoBeach

    Florida + hurricane = funny. Just like tornado + trailer park = funny.

    Hurricanes don't much factor into the ways we make fun of New Jersey and New York.

    Or the ways we make fun of ridiculous, butt-hurt, theatrically indignant wingnuts.

  21. weejee

    Looks to me that the spot where Washington crossed the Delaware is right in Sandy's cross-hairs. Is this blow job Cornwallis' revenge?

      1. weejee

        Rall's surprise was on Boxing Day, 1776. On Jan 2, 1777 Georgie again crossed the Delaware and spanked Lord Cornwallis before taking the Continentals to Trump Tower in Atlantic City for the winter.

  22. UnholyMoses

    Not surprising that this fucktard doesn't get the difference between:

    1.) A tropical storm that everyone knew wouldn't do much damage and that happened to coincide with the convention of a political party that tends to blame things like hurricanes on people they don't like …

    vs.

    2.) One of the largest storms ever recorded that is damn near guaranteed to do massive amounts of damage to the heaviest-populated region of the country and that has NOTHING WHATSOFUCKINGEVER to do with a political party or it's convention or its members.

    Perspective—how does it fucking work?

  23. MissTaken

    Um, maybe the lack of jokes surrounding Sandy is because librul elitists in the Northeast believe in climate change and don't blame weather events on Dark Age mythology about God being pissed at gheys and abortion? Just a thought.

  24. cousinitt

    Do we really care whether Erik, Wether of Erik, thinks the weather is a game being played by Obama?

  25. ChickTract_Fil_A

    Maybe Dubya can help lighten a serious moment. That one about starting the Iraq War and being under a table looking for weapons of mass destruction. Riot.

  26. synykyl

    Republicans aren't making jokes? How about Mitt Romney's promise to send 2 whole campaign buses to help us out?

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Thank you! I'm in Wisconsin but my nerves are shot so I will take that "Be safe" to calm myself the fuck down. Be well!

  27. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It seems to me that if Romney really wants to be president, he has two options to prove his superiority:

    1) By and outsource the storm to China;

    2) Stand on the tip of Long Island, and demand that God divert Sandy to Iran.

    If God is really on the Republican's side, He surely would be willing to stop in and make this clear when Romney commands it.

    1. LagunaB

      Christie actually had nice things to say about Obama and the phone conversation they had today. It was amazing. And then he started to yell about the people who did not evacuate like he told them. So everything is back to normal.

      1. sudsmckenzie

        I actually like him. I respect any 1,000 pound man with the balls to climb in a helicopter (out of general principles). To then demand to go to his sons softball game-for free, well that's just gravy.

  28. LibertyLover

    Somehow, I don't think that the string of pearls that Pollak is clutching are black pearls. (I'll bet they were cultured in China.)

  29. kyeshinka

    Wow these Christian conservatives are really uncreative people. Blame the same shit on the gays all the time? I'll bet you're a real hit at Thanksgiving. At least it gives the relatives a good reason to hit the road before the Doxology is even sung.

  30. imissopus

    Just the other day I told a friend who lives in Jersey "Don't think of it as a storm. Think of it as the shower New Jersey so desperately needs." SEE, WINGNUTS? JOKE!

  31. LibertyLover

    I'm sure that Bush would have kept us safe from the ghey hurricanes….

    What's that?

    Katrina?

    Never mind.

  32. Jus_Wonderin

    With all the evacuations Clint Eastwood is going to have his hands full comforting the empty chairs that have been left behind.

  33. MissTaken

    Hey conservatives! Here's a dumb joke brought to you by Laffy Taffy candy:

    When does it rain money?

    When there's a change in the weather.

    There, now take your stupid weather joke and be gone.

  34. Mittaplasia

    There are too many pearl-clutching handwringing mother-effing drama queens on this mother-effing Republiturd short bus!

  35. Incitefully_Joe

    Wasn't the whole joke with Isaac that every fucking wingnut blames every single fucking raindrop, draught, earthquake, act of terror, etc. etc. etc. on God's judgement for liberals and pagans and gays (see, for example: Katrina, Haiti, 9/11, the record-breaking heat waves and draughts this past summer, et cetera ad infinitum ad nausium), and thus one could note with considerably irony that the RNC was in the path of a hurricane and I wonder what THAT is supposed to mean, then, HENGGGGGH?

    See, you can't really turn this around, because most liberals blame the weather on climate patterns and terrorism on extremist nationist ideologies that spark violent acts against American global hegemony, and don't think praying to Space Gandalf the Giant, Flying Sky-Demon will prevent those things.

    1. Gleem McShineys

      See, you can't really turn this around

      Maybe not, but if you take out all that "making sense" and "following logic" stuff, then what have you got, libtard? Huh?!

    2. pdiddycornchips

      I once asked The Space Giant to please not let the cop find the half pound of weed I had in my trunk just as he was about to search it and guess what? That dumb fuck never found it. Who can explain it?

  36. Pap Finn

    I kind of thought that conservatives would somehow scrape together the decency to simply shut the fuck up after inflicting Bush on the world, but we aren't talking about decent people, are we?

  37. Abernathy

    No jokes from the teabags? Please! I just heard this hilarious quip about the National Weather Service exaggerating the threat of Sandy to distract attention from the huge scandal of Libya. It's funny because only an idiot would believe such a thing. And they say conservatives have no sense of humor. ROTFL!

  38. MissNancyPriss

    With my entire family on the eastern seaboard, I am just happy that we have Obama as our President and not, say, some lunatic who thinks federal disaster assistance is "immoral".

  39. YasserArraFeck

    Yes Penis-features, the difference is that the left joke about weather as divine retribution, because they know it's….you know….weather. In contrast, the 'Tard blowhards, bloviating about the hard-blowing wind…….when they, themselves, are not blowing hard (rentboy dicks), really believe that inclement weather is the veritable holy flatus of Baby Jesus, sent to kill the gays, put the women in their place, and usher in a new era of white Christian male privileged Amercian exceptionalism….a Fifth (R)eich, as is were.

    OK, I've confused myself here – I clearly need a drink.

  40. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Well, the conservatards could blame this storm on the gheys … but say it ironically. That would be hylarious.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Republicans' sense of humor focuses on watermelons, witch doctors, African lions and Nancy Pelosi's anatomy. Just can't get enough of those.

  41. not that Dewey

    As Hurricane Sandy approaches the Atlantic coast, with several blue states about to bear the brunt, conservatives are not taking the same license. Instead they, like most Americans, are focused on . . . denying assistance to the poor, elderly, starving, war veterans, minorities, and babies?

    Now, that's pretty funny.

  42. Gleem McShineys

    If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
    – Abraham Maslow

    If all you have is a whirlwind of butthurt, everything looks like a tasteless tornado joke.
    –Andrew "De Composer" Breitbart

  43. pdiddycornchips

    You know he was sitting at his desk trying to come up with something that would be funny but try has he might, his feeble brain would not allow it. Finally, it came to him. " Just give up trying to be funny and write what I know best, insane righteous indignation."

  44. MrsConclusion

    When a wingnut writes "rather" and "dull," you know you're dealing with a garden variety Pretentious Anglophile (e.g., Megan McArdle), and, therefore, with an asshole. Carry on Anglophiling!

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