Watch Paul Ryan’s Wife Janna Stop Herself From Tearing Unemployed Guy’s Throat Out With Her Teeth

Here is a rather whiny guy (Millennial, obvs) who simply will not leave Paul Ryan alone, when all Paul Ryan is trying to do is mind his own business and walk in a Memorial Day parade or something and not talk to him about his silly old “can’t get a job” problem! He is WALKING HERE!!! The whiny Millennial is all like “So what should I do, work for a dollar an hour like in China?” which is an excellent point considering His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney was exposed today talking about how China is “better” for business than America, which we will presumably write about when Kris E. Benson wakes up. So Paul Ryan does what Paul Ryan always does, and brushes him off with an offer of candy. (We bet the homeless fellow that Paul Ryan did not punch in the face would have liked some candy, but he got the gift of twice-washed dishes instead.) That is all well and good and exactly what you would expect from Paul Ryan. We are more interested in Paul Ryan’s seething wife, Janna, who seems to be an Egg in the making!

Gritted-teeth smile? Check!
Nodding with inappropriate hostility? Yes!
Can’t believe the NERVE of some constituents not making proper obeisance at the man who is her powerful, manly, scholarly, intellectual heft and heart of the GOP husband? Indeedy, that too, also, too.

Janna Ryan may not set any new bars for wifely dickness, but she’s a comer and one to watch! We expect great thing from her in future.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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    1. hagajim

      I thought you weren't supposed to take candy from horrible people. It might have a razor blade (or jerb cuts) in it.

    1. DemmeFatale

      I love this kid!
      So persitent with his plaintive, no nonsense questions.
      I like how the video captures his sweet cracking voice compared to the Ryan rictus smiles and dickishness.

  1. Indiepalin

    Sorry, but listening to Ryan's wife prostitute herself for her husbands career is like watching Charles Krauthammer handicap the presidential race.

    1. redarmyzombie

      Have you ever had Chinese donuts?

      If you haven't, I should let you know: they aren't actually donuts…

  2. BerkeleyBear

    The whole local pols tossing candy in small town parades schtick is something I saw a lot in Springfield. It was especially "funny" when kids would charge out into the street for a couple of pieces and almost wind up getting crushed by the vintage tractors or marching band.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      That candy is probably all the flavors that everyone avoids, like watermelon, sour apple, and licorice.

  3. freakishlywrong

    Isn't Mrs. Haskell a lobbyist, for fuck's sake? Talk about the "takers", she's a world class succubus.

  4. OkieDokieDog

    I didn't like her as soon as I heard a local newscaster gleefully report and no doubt peeing a bit in their panties from the excitement: She's a OKIE girl, cousin to (worthless blue dog) Dan Boren, with dogs named Boomer & Sooner!!!!
    That plus she's married to Lyin' Ryan.

    1. JustPixelz

      I'll vote for anyone who simply says whatever I want to hear. Like Mitt Romney: "A chicken codon bleu in every pot, a car in every elevator."

  5. Sophist[Kochblocker]

    And, you know, the thing about a Republican political wife… she's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'.

    1. NellCote71

      And they all look like they are some major anti-depressants. Not that I am judging. I would be loaded to if I were a Republican pol's wife.

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    That kid in his fucking stroller looks to be a couple years older than the new-born Obama we saw the other day. Freeloader. Bet he still nurses and her tits look like a pair of dirty gym socks stapled to her chest.

  7. Geminisunmars

    Finally a reason to leave the rank(ness) of the undecided voter: I would rather look upon Dr Jill's sweet punim for another 4 years, than even 4 minutes of this clenched puss.

    1. calliecallie

      They might feel the rainbow then. How about Jujubes? Sounds too ethnic. What about Good N Plenty!

  8. AddHomonym

    This is how you become a successful politician, by being a master at interacting with people. Look how he won that young man over!

  9. Radiotherapy

    Maybe he could get a job as a dishwasher. That doesn't look to hard. Just watch the callouses on your fingers rom the hot water.

  10. Sue4466

    We're just trying to have a little fun here sir. Not sure why you'd think a Labor Day parade is a time to talk about labor. Or why this fine fellow running to be VP should have to provide any specifics on how he'd govern. Romney/Ryan 2012!

  11. kyeshinka

    I'm gonna tell all my trick-or-treaters to get a job, commies! You wanna be like the Soviet Union, which we all know is still a threat?

    1. SorosBot

      Republican women must bleach their hair blond by law, just as they must wear Tammy Faye Baker-esqe clown levels of makeup.

    2. hollyrocks209

      Because then there's absolutely no way that someone will mistake them for having an "ethnic" (shudder) background.

  12. Sue4466

    Not sure which is worse, that Romney & Ryan repeatedly show such contempt for the poor and middle class or that a significant percentage of the poor and middle class will still vote for these fuckers.

    1. lulzmonger

      The latter, by far.

      It'd be pretty hard NOT to eventually feel contempt for folks who let you screw them over time after time … but it takes a very special kind of ugly idiocy to keep bending over again & again for the same tired old scam.

    1. Isyaignert

      Srsly, I'm in the same boat, but I'm still not sure where the "Egg" name for Ayn Rmoney comes from. Is it because she has so many kids and she used up a bunch of eggs to make them?

  13. SorosBot

    I'm surprised Ryan offered the candy; he seems like one of those douches who would give out toothbrushes instead, or possibly Fountainhead paperbacks. And his house could use some toilet paper and eggs.

  14. BlueMonkeh

    Any wench unencumbered by enough of a soul to be joined in eternity to such a man does not deserve of our consideration.

    In other words, bitch married this walking, breathing douche canoe so – what was the point?

  15. Lazy Media

    As much as the Ryans are awful, awful people, I sympathize with anyone who is accosted by the modern phenomenon of douchenozzles asking "questions" on videotape, in hope of a meltdown/punching by the candidate/celebrity.

    Today, we are all James O'Keefe, and we need to be solidly punched in the face for it.

  16. EnnuiThereYet?

    That reminds me, I need to go buy some candy for the 47% that will be ringing my doorbell this Wednesday.

    1. Tommy1733

      She would be a comer if she had a real man to sleep with, or one of those lesbians I have heard so much about.

  17. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Ryan had nothing to say because his plan is to have this guy take the 1$ an hour job and STFU about it. And Janna appears to have lockjaw. HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!

  18. carlgt1

    why would Repugs participate in a Labor Day parade, when it's obvious they want what this guy said – US workers to "compete" with no-benefit, no-rights workers in China.

  19. Callyson

    Isn't "candy" a euphemism for drugs? Because if that fucker got into the White House, I know I'd need some…

  20. maggiejoan

    Janna reminds me of an angry version of that reverend's wife in True Blood. Only not as hot. And hates everyone.

  21. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This would be a lot more effective if that guy did not sound like he was about to cry. Just take your fucking candy, crybaby.

  22. zumpie

    Snark off: Early on Janna Ryan was touted as a "secret weapon" for the R&R campaign because we wiiiiiiimmmmmmiiiiiinnnn!!!! would find her "down to earth and relatable". Yet the only "headline" she grabbed was also early on and consisted of her campaigning in a very fugly clearance dress from Kohl's (with Egg looking fabulously disgusted at being placed near such a commoner). After that, nationally all she did was introduce her husband by video at the RNC, stand behind him (fully and rudely blocked actually) on the tarmac the next day and appear quite gracious and friendly to OHJB after he made her husband his complete and permanent bitch.

    Frankly, I couldn't understand why they didn't use her more, since she SEEMED nicer than Marie-Ann. Now we know, damage control before the fact. One cheap, ugly dress snagged by a staffer does not a nice, approachable lady make.

    1. BoroPrimorac

      "and appear quite gracious and friendly to OHJB after he made her husband his complete and permanent bitch."

      What a fucking night that was.

      1. zumpie

        Though you know, OHJB only won cause he was drunk/senile/gaffe prone, etc….cause otherwise Eddie would've totally kicked his old man ass!

  23. imissopus

    I am totally entertained by Paul Ryan wearing a Packers shirt, as the Packers are the only publicly-owned franchise in major league sports (socializmz!) and of course employ players who all belong to a union. Of course I'm sure that has been pointed out to him.

  24. Come here a minute

    I'll watch the video when Paul Ryan’s wife Janna doesn't stop herself from tearing a guy’s throat out with her teeth.

  25. bfddad

    Did Ryan say, "Would you like a pack your bags schedule?" This is harder than trying to figure out a Beatles record played backwards.

  26. mavenmaven

    The nerve! Doesn't he know that only right wing Real American patriots are allowed to hassle politicians on video?

  27. Not_Mother

    "A dollar an hour? Why YES, as you can see my wife so vigorously nodding her approval of. Son, a dollar an hour is $20 a day! That's $140 a week! Who says my numbers don't add up?"

  28. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I imagine she wears that forced smile when Paul puts his Ayn Rand into her Fountainhead.

  29. fuflans

    ok, i have to say, i love uncomfortable shit like this.

    especially when it happens – as it usually does – to the good people of the GOP.

  30. ChapterUndVerse

    Another photo opp ruined by reality, like "Mission Accomplished," "My Pet Goat," and that washing the dishes like a poorz thing. How can a picture be worth a thousand words if they aren't all lying for Ryan?

  31. ttommyunger

    That situation could have been turned into a positive Vid-0p by an intuitive, caring candidate. Lucky for us they only have Ryan and Romney.

  32. greencar

    Ryan is not elected yet! What an idiot. OBAMA is the problem, Why is he complaining, whining to Ryan? Another rediculous article by this incompetent Rebecca shoenkopf!

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