IMPORTANT WONKETTE ANNOUNCEMENTS  11:00 am October 29, 2012

Hobos, Come Here To Sell Your Sad Cans Of Hobo Beans, Find Everlasting Love

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Eat em up yumWhat’s this, what’s this? Are we starting up Wonkette Classifieds? Indeed we are, Poors, and at just the right hobo price: FREE. You could sell a boat! Or barter some moon rocks! Or pen a plaintive missive seeking love from likeminded jerk-offs! But why are we doing this when it will not make us any muneez? That is an excellent question that we will figure out later! Mostly because we love you, idiots, whatever, we guess.

You’ll want to make a fake Gmail address or something, as these will be very PRIMITIVE and will not come with mailboxes. Your Editrix will approve them before they post, so don’t try to sell your children into sex slavery please. This is not the Village Voice. Also, your Editrix has a very low tolerance for shitty scams, so, you know, don’t do that.

By the way, since we’ve got you here, have you been putting in your hours in Wonkville, the Wonkette story mines? Look, it’s right over there — > . Have you signed up for our newsletter? It’s right over there too! Have you been clicking on that tiny Amazon logo at the bottom of the Amazon box? If you are going to shop at Amazon and put a mom and pop store out of business, shouldn’t you divert a chunk of Amazon’s filthy lucre to a mom (no pop) website? YES YOU SHOULD.

Also too to watch for, coming soon: a Wonkette store, filled with fabulous items. Oh, what a glorious day it shall be!

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 194 comments }

Barbara_ October 29, 2012 at 11:01 am

Will the Wonkette store have emergency contraception for sale?

Mittens Howell, III October 29, 2012 at 11:10 am

Plan W.

Barbara_ October 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

They look like upside down M&M's. What the hell…..?

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:19 am

Whatever the shape, I bet the edges are razor sharp for "her protection".

Abernathy October 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

Just consider them God's "pre-gifts."

nounverb911 October 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

A Todd Akin fright mask?

Terry October 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

No, but you can buy plastic sheeting, Wesson oil, and sex toys in bulk.

Barbara_ October 29, 2012 at 11:19 am

Terry, now I know what it feels like to "owe my soul to the company store." Rebecca is going to be super rich!

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

That reminds me, does it have sound proof floorboards? I need to replace a few that were scratched from the underside.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:47 am

How much for an abortion?

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 11:52 am

Don't you get those for free at the abortionplex anyway?

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Silly, I don't want to get one, I just want to buy one and save it for later.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Oh, you want Abortion Futures. Abortionplex.com has the latest bid/ask numbers.

redarmyzombie October 29, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Eh, they're a dollar, but close enough anyways.

redarmyzombie October 29, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Do we know if it carries its own line of liquor?

mrpuma2u October 29, 2012 at 11:03 am

Finally someplace someone might buy all those 8 track tapes. I think "John Denver's greatest hits" is the crown jewel in the collection of gems.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 11:06 am

I've got quite a collection of awesome VCR tapes.

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

Any that don't have "XXX" in the title?

Terry October 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

Baldar's selling tapes of classic episodes of Jeopardy

Beowoof October 29, 2012 at 11:36 am

Vin Diesel !!libel!!

Lot_49 October 29, 2012 at 11:38 am

What? No Betamax or Super8?

HarryButtle October 29, 2012 at 11:41 am

Rocky mountain hhiiiiiiii

CHA-CHUNK

iiiiiigh, Colorado

The glory of 8-track technology…

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:51 am

I'm sticking a #2 pencil in my ears as we speak. Thanks a lot.

HarryButtle October 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Sorry. My college roomie was also musically obsessive. A very mild-mannered neighbor once threatened him with physical violence (and I'm pretty sure he meant it) after being subjected to a whole day of Jim Morrison crooning People are Strange at maximum volume (and this was the olden days of records before digital repeat, so he'd have to sit at the turntable, manually lifting and replacing the needle every time the song ended).

weejee October 29, 2012 at 11:04 am

Are splurge gunz for whipped cream assassins okay? Or must everything be vegan, and only spud gunz?

iTuna October 29, 2012 at 11:04 am

Hey east coast Wonketteers, be careful out there.

Barbara_ October 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

It's going to be okay, iTuna. Todd Akin knows that Mother Nature "has ways of shutting this thing down."

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 11:18 am

The human race?

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

The ultimate in self protection… maybe she should only protect herself from industrialized nations?

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:49 am

All you human viruses are belong to…?

HarryButtle October 29, 2012 at 11:44 am

Phil Esterhaus libel!

starfanglednut October 29, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Awwww, thanks.

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 11:04 am

Love for sale,
Appetizing young love for sale,
Love that's fresh and still unspoiled,
Love that's only slightly soiled,
Love for sale…

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:50 am

Do you accept bitchcoins?

Gratuitous World October 29, 2012 at 11:05 am

Editrix just wants to see boys' Linuses.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:30 am

I'll sell her that privilege. $2.45.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:51 am

Many upfists in your general direction.

M. Bouffant October 29, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Linuxes? What?

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 11:06 am

So, what's the code word for when I want to sell some puff?

Loch_Nessosaur October 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

Puff.

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

Ffup.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:30 am

"Terrorism".

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:51 am

Dragon.

Gratuitous World October 29, 2012 at 11:58 am

9/11

Gleem McShineys October 29, 2012 at 3:05 pm

"Book for sale: Charlie the Choom Choom"

Or maybe "Do It Yourself Lung Exercise Kit"

AlterNewt October 29, 2012 at 11:06 am

Minor surgery and home repair. Totally legit.

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:29 am

Angina's List

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:52 am

Win a free vacation to the beautiful Isles of Langerhans.

starfanglednut October 29, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Is that the place with the insulin factory?

mrpuma2u October 29, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Can you do some EST on my crazy little puppy mill refugee lapdog that wants to bite everybody?

AlterNewt October 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

No job too big or small.

DerrickWildcat October 29, 2012 at 11:06 am

weird

EatsBabyDingos October 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

So, nothing crazy like $5,000,000 for Bammerz grades and bin Laden Daytimer..

fuflans October 29, 2012 at 4:56 pm

but you can TOTALLY sell bamz' senate seat.

that's fuckin golden.

ProgressiveInga October 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

"Your Editrix will approve them before they post, so don’t try to sell your children into sex slavery please."
So, buttsecks or no buttsecks? This is unclear to me at this point…

YouFail4eva October 29, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I think it's kinda buttsechs. Halfway in, halfway out.

mrpuma2u October 29, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Isn't that working for tips only?

noodlesalad October 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

Staying at home from work today, no choice but to get wrapped up in the hurricane hype. Good news is I've decided to re-name my fat cat who hates on the other animals in my house and constantly steals their food "Governor Christie."

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:11 am

I think that paying attention to the weather warnings is prudent. But don't you live in Denver?

Mittens Howell, III October 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

Give Governor Christie an ice cream and post pics.

noodlesalad October 29, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I tried to do this, but he just started yowling at the dogs and totally screwed the photo op.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 11:46 am

You should rename one of the other cats "Meatloaf."

bobbert October 29, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Arguably, all cats should be named "Meatloaf". After the dish, not the "singer".

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

How about a want ad for honesty in gummint? To paraphrase the great Fred Allen: "You could take all the honesty in Washington, put it in a flea's navel, and still have room left over for three caraway seeds and a lobbyist's heart."

Goonemeritus October 29, 2012 at 11:07 am

Finally a demographic tailor made to appreciate my complete John Anderson for President Memorabilia collection.

EatsBabyDingos October 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

I keep waiting for him to rejoin Yes. Oh. Wait.

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

John Anderson was quite a talent on the guitar and vocals. I don't know which I like more, Close to the Edge or Fragile.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 11:18 am

Steve Howe libel!!

starfanglednut October 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm

The Yes Album libel!

larrykat October 29, 2012 at 12:21 pm

He was my first presidential vote. Always a soft spot in my heart for that coot.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Mine too…. Those were the days.

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

John Denver. Mediocre song writer. Somewhat worse pilot.

ProgressiveInga October 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

Too soon!
(not really)

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

Apparently you didn't have to listen to Rocky Mountain High five thousand times in college…

Disassembly October 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

"How did we meet? You see, kids, your mother and I were both commenters on a web log where mean people said mean things about other mean people."

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

"Now, Lil Snark, eat your brocolli or you will not get any dessert".

Lascauxcaveman October 29, 2012 at 11:37 am

We're not mean. We're just pissed off. Always.

PugglesRule October 29, 2012 at 2:41 pm

We veer from snark (like me) to sarcasm (well, too many of us to mention). But we are not mean. We are merely MAD AS HELL AND NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE. Ahem.

Isyaignert October 29, 2012 at 6:17 pm

And we're only pissed off because we're paying attention.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 12:10 pm

How did you get a hold of SorosBot and mine's wedding vows?

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Is Rebecca presiding over the nuptials? I heard in California, all you need is a domain registration to perform weddings.

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 12:15 pm

We've already had the rehearsal with Rebecca, so we are ready! http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/re

Disassembly October 29, 2012 at 12:29 pm

But then who would livebloog it?

SorosBot October 29, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I think we'll need to print out the comments from that Santorum thread where we decided to start dating.

mrpuma2u October 29, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Certainly someone in this motley crew is a mail order minister.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I majored in Motley in college, but in my junior year I switched to Mopery.

MosesInvests October 29, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Actually, I am really a clergy-type person. MT and SB, fly me to the Bay Area and I'll perform your wedding!

Mittens Howell, III October 29, 2012 at 11:08 am

For Sale:

My Virginity.

Slightly used.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:31 am

I call shenanigans on this post.

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

I recently parked my Virginity so that I could let the mileage appear reduced when I decided to sell it.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Just put your virginity up on blocks and run it in reverse.

Mittens Howell, III October 29, 2012 at 11:09 am

Finally, somewhere I can sell my Breitbart memorabilia.

Geminisunmars October 29, 2012 at 11:52 am

For sale: One odoriferous shriveled heart.

Mittens Howell, III October 29, 2012 at 12:43 pm

wrapped in bacon.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 11:10 am

O/T Hurricane Post:

Yeah OK Sandy. Welcome to New York. Have fun. Flood all you want. While you're out doing that, we're gonna go round and burgle your house, jack your car, steal all of your credit card info, sign you up for a lifetime NAMBLA membership, and put your s**t up for sale on eBay. Fu** you fu**ing hurricanes, you just don't learn. NEW YORK IS WHERE STORMS COME TO DIE.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:59 am

Jus' like empires in Afghanistan.

Dr_Zoidberg October 29, 2012 at 11:10 am

Oh no you don't!! After Hurricane Sandy wipes out the East Coast, my supply of Hobo Beans will be very popular with the handful of survivors.

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:34 am

That's perfect. I hope you make them fight for a can. Film it.

kittensdontlie October 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Maple flavored jelly beans, sound more like an instrument of torture rather than a survival food.

Dr_Zoidberg October 29, 2012 at 11:11 am

I would like to sell my soul, please.

Loch_Nessosaur October 29, 2012 at 11:19 am

Koch Bros already own it.

HistoriCat October 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

Why go through the classifieds when you can simply talk to Biel_ze_bubba himself via comments? You won't get a better deal on your soul anywhere else!

Abernathy October 29, 2012 at 11:25 am

Will you take a sandwich for that?

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Have you considered a reverse mortgage on the remainder of your life?

deanbooth October 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

Can we use our pee to buy things in the Wonkette store? Piat money — the new gold standard!!

Lot_49 October 29, 2012 at 11:40 am

The post-Sandy New Economy emerges! How many upfists per p? Hope there won't be any currency manipulation.

redarmyzombie October 29, 2012 at 7:44 pm

what about Ameros and bitcoins?

SigDeFlyinMonky October 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

Impeccable timing! I've got 15 pallets of Amway and Mary Kay to unload.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

Awesome! I'm taking my shirtless, bathroom mirror pic right now…

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

What's so special about a picture of a bathroom mirror with no shirt on it?

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 11:37 am

Ur doin it rong.

Lot_49 October 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

Check out the globes on this one.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:53 am

Reminds me of the Triple-Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six.

MosesInvests October 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Eccentrica Galumbits FTW!

HistoriCat October 29, 2012 at 11:47 am

Junk shots or gtfo.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 11:53 am

Why sure, I'd be delighted to oblige. I had a little fedora made for it, you'll love it.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 12:05 pm

No photos of Drudge, please.

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 12:26 pm

win.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Pia Fedora?

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

I'm seeking other individuals to declare a Provisional Government should society collapse. Who else wants me to be Supreme Ruler?

Yellerdawg October 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

Pick me! Pick me! A chicken for every pot! Pot for all the chickens! Hell, pot for everybody!

BlueStateLibel October 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

I see you more as my trusted adviser, with myself as sort of a Henry VIII monarch with his especially bad temper, but sounds good.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

We can sort it all out later. (Nods at assassin)

HistoriCat October 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

Will your toadies get cushy jobs and have opportunities for graft?

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 11:37 am

Yes! You see, I have been watching all the instructional shows, like this "Revolution" show where the power has gone out, that "Carter from ER vs. The Aliens" show that's only on during the summer on TNT, and that one where the nuclear sub captain takes over a tropical island. I have been stockpiling plot twists and reveals in case of emergency.

HistoriCat October 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

Very good sir – excellent planning!

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 11:50 am

I always thought Frank Pembleton was wrapped a little too tight to be given the keys to a ballistic missile submarine.

Chet Kincaid_ October 29, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Haha! It does seem more like something an iconoclast like Munch would pull.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 29, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse. Will that help? It mostly consists of taking over and locking down a local brewery.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I wanna drive the Nautilus.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Using the "Left Behind" series as a reference?

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:25 am

Will you be needing any pissants?

MissTaken October 29, 2012 at 12:12 pm

No, but he will need a Piss Boy.

Biff October 29, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Wait for the shake!

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 11:30 am

Do I get to be Falstaff?

Lot_49 October 29, 2012 at 11:52 am

In your Supreme Ruler gig, it would be helpful if you enjoyed being advised by a cabinet of wise-asses who have no constructive suggestions on how to to rule, but lots of hilarious commentary on the way you do it.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 12:03 pm

If you're the Pry Mincer, I wanna be the Shadder Mincer.

memzilla October 29, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Depends. Who's gonna be the Kwisatz Haderach?

MosesInvests October 29, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Can I be Minister for Religious Genocide?

docterry6973 October 29, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Can I be a Colonel? They seem to do well in these kinds of governments.

redarmyzombie October 29, 2012 at 7:47 pm

I'm sorry Chet, I'm afraid I've already been declared His Divine Imperial Majesty of the East Pacific Mandate. However, I'm sure I could find you an Interior Minister post or something of the like…

cassamandra October 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

What did you do with the fifty bucks I sent you? I hope it starts with medical and ends with uana.

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

*tries to picture a medical iguana…maybe in a little nurse's uniform*

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 11:39 am

Ever had one of those beasts whip you with it's tail? I'm thinking a little SS uniform is more apropos.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Ze nacht of ze iguanas.

Abernathy October 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

Dear Daily Caller: I voluntarily looked at this web site and was offered something for free. Please expose their SEIU communism in an eight-part series.
Thank you.
BowTieFapper

gullywompr October 29, 2012 at 11:21 am

BTW, since I clicked on the link from the story the other week, Amazon is still urging me to buy Cabbage Patch dolls. Erp…

Chow Yun Flat October 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

Excellent. I have a couple of shrink wrapped pallets of "Detroit Tigers, 2012 World Series Champions" gear.

BlueStateLibel October 29, 2012 at 11:22 am

At last my dream of selling eye-doctor services without the services of a doctor comes true!

MosesInvests October 29, 2012 at 11:34 am

Rand, is that you?

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:36 am

Send $9.95 to Rand Paul for your certificate.

Buzz Feedback October 29, 2012 at 11:23 am

In a few hours I'll have some waterfront property at 34th and Madison for sale.

DahBoner October 29, 2012 at 11:50 am

It's almost like you live on an island…

kyeshinka October 29, 2012 at 11:26 am

In Nevada you can barter a chicken for three of these.

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:38 am

And you'll get change back. Like an egg salad samwich or something.

kittensdontlie October 29, 2012 at 11:26 am

Mom and pop will survive just fine on the cat and dog food bought from Amazon. 'Killing two ol' birds with one stone' has double the entendre here.

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 29, 2012 at 11:27 am

Where's my beans?

(also, stay safe Wonkette and anyone east of I-95… where the real news happens)

Lot_49 October 29, 2012 at 11:42 am

And west of "the 5" as we call it "out" here.

BadKitty904 October 29, 2012 at 11:28 am

I have a piece of toast with Reagan's image on it. Can I sell that here?

BaldarTFlagass October 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

You'd probably do a lot better over at Redstate classifieds with that.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

Breakfast time.

thatsitfortheother1 October 29, 2012 at 11:39 am

It is probably less "toast" than he was during his last term.

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:33 am

I'll trade anything I own for guns.

Blueb4sinrise October 29, 2012 at 11:38 am

I tried to sign up for newsletter but teh intertubes wouldn't let me. I suspect racist against middle-aged white males.

M. Bouffant October 29, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I signed up. A wk. late & a dollar short, really.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 11:42 am

I have Mitt Romney's last shred of integrity for sale. What am I bid?

Tommy1733 October 29, 2012 at 11:46 am

You're gonna have to post pics of that, because I heard he hasn't still got any shreds of that integrity. And what he did have he was sharing with Paul Ryan.

LibertyLover October 29, 2012 at 2:12 pm
eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:46 am

I have some leftover pizza.

eggsacklywright October 29, 2012 at 11:46 am

When is Wonket TV channel?

DahBoner October 29, 2012 at 11:48 am

mom (no Pop) website

As long as you're stocked up on the Saranwrap, I guess it's OK…

Jus_Wonderin October 29, 2012 at 11:56 am

I bet I can sell raffle tickets for a bench seats in my new bunker? BTW: The interior is painted a lovely shade of Terror Level Green.

Redgyal October 29, 2012 at 11:59 am

I'm more excited than I was when Johnny Depp was on 21 Jump Street.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 29, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Erryday commiegirl is hustlin' monetizin'. Hustlin monetizin'.

Redgyal October 29, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Just a suggestion for the next survey I would like to see the Wonkette ask " On a rainy day, do you let you dog snuggle with you on your favorite blanket?" I think that would get some good feedback for you.

Biff October 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm

On, or under the blanket?
Which is a dumb question, since Wonketeers all use Slankets®.

Redgyal October 29, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Biff, does it matter? Nice avatar by the way. In a past life I used to be a big Snoopy fan too.

Biff October 29, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Of course it matters, for the kink factor! Joe Cool, in honor of our VP's debate performance…

Redgyal October 29, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Wrong answer. You were supposed to point out that a warm dog is the only form of heat you will have as a hobo in Romerica.

BlueStateLibel October 29, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Anyone have a raft or an ark they're thinking of selling?

HateMachine October 29, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I'm not sure which angle to go with for my personal.

This? http://i.imgur.com/V7BXv.jpg
or this? http://i.imgur.com/QmxCy.gif

UW8316154 October 29, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Hurricane Special: a week at my cozy Pacific Northwest bunker in the north Cascades! Includes a generator, clean well water, safe septic and my special home-cookin'. Must like dogs and horses. No TV but I can serve up reliable interweb service. What more do you need?

emmelemm October 29, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I'm sold.

UW8316154 October 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I'll swing by the store for some more gin…

emmelemm October 29, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Oooh, and limes! We don't want to get scurvy.

oenspiek October 29, 2012 at 12:45 pm

As long as we get one-stop shopping to serve our guns 'n' abortions needs, (ok, and bibbles for them as likes 'em,) The Wonkette Store will be a certain winner!

(Edited) How could I leave out TruckNutz? I iz bad!

Close_Read October 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm

This is such good news. The people who were responding to my CraigsList ads were just so normal.

BenGleck October 29, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Is the author like totally lost it, you know, because Style?

chascates October 29, 2012 at 1:07 pm

And please: no broken CRTs or soiled mattresses!

lulzmonger October 29, 2012 at 1:22 pm

99 Pee Points!
Five bucks per point OBO!
Call the number flashing on your screen RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

Hurry & scarf some up while you can – these little motherfuckers are selling like hotcakes!

editor October 29, 2012 at 1:57 pm

ooh, sign me up for everlasting love, please!

PugglesRule October 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Where can I buy some Hobo ™ beans? I'm sure my gay Republican teenage son would love them, because HOBOS! (He doesn't hate the poors, and he has always been fascinated with hobos. But somehow he becames a Republican. Probably a recessive gene that went splodey.)

M. Bouffant October 29, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Editrix, if you're improving the site, why don't you get rid of that silly-looking woman w/ the glasses who still appears on the newsletter sign-up page? And really, is it still the "D.C. Gossip?"

ttommyunger October 29, 2012 at 10:21 pm

How crass! I'm just here for the luvz, dontchaknow.

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