AMERCIA BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHTS  1:21 pm October 27, 2012

Mitt Romney Finds Man Who Can Sing ‘America The Beautiful’ Worse Than He Can

by Rebecca Schoenkopf


And (no surprise), it’s alleged vote frauder Meat Loaf! Let us relive the glory days of Ol’ Miffed Romney’s beauteous version for Olds, after the jump.

Well, that was terrible. You’re welcome.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 245 comments }

boobookitteh October 27, 2012 at 1:26 pm

It's sad to think that no one would even think about voting for this guy if he were on American Idol. He's tone deaf to compassion and thoughtfulness as he is music.

Terry October 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm

True, but he was awesome in Rocky Horror Picture Show. Meatloaf is getting old.

DemmeFatale October 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Yeah, he used to be an awesome tenor.

Terry October 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Oddly enough, Meatloaf and Pavarotti together: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6sz11_meat-loaf

DemmeFatale October 27, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Wow!Who knew?I love how it was just old hat for a pro like Pav.(Mr. Loaf probably had to wear a diaper.)

boskolives October 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Once upon a time, the N.Y. Times referred to him as "Mr. Loaf".

jgalleg4 October 27, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Well, people would vote for him in a William Hung kinda way.

Thunderclees October 29, 2012 at 4:45 pm

It's sad to think that a man who owes his career to musical theater is endorsing Mittens.

deanbooth October 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"God sheds his grace on thee…" Rape babies?

DustyBowlBlues October 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Hell, no. God only sheds grace on a fertilized egg to zygote to fetus. Once it's an actual baby? Bootstraps, kid. And as to your mother: tell that bitch that if she doesn't want another rape baby, she shouldn't wear slutty clothes.

Mumbletypeg October 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I think we can let Howard Dean off the hook now, too.

NellCote71 October 27, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I never understood the overreaction on that one.

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Especially since if one of the other party had yelled, it would have been seen as evidence that they were a kickass guy who stands up to terra, or some such shit.

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Especially since it was later found that the media exaggerated the sound-level of the scream.

weejee October 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Think Meat Loaf needs to go back in the oven.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Half-baked libel!

Lascauxcaveman October 27, 2012 at 1:34 pm

He was always kind of a 'special' talent.

kittensdontlie October 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Make sure the pilot light is lit. The gas was not good for him.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Paradise by the Pilot Light?

a_pink_poodle October 27, 2012 at 6:06 pm

That's when rock 'n roll libel comes through!

Radiotherapy October 27, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Wait, Meat Loaf is a Jew?

valgal2342 October 28, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Let's do the Time Warp again!

BadKitty904 October 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm

OK. Now, let's see Rmoney do a cover of "Hot Patootie"…

weejee October 27, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Mmmmm. Then afterwards what's for dinner?

Dr_Zoidberg October 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm

That's a rather tender subject. Another slice, anyone?

Barbara_ October 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Mitt told Meatloaf that he was a huge fan of his "Bat Out of Heck" album.

Freewayblogger October 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Stick a fork in it.

MaxUdargo October 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm

See what happens when Dr. Frank N Furter isn't around with his ice ax?

under_score October 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm

What's for dinner??

stncmchnc October 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Well babies, don't you panic.

DustyBowlBlues October 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Or his chain saw.

doloras October 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm

A greaser from the freezer! A bat out of hell!

SheriffRoscoe October 27, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Mitt Romney just cold bringing the star power now, y'all.

predilectrix October 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Haydn and Prince Esterhazy. Mozart and Emperor Joseph II. Thus arise sweet airs when a musical prodigy and an enlightened despot collide.

fuflans October 27, 2012 at 2:51 pm

sir elton and princess di.

CthuNHu October 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Sir Elton and Rush.

M. Bouffant October 27, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Oh fuck no. Not Rush & Sir Elton.
[stops, thinks]
Oh you mean the bloated gasbag, not the crummy Canadian musical aggregation. That's OK, then.

Barrelhse October 27, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Springsteen and Obama.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Leonard Bernstein and Jacqueline Kennedy

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Reagan and Mellencamp? Oh, wait.

BarackMyWorld October 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Remember when Frank N. Furter killed him with an axe at the end of his song in "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"? Good times.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Romney needed ML to sing for him since he's a little horse.

calliecallie October 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Refalca Libel!

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:03 pm

My Little Pony libel.

Loch_Nessosaur October 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Vote for Mittz – But I won't do that.

ProgressiveInga October 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Hot patootie, bless my soul, he sucks!

Redgyal October 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm

What exactly do these people think is the benefit of supporting romney?

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Getting a white back in the White House?

eggsacklywright October 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Perzackly. They're not voting for Mittz, they're voting to oust O.

BadKitty904 October 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Literally, *anyone* (as their choice of Rmoney makes clear) before the "blah"…

Redgyal October 27, 2012 at 2:24 pm

But didn't George Clinton tell us to turn the White House black? And to make this one nation under a groove???

shelwood46 October 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm

According to Meat Loaf, noted political expert, you must choose Mitt because he knows, unlike that dummy Obama, that the Cold War isn't over, dangnumbit. Not over! Also, Meat Loaf is still in Billboard Top Ten. And he's going to show up to vote on the wrong… year.

Dr_Zoidberg October 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I lived through the Cold War. I knew the Cold War. This, sir, is no Cold War.

BoroPrimorac October 27, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Because they can't stand the thought of a black dude having more power than they do.

Redgyal October 27, 2012 at 6:15 pm

What if he isn't a black dude but instead is a cool cat, daddy-o?

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Yeah, as if "cool" impresses them. They put up Daddy Bush, Shrub, Bob Dole and John McCain, for goodness sake.

Redgyal October 28, 2012 at 8:40 am

Uh, that was supposed to be a joke about the use of the ever so trendy term "dude" to refer to a grown man. Sorry, snark fail.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:10 pm

They're very, very rich and I'd bet my life they cheat on their taxes to the fullest extent of their accountants' abilities. Meatloaf, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Trace Adkins, Johnny Van Zandt probably also have accounts in the Cayman Islands.

SheriffRoscoe October 27, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I can't look at Meatloaf anymore without thinking "bitch tits."

SexySmurf October 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm

That's also what I think when I look at Mitt.

PennyDreadful October 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm

His name was Robert Paulsen.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Now more than ever.

You'd think these old hasbeens would just be content to leave their careers be, and not get rid of half of their remaining fans by going full retard, but what do I know.

swordfis October 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Are you sure he was singing? It looks and sounds like a cerebral accident.

The meat in Meat Loaf is obviously pork, since he was squealing like a castrated pig.

NellCote71 October 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I remember the very first time I saw Meatloaf on TV before I knew who he was. I just thought it was awfully nice of those TV people to give the, er, mentally challenged an opportunity.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Paralyzed by the dashboard lights?

I have been dying to work that into a pun somehow, because for the life of me I can't think of any other meatloaf hits…

bobbert October 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Well, there is Bat out of Heck.

viennawoods13 October 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Two out of three ain't bad.

SoBeach October 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Holy mother of God. Mittens looks like he's about to shove his fist down Meatloaf's throat and rip out his larynx. Too bad he didn't. It would have meant a ten point bump in the polls.

NellCote71 October 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Not that I would have voted for but I sure would respect him more.

coolhandnuke October 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Well I can see a parasite by the dashboard lights.

UW8316154 October 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Who?

gurukalehuru October 28, 2012 at 2:16 am

Who? Who? Meatloaf, that's fucking who. O.K., he has fallen, he has gotten old, he sucks now, but nobody in the entire history of Rock and Roll and all other music combined has ever rocked harder than Meatloaf rocked in his prime.

This is tragedy, not comedy.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Here's your antidote, bitches: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6uHR90Sq6k

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Every time I see this, I just go "Aww!", and want to hug Obama.
What a little sweetheart he is.

fuflans October 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm

hoo boy i needed that.

i am making calls to iowa and (even though i'm using my best sweet blond girl voice when praising bamz), farmer's keep hanging up on me.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 3:26 pm

You are so awesome!

Those farmers must be a little tired of political calls, but if you 'get through' to even one or two voters, that may have a ripple effect.

Dr_Zoidberg October 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Oh my god I just got pregnant!

Callyson October 27, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Jesus Christ, I made the mistake of listening to that and now my dogs won't stop barking. I better get them a treat to make up for this crap…

BadKitty904 October 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Awww…

Loch_Nessosaur October 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm

When a dog barks at meatloaf you know it's bad.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Was it the singing or all the dog whistles?

Callyson October 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I don't know–they aren't talking to me right now, despite getting a treat. Can't say I blame them. Maybe if I get that video of Obama singing “Let's Stay Together” they'll forgive me, BBL…

valgal2342 October 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Somebody say treats???????

mbobier October 27, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"I'm…. so not in love with you," Mittens.

coolhandnuke October 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I thought Meatloaf was the intellectual property of Chris Christie.

BadKitty904 October 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Hmmm. Now, that you mention it, I've never seen the two of them in the same room, at the same time…

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

What room would be large enough?

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

They were best buds until it got down to the last donut in the box…

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I did, too, as I'm pretty sure it's his stripper name…

eggsacklywright October 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Jesus, what a cretin-fest.

BadKitty904 October 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Cretin-palooza?

CrunchyKnee October 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm

There's no stopping the cretins from hopping.

rocktonsam October 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

which America is he singing about?

eggsacklywright October 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm

The one where the militarized police are here to help and protect you.

BadKitty904 October 27, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Circa 1957.

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Why, "Real" America, of course. Either that, or Amercia.

UW8316154 October 27, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Kid Rock, Dave Mustaine, Ted Nugent, Meatloaf….I sense a pattern developing….

DCBloom October 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I am beginning to think that bad taste in music = bad politics…

HarryButtle October 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

But the conservatards get all butt-hurt when Lena Dunham makes a cute little double entendre about voting for the first time, right?

JustPixelz October 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Because Ms Dunham was alluding to a young woman making a choice about her sex life. Repubicans HATE HATE HATE that women have sex without prior government authorization.

NellCote71 October 27, 2012 at 2:43 pm

And Obamz has James Taylor in New Hampshire today.

CthuNHu October 27, 2012 at 4:39 pm

He was great. Played about seven songs, all the ones you'd expect, "Fire and Rain," Gone to Carolina, You've Got a Friend, Shower the People, etc., etc. Wife with him, singing on most songs (and apparently kids, pre-teenish, non-singing). Then Bamz! Who thoroughly kicked ass before a crowd of 8500 far-more-diverse-than-you'd-expect-in-NH-from-all-the-Romney-crowd-pics people on a beautiful 70-ish sunny fall New Hampshire day, 48 hours before we get buried beneath 36 inches of rain and snow and last-minute SuperPAC hate and hope flyers.

Yeah, life is good. But Winter Is Coming.

SpiderCrab October 27, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Embittered no-talent old-fart rockers trying to be relevant?

Chet Kincaid_ October 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm

…sings what?

SexySmurf October 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Mitt Romney will do anything for votes…but he won't do that.

I'm kidding; there's nothing Mittens won't do for votes.

DemmeFatale October 27, 2012 at 3:27 pm

It's fun to watch him squirm, isn't it?

BoroPrimorac October 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Remember when the baggers were all cock sure that they'd beat Barry solely on the issues, because silent majority and they're ideas are exactly what the founding fathers would've come up with?

soeoho October 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Nice thing about meatloaf is it can be shaped into most any form. Even the shape of a turkey.

SoBeach October 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

After this it's safe to say Mitt has the falling down drunk has-been vote sewn up.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Luckily, they won't show up to vote until after Thanksgiving.

shelwood46 October 27, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I'm pretty sure the only time people hear Meatloaf songs these days are when drunk guys put it in the jukebox, usually by mistake.

Arkoday October 28, 2012 at 7:58 am

Nope, I ain't votin' fer'im.

sbj1964 October 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

America the Beutiful is not Mittens song,but you should hear him belt out Elton Johns 'The bitch is back'.Brought a tear to me eye.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Isn't it time for Romney to have his SC surrogate, Nikki Haley campaigning with him around the country?

He can tell folks she'll be his Cybersecurity advisor… http://www.thestate.com/2012/10/26/2496396/south-

coolhandnuke October 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm

My nine-year-old son loves to play the Mitt Romney "Where's Waldo" game. Every time Mitt draws a crowd, my boy tries to find the one non-whitey in the crowd.
This one has him stumped.

RomneysLogCabin October 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

What's the matter Mitt? Do the people you represent make you uncomfortable?

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

That's been obvious since Day One of his campaign, hasn't it?

RomneysLogCabin October 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Mitt's coy contempt for ordinary white Americans is appalling–I'd hate to see what he would have in store for minorities as the President.

HarryButtle October 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Well now I'm prayin' for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I've got to spend another minute with Mitt
I don't think that I can really survive

weejee October 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

So less see, Willard is Brad, Egg is Janet, Meat Loaf is obvs Eddie, but who is Dr. Frank-N-Furter, the sweet tranzzzvestite?

HarryButtle October 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Ann Coulter, natch. (though she looks more like Riff Raff)

HarryButtle October 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm

And hunky Paul Ryan is Rocky! Krauthammer gets to be Dr Scott by default, with Pegs Noonington and KJ Lopez as Magenta and Columbia.

OK, even I can't stomach that last part.

DCBloom October 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Who's Riff Raff?

HarryButtle October 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Oh, yea. When I mentioned him with Coulter, I forgot to cast him. Doocy?

DemmeFatale October 27, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Riff Raff only wrote the thing!
Um…yes, I have seen it a few times.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Lindsey Graham?

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"Do you know this earthling… er-uh, person?"
That's Mitt's line if I ever heard it.

doloras October 27, 2012 at 4:04 pm

"We are about to beam the White House back to the planet of Kobol in the galaxy of Whitepeopleonly."

redarmyzombie October 27, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Oh no, we are SO taking it over to Planet Transsexual!

Schmannnity October 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm

In light of his flip flops and the lack of accountability for them, Mitt should sing Nessun Dorma.

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:49 pm

I think his song is actually "Non, je ne regrette rien".

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Easier to now think of Meatloaf as SPAM.

Doktor Zoom October 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Wait, so Mr. Loaf may be trying to vote fraudulently? This means that something MUST be done: Better find some old black ladies who can be prevented from voting.

DerrickWildcat October 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

"I was told there would be food."

DerrickWildcat October 27, 2012 at 2:32 pm

"Thank you for your Endorsement, Meat. Mr. Sununu has your Ham Sandwich and cab fare as promised."

CrunchyKnee October 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I am Jack's bloated washed-up has been.

SpiderCrab October 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Only In America

-Harry Golden

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Is Meatloaf supposed to be having a seizure?

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Yes; he is supposed to be having a seizure and collapsing, therefore rendering him unable to sing.

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Well, that would be helpful, certainly.

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I imagine that dogs everywhere hate him. Passionately.

OneYieldRegular October 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Never in my life have I seen clearer evidence of the failure of the War on Drugs.

GemlikeFlame October 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Actually, Meat has undergone quite a bit of physical and emotional trauma, which is the only way I can explain this. Doesn't excuse the unrepentant Republican polishing he's doing, though.

DerrickWildcat October 27, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I think the most important thing that can be taken away from this endorsement is that Meatloaf is alive.

DerrickWildcat October 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm

This is good news for the writers of VH1's, "Where Are They Now?" show!

DerrickWildcat October 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Ok, this is what I was waiting for. I think I've made my decision.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I guess Mitt figures if he surrounds himself with horrible people he will seem less horrible by comparison.

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm

OK, the fellow in the blue jacket (no idea who he is) is more than a bit of a drama queen, but he does have a fairly decent voice, and can at least carry the tune, although he does sound a bit pinky-up-the-ass when he's straining for the high notes.
But Meatloaf? That can only be deliberate self-parody, right?
On the plus side, we do get to see Mitt looking cringingly uncomfortable (more so than usual).

HarryButtle October 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Who are ANY of the others? What's with the guy in the top hat? And isn't that one guy kinda, um, brownish?

DCBloom October 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I think one or more of them are from the band Alabama.
Of course

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 2:34 pm

The Loaf's days with Glee may be numbered…

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Is this a public exorcism?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 27, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Assume Meatloaf mangled.

[the song w/ votes]

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Speaking of relieving the cause, but not the symptom.

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm

At least now, no one is waiting with antici-
`
`
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pation.

James Michael Curley October 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Ain't enough ketchup in the world to make that Meatloaf palatable.

snowpointsecret October 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Meatloaf still gets to do things? I thought we had gotten rid of him.

DerrickWildcat October 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm

DAYUM!
He got the Loaf!

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Pop quiz:

What will Meat Loaf do for love?
a) Anything
b) That

snowpointsecret October 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

c) Destroy the entire human race with his singing.

ProgressiveInga October 27, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Eat?

snowpointsecret October 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

OT: Obama's ground game, at least here in Dayton, Ohio, is clearly ahead of Romney's. Not only do I actually see Obama people around and doing things, but they actually called me and asked if I wanted to volunteer. They said they'd call back and tell me things that need to be done. I'm just kind of confused on how they got my name, considering I'm not a registered Democrat and this is the first general election I've been old enough to vote in…

I'm saying no if it has anything to do with me going to West Dayton though, that area just plain scares me considering it typically leads the news with "shooting in West Dayton". We shall see.

RedStatePinko October 27, 2012 at 2:54 pm

If the OFA folks in OH are anything like they are in NH, you'll have plenty of choices. I *sniff* love those guys. Sorry I have to head home to my tragically red state (home of John Rich, to sort of steer this back on topic).

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:51 pm

To be fair, Romney supporters are too damned scared to set foot within the city limits of Dayton.

Crank_Tango October 27, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Two out of three ain't bad?

Dudleydidwrong October 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I get a kick out of all these bullshit Republicans warbling the words to "America the Beautiful." Wonder if they know anything about the woman who wrote those words? Katharine Lee Bates was a prof at Wellesley College and most likely was a lesbian who was committed to one life-long relationship.

Bates' originally had these lines as part of the third stanza:

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

Marian Anderson, a blah woman, sang it on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial when the upstanding, patriotic racist women of the DAR refused to let her rent their Constitution Hall for a concert.

Sing away, you skangy bastards. And crown thy hypocrisy with a shit sandwich.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm

History is as meaningless as facts to today's Republicans. I notice they do know enough not to sing This Land Is Your Land, but probably because they think Pete Seeger wrote it.

sbj1964 October 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Mittens has the voice of an ANGEL ! OK, it's the Angel of Death,but he likes to stick with his Bane theme,as Charon the Boatman who shuttles companies across the waters to the land of the dead.China.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 3:34 pm

He briefly joined the Heck's Angels when he was in college. They liked to heckle the anti-war protestors and 'offer' free haircuts to the hippies…

jgalleg4 October 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I want Mittens to sing "She Bangs"

fuflans October 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm

every time mittens pulls out a 'celebrity' i'm reminded that when you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas.

doloras October 27, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Oh no, did he get the Alan Parsons Project too?!?

redarmyzombie October 27, 2012 at 5:40 pm

CANINE LIBEL!

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Also, when you lie down with Paul Ryan, you get up with fleas.

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Hell, fleas if you're lucky.

JustPixelz October 27, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Mitt outsourced his singing with as much success as he outsourced his foreign policy.

Meatloaf thinks Mitt will appoint him Secretary of Rockin' Out. So sad.

Mitt is already rolling back noise pollution regulations. Now I have to gouge my ears out.

fuflans October 27, 2012 at 3:19 pm

was that popcorn popping in the background or the sound of someone's very last nerve frying?

Chet Kincaid_ October 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Do you think Mitt has finally learned, after Trump, Clint and Meat Loaf, to run away from celebrities bearing endorsements?

DemmeFatale October 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Doesn't look like it.
Good point.

bobbert October 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Assume celebs suck.

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm

"Mitt has finally learned"

One of these things is not like the other.

M. Bouffant October 27, 2012 at 7:27 pm

No, because he is so out of touch w/ even his people (CRACKERS!!) he has no idea who is & isn't a real celeb these days.

He probably has an Osmond Bros. reunion planned for next wknd.'s big GOTV rallies.

bibliotequetress October 27, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Has anyone yet explained to Mitt that Trump, Clint and Meatloaf are celebrities? I don't know if that information is in his database.

JustPixelz October 27, 2012 at 3:26 pm

On the bright side, Romney in the White House a few years and America won't be beautiful anymore. So no more song for Meatloaf to ruin.

Spacious skies = coal darkened skies
Amber waves of grain = Emerald waves of subsidized corn
Purple mountains = Permanent Winter Olympics
Fruited plains = Heterosexuals-only plains.
Crown thy good with brotherhood = every man for himself

Biel_ze_Bubba October 28, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Amber waves of parched corn. No need to change the color.

Native_of_SL_UT October 27, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I am a big fan of Wonkette, but it's posts like this that lead me to believe that the people who run this site secretly hate us and are trying to get us to drink ourselves to death.

Chet Kincaid_ October 27, 2012 at 3:32 pm

If I were Mitt, this would impact my self-esteem.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Yes, it was almost as bad as when that person from the diner touched him.

"Jeeves, draw my bath and don't forget the anti-bacterial soap."

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Fortunately for those of us who enjoy schaedenfreude-based humor, nothing impacts Mitt's self-esteem.

JustPixelz October 27, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Let's imagine what would happen if Obama had laughed while someone sang "America The Beautiful" like that at his rally…

"This is yet more evidence of Obama's disdain for America, her history and her sacred values." — AOTK.

smitallica October 27, 2012 at 3:35 pm

So Obama has Springsteen, Tom Hanks, and Morgan Freeman. And Romney gets Meat Loaf, Dave Mustaine, and half of Big & Rich.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Don't forget Ted Nugent or he'll blow you to smithereens and have you for dinner.

ClassicPoopMoat October 27, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Let me guess which half of Rig and Bitch Romney got.

Arkoday October 28, 2012 at 8:10 am

And Lindsay Lohan, maybe sorta-kinda we'll see possibly.

smitallica October 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Like a Snowball in Hell, I'll be gone when the 7th comes…

Chet Kincaid_ October 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Assume Romney revolted.

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Mr. Loaf should stick with his movie career. I'm thinking: Meatloaf versus Predator

viennawoods13 October 27, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I always did hate and despise Meatloaf, and retroactively, I now know why.

Incitefully_Joe October 27, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I know Mitt Romney'd do anything to get elected, but I'm surprised he'd do that.

ElPinche October 27, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Romney has Meatloaf, Obama has Katy Perry.
However, Meatloaf does have bigger titays.

Chet Kincaid_ October 27, 2012 at 3:49 pm

(reprising yesterday's poetry corner)

so much depends
upon

a red-faced
belter

glazed with slick
man-sweat

beside the white
Mormons.

gurukalehuru October 28, 2012 at 2:26 am

I just love it when somebody does a poem parody and I actually get the reference. Well done.

Barrelhse October 27, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Meatloaf. It's all shit in the morning.

mrblifil October 27, 2012 at 4:05 pm

It's like the Romney campaign said "shit we need to tailor-make something for Wonkette!"

redarmyzombie October 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm

It's nice to know they're thinking of us!

doloras October 27, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Remember how this guy got his name. At a drunken teenage party, he lay down in the parking lot and let someone drive the front wheel of a truck over his head. The reaction: "Wow, dude, you must have brains of meatloaf". True story.

fuflans October 27, 2012 at 4:25 pm

OT but mr fuflans' first call for barry today got a convicted felon (for assaulting a cop).

mr fuflans reminded him that he can still volunteer to intimidate romney supporters at the polling place of his choice.

James Michael Curley October 27, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Way to go. Keep plugging. I sort of wish that my plans to actually be in Ohio worked out cause East Coast of NJ, BarneyFrankenstorm and like not getting any time off from work. Still I made about 60 phone calls to an area code near Columbus from the OFA list.

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

We all must do our part. All praise to you and Mr. F.

LibrarianX October 27, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I'm waiting for Willard to cut Mr. Meat's hair!

ingloriousbytch October 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Mitt just needs someone to help him lock up the youth vote. What's Axl Rose up to?

Jukesgrrl October 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

And he's hoping Vanilla Ice will help him with the "urban" vote.

MinAgain October 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Personally, I blame too much consumption of genetically modified waves of grain.

James Michael Curley October 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Meat Loaf goes with Romney, but the heart and soul of his Bat Out of Hell album comes from Max and Roy of the E Street Band with Little Stevie being the glue that got the album recorded and Springsteen goes with Obama. Maybe this is why Meat Loaf looked in pain, left out in the rain again.

James Michael Curley October 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Now, for a map out of OHIO which is sure to offend someone. https://secure.ohiodems.org/page/smartproxy/BSD_B

Chet Kincaid_ October 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Florida was mislabeled. s/b "Pudenda".

Monsieur_Grumpe October 27, 2012 at 5:52 pm

That does it. I'm burning all of my Meatloaf recordings. Wait, that's right, I don't have any.

a_pink_poodle October 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Meat Loaf was the anthem to my youth. I'm crushed to see him like this. :(

… but it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far. And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car.

And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are, objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are…

ProgressiveInga October 27, 2012 at 6:17 pm

She still brings the funny: From @ElayneBoosler:
"Meat Loaf Endorses Romney At Ohio Rally." Can Chopped Liver be far behind?

DickWharfinger October 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I thought Mr. Loaf & Egg were siblings.

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 6:44 pm

The folks who posted the secret Linda McCartney tape must be healous jealous that they've finally been topped.

cousinitt October 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Even NY police officer Gil ("female, it's what's for dinner") Valle was heard to comment, "Meatloaf again?"

iburl October 27, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I thought Roseanne Barr was running for president against Romney, not changing her name to Meatloaf and endorsing Romney.

M. Bouffant October 27, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I'm now in favor of a Romney presidency. It'll lead to a counter-cultural revival; beatniks will come back, as will real (stupid) rock & roll. Which will be better than those effing hipsters, American Id-hole, &c.

LibertyLover October 27, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Praying for the end of time…

Nostrildamus October 28, 2012 at 2:41 am

to match the end of intonation?

ClassicPoopMoat October 27, 2012 at 8:02 pm

I want to be there for the introduction.

"Mitt, meet Meat.

Meat, meet Mitt."

bibliotequetress October 27, 2012 at 8:03 pm

This is nowhere near as cool as Axl Rose endorsing Obama.

Sharkey October 27, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Forever waves of pain…

ffredpalakon October 27, 2012 at 8:25 pm

"The highly successful Romney event was topped by a moment of musical genius by a top wattage star singing at the top of his game," said nobody, and Jennifer Rubin.

glamourdammerung October 27, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Well, he apparently committed voter fraud so I guess he really is a Republican.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/meat-loaf-

finallyhappy October 27, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I voted today! Another nail in R/R's coffin- with votes

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Meatloaf's real first name is Leslie.
Wolf Blitzer's real first name is Leslie.
Coincidence?
I THINK NOT!!

ttommyunger October 27, 2012 at 11:16 pm

What, no Victoria Jackson or Hank Williams, Jr.? WTF? WTF, indeed!

Negropolis October 27, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Et tu, John Rich?

not that Dewey October 27, 2012 at 11:48 pm

"…you Mr. Trump recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership and so ultimately you didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey, and these are the decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir."

-President Obama, WHCD 2011

Beowoof October 28, 2012 at 12:32 am

You know Meat looks like he is receiving at a gang bang in the pic.

LetUsBray October 28, 2012 at 12:43 am

But the question Willard posed years ago still stands:

Who let the dogs out?

Who?

Who?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 28, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Time for Americal to pinch off this Loaf.

lulzmonger October 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

I can see a pair of dicks by the dashboard lights!

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Red Pony Tours,

PROTIP: Compact machines that have recording capabilities are ubiquitous. If you are an over-the-hill yelper who just chumped it hard in front of a huge crowd with smartphones, pulling the video AFTER it goes viral may not be the cunning plan for you. In fact, weeks or even months later, after your inevitable humiliating loss of a Fair Use lawsuit, you yourself risk making your EPIC FAIL go viral all over again.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 27, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I'm down.

mille derps October 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Mitt doesn't care for your Parliamentary ways.

tessiee October 27, 2012 at 2:42 pm

George Clinton/Hillary Clinton 2016!

Negropolis October 28, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Oh knew it was snark. Just wanted to nail it on the wall.

Redgyal October 28, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Understood. Today we are all over zealous carpenters!

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