ONCE YOU GO BARACK YOU NEVER GO BACK  1:30 pm October 26, 2012

Wingnuts Terrified: Black Man Coming For, Possibly On, Their Daughters

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Your daughter's a whoreYou wanna see something really scary? “First he asked for your wedding gifts, then your yard sales and now he has asked for your daughters.” Dun dun DUN. That’s right. The most scariest thing that could ever have happened has happened, right here in our own US of A. A woman made a video acting like she wanted Pimp in Chief Barack Obama to do sex on her young white body, and the wingnuts are reacting exactly as you’d expect: by rolling their eyes and going “eh, if we were libtards we would think that was funny we guess, but we’re not so we don’t” and then moving onto something important. HAHA just kidding. No. They are fainting in horror and screeching and wailing that mildly racy dialogue (if it were 1924) of young white women implying doing sex on Barack Obama will result in his landslide defeat. Let us watch them gnash their teeth and tear their hair, together, after the jump.

First, here is the video. It is by Lena Dunham, whom we LOVE (and we reeeeeally don’t get the backlash, Gawker; she is smart and hilarious and her version of shallow and callow 24 is very much the one we remember from 45 years ago, and which our own mother remembers from the 1910s). There is at least one very funny line, about the Lilly Ledbetter Act. Hooray!

So now we’ve all seen it, we can follow along as the wingnuts vomit with fear!

From RedState:

Lena Dunham allows herself to be used in this cheap, last minute attempt to be the first for young women. Dunham, who was raised in a wealthy, over-sexualized household and who started therapy at age 7 must somewhat be forgiven for her role; she seems to have a thing for talking about her first time, the Obama administration was just happy to oblige. The problem is, this is an adult man, with two young daughters, who should know better.

Also from RedState:

If you need any further proof we live in a fallen world destined for hell fire, consider the number of people who have no problem with the President of the United States, via a campaign ad, ridiculing virgins and comparing sex to voting.

This is the man who once said children were a punishment. At least we know he’s cool with abortion.

How about some Breitbart?

So she chose to do it for the first time with Barack Obama, since he “cares about and understands women.” In fact, he understands them so well that he exploits them for insane commercials comparing losing your virginity with voting. Obama has young daughters.

But that didn’t stop him from releasing this commercial. Because this is what Obama thinks of your daughters. This is Obama’s official campaign ad. Paid for with his campaign money. Distributed by his campaign. If this ad were any more demeaning to women – who apparently care only about having sex, if you listen to Lena “You Want To Do It” Dunham — it would be produced by Bill Maher and star Bill Clinton.

Oh, wait. That’s Obama’s actual campaign.

Here, have some twats!

MandingoBoogity boogity boo

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeen!

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 296 comments }

nounverb911 October 26, 2012 at 1:33 pm

"Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"

Barbara_ October 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm

And hopefully, staying for some pancakes, if ya know what I mean.

Jeff had a business trip to Vegas 2 nights ago and as his plane was taking off Air Force One was landing. I hear that Barack Obama popped into the employee cafeteria at the Bellagio and surprised the people there. I love this guy!

James Michael Curley October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

It would really surprise the Bellagio employees is if Steve Wynn popped in.

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 10:42 pm

The only reason he'd ever pop in is to tell them that they are fired.

Antispandex October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Cumming AT dinner?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 26, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Cumming is dinner?

sullivanst October 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm

The President Re-elect, judging by the stench of desperation on RS et al.

M. Bouffant October 26, 2012 at 3:59 pm
Douché October 26, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Natty Black Man?

Barbara_ October 26, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Barack, I'll save you some time and wait for you by the curb outside.

One_who_wanders October 26, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I love it when the theocrats get all lathered up by sexuality.

miss_grundy October 26, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Why are these people such assholes? Aren't the red states the top consumers of pornography in America? Geez, they are like Roman Catholics, reading sex into everything.

MaxUdargo October 26, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I'm sorry, but that ad was weird. I mean, it would be fine if some supporter had loaded it onto YouTube, but as an official Obama ad?

Why in the world would the Obama people deliberately use sexual innuendo and a very young woman to make whatever point they're trying to make (that young women are shallow and silly?). It's just weird. And it seems to me it's going to rub a lot of people the wrong way. Why do it? Are the Obama people tired of listening to the people on the news shows talk about Richard Mourdock and God's rape babies? They wanted to give the journos something new to talk about?

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Troll is trolling.

Sorry.

MaxUdargo October 27, 2012 at 1:02 am

What does that mean, exactly? Does it mean you think I'm pretending to have an opinion I don't have. Or that I'm trying to start a fight? Or that I'm a secret right-wing provocateur or something?

All you have to do is click on my icon to see none of those things are true.

Or is it just your cute way of dismissing my argument?

It just seems like a stupid thing for them to do. It implies some things about how Obama views himself and his relationship with female voters that some might find a little creepy and others might find a little condescending. These doting "I'm a hot chick who thinks Mr. Candidate is hot" videos are fine when they're spontaneous expressions from some supporter on YouTube, but you don't copy that format as an official campaign argument. It's kind of like sending yourself a sexy valentine.

Mumbletypeg October 27, 2012 at 1:55 pm

No I recognize you MaxU and have enjoyed your comments for some time here… My own misgivings about the ad's premise are with the flawed analogy of "first time" which I feel should have nothing to do with 'opportunism' per se; and the "right time" can fall along a quite vast array of timelines for many different kinds of women (speaking in terms of having worked w/ young women in youth groups and tutoring and I'm not keen on making light of the pressures) —
So but that's just to chime in you aren't the only one expressing qualms about the ad. I'm not sure why the 'troll' word got used against you, perhaps and I'm just guessing since I haven't mastered contexts for the word's deployment myself, but maybe was b/c you inserted your contrasting opinion as a reply rather than a stand-alone comment? Anyway.

Tom October 26, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Wait.. her last name is Dunham. Barry's mom's last name was Dunham. Another Breitbart "vetting" in 3, 2, 1…

MacRaith October 26, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Yes, she's actually Obama's half-sister. So by implying that they're having incestuous sex, the Obama campaign is blatantly trying to put West Virginia back in play.

OneYieldRegular October 26, 2012 at 2:17 pm

But of course. She's Ann Dunham's secret granddaughter, from Kendonesia.

PugglesRule October 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm

She's Barack's 22nd cousin 400 times removed, whose (insert number)grandparents who came over from England were also Barack's (insert number)grandparents.

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Kendonesia. I'm going to have to remember that one.

Callyson October 26, 2012 at 1:35 pm

"It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute!"

Seriously, that seems to be the fallback line for the Reeps whenever they see a strong woman stand up against them.

Today, we are all sluts and prostitutes…

fatbob54 October 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Can I be a slut too?

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Yes, but there are auditions, first.

MozakiBlocks October 28, 2012 at 11:56 am

Do tell.

GunToting[Redacted] October 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Tell me more about the sluts and prostitutes.

sullivanst October 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Let's march.

Lazy Media October 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Lord knows, I am. A slut, anyway. I keep asking for money, but nothin'.

memzilla October 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"First they came for the sluts, and I said nothing because…" etc.

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I ride the SLUT.

(And you can too, if you visit Seattle.)

Detesticle October 26, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Ohh, Reeps. I like that one. Everyone keeps trying to coin a Republican shorthand — Rethugs etc. Maybe the Reapers? … I dunno. The quest continues, probably. We need an X Prize for renaming the Republicans up in here.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Rape-ublicans?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Zing!

miss_grundy October 26, 2012 at 3:05 pm

I saw a volunteer from the Obama campaign wearing a "Sluts Vote" button and he was wearing it on behalf of his daughter and granddaughter.

Biff October 26, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Pleased to meetcha!

The Professor October 26, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Good lord, I'm a slut and a prostitute!?
And for 134 years I've always thought that I was a male…

viennawoods13 October 26, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Well, if you insist…..

HRH_Maddie October 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Seriously? THIS they clutch their pearls for? I find a dude running for the senate that says rape babies are gods will a whole lot more offensive. Also that asshole who said "some girls rape easy."

zumpie October 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm

And the turkey faced pissy old grandma man who says that of course a blah is gonna back up a blah Evil Kenyan Muslin Usurper

teebob2000 October 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Now, now, not to get all technical-like on ya, he was only quotin' advice from his pappy to watch fer them easy-rapin' gals!

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Cherchez la femme!!!

mavenmaven October 26, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Actually, in their minds, its "natural" when a man forces sex upon a woman, but the idea that a woman might want sex on her own terms makes her a "slut".

HRH_Maddie October 26, 2012 at 3:52 pm

As Clayton Williams said re: rape: "If it's inevitable, just relax and enjoy it" – Words to live by.

mbatch October 26, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Geez I miss Ann Richards (and Molly Ivins too also).

hagajim October 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Gee, I didn't hear a single thing about sex anywhere in that ad. I just got that this chick thought the first time you did it (voted) you should do it for someone who actually knows that rape is rape and not an act of God. Fucktards each and every one of them. And John Nolte, there's a special place in r*tar* hell for you.

Mumbletypeg October 26, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeen!

What Would JesusWeen Do?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 26, 2012 at 3:01 pm

What would Ween do?

Allmighty_Manos October 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I don't know but I'm getting a "John Nolan is fapping to this Lena Dunham video" vibe.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

He can join the club.

BerkeleyBear October 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I got a John Nolte is fapping to Obama's "blossoming" daughters vibe. And then threw up and felt stabby all at once.

docterry6973 October 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm

But what does John Nolte think?

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Pretty sure you misspelled 'drink'

Designer_Rants October 26, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Which of course is: Absinthe on meth rocks, with a splash of LSD 25.

SoBeach October 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Putin had a very similar commercial. Not sure what that means…

Nostrildamus October 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Socialists think alike?

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Yet, somehow, Putin's ad came off incredibly creepy, where this is obviously tongue-in-cheek.

In Soviet Russia, president sexes YOU!

Disassembly October 26, 2012 at 1:37 pm

But it's cool when Reagan makes the same joke: http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/10/lena-du

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Racist Hypocrites are hypocritical. And racist.

BlueMonkeh October 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

thas diffrunt…

Disassembly October 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

“I know what it’s like to pull the Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself, and I can tell you it only hurts for a minute and then it feels just great.”

Studebaker Hawk October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Sounds more like something Nancy Reagan would say…

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

It was also cool to raise taxes almost a dozen times. But, Reagan.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I have to say that it sounds a whole hell of a lot creepier coming from Reagan than it does from the young Dem hottie.

Incitefully_Joe October 26, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Lionel[redacted]Esq October 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm

So Reagan was a Muslim?

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Keep pulling that lever, Republicans.

ffredpalakon October 26, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Well, now that we've come across this piece of deeply disturbing, incredibly offensive humor, calm-minded individuals everywhere can now agree: Ronald Reagan was the Zodiac killer.

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Wait, so Reagan was a Hollywood homosexual?!

Disassembly October 27, 2012 at 12:44 am

Hey, I disassemble that remark.

arihaya October 27, 2012 at 12:37 am

When will you stupid liberal understand: only old white men are allowed to make joke about sex/rape/lady parts.

Women themselves are verboten !

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

WTF are those old white guys griping about? They all wanted to have sex with Sarah Palin. Sauce for goose, sauce for gander.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Not all of them are old. Ben Shaprio can't be much older than 13 — and I assume that from his writing, not his boyish looks.

Boojum October 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

These are people who think rape jokes are funny.

commiegirl99 October 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Where is that marvelous ape?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm

God intends for rape jokes to be funny.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:35 pm

George Carlin approves of this message.

docterry6973 October 26, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Mandingo! I swear these wingers and their faux outrage are so tiresome. Just imagine their outrage if Romney promised to resume torture. Oh, wait…

JustPixelz October 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Voting is free (except for the cost of getting documents to get a voter ID). Another government freebee.

(My first time was with McGovern.)

docterry6973 October 26, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Mine too, and the bastard never even called me again.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Not even a thank-you note, I bet!

weejee October 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Same. Missed Tricky Dick & Hubert the Happy Warrior by 6 months.

Lot_49 October 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Ha ha: first ever vote and I was already in Veet-Nahm. Got to vote for McGovern and a straight Communist Party ticket in my home state, just to be "ironic."

weejee October 26, 2012 at 2:16 pm

My first serious campaign work was for George, working in rural southern Illinois as a Vietnam vet for McGovern. That really confused a lot of rednecks in those parts. Good times…

BlueMonkeh October 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Luck-ay! My first time was with Mondale. :(

HELisforHEL October 26, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Mondale, too-had some asshole Reagan shitheels scratch up my car sticker at the time (not understanding that I could just easily replace it), because, well, Reagan.

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 2:43 pm

John Anderson, 1980. I was a young Republican idiot back then, but I was still smart enough to hate Ronald Reagan.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 26, 2012 at 3:34 pm

My first time was with the Big Dog in '92. Pulled Slick Willie's lever so hard my hand cramped.

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:02 pm

My first time was with John Kerry. God that felt awful. But, I'd fooled around with Dean in the primary, so that kind of made up for it.

So, it kind of depends on what the defintion of is is.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I think that ad was filmed on O'Keefe's dildo boat.

sudsmckenzie October 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Someone get that young lady some aspirin.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

And a cigarette.

glamourdammerung October 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Some clown that literally called a Supreme Court Justice a "goatfucking child molester" for disagreeing with them is whining about morality?

Is there a punchline missing somewhere?

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Yes.

BlueMonkeh October 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

nope…just an assclown that needs to be punched

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

He's also on TeeVee often for his "opinion".

Texan_Bulldog October 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

If this was a pro Mittens ad, this would be hailed as the cleverest ad ever. Don't worry, Mittens. You got the all important Meat Loaf endorsement–you'll be fine.

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Yeah, two out three ain't bad.

docterry6973 October 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Isn't Paradise by the Dashboard Light really a hymn of praise? Not like this filthy Obama stuff.

miss_grundy October 26, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Gah, what is it with these cracker ex-musicians? Meat Loaf and Ted Nugent line themselves with Rmoney and here in Detroit, it's Kid Rock, who is probably best known for marrying Pamela Anderson for about five minutes.

doloras October 26, 2012 at 3:33 pm

You took the words right out of my mouth.

starfanglednut October 26, 2012 at 6:11 pm

It musta been while I was kissin' you.

kittenbomb October 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

John Nolte says "How could a president with two young, blossoming daughters release an ad as disgusting as this?"

Then he had to have some "alone" time.

kittensdontlie October 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

The 'blossoming' remark sent my creep meter into overload.

One_who_wanders October 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm

The little needle wrapped right around the peg.

MissTaken October 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Pedobear keeps knocking on my door thanks to that tweet.

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Assume bear Nolte.

rickmaci October 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Yah. He went a little thomasjefferson with that line.

HELisforHEL October 26, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Yeah, unless they're discussing horticulture, anyone using 'blossoming' gives me pause.

M. Bouffant October 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

You can lead a right-wing cretin to culture, but you can't make it think.

Hammiepants October 26, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I do not understand their interpretation of sex. I would hate to live in that world. All snark aside, they just don't get it. These people scare the shit out of me. They condense all their fear of women, gay people, and non-procreative sex in general into something really ugly and twisted. I would feel worse for them if they weren't such hateful assweasels.

HELisforHEL October 26, 2012 at 3:47 pm

They're hateful assweasels because of the reasons you've listed. They really need to calm down, untwist their panties (magic or not) and have a little fun.

finallyhappy October 26, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Hateful Assweasels- another name to consider for my future dance troupe made up of other seniors from my exercise class(and no, I don't mean 12th graders or college kids)

skmind October 26, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Sarah Palin just had an orgasm!

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Nah. Only Sarah can get Sarah off. Yeah, she's that egotistical.

Detesticle October 26, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I watched this porn. At first, I was interested, then more interested, then MORE Interested … then suddenly I lost interest. (Old SNL joke.)

emmelemm October 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Hee! I remember that one.

Antispandex October 26, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Oh! It was about VOTING….what a jip! I was soooo in the mood for some porno…I mean adult movie entertainment. So, voting. Well, I'm probably the only person in the world who thought that was the point of it. Filthy lib slut! (Call me)

UW8316154 October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

this is what happens when you assume deer dead.

widestanceromance October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Dear Wonkette,

I find this photo IMPOSSIBLE not to fap to, but I'm at work. What should I do?

Hard at Work and Hardly Working

emmelemm October 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Iknowright? A NSFW would have been nice.

Seriously, that PHOTO.

widestanceromance October 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

My jungle fever has flared up somethin' fierce.

jodyleek October 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Have you never fapped at work? I'm an old woman and even I've fapped at work.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

No kidding. Throughout my professional career, whenever I changed jobs, I knew I was finally comfortable with my new position when I was able to jerk off in the handicapped stall.

Jus_Wonderin October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

"was finally comfortable with my new position"

Are there alternate positions for fapping? I only know one. But, I grew up rural.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

What, you didn't have access to the Kama Faptra? That's too bad.

starfanglednut October 26, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Baldar, don't you work for the government?

widestanceromance October 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Only when I was hourly paid, working a holiday and getting double time and a half for each stroke. I don't come cheaply.*

*the client I billed my time to was The World Bank

Blueb4sinrise October 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Do you work near heavy machinery?

widestanceromance October 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Just my own!

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Yoicks!

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm

LOL comeback of the afternoon.

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Wait, whose back?

widestanceromance October 26, 2012 at 2:55 pm

heh, heh You said 'comeback.'

simplyblue7 October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Why yes, Alex Marlow, Barack can come from behind. Most men can.

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Thank God.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 26, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Eh…he's not really "behind" outside of Rasmussen polls anyway. The funny part is going to see the bitter cries of "he stole'd that elecshun!" the day after Bamz takes that fatheaded-tax evader out and puts us out of his misery. The wingnut cries will be EPIC….right now I feel a bit like Cartman waiting for Scott Tenerman to taste his chili with these dickheads…

phillipmarlowe2terry October 27, 2012 at 10:27 pm

MAybe Alex wants someone to come on his behind, without him being gay.

CheeseBro69 October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Lena Dunham was 18 when John Kerry ran for prez. I bet he regrets not being her first.

Ryan October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

At least when Obama rapes her, she'll be forced to keep the baby

badseeds October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Uh huh huh . . . Alex said "come from behind."

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm

This is good news for Rick Santorum?

FNMA October 26, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I guess some people think "Blazing Saddles" was a documentary.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Also, The Ten Commandments and Red Dawn.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 26, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Clinton took my cherry in 1996.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Reagan for me, 1980. I've gotten much better since then.

Generation[redacted] October 26, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Clinton, 1992. And damn he was good. Kinda ruined me for other candidates.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Dukakis in '88. Not all first times are that good.

PhilippePetain October 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Al Gore in 2000. It was a little awkward and clammy.

MissTaken October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Me too, and since then I've given it away to Gore, Kerry, Obama, and Obama. I'm very loose with my votes.

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Poll dancer!

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Bravo!

*tosses singles*

Jus_Wonderin October 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

MT, I don't think giving it away at four year intervals is loose. You are very discriminating with your votes.

MissTaken October 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I didn't list off all the state and locals that have tasted my votes, too. I even gave it up to Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown from Singapore in 2010.

Jus_Wonderin October 26, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Trollop!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 26, 2012 at 2:45 pm

And think about it, a California initiative, you need 504,760 signatures. A Constitutional Amendment requires 807,615. So every time you vote for one, think of how many other people you are giving it up to.

Incitefully_Joe October 26, 2012 at 4:27 pm

My first time was not that memorable, the guy it was with was kinda boring, but the main highlight from back then was hooking up with Bob Casey to make Rick Santorum jealous.

cousinitt October 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I'll always remember walking into the dark booth and pulling the dark gray, stained curtain around me. Sitting on the barstool, I gently caressed the pale gray knob of the handsomely graying candidate. I pulled, he clicked. His name was Gene, Clean Gene, they called him and I was one very satisfied 18 year old, now a man.

Geminisunmars October 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I'm so old I can't recall who was my first.

finallyhappy October 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

My first vote was a protest vote for Thatcher Longstreth for mayor(A REPUBLICAN) against Frank Rizzo the fascist Dem mayor of Philly.

Dudleydidwrong October 26, 2012 at 9:50 pm

My first presidential roll in the hay was with JFK. Ah, we were young and foolish. The world was our apple and we were so much in love. Stars were brighter and the moon had that romantic glow of fulfillment, release, and an unbound future.

And then fucking Oswald came between us–came between us all.

Buzz Feedback October 26, 2012 at 1:44 pm

In the spirit of Cocktober, I nominate Dracula Cunt to star in the GOP response ad.

Only the old-timers may understand.

BlueMonkeh October 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

wow – whatever happened to that witch?

fuflans October 26, 2012 at 5:17 pm

who you calling old?

CrunchyKnee October 26, 2012 at 1:45 pm

So, this John is Nick's younger and dumber brother?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 26, 2012 at 3:05 pm

More like a tumor some doctor removed from Nick Nolte and tossed into the garbage than anything else…

SexySmurf October 26, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Humor is like pussy: John Nolte gets neither.

Also, am I the only person who noticed his avatar is Al Bundy?

FNMA October 26, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Actually, Ted Bundy would be more appropriate.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Which is hilarious because Ed O'Neill AND Al Bundy are both Democrats. I read that for the '92 election O'Neill actually donned his Bundy character to cut an ad supporting Bill Clinton. Which would make John Nolte a complete moron for using that as his avatar. Maybe he should pick something a little more his speed…like Kirk Cameron stroking a banana while Roy Comfort looks on lustily and approvingly.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 26, 2012 at 1:47 pm

These complaining bloggers need a good deflowering. Don’t look at me. I’m not their type.

Fairtackle October 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Ewww, John Nolte is way creepier than that add, with his "blossoming daughters" talk. Does he write descriptions for the Joy Book?

Cheburashka64 October 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The only thing I find creepy in this whole thing is the John Nolte tweet about Obama's "two young, blossoming daughters." THAT was seriously gross.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Yes, sadly the world "pollinate" comes to mind and I DO NOT WANT. What a creepy bastard.

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I know, right? There's a definite "Ol' Massa Paedobear" vibe goin on there.

Cue "Molasses to Rum to Slaves"…

PugglesRule October 26, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Dear John Nolte, please stop ogling my daughters or the Secret Service might need to visit you. Sincerely, Barack H. STP (Still the President) Obama

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 26, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Yeah…that's 'Lolita' speak right there…Bamz keep Sasha and Malia far, far away…also anyone in DC: if you have a pre-teen daughter and John Nolte offers her candy be afraid, be very afraid…

gullywompr October 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Relax nutters, it's just a gift that God intended.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The Big O is going to violate these prudes… With Votes!

emmelemm October 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Obligatory: Chiffarobe!

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:20 pm

see also: bustin' up

Antispandex October 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

BTW, that first comment by Nolte about "young blossuming daughters"? Um, he might just qualify as one of what my young granddaughters calls a "creeperson". I'm going to go ask.

ManchuCandidate October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Fear of a big black vote

SideshowSlob October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

"raised in a wealthy, over-sexualized household"

my god, she's lucky to be alive.

One_who_wanders October 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

We all have burdens to carry.

mwittier October 26, 2012 at 4:31 pm

We should kill her to protect her.

gullywompr October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

It's twue! It's twue!

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

"Ya wanna stop sucking on my arm, Miss Von Shtupp?"

belmontreport October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I love that in this situation, Obama is an adult man, but apparently 26-year-old Lena Dunham is a child? How sexist of Obama to make these men talk about an adult woman as though she's a child that can't make decisions on her own! He should be ashamed of himself!

PhilippePetain October 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Right, because 26 year old women never speak about sex in a ribald manner. They must be saved from this corrupting influence!

miss_grundy October 26, 2012 at 3:18 pm

In their world, in 1865, a woman cannot think for herself nor can she make any decisions for herself. She is merely chattel. That is what these fucktards want to take us back to because having women think for themselves make them feel less like men. And they cannot have that.

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Because it has to be said:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M

*with a nod to Lascauxcaveman*

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm

How did you know I'm actually Mel Brooks?

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Because of your total inability to use a paddle ball…

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Mojopo October 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I LOVE her! Lena has a really good lock on things for someone her age. I expect her to be around for a long time. Funny, quirky ad. Love.

CrunchyKnee October 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Possibly coming on wingnut's daughters – sounds like my college days.

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Sarah Palin's, also, too.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

All right, listen to me. In a few hours, she'll probably be sane enough to work herself into some kind of towering Jesus-based rage at the hazy recollection of being seduced by some kind of cruel Kenyan who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member vote.

Lazy Media October 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

She just recorded that because he buss'ed up a chiffarobe for her.

BlueStateLibel October 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

That novel and movie was the only good thing to come out of the South ever.

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 2:16 pm

*koff* Eudora Welty *koff*

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 4:12 pm

*koff* Cajun food *koff*

Veritas78 October 26, 2012 at 9:13 pm

*koff* Kudzu *koff*

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Flannery libel!

magic_titty October 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Barack Obama wants to shuck your teenage daughter and jive all over her.

editor October 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

how charmingly victorian. to think that an ad about voting is really about sexing the president is rather like covering up the table legs lest they give anyone lascivious thoughts.

having said that, is there anyone who would prefer naked time with romney over the potus? yeah, didn't think so.

PugglesRule October 26, 2012 at 2:46 pm

naked time with romney

Aargh, I can't ever un-see those words. Ih ih ih ih ih

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm

prefer naked time with romney

Great. Thank you very much. Now what am I going to do?
Do they even make crutches for penises?

HELisforHEL October 26, 2012 at 3:55 pm

HAHAHA

M. Bouffant October 26, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Don't blame me, you asked.

Generation[redacted] October 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

The Joy of Voting

ingloriousbytch October 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The only kind of sex that the wingnuts want to acknowledge is the kind that makes those precious rape babies.

Katydid October 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I'd hit that scrumptious yum of man-meat. Wait, what were we talking about?

LIT_Fag October 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

If it had been a white dude, though, they' be
fapping furiously instead of rolling their eyes
at the thought of hot black prez on white boy
action.

Excuse me…..

Katydid October 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Who the FUCK is John Nolte?

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Nick's dopey little brother?

Dr. Matt October 26, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Someone apparently obsessed with this video.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

True story: my son went to college with Lena Dunham. Therefore I want to know why he isn't also rich, famous, and doing it with Barack Obama.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

CLUTCHING MY PEARL NECKLACE

Not_So_Much October 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Nick Nolte's younger, more dickish brother John is waaaaay less talented.

BlueStateLibel October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Falls down in horror after watching actually amusing, non-offensive ad.

Poindexter718 October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

And introducing Erick Erickson as Bob Ewell:
"I seen that black n****r yonder ruttin' on my Lena!"

SayItWithWookies October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

And not a word from any of those critics about how if Lena's 26 it shouldn't be her first time? Somehow I'm not surprised.

finallyhappy October 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Her first time was the last election

EatFrankRich October 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Can we gals help it if voting is a pleasure? http://youtu.be/pDGXMsmjYcE

Geminisunmars October 26, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I'll vote what she's voting…

EatFrankRich October 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm

That's the Socialist ticket she's got there.
European socialism I hear is WAY worse than even the Kenyan kind.

elviouslyqueer October 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Imma just leave this here.

(and yes, it's SFW, you ninnies!)

ElPinche October 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

This stuff doesn't even phase me anymore. Ok, we get it. Obama is a pimp. Add that to the pile of conservative BS against Barry.

But why doesn't John Nolte use his own face in his twatter avatar like everyone else? Because his face looks like creampied cunt.

Abernathy October 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Anyone else see a theme in John Nolte's twittergasm? "Blossoming," "blow," " going to be too big." He's obsessed with votes!

BoatOfVelociraptors October 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Everything you wanted to know about voting*

*but were afraid to ask.

finette_ October 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

So many unintentional sex metaphors in that collection of Twitters! The id will get you in the end.

Chet Kincaid_ October 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

This John Nolte seems fixated on handsome black men having sex with young white girls.

BadKitty904 October 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Me, too. Except for the "girls" part. But still…

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 4:16 pm

He has his fantasies of being a woman, of course.

mavenmaven October 26, 2012 at 2:28 pm

As TPM points out, Reagan already made that joke before this woman was even born:

On Thursday night, at a working class bar in Bayonne, N.J., Reagan said, “I know what it’s like to pull the Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself, and I can tell you it only hurts for a minute and then it feels just great.”

Chet Kincaid_ October 26, 2012 at 2:28 pm

They care about Obama's daughters now? Where was their concern when McCain was trying to push his "trollop" wife off the edge of the stage at Sturgis?!

poorgradstudent October 26, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Oh for fuck's sake, I've seen innuendos in G-rated Disney films that were racier.

elviouslyqueer October 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Sexual innuendos in Disney movies? *clutches bosom, staggers backwards*

Dashboard Buddha October 26, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Disney hell.

"Ward…weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

Blueb4sinrise October 26, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Fucking Nemo?

finallyhappy October 26, 2012 at 4:14 pm

CLownfish change sex. When Nemo's mom died, his dad, Marlon, as head of their group(ok, there was no group but a lot of the movie was fucked up) would have become female because the female is the leader of each clownfish group- a mature male is second in command. When the mature female dies, the mature male becomes female and the leader.

Zango Crudmonger October 26, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Now that is sexy talk. Rawr.

sullivanst October 26, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Gotta love all the men telling the women they should be offended. I always find the best way to convince women I'm a true friend of the ladyfolk is by telling them what to think.

owhatever October 26, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Some day this slut will be begging for a trans-vaginal probe after having a legitimate rape sanctioned by God and we won't give it to her.

shelwood46 October 26, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Republicans believe women shouldn't vote before marriage.

Geminisunmars October 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Republicans believe women shouldn't vote.

FIFY

An_Outhouse October 26, 2012 at 3:43 pm

and only vote for who their husband tells them too (my wife ran for county legislator and met some of these).

Generation[redacted] October 26, 2012 at 4:00 pm

If we just get government out of the way, husbands can use the power of the free market to ensure their wimmens vote the right way.

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:26 pm

This.

Chet Kincaid_ October 26, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Is that photo the "vetting" the Wingnuts keep crying and pleading for?

BaldarTFlagass October 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Your move, Ken Norton.

Geminisunmars October 26, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Vet me. Oh, vet me. Vet me harder…

viennawoods13 October 26, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I'll cry and plead, if that's what it takes. Yum.

Esteev October 26, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I hope no one laughs at me if I vote early…

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Don't feel bad. It's happened to us all.

pdiddycornchips October 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Once you vote Black, you never go back.

Joey_Blau October 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

wait… what part of that was about sex?

LibertyLover October 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I would be pleased for my daughter to vote for the first time for Barack Obama, but she won't turn 18 until March. Obviously, I didn't plan that pregnancy out very well.

finallyhappy October 26, 2012 at 4:16 pm

unlike Obama's mom who planned everything including the fake newspaper announcements in Hawaiin papers and his childhood meetings with Saul Alinsky(because she know Saul would die when Barack was 10)

LibertyLover October 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Clearly, she was a long term planner. I, on the other hand, am just a woman whose hormones got the better of her.

Lascauxcaveman October 26, 2012 at 4:24 pm

My daughter is just a few months younger than yours, but still a little too close to her Catholic education (single political issue: abortion) to be trusted at the ballot box. Hopefully a few years of college will give her a broader view.

Wadisay October 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm

So, where is the tagline at the end that says, "I'm Barack Obama, and I approved this desecration of all that's holy, savage penetration of white women, crime against humanity."?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 26, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Some wingtards butthurt so easy.

Gleem McShineys October 26, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Predictable overreaction by wingnuts to white girl making suggestions about losing virginity to a black man just shows all of you liberals that YOU'RE THE REAL RACISTS.

Dr. Matt October 26, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Are the teabagintards really having a hissy about this ad? Reeeeeeaaalllllyyyyy?

glamourdammerung October 26, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Yes. I have already dealt with a couple crying about this ad.

TribecaMike October 26, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Is John Nolte Nick's drunk driving alias?

Biff October 26, 2012 at 3:29 pm

God. Damnit.

Biff October 26, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Lena Dunham. Ann Dunham.

Coincidence? I think not.

Dr. Matt October 26, 2012 at 3:36 pm

And they are both white!!?!?!? Call Teh Blaze!!!!

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 11:28 pm

To the Beckian chalkboards, post haste!

Biff October 26, 2012 at 3:28 pm

And I thought Nick was the crazy Nolte…

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 26, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I'm calling it now….10:1 at least ONE of these wingnuts will wind up in a perp walk for either child porn or taking part in a child sex ring. My money is on Nolte, he seems like the Jerry Sandusky of girl molesters…ya know, catholic, conservative what have you.

An_Outhouse October 26, 2012 at 3:46 pm

okay, I finally watched the ad. What the fucking hell are these wing nuts complaining about? Jesus H. Christ!

MiniMencken October 26, 2012 at 3:50 pm

This is a redo of a pro-Putin election ad that ran on Russian state television this past winter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Noo0lzJILaM

glamourdammerung October 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Reagan did similar as well.
http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/10/lena-du

Cheburashka64 October 26, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I really hope this voting is like sex thing doesn't catch on, because I voted two weeks ago.
Talk about pre-mature…

Generation[redacted] October 26, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Obama just lost the womens vote. It was bad enough providing birth control coverage and equal pay. He somehow weasled through not defending rapists' parental rights. He could even survive his lack of vaginal probes. BUT, allowing a 20-something woman to speak in a sexually suggestive manner? Surely this is the last straw for the morally upright wimmenfolk of Real Ameruka.

Tio_Doidinho October 26, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Aw. shucks. What a charming little video.

The wingnut responses, not so much.

rickmaci October 26, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Must be something in the female Dunham genome?

HELisforHEL October 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Seriously, the ad is cute and not some oversteamed walk through Sexytime Park.
Gah fucking republicans.
As a TPM poster wrote, and worthy of a quote here:

The best stimulus program would be to increase domestic manufacturing of fainting couches for Republicans.
-Thomas Bailey

DahBoner October 26, 2012 at 4:09 pm

cheap, last minute effort

Every Republican knows 4 Diamond girls are not cheap!

And you must book in advance…

mustangsavvy October 26, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I have to be honest, I wasn't even paying attention to the rest of this article after the HAWT PIXX of the black dude. Yowza. Thanks My Wonkette for a Friday arvo pick-me-up! No, really, Sexxy Hawt Black Man – pick me up!

arihaya October 26, 2012 at 6:33 pm

In Nolte's defense, even the gayest gay in the Castro will choose Obama's daughters over any of Mitt's Statford sons

Walkinwiddaking October 26, 2012 at 6:33 pm

On the bright side Mandingo is a more positive name than Obama. Don'cha think?

Dr_pangloss October 26, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Conservatrives, still pissed off that liberals get more and better looking ass than they do. And we don't have to pay. I'm looking at you Diaperman!

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 10:35 pm

How dare a woman think she has control of her own sexuality! That's her father's responsibility!

Negropolis October 26, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Two young, blossoming daughters

Nolte, stop being a fucking perv. Project much, you sick bastard?

lulzmonger October 26, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Lena Dunham = WIN
Virgin Ben & Co. = FOREVER ALONE

That is all.

kateinmt October 27, 2012 at 12:05 am

WTF is John Nolte? And why do we care?

Attila_T_Hun October 27, 2012 at 2:32 am

"Dunham, who was raised in a wealthy, over-sexualized household and who started therapy at age 7" attended Oberlin College in Ohio, the most important swing state.
Oberlin College is also wealthy and over-sexualized.

ttommyunger October 27, 2012 at 7:22 am

Well, I'm glad to see one of the Dunhams is funny; her brother Jeff (and his idiotic puppets) sure as Hell isn't. BTW, do you ever imagine the Rightards will figure out that "pearl clutching" is unattractive on both men and women, but especially on men?

gurukalehuru October 27, 2012 at 9:28 am

Republicans are just anti-sex. At least, they are opposed to women having it.

Ground Zero Mostel October 27, 2012 at 10:46 pm

The same people who don't see race when the dog whistle is loud enough to wake Lassie from the dead, see sexy time and race-mixing in this harmless add?

Thunderclees October 29, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Small correction: Lena Dunham is terrible and Girls is not funny.

Carry on.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: