once you go barack you never go back

Wingnuts Terrified: Black Man Coming For, Possibly On, Their Daughters

Your daughter's a whoreYou wanna see something really scary? “First he asked for your wedding gifts, then your yard sales and now he has asked for your daughters.” Dun dun DUN. That’s right. The most scariest thing that could ever have happened has happened, right here in our own US of A. A woman made a video acting like she wanted Pimp in Chief Barack Obama to do sex on her young white body, and the wingnuts are reacting exactly as you’d expect: by rolling their eyes and going “eh, if we were libtards we would think that was funny we guess, but we’re not so we don’t” and then moving onto something important. HAHA just kidding. No. They are fainting in horror and screeching and wailing that mildly racy dialogue (if it were 1924) of young white women implying doing sex on Barack Obama will result in his landslide defeat. Let us watch them gnash their teeth and tear their hair, together, after the jump.

First, here is the video. It is by Lena Dunham, whom we LOVE (and we reeeeeally don’t get the backlash, Gawker; she is smart and hilarious and her version of shallow and callow 24 is very much the one we remember from 45 years ago, and which our own mother remembers from the 1910s). There is at least one very funny line, about the Lilly Ledbetter Act. Hooray!

So now we’ve all seen it, we can follow along as the wingnuts vomit with fear!

From RedState:

Lena Dunham allows herself to be used in this cheap, last minute attempt to be the first for young women. Dunham, who was raised in a wealthy, over-sexualized household and who started therapy at age 7 must somewhat be forgiven for her role; she seems to have a thing for talking about her first time, the Obama administration was just happy to oblige. The problem is, this is an adult man, with two young daughters, who should know better.

Also from RedState:

If you need any further proof we live in a fallen world destined for hell fire, consider the number of people who have no problem with the President of the United States, via a campaign ad, ridiculing virgins and comparing sex to voting.

This is the man who once said children were a punishment. At least we know he’s cool with abortion.

How about some Breitbart?

So she chose to do it for the first time with Barack Obama, since he “cares about and understands women.” In fact, he understands them so well that he exploits them for insane commercials comparing losing your virginity with voting. Obama has young daughters.

But that didn’t stop him from releasing this commercial. Because this is what Obama thinks of your daughters. This is Obama’s official campaign ad. Paid for with his campaign money. Distributed by his campaign. If this ad were any more demeaning to women – who apparently care only about having sex, if you listen to Lena “You Want To Do It” Dunham — it would be produced by Bill Maher and star Bill Clinton.

Oh, wait. That’s Obama’s actual campaign.

Here, have some twats!

MandingoBoogity boogity boo

Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeen!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"

    • Barbara_

      And hopefully, staying for some pancakes, if ya know what I mean.

      Jeff had a business trip to Vegas 2 nights ago and as his plane was taking off Air Force One was landing. I hear that Barack Obama popped into the employee cafeteria at the Bellagio and surprised the people there. I love this guy!

      • James Michael Curley

        It would really surprise the Bellagio employees is if Steve Wynn popped in.

        • Negropolis

          The only reason he'd ever pop in is to tell them that they are fired.

    • Antispandex

      Cumming AT dinner?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Cumming is dinner?

    • sullivanst

      The President Re-elect, judging by the stench of desperation on RS et al.

    • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant
    • Douché

      Natty Black Man?

  • Barbara_

    Barack, I'll save you some time and wait for you by the curb outside.

  • One_who_wanders

    I love it when the theocrats get all lathered up by sexuality.

    • miss_grundy

      Why are these people such assholes? Aren't the red states the top consumers of pornography in America? Geez, they are like Roman Catholics, reading sex into everything.

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      I'm sorry, but that ad was weird. I mean, it would be fine if some supporter had loaded it onto YouTube, but as an official Obama ad?

      Why in the world would the Obama people deliberately use sexual innuendo and a very young woman to make whatever point they're trying to make (that young women are shallow and silly?). It's just weird. And it seems to me it's going to rub a lot of people the wrong way. Why do it? Are the Obama people tired of listening to the people on the news shows talk about Richard Mourdock and God's rape babies? They wanted to give the journos something new to talk about?

      • Negropolis

        Troll is trolling.

        Sorry.

        • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

          What does that mean, exactly? Does it mean you think I'm pretending to have an opinion I don't have. Or that I'm trying to start a fight? Or that I'm a secret right-wing provocateur or something?

          All you have to do is click on my icon to see none of those things are true.

          Or is it just your cute way of dismissing my argument?

          It just seems like a stupid thing for them to do. It implies some things about how Obama views himself and his relationship with female voters that some might find a little creepy and others might find a little condescending. These doting "I'm a hot chick who thinks Mr. Candidate is hot" videos are fine when they're spontaneous expressions from some supporter on YouTube, but you don't copy that format as an official campaign argument. It's kind of like sending yourself a sexy valentine.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            No I recognize you MaxU and have enjoyed your comments for some time here… My own misgivings about the ad's premise are with the flawed analogy of "first time" which I feel should have nothing to do with 'opportunism' per se; and the "right time" can fall along a quite vast array of timelines for many different kinds of women (speaking in terms of having worked w/ young women in youth groups and tutoring and I'm not keen on making light of the pressures) —
            So but that's just to chime in you aren't the only one expressing qualms about the ad. I'm not sure why the 'troll' word got used against you, perhaps and I'm just guessing since I haven't mastered contexts for the word's deployment myself, but maybe was b/c you inserted your contrasting opinion as a reply rather than a stand-alone comment? Anyway.

  • Tom

    Wait.. her last name is Dunham. Barry's mom's last name was Dunham. Another Breitbart "vetting" in 3, 2, 1…

    • MacRaith

      Yes, she's actually Obama's half-sister. So by implying that they're having incestuous sex, the Obama campaign is blatantly trying to put West Virginia back in play.

    • OneYieldRegular

      But of course. She's Ann Dunham's secret granddaughter, from Kendonesia.

      • PugglesRule

        She's Barack's 22nd cousin 400 times removed, whose (insert number)grandparents who came over from England were also Barack's (insert number)grandparents.

      • Negropolis

        Kendonesia. I'm going to have to remember that one.

  • Callyson

    "It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute!"

    Seriously, that seems to be the fallback line for the Reeps whenever they see a strong woman stand up against them.

    Today, we are all sluts and prostitutes…

    • fatbob54

      Can I be a slut too?

      • Negropolis

        Yes, but there are auditions, first.

        • MozakiBlocks

          Do tell.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Tell me more about the sluts and prostitutes.

    • sullivanst

      Let's march.

    • Lazy Media

      Lord knows, I am. A slut, anyway. I keep asking for money, but nothin'.

    • memzilla

      "First they came for the sluts, and I said nothing because…" etc.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I ride the SLUT.

      (And you can too, if you visit Seattle.)

    • Detesticle

      Ohh, Reeps. I like that one. Everyone keeps trying to coin a Republican shorthand — Rethugs etc. Maybe the Reapers? … I dunno. The quest continues, probably. We need an X Prize for renaming the Republicans up in here.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Rape-ublicans?

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Zing!

    • miss_grundy

      I saw a volunteer from the Obama campaign wearing a "Sluts Vote" button and he was wearing it on behalf of his daughter and granddaughter.

    • Biff

      Pleased to meetcha!

    • The Professor

      Good lord, I'm a slut and a prostitute!?
      And for 134 years I've always thought that I was a male…

    • viennawoods13

      Well, if you insist…..

  • HRH_Maddie

    Seriously? THIS they clutch their pearls for? I find a dude running for the senate that says rape babies are gods will a whole lot more offensive. Also that asshole who said "some girls rape easy."

    • zumpie

      And the turkey faced pissy old grandma man who says that of course a blah is gonna back up a blah Evil Kenyan Muslin Usurper

    • teebob2000

      Now, now, not to get all technical-like on ya, he was only quotin' advice from his pappy to watch fer them easy-rapin' gals!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Cherchez la femme!!!

    • mavenmaven

      Actually, in their minds, its "natural" when a man forces sex upon a woman, but the idea that a woman might want sex on her own terms makes her a "slut".

      • HRH_Maddie

        As Clayton Williams said re: rape: "If it's inevitable, just relax and enjoy it" – Words to live by.

        • mbatch

          Geez I miss Ann Richards (and Molly Ivins too also).

  • hagajim

    Gee, I didn't hear a single thing about sex anywhere in that ad. I just got that this chick thought the first time you did it (voted) you should do it for someone who actually knows that rape is rape and not an act of God. Fucktards each and every one of them. And John Nolte, there's a special place in r*tar* hell for you.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Happy Halloweeeeeeeeeen!

    What Would JesusWeen Do?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      What would Ween do?

  • Allmighty_Manos

    I don't know but I'm getting a "John Nolan is fapping to this Lena Dunham video" vibe.

    • Esteev

      He can join the club.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I got a John Nolte is fapping to Obama's "blossoming" daughters vibe. And then threw up and felt stabby all at once.

  • docterry6973

    But what does John Nolte think?

    • Gleem McShineys

      Pretty sure you misspelled 'drink'

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Which of course is: Absinthe on meth rocks, with a splash of LSD 25.

  • SoBeach

    Putin had a very similar commercial. Not sure what that means…

    • Nostrildamus

      Socialists think alike?

    • Negropolis

      Yet, somehow, Putin's ad came off incredibly creepy, where this is obviously tongue-in-cheek.

      In Soviet Russia, president sexes YOU!

  • Disassembly

    But it's cool when Reagan makes the same joke: http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/10/lena-du

    • BadKitty904

      Racist Hypocrites are hypocritical. And racist.

    • http://bluemonkeh.blogspot.com/ BlueMonkeh

      thas diffrunt…

    • Disassembly

      “I know what it’s like to pull the Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself, and I can tell you it only hurts for a minute and then it feels just great.”

      • Studebaker Hawk

        Sounds more like something Nancy Reagan would say…

    • Esteev

      It was also cool to raise taxes almost a dozen times. But, Reagan.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I have to say that it sounds a whole hell of a lot creepier coming from Reagan than it does from the young Dem hottie.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      So Reagan was a Muslim?

    • Gleem McShineys

      Keep pulling that lever, Republicans.

    • http://italkyoubored.wordpress.com/ ffredpalakon

      Well, now that we've come across this piece of deeply disturbing, incredibly offensive humor, calm-minded individuals everywhere can now agree: Ronald Reagan was the Zodiac killer.

    • Negropolis

      Wait, so Reagan was a Hollywood homosexual?!

      • Disassembly

        Hey, I disassemble that remark.

    • arihaya

      When will you stupid liberal understand: only old white men are allowed to make joke about sex/rape/lady parts.

      Women themselves are verboten !

  • BaldarTFlagass

    WTF are those old white guys griping about? They all wanted to have sex with Sarah Palin. Sauce for goose, sauce for gander.

    • Esteev

      Not all of them are old. Ben Shaprio can't be much older than 13 — and I assume that from his writing, not his boyish looks.

  • Boojum

    These are people who think rape jokes are funny.

    • commiegirl99

      Where is that marvelous ape?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      God intends for rape jokes to be funny.

      • Esteev

        George Carlin approves of this message.

  • docterry6973

    Mandingo! I swear these wingers and their faux outrage are so tiresome. Just imagine their outrage if Romney promised to resume torture. Oh, wait…

  • JustPixelz

    Voting is free (except for the cost of getting documents to get a voter ID). Another government freebee.

    (My first time was with McGovern.)

    • docterry6973

      Mine too, and the bastard never even called me again.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Not even a thank-you note, I bet!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Same. Missed Tricky Dick & Hubert the Happy Warrior by 6 months.

      • Lot_49

        Ha ha: first ever vote and I was already in Veet-Nahm. Got to vote for McGovern and a straight Communist Party ticket in my home state, just to be "ironic."

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          My first serious campaign work was for George, working in rural southern Illinois as a Vietnam vet for McGovern. That really confused a lot of rednecks in those parts. Good times…

    • http://bluemonkeh.blogspot.com/ BlueMonkeh

      Luck-ay! My first time was with Mondale. :(

      • HELisforHEL

        Mondale, too-had some asshole Reagan shitheels scratch up my car sticker at the time (not understanding that I could just easily replace it), because, well, Reagan.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      John Anderson, 1980. I was a young Republican idiot back then, but I was still smart enough to hate Ronald Reagan.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      My first time was with the Big Dog in '92. Pulled Slick Willie's lever so hard my hand cramped.

    • Negropolis

      My first time was with John Kerry. God that felt awful. But, I'd fooled around with Dean in the primary, so that kind of made up for it.

      So, it kind of depends on what the defintion of is is.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I think that ad was filmed on O'Keefe's dildo boat.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Someone get that young lady some aspirin.

    • Esteev

      And a cigarette.

  • glamourdammerung

    Some clown that literally called a Supreme Court Justice a "goatfucking child molester" for disagreeing with them is whining about morality?

    Is there a punchline missing somewhere?

    • BadKitty904

      Yes.

    • http://bluemonkeh.blogspot.com/ BlueMonkeh

      nope…just an assclown that needs to be punched

    • Esteev

      He's also on TeeVee often for his "opinion".

  • Texan_Bulldog

    If this was a pro Mittens ad, this would be hailed as the cleverest ad ever. Don't worry, Mittens. You got the all important Meat Loaf endorsement–you'll be fine.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, two out three ain't bad.

      • docterry6973

        Isn't Paradise by the Dashboard Light really a hymn of praise? Not like this filthy Obama stuff.

    • miss_grundy

      Gah, what is it with these cracker ex-musicians? Meat Loaf and Ted Nugent line themselves with Rmoney and here in Detroit, it's Kid Rock, who is probably best known for marrying Pamela Anderson for about five minutes.

    • doloras

      You took the words right out of my mouth.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        It musta been while I was kissin' you.

  • http://kittenbomb.wordpress.com kittenbomb

    John Nolte says "How could a president with two young, blossoming daughters release an ad as disgusting as this?"

    Then he had to have some "alone" time.

    • kittensdontlie

      The 'blossoming' remark sent my creep meter into overload.

      • One_who_wanders

        The little needle wrapped right around the peg.

    • MissTaken

      Pedobear keeps knocking on my door thanks to that tweet.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Assume bear Nolte.

    • rickmaci

      Yah. He went a little thomasjefferson with that line.

    • HELisforHEL

      Yeah, unless they're discussing horticulture, anyone using 'blossoming' gives me pause.

      • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

        You can lead a right-wing cretin to culture, but you can't make it think.

  • Hammiepants

    I do not understand their interpretation of sex. I would hate to live in that world. All snark aside, they just don't get it. These people scare the shit out of me. They condense all their fear of women, gay people, and non-procreative sex in general into something really ugly and twisted. I would feel worse for them if they weren't such hateful assweasels.

    • HELisforHEL

      They're hateful assweasels because of the reasons you've listed. They really need to calm down, untwist their panties (magic or not) and have a little fun.

    • finallyhappy

      Hateful Assweasels- another name to consider for my future dance troupe made up of other seniors from my exercise class(and no, I don't mean 12th graders or college kids)

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Sarah Palin just had an orgasm!

  • Detesticle

    I watched this porn. At first, I was interested, then more interested, then MORE Interested … then suddenly I lost interest. (Old SNL joke.)

    • emmelemm

      Hee! I remember that one.

  • Antispandex

    Oh! It was about VOTING….what a jip! I was soooo in the mood for some porno…I mean adult movie entertainment. So, voting. Well, I'm probably the only person in the world who thought that was the point of it. Filthy lib slut! (Call me)

  • UW8316154

    this is what happens when you assume deer dead.

  • widestanceromance

    Dear Wonkette,

    I find this photo IMPOSSIBLE not to fap to, but I'm at work. What should I do?

    Hard at Work and Hardly Working

    • emmelemm

      Iknowright? A NSFW would have been nice.

      Seriously, that PHOTO.

      • widestanceromance

        My jungle fever has flared up somethin' fierce.

    • jodyleek

      Have you never fapped at work? I'm an old woman and even I've fapped at work.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        No kidding. Throughout my professional career, whenever I changed jobs, I knew I was finally comfortable with my new position when I was able to jerk off in the handicapped stall.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          "was finally comfortable with my new position"

          Are there alternate positions for fapping? I only know one. But, I grew up rural.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            What, you didn't have access to the Kama Faptra? That's too bad.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Baldar, don't you work for the government?

      • widestanceromance

        Only when I was hourly paid, working a holiday and getting double time and a half for each stroke. I don't come cheaply.*

        *the client I billed my time to was The World Bank

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Do you work near heavy machinery?

      • widestanceromance

        Just my own!

        • BadKitty904

          Yoicks!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          LOL comeback of the afternoon.

          • Gleem McShineys

            Wait, whose back?

          • widestanceromance

            heh, heh You said 'comeback.'

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    Why yes, Alex Marlow, Barack can come from behind. Most men can.

    • BadKitty904

      Thank God.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Eh…he's not really "behind" outside of Rasmussen polls anyway. The funny part is going to see the bitter cries of "he stole'd that elecshun!" the day after Bamz takes that fatheaded-tax evader out and puts us out of his misery. The wingnut cries will be EPIC….right now I feel a bit like Cartman waiting for Scott Tenerman to taste his chili with these dickheads…

    • phillipmarlowe2terry

      MAybe Alex wants someone to come on his behind, without him being gay.

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    Lena Dunham was 18 when John Kerry ran for prez. I bet he regrets not being her first.

  • Ryan

    At least when Obama rapes her, she'll be forced to keep the baby

  • badseeds

    Uh huh huh . . . Alex said "come from behind."

    • Gleem McShineys

      This is good news for Rick Santorum?

  • FNMA

    I guess some people think "Blazing Saddles" was a documentary.

    • Esteev

      Also, The Ten Commandments and Red Dawn.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Clinton took my cherry in 1996.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Reagan for me, 1980. I've gotten much better since then.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Clinton, 1992. And damn he was good. Kinda ruined me for other candidates.

        • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Dukakis in '88. Not all first times are that good.

          • PhilippePetain

            Al Gore in 2000. It was a little awkward and clammy.

    • MissTaken

      Me too, and since then I've given it away to Gore, Kerry, Obama, and Obama. I'm very loose with my votes.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Poll dancer!

        • Esteev

          Bravo!

          *tosses singles*

      • Jus_Wonderin

        MT, I don't think giving it away at four year intervals is loose. You are very discriminating with your votes.

        • MissTaken

          I didn't list off all the state and locals that have tasted my votes, too. I even gave it up to Governor Moonbeam Jerry Brown from Singapore in 2010.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Trollop!!!

          • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            And think about it, a California initiative, you need 504,760 signatures. A Constitutional Amendment requires 807,615. So every time you vote for one, think of how many other people you are giving it up to.

          • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

            My first time was not that memorable, the guy it was with was kinda boring, but the main highlight from back then was hooking up with Bob Casey to make Rick Santorum jealous.

    • cousinitt

      I'll always remember walking into the dark booth and pulling the dark gray, stained curtain around me. Sitting on the barstool, I gently caressed the pale gray knob of the handsomely graying candidate. I pulled, he clicked. His name was Gene, Clean Gene, they called him and I was one very satisfied 18 year old, now a man.

    • Geminisunmars

      I'm so old I can't recall who was my first.

      • finallyhappy

        My first vote was a protest vote for Thatcher Longstreth for mayor(A REPUBLICAN) against Frank Rizzo the fascist Dem mayor of Philly.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        My first presidential roll in the hay was with JFK. Ah, we were young and foolish. The world was our apple and we were so much in love. Stars were brighter and the moon had that romantic glow of fulfillment, release, and an unbound future.

        And then fucking Oswald came between us–came between us all.

  • Buzz Feedback

    In the spirit of Cocktober, I nominate Dracula Cunt to star in the GOP response ad.

    Only the old-timers may understand.

    • http://bluemonkeh.blogspot.com/ BlueMonkeh

      wow – whatever happened to that witch?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      who you calling old?

  • CrunchyKnee

    So, this John is Nick's younger and dumber brother?

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      More like a tumor some doctor removed from Nick Nolte and tossed into the garbage than anything else…

  • SexySmurf

    Humor is like pussy: John Nolte gets neither.

    Also, am I the only person who noticed his avatar is Al Bundy?

    • FNMA

      Actually, Ted Bundy would be more appropriate.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Which is hilarious because Ed O'Neill AND Al Bundy are both Democrats. I read that for the '92 election O'Neill actually donned his Bundy character to cut an ad supporting Bill Clinton. Which would make John Nolte a complete moron for using that as his avatar. Maybe he should pick something a little more his speed…like Kirk Cameron stroking a banana while Roy Comfort looks on lustily and approvingly.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    These complaining bloggers need a good deflowering. Don’t look at me. I’m not their type.

  • Fairtackle

    Ewww, John Nolte is way creepier than that add, with his "blossoming daughters" talk. Does he write descriptions for the Joy Book?

  • Cheburashka64

    The only thing I find creepy in this whole thing is the John Nolte tweet about Obama's "two young, blossoming daughters." THAT was seriously gross.

    • Esteev

      Yes, sadly the world "pollinate" comes to mind and I DO NOT WANT. What a creepy bastard.

    • BadKitty904

      I know, right? There's a definite "Ol' Massa Paedobear" vibe goin on there.

      Cue "Molasses to Rum to Slaves"…

    • PugglesRule

      Dear John Nolte, please stop ogling my daughters or the Secret Service might need to visit you. Sincerely, Barack H. STP (Still the President) Obama

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yeah…that's 'Lolita' speak right there…Bamz keep Sasha and Malia far, far away…also anyone in DC: if you have a pre-teen daughter and John Nolte offers her candy be afraid, be very afraid…

  • gullywompr

    Relax nutters, it's just a gift that God intended.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    The Big O is going to violate these prudes… With Votes!

  • emmelemm

    Obligatory: Chiffarobe!

    • Negropolis

      see also: bustin' up

  • Antispandex

    BTW, that first comment by Nolte about "young blossuming daughters"? Um, he might just qualify as one of what my young granddaughters calls a "creeperson". I'm going to go ask.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Fear of a big black vote

  • SideshowSlob

    "raised in a wealthy, over-sexualized household"

    my god, she's lucky to be alive.

    • One_who_wanders

      We all have burdens to carry.

    • http://mwittier.tumblr.com/ mwittier

      We should kill her to protect her.

  • gullywompr

    It's twue! It's twue!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Ya wanna stop sucking on my arm, Miss Von Shtupp?"

  • belmontreport

    I love that in this situation, Obama is an adult man, but apparently 26-year-old Lena Dunham is a child? How sexist of Obama to make these men talk about an adult woman as though she's a child that can't make decisions on her own! He should be ashamed of himself!

    • PhilippePetain

      Right, because 26 year old women never speak about sex in a ribald manner. They must be saved from this corrupting influence!

    • miss_grundy

      In their world, in 1865, a woman cannot think for herself nor can she make any decisions for herself. She is merely chattel. That is what these fucktards want to take us back to because having women think for themselves make them feel less like men. And they cannot have that.

  • BadKitty904

    Because it has to be said:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGQ-ISsDm8M

    *with a nod to Lascauxcaveman*

    • Lascauxcaveman

      How did you know I'm actually Mel Brooks?

  • Mojopo

    I LOVE her! Lena has a really good lock on things for someone her age. I expect her to be around for a long time. Funny, quirky ad. Love.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Possibly coming on wingnut's daughters – sounds like my college days.

    • BadKitty904

      Sarah Palin's, also, too.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    All right, listen to me. In a few hours, she'll probably be sane enough to work herself into some kind of towering Jesus-based rage at the hazy recollection of being seduced by some kind of cruel Kenyan who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member vote.

  • Lazy Media

    She just recorded that because he buss'ed up a chiffarobe for her.

    • BlueStateLibel

      That novel and movie was the only good thing to come out of the South ever.

      • BadKitty904

        *koff* Eudora Welty *koff*

      • Lascauxcaveman

        *koff* Cajun food *koff*

      • Veritas78

        *koff* Kudzu *koff*

      • Negropolis

        Flannery libel!

  • magic_titty

    Barack Obama wants to shuck your teenage daughter and jive all over her.

  • editor

    how charmingly victorian. to think that an ad about voting is really about sexing the president is rather like covering up the table legs lest they give anyone lascivious thoughts.

    having said that, is there anyone who would prefer naked time with romney over the potus? yeah, didn't think so.

    • PugglesRule

      naked time with romney

      Aargh, I can't ever un-see those words. Ih ih ih ih ih

    • Gleem McShineys

      prefer naked time with romney

      Great. Thank you very much. Now what am I going to do?
      Do they even make crutches for penises?

      • HELisforHEL

        HAHAHA

      • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

        Don't blame me, you asked.

  • Generation[redacted]

    The Joy of Voting

  • ingloriousbytch

    The only kind of sex that the wingnuts want to acknowledge is the kind that makes those precious rape babies.

  • Katydid

    I'd hit that scrumptious yum of man-meat. Wait, what were we talking about?

  • LIT_Fag

    If it had been a white dude, though, they' be
    fapping furiously instead of rolling their eyes
    at the thought of hot black prez on white boy
    action.

    Excuse me…..

  • Katydid

    Who the FUCK is John Nolte?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Nick's dopey little brother?

    • Dr. Matt

      Someone apparently obsessed with this video.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    True story: my son went to college with Lena Dunham. Therefore I want to know why he isn't also rich, famous, and doing it with Barack Obama.

  • Esteev

    CLUTCHING MY PEARL NECKLACE

  • Not_So_Much

    Nick Nolte's younger, more dickish brother John is waaaaay less talented.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Falls down in horror after watching actually amusing, non-offensive ad.

  • Poindexter718

    And introducing Erick Erickson as Bob Ewell:
    "I seen that black n****r yonder ruttin' on my Lena!"

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    And not a word from any of those critics about how if Lena's 26 it shouldn't be her first time? Somehow I'm not surprised.

    • finallyhappy

      Her first time was the last election

  • EatFrankRich

    Can we gals help it if voting is a pleasure? http://youtu.be/pDGXMsmjYcE

    • Geminisunmars

      I'll vote what she's voting…

      • EatFrankRich

        That's the Socialist ticket she's got there.
        European socialism I hear is WAY worse than even the Kenyan kind.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Imma just leave this here.

    (and yes, it's SFW, you ninnies!)

  • ElPinche

    This stuff doesn't even phase me anymore. Ok, we get it. Obama is a pimp. Add that to the pile of conservative BS against Barry.

    But why doesn't John Nolte use his own face in his twatter avatar like everyone else? Because his face looks like creampied cunt.

  • Abernathy

    Anyone else see a theme in John Nolte's twittergasm? "Blossoming," "blow," " going to be too big." He's obsessed with votes!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Everything you wanted to know about voting*

    *but were afraid to ask.

  • finette_

    So many unintentional sex metaphors in that collection of Twitters! The id will get you in the end.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    This John Nolte seems fixated on handsome black men having sex with young white girls.

    • BadKitty904

      Me, too. Except for the "girls" part. But still…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        He has his fantasies of being a woman, of course.

  • mavenmaven

    As TPM points out, Reagan already made that joke before this woman was even born:

    On Thursday night, at a working class bar in Bayonne, N.J., Reagan said, “I know what it’s like to pull the Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself, and I can tell you it only hurts for a minute and then it feels just great.”

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    They care about Obama's daughters now? Where was their concern when McCain was trying to push his "trollop" wife off the edge of the stage at Sturgis?!

  • poorgradstudent

    Oh for fuck's sake, I've seen innuendos in G-rated Disney films that were racier.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Sexual innuendos in Disney movies? *clutches bosom, staggers backwards*

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Disney hell.

        "Ward…weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night?"

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Fucking Nemo?

      • finallyhappy

        CLownfish change sex. When Nemo's mom died, his dad, Marlon, as head of their group(ok, there was no group but a lot of the movie was fucked up) would have become female because the female is the leader of each clownfish group- a mature male is second in command. When the mature female dies, the mature male becomes female and the leader.

        • Zango Crudmonger

          Now that is sexy talk. Rawr.

  • sullivanst

    Gotta love all the men telling the women they should be offended. I always find the best way to convince women I'm a true friend of the ladyfolk is by telling them what to think.

  • owhatever

    Some day this slut will be begging for a trans-vaginal probe after having a legitimate rape sanctioned by God and we won't give it to her.

  • shelwood46

    Republicans believe women shouldn't vote before marriage.

    • Geminisunmars

      Republicans believe women shouldn't vote.

      FIFY

    • An_Outhouse

      and only vote for who their husband tells them too (my wife ran for county legislator and met some of these).

      • Generation[redacted]

        If we just get government out of the way, husbands can use the power of the free market to ensure their wimmens vote the right way.

    • Negropolis

      This.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Is that photo the "vetting" the Wingnuts keep crying and pleading for?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Your move, Ken Norton.

    • Geminisunmars

      Vet me. Oh, vet me. Vet me harder…

    • viennawoods13

      I'll cry and plead, if that's what it takes. Yum.

  • Esteev

    I hope no one laughs at me if I vote early…

    • Negropolis

      Don't feel bad. It's happened to us all.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Once you vote Black, you never go back.

  • Joey_Blau

    wait… what part of that was about sex?

  • LibertyLover

    I would be pleased for my daughter to vote for the first time for Barack Obama, but she won't turn 18 until March. Obviously, I didn't plan that pregnancy out very well.

    • finallyhappy

      unlike Obama's mom who planned everything including the fake newspaper announcements in Hawaiin papers and his childhood meetings with Saul Alinsky(because she know Saul would die when Barack was 10)

      • LibertyLover

        Clearly, she was a long term planner. I, on the other hand, am just a woman whose hormones got the better of her.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      My daughter is just a few months younger than yours, but still a little too close to her Catholic education (single political issue: abortion) to be trusted at the ballot box. Hopefully a few years of college will give her a broader view.

  • Wadisay

    So, where is the tagline at the end that says, "I'm Barack Obama, and I approved this desecration of all that's holy, savage penetration of white women, crime against humanity."?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Some wingtards butthurt so easy.

  • Gleem McShineys

    Predictable overreaction by wingnuts to white girl making suggestions about losing virginity to a black man just shows all of you liberals that YOU'RE THE REAL RACISTS.

  • Dr. Matt

    Are the teabagintards really having a hissy about this ad? Reeeeeeaaalllllyyyyy?

    • glamourdammerung

      Yes. I have already dealt with a couple crying about this ad.

  • TribecaMike

    Is John Nolte Nick's drunk driving alias?

    • Biff

      God. Damnit.

  • Biff

    Lena Dunham. Ann Dunham.

    Coincidence? I think not.

    • Dr. Matt

      And they are both white!!?!?!? Call Teh Blaze!!!!

    • Negropolis

      To the Beckian chalkboards, post haste!

  • Biff

    And I thought Nick was the crazy Nolte…

  • Willardbot9000_V2.5

    I'm calling it now….10:1 at least ONE of these wingnuts will wind up in a perp walk for either child porn or taking part in a child sex ring. My money is on Nolte, he seems like the Jerry Sandusky of girl molesters…ya know, catholic, conservative what have you.

  • An_Outhouse

    okay, I finally watched the ad. What the fucking hell are these wing nuts complaining about? Jesus H. Christ!

  • MiniMencken

    This is a redo of a pro-Putin election ad that ran on Russian state television this past winter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Noo0lzJILaM

  • Cheburashka64

    I really hope this voting is like sex thing doesn't catch on, because I voted two weeks ago.
    Talk about pre-mature…

  • Generation[redacted]

    Obama just lost the womens vote. It was bad enough providing birth control coverage and equal pay. He somehow weasled through not defending rapists' parental rights. He could even survive his lack of vaginal probes. BUT, allowing a 20-something woman to speak in a sexually suggestive manner? Surely this is the last straw for the morally upright wimmenfolk of Real Ameruka.

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Aw. shucks. What a charming little video.

    The wingnut responses, not so much.

  • rickmaci

    Must be something in the female Dunham genome?

  • HELisforHEL

    Seriously, the ad is cute and not some oversteamed walk through Sexytime Park.
    Gah fucking republicans.
    As a TPM poster wrote, and worthy of a quote here:

    The best stimulus program would be to increase domestic manufacturing of fainting couches for Republicans.
    -Thomas Bailey

  • DahBoner

    cheap, last minute effort

    Every Republican knows 4 Diamond girls are not cheap!

    And you must book in advance…

  • mustangsavvy

    I have to be honest, I wasn't even paying attention to the rest of this article after the HAWT PIXX of the black dude. Yowza. Thanks My Wonkette for a Friday arvo pick-me-up! No, really, Sexxy Hawt Black Man – pick me up!

  • arihaya

    In Nolte's defense, even the gayest gay in the Castro will choose Obama's daughters over any of Mitt's Statford sons

  • Walkinwiddaking

    On the bright side Mandingo is a more positive name than Obama. Don'cha think?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Dr_pangloss

    Conservatrives, still pissed off that liberals get more and better looking ass than they do. And we don't have to pay. I'm looking at you Diaperman!

  • Negropolis

    How dare a woman think she has control of her own sexuality! That's her father's responsibility!

  • Negropolis

    Two young, blossoming daughters

    Nolte, stop being a fucking perv. Project much, you sick bastard?

  • lulzmonger

    Lena Dunham = WIN
    Virgin Ben & Co. = FOREVER ALONE

    That is all.

  • kateinmt

    WTF is John Nolte? And why do we care?

  • Attila_T_Hun

    "Dunham, who was raised in a wealthy, over-sexualized household and who started therapy at age 7" attended Oberlin College in Ohio, the most important swing state.
    Oberlin College is also wealthy and over-sexualized.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, I'm glad to see one of the Dunhams is funny; her brother Jeff (and his idiotic puppets) sure as Hell isn't. BTW, do you ever imagine the Rightards will figure out that "pearl clutching" is unattractive on both men and women, but especially on men?

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Republicans are just anti-sex. At least, they are opposed to women having it.

  • http://www.marionstein.net Ground Zero Mostel

    The same people who don't see race when the dog whistle is loud enough to wake Lassie from the dead, see sexy time and race-mixing in this harmless add?

  • Thunderclees

    Small correction: Lena Dunham is terrible and Girls is not funny.

    Carry on.