that's what I call the long arm of coincidence!

Watch Ann Dunham Give Birth To Two-Year-Old Toddler Barack Obama In Kenya (Video)

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

The birth of history's greatest monsterSorry, Barack Nobummer, but the SECRET is OUT. Vice has been approached by some super-not-shady Romanian who totally exists and who transferred to video this Super 8 film (which was invented in 1965) shot by Barack Obama’s fake father, Barack Obama Sr., of you as a giant two-year-old baby being born in Kenya. (In 1961, people were always totally filming vaginal births, on their uninvented Super 8.) But there are some who might unaccountably STILL try to “debunk” this obvious proof with stupid questions, like why do you weigh 23 pounds and came out of your mom’s vagina with your eyes open, holding your head up and looking around, reading at a second-grade level and riding a bike? The Romanian explains it is because Kenyan babies are just gigantic, everyone knows that, but is it because you are actually Damian and Rosemary’s Baby and stuff? (PROBABLY.) And why is your mom, Ann Dunham, listed as “Ann Dunham” in her hospital chart (with helpful yearbook photo!) instead of Ann Obama? Was 1961 Kenya super-feminist and we did not know about it? That would be cool. Totally real Kenyan birth video, after the jump!

Sorry dude, but now you are inpeached.

[VICE]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    So what? Mitt was born with a silver foot in his mouth.*

    *Apologies to Anne Richards.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Mitt was born with a silver foot in his mouth up his ass.

      FTFY.

      • sullivanst

        It seems I was far from the first to reach the conclusion he was in need of a good asskicking.

      • UnholyMoses

        Mitt was born with a silver foot head in his mouth up his ass.

        Fixorated for even more fixedness!

    • Callyson

      Anne Richards approves this message.

      (Gawd, I have been following the ads way too closely, and I don't even live in a swing state…)

  • tbogg

    MY GAWD! Exactly how many white vaginas has that man been in?

    • Oblios_Cap

      He certainly seems to have learned his way around one at a very early age!

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …I guess more than Mittens has been in!

    • gullywompr

      In terms of fantasizing… AOTK.

    • Trinket

      Unfortunately not mine…YET.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Hang in there. Michelle will probably divorce the loser if Romney squeaks by with a victory. Like when he lost that congressional race.

    • Goonemeritus

      He was certainly all up in Mitt’s during the last debate.

  • BadKitty904

    Dang. Wtf? I mean, seriously. WTF?

    • Tommy1733

      I know what you mean – this video really shows us the miracle of birth. "And I think to myself – what a wonderful world".

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      I can't stop laughing. Funniest goddamn thing I've seen in so long. Oh, thank you Wonkette. I needed this.

  • http://wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Seems legit. Especially with the convenient Kenyan flag at the end.

    Wait, WUT? That flag wasn't adopted until 2 years after BHO was born? And the flag in effect in 1961 was a British Blue Ensign?

    Obama the time-traveler rides again!

    • Geminisunmars

      What you didn't notice the flag pin the good doc was wearing? At about :43. All good doctors wear flag pins, dontcha know. La Proof.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …this video is obviously fake, because we all know Barack HUSSEIN Obama was delivered In a Mosque by the Ayatollah himself!!!

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Clearly Obama's father was such an anti-colonialist that he insisted on a Free Kenyan Flag even before it was invented.

      It is what Nostradamus said would happen.

    • Terry

      But did the flag have FRINGE on it? That's the important question.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      Reading Weigel's column yesterday, he also pointed out that the whole "Transferred from Super8 film" thing is bogus too – Super8 film was invented years later. But if it weren't for that and the flag thing, this would be a startlingly good fake!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I bet The Onion is sorry they didn't think of this one first. They certainly could have done a better (and funnier) job of it.

      • nilbud

        That word doesn't mean what you think it does.

    • Crank_Tango

      Well that would line up with the 2 year old baby being born there.

  • An_Outhouse

    Its hard to say conclusively. All those black babies look the same.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I was about to say the same thing, but without the "black" part. The white babies all look like Churchill, the black babies look like George Foreman.

      • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Maybe all the black babies are George Foreman. That is why he called them George.

        • James Michael Curley

          What is up to about five sons named George now and a couple cheesey kitchen appliances?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Next video in series takes place hours later and captures Kenyan child beating Paul Ryan in a marathon.

    • BadKitty904

      Then the following day, capturing Kenyan child beating Donald Trump at soccer.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Trump's childhood sport was Short-Fingered Candy Swiping.

  • Pookums

    Kenyan babies are bigger and have more 'fast-twitch' muscles. This explains the fact that they are constantly winning marathons and presidential elections.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      No, no, it's us descendants of West Africans who have the fast-twitch fibers, which aren't useful for distance running. Get your folk science explanations of White Sports Fail straight!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Jimmy the Greek… you magnificent bastard, *I read your book*!

  • Lazy Media

    I'm pretty sure that 1961 Kenyan fathers weren't in the delivery room filming giant babies emerging from their concubine's hoo-has. They were in the waiting room, pacing and chewing qat.

    • Lazy Media

      Srsly, I was born in 1962, and my dad was off coaching a basketball game during the delivery. This whole having the father in the delivery room thing started in the '70s and filming the birth in the '80s.

      • Terry

        My father was in the waiting room for both my and my sister's births in the early 60's. When my sister was in labor, the nurse suggested that Dad stay in the room for the delivery. He looked like someone was trying to throw scalding water on him and he almost ran to the waiting room.

        It's a generational thing. A father in the early 60's wouldn't be in the delivery room and if, for some reason he was, he would NOT be filming it.

        • Geminisunmars

          My husband was present for 2 of his 3 sons' births in the 50s and early 60s. Voluntarily, although much to the staff's annoyance. But he wasn't filming.

          • Terry

            I'm sitting here trying to imagine what my mother would have said if my father tried to aim a movie camera at her hoo-haw. I expect that her language would have made several sailors blush.

          • HELisforHEL

            I know! I cannot imagine the salt that would have been thrown my dad's way.
            Some people have too much time on their hands, but not enough talent.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Hell, JFK was off riding Marilyn when he got the doctor's call on John-John's birth! They kind of mistook his elation.

      • TribecaMike

        Some like it hot!

        • Negropolis

          And whore diamonds are a whore's best friend, also. Too.

    • AnAmericanInTO

      My dad was in the room when I was born in 1974. It was such a rarity at the time, the obstetrician thought my dad, wearing scrubs, was an intern. When Dad got light-headed because of blood, that kinda gave it away.

  • Hera Sent Me

    Super 8 film wasn't marketed until 1965.

    • sullivanst

      Details… minor details.

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      Nice try, libtard. Barry's dad had connections to the Nazis who developed an early version this technology.

      • Generation[redacted]

        And filming vaginal births was so taboo, it could only be done with secret technology.

      • Terry

        Actually, Bill Ayers gave Obama Sr the camera.

    • Geminisunmars

      And, besides, he was probably born well after 1961. Since he was born so advanced, he aged a lot earlier too. He's prolly 41 not 51.

      • Oblios_Cap

        No one likes a Mr-Know-I- All.

        • Hera Sent Me

          So that's why I can't get laid. I thought it was because of prejudice against apes.

          • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            John McCain knows someone he can fix you up with.

    • Lazy Media

      Yeah, but regular 8mm home-movie film went on the market in 1932, which proves that this video is 100 percent real, and Barack Obama must be forced out of office at bayonet-point. Wolverines!

      • sullivanst

        You'd think the "lab" that "said" it was "absolutely genuine" might have mentioned that it was not super 8, but the physically incompatible standard 8 format, no?

    • Esteev

      Don't bother me with facts.

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      When it did come out, however, its immediate popularity among Kenyan natives is beyond dispute.

  • NotLloyd

    All facts aside, it has to be the truth; that baby is black!

    • kittensdontlie

      And ruthless, as he ate his white twin in utero.

  • Oblios_Cap

    That can't be Hawaii. There are no pineapples or Hawaiian shirts anywhere to be seen.

    I smell cover-up!

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Amateur. Should've checked with the professionals at Fox. At least they know when it's important to render a scene accurately!

      • HELisforHEL

        They should hire this guy, he's got all the credentials they look for!

  • SorosBot

    It looks about as real as the "History" Channel's shows on ghosts and aliens.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …or that show on Fox News with Meygn Kelly, what's the name of that show again? Oh yeah, THE NEWS!!!

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was more realistic.

  • MissTaken

    I ain't no biologist, but aren't newborn baby head's usually smaller than the momma's head?

    • SoBeach

      I'm no biologist either, but I watched every last SoBaby enter the world. Not only were their heads smaller than their mother's, they were pretty gooey.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I'm no OB/GYN, but don't babies typically come out covered in blood and viscera and not a full head of hair?

      • bobbert

        My first-born came out with way more hair than the pictured kid. Of course, at just over eight pounds, he was also about as big as pictured-kid's head.

      • Arishii

        And vernix caseosa also too.

    • TribecaMike

      Macrocephaly was all the rage in Kenya during the late fifties and early sixties. Case closed.

    • tessiee

      Except for Sean Hannity, yes.

  • http://www.lithappens.com/blog/ Lit Happens

    Man, how did he get his hands on Super-8 four years before it was sold to the public? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_8_mm_film

    • sullivanst

      Same time machine he used to plant the birth announcements in Hawaiian newspapers, of course.

    • MissTaken

      Obviously Kenya was a test market before wider release. Duh!

      • TribecaMike

        Kenyans are not happy at all about being compared to Scottsdale, Arizona. Expect a rain of spears in 3, 2, 1.

    • Mojopo

      Because!!!!!!!!!!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Do you mean "Because shut up!!"?

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          No, the correct response is "Because JESUS."

    • Lazy Media

      Nice try, libtard! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standard_8_mm_film. Case. Closed.

    • TribecaMike

      Ju Ju?

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    God, I fucking hate Instagram…and birthers.

  • gullywompr

    And the Oscar goes to… not this dude.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    like all fathers, Mr. Obama was quite interested in capturing the medical chart, dates, and all the flags in the room.

    • freakishlywrong

      And not the Kenyan flag from 1961. Shitdamn, these people.

      • Redgyal

        Not even an independent country in 1961 so double fail.

        • Generation[redacted]

          Obama, MBE

        • Esteev

          Oh, so you believe that Obama was born in 1961? *Scoffs* Liberals.

      • BadKitty904

        Dude, truly. The average high-school drama class could produce a better fake than this…

        • HELisforHEL

          Except they'd break out into song and ruin the whole con.

  • missannthropethefirst

    OMG! A bloodless and super fast birth of a toddler! He must be the anti-Christ!

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Nice try, where's the birth certificate?

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      This totally reputable Romanian insists there's a shot of the birth certificate in the video as well. THANK GOODNESS THAT'S FINALLY RESOLVED CONCLUSIVELY.

  • widestanceromance

    We're supposed to believe those are Barack's ears? FAIL.

  • arihaya

    Shady Romanian? Isn't Orly Taitz a Moldavian-Russian-Israeli-South Californian ?

    • rickmaci

      Hmmm.

  • GregComlish

    Back in the 60s Kenya made it a priority that all hospital beds in Kenya displayed the national flag of Kenya.

    • BadKitty904

      The *wrong* national flag of Kenya…

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Especially the national flag that wasn't adopted until December 1963.

    • rmjagg

      They call him Vlad for short

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    What a bunch of shuck and jive!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Wait. James O'Keefe is Romanian?

  • a_pink_poodle

    This is totally not fake at all!

    But serious I pray to Lord Jesus almighty that someone actually takes this seriously and toots it around on Fox News. That'll be the funniest thing in the woooooorld. I will quite possibly literally crap my pants and have to throw them out but it'll be so worth it.

  • eastcoastelite

    It's real. You can tell.

  • SorosBot

    It's weird that the Kenyan hospital's documents and calendar are all in English instead of Swahili; huh.

    • sullivanst

      Actually, that part might not be so weird. Legacy of empire and such. The use of Sharpie pen to write her name is completely unsuspicious, though, of coruse.

  • zumpie

    Also, too, also: Dads weren't even in the delivery rooms with moms in 1961, let alone recording something so icky. That helpful Kenyan Flag didn't exist until 1963 (and ditto Super 8 cameras). Oh and the recovered super fast, with no sweat whatsoever (take note, Mittens!) from her delivery of her huge "baby" mom would've more likely been knocked out with Demerol.

    But otherwise, seems totes real to me…..Teh Donald and Orly were right!!!!! Oh the humanity!!!

    • sullivanst

      Good spot with the flag… especially as there's absolutely no chance of confusing it with the old one.

  • http://www.sufficientscruples.com/blog/ kevintkeith

    I love the fact that somebody went to the trouble to make this – and round up a cast of actors to fake it with them.

    • BadKitty904

      I still suspect this is somebody's high-school class project…

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I still suspect this is somebody's high home-school class project…

        FTFY

        • BadKitty904

          Well played, sir. *applauds*

    • sullivanst

      But not to enough trouble to make it in the slightest part even a little credible. Like such as remembering whether you said were given a transfer of the super-8 onto VHS, or whether you have the super-8 in your possession; or bothering to check when super-8 was launched, or the design of the Kenyan flag adopted.

      • Geminisunmars

        Details have a liberal bias.

    • Generation[redacted]

      The actors were told the film would be called "Desert Warrior."

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        hahaha

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    It obviously manipulated — they're playing it in reverse!

  • freakishlywrong

    Has anyone said "oh for Fuck's sake" yet?

    • BadKitty904

      Hasn't Cally trademarked that?

    • sullivanst

      AOTUK.

    • CommieLibunatic

      No, but only because the dumbassery has left me speechless.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Just in time. I've been looking for another vice to kick.

  • Detesticle

    Haha. This is really turning out to be hilarious Republican blooper video day on the Wonktet. I could watch today's videos over and over.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    From Vice: "whether or not it's total bullshit."

    Whether or not???

  • Biff

    Oh for fuck's sake.

  • FakaktaSouth

    One of my, ahem, "black friends" (points and smiles like Colbert) told me that black babies are also born a little lighter in the pigmentation than they are ultimately? I mean, she said it takes a bit for all the melanin to get to flowing I suppose? And Barack isn't as dark as that baby now? Am I crazy and just really white and wrong? Nevermind, this is obviously real.

    • Biff

      How does your "friend" 'splain Michael Jackson, then?

    • SoBeach

      I've seen a few very new babies of all flavors, and they all look a little grey to me. They're not quite done when they come out. Takes a little while for them to look like people.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

        Plus their little heads get all smooshed. That's my favorite part!

    • SunburntCounsel

      This is a ridiculously unsnarky thing to be my first Wonkette comment after lurking for so long, but yes, your friends are correct. It takes a couple weeks, sometimes longer, for babies to come into their colour. My son (who is much darker than the President) was pretty much white when he was born.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      I'm telling you, this is an intentionally bad fake created for lulz at the expense of Konspiracy Klowns.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        If it isn't , it should be.

        • viennawoods13

          There's no way this could have been made as serious attempt at a fake. Really?

    • mayor_quimby

      Very true, many a black child is born looking like Lena Horne, only to darken to a more Oprah-ish shade after a few weeks.

    • ttommyunger

      White? Yup. Wrong, not yet.

    • mnotrtoo

      Also, newborns (except in early 60's Kenya I've just found out) are covered in a white waxy substance called vernix caseosa that helps protect them from germs and stuff. I was amazed by the entire process of both my daughters (disclosure: not Kenyan Muslims, so…) and I'd imagine anyone who's witnessed birth would quickly question many different details of this 4th grade school project film.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the only thing that would make this more ridiculous would be if "baby Barack" had gold teeth and corn rows!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And a big giant clock on a gold chain around his neck.

      • Generation[redacted]

        "Ohhhhhh yeeeeeeeeah…" and then goes into the creepy baby dance.

    • BoroPrimorac

      And a record deal.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Pfff, I like how they were holding the umbilical chord on every time they showed it.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And how it took about a second and a half to cut it, and there was no blood, and they didn't show it anyway.

    • SoBeach

      And I like how they showed it after they "cut" it. Um, in real life the one end of that thing is on the baby, the other on the placenta.

  • Disassembly

    This appears to be proof that Obama was born on The Island.

    • mingey

      Damn it, I should have read the comments before posting. I thought I was SO SMART with my Dharma Initiative joke…

    • Negropolis

      I just KNEW that Joe Biden was the Smoke Monster.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I was particularly impressed that the picture on the chart was the same as the yearbook picture. Obama must have been her graduation present.

    • BadKitty904

      I'm sure it's an old Kenyan tradition…

    • zumpie

      Well I believe Mourdock did say something about "gift from God" recently, didn't he?

    • Lazy Media

      Yes, and I'm impressed that the hospital took a photograph that EXACTLY matched the yearbook picture, sent it off to be developed, and received a print in time to have it on her chart between the time she went into labor and the birth. Kenyan mail service and photo-developers must have been AWESOME back then.

  • SexySmurf

    I don't know what women are always complaining about; childbirth looks incredibly easy. The kid just walks right out, and there's no messy cleanup.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And they're always going on about how painful it is. Slackers.

      • zumpie

        Because moms are part of the 47%. Duh

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      And he is ready to start preschool, so you don't have to worry about taking care of him all day long.

      I think we have been sold a stack of lies by women. Could they all be… secret Muslims?

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …considering that this kid is easily in his 12th trimester, I think the the Republicans may be right about birth beginning at conception!

    • Dildeaux

      Yet another hoax revealed.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      With the new Teflon Non-Stick Vadges, all you need is a spatula!

  • Tommy1733

    So funny. Wow. Thanks for the laugh Wonkette I needed it.

  • MissTaken

    Little known fact:

    The Kenyan flag has antiseptic properties and thus always present when a white woman is giving birth to a black toddler on camera.

  • tihond

    I like the part where baby Obama looks at the camera and says "One day I will run for president of the United States on a centrist platform, despite my obvious Kenyan Muslim Socialist beliefs."

    • zumpie

      And adds "gotta run. It's time to fake my birth announcements and birth certificiate in Hawaii. And also too, dodge the Viet Nam draft by using that tired "under age" excuse!"

    • rickmaci

      …and gets carried out of the OR carrying a copy of Das Kapital personally autographed by Mao.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I think this is the same guy that made that Alien Autopsy show for Fox back in the 1990s.

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      It was real… bullshit.

      • TribecaMike

        But it made Fox millions.

  • tihond

    Worst episode of "Girls" ever.

  • Mojopo

    I give it half a star. If she birthed Sasquatch, I would have awarded five stars.

    • Esteev

      We demand the missing 2 minutes!

  • SpiderCrab

    I just hope the Romanian fellow who discovered this damning video was well-paid by a republican super-pac.

    • BadKitty904

      *Karl Rove chuckles quietly*

  • CarnyTrash

    I thought this was B. Hussein Obama's birth video. Skip to 2:50 in.

    • PugglesRule

      Wow… given the size of the baby, that woman should have gained about 120 lb. during pregnancy.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Beautiful.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      oh for fuck's sake.

    • doloras

      RIP Rudy Ray Moore.

  • UnholyMoses

    These people have issues.

    I mean, really. Just … yeah. Issues. Lots and lots of 'em.

    • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

      Yes … of Birch Society newsletters. Mountains of them.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    Another lovely KKKodak moment.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    This is some absolutely hysterically funny shit!!!!
    AHAHAHAHAHA!

  • mavenmaven

    The Sharpie on the calendar is definitely from 1961. But the idea of trying to scam Trump for his $5 million dollar bounty is clearly from 2012.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Queue up Yakety Sax!

    • jodyleek

      I can't see the video…is there a buxom blonde nurse being chased by a very short man and Benny Hill?

      • Geminisunmars

        Wait for the sequel.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    This is totally an episode of "Call the Midwife."

  • Generation[redacted]

    Dammit, who record this shit over my alien autopsy video?

  • LibrarianX

    Silly right-winger – Kenya uses the Julian calendar. 1961 means something else.

    • Nostrildamus

      Wouldn't they use the Muslin calendar? In that case, this video is from 500 years in the future.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Shouldn't they be using the Islamic calendar? The year would be like 1382 AH or something close to that.

      • LibrarianX

        Don't you guys listen to FOX? Kenyans are too sneaky to be so obvious. Everyone would expect them to use the Islamic calendar.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I have it on good authority (i.e. rectal extraction method) that babies sired by black studs on white dams must gestate for an additional two years before birth.

  • LibrarianX

    Did that baby have hair on his chest?

  • gullywompr

    #assumeobamaborn

  • credulous1

    Smart dad to get a shot of the hospital record first, in case he forgets who the mother of his child is. Very verite.

  • Indiepalin

    "If Obama was born in a NASA space shuttle… would that mean he wasn’t really American?"

    • CommieLibunatic

      Hell, with anyone other than the Kenyan Usurper, that'd make them SUPER American.

    • http://mexfiles.net richmx2

      I think the real answer is that he would… if you're born on a U.S. flagged ship or airplane you're considered a U.S. citizen, so why would a spaceship be any different?

  • LibrarianX

    I think we just saw the birth of Fat Albert.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Baby didn't go "hey Hey HEY!!!"

      • LibrarianX

        Poor audio…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      HEY!! I went to school with him.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    We must learn history or be doomed to look like an ass on the you tube when we incorrectly fake a movie to support out wingnut conspiracy theories.

  • MissTaken

    Can we please make a fake video showing Mitt Romney being assembled in IBM's China plant? We could use a US flag with 50 stars on it, even though there were only 48 states in 1947, to make it extra authentic.

    Or we could just find the real video of the assembly.

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Sorry, but it is well known that Romney became operational on 12 January 1992, at the HAL Laboratories in Urbana, Illinois, as production number 3.

      Source: FOX and Friends

      • Generation[redacted]

        It's going to be creepy when, in the middle of his concession speech, he starts singing "Daisy" as he powers down.

        • bikerlaureate

          That's the kind of post-Halloween creepiness I live for, though.
          If he had a heart he's just concede now and make my weekend great.

    • Dildeaux

      Far too time consuming. Similar to "work". Not really into that.

    • tessiee

      "Or we could just find the real video of the assembly."
      http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/a7x2jw/f

  • DCBloom

    For fucks sake, they're maligning a dead woman. I can't even snark. It's just too awful. It's one thing to go after the prez, but leave his mother alone.

    • Ruhe

      And I just stopped giggling…thank you for the perspective check. You're right. If I was presented with a video depicting my mother like that I'd be pissed.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Oh, they've said, shown and claimed much worse about her.

    • AnAmericanInTO

      How different would the last four years be if she were still alive? This endless birther bullshit parade would have been a 48 hour story.

      But like a Pez despenser another conspiracy theory would have taken its place.

  • BadKitty904

    Here's hoping the same source releases the video of Mittens being born in a manger…

  • Trinket

    I was going to say "That is the stupidest goddamned thing I have ever seen," but it seems like I'm saying that a lot lately and I don't want to get stuck in a rut.

  • MissTaken

    FINALLY, we now know how babby is formed.

    • Nostrildamus

      In Kenya, evidently. We're all anchor babbies!

      • Negropolis

        Well, they do consider the Great Rift Valley the origin of man, after all.

        Today, we are all Africans!

    • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Well, at least ones that God doesn't intend.

  • barto

    Srsly?

  • MacRaith

    Look, the guy who made the video pretty much said in the interview that he just did it to try to con Donald Trump out of some cash. I'm cool with that.

    • alteredimages

      Oooh link please!

  • GregComlish

    Watching this video is like doing the back of a Highlight's magazine.

  • heathenette

    Karl Rove must really be desperate.

  • Tripwire657

    It wouldn't make any difference where Obama was born. His mother is an American citizen (I've looked up all the stuff in the US constitution and the INS regulations regarding the definition of a citizen and the rules regarding the citizenship of children born to US parents in foreign countries) and therefore Barack Obama was and IS and American Citizen.

    Anyone thinking differently needs to explain to me how and why a Republican dominated House has not managed to garner enough evidence to a) stop his name being on the ballot in the 1st place and b) Impeaching him on the grounds of lying to congress.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Now what the fuck kind of fresh fucking hell is this shit?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    The stench of desperation is ripe with these fuckwits.

  • Esteev

    I'm sold.

  • MrsConclusion

    At first I thought this was referring to the Dunham who created Girls and I was enormously confused. But then I read it carefully. Whew! For a second I thought it was a piece of idiotic wingnut misinfopropagandotainment! That was close!

  • ElPinche

    NEEDS MOAR LANA DEL REY.

    • Negropolis

      Heaven is a place on earth with you…

  • HelmutNewton

    2-year old "baby"? Check.
    Non-existent super-8 film? Check.
    Non-existent Kenyan flag? Check.
    Woman who looks nothing like Ann Dunham? Check.
    Cheesy video effects meant to mimic actual film? Check.

    Yep, this definitely passes the teabagger threshold for "truth".

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Are we sure this wasn't produced by the "Humor" editors at Vanity Fair?

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    FAKE!!
    Here is the real Obama birth video, as you can see, he was even older when he was born.

    (YouTube has been sketchy all morning, so hopefully you can see this)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujfC1wCvVBk

  • http://www.cromiller.com cromiller

    What if this was secretly created by a pro-Obama organization as a way to further ridicule the birthers?

    • MacRaith

      That is exactly what the birthers are going to be saying about it by the end of the day.

  • Noisette76

    That baby is super cute, though. (Sorry, I just had one of those a few months ago and hormones + sleep deprivation = first reaction to something like this is to coo at the baby/toddler)

    • Fare la Volpe

      Congrats on your new bundle of joy! I hope you weren't banking on any of that "sleeping" stuff for the next 18 years!

      • BadKitty904

        *waves at the birthday boy!*

    • BadKitty904

      Hear, hear! Congratulations! :0)

      • Noisette76

        Thanks- my birth experience was remarkably similar to Ann Dunham's, right down to the 20 lb baby emerging on its own from under the sheets (with remarkably little effort on my part), my high school photo attached to my chart, and my OB's flag lapel pin. This video is SO REAL, guys.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Yay Wonkette baby! Have you indoctrinated the little one yet? Is he/she registered? Make sure he/she votes!

      • Noisette76

        She's voting twice!

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Mwahahaha. Excellent. Everything is falling into place.

  • Geminisunmars

    My hoo haw hurts after watching that.

  • cheetojeebus

    Why does that baby have a vanilla twizzler laying on it's tummy?

  • Dildeaux

    Wingers are saying this is a false flag op, that is, its performed by a libtard designed to mock the truth-seeking birfers. Fuck me.

    • sullivanst

      To be fair to them, all non-Americans do love Barry and hate Mitt.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, they got the "mocking" part right…

    • docterry6973

      Silly wingers. No one needs elaborate hoax films to mock birthers. Everyone with an ounce of sense mocks them endlessly.

    • sullivanst

      So it's a fake fake film?

      Doesn't that mean it's… dun dun DUHHH real?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Whoa. Heavy, man. Heavy.

        • sullivanst

          But not as heavy as that "newborn".

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      They're catching on faster now.

  • dennis1943

    She must have been dilated to 100 centimeters……….just sayin'……

  • Geminisunmars

    C'mon you guys. Obviously this is an SNL practice run.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Clearly this is fake, as where is the Che Guevara poster in the back ground?

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I don't know if anyone has done the research, but I'm assuming that giant babies is why the founders do not allow foreign borns to be president.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Black babbies are 7/5ths of white.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I may have (may have?) lost my freaking mind but for some reason it's extra fun to listen to "Barracuda" while watching Barry be born.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpkitLUbeEg

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Still, we now have more proof about Obama's birth than we have about who Trig's mom is.

    • emmelemm

      You are naughty today, mentioning he who should not be mentioned!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Hysterical! Clearly this video exists to make complete asses out of the dumbest of the Teatards. You guys let me know which of your stupid inlaws forwards this to you. Bravo!

  • Antispandex

    Well, I remember when my wife had our first, and she was a TOTAL hippie and wouldn't take any drugs, because they could "harm the little guy". Anyway, she didn't look near as good as Mrs. Whatshername there, and our little fella was only 6 1/2 pounds! Maybe she sould have gone with the drugs?

  • JustPixelz

    Hard to believe the grand conspiracy didn't destroy this film. What a bunch of maroons.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Conspiracies are a funny thing. Somehow, the same government that can fake the Moon Landing or cover up Obama's birth is the same one that couldn't maintain the levies in New Orleans.

      • SorosBot

        The government was able to fake the moon landing and kill JFK while hiding the conspiracy, yet somehow was unable to successfully cover up a two-bit burglary in a certain Washington hotel.

  • docterry6973

    I worked in hospitals for decades, and I swear that every chart has a 5×6 blowup of the patient's yearbook photo glued to the front page, over top of the data, so that we can identify the patient. I am CONVINCED that this film is legit.

    Trump should totally fork over the $5 million, in cash, at once. In fact, I will deliver the cash myself. Call me, Donald.

    • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Donald!

  • Generation[redacted]

    Thank you, Mr Trump. I'll take my $5 million now.

  • Dildeaux

    Ann at the gyno…
    Doc: "I seem to have lost my watch, lost my watch, lost my watch" (echo)
    Ann: "I heard you the first time, asshole".

    remeber to tip your servers.

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    First we get a fake film about Muhammad. Now one about Obama.

    Clearly, Obama is a Muslim.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      It all fits together! This is the only conclusion that can be drawn!

  • http://wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And to think the poll worker let Obama vote in Chicago yesterday. Why didn't they have him explain this video first? Why hasn't he been vetted?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      We know nothing about this man! Nothing!

  • Tio_Doidinho

    How convenient, too, also, that the mother's hoo-hoo is never exposed in the process of birth. This allows the video to be safely posted on YouTube 40 years down the road, and helps to conceal the two-year-old stuck between the dam's legs.

    Truly, comedy gold.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    It definitely looks plausible enough to be show about 100 times on Fox and Friends.

    • mickeymusing

      Plus, they can commit real journalism Fox-style ('we report –using leading questions, you decide') by simply asking if this 'could be the proof' birther's need over and over and over again without ever taking a position on it.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Alright, which of you fuckers shot, directed and appeared in this thing?!

  • SaintNixon

    Another Lena Dunham story? This joint is starting to look like New York magazine.

    • HELisforHEL

      Have they finally stopped writing endlessly about Lady Gaga? Because that was the deciding factor for allowing the subscription to lapse.

  • James Michael Curley

    Srsly, What evidence is there that the film was Super8. Kodak 8mm was 1.33:1 and Super8 was 1.36:1 not a big margin for the eye to determine.

    • docterry6973

      I believe the not-at-all shady promoter of this film described it as Super-8 and said he transferred it to video.

      • James Michael Curley

        Thanks, so he alleges; “I was going through my basement … and out popped Barack HUSSEIN Obama.”

    • T3rbo

      I think the format is actually "FAKE AS FUCK." Wasn't made until about 2008.

  • ChickTract_Fil_A

    Were there no adjacent taverns in 1961 Kenya? They were unarguably the standard father-to-be waiting room in the day.

  • BathroomGoblin

    Kerning!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!

  • TribecaMike

    But according to Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., and imdb, Obama's mother only appeared in porn movies filmed in Area 51. Who to believe???

  • TribecaMike

    An all-too obvious hoax. For one thing, the mother is white and the baby is black, which according to my pastor is a biological impossibility. Besides, everybody knows Obama's real father was Nate Silver and he's as white as Andy Williams' ghost.

  • LibCurmudgeon

    I can't believe there are actually people both here and on the Vimeo site who think that this video was meant to fool anyone. Clearly, it's an hilarious parody of the imaginary video that Trumpty Dumpty and his idiot birther pals are still searching for. Personally, I think it could have been made even more parodic, but still, it's purdy darn funny.

  • iamrrm

    If women actually gave birth to babbies that big there would be hellaciously hot flaming fiery burnings in the capitol over any attempts to deny birth control.

  • aguacatero

    It's the super-baby, Kirikou!

    • frostbitefalls

      Love that movie!

  • TribecaMike

    Any video historian can tell you that the shaky cam wasn't created until the late 1990's.

  • LibertyLover

    You had lost me at "birth video."

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    It would appear nobody bothered to suck out all the amniotic fluid from the lungs once baby emerged, so it's a shame Barack Obama had to die at such an early age.

    • Pithaughn

      No apgar test either. That was thing then right?

    • mayor_quimby

      Is that what you have to do? Gross. Now I know why repubs hate all that nasty lady business related science. Storks are so much less complicated!

  • succalina

    Is that Susan Saradon in her younger years? OSCAR!!!!

  • mingey

    Is that a new Dharma Initiative film?

  • mbobier

    Magnificent! My favorite part is when, after the giant baby emerges from under the sheets with his eyes wide open, looking around, holding his head up, and breathing as if he's been doing so for at least 18 months (which he clearly has), the guy standing to "Ann Dunham's" right grasps the umbilical cord very close to the kid's abdomen, clearly holding it in place with his left hand, and then simply removes it, without having to cut the cord or anything, while waving his scalpel-weilding right hand in the air. Also, cutting the umbilicus with the super-powered magical scalpel that doesn't need to be anywhere near the patient produces no blood at all! Obstetrical medicine in 1961 Kenya was amazingly advanced!

    Not to mention that the cord seems to be about 6" long, as opposed to an actual human umbilicus, which is typically at least 12" long (for an unusually short cord), and can be more than 24". So Kenyan babies are magic, too, since they can survive in utero with a cord that isn't long enough to stretch from their body to the placenta!!!

  • smitallica

    That is the worst recreation of an event that didn't actually happen since "The Passion of the Christ."

  • LotsOfRats

    Maybe it's just because we Canadians aren't super-patriotic, but our doctors don't generally wear flag pins in delivery rooms.

    • Pithaughn

      Do you have pictures of your royals taped to the wall?

      • viennawoods13

        All I remember is watching a Eurythmics concert on the teevee. (it was 1990)

      • LotsOfRats

        We actually post photos of the Royals to the patients' charts. That's how you know the video is from Canada.

    • Negropolis

      Of course you don't. Your flag pin would get in the way of the poppy.

  • Dr. Matt

    Sadly, teabaggers will probably believe this is authentic.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I bet the righties will bitching and complaining that this video is not being run on any of the lamestream librul media.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    One of my coworkers from the IT department posted a video on Facebook last week. It was a handheld video of his street, with his voice explaining how dangerous this intersection was, when a cop car T-boned an SUV, and it flipped over on its roof.
    It was awesome and not an obvious fake, but much better than this one.

  • patricefitzgerald

    Did anyone notice that "Obama" is a girl?

  • dial_m

    Bah-hah! Yes, that is how it happens, GOP.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well i'm voting for romney now.

  • Darrell Larose

    Child birth is a bloody messy business, that 30 lb baby was almost spotless. Ok a few red drops on the sheets, and the imbecilical (sic) cord just fell right of leaving not scar.

  • mindo99

    She gave birth to a six month old baby.

    • Negropolis

      You see, this was part of the plan. He'd originally been born to early, so they put him back in.

  • Nostrildamus

    Next year's curriculum at Liberty University's School of Obstetrics.

  • tessiee

    For the love of God, don't run the film backwards, or Obama will turn into a fetus, and then the righties will HAVE to vote for him1

  • BumbleKid

    Whose fucking baby is that?

  • TribecaMike

    Honey, I shrunk the bar again.

  • Negropolis

    I've been laughin the entire time I've been reading at the comments, both becauses of the comments and the general nature of the video. lol

  • http://mexfiles.net richmx2

    Well, of course it was released to "Vice"… pathetic as this scam is (was?), VICE is about as pathetic a source as anyone can find. Heck, they're the bozos that put out a gushing report on anti-immigrant vigilantes, never mentioning the leader was a genuine Nazi (http://mexfiles.net/2011/01/05/by-the-way/).

    I suppose it takes bullshitters to recognize bullshit, but I'm not sure why VICE even bothered to put this up, other than they figure even bad PR is better than no PR.

  • cousinitt

    This movie definitely rivals "Plan O from Beyond the Valley of the Usurpers". I give it five umbilical cords.

  • ttommyunger

    Hmmmmm. Are we SURE Breitbart is dead?

  • Tribbz

    ROFL! I'm so glad my babies weren't so large at birth. Geeze, that lady has birthin' hips!

    Mizrezz Tribbz

  • DullardMRomney

    Think I see college transcripts in his left hand.

  • Typodong3

    *Donald Trump voice* This birth is going to be HUGE folks… HUGE! Wait…OMG that baby WAS huge! I mean, jesus h. christ, that baby really was huge!

    Oh and, next time you fake an Obama birth video, move less, and go easier on the faked age filters.

  • HolyCow!!

    So Obama is much younger AND born in Kenya! I knew it!

  • Tommy1733

    I have a feeling this could be the defining video of our time.

  • zhenjiu

    This reminds one of the footage of alien autopsies: shaky camera work, grainy film stock, enough cleverly placed details to establish a date and/or location…and oh yes, COMPLETELY BOGUS!!!!!!!!