Today we learned that all reporters including Jerome Corsi should be executed for treason in honor of Free Speech Week, because Orwell. This led to discussion in the secret Wonket chatcave about trying for treason those who made the pickles on McDonald’s anusburgers too bland, but then we realized it would be much easier and quicker to determine those who should not be tried for treason, because we are lazy and it’s ever so much shorter. Presented for your edification and terror, the Compleat Liste of Those Who Maye Live.
- Ann Coulter
- Frank Luntz
- Donald Trump
- Neil Bush
- Antonin Scalia
- Clint Eastwood, duh
- Stacey Dash
- Andrew Breitbart’s corpse
The poor Republican chair that was forced against its will to stand in for the Kenyan UsurperSorry, but that chair should be totally lynched
- Whoever invented mayonnaise
- Janeane Turner
- Whoever it was who elbowed Obama in the face during basketball
- Martin Luther King, who was a Republican and who would totally agree with Grover Norquist now
- Ronald Reagan’s corpse, but not Ronald Reagan’s actual record, which shall be put to sleep in a respectful ceremony
- Every rape baby
- Megyn Kelly
- Charles krathammer, who will be elevated on a golden wheelchair.
Everyone else, please report for your firing squad, because Freedom.