Today we learned that all reporters including Jerome Corsi should be executed for treason in honor of Free Speech Week, because Orwell. This led to discussion in the secret Wonket chatcave about trying for treason those who made the pickles on McDonald’s anusburgers too bland, but then we realized it would be much easier and quicker to determine those who should not be tried for treason, because we are lazy and it’s ever so much shorter. Presented for your edification and terror, the Compleat Liste of Those Who Maye Live.
- Ann Coulter
- Frank Luntz
- Gallagher
- Donald Trump
- Neil Bush
- Antonin Scalia
- Clint Eastwood, duh
- Stacey Dash
- Andrew Breitbart’s corpse
The poor Republican chair that was forced against its will to stand in for the Kenyan UsurperSorry, but that chair should be totally lynched- Whoever invented mayonnaise
- Janeane Turner
- Whoever it was who elbowed Obama in the face during basketball
- Martin Luther King, who was a Republican and who would totally agree with Grover Norquist now
- Ronald Reagan’s corpse, but not Ronald Reagan’s actual record, which shall be put to sleep in a respectful ceremony
- Every rape baby
- Megyn Kelly
- Charles krathammer, who will be elevated on a golden wheelchair.
Everyone else, please report for your firing squad, because Freedom.
The end.
{ 370 comments }
I'd like to be allowed to live, as well. But not alongside that listing.
Wonketters should get their own pleasure island.
Wonketters should get their own Abortionplex.
Duh, you can't have one without the other.
I'm totes up wid dat.
Yeah, If that group lives, kill me now.
Any Black Republican should not be executed.
So you're saying, keep the list as is, basically?
Nor women who vote for Romney.
Black republicans are a evolutionary dead end to start with,let nature take it's course.
Except for Allen West, Michael Steele, that Keynes dude (because he's a child-abuser, the bastard), and a John Doe to be named as soon as I remember the fucker's name.
Any Black Republican should not be executed.
Both of them?
Well.. not as long as they're needed. Once the Voting Rights Act is fully repealed… fuck 'em.
Mormon Bishops
Joey Bishop?
No, he was what the Mormons call a "gentile."
Doesn't make sense, but not much they believe does.
Poor Rafalca!
And the Mitt she rode in on?
Rafalca has more class than to do Mitt, dood.
Glue libel!!
Sarah Palin does not approve of that list.
Not enough shuck and jive?
Sarah Palin should not be tried for REASON. Oh man, just one letter short.
"T" explained at last!
James O'Keefe
Well, it does say "Andrew Breitbart’s corpse", and since the anus is presumably still attached, Imma say close enough.
If Stacey Dash is allowed to live, then I think Rainbow Dash gets a bye, too.
What about Mrs. Dash?
Too spicy?
Or Dash Riprock!
Still not as cool as Bolt Upright.
But, cooler than Usain Bolt, right?
As a tomboy who wears a rainbow, I'm pretty sure Rainbow Dash was actually executed three posts ago. (Dear god how do I know this much about that show)
I don't even have the first clue what y'all are talking about.
Makes me homesick.
Did someone say homestuck?
No? Dang, never mind then.
That was simply horrible.
Was it YOU that came up with "Weedlord Bonerhitler"?
Oh hi. What's up, my Brony?
We want these people to live so they can see what they have wrought? And if that's the case where are the snowbilly and BillO.
But not Gallagher II, interesting…
..yet completely expected.
Todd Akin.
I'm glad Snowbilly didn't make the list of those who maye live. I'll assume this was not an oversight.
Can we execute Trump's hair though?
What is dead can never die!
Hard to execute something that is indestructible.
Ultron?
Waste of effort. He would just drive up to the next road kill.
Hey, that list left out Limpballs! Does that mean we get to execute him?
(Yeah yeah, with crappy ratings…)
George Will, Hannity, and Mallard Fillmore are going to be mighty pissed that they didn't make the cut. Oh, and you can expect a pissy tweet from Frieda Frozentwat any second now, also, too, as well.
"Frieda Frozentwat"
You intended for me to snortle, right? Mission Accomplished.
Yeah, have you busted out Frieda Frozentwat before? Because that's awesome.
Well, I dropped "Frosty Fuckbucket" in an earlier post, but "Frieda Frozentwat" just seemed more lyrical and shit.
But Frieda Frozentwat suggests the feminine. And is more lyrical.
And shit.
I'll say. I'm keeping both.
I object to "Whoever invented mayonnaise" because they're French.
Aioli was actually invented by the Italians and then turned into industrial sludge by Americans.
What if they are Belgian?
They *could* be Belgian, if they *wanted.* Although, according to the French, *nobody WANTS* to be Belgian.
Truly, Belgium is the Quebec of Western Europe.
Wait, wha?!
(scratches head slowly)
(stops chewing on straw)
Huh?
I don't mind getting executed, as long as I get a nice comfy chair like that guy in the picture.
I was just thinking, that is SO civilized. Back when they were executing folks in the old homeland, in the bad old days, of course, they NEVER offered you a seat. Shit, you were lucky if they did it quick with a bullet.
oh… thank you I think? for making me feel slightly less nauseated looking at that pic… replacing queasiness with guilt, a mild dose, for laughing at your remark~
I love that Limbaugh's not on the list. Shouldn't have had Elton officiate that last wedding, libtard.
Charlie Heston's cold dead hands should be exempt, though.
I really liked those pickles.
They stick on windows well.
I *was* going to ask how you knew this, and then I remembered Frank Zappa's "Sleeping In A Jar."
Those aren't pickles. They're just round, sour green things.
K-Lo?
She's not … GREEN anywhere that I can see.
soylent green things
They are really great for putting on your closed eyes and letting the acid eat through your retinas.
Nope. Nope. Don't want to know about this one either.
Dubya used to eat Pickles. Until he discovered Rice.
Rice is a lot easier on the stomach, I'll say that.
These things are pickle-like or picklesque.
Good thing Breitbart is still dead otherwise he'd definitely not be tried for treason and still be allowed to live.
Whoever invented mayonnaise
Miracle Whip sleeps with the fishes.
Ugh that shit is so disgusting.
They're both disgusting.
Is Miracle Whip French too?
But I love mayo! Without mayo there would be no BLT's, no tartar sauce for my fries, no 1000 Island dressing, no juicy burgers.
Yup, it's the juice of Satan.
So much for that relationship.
Quit being a troublemaker.
The Mayonnaise, Miracle Whip divide has been the end of many a relationship, that is all I"m saying.
It's not the fishes that'll get ya. It's the sea lice. (Via C_R_Eature in Wonkville)
Icky!
"We have had a lot of disarticulated feet wash up on our shores in running shoes," says Anderson.
Yay Wonkville?
Is it disarticulated feet season again? Damn, where does the time go?
My feet have never been especially articulated, as my ex's bruised shins can attest.
I'm wondering how many disarticulated feet in running shoes constitute "a lot".
Sea lice – it's what's for dinner (with a side of hobo beans).
And he mocks ME for cannibalism. Er … purported cannibalism, that is.
Miffed Romney's personal hair gel gal or dude.
But Donald Trump's hair person is as a good as dead.
And the guy who sprays his tan on for him.
Say, you know who Else made list's?
Schindler?
Santa?
Santa? (edit: Looks like I stole from chicken_thief.)
David Wallenchinsky, Irving Wallace, and Amy Wallace?
Nixon?Craig. (Edited in deference to Commiegirl99 because I like the way she thinks.)Dammit!
Oh you shouldn't have edited for me! You beat me fair and square! (and just right)
My Dad taught me two important lessons when I was a kid. One was that it was better to play nice with girls than to always be trying to make them cry. I didn't really understand what he meant until I was about 14 and then it all fell into place. Of course, my Dad was a diehard Democrat too.
Nixon
I see everything twice!
That's some catch…
Double dammit!
That OCD asshole in HR?
Every company's got one, don't it?
If it pleases and sparkles, I move to have this question reopened.
Marie d'Agoult and Franz Liszt?
Hmm, let's see.
Joe McCarthy
Alan West
Glenn Beck
…
Well my friend, I was going to suggest Yellow Pages but that is a corporation and it seems like you meant people. Oh wait….
How could you forget that corporations are people too, my friend….
D'nesh D'Souza?
Esquire magazine?
EMILY?
Angie?
Craig?
Mom?
Post?
Obama?
Oh, that's a "matrix." Sorry.
David Letterman's writers. And they only count up to 10.
Top 5 Reasons that Buzzfeed is the Correct Answer.
Duh, Nixon.
Franz Liszt?
I'll take the cigarette and blindfold and pass on the bullets, please.
Even Light or Menthol bullets, Barb?
Don't look now, but Dick Morris did not make the cut. Neither did D'inesh D'souza.
D'arn the luck.
Well, I had plans for tomorrow, but what the hell…which wall should I stand against?
Grace Slick appreciates your cooperation.
As does Roger Waters.
Glenn Beck. But he should be exiled to Beckistan.
Becki-becki-beckistan?
How can you exile someone to a person they never left? Hengh?!
What about the good folks at Westboro Baptist?
Null set.
Who would that be, exactly? I understand there's a tremendous dearth of good around the place.
I am here to beg mercy for Michelle "Anchor Baby" Malkin.
Xtine O'Donnell? Save the forests!!!
Ronald Wilson Reagan = 666 … six letters in each name, the sign of El Diablo, so he is not dead. He is merely waiting for Harry Potter to revive his noseless face via horcrux diary.
Awesomest pickles
http://www.hermannpicklecompany.com/don_hermann_a…
Is there a dress code or should I just arrive "business casual"?
Also, do they mind what I smoke before they shoot?
chaps.
I'm sorry, but smoking is not allowed. Habit-forming. I'm sure you understand.
It is a little known fact that many people who smoke at their execution, do, indeed die.
No Bolo Ties is the only restriction.
Hmmph. More of a fan of the smoking after the shooting.
Depends on where it's held. If it's on Wall Street, yes and yes.
I say we do it offshore in international waters so we can have some real fun.
They should be made to live together in a prefab apartment complex in South Dakota, unguarded, because whatever.
Undecided voters at dawn.
Good to see that most of the FAUXbots are going to die. (Doocy, Carlson, not-Doocy, Bolling, Varney, etc.)
P.S. Not to mention that worthless little shit, Chris Wallace.
~
How did the cast of FOX and Friends not make the cut? Or does not-Doocy wake up in the middle of the night screaming "the rich should pay more taxes"?
Do we bring our own cigarette or will one be provided?
No smoking. Those things will kill you. And the second hand smoke is dangerous for the firing squad.
I just quit, a year ago, and you're making me want a cigarette SO BAD.
Sounds more like the first class seating list for a rocket headed towards the sun.
That was a Simpsons Halloween episode, and a good one, too.
Then again, their Halloween episodes tend to be slightly better, and a lot darker, than the others.
No W?
You must have been left off that email from HQ. W never was, never is and never will be.
Who?
Naw, their hotels suck.
True story. Stayed at the New Orleans W with some friends. At probably precisely 2 AM (I don't know, I was fucking asleep) the dude in the next room starts wailing on his GF. When I called the front desk during the ruckus at 0200, the smarmy/superior front desk guy says "Are you enjoying your W experience, Mr. Wonderin?"
Fuck that!
Hey 'Becca, are you granting any last requests? Because I have one.
Are you referring to Richard Pryor's last request? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCPIg4W-6fE
No, more like this….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrNmopflUHM
You're *really* sick. And I mean that in the most admiring way.
I've never seen that. What is it?
The Pryor bit is from the classic and underrated See No Evil, Hear No Evil. Pryor is blind. Wilder is deaf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Vycrb6nTgg&fe…
I don't like this game.
It's not a game.
You really should let Ellen DeGeneres live. I know, I know…but she's really funny and my mom likes her show.
Plus she's cute.
What about Mr. Screamy from the NYSE Trading Floor, whatsisname, inventor of the Tea Party?
I thought the chair had already been lynched.
Rick Santelli
Lynched? I say it deserves the chair!
Sorry, in addition to executing all liberals, they're also banning all Meta.
In other news, Ron Artest just announced he is reverting to his original name.
If they're going to ban it, what's a meta for?
Puns are right out, too. It will be a very angry time.
Well, I'm fawked.
Needz moar cakes we like.
And cedar cheese.
Wait–this is satire, right?
Almost had me, there.
You just keep believing that, Biff.
Can I get a deferral? I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.
Well at least this will finally put an end to Sarah Palin's incessant mindless yammering .
I doubt it.
Looks like a decent start to a list of legislators for the New Confederate States of Amercia.
Chet Morton
Santa. Had to replace the carpet after last Christmas eve's all-night bonkfest with Prancer in the den.
Is it a coincidence that the ad I'm seeing at the top of the page is for "3 Early Signs of Dementia"? I think not!
My comment was deleted for some unknown reason and I had an important question. Let me try again – who will be doing the executing? Someone who knows what they're doing and doesn't just play at a range somewhere? I ask because I'm a delicate little thing and I don't want to suffer.
Did you ask who was going to pull the tr1gger? Because whereas Your Wonket will let you say every word on George Carlin's list as much as you want, tr1gger is streng verboten.
Oh, I did use that word. Oops.
To get around this you can type it in reverse. Reggirt or Girt. I got nothing.
A very small of users are special and can type forbidden words. The rest of us mortals can use obvious typos, numbers in place of letters, or if we want to look like we're fancy like Chet, unicode characters from the Cyrillic range (which has letters that render the same as a, c, e, i, o and y, but which IntentDebased is not smart enough to spot). That's a lot of hassle for a little word, though ;)
The other known banhammer word is rеtard.
For some strange reason "seohs" also seems to be illegal.
Something to do with spam referring to search engine optimization?
Yup.
Dick Cheney. Prepare to suffer.
Just for you, you can be drawn and quartered. It is very quick, you won't feel a thing.
No it isn't. People used to *specialize* in keeping the victims alive long enough for the executioner to pull out their liver and show it to them.
I SO do not want to see my liver!
No pickles other than Wickles for me, ever again.
Yeah, buddy!
Um, Honey Boo Boo's mamma, and everyone who looks and acts like her, and all of her married relations (Ok, which, I admit, maybe the same thing), and everyone who is all proud of being rednecky. Also. Especially if they used to be Governor of a far northern state, but are NOT racist.
Every rape baby? Surely some of them must be annoying in some way or other. I say only save the boys, and only if they agree to rape someone when they grow up, out of respect for their fathers.
I'm sure I saw this in a Star Trek episode.
I had to let this settle in, but yes, there was an episode where two warring planets computerized their casualties with predictive routines. Then the "dead" would be herded into vaporizing machines. And no, they didn't have Vick Vapor Rub in the machine.
Was actually kind of scary to me. In that, a society could, over years, convince its populace to do almost anything.
I originally meant this comment as a glib joke. But thinking about it in the context you brought up – yes, it's quite scary. We have "journalistic" organs actually calling for people to be executed for treason because they disagree, and because they support the president. What the fuck is going on?!
That would be A Taste of Armageddon
Today, we are all Eminiar-ians.
Could we possibly save the C Cupp? After all Donald Trump, Neil Bush and Antonin Scalia will need to spread their seed to repopulate New Jeebuzzworld with the right kind of minds and Janeane Turner is really out to pasture and Stacy Dash would be wrong if you know what I mean and MAnn Coulter doesn't count and I don't think SMegman Kelly can handle it all by herself.
Michelle Malkin's not good enough for you, huh?
I kind of think she would be hard on a guy trying to work up an erection. IMHO.
Oh gawd, presented with this scenario I have to have photos of Marcus Bachmann to get it up.
Also, "one-drop rule." She will make not-AryanPURE baybeez.
If execution is inevitable, why not just lie back and enjoy it?
God's will and all that…
Sponsored by the Brooke Shields Lazyboy Collection?
If we have to go up against the wall (mofo, obvs), then needz moar dirty hippies.
Thanks for that. "Volunteers" is almost as good as "After Bathing at Baxter's."
♩♬Acid, incense and balloons…♪♫
Yer welcome. Back in the fog, heard them do Volunteers as the crowd-called encore ending a concert.
Electric Theater, Chicago, summer of '68. Terrible sound, couldn't understand a word. And get this: they had bubbles of colored liquid between transparencies on an overhead projector—far out, man!
Opening act was Iron Butterfly…who knew a drum solo could go on for 15 minutes?
If Rmoney is elected the firing squad sounds good. Do I have to pay for my own bullets.
Austerity budget, people, austerity.
Chairman Mao smiles.
Moocher.
Gladly.
Up against the wall, redneck mother…
Jerry Jeff Libel!
Ned Flanders
Well, it's been fun kids! See you in hell!
Mayonnaise libel!
Miracle Whip, OTOH
Big BirdNooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Need someone to put on your 'Do Not Kill' list? Why not Zoidberg?
But my dogs get to live, right?
Yes, but they'll be raised as Christians…
And have to ride around in a kennel tied to the roof of a car next to Dead Breitbart.
Knowing dogs, they'll LOVE that. DeadBreitbard won't, and won't be whole for long, either.
I don't see Jesus on that list, but then again he never recited the Pledge of Allegiance, never stood for the national anthem, and probably didn't even watch the Super Bowl. And I know he wasn't a gun owner, so all that may explain it.
And he didn't wear a flag pin.
He did, but the flag said "SPQR."
INRI LIBEL!
I bet he could sport awesome pair of flag cufflinks.
True, but it would be a bitch shaking hands with Him.
Why, do you think your fingers would go through the hole in his hand, or what?
Chuck Norris — and his cheapo exercise machine.
Where is Our Lady of Noonington?
Stalking Jim Newell through a haze of gin and bitter, bitter tears, no doubt.
Why am I not surprised to discover that Dame Peggington is sufficiently steeped in angostura to lachrymate it?
Hahahahaha. Was it a butt of Malmsey he drowned in?
You pick: (a) Great minds think alike; (b) Small minds seldom differ.
I'm leaning towards (a), myself. Or a djinn & tonic.
Anyone who uses polysyllabic words is a traitor.
Anyone who wears glasses is an intellect-CHOO-al, and shall be sent to a work camp immediately.
Ohgod. They *did* that, you know. In search of a *pure* society.
Chewing through the veins on her wrists in a bathtub full of gin.
I do declare, we really are heading for a Hutu-Tutsi moment in this country, and if you think us Yurpeans is too civilized for such tacky African shenanigans, google up on the Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre. These wingnuts are quite open about wanting liberals, and they do mean all liberals, anyone who doesn't drink the koolaid, dead, and they really should be taken more seriously (like, seriously enough to put them in the asylum or prison for outright threats). People like Coulter, calling for the killing of liberals just to put the fear in the rest of us, really now, no publisher in a sane society should continue to publish such a person. The far right and an amazing number of fucktarded followers would truly in a heartbeat fire up the ovens, synthesize the zyklon B, and do away with us, gladly without a qualm. Its a real thing, when one party uses apocalyptic scare rhetoric coupled with demonizing and dehumanizing their opponents to the point of literally flat out saying that killing democrats is justified and right, for the good of the country. Its quite some world we gots to live in huh? Its nearly three tequilas time.
Ok, but you see, you said "no publisher in a sane society should continue to publish such a person," so YOU are clearly the greater threat to freedom. So to preserve Liberty, you must be executed for trying to take away Wingers' right to call for your execution.
[pushes shot glass over] Pour me one also too in addition.
Why need we look up Saint Bartholomew's Day Massacre, when the world's most infamous act of genocide was committed by a white Yurpeen, and a Northern white Yurpeen at that?
ETA: I have on occasion made the observance that Radio Rwanda would certainly have been protected under the Brandenburg standard for First Amendment analysis, and these assholes are proving it near-daily now.
Dear Mr. Promzarelli,
As keen observers of your commenting history, we at PBS have concluded that you are the man best suited in these times to carry on the legacy of the late Fred Rodgers, assuaging the anxieties of schoolchildren daily with your calm and reassuring presence. May we discuss a pilot?
I'll meet you there.
I hope no one seriously thinks Yurpeans are "too civilized for such tacky African shenanigans." I mean, Europe was perpetually at war with itself and the rest of the world prior to WWII. They are no strangers to genocide.
Gallagher is still alive?
Oh yea.
Two of them, actually.
The Palin who shall not be named, patron saint of Corsi!
Isn't that an island somewhere out there where they grow soybeans and make bean curd cakes?
Can we add SE Cupp? Those glasses really turn me on.
I'll buy ya a pair of cheap black plastic frames.
My lord, Eddard Stark, of the House of Stark and Lord of Winterfell should never have been executed. But you can execute all the Republicans on your list and all of the Lannisters, except for Tyrion.
What's a nice Jewish girl doing writing a post like this? The who lives-who dies thingie is in the hands of his Popiness, the Rev. Fred Phelps and Franklin Graham and his wife, Lindsay. Tsk-tsk.
Are these Legitimate Executions, or Illegitimate Pardons, or what the fudge?! This double reverse psychology makes my brain hurt.
Whoever came up with the advertising phrase 'New and improved!'.
Roger Ailes
Reality TV producers
Gallagher (the comedian)
The Romney campaign; every single DAY!
This fucking guy?
I meant the watermelon smashing smuck but that gold-selling 'tard should get it as well.
Stacey Dash?!?! But then I see that not only did she vouch for Romney, she's been married three times. All the best family-values Republicans have been married at least that many times!
Stacy probably doesn't even know who ROMNEY is but was told saying she was voting for him would give her non existent career some publicity.
We should burn Ann Coulter as a witch, instead. And commit Krauthammer (sic) to an isolation ward in a mental hospital.
Of course, it doesn't matter whether or not we execute Dick Cheney because he has his deal with the devil that means he will never die.
He's a lifetime member of the heart of the month club…
Careful, or Biely will put in an appearance and explain the details of that contract.
Next week is Bank Appreciation Week. Can't wait to see who we spare in that Schwindler's List.
If I'm entitled to a last cigarette, I'd like to have one made by those fine folks on Alpha Centauri Bb, please and thank you.
Bristol Palin because fetuses can't self-abort.
Joe the Plumber because tampons.
Louis CK because Sarah Palin.
OT
If you need a pick-me-up after your firing squad encounter, the statistical mavins at Horse's Ass give Bamz a 93% chance of beating Willard. That is nationwide, not just in Seattle.
(Hugs weejee) I am SO FUCKING JAZZED by this, Weej!
Interesting. Their main difference with Nate Silver is they've got Virginny going blue. Nate Silver has Hopey at 72% and climbing slowly.
Differences in methodology, too – Nate's model appears to factor in a lot more data/variables – and sorry, I just can't credit a 93% win chance, that's too aggressive based on the current state of polling.
Nate does currently have VA a very pale shade of blue, though.
I agree with you on this being overly optimistic. 270 to Win has backed-off their previous 90+ projection to 76% which is v. near Silvers late 10/25 projection of 73.1%. Regardless, these numbers cannot be comforting to Mittens.
Yeah, I'm sure the Romney campaign are currently in a state of mostly trying to convince themselves they can replicate their late surges from ad blitzes in primary states. They can't, for three main reasons. First, their primary ad blitzes were overwhelmingly negative, and they worked because votes didn't really know Mitt's opponents – Newt was the only one who'd previously been nationally known, and even he'd spent a long time out of the spotlight; the President, on the other hand, is someone about whom people have already made up their minds. Second, Mitt had orders of magnitude more money than his opponents and was able to completely dominate the airwaves; Barack has lots of campaign money too and is able to come much closer to matching expenditures. Third, viewer fatigue – I'm a political junkie in NY and even I am sick of the political ads (fuck you very much, Linda McMahon); I'd hate to think what it's like in, say, Ohio – I suspect by now it's almost impossible to produce an ad that any significant number of people are going to pay attention to in swing states.
every rape baby
But where will all the future Republicans come from then?
Again, if any of these turds start to refer to liberals as "cockroaches," I'm getting the fuck outta here.
Here you go: http://patriotpost.us/opinion/13948
Jesus CHRIST, who IS that FUCKWADDLE?
WTF is wrong with me, I read that first item as "Ann Cunter." And I am not one who uses the word "cunt" in anything but a friendly, leering, and complimentary manner.
OT: Alright you fucking miscreants and horrors of ignoramussery. Y'all have been Oldzing about GANGNAM STYLE so fucking much that this Olde Farte has decided to end the gum-flappery. This is it. PSY, GANGNAM style. Oppa do the right thing by you bros&hos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
OK. Now, do the Cup Song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed…
Who IS that little CUTIE?
I think I'm in love.
Hey! No mackin' on my buds! ;0)
You know that little hottie? Mm-mmm!
Too young for me anyway. (sniff!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICS4oPg75Tc
This would beour guy- Ai Wei Wei- look for the handcuffs
Wo men tou ai Ai Wei-wei.
Is that Oddjob?
What's Oddjob?
That means "We all love Ai Wei-wei." Ai in pudong hua means "love." We used to tease little girls by singing "Wo ai ni" when we were little.
I'll see your gangnam style and raise you a deadpool style:
http://cheezburger.com/41921025
OMG, that was fucking hilarious!
So, um, you know the Church thinks that gays are given over to a reprobate mind, right? Of course you do.
Anybody like swing dancing?
This always puts me in a good mood:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf55gHK48VQ&fe…
I like to watch.
You will be astonished to know that there are multiple…
Pony-based
versions.
I regret NOTHING
I just want to say how much I abhor those awful twee little plastic horsey things.
But thanks for sharing.
I was hoping that last one would at least somehow involve Edith Piaf…
We CAN'T lynch whoever invented mayonnaise? WTF, BeccaLou! I withdraw my financial support of the Wonketz!
(In the interest of accuracy, we note that MittBorg has NEVER financially supported the Wonketz.)
Request postponement until November 7 just so I know if life would have been worth living or not. If not, please just sneak up on me and make it quick, ok?
We're gonna need more bullets.
A *LOT* more bullets. And/or bigger 'uns.
Or votes.
A *LOT* more votes. And/or bigger 'uns.
Feel free to use my raccoon traps and Wallenstein BX42S woodchipper. No need to go Fargo , it's all self-feeding.
We're gonna need a smaller list.
I don't have I.D.
Does that make it a felony if I show up and ask them to shoot me?
Ummm… why didn't America's most respected opinion columnist, Chuck Norris, not make that list? And esteemed composer Theodore Von Nugent?
I was going to say Dennis Miller, but then I remembered this story:
When my great-grandfather was in his early 20s, he met my great-grandma and chose to leave the Methodist church to become a Catholic for her when they married. He went to mass every Sunday and Wednesday. He was a Deacon. He founded the local chapters of the Knights of Columbus and the St. Vincent DePaul Society and headed both for many years.
Upon his death at 87, many prominent Catholic leaders showed up for his funeral, and the Archbishop spoke. As my mother and I left the funeral mass, we got stuck behind two local old ladies chatting. One said, in a loud, serious voice, "You know, he was a pretty good Catholic…. for a convert."
So, sorry, Dennis, but you have to die.
Sorry, but we always made fun of converts. They didn't understand that you actually were required to sin. At least the Irish Catholics.
One of my ex-gfs says that's why it's so wonderful to be Catholic. You get to sin, and then share it, and it goes away, pouf! just like that.
I agree that Dennis Miller has to die, but I'm afraid I don't see the tie-in with your Grandpa.
Miller was a liberal until 9/11. He's a Conservative convert, which isn't enough to make him pure.
What about Doctor Keith Ablow? He can be used to quickly find others for the firing squad, by judging how they respond to a few of his pronouncements.
If they laugh, they die.
Ann Coulter's poor little penis. Obviously.
Isn't it ironic that these wingnuts are also the ones who say things like "I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE MY COUNTRY ANYMORE"
And they don't mind the idea of a little fascisty housecleaning based on allegiance to a specific political party. Wonder what country they are thinking of.
The country that E.L. Doctorow described in "Ragtime" when he wrote: "There were no immigrants. There were no Negroes".
Jeezus K. Christ on a cracker, that must be the Polish Marksmanship Team…..think they're close enough?
i really have nothing except this:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/killing-wheelcha…
Chuck Norris's momentum
also: time to watch 'once upon a time in mexico'!!
Oh, I get it.
"The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. Now THAT is irony!" – Bender Rodriguez
What's wrong with maynaz? I like maynaze. And no, I don't dip my fries in maynaze like those cowards the Franch. I might dip sumthin else in it if you axed me real nice.
They're gonna need more bullets.
Tucker Carlson's bow tie stays. He goes.
A bow-tied Tucker would never have gone dancing on the teevees.
The bow tie limited the flow of blood to his brain allowing him to just be a douche.
Unrestricted flow, he becomes a soft, sad, pathetic, douche.
I've seen hell and it's this list.
Mayonnaise, okey. But, Miracle Whip has got to go!
That image is truly disturbing. I realize it's a shameful part of (some country's) historyand that we should never forget but it's just too much.
It's friggin poetry.
Awwwwww! *group hug!*
Also, too. As they used to say on The CBS Culture Hour, "SAAAAAA– LUTE!"
Puns?
*clutching chest*
But….but….but…how will I make my living?
Haha, Mortals! Trigger retard your damned shoes!
I also was getting modded for describing the way that God gave us the gift that is Richard Mourdock, which made me kinda sad.
and shoe s (no space)
What the hell are you talking about? My prefs say Western (Mac OS Roman) encoding, like any decent American.
Damn YOU!
*shakes fist at Chet*
Damn BOTH of you!
Isn't that more of a banmallet word? I thought that one sent you into eternal limbo rather than straight to hell…
Yeah, but people who aren't you have to either have the words look different, or fire up charmap (unless they have freaky memories for unicode codepoints, or a handy cribsheet to cut'n'paste from)
I like my feet clean and articulated.
Ha. You were discussing the toilet habits of the deity.
HEY! Lemme in there.
Oddjob was Goldfinger's henchman in the Bond flick of the same name.
Is that Mandarin?
NObody is cooler than Usain Bolt. NOBODY.
Ah. I have never seen the Bond flicks, as you term them.
Pudong hua is the Northern Chinese dialect that came to be called "Mandarin" because it was spoken by the educated and governing classes. It was simplified and standardized after the Revolution. Although it is the official language, China has now begun attempting to preserve its many other languages and dialects.
Oddjob (the Bond villain) was a small, yet sinister, Asian gentleman who killed people by whipping his bowler hat at them.
Ha! I sense a niche fan community for my efforts.
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