Richard Mourdock has “apologized” (no he hasn’t) for saying rape is Jesus’s special way of giving you something productive to do for the next 18 years instead of whoring around on Saturday nights like common trollops, and on behalf of us all, John McCain has graciously accepted his “apology”! So it’s cool you guys, John McCain says it’s cool. Ladies, put down your bras and pitchforks and go back to crowing over the corpse of your mortal enemy CNN. But is there anything … odd … about this “apology” and McCain’s acceptance of it on behalf of us all? Well why on earth would you think that?
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Oh right, because he didn’t apologize, but just talked about how super-Godly he is and then said that his opponent twisted his words … without his consent!!! (Oh right again, and because Paul Ryan believes the exact same thing, and also too it is the explicit policy of the Republican party, in addition.)
But it’s good enough for John McCain, so kindly make with the trap-shutting and the sandwiches.
[TPM]
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John McCain is sorry you whores don't appreciate God's little miracle gift to you.
He hopes the people of Indiana see through the critics' shuck and jive.
I don't see any whore diamonds… no sammiches without whore diamonds, fool!
John McCain really is sorry.
Maybe McCain accepted his apology to the GOP for going against standard GOP groupthink about how women's bodies just shut down when legitimately raped and so there's no such thing as rape babies.
I can't comment on this story until Meghan has spoken.
True that.
Mourdock: Sorry I'm not sorry.
McCain: Apology accepted.
Us: You said "sorry" twice!
Him: I like rape!
McCain is used to getting non-apologies from fellow Republicans. Bush gave him one after smearing McCain's adopted daughter in South Carolina, for instance.
Lack of consent doesn't enter into any of these important issues.
But you twisted my words without my consent!!!
Some people's words twist easy…
You know, if us libs are going to keep bending the Republicans over for their rape comments, we should at least buy them dinner first.
Thats what I keep saying!
Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca … that's just the hormones talking. Now go take a bubble bath, maybe listen to some Sarah McLachlan.
But can you take a minute to make me a sandwich first, Honey?
Where is Wonkette's little helper when you need one?
From 18 hours ago:
CNN at least isn't as bad as Mourdock, I guess. That's the best praise I can give CNN anymore, it's sad.
This comment works twice as well here as my reaction to this.
Edit: Apparently I can't spell "Mourdock."
Actually, I think it's spelled "morlock". You know, the underground cannibals from H.G. Wells' Time Machine.
Don't tell me Tom Cruise was in that adaptation too, for fuck's sake…
Have we all forgotten Wesley Crusher's buddy from Starfleet Academy?
It should be spelled Mourdick, as he is another Richard.
So rapebabies are a gift from God but anchor babies aren't? If God works in mysterious ways isn't it possible that it is His strange intention that all those sneaky Mexicans should come here and make babies, for freedum? Couldn't that be God's will?
Mourdock was thinking white rapebabies are blessings from Jeebus. Raptbabies from Jeebus Rodriquez, not so much…
But Snowflake babies are a gift from Jeebus.
Stop using logic. Logic is for libruls, fags, and Hollywood screenwriters.
Are yes, but I believe anchor babies are a gift from Jésus… so it amounts to the same, right?
Living with the child produced by rape for 18 years is 2 years longer than the rapes of Ronald Reagan"s and W's administrations combined.
As a godless, legs-akimbo dirty cooter-possessing feminazi whoremonster, I do NOT approve this message.
Are you busy Friday night?
Yeah, but do you shave your legs?
Of course not! Shaving your legs is a sign to the mens that you want to be not legitimately raped.
You had me at "godless".
Godless, legs-akimbo dirty cooter-possessing feminazi whoremonsters are some of my favorite people.
Also…
"As a godless, legs-akimbo dirty cooter-possessing feminazi whoremonster"
Mom?
Count me in too.
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father,
May all those who continue to support this candidate be blessed with Your gift of a violent rapist's baby into their households. And may Richard Mourdock be anally raped with
a nail studded 2×4votes!In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.
Hey! You started your post with your old boardname! Very clever!
Oh, the ironing!
Prayer warriors unite!
This is good news for…
No. No, it's actually not.
I can't figure these pro-rapey Republicans out. Are they maybe going for the coveted Ben Roethlisberger endorsement?
Considering that the people of Pittsburgh are still willing to cheer for that serial rapist, maybe they think the pro-rape angle will win them Pennsylvania?
Ahem–some of us cheer for our team and our hometown *in spite* of that asshole, not because of him.
Ben Roethlisberger is a fucking pussy.
~ Mike Tyson
Ben Roethlisberger is a fucking rookie.
~ M. Tyson
Mike Tyson is a lisping wimp.
~ K. Bryant
You want somma this?
~ T. Harding
Just showing them love
~Sandusky
Get Sarah to send them rape kits, John.
But they gotta pay for them, dammit!
Get Sarah to send them rape kits, John.
Hey, that's Detective Olivia Benson's job… cut it out.
Wow.
Perhaps they could give us a hint on how to misinterpret them the right way.
They should just impose a ban on short skirts. Rape problem fixed. You're welcome!
Offset by more cleavage and I'll second the motion.
Perhaps there is a garment we could have all the lady-people wear that covered them properly. Loosely, head to toe even. Maybe with a window of sorts for them to look out of. I wonder if some Godly culture might have adopted such a practice. Someone should look into this.
Those who ascribe to the "she asked for it" philosophy wouldn't be deterred even by burqas.Their ignorance runs deep.
We will pull our puds to whatever bit we are allowed to see. Clearly the only solution is an outright ban on women!
John spent five and a half years in a vagina so he knows.
It was pure torture!
Mourduche vs. Elizabeth Warren 2016.
Oh for fuck's sake, you old coot. JUST. DIE. ALREADY.*
*obligatorily, with votes.
I'd ask "Which one?" but I'm pretty sure you mean AOTK.
And just think after Bamz lays a whooping on Willard the true crazies will claim the lass was 'cause Mittenz wasn't a true believer. This will set the Rethugs so we'll be seeing Akin-Mourdock clones (and much worse) running in every partisan race from dog catcher to US Senator and stately governators. Oh boy, oh boy, a snarkdom wet dream in the making. And Walnutz will look like a sober bottle of Geritol.
And maybe we'll all remember it would be a good idea to get off our asses and knock out these raving loons in primaries and the off-year general, sometime sooner than four years from…
…naah. Never mind. Pass me the bong.
Fine by me—it'll make it that much easier to finally take the house back in 2014
That's one scenario. The other scenario is that the Olde Establishment returns to restore "order" to the Republican Party, using the Defeat Of The Crazies as a cudgel.
Imagine if this dotty old dude had been President for the past (almost) 4 years, with that unrelenting moron Tundra Grifter whispering in his ear.
Y'all would be at war with France by now.
Well…wait till you get a load of Magic Underpants and "kid" Galt, not only will we be at war with France, but every other country in the world as well.
He would have asked Cheney to "accidentally shoot her" by now.
Ummm… when did rape stop being a crime?
When us sluts started asking for it by being wimmins, I think
Because Jesus needs more followers.
When wah men do it.
When it happens to other people's daughters.
God damn whores with your god damn whores pills.
To be fair, it's also our eff me pumps, short skirts and spaghetti straps.
And those fetching sweatpants and plaid flannel and bandannas – I mean, who could resist that? It's like you're daring all us peni-Americans to exercise our God-willed rights!
Don't forget skinny and or low rider jeans! According to one uber controlling dad on a PARENTING BLOG I frequent, if you let your daughter wear low riders she WILL become a prostitute. No ifs, ands or buts.
So obviously if any wimmin freely chooses to wear such garments, she's pretty much damaged goods already, so hey, why not?
I believe you meant "No ifs, ands or butts."
And trollop makeup. Or is that just his wife?
It's so nice that these men are able to agree on which medieval principle to impose on women who want to be in charge of their own bodies.
So thats why people have kids? To keep them from whoring around like common trollops? But what about whoring around like an exceptional trollop, or a mediocre floozy, or a sub-par slattern? There are so many ways to whore around, you know.
And virtually all of them are Big Dog, the Hermanator, and Chicken_Thief approved.
Yes! Shouldn't we be encouraging people to maximize their potential?!
He's kind of a cunt, ain't he.
We should apologise to McCain for all the Indians we genocided, and all the blacks we enslaved. I'd really like to put that behind us.
"I see dead people."
McCain / Palin 2012!
"I see stupid people."
Dead stupid people.
Is this an apology tour?
There is no misspeaking, there is no misunderstanding, there is no manufactured outrage and offense to these troglodytes values that guide their ability to legislate their morals at the cost of the Constitution, Bill of Rights and legally protected rights therein.
Richard Mourdock thinks the health care law is "the greatest intrusion on American liberty." But rape is a blessing waiting to happen? Akin, Ryan, Mourdock and many sitting members in power look at us and just think of females in three stages: "Going to Make Babies," "Making Babies," or "Can't make Babies Anymore."
You forgot one more stage: leeching welfare slut whose babies we pay to support, but will no longer support so she can support them by working at Walmart for minimum wage.
What could possibly go wrong?
Make more babies because after we repeal Obamacare, these guys are going to let a whole bunch of people die and we need replacements to run the factories and the fast food places. This is what Jesus wants.
Who cares what that old fart thinks?
this is where the republicans got their info about ladypartz etc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9_kTOgjT3E
This crap is why you must be destroyed, HU-MANS!
Yes, a man who publicly said to his wife "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt" is a perfect for accepting an apology for virulent misogyny.
Does Meghan Mc have any thoughts on this?
Does Meghan Mc have any thoughts
on this?Fixed.
I love this time of the year. You get to see the migration of the Rape Stork. So beautiful.
Where the hell is Mr T when you need him to shut Murdoch the fuck up?
Reunited and it feels so good. (Apologies to Peaches and Herb.)
Apology accepted.
Norman Rossiter [aka, Herb]
OT, I've had two "Your comment must be approved by the site admins before it will appear publicly." this morning. And I dint even use the *r* or *n* words. What gives?!
Isn't Mourdork that place where Sauron lived?
No, you're thinking of Buffalo, NY.
Today, we are all Overly-madeup Trollops.
Well, the only way I can hear it is that he thinks God wants ladies to be raped. 'Cuz if it happened, that's what God wanted. Of course, if an abortion happened, that can't be what God wanted, because abortions are from Satan. Unlike rape.
ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu….
Because shut up, that's why.
You nailed the "logic", alright, and it's inescapable if one views a fertilized egg as a human being.
They'd better figure out a way to exempt wimmin from bllame, for ejecting all of those eggs spontaneously…
Richard Mourdock is a magnificent ape.
Was he the one on last night's Daily Show?
So if I've got all this straight, rapists are just doing the Lord's work, amirite?
No, No, No, that would be a jerb destroyer for all of those fer profit jails that keep springing up everywhere.
Mourdock's take would give a person a whole lot of leeway, wouldn't it?
No the rapist are criminals. God just steps into the whole thing in the middle. But instead of thwarting something soul crushing and utterly devastating, he gives the lady a brand NEW problem!
Well obviously, if they hadn't plastered on the make up like a trollop, those cunts wouldn't have been raped. God's will!
"I can't believe I'm losing to this guy."
-Jon Lovitz as Michael Dukakis. Also, every Democrat that's currently behind in the polls. Seriously, America, WTF?
'Merikuh… It's the same country that elected W twice. (okay, once… the Supreme Court elected him the first time around…)
And 60 days after W's second term began a whole passel of dumb fuckers decided they'd made a mistake in voting for him. Yeah, America WTF indeed!
I like that you can erase anything by apologizing. This is toddler logic. "I said I was sorry!"
Or, in this case, by not apologizing.
Since rape has now normalized, what's everyone doing this weekend?
Rape Room Makeovers!
Ironing my ski mask?
I'm waiting until pillaging and looting are OK, too…
You don't have to wait long! Suit up.
Gah.
I will be prancing up and down the 101 in my hooker shoes and short shorts. Duh!
I am gonna have a rape party, viagra rufies included!!
Decorating a nursery. Duh.
See that girl, in the short little skirt,
the way she moves, makes me hurt.
I'm gonna take some.
I'm a Republican Senator, and I approve this message.
Uhhh, no. If you feed them, they just breed.
Does anyone else think Mourdock looks a little like a duck? Maybe his mom was godly raped by Daffy? Well at least it's not fucking Goofy.
Ah, I see someone besides me remembers little Jasmine and her ducks
and the joke with the punchline of Micky to his therapist "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!"
No, not a duck-he looks like Grandpa Munster. Ryan is Eddie Munster.
The tradition of the non-apology apology is strong with these people. I'm beginning to think they don't know what the word "apology" means.
Only libs apologize. It's a sign of weakness.
Sadly, it's true. In many workplaces, this IS the prevailing attitude.
win at any cost by making fun of your hideous quasi-religious beliefs? hell yea!
One does not simply walk over Mourdock…
If God was a female we wouldn't be having this discussion.
He did apologize! He said he was sorry that everybody misunderstood him.
Seriously, he really did.
Have we almost reached "If you reject your rape baby then you reject God" yet? It's getting close.
On behalf of the NVA, I apologize for their torture of John McCain.
Is that how this works?
Apology accepted, MT. No hard feelings.
God, I hope not. I'm Catholic… I would be sooooo fucked!
Get the hell off my internet and biblically rape yourself, old fool.
OT:
I have this strange urge to subscribe to the Wonkette Newsletter.
New Jersey is going to be wiped out by October Stormprise Mother of All Perfect Storms next week anyway, fuck it all, time to go out in style, as the Dropkick Murphys would suggest! http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at3+shtm…
Looters in fancy dress will be out in force next Wednesday.
Don't think I will be shipping off to Boston anytime soon.
BTW, don't expect these guys to provide any sort of assistance to these ladies in providing for their l'il God presents (or probable deterioratingmental health) . Cause, you know, once the baby's out of their vajayjay, who the fuck cares? Amirite???
Remember Men, When Your wife is raped, that bundle of joy is God's will.
When you have to take a second job to feed that new mouth in your family, it's God's will.
When your wife starts crying when the babysitter says "Oooh, he has his father's eyes", God wants her to cry.
When you feel confused watching a rape baby suckle at your wife's bosom, just remember, God works in mysterious ways.
And when the rape-teen wants to know why he looks different from his siblings… Enjoy the world's most awkward conversation about the birds and the bees. God's thinking of you.
When John McCain vouches for you, you're going down in flames for sure! Did you vet 'im, Johnny Boy?!
What he meant to say is that rape is a victimless crime.
That is one foul thought, Chet. Crap sakes.
Yes, it is.
I would like to say the phrase "pap smear" to these geniuses, just to watch their faces blanch.
They thank God they are Amurricans, because, if Afghans, they'd be dead suicide bombers by now.
Rape Babies come from the Rape Fairy. There! It's all about your attitude, see?
Another ol man with a $2 haircut explaining what rape is? Good golly!
McCain got into a car accident and went into a coma and when he woke up he realized he was a woman trapped in a man's body and now he speaks for all women with authority, so everybody STFU!
So altar boys aren't privy to God's gift, but women are? God is a fickle bitch.
Well if Walnuts is cool with it, I'm cool with it. Because who understands women better than John McCain?
John McCain is SO mavericky that he's making up shit.
Or senile.
Or maybe he's been dead (from lack of votes) for a couple years and no one bothered to tell him???
I am wondering why we let North Vietnam's greatest anti-air weapon back into the United States.
The GOP "rape isnt that bad" or the rape is implied party. Now i am just waiting for them to approve of pillaging.. Oh wait!!
1%? Green light.
I wonder if the waitresses at the Tucson Denny's spit in McCain's food???
What about the marvelous ape? Was he sent by god, also, too?
This is interesting:
" The researchers found that during the fertile time of the month, when levels of the hormone estrogen are high, single women appeared more likely to vote for Obama"
But makes sense when you know this:
" In the first study women viewed online dating profiles of either a sexy man or a reliable man during periods of both high and low fertility. Participants were asked to indicate the expected paternal contribution from the men if they had a child together based on how helpful the man would be caring for the baby, shopping for food, cooking and contributing to household chores. Near ovulation women thought that the sexy man would contribute more to these domestic duties."
Now here's a pair to draw to…..
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