Sad Clown Donald Trump Declines To Release School Records, Because It’s ‘Stupid’

by Rich Abdill

A colored gentleman graduated from WHERE?!!?You know all those times when there’s a negative story about someone, and somewhere in the middle there’s a little paragraph about how Shitty Old So-And-So refused comment for the story? Like, because there’s nothing intelligent to say and no legitimate justification for whatever the story’s about?

Donald Trump’s spokesman, much like the Man Himself, does not have this impulse.

We’re talking, of course, about the Trumpster’s statement yesterday that he would donate $5 million to charity if Barack “The Stupid” Obama would release his college records and passport information, because withholding charitable donations for racist political purposes is not only Trump’s style, it’s patriotic.

Bad news, though. It looks like, even when Obama inevitably caves to this reasonable and not at all offensive request, we won’t get to see Trump’s transcripts.

The Guardian was writing a story about it, as news sources frequently do, but they took it a step further, as news sources less frequently do: They asked Trump’s office if they would be releasing the Don’s school records, or if he’s exempt from suspicion because his being white means he actually deserves things. We added that second part, but we think it was probably implied.

Anyway, how did Trump’s people respond, to someone requesting his school records? “It’s a stupid request.” Obvi.

Tell it, Adam Gabbitt:

“I tell you what, he’ll provide them to you when you provide yours to him,” said Michael Cohen, executive vice president at the Trump Organization and special counsel to Trump, in what began as a friendly encounter.

Uh oh.

I readily agreed to the deal, and offered to provide my college records and passport-application records to the Trump office for inspection. That seemed to prompt a change of heart.

No kidding! That guy wants to walk back a very stupid thing he said to a person who was writing it down on the internet? How did he get out of it?

“But what’s your point? Mr Trump’s not the president of the United States and he’s not running for the presidency,” Cohen said. [...]
“I think what you’re doing is you’re, whether you’re trying to be funny, intentionally or not, actually it’s a stupid request on your behalf,” he said. “It’s trying to poke fun at the fact that the president of the United States is the least transparent president that we’ve ever had. He may be the least transparent politician we’ve ever come across.”

Ah, Obama is the candidate who is not being transparent! Thank you for clearing that up, Cohen. Here I was thinking having 12 years of his and Biden’s tax returns was pretty sweet, compared to the pocketful of receipts Romney offered up. That seems like it would be worth not donating to charity for too, right? Or is Romney getting a law degree from Harvard not as suspicious as Obama getting a law degree from Harvard, and how come? Mayhaps because Obama is the color of people we send to jail and Romney shits untaxed silver dollars?

In any case, Trump wants Obama’s report card, for “transparency,” but doesn’t much care about Romney’s grades, and if you want his transcripts, then you better turn over your transcripts, and, even then, no way. And don’t forget: NOBODY DONATE TO CHARITY. [Guardian]

 
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{ 161 comments }

nounverb911 October 25, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I thought Trump's favorite charity was himself.

MUHAMMED_PBUH October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

you'd think so, but he's donated $0 to his own charity, the Trump Foundation, for the past two years

the concept of charity is foreign to trump, similar to "taste", "dignity", etc.

Crank_Tango October 25, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Charity begins at home, and his charity is Yoooooge.

Gleem McShineys October 25, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Wait, isn't Charity his next wife's name?

shelwood46 October 25, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Possibly. She hasn't been born yet.

snowpointsecret October 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Trump's trump card backfired.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm

You have to admit, melanin isn't very transparent.

weejee October 25, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Even when it's a whiter shade of pale.

Biff October 25, 2012 at 12:36 pm

We agreed to keep the wives out of this.

bikerlaureate October 25, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I like my presidents to absorb less light.

OzoneTom October 25, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I want to see the rabies vaccination certificate for that thing on Trump's head.

nounverb911 October 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Richard Gere's ex-gerbil?

weejee October 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm

No butts about it.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 25, 2012 at 1:37 pm

It's dead so it cannot release rabies; that's the only way they could get it to lay down on that lumpy scalp…Trump's head I suspect consistency wise is like a rotten tomato.

Dr. Matt October 25, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I want to see the FLOTUS' Victoria Secrets credit card statements….it's a grave national security concern.

NorthStarSpanx October 25, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Oh, you heard about the Victoria Secrets bday October Surprise in Alaska?
http://www.andrewhalcro.com/dans_victoria_secret_

Redgyal October 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Gross. Ewwww. Nasty.

nounverb911 October 25, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I'd still like to see Trump's long form bankruptcy certificate.

chicken_thief October 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm

All of them, Katie.

PubOption October 25, 2012 at 12:17 pm

And how much he paid to discharge the bankruptcies.

orygoon October 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm

What am I bid for my college records? If this will get the bidding started, I'll admit to that C in freshman chem.

wapitiscat October 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I'll see your C and raise you an A in Archery and an I / C in Organic Chemistry.

finallyhappy October 25, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Well, I got a B in MesoAmerican Art and Archaeology in Grad school and for $10(cash- no checks) and a self-addressed stamped envelope- you can have the original of my grad school transcript- it is from 1975 so it is an antique

Barbara_ October 25, 2012 at 12:05 pm

The best tweet of the day about this was from DC Debby:
"Donald Trump's announcement about Obama was as anti-climatic as Marcus Bachmann's wedding night."

chicken_thief October 25, 2012 at 12:09 pm

BEST MAN LIBELZ!!!1!1!!!!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 25, 2012 at 1:38 pm

though not nearly as repulsed and awkward as the latter. Trump didn't make Barry put on a Steve McQueen mask and 'take it like a man' ala Bachmann's wedding night.

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Well, duh, Bamz can't be transparent because he's a blah… it's so much easier for a wah person like Trump to be transparent… because he's wah.

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm

"the president of the United States is the least transparent president that we’ve ever had."

Yes, black is generally opaque, especially when compared to pasty white, which can almost be translucent.

ph7 October 25, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Although quite pasty, I'm pretty sure Taft blocked more surface area.

Redgyal October 25, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You and libertylover tandem posted. How cute.

Dr. Matt October 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm

He's a blah, AND a government nig***.

eggsacklywright October 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Cretins getting an awful lot of airtime lately.

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"lately"?

eggsacklywright October 25, 2012 at 12:31 pm

You're right. I fail. (sniff)

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Aw, there, there… *pets ESW*

bikerlaureate October 25, 2012 at 12:55 pm

And they're going to lose young viewers of even average intelligence. Us oldz remember a media where ad revenue didn't distort the news reporting this much – and the whole industry is killing their own long-term viability in exchange for a fatter fourth quarter earnings report.

Callyson October 25, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I take it you're also a bitter former LA Times reader?

bikerlaureate October 25, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Bingo.

elviouslyqueer October 25, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Sad clown desperately needs sad trombone.

Beowoof October 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I think he needs a rusty trombone.

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Shoved up where it'd do the most good.

Trannysurprise October 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I, for one, support putting Stephen Colbert's balls in his mouth.

prommie October 25, 2012 at 12:27 pm

But remember Colbert's condition, no check, unless Trump mouths his ballsack to the satisfaction of both Colbert AND his ballsack.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 25, 2012 at 12:31 pm

You should update the theme song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meuAkRO5RJ8

tracyhasfun October 25, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I get the feeling that even Stephen is fed up…that was a ballsy move on his part. (sorry sorry sorry pun)

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Won't someone think of the children?

mookwrthwilson October 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Everyone should just start faxing trump their college transcripts and asking for money.

HELisforHEL October 25, 2012 at 1:37 pm

This is an awesome plan.
Hmmm, I can send my Art Trade School transcripts, since I didn't have the coin for no college learnin'. Something I'm certain Trump and Rmoney can understand.

EnnuiThereYet? October 25, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Is this where I get my Prozac 'script refilled?

ManchuCandidate October 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I would donate a grand total of 5 cents to know the secret behind Donald's hair. Is it a combover or is it a symbiotic alien who was rescued from the bankrupt rubble of Donald's Atlantic City Casinos?

ChillBill October 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Show us your Elementary School Certificate, Donald.

zumpie October 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Yes. He used the same educational techniques Mitty did: thuggery and bribery to get others to do his work.

Loch_Nessosaur October 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I want to know if Trump is going to take up Stephen Colbert's offer to teabag him for 1 million dollars.

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

That Colbert's a brave, brave man…

UnholyMoses October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Make that $1,000,025 once I send him a check …

NorthStarSpanx October 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm

You show me yours and I'll show you mine.

UnholyMoses October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I played that once.

My child support comes to an end in April 2013.

Texan_Bulldog October 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Donald Trump went to college?

ManchuCandidate October 25, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Bankruptcy College

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:19 pm

I would've guessed Klown Kollege.

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Wharton would rather it was not discussed.

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Hair College for Men.

boskolives October 25, 2012 at 1:17 pm

If you count having lunch in the snack bar, then yes.

finallyhappy October 25, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I went to GWU but could say I went to the Sorbonne and Oxford- had coffee at one and lunch at the other

Esteev October 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

His dad donated to one, still counts.

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I think Trump's been drinking from his Golden Shower Tower Waterfall again.

SorosBot October 25, 2012 at 12:10 pm

How the fuck is the President whose past was delved into in far, far more detail than any other presidential candidate in history back in 2008 "the least transparent politician we’ve ever come across"?

Texan_Bulldog October 25, 2012 at 12:11 pm

It's like he should have written a couple autobiographies about himself where he details drug use & admits to racial identity confusion. Oh wait…

Sue4466 October 25, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Because he's black? Seriously, I think using "least transparent" is just a not-clever dog whistle for "he's the least white president," and therefore, his qualifications are especially suspect and must be proven. Repeatedly.

And I have almost no snark on this. Because I'm sick and fucking tired of it. Some tool on Bill Maher said to Bill "You want Obama to be judged by Bush's standard?" I'd like to know why Maher didn't say, "Fuck yeah!" instead of making another joke about Bush being stupid.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

That tool was serial woman beater John Fund and as usual he had wingnesia. I mean that dildo spent eight years typing bullshit to make people think Dubya was secretly Einstein and now he insults him, typical wingnut. What pisses me off is Miffed IS getting the Bush treatment…I mean who in their right fucking mind thinks he "passed the commander in chief" test in debate three with that pathetic performance. Romney is getting treatment from the media just like Bush did in 2000 when he kept lying and saying the VAST majority of his tax cuts were going to people at the bottom and no one called him on it. How many outlets have pointed out the Iran does not border Syria…or that his tax plan is going to add trillions to the debt no matter what 'loopholes' get closed? or the fact that he seems to think he get away with saying he has a 'secret plan' for EVERYTHING? Fucking news media.

fatbob54 October 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

He's not black, some of their best friends are black. He's a Ni**er and there's a big difference, just ask them.

AddHomonym October 25, 2012 at 12:24 pm

It's one of those things that become true just by saying it. Pomo!

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Who's Mitt Romney's pastor?
Who did Mitt Romney buy his houses from?
What's Mitt Romney's social security number?
Was George really Mitt Romney's father?
When Mitt Romney arrived at Brigham Young, was it too late to gain access to his accomodation? Did he have to sleep on the street?

BeefHardcake October 25, 2012 at 12:45 pm

All snark aside, the question of George really being Mitt's father is a good one. The Mitt apple seems to have fallen so far from the George tree that it's hard to imagine them actually being father and son.

bikerlaureate October 25, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I can't imagine George Romney – twice-elected Governor of Michigan who said in 1963 that "Michigan's most urgent human rights problem is racial discrimination", later Secretary of HUD, who publicly opposed the Vietnam War in 1967 – saying anything like:

And so my job is not to worry about those people—I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Also can't imagine George Romney, who started the trend of releasing several years of tax returns by setting the bar at 12, explaining that "you people" don't need to know what's in the returns from 2009 because his opponent would only use them against him.

zumpie October 25, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Well, blah people are like that…so obviously everything is a lie

MissTaken October 25, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Least transparent = Black. Literally.

fatbob54 October 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Because these idiots haven't found anything incriminating yet. they knew Clinton was a crook and it only took them 10 years and 80 million dollars to prove he would lie to his wife about cheating. It' the same thing with Obama, no, he's not a Kenyan, or a Muslim, or a Socialist, but maybe Trump will discover that he has an overdue library book from Columbia and they'll be able to impeach him for that.

oenspiek October 25, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Because, shut up. Same as always.

DemmeFatale October 25, 2012 at 12:10 pm

OT, but important Nate Silver news: http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Isn't it about time NBC fired this loser?

I mean, how much embarrassment can they take?

FlownOver October 25, 2012 at 12:26 pm

You forget – it's NBC. We're talking Blushing Peacock here.

Crank_Tango October 25, 2012 at 12:30 pm

All of it, Katie?

zumpie October 25, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Have you ever watched "Revolution" or "Smash"???? And those are their successful shows. Humiliation is pretty much all they've got left.

tracyhasfun October 25, 2012 at 1:01 pm

OT Revolution SUCKS.

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

There's no way my wife would ever allow me to watch Revolution, and for that, I thank her.

We did watch Smash though. I rapidly tired of the media attempting to claim that the musical-within-a-musical idea was new. Far from the worst thing she makes me watch (that would most likely be Real Housewives of anywhere), but yeah, I can't say I thought much of the writing.

GunToting[Redacted] October 25, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Yeah, Fame libel.

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Not to mention A Chorus Line libel.

Beowoof October 25, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Hey Trump is just playing Celebrity Apprentice – The President.

Rotundo_ October 25, 2012 at 6:25 pm

NBC like "The Donald" evidently subscribes to the "Any publicity is good publicity" school of thought. It still has more class than A&E or TLC or TruTV or any of the other great cable networks that do their part to get us further on our way to fulfilling the vision of "Idiocracy".

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 12:11 pm

On Leno Obama joked about he and Trump growing up together in Kenya. “We had constant run-ins on the soccer field. He wasn’t very good, resented it. When we finally moved to America, I thought it would be over.”

Soccer factoid: Up until 50 years ago, soccer was always referred to as soccer in Kenya. Back then a young Kenyan-yellow-haired-combover-trustafarian-youth who made habit of angrily, poutingly taking his soccer ball home if the other kids did not let him have all the penalty kicks, hog the ball and the spotlight. He created so much division and pettiness on the field that his opponents and his own teammates all started kicking him square in the nuts.The Kenyan soccer kids became so obsessed with kicking this loud-mouthed-yellow- haired-fat thumbed-vulgarian in the balls during every match that they lost all interest in the competition, the score and team unity. And from that day forth, soccer in Kenya was known as kickball.

Grief_Lessons October 25, 2012 at 12:12 pm

You know who's transparent? Casper the Fucking Ghost.

BornInATrailer October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Oh, he should totally do gape videos.

Tundra Grifter October 25, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Several years ago a Blah gentleman of my acquaintence told me he was thinking of getting a tattoo.

"What are you going to get, " I inquired, "Casper?"

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 12:18 pm

*gasp* A GHOST!?!?!?! *runs away shrieking*

SorosBot October 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Now while I understand the college transcript thing, which stems from the racist belief that a black president can't be smart and the typical anti-affirmative action bullshit, where does the demand for the fucking passport applications come from? Is it an extension of birtherism, or something else? Besides making the whole thing impossible, since who the fuck would ever keep their old passport applications.

Sue4466 October 25, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I think it's birtherism–want to see his Kenyan issued passport. Because. Of course.

GunToting[Redacted] October 25, 2012 at 2:02 pm

It's this. They just KNOW that Bammerz will slip up and send in his Kenyan long form by mistake.

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:34 pm

It's birtherism plus "Hahaha I made them look at me and I'll never have to pay out the $5 million"

DCBloom October 25, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Right! Considering that his mom took him to Indonesia when he was in grade school… I'm sure he still has a copy of that…

chicken_thief October 25, 2012 at 12:13 pm

"Mr Trump’s not the president of the United States and he’s not running for the presidency,”

But he fake ran. Just because even the Teabaggers couldn't stand him exempts him from his own *rules*?!

EatsBabyDingos October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I am glad that Obama is not transparent. I do not need to see a small intestines and a large intestines working in concert with the colon. That is the GOP's steering committee's job.

UnholyMoses October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

The fuck?

Obma's not rushing a goddamn fraternity. He's running for the job he's already had for four years. What the holy fuck his grades have to do with any of this shit is beyond me.

Unless this just another "TEH BLAH GUY GOTT THRUE COLLIGE EVEN THO HE'Z STOOPIT!" bullshit ploy. In which case it's more of a bullhorn into a microphone than a dog whistle.

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I suspect a chimp of average intelligence could listen to 5 minutes of Obama talking and 5 minutes of Trump talking, then figure out which of them is "the smart one"…

Doktor Zoom October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

This "transparency" thing reminds me of the friend in grad school who was worried that, after having dated only black guys, she would be too grossed out to sleep with the white guy she'd just started seeing. "I mean…am I going to be able to see the veins in his dick?"

They ultimately ended up moving in together, so I suppose he must have turned over his college transcripts, if you know what I mean.

Also, why don't I have conversations like that anymore?

Yellerdawg October 25, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Because you stopped staying up late over a bong and bottle of tequila?

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:24 pm

As an extremely fair-skinned person, I call EXTREMELY FAIR-SKINNED PERSON LIBEL!

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Also, why don't I have conversations like that anymore?

Because you're not in grad school any more, most likely.

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Did you stop talking to womenz?

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:38 pm

BTW, My daughter got her SAT's back. Thanks for the extra points on the essay. ;-)

tracyhasfun October 25, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Because, old. Sorry.

Redgyal October 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Maybe she graded on a curve.

Joshua Norton October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

when Obama inevitably caves to this reasonable and not at all offensive request

I dunno. Part of me says Bamz will just laugh in The Donald's face. Part of me thinks that he'll cave so fast that 39 Chilean miners could be trapped.

We'll see.

docterry6973 October 25, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Naw, Bammerz is going to ignore this completely and enjoy watching the world laugh at The Donald. Trump better hope for super ratings this season, because his act is wearing awfully thin. Next stop: DWTS.

MinAgain October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I think the President should accept the offer and designate the Tennessee Democratic Party as the recipient of the money. God knows that the TDP is just pathetic enough to need charity.

Crank_Tango October 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm

If we were on the internet, which I don't think we are, we could all get together to decide which charity should get the money, like tailor swift singing at a deaf taco bell or something.

SayItWithWookies October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I don't know why our president is being so intransigent — why, everyone knows that when a white man asks a black man for his papers, the black man is required to oblige.

HRH_Maddie October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Do as I say, not as I refuse to do.

Tundra Grifter October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Karl Rover said some time ago Donald Chump would never run for President because he wouldn't fill out the Federal financial disclosure form (sorry, I can't remember the #).

Chump doesn't want to sign, under penalty of perjury, a financial statement that tells the truth. He isn't as rich as he claims. Duh.

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"He isn't as rich as he claims"

But is he as dumb as he seems?

Tundra Grifter October 25, 2012 at 1:59 pm

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
~ Albert Einstein

Steverino247 October 25, 2012 at 1:05 pm

This same problem kept Howard Stern off the ballot years back.

ttommyunger October 25, 2012 at 12:17 pm

…and believe you me, if anybody knows stupid, it's Donald Trump.

Schmannnity October 25, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I, for one, do not care what Donald Trump got in his Women's Studies sophomore classes, Gay Studies workshop in his junior year, nor Basketweaving: Hair Solutions for the Future? as a senior.

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:19 pm

You know, it's like Sarah Palin and Donald Trump and all the Plastics on Faux Nooz just woke up and realized that there might just be some people out there in voter-land that didn't realize that the President was black.

HELisforHEL October 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Wait, what?

Blueb4sinrise October 25, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Pathetic.

neiltheblaze October 25, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Trump's a chump – but he only uses other people's money.

Sue4466 October 25, 2012 at 12:21 pm

To be fair, once Trump gets the college & passport records, he'll let the whole issue go. Just like he did once Obama published his birth certificate.

PubOption October 25, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I'm surprised he's not trying to find Barry's reports from that Madrassa in Indonesia.

Fox n Fiends October 25, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Is it me or has the wingnut frenzy gotten more deranged in the past two weeks? Obama could say "the sky is blue" and these psychos would parse it into a conspiracy against red states in about 30 seconds.

Esteev October 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

So you're saying Obama should employ some reverse psychology?

Obama: "Let's start a war with Iran!"
GOP: "Hell no! We must cut the bloated defense budget and refocus our intelligence efforts in the region."

I don't think I'm willing to try that.

Crank_Tango October 25, 2012 at 12:27 pm

OK, so how do WE work this, do we pair off on here and harass each other for transcripts and/or dickpics?

Yellerdawg October 25, 2012 at 12:27 pm

In Hades, Donald Trump and Sarah Palin would be sentenced to forever sit face-to-face screeching at each other. Periodically, a demon would muss Don's hair, or make Palin read something.

MegPasadena October 25, 2012 at 1:59 pm

It might not be a punishment for Palin, considering she once drove a long way to see Ivana Trump. So she might have dreamed about being Trump's next wife. Also, we all know Sarah loves to read People Magazine and National Enquirer.

Yellerdawg October 25, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Just until her lips get tired.

FlownOver October 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Why does the democratic process weed out many obvious assholes while letting others [*cough* RomneyRyan] through?

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?

HELisforHEL October 25, 2012 at 1:58 pm

For the republican party, they have to grade on a curve.

spends2much October 25, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Next stop for The Donald: Shaving his head (the world says thanks in advance, by the way), attacking cars with umbrellas, and getting out of cars with no underwear on.

LibertyLover October 25, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Next thing you know, Donald will resort to cutting himself in a desperate plea for attention.

Blueb4sinrise October 25, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Start with………………?

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I could live with that.

zumpie October 25, 2012 at 12:36 pm

No snark, but big confuse: passport application records? Granted it's been about 25 years since I got a passport, but I don't recall any "application records". The passprt agency would retain those and I would guess they'd remain confidential. I could've sworn (like with retaining pretty much any sort of ID document) you fill out a form, submit supporting documents and then get your document.

Who keeps copies of their passport or driver's license applications??

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Nobody, that's why Trump included them. That way he can relax in complete confidence that he'll never have to pay.

MissTaken October 25, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Not I. But I assume the State Dept keeps records of the passport applications on file somewhere in the cloud or some dingy basement just in case someone of Donald Trump's importance starts making totally not racist or insane demands just like these.

mrblifil October 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm

That's the poison pill in the request. La Donald is not really asking for the grade transcripts, he's stating specifically that he wants to see the country of origin on the application forms which of course the applicant relinquishes when he or she sends them to the institution to which they are applying. Because he knows he would have to ask Occidental College, Columbia, or Harvard Law for the applications, since they are the one's holding the files, and because he doubts they will be responsive, he is talking smack about the grades to suggest that the future President of Harvard Law Review was a shitty student. Did I mention Donald Trump is one of the most disgusting people in existence?

Pithaughn October 25, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Obama is certainly guilty of one thing, Being president while Black. Ask any president of a college debating club who is black about this, they know.

lulzmonger October 25, 2012 at 12:50 pm

"Do as I say, not as I'm avoiding indictment for."

Steverino247 October 25, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Anything to feed the narrative, I guess.

boskolives October 25, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Does Trump's mouth look like a penis was just removed, or is just that time of the year?

LibrarianX October 25, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I'm holding out for video documentation of Trump tying his own shoes – unassisted.

Incitefully_Joe October 25, 2012 at 1:31 pm

In other news, this Allred thing about how Romney maybe lied under oath about Staples's prospects before immediately cashing in after his buddy's divorce was finalized. Sure seems like Romney has basically no compunctions about lying where money is involved, or something.

If Romney were non-spray-on-brown, we might have to actually scrutinize his tax statements; fortunately he's white, and that means that we can take his pinky-swears all the way to the bank*!

*The bank will then chop this Romney promise into tiny pieces, bundle it together with other chopped up Romney promises, then sell them off as AAA-rated financial securities. Investors will, instead of buying these bundles, buy insurance bets on said bundles of promises (despite not owning them) with massive leverage and make a huge profit.

MegPasadena October 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Obviously, he means black is the least transparent color ever!

Redgyal October 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Obviously the problem here is that no one asked the pilgrims for their documentation when they landed. If they did we wouldn't be having this conversation.

thejazzmonger October 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Here's an alternate deal. Release the Obama transcripts in return for a photo of Donald Trump with his hair down.

glamourdammerung October 25, 2012 at 3:25 pm

And again, Trump got fired from Trump place.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/23/the-dona

Jukesgrrl October 25, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Franklin Roosevelt must have been super-transparent because no one could see his wheelchair.

mrblifil October 27, 2012 at 5:13 pm

To be fair to the spokesperson he may have been feeling the effects of the genital clamps and sensory deprivation techniques at the time of the interview.

bibliotequetress October 27, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Trump is right. It is stupid. What sort of moron would ask him to provide his sch… oh.

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