You know all those times when there’s a negative story about someone, and somewhere in the middle there’s a little paragraph about how Shitty Old So-And-So refused comment for the story? Like, because there’s nothing intelligent to say and no legitimate justification for whatever the story’s about?
Donald Trump’s spokesman, much like the Man Himself, does not have this impulse.
We’re talking, of course, about the Trumpster’s statement yesterday that he would donate $5 million to charity if Barack “The Stupid” Obama would release his college records and passport information, because withholding charitable donations for racist political purposes is not only Trump’s style, it’s patriotic.
Bad news, though. It looks like, even when Obama inevitably caves to this reasonable and not at all offensive request, we won’t get to see Trump’s transcripts.
The Guardian was writing a story about it, as news sources frequently do, but they took it a step further, as news sources less frequently do: They asked Trump’s office if they would be releasing the Don’s school records, or if he’s exempt from suspicion because his being white means he actually deserves things. We added that second part, but we think it was probably implied.
Anyway, how did Trump’s people respond, to someone requesting his school records? “It’s a stupid request.” Obvi.
Tell it, Adam Gabbitt:
“I tell you what, he’ll provide them to you when you provide yours to him,” said Michael Cohen, executive vice president at the Trump Organization and special counsel to Trump, in what began as a friendly encounter.
I readily agreed to the deal, and offered to provide my college records and passport-application records to the Trump office for inspection. That seemed to prompt a change of heart.
No kidding! That guy wants to walk back a very stupid thing he said to a person who was writing it down on the internet? How did he get out of it?
“But what’s your point? Mr Trump’s not the president of the United States and he’s not running for the presidency,” Cohen said. [...]
“I think what you’re doing is you’re, whether you’re trying to be funny, intentionally or not, actually it’s a stupid request on your behalf,” he said. “It’s trying to poke fun at the fact that the president of the United States is the least transparent president that we’ve ever had. He may be the least transparent politician we’ve ever come across.”
Ah, Obama is the candidate who is not being transparent! Thank you for clearing that up, Cohen. Here I was thinking having 12 years of his and Biden’s tax returns was pretty sweet, compared to the pocketful of receipts Romney offered up. That seems like it would be worth not donating to charity for too, right? Or is Romney getting a law degree from Harvard not as suspicious as Obama getting a law degree from Harvard, and how come? Mayhaps because Obama is the color of people we send to jail and Romney shits untaxed silver dollars?
In any case, Trump wants Obama’s report card, for “transparency,” but doesn’t much care about Romney’s grades, and if you want his transcripts, then you better turn over your transcripts, and, even then, no way. And don’t forget: NOBODY DONATE TO CHARITY. [Guardian]