fatal attraction

Hero Maryland Pastor: Vote Against Gay Marriage Or You Should Die

The Lidless Eye don't wanna see none of that gay stuff.So there’s this Maryland referendum coming up for a vote on November 6, see, and it’s about letting gay people marry each other. You know, so they can get those sweet tax deductions, and visit each other in the hospital, and share health insurance, and commit publicly to the one they love — all that cool stuff the straights get, for being straight.

The ballot measure is 96 words long. The first 25 are about how Maryland is gonna let people marry whomever they want, because Freedom, and the last 71 words are about how churches don’t have to change anything or marry any icky gays or even talk to them, also because Freedom.

Churches, however, are not happy about this anyway, and groups like the Maryland Marriage Alliance are all like “gross, ew, ew, lesbians, ew, Jesus would have haaaated you guys.” And they have a friend! His name is Derek McCoy, and he is a pastor, and he thinks gay people (and their friends!) should… well… die.


Tell us, Baltimore Sun, how are folks using their First Amendment rights today?

Anderson read from a portion of the Bible that refers to homosexuality. “Those who practice such things are deserving of death,” Anderson said, reading from the Bible.

FINALLY, someone with the courage to point out what other anti-equality activists dance around on their big work boots: If you believe unequivocally in the Bible, you can’t just not want gay people to get married, or civil unioned, or made out with. You have to think they should die. Which is, whoa, a bummer, man, but thank goodness Ours is a Loving and Compassionate God, right?

To review: Getting raped and impregnated? A gift from God! Two people falling in love and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together? Ah, we should kill those people. That wasn’t God’s plan. God’s plan can only go undefended when bad things happen to women.

But wait! There are more people destined to die at the hands of the Great Good Lord! From a video of the panel, courtesy of gay rights blog Good As You, we have McCoy explaining why we must vote against gay marriage:

“‘Those who practice such things are deserving of death,” he said. “But — watch this — for those who also approve of those who practice these things. If we don’t vote against it, then we are approving these things that are worthy of death.”

There are then heavy nods of agreement and one dude yelling “Preach!” because he is so filled with the spirit of the Angel of Death.

So, just so you know, People In Favor Of Equal Rights, you deserve death for not saying gays deserve death. It might be hard to keep it all straight, but you have to pay close attention so as to not accidentally deserve death.

Anything else?

Separately, he also said approving same-sex marriage could “open up a back door” to legalizing prostitution, incest and bestiality.

First order of business: Props to reporter Annie Linskey for working a reference to “back doors” in a story about gay marriage.

Second order of business: We have been converted! What a convincing argument. Surely, we can all agree on this point, right? If we let gay marriage pass, the Fido-boinkers win. Won’t someone think of the puppies? Also, two people getting married is nothing but a road to hookerdom, and we must fight hookerdom at every turn.

You know, for freedom. [Baltimore Sun]

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240 comments

  1. Madfall

    I'm getting damn glad that I only have to go back to Maryland very ocasionaly to visit my fiancee's family. I don't think I'd want to live there.

    1. ph7

      C'mon – we got good wackos, too, hon!

      John Waters, Divine, Edgar Allen Poe, Babe Ruth, David Byrne, Pecker.

      Even Spiro Agnew was kinda funny.

      Plus, crab cakes, brisket sandwiches, snow cone machines, and a dependable democratic majority.

        1. DustyBowlBlues

          Are they still owned by that labor lawyer rich dude? Because that's why I'm an Orioles fan.

    2. superdave

      I've been living in Maryland for a dozen years and am very happy here. It's one of the more reliably blue states. I think the marriage proposal is going to pass. IIRC it will be the first state to vote for gay marriage, as opposed to having it enact via the courts.

      Sure there are wacko wingnuts here, but that's true everywhere.

    3. outragedcitizen

      Idiots like McCoy and the Maryland Marriage Alliance aside, Maryland is for the most part sane and really not that bad a place to live. We almost always vote Democratic, (with the exception of Erlich when he was running against Townsen, but I mean, come on, even a Rethug was better then the Glendening machine), and civil rights for all seem to be the norm rather then the exception.

      1. Dudleydidwrong

        Yes, but that bunch was mostly interested in finding gold (good luck, there, Cap'n Smith!). The Mullah Majority moved in en masse in 1620 and replenished themselves many times thereafter.

    1. actor212

      Jan. 20, 1981

      I often wonder whether, if he lived and was sane this long, Ronald Reagan would regret signing a deal with the Devil the way he did.

  2. snowpointsecret

    Separately, he also said approving same-sex marriage could “open up a back door” to legalizing prostitution, incest and bestiality.

    Maybe he should worry more about beastiality being legal in 13 states.

      1. Incitefully_Joe

        Right, there was that patriarch who totally banged his (veiled) twice-widowed daughter-in-law, thinking that she was a prostitute, and he left her his symbols of office, to prove that he was totally good for the sheep he owed her, and then later he found out that said daughter-in-law was preggers out of wedlock, and was going to put her to death for promiscuity and then she was like, "the guy who banged me left me gave me this staff and cloak and OH LOOK THEY BELONG TO YOU SO NOW WHAT." And it was basically a cross between your standard Shakespeare/sitcom comedy of errors, and Jerry Springer, with an extra dash of Patriarchal sexual double-standards thrown in for good measure.

        And that's the story of why masturbation and condoms are both sins.

  3. memzilla

    "Give me Sodomy, or give me Death!"

    Hmmm. Catchy, but a little final. Tell Marketing to schedule a focus group, though, just to be sure.

    1. stly92

      Hmm, I went to a fundamentalist high school, maybe i can parse this:

      …no. just the killing. see, a person of the same sex can't make his or her victim have a rape baby, so no God gift.

      Wait a second… Maybe if it was a female on female rape and the perpetrator had a turkey baster full of her brother's Semen! Then there would be a rape baby!

      Get Pat Robertson on the phone! I think I've figured out how to reconcile homosexuality and the bible! RAPE BABIES FOR ALL!

    1. snowpointsecret

      You mean they're getting policies by slamming on the keyboard? No wonder I can't make sense of any of it.

    1. CommieLibunatic

      I heard something on KPCC earlier about how Shari'a is itself rather vague, so that statement would actually hold water.

        1. stly92

          That's the thing: they can't be literal about the Bible.

          Like the creationists: read the first two chapters of Genesis literally. In chapter 1, God creates the world in 6 days, yadda yadda, yadda. But then, in chapter 2, verse 4, God gets Romnesia, forgets he created stuff, and then just starts creating the world again, only this time he does it all in one day and in a totally different order. Creationists have to totally ignore this to believe in creation.

          Not too mention that in Genesis 3:24 God kicks adam and eve out and places a sword to keep them from coming back. A sword. a fucking sword, keeping in mind, adam and eve are the only two people on earth and there have been no wars yet and they were naked layabouts and God had to make their clothes for them. meaning, it would have made as much sense to adam and eve if God had put an AK47 there, as they have equally no idea what either is.

    1. zumpie

      Yum, I was planning on making crabby patties for dinner 2night.

      Also, too, garments of different fibers—-all cotton/polyester blend wearers shall burn in eternal hell!!!

    2. AngryBlakGuy

      …well we are going to have a bad ass party in the 7th ring of hell!!! All the buttseks and lobster/shrimp that you can handle!

        1. AngryBlakGuy

          …of course, I am pretty sure the entire company of Abercrombie and Fitch will be there. So we will be some well dress mofo's!!!

      1. stly92

        Hell is basically Red Lobster during Never Ending Shrimp and a more relaxed attire code? I could get on board with that.

    3. finallyhappy

      I told one old lady yelling at me about sin and HOMOSEXUALS going to hell about shellfish and cheeseburgers- and told her she needed to read all the laws not just the ones her preacher wants her to be hateful about

  4. Beowoof

    The Angel of Death does seem to be on call for these guys if you do anything they don't like. However, if God doesn't like gay people why does he keep making them. Discuss.

    1. stly92

      Abusive Father Theology. God is constantly calling us little shits who fuck everything up and is soooooo sorry he made us in the first place, but hey, He's willing to forgive us if we just admit we're clueless fucks and follow all his contradictory rules without question, and especially never call him on his shit.

  5. Tequila Mockingbird

    It's amazing how preachers cherry-pick the sins they care about. All this energy about same-sex marriage, but adultery gets a pass. Gee, I wonder why?

    1. SorosBot

      And the somehow remain quiet on refusing to help the poor, even though Jesus was big on condemning people for that; the sex not so much.

    2. AngryBlakGuy

      …just imagine what they would say if there was gay marriage adultery?! Their head s would melt like Raiders of the Lost Ark!!!

        1. Disassembly

          No joke — when I watched that on YouTube I first had to sit through a commercial from the Mormon church.

    3. stly92

      King Solomon's Pimp hand theology: The Bible is full of rule's, but if you're a "Strong ManahGod" you know some of those rules were made to be bent. Especially as they apply to Penis. (Vagina never gets to bend the rules.) I Kings 11:1-7

  6. SorosBot

    Well the Lord of the Rings is a much better written and consistent book than the Bible, and a better guide to morality.

    1. sewollef

      But you know, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien CBE, was as gay as a lamplighter…. and English.

      And as my wife says when she's pissed at me, "It's a fine line between English and gay."

        1. delaney_blom

          You said it!

          If I have to hear another limey twit's version of "My Favorite Things," I'm going to go crazy.

      1. doloras

        Sorry to derail the snark train, but… Tolkien? Gay? Really? Exactly whom is he supposed to have buttsechsed, or are you basing it all on the homoerotic themes in LoTR, which is all about idealized male bonding and the feudal master-servant relationship? Just nipping a dumb meme in the bud before it gets going.

    2. AngryBlakGuy

      …I prefer to believe in "talking snakes" and "immaculate conception", rather than "hobbits" and "walking/talking trees". Just saying!

    3. Incitefully_Joe

      You say that, but which one one of those two books says that someone can be innately evil just because of their race?

      ¡¡op ɯǝɥʇ ɟo ɥʇoq ¡uoıʇsǝnb ʞɔıɹʇ

  7. Oblios_Cap

    thank goodness Ours is a Loving and Compassionate God, right?

    I did not know that there were any of those.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      I really wish these folks would be more specific about this "God" person. Are they referring to Odin? Zeus? Maybe Osiris? None of these strike me as Loving and Compassionate. Then again, this bearded sky-Gandalf doesn't seem to fit in either.

      1. stly92

        Short version: By "God" they mean a composite of the Babylonian gods El Elyon and Yahweh, the former the head of the pantheon, the latter the God of war. ancient israelites pushed a campaign saying they were one and the same. Sometime later, the being may have impregnated a mortal and created a demigod Greek mythology style, and then after much arguing decided demigods shouldn't be a thing so the demigod was just El Yahweh in disguise.

        Obviously.

    2. CommieLibunatic

      I've heard that Allah is forgiving and understanding. I guess, like everything else in this Brave New Reality, it depends on who you ask.

  8. bikerlaureate

    If we don’t end the federal tax exemption for churches, then we are "approving" this hatred.

      1. KeepFnThatChicken

        No. Islamic fundamentalists kill you for being an infidel. Here, you have to endure Christian bullshit for years and years and years.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      I can guarantee you that if it ever comes to having to decide whether to give up the tax exemption for religious groups or end butt sechs, one or the other but not both, they'll change their views on butt sechs so fast they will run out of K-Y.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Look, admittedly, I haven't read the Bible's chapter on "buttsex and you" but, IS sodomy a no-no all around? I am just trying to figure out what the rules are before someone gets killed.

    2. actor212

      It's true. If more women did teh buttsechs, there'd be fewer fags. I know I've often thought about switchhitting because my gal won't spread them cheeks.

  9. ph7

    "Those who practice such things are deserving of death”

    You mean those who intentionally make fellow humans feel less than human? I agree.

    1. zumpie

      That's easy. We let an Evil Kenyan Muslin Usurper Blah dude get illegally elected to God's most favoritist country. Duh.

        1. zumpie

          There are, in fact, already posters on yahoo pointing out how racist all Dems are for saying that was racist.

    2. PsycWench

      If you saw these kinds of people advocating this crap in your name, you'd be in a pissy mood too.

    3. stly92

      Short answer: He and all his followers are itching to get this long-gestating "project: Armeggeddon" under way, And for that to happen we need Israel to get into a nuclear war with someone so God can throw his weight around and we can get the end times rollin'. But confirmed Antichrist Obama would rather there not be a nuclear war in the middle east, so he's just a big fucking buzz kill.

    4. DustyBowlBlues

      Because these assholes keep screwing up the message she thought her son had been perfectly clear on.

  10. elviouslyqueer

    I do so love how people think that a book transliterated over 2,000 years ago by a bunch of polygamous penis-bearers is going to be literally relevant to making governmental policy today.

    1. One_who_wanders

      I initially read polygamous as polyamorous and wouldn't that make the bible better reading material?

      1. SorosBot

        Why do you think Judas betrayed Jesus? He was all jealous after the big man shifted his affection over to Peter.

    1. zumpie

      Not Paul (Saul) who he actually never met (and is the basis for all this stupidity)…

      Maybe Thomas, to assuage his doubts???

  11. Hera Sent Me

    It's almost a shame that these people's imaginary friend is just that. It would be worth going to hell for being a heathen just to see the looks on their faces as they joined me for making Jesus seem like a total douche.

  12. snowpointsecret

    Anyone saying that gays should be killed should be sentenced to an eternity in the IntenseDebate moderation queue.

    1. finallyhappy

      Well, if you are interested, the two motels at Georgia and 13th seem to have something going on based on police reports.

    2. AngryBlakGuy

      …uh, yeahhhhh! There are plenty(and I mean plenty) of women employed in the oldest profession in the Washington/Baltimore area. At least, that is what I heard.

  13. asterixaverni

    Wasn't there this dude, who showed up like 2000 years ago, and said like love one another and said that he was the good news, the old ways were dead and everything was forgiven?

    Or was that just the hippie musical version?

    1. PsycWench

      Next thing we know, you'll be telling us he hung out with poor people and provided free medical care.

    2. actor212

      Nah. You're thinking of the guy who got nailed to a tree for saying it would be nice if we were nice to each other.

      This is about Republican Jesus.

  14. weejee

    Well the Fido-boinkers (those who spend most of the day f**king the dog, so to speak) are already on-board with the Koch suckers. Now this makes purrfect sense so the kitties toss confetti and cheer. BTW the missus & I have already voted for festive marriages here in Washington, so guess we should be looking for the Nazgûls when walkin' home??

  15. PsycWench

    None of these people ever seem to think that if God wanted gays to die, he wouldn't need a bunch of fat preachers to help him.

    1. GhostBuggy

      He does keep sending those hurricanes and shit. Never mind that his aim seems to be terrible. Like Carlin said, if this is the work of a supreme being, I am not impressed.

      1. shelwood46

        When I was a kid, I thought if there was a God, he was a lot like Col. Henry Blake, well-meaning but completely inept.

  16. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    First the Blacks get uppity, and we have to allow a Kenyan to be president. Then the ghayez get uppity, and we have to allow sex with dogs. What's next, women allowed to control their reproductive systems? Do you think that is what God wants?

  17. FakaktaSouth

    All right all right, Will someone then explain how we reconcile "thou shalt not kill" being right there in the Top 10 list of things God will get you for AND getting to kill gay people? Is there an asterisk I just never noticed? I know it is easy to follow all of the rules in the Bible because it is the inerrant word of God, and never contradicts itself, so I know there is an answer here. Anyone?

    1. DCBloom

      It's easy really. Once upon a time there was a bunch of tribes. Some of the elders realized that the only way to survive was to unite under one god. So, they merged all their crazy little taboos (mostly about bacon & buttsechs). Luckily they gave future generations an out.

      It was obvs that no one could follow all those cray rules, so they prophesied a guy who would save them from all that stuff.

      Then Jesus came along and said, guess what, god will still love you as long as you love thy neighbor. That is why Christians can eat shrimp and not get circumcised.

      Unfortunately, few Christians read their bible as a book. They just cherry pick the stuff they like.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        See, I would have ALWAYS been a dissenter I suppose, cause having a Bacon&Buttsechs tribe sounds way funner than making them off-limits, no? and I bet they'd have killed them all first? Fuckers, man, just, fuckers.

    2. stly92

      No joke, wingnuts insist that "thou shalt not kill" is a mistranslation, and it should read "thou shalt not murder." I hate to admit it, but they may have a point, considering that elsewhere there are a shit ton of circumstances where the Bible says it's okay to kill.

      1. MosesInvests

        It's not just wingnuts. "Lo tirtzhach" means "don't murder". Even flaming liberal pinkos like me would agree that there's such a thing as justifiable homicide-self defense, anyone? FWIW, 2000 years ago Jewish tradition made the death penalty for all practical purposes impossible to implement. To wit: capital crime had to be witnessed directly by at least two unimpeachable witnesses, who were required to warn the perp beforehand that he was about to commit a capital offense, and perp would have had to say "Yeah, I know, but Imma do it anyway".

  18. jodyleek

    So, let me get this straight (ha ha straight!!) – I have to worship this god and follow his silly rule about not loving gays because if I don't I will die and be put into the pit of fire. If, however, I do follow this silly rule, then I will get to spend eternity with the likes of Pat Robertson and Michele Bachmann? Put me on the waiting list for hell, please.

  19. HempDogbane

    I'm listening to Minnesota Public Radio's show on the history of the Gay Rights battle in MN right now. A minute before I read this Wonkette post they were playing Senate Minority Leader Dean Johnson speaking on the Senate floor in favor of the Human Rights amendment, and they told how this rural legislator brought along several other reluctant votes. He said "Minnesotans are scared. Senators are scared. Dean Johnson is scared. But this is the right thing to do." Spoken by a Republican, Lutheran pastor. Naturally, he's not a senator anymore.

    Edit: now they're introducing the One-L character.

  20. SayItWithWookies

    The poor religious fanatics must feel horrible that they've failed to keep Americans hewing to the biblically accepted practices of rape, genocide and slavery and are instead turning to such base notions as civil rights and cooperation. I really wish they'd start blaming themselves more, however.

  21. BlueStateLibel

    The Bible also says adulterers should be stoned to death. Which would wipe out half of the Republican "leadership."

  22. facehead

    Right, if we let men marry men, next thing you know men will marry cabbage. If you knew how much cabbage I ate last night, you'd understand how offensive that is.

    To be on the safe side, let's just get rid of marriage altogether, because it can only lead to gay marriage, and then cabbage marriage, and then … o who am I kidding, cabbage is the worst.

  23. LibrarianX

    If we ban smoking, then people will start taking soft drugs and then move onto hard drugs, and the crime rate will go up and up. We should therefore prevent crime by allowing smoking.

  24. One_who_wanders

    There are a number of Pastors appearing in ads for the ballot initiative as well and it is widely expected to pass.

  25. BaldarTFlagass

    I call you on the telephone
    The party says that you ain't there

    When a man asked who's callin'
    I said, "Just tell 'em it's a back door love affair"

    1. HempDogbane

      Watch him kick tonight on Thursday Night Football. The "Yes" people (which in Vikingland is "No" on gay marriage, in the Constitution) recruited a former Vikings lineman to record a message to counteract Kluwe's position.

  26. Goonemeritus

    And what behavior does the good pastor practice that would earn him a Leviticus based stoning?

  27. BaldarTFlagass

    "Also, two people getting married is nothing but a road to hookerdom, and we must fight hookerdom at every turn."

    And what about hookwormerdom?

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Maryland, definitely. Because of delicious crab cakes.

      DEIT: Ohhhhhhhh. I SEE what you did there.

      *applauds*

        1. finallyhappy

          In Iowa you can eat a gigantic Machine Shed Cinnamon bun. One might be big enough for a small wedding cake

    2. kyeshinka

      If you're looking to get stoned, maybe not Iowa. An eighth runs about $25 now. Damn fuel prices.

  28. snowpointsecret

    Jesus thinks this man is so wrong that he's sending a hurricane to prove it.

    Okay I really just wanted a Hurricane Sandy reference, admittedly…

  29. pdiddycornchips

    The lord works in mysterious ways. Or maybe this guy is just a bigoted dickhead. Or both could be true,

  30. MiniMencken

    I'm still sticking with the Old testament, as in Proverbs 18:6 — "A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes."

  31. stly92

    Meh, not that hard to keep straight. Any decent double speak filter will do. Good and compassionate mean hateful and unforgiving, freedom means slavery, life means death, and death also means death. (that's how you know your double speak filter is decent. It's not about opposites, it's about how every thing leads to death and oppression.)

  32. JustPixelz

    When they cite Sharia Biblical Law to condemn the non-heterosexuals, I don't know why they don't also demand stores be closed on Sunday.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Well, the "Sabbath" is actually from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, according to Jewish law, but closing stores and ceasing to sell liquor from Friday night to Saturday night went over like a pregnant pole vaulter. So the Christians said "Our Sabbath" is now Sunday. So they tried that. And they they got all confused about the meaning of Sabbath and finally, quietly so no one could hear, they said, "Fuck it! We're open for business." And capitalism reigned for ever and ever. Amen.

      In other words: money involved = screw the rules
      people involved = screw the people

  33. Joshua Norton

    legalizing prostitution, incest and bestiality

    Bestiality is always one of the first places their minds go with this shit. I get the distinct impression that all their pets and farm critters need to be provided with rape whistles.

  34. Terry

    I saw an ad on TV this week against the Marriage Equity Act that said if it passed, straight people who are against gay marriage could lose their jobs, be sued, or WORSE. It was in all honesty about the worst of the worst of political ads I've ever seen….and I spent a sizable amount of time living in Texas and Louisiana where politics is a blood sport.

    1. finallyhappy

      Terry, you need to just DVR! I haven't seen one of those ads- or signs(except on linefrom Maryland for Marriage Equality- showing us what the bigots are doing) although the Sobhani signs illegally placed around the county are pissing me off.

      1. Terry

        I normally do, but was watching the news. Sobhani's campaign ads are actually amusing. He's very earnest but just strings together platitudes into an incoherent mess.

        1. soojank

          He visited my class yesterday! His plan for rejuventing Baltimore is to knock down a blighted neighborhood (some part of Harford Ave., I think), rebuild new houses and have an organic, urban farm in the yards of all these houses. Then, people won't have buy food anymore and they can sell the rest to Whole Foods. The private sector will fund this program! I kid you not.

          I think poverty is ignored too much but somehow I don't think this is the solution.

          Actually, I'm going to see if he has this plan anywhere online.. this might be Wonkette-worthy.

  35. Incitefully_Joe

    The Gays should be prohibited from marrying, because Religious Freedom! (Except for the Unitarians, Quakers, Universal Church of Christ, Episcopalians, Lutherans, Reform and Reconstructionist Jews, Neo-Pagans…)

  36. delaney_blom

    They forgot that gay marriage leads to polygamy, too.

    And we all know what that leads to . . .

  37. bargal20

    Hmm…prostitution has been legal here in Melbourne, Australia, since 1994 but gays still can't get married. Maybe the two aren't connected by a slippery slope after all?

    No one touch "slippery slope", you racist bastards.

  38. FlownOver

    Exodus 21:7 (KJV):
    "And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do."

    I call bullshit. A. Lincoln/L. Ledbetter 2012!

  39. sullivanst

    So what the good pastor fails to mention, of course, is that Paul also said there were a lot of other behaviors that were worthy of death:

    Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

    It's almost as if Paul was saying that those who lack love and mercy are deserving of death too! What say you now, meddlesome Priest?

  40. barto

    And of course NOBODY on this very righteous panel of pious pontificators will EVER GET CAUGHT with a hooker/rent-boy/underage person/puppy/chicken/goat.

  41. docterry6973

    Oh, dear me. Must we, yet again, make a list of all the capital offenses in Leviticus? If we can't find at least three that would condemn the good pastor to death, I will be very disappointed.

    In my Biblical knowledge, I mean.

  42. lulzmonger

    Dead Hippy On A Stick had a name for these shitstains: Pharisee.

    Dude better be prayin' REAL hard that his book's a fairytale (heh), because if it isn't, he's got an extra-crispy future in store.

  43. Troglodeity

    Well, at least after I get fired from my employer because I voted for Obama, I won't have too long to suffer before I die because I voted for gay marriage.

  44. Blendergoathead

    It's okay, Mittens is going to make us all Mormons after we're killed – so none of this really matters. Rim jobs for everyone!

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