MIDOL ALSO TOO  5:44 pm October 24, 2012

Ladies In Uproar Over Time-Of-The-Month Science

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Put them on my wishlist pleaseHey fellow(ette) mom-bloggers! Has someone somewhere suggested that we have hormones, and they sometimes cause us to react or overreact or under-react differently at different times? Would you perhaps like to read a perfectly reasonable piece about some science that may or may not be flawed and then BLOW THE FUCK UP AT THE MESSENGER like a crack mom screaming at the neighbor kids that she’s about to loose her fuckin’ Rottweiler on ‘em?* Well, CNN reported on a new study today, in a totally fair blog post that succinctly explained the study’s myriad blind spots, and now the Ladiez of Twitter — ladies we honestly admire! — have gone totally raggo.

First, there is absolutely nothing in the CNN piece on Kristina Durante’s study on voting and ovulation that suggests that women are weak little creatures who need to be protected from themselves, or that they are slave to all that estrogen coursing through their silly brainplaces. It doesn’t say their ovulation makes them change their minds about their political beliefs or leanings. What the study shows is that women become firmer in their commitments to vote for their preferred candidate when they’re ovulating. If they’re liberal, they become more focused on voting for their liberal candidate. If they’re conservative, they become more committed to picketing abortion clinics for Rick Santorum. As CNN points out, a flaw of the study is that it doesn’t research men’s hormones, making it sound like women are more addlepated when in fact we all have chemicals turning us occasionally Bachmannite crazy. Suggesting that CNN is an asshole that needs boycotting because it reported on a new study seems to us … well, sort of reactionary and Bachmannite crazy!

One thing that people on Twitter especially have been focusing on is the perhaps inelegantly worded supposition that because women “feel sexier” when they are ovulating (which is perfectly true and presumably isn’t controversial) … well, something something something. See, that part of the study wasn’t actually science; it was the author’s supposition on why women reported being more committed to their candidates, and it wasn’t that clear and didn’t make much sense. If any of the ladies who are so mad about the piece have alternate theories on why women are over 20 percent more committed to voting for their preferred candidates during ovulation, they would probably be very interesting, and we would like to hear them!

(Ours is that since, yes, women feel sexier while ovulating, that translates to an increase in almost romantic affection for the people we’ve chosen to be our leaders, whether they’re alpha male or alpha female. Think how you feel about Barry or Hillz Clinton or Old Handsome Joe. Now think about how you feel about them on those days you just happen to feel like wearing a lot of jewelry, makeup, skirts and tank tops for no reason at all except you’re feeling kind of “kicky”! The author’s supposition — that liberal women ovulating want more gay marriage and birth control, and conservative women ovulating need to sublimate their desire to fuck any and everyone by voting to put a conservative patriarch in place to restrain themselves — seems … half-baked. But STILL NOT OFFENSIVE.)

Yesterday, we got in trouble on Twitter for suggesting that a dude who was being bizarrely aggressive to us for SRSLY no reason at all was “on the rag.” He did not take kindly to our “selling out our gender” for a “zinger.” But of course we meant it gender-neutrally. Men have hormones too, and those hormones sometimes make them GIANT AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLES who are calling you “dumb and angry” for joking at them about fucking POGUES SONGS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. And you know what else? PMS exists. We have it on excellent authority. (Lindy West. And us.)

Nothing in CNN’s post was worthy of scorn, and the study itself is interesting science, even if the author’s conclusions may not have been actually borne out by the results she published. Ladies, ladies! Calm the fuck down! Leave the anti-science fol-de-rol for for the House Science Committee, where it belongs.

*How we know to send the kid to the corner store for Maxi Giants, and how he knows to do so without bitching lest we punch him in his stupid fucking face.

 
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{ 442 comments }

HempDogbane October 24, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I am unqualified to comment.

Maman October 24, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Finally, a smart answer.

barto October 24, 2012 at 6:49 pm

NEVER stops me

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 9:30 pm

That has to be a first on the intertubes, irregardless of the topic.

Nostrildamus October 25, 2012 at 1:43 pm

You don't seem to understand how the Internet works, son.

Fox n Fiends October 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm

This just lays the groundwork for Romney's "multiple wives" policy announcement in 2014.

Radiotherapy October 24, 2012 at 5:49 pm

BLOOD LIBEL!

LePiston October 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Rottie libel

Mumbletypeg October 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Crotch rottie

YouBetcha October 24, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Technically, it's Shed Uterine Wall Lining Libel, but who's counting?

Radiotherapy October 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

ENDOMETRIAL SLOUGH LIBEL!

BoatOfVelociraptors October 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Sexist! For the sake of gender equality I demand SMEGMA LIBEL!

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:10 am

I've been to Slough. It's a little ways outside Heathrow.

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 12:42 am

Hey, me too. Were you working for Amazon?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

The women who are upset are on the rag, obviously.

pinkocommi October 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Appears that some people are on their period….

Wile E. Quixote October 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Those gals would be a lot happier if they spent less time reading CNN and more time making sandwiches.

Callyson October 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Ironically, this is true.

valgal2342 October 24, 2012 at 10:28 pm

sandwiches? Am I not supposed to be making sammiches?

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:34 am

Where you been?

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 12:41 am

I needed to take a mental health break from following political news, it was just too goddamned depressing and frustrating.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 1:37 am

But you're back two weeks before the erection?

gullywompr October 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Fucking women, how do they work?

Disassembly October 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

77 cents for every dollar.

Maman October 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm

at least 20 hours a day

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 6:26 pm

With or without a wringer washer?

JustPixelz October 24, 2012 at 8:11 pm

A series of tubes, I believe.

Disassembly October 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Even Ted Stevens would appreciate that joke.

AngryBlakGuy October 25, 2012 at 4:40 am

…I believe Socrates and Plato asked this exact same question

IndianaKevin October 25, 2012 at 7:00 am

As did the other great Greek philosophers, Sophocles, Pericles and Testicles.

redarmyzombie October 25, 2012 at 5:05 pm

And the great Roman playwright, Biggus Dickus.

emmelemm October 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I'd comment, but I'm on the rag at the moment, and I'm afraid I might not be able to temper my sentiments.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Just don't vote for Romney while you are temporarily infected.

emmelemm October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I'm menstruating, not brain-damaged.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 24, 2012 at 8:27 pm

I don't know. Newt Gingrich insisted your kind was no good in the military because you were getting infected every month. I just think it sounds yucky.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Uh … (backs away) I b'leev "temper" is kinda wut the Editrix seems to be implying alla y'all's sentiments might be at right now. (runs out of the room)

shelwood46 October 24, 2012 at 11:31 pm

I am spending too much time on this site, because apparently our cycles are syncing.

poorgradstudent October 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm

It's great to get reminders that I can't stand the social justice warrior crowd almost as much as I can't stand the wingnuts, so I can at least kind of feel "non-partisan" or whatever.

Wile E. Quixote October 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm

How do they vote when they're clutching an aspirin between their knees?

LibertyLover October 24, 2012 at 5:58 pm

We vote against the men that suggested we put an aspirin between our knees.

Edit: Or just punch them in the gonads.

Geminisunmars October 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

With a lever.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Painlessly?

neiltheblaze October 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Very gingerly.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Just like Christy Brown, author of My Left Foot did, with his mouth.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Absentee. So the Man of the House can fill it out for them & they never have to bother their pretty lil' heads about any of it.

sbj1964 October 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Do some voting days not feel as fresh as other voting days? Just pull the string.I mean lever,and new Vagivote will help.

malsperanza October 24, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I got no comment on the subject, but that earring is killah. It's from someone's Etsy store, right?

DemmeFatale October 24, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Damn the post!
What the hell is that a picture of?!

(I think I'm gonna be sick.)

ChillBill October 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm

There is no such thing as being "on the rag," women. What you are actually doing is killing a potential zygote!

Maman October 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Probably with God's permission.

ChillBill October 24, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Part of "God's Plan"?

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

God has a plan? Sumbitch never even SHOWED it to us!

Biel_ze_Bubba October 24, 2012 at 6:40 pm

It's on a "need to know" basis.

viennawoods13 October 24, 2012 at 7:12 pm

And here I thought that was the Cylons.

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:46 pm

And this is exactly why Mittens has never showed us HIS plan. If it's good enough for God, it's good enough for Rmoney.

redarmyzombie October 25, 2012 at 5:14 pm

You see, he doesn't need to show it to You People…

DemmeFatale October 24, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Snark away, but you know some tea-baggy closet case is writing up the legislation right now.
I'll bet if I googled it, (I won't), I could find it.

Weenus299 October 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm

What does Sarah Palin have to say about this?

ChillBill October 24, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Dude, you are talking about somebody who (supposedly?) had a kid at 44! I don't think she knows how this shit works.

Geminisunmars October 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Do not invoke th……..aaarrrrrhhhhhle bbbaaaarrrrggghhhle

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Gem? Gem? WHERE ARE YOU?

weejee October 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Tard and feted?

NellCote71 October 24, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Hee, hee.

BornInATrailer October 24, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Sarah, like all Alaskan women, does not menstruate as defense against bears. Or maybe it is just the meth.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 24, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Depends on what time of the month you ask.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Same thing she has to say about everything:
"Me! Me! Me! Look at Me! Me! Me! Pay attention to Me! Me! Me!…"

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm

This deserves more upfists, because of truth.

Lascauxcaveman October 24, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Hormones, ovulation and PMS are terms that are unfamiliar to me. Could you come back and explain what they mean after you make me a sammitch? Attagirl.

NorthStarSpanx October 25, 2012 at 9:45 am

Those terms are unfamiliar to conservatives also too, that's why they just want all the womens to lay back and close their eyes.

nounverb911 October 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Man Coulter has never had that problem.

LibertyLover October 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Men have hormones too, and those hormones sometimes make them GIANT AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLES…

So THAT's Paul Ryan's Problem…

Geminisunmars October 24, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Pity. Testosterone poisoning.

Rotundo_ October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Paul would be an asshole even if he were a eunuch.

Barrelhse October 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Teabagger earrings.

Beowoof October 24, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Damn honey, you look great today. Would like to go out to dinner and maybe have magnum of red wine to help ease your tense mood.

Geminisunmars October 24, 2012 at 6:15 pm

gtfo….grrrrrr

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

You're married, I can tell.

I usually have some chocolate hidden away for those days.

Beowoof October 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I thought it might show, but wine by the case is a wise move.

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Hahaha, yes. I know this for a fact.

YouBetcha October 24, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Last time my husband pulled that stunt I was ovulating (so cranky for no fucking scientific reason), and three glasses of wine later, here I am with a fetal occupant. Fucking men.

Beowoof October 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm

And thus the method to the madness is exposed.

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:54 pm

What, another one? Does Wonkette have pregnancy-enhancing powers?

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Seems like one or the other of our ladies is "falling pregnant" every other day around here.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Two things are never fail cramps medicine; one is blackberry brandy, and the other one is weed.

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Not to be pushy, or nothin', but I have both. (leers helpfully at tessiee)

Dr. Matt October 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Oh for bloody hell.

LibertyLover October 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Needs less ovulation and moar contraception.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Men don't want to examine the science on what cranky, tubby, couch-potato whiners we become when our testosterone is low, so let's take the vote away from those hysterical women.

BornInATrailer October 24, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Or the science on what aggressive, confrontational, prone-to-violence-near-psychopaths we are when it is not.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

You know, the more I think about it, the Low Testosterone Middle-Aged Male is the Republican Base!

BornInATrailer October 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Maybe that also explains the tendency towards chicken hawk.

weejee October 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

All them chicken wings.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Let's you and ALL OF 'EM fight! I'll hold your coats.

BoroPrimorac October 24, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Young men are more likely to kill, rape or commit any number of horrible crimes, but it's women, with their crazy hormones, who are out of control.

Mojopo October 24, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I like you, Chet. When the Menstrual Army marches, I will make sure that you and yours are spared.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 7:28 pm

I for one welcome our new Vaginal Overlords!

IndianaKevin October 25, 2012 at 7:18 am

I like the sound of that. And the mental image.

SayItWithWookies October 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Periods are not a mystery. What's a fucking mystery is the combination of hormones that makes a person think it's perfectly reasonable to stop in a doorway at Target and have a conversation on their cell phone. I'd push the morons out into the street except the cars for some mysterious reason all stop at that crosswalk. It's a perfect storm of stupidity and reasonableness, all designed specifically to annoy me.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm

We get those in NYC on occasion: dolts who stop to yakk right on the fucking subway station stairs. After we trample them, they learn.

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Yes. Step right on their stupid talky face.

OneDollarJuana October 24, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I saw a study years ago about where people stop to have conversations. It's usually in traffic compression points, street corners, doorways, stairs, etc. Who knows why?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 24, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Best (worst?) example I ever saw was in the Five-Boro Bike Tour a while back. Due to construction, the route was compressed to a 12-foot wide pathway as we exited the Gowanus Expressway. Thirty thousand riders are trying to squeeze through, and guess where two nitwits decided to stop and yammer? These two inconsiderate dolts created an epic, 2-hour jam.

DocChaos October 25, 2012 at 12:51 am

Probably the same reason my wife always leaves the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the doorway.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:05 pm

The ones I really can't stand are the ones who sail right through the stop sign, yakking away — and yes, it is illegal here to talk on a cell phone while driving, but that doesn't stop them.

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:48 pm

It doesn't require cell phones. Consider how many people stop to regroup at the end of a fucking escalator.

AngryBlakGuy October 25, 2012 at 4:44 am

…I have found that a good sharp forearm to the back of the neck is excellent remedy for this!

sbj1964 October 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Women,always thinking with they're twats.Sound familar?

ProgressiveInga October 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

How do you make a hormone?…

Beowoof October 24, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Okay, I had to take the bait, don't pay her.

Boredw/Gravitas October 24, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Tell it a terrible pun, apparently.

Cleopatriot October 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Don't pay her!

I'll be here all week.

Negropolis October 24, 2012 at 6:19 pm

And I offer to you the question: How is babby formed?

Gleem McShineys October 24, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I was going to say something something Benghazi jive.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Pick her up in a Gland Rover!

(I know I used this before, but I like it)

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 7:31 pm

It's terrible! (hugs you)

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Play the whore-monica? Oops, that was meant for the Bill Clinton thread.

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 12:44 am

Kick her off of "Dancing With the Stars" and send her back to Arizona?

Nostrildamus October 25, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Put her on Fox.

OzoneTom October 24, 2012 at 6:03 pm

So when are the pollsters going to take the McClintock Effect into account?

rickmaci October 24, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Why do you think they are doing this "study". In the next election cycle the pollsters will be selling the candidates polling data that project which hygiene products women from each party prefer, track the sale of those products, and suggest the voting trends from all this hocus pocus, all for mega millions. The electoral process is out of control. It needs to be reduced to two months, one for each side to have a primary and one for a general election.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

"Menstrual Synchrony" was perhaps the finest Police album.

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Those days when I "just happen to feel like wearing a lot of jewelry, makeup, skirts and tank tops" are teh days when I tend to stay indoors, for the good of all humanity.

LibertyLover October 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm

… and Kid Zoom, too, I would imagine.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:25 pm

So that *wasn't* you on the "People of WalMart" site, then.

RufusTFirefly October 25, 2012 at 12:27 am

You sense their power but they deny you their essence.

Chet Kincaid_ October 25, 2012 at 8:44 am

Lana Wachowski, is that you?!

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 6:03 pm

What's next , CNN — Doctor Oz on the influence of homeopathy on ambidextrous Starbucks moms?

Callyson October 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

As CNN points out, a flaw of the study is that it doesn’t research men’s hormones

So, it violates a basic scientific principle…which might just suggest that it isn't worthy of being covered in the news, perhaps?

Fuck you, CNN.

docterry6973 October 24, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Back in the misty depths of time, when docterry was in grad school, it was noted that much psychology research conducted on male samples was routinely generalized to apply to men and women, while research conducted on female samples was only generalized to women. The more things change…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

So that guy from the earlier post was just hormonal when he yelled "NO ONE OWNS THAT DOOR"?

docterry6973 October 24, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Doubly so, if we count alcohol as a hormone.

orygoon October 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

"It's a notion whose only point is to delegitimize women's actual complaints and reduce us, yet again, to our stupid, stupid genitals."

An aside: I consider my genitals to be intellectually rather neutral. Main point: suggesting that I am (as a female) more ruled by my genitals than all the men I have ever known? There aren't enough chairs in the world for me to fall out of, laughing.

Cleopatriot October 24, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I think you win the internets today.

calliecallie October 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I think this is the reasoning that prompted them to deny us the vote in the first place. Along with the right to own property and other basic things. Hysterical women.

Fare la Volpe October 24, 2012 at 9:11 pm

It wasn't their fault your wombs would just get up and wander around your bodies like a lost child with his Daddy's credit card.

docterry6973 October 24, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Now, now. Everyone knows that men are paragons of reason.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

"I am (as a female)"

I always thought you were a guy person, but I guess I should have known better, since your avatar is a beaver.

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:45 pm

As a man, I also consider my genitals to be intellectually neutral, as in "lacking any intellectual traction". At almost 65, I'm pretty sure I would do, say, LiLo, if given the chance.

Subsequently, my brain would be embarrassed, but my balls would probably be high-fiving each other.

Sorry. We men have this hormone problem, you see…..

AngryBlakGuy October 25, 2012 at 4:47 am

…my penis has got me into many problems and I have medical bills, arrest record and plenty of psycho exes to prove it!

sbj1964 October 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

My brain says to vote for this guy,but my Vagina's leaning the other way?

ProgressiveInga October 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 6:15 pm

What a shithole HuffPo has become. It's sad.

Gleem McShineys October 24, 2012 at 7:17 pm

shithole

Wrong injection direction, dude!

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Must have a lot of free time in her molti palazzi.

GeneralLerong October 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I think that's some sort of medical condition when the vagina takes up yoga all on its own and assumes unlikely positions.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 6:08 pm

This is what happens when you let them write about science. You know, the morons.

Maman October 24, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I am not wearing these tank tops to be "kicky" I am wearing multiple layers because I can't control my body temperature whether I am ovulating or not.

BornInATrailer October 24, 2012 at 6:08 pm

tits (if you are ovulating) or GTFO

JadedPreppy October 24, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Romney is a bigger beyotch than I have ever been while bleeding or ovulating and there aren't enough hormones in the world to make me "pull his lever" come Election Day.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Although I bet $10,000 you'd "pull his lever" if it was attached to a tow truck and you were sitting at the wheel.

With votes, of course.

Disassembly October 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Middle Eastern women feel sexier when they're ululating.

Mumbletypeg October 24, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Needz moar knitted vaginas.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Uh … that shade of pink … (quease)

I call it "internal organ pink" (faint)

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm

For less patient souls, an origami vagina is quicker… http://www.drunk-fu.com/money/xxx/xxx/vagina01.ht

starfanglednut October 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

That's really kinda nice.

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 7:03 pm

If I knew you could knit vaginas when I was 16, I'd probably be a competitive knitter by now.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

knitted vaginas is my favorite riot grrrl cover band

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I'll see your knitted vagina and raise you a nipple baby hat:
http://www.nursingbraexpress.com/baby-nipple-hat/

gullywompr October 24, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Noting that female physiology can sometimes be a factor in decision making is not really a groundbreaking revelation. Speaking as a man, there have been many nights when my dick did all the thinking.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Sometimes it's the only thing that's thinking. Regrettably.

OneDollarJuana October 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Hence the long popularity of Sarah Palin with the righties.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Ha-HA!

NellCote71 October 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Best explanation I have heard in four long years.

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 12:47 am

Add Michele Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Megyn Kelly, Laura Ingraham, Gretchen Carlson, et al, to that list.

imissopus October 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Ladies, ladies, calm down! If you're all busy blowing up the intertubes over this stuff, how will you have time to get home and cook a nice dinner for your husbands?

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

HAHAHAHA … is it safe to laugh at this?

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 6:46 pm

It will be when Mittens allows more flextime so's women can go home to care for their famblies.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Not if they come home while we're laughing our asses off at them. That's not safe AT ALL.

Negropolis October 24, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Which is ironic, because all of the kids will be working their janitorial jobs at school late into the evening, and the husbands will be working their second or third part-time job at night.

starfanglednut October 24, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Republican family values at work.

imissopus October 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

If not here, then where? This. Is. WONKETTE!

Mojopo October 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Men run screaming from tampon-filled toilets like babies, and I want to stand up and say "I MADE THIS."

We could rule the world with only a mere suggestion of cramps and clots, but NOOoooOOOOOOO.

elfgoldsackring October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Maybe they're just thinking of the plumber's bill? Oh, I get it, you want an excuse to call that sexy plumber over…

Mojopo October 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Fuck Code Pink. My army will turn the streets red 5-6 days every month until you meet our list of demands.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:29 pm

(faints again)

DemmeFatale October 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Not just that, when I was breast-feeding my baby my (extremely disgusting) brother made the HUGE mistake of saying: "ooo, gross!"
I raced around the house squirting him in the face with boobs full of breast milk. You would have thought it was acid.
After years of torture, he was finally brought down by breast milk!!

Mojopo October 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Good for you. Women: These tools we have are not weaknesses to be hidden away. Weaponize your shit and we can change the world!

Fare la Volpe October 24, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Men learned how to weaponize their shit ages ago. It's like fucking Normandy in that john.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 8:09 pm

There's enough material there for an entire conference.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm

"'Tampon-Filled Toilets"? That's dangerous!

Well, our toilet went crazy yesterday afternoon
The plumber he says, “Never flush a tampoon”
This great information cost me half a weeks pay
and the toilet blew up later on the next day

Blew up the next day. Dayy-yay. Yaay-ay-ayyye. Booooom!

No wonder they're running away.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Sometimes you eat the bidet and sometimes it eats you.

NellCote71 October 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm

But the ducks get you in the end.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:12 am

This is a reply to this entire subthread.

You all are even weirder than I thought.

Congratulations.

HarryButtle October 24, 2012 at 6:14 pm

"…when in fact we all have chemicals turning us occasionally Bachmannite crazy. "

Nope. Even in my wildest acid-fuelled delirium, I have NEVER been Bachmannite crazy.

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

I assume you experienced generally less auditory and visual hallucinations as Bachmann during the same time-period also.

Native_of_SL_UT October 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm

There was that one time when I mixed tequila and mushrooms…

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 24, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Women, can't live with them, can't get them to dress up in tight, leather Nazi outfits.

–Emo Philips.

emmelemm October 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

You can if you pay them enough!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm

What's the going price?

emmelemm October 25, 2012 at 2:57 am

Whore Diamonds: All of them, Lionel.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Sez him.

imissopus October 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Limey Lizzie libel!

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 7:15 pm

I believe my friend Lizzie requires the gentleman to dress up in the Nazi outfit, unless you're a Negro Airman or a Rugged Jewish Partisan.

viennawoods13 October 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Men: can't live with them, can't do most positions without them.

Negropolis October 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I feel like I've walked in on a semi-private conversation I wasn't meant to hear. lol

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

If only more men felt that way, there would be no "bronies".

b[redact]opple October 24, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Trixie had a Twitter fight with Mobutu Sese Seko, who was actually being kind of a dick. Could happen to anyone, I guess.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Yeah, when all the LayDeez get together and start talking that girl-talk. That's when they send you out to mix the drinks so you won't hear any of it.

MissTaken October 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Trust me, I think with my vagina far less than most men think with their penises.

Native_of_SL_UT October 24, 2012 at 7:48 pm

See, that's the problem with you women, you only have one head to think with.

rocktonsam October 24, 2012 at 9:19 pm

so you think with your vagina,some?

gullywompr October 24, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Spoiler – it's not really what you'd call "thinking".

docterry6973 October 24, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Well, yes, but our penises think mostly about your vaginas. Surely that counts for something.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:39 am

I'm unsurprised, but kind of saddened, to hear that.

DahBoner October 25, 2012 at 8:42 am

"A woman's vagina is always right", right "happily" married guys?

snowpointsecret October 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Is it physically possible to be less likely for me to vote for Romney? This really is news!

Mumbletypeg October 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

♪ As loud as hell/ A ringing bell
Behind my smile/ It shakes my teeth ♫
.

Barrelhse October 24, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Tintabulation.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Love that song!

BornInATrailer October 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

You can tell a man made this study (because it is not a delicious turkey dinner).

Maman October 24, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Who got their earrings from the gals at Barbie Army?

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 6:55 pm
Mojopo October 24, 2012 at 6:19 pm

If only ONE woman could get into a Congressional hearing about reproductive rights, and yank a Heavy Day out of her cooter, and swing it over her head like a lasso, it would be game fuckin' over. "I made this and I do it monthly. And I live. When you can do that, we'll talk." Case closed. Everyone would run and never discuss things again.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm

This is the precise reason that I watch CSPAN.

Madam Killjoy October 24, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I like the cut of your jib!

deanbooth October 24, 2012 at 8:39 pm

I built it!

starfanglednut October 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Comment of the…. forever.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 10:34 pm

She's swingin' a sponge on the end of a string.

She's not Bad, she's just Genetically Mean. Dirty Blue Gene.

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

The Pogues are NOT TO BE JOKED ABOUT, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Negropolis October 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm

The who?

OT: Do you have any further posts up for tonight?

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Not I; I am allegedly "at work" tonight.

kingofmeh October 24, 2012 at 6:41 pm

"rum, sodomy, and the snark" would be a tremendous motto for wonkette.

emmelemm October 24, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Agreed 100%.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Seriously, don't joke about the Pogues. They'll take you out into the street, kick you in the Brains. But, you can go right through the revolving door and do it all again.

'Course, if you drop a button in the plate and Spew Up in the Church, you're on your own.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Are you and Goonemeritus dating now?!

MonkeyHamlet October 24, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Oh, ladies, can't you just stay in your binders and wait until you're called?

snowpointsecret October 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

CNN at least isn't as bad as Murdock, I guess. That's the best praise I can give CNN anymore, it's sad.

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Laurie Anderson would like to have a word with CNN.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Hello? Is anybody home? Well, you don't know me,
but I know you.
And I've got a message to give to you.
Here come the planes.
So you better get ready. Ready to go. You can come
as you are, but pay as you go. Pay as you go.

– from O Superman

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I came home today
And both our cars were gone.
And there were all these new pink flamingoes
arranged in star patterns
All over the lawn.
Then I went into the kitchen
And it looked like a tornado had hit.
And then I realized
I was in the wrong house.

BTWBFDIMHO October 25, 2012 at 12:20 am

wow, you read my mind.

oenspiek October 24, 2012 at 6:24 pm

This post proves it, if it ever were in doubt: the Editrix is a goddess.

mavenmaven October 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm

On the other hands, people are much less likely to vote Republican when they go back on their meds.

NellCote71 October 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Which they won't be able to afford if Romney is elected.

sbj1964 October 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Let's hope there are a lot of women who listen to the girl down stairs.Remember "Once you go Barack you never go back."

kingofmeh October 24, 2012 at 6:33 pm

this is off-topic but I love it. it is 1) a genteel savaging of ann coulter; 2) a defense of the president; and 3) a heartfelt description of what it's like to have a mental disability.
http://specialolympicsblog.wordpress.com/2012/10/

viennawoods13 October 24, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I just heard this guy interviewed on CBC. He is amazing.

PennyDreadful October 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

He misspelled "snarky".

FeloniousMonk October 25, 2012 at 12:26 am

Yes, he did. And?

PennyDreadful October 25, 2012 at 1:32 am

I was aiming for meta. Did I miss?

FeloniousMonk October 25, 2012 at 2:56 am

Only with dumbshits like me.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Awesome!
Although I disagree with one point; Ann is both dumb and shallow.

shelwood46 October 25, 2012 at 3:59 am

Wonderfully written piece.

Also amusing, the people in the comments thinking it was Ann Romney who tweeted it.

Goonemeritus October 24, 2012 at 6:35 pm

I vote with my penis that’s why I have been writing in Diana Rigg since I went through puberty.

viennawoods13 October 24, 2012 at 7:18 pm

She's who I want to be when I grow up! Go Emma Peel!!

Gleem McShineys October 24, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Your voting booth must be a lot more private than mine.

starfanglednut October 24, 2012 at 10:21 pm

If you can write her in with your penis, then I'll really be impressed.

chascates October 24, 2012 at 6:42 pm

This is all because Eve ate that apple.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Or as Mitt would say, "a choice daughter of God." I knew her once (Riviera, picnic, lightning storm, no need for cremation) and she was indeed choice.

BTWBFDIMHO October 25, 2012 at 12:16 am

Hotel Riviera, La Habana, Malecón?

Goonemeritus October 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Dear Edrix the Pogues are no laughing matter. If all the world was turned to rubble and mankind was only left with a Walkman a couple of Pogues tapes and some batteries culture would survive.

HarryButtle October 24, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Diana Rigg? Walkman? Tapes? Relics of a simpler time long gone by, my friend.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Are you and Doktor Zoom dating now?!

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Must be summer in Siam.

tvrmx October 24, 2012 at 6:44 pm

When I'm ovulating I feel confident, energetic, focused — in short, I feel ON. This makes me sexier I'm sure, but I certainly wouldn't interpret these results as "feeling sexy" being the reason a woman is so much more strident in support of her cause. Because they have the hots for their candidate or whatever?… that's just dumb. But damn, when I'm ovulating I feel great, like I can take on the world. So that would increase my whatever thing I'm doing or into by a good 20%, sure.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Ovulating sounds like an awesome high! What's it run by the ounce? Can you snort it?

Fare la Volpe October 24, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Got to be careful they don't cut it with powdered eggs. Those things are killer.

DemmeFatale October 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Lucky you!
I just have killer mittle schmertz.
(Menopause can't come fast enough for me.)

LePiston October 25, 2012 at 5:47 pm

OMG me too and I'm only 31.

RufusTFirefly October 25, 2012 at 12:31 am

So… Are you doing anything tomorrow night?

deanbooth October 24, 2012 at 6:49 pm

But of course we meant it gender-neutrally.

Could Palin have meant "shuck and jive" race-neutrally? I don't think so, cause the phrase is not race neutral. Same thing with "on the rag," so it's not a good excuse.

I think what you said on Twitter is fine and funny and needs no apology. Women can say "on the rag" the same way blacks can call each other ni-clangs (though there are parallel arguments why both should be avoided). The guy who called you on it was grasping at straws, assholishly, and a simple "fuck you" was in order.

/nosnark

Buttsechs, also.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 7:24 pm

And BALLS.

barto October 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm

CertrainlyNotNews at its best.

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm

I think my wife's on the rag right now, what with the slamming things and complaining about messes and children not eating all their dinner… do you think she'd go to the neighbors' houses and force them to vote for Obama?

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 7:24 pm

If you suggest it gently, perhaps.

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I'm avoiding direct eye contact right now, but I'll try to whisper it into her ear when she falls asleep – suggestion! Still, if she wakes up when I'm that close to her face, I'll probably end up like that orderly from "Silence of the Lambs".

Mumbletypeg October 24, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Too funny. I'm reading the book right now. Seen the movie a ton of times. And what gets left out from the book — it's like reading 'fan fiction' except, it's original?

Designer_Rants October 24, 2012 at 9:32 pm

It's such a good movie, that the book just fleshes out the movie – as opposed to the usual, being really disappointed in a movie compared to the book. I should read "Hannibal", as it's one the wife and I watched about 50 times. We didn't have cable for a year and would watch Hannibal and Red Dragon over and over again. That culminated in the release of the last movie ("Hannibal Rising"??) – and it sucked so bad we stopped watching all of them suddenly. High Hopes dashed.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Make sure you give her LOTS of wine and chocolate before the evening is through. Your life may depend on it.

Ali Davis October 24, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Right. Totally unreasonable to get annoyed with CNN, since they are required to report on every dipshit questionable study that comes down the pike. Clearly they had no other option.

commiegirl99 October 24, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I don't think the study's stupid at all! I don't think her conclusions are correct, but a correlation that big should be studied, it seems to me.

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I'm generally dubious of any study that attempts to measure peoples' feelings, but I agree with you that this one was reported pretty neutrally. I also agree that speculation about causation is very premature.

Mojopo October 24, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Some enterprising woman would should get some red food coloring and maxi pads, apply the dye and stick the pads on every door knob at CNN. Especially exits. And then yank an alarm.

NellCote71 October 24, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Looovvve it.

FeloniousMonk October 24, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Especially one by an Assistant Prof in a Department of Marketing. She's appeared before on CNN Health, last time with a paper showing that women buy sexier clothes when they're ovulating. I think she's found a good gig, which may help her come tenure time at the U of the Alamo. More power to her, I say.

cybermoe October 24, 2012 at 7:03 pm

1. I luv wimminz
2. http://bit.ly/rOZWvJ
3. I really luv wimminz

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Is that what you say, or is that what they say?

joobajooba October 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Ah, but there is a male equivalent: http://nyti.ms/PRenEL testosterone slumps when a male's candidate's loses/.
"men who had voted for the losing presidential candidate, John McCain, suffered a big drop in their testosterone after hearing of his defeat.

"The scientists reported that the male McCain voters “felt significantly more controlled, submissive, unhappy and unpleasant.” The testosterone effect was “as if they directly engaged head-to-head in a contest for dominance” and lost, one researcher told a reporter when the study was published in 2009. The men who voted for Obama fared better. The researchers speculated that there might be an Obama baby boom."
– especially if all those Obama women (that's you Benincasa) were ovulating at the same time.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 7:20 pm

That link is so hurtful and demeaning!!

Gleem McShineys October 24, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Man, I can't wait until November, when all of their already-shrunken junk just lets out one last little deflating balloon squeak and drops right off.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 8:00 pm

RELEASE THE CATS!

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:31 pm

If for no other reason than how funny it would be to watch a bunch of cats racing around the kitchen floor, frantically batting those things around, like they do with the piece of plastic that hold the cap on the milk bottle.

BoroPrimorac October 24, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Organizing for America would not have to worry about turn out if more liberals knew about this study.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:01 pm

If they also told the wingnuts, they would just stay home & not vote, because science.

Boojum October 25, 2012 at 6:03 am

There will be bar fights and Viagra popping.

DustyBowlBlues October 24, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I shudder to think how women going through menopause vote. If I had gone canvassing back in those days, I would've been hauled to jail for punching anyone who self-identified as Republican right in the nose.

DemmeFatale October 24, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Yep.
My mom pulled a big heavy closet door right off its track, (cause I hadn't picked up my clothes). She then proceeded to beat the metal clothesline pole with a stick of wood.
Good times!

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Well, now… is somebody having a Midlife Crisis?

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 7:11 pm

MODERATION? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE?

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Woah! That hasn't happened to me – yet. I.D. must be Getting Weird again. I think that happens when too many people get on their servers or something.
My post that got sent to the Naughty Room earlier wasn't even Naughty or contained any Forbidden Words or elements therof.
It's just frustrating to have to pay the penalty of Naughtiness without the benefit of actually being Naughty.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

My bad- somehow I got signed into ID with my Wordpress user name & I didn't notice. Oops!

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Well that makes sense! I.D. really does some odd things, though.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Yes, so I was a little too quick to assume that it was something they screwed up. But it's never happened before & now I can't sign in using my Wordpress user name to go delete the comments I made…

Verlander & I aren't having such a great evening…

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I had one yanked, even though all it did was make fun of Donald Trump for going bankrupt.
Go figure.

chascates October 24, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Perhaps the 'Cyber Pearl Harbor' begins with Intense Debate.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Perhaps you're right. This is where the Cephalopocalypse is starting, after all.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

If I've inadvertently started WWII, I would like to take a moment to say that I'm really, really sorry.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Oh, no – you're OK. Nothing's started. Yet.

When Our Cephalopod Overlords do arrive, it will be obvious.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm

I, for one, will welcome our Cephalopod Overlords.

(I live near the coast, so I feel the need to play it safe.)

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:33 pm

WWII was quite a while ago, but look on the bright side; you *may* have inadvertently started WWIII.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Couldn't we just pretend that I typed WWIII like I meant to?

But if this DOES turn out to be Obama's October Surprise, I hope he handles it as well as JFK handled the Cuban Missile Crisis 50 years back.

Detesticle October 24, 2012 at 7:19 pm

It find it impossible to eat to this.

An_Outhouse October 24, 2012 at 7:37 pm

moaning whores are in my head, telling me what to do.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Let's try this again…

Perhaps some one is having a Mid Life Crisis?

Blueb4sinrise October 24, 2012 at 8:46 pm

First link works?
I clicked both……..run two with a 40 second delay= AWESOME!!!!!!!!!11

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Yeah, the first post zoomed out of Moderation Limbo, I guess!

I did the 40-second delay double run also. It sounded like someone was trying to call up the Great Old Ones.

decentcitizen October 24, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Hormones. How do they work?

Boojum October 25, 2012 at 6:07 am

The red tide comes in, the red tide goes out….

viennawoods13 October 25, 2012 at 7:30 am

Winner!!

Mumbletypeg October 24, 2012 at 7:47 pm

O/T: Anyone else in Richmond, VA area planning to go hear our President speak tomorrow morning?

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 9:22 pm

You going? Grab a sign and a seat behind the podium & you'll be helping out Barry's campaign on the national news!

I'll be (almost literally) in Baltimore Harbor all day long. I'm just hoping for no T-storms

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Give him our love!

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I'm in California. My chances of seeing Bamz in the next two weeks are well below zero.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Geez, if you listen to CNN it's a regular Carrie Nation out there.

sorry

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I see what you did there!

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Thanks!

calliecallie October 24, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Very clever!

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:07 pm

This Blog Attracts Bears.

BarackMyWorld October 24, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Hillary 2016.

mosjef October 24, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Mitt wants government off your back and in your uterus. Period.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm

That almost makes me rethink my support for big government.

Dashboard Buddha October 24, 2012 at 8:25 pm

I know a pretty funny menstrual anger joke, but I don't have periods so I'll pretty much sit on my hands and keep to myself this time around.

Blueb4sinrise October 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm

So, I spend all afternoon replacing the fucking motor on the fucking dishwasher, plus half the other fucking fittings underneath the fucking sink because they all went in sometime probably in the fucking Nixon Truman administration………and this is the thanks I get!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, wait.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Rag Mama Rag. Now what's come over you?

Blueb4sinrise October 24, 2012 at 9:08 pm

….spend all afternoon replacing the fucking motor on the fucking dishwasher, plus half the other fucking fittings underneath the fucking sink because they all went in sometime probably in the fucking Truman administration….

Haz beers nao.

[plus it always takes longer when ya fuck-up]

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 9:18 pm

You have mastered an essential concept in Household Repairs. Beers AFTER the job.
It's surprising how many people never get that.

Blueb4sinrise October 24, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Well, if I had had beers [and sammich] mighta just said "fuck it", so still kinda unclear where the net positive lies.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:33 am

You replaced the motor on a dishwasher?

[Pause]

WE SALUTE YOU.

(I hate dealing with pressurized water)

Blueb4sinrise October 25, 2012 at 1:33 am

{amateur tip} Check teh Youtube first, not half-way through.

Also : Compression fittings and copper tubing are worse than Hitler!!!!!!!!!!!!

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 1:38 am

But better than sweat joints.

AlterNewt October 25, 2012 at 1:57 am
viennawoods13 October 25, 2012 at 7:36 am

True story. I am 8 months pregnant, suffering with the flu. My 2 year old son is with me. My husband is in the crawlspace under the bathroom working on the plumbing. He is banging on cast iron, screaming "You cocksucking motherfucker!!" My son toddles up to me, very concerned, and says "mommy, daddy needs you".
I much prefer it when he does wiring. Much less stressful.

Chet Kincaid_ October 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm

My turn to be the Thick Skulled Commenter Who Doesn't Get It: Would one of you wags explain this Pogues business?! I gather it has something to do with Mr. Afrocentric Name who was Twitter-feuding with Rebecca, but I don't know how in the fuck you make heads or tails of a conversation on that goddamned appliance.

commiegirl99 October 24, 2012 at 8:49 pm

He took offense to me referring to "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda" as "Waltzing Matilda" and called me a dink, and I was all OK I looked it up and how can you possibly say that's wrong especially considering Twitter's character limit YOU'RE a dink, dink. And then he said I was annoyed, angry, and dumb and kept shouting at me about being annoyed, angry and dumb, and then I was all "are you on the rag?" and he spent about an hour accusing me of being a Gender Traitor.

It actually kind of freaked me out.

chascates October 24, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Thank God you didn't upset any Neil Diamond fans; they can get homicidal!

Doktor Zoom October 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

No kidding. There are still people harboring a grudge against Dave Barry for suggesting that "songs she sang to me / songs she brang to me" was a pretty bad rhyme…in 1992.

DerrickWildcat October 25, 2012 at 2:36 am

I get yelled at for thinking the first line of, "War Pigs" is pretty bad
"Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses"

Rhyming Masses with Masses is just lazy.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 9:13 pm

That's a killer version. This jackanapes is no Lester Bangs.

FeloniousMonk October 24, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I suspect Eric Bogle (who did write the damned song) would not care about your teensy slip. The one time I saw him live, he was quite proud of having been called a First World War Poet by the Times. So, yes, the Twit was on the rag.

Update: bloody hell. Bob Kerrey sang this in 1988. He also thought Bogle was around during the Great War. He's actually pretty good, but I think we should keep this entre nous until he beats Fischer.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm

In a Pogues context, I'd say 'Waltzing Matilda' is a perfectly acceptable Twitter-shortened substitute for "ATBPWM".

Jerk was definitely OTR.

Boojum October 25, 2012 at 6:13 am

My granddad's middle name (his Mom's maiden name) was Pogue, so I have reverse sideways inherited the rights to that song and retroactively rename it to what you said.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:08 am

Those of us of a certain age will recall "And the Band Played Waltzing Mathilda" as a Joan Baez cover, but the Pogues' version was more broadly popular. It is a great tune, but it is also, of course, not the same tune as the traditional "Waltzing Mathilda".

In short, this is just more evidence that Twitter is a tool of the non-existent devil.

DemmeFatale October 25, 2012 at 1:53 am

A Capella(sp?) June Tabor sings "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAl0FRjEzCA

viennawoods13 October 25, 2012 at 7:30 am

you all just want to make me cry, because that is what that song does to me.

calliecallie October 24, 2012 at 8:34 pm

VAGINA! TAWANDA! Whatever.

Too bad it is too late for all the women who are voting for Obama to sync their periods and be ovulating at the same time as the election. Then they could vote for Obama with 20% more conviction. But wait…

Okay, I get it. This study is dumb.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 24, 2012 at 11:14 pm

VAGINA! TAWANDA! Let's call the whole thing off!

BlueStateLibel October 24, 2012 at 8:38 pm

More interesting study: Dems top-rated brand is Google; Repubs' is Chic-Fil-A.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 24, 2012 at 8:39 pm

CNN is the Tampax of the blog-O-Sphere.

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 8:54 pm

CNN — now with LeakGuard™!

jqheywood October 25, 2012 at 12:11 am

And wings! For when you have a whole lot of that blue liquid they show in the kotexish commercials on the TV gushing out oh so inconveniently for a woman on the, er, uhm, go….yes, that's it…..go.

shelwood46 October 25, 2012 at 4:29 am

MSNBC is OB. Current is the Diva Cup. Fox is that giant pad with no adhesive but a belt instead that they give you in the hospital.

Negropolis October 25, 2012 at 7:51 am

I read Tampax as Tampa…and it still makes sense either way. lol

littlebigdaddy October 24, 2012 at 9:05 pm

This is of course why women should not be allowed to vote. I think it is actually a plank in the GOP platform.

ednamillion22 October 24, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Okay. I'm ashamed about it, but I'll fess up: I bitched about that CNN headline for at least 45 seconds this afternoon. Got fairly huffy about it. Then I read the actual article and settled down a bit.

In my defense, I had JUST received a Scott Brown mailer that featured the headline "Scott Brown: Making a Difference, For Women", and the "For Women" part was in a repulsive pink script font. Because, you know, that's how you make sure that ladies read stuff, by putting it in pink script font.

So I was already super-annoyed.

FeloniousMonk October 24, 2012 at 9:38 pm

At the risk of losing my "mediocre" p rating, I'm going to disagree with both you and She Who Must Be Obeyed. I did read the CNN article, and it does contain caveats, and quotes from people pooh-poohing the study, but it only does that after a provocative lede that I think you're not supposed to read past. Er, it did, because when I went to check my memory I found that it's been removed because "some elements of the story did not meet the editorial standards of CNN". So perhaps this whole thread comes to a grinding halt.

(Full disclosure: I do not have a vagina. Last time I checked, the penis had not completely atrophied.)

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 10:47 pm

I find that an awful lot of health reporting is rather misleading &/or skewed. The headline makes a dramatic pronouncement about how vitamins are worse than poison, then you finally track down the actual study & find out that a few people died after they found out they had a terminal illness & started taking vitamins.

Come to think of it, I guess much reporting is this bad- not just the health-related articles.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

"I find that an awful lot of health reporting is rather misleading &/or skewed. The headline makes a dramatic pronouncement about how vitamins are worse than poison"

There's an Ellen DeGeneris bit about that:
Newscaster: Coming up at 11, a common food that can kill you.
Person eating dinner in front of the TV: Oh, no! It's not stringbeans, is it?

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 12:29 am

Stuff that involves evaluating peoples' feelings is unavoidably sketchy, and deserves lots of disclaimers.

This particular one wasn't that bad, and it had quite a few disclaimers.

I spent my career dealing with hard science, give or take a few quanta, but I do know that attempting to quantify human behavior is a much trickier business. And popular understanding is further eroded by the tendency for reporters to oversimplify and headline-writers to inadvertently misrepresent.

This was far from the worst example.

commiegirl99 October 25, 2012 at 11:02 am

EWWWW I am so sorry, will you forward that email please? rebecca@wonkette dot com. It sounds fun!

ednamillion22 October 25, 2012 at 11:36 am

RATS! It wasn't an email, it was a big obnoxious 8×11 postcard mailer which I promptly and cathartically tore up into little pieces. I could tape it together and scan it for you, but that probably wouldn't have the same effect…

ednamillion22 October 24, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Also, why the hell am I getting Scott Brown mailers? At least I can get some satisfaction from knowing he wasted the 57 cents (or whatever).

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Somebody must've sold him their mailing list.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I'm not getting anything from him yet, but Mitt sends me expensive-looking glossy posters that really lower the tone of my recycling bin…

finallyhappy October 24, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I take hormones now – and it is too damn hot- so get off my lawn

Incitefully_Joe October 24, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Becca seems kinda upset about this.

I think she's on the rag right now.

Barrelhse October 24, 2012 at 9:24 pm

This is a development that everyone should be aware of: http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/10/24/more-allega

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 10:03 pm

At least he gives presents, which is more than I can say about most of my brethren.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:42 pm

I was always creeped out by that whole, "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake" thing.

C_R_Eature October 25, 2012 at 5:22 am

Me too! Especially after I read this article!

Negropolis October 24, 2012 at 9:39 pm

"You see, Vagina Americans vote like this, while Penis Americans vote like this…"

docterry6973 October 24, 2012 at 9:51 pm

I must complain about the photo. It has rendered me unclean and now I must undergo ritual purification.

Lazy Media October 24, 2012 at 9:52 pm

And CNN has yanked the post. Because they are a bunch of pussies.
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/10/24/do-hormo

TribecaMike October 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Weird, that was the talk of the intertubes today.

Blueb4sinrise October 24, 2012 at 10:33 pm

See C_R_'s Lorena Bobbitt wildlife link in teh 'Ville.

C_R_Eature October 25, 2012 at 5:19 am

Thanks, that has to be one of my all time favorites.

fuflans October 24, 2012 at 10:48 pm

i think i speak for many of us when i say my girl hormones vote for obama.

MosesInvests October 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Ok, here's the thing-I was raised a boy in Jacksonville, Florida, the buckle of the Bible Belt, by fairly conservative parents from rural North Carolina. IOW, not by radical feminists on a commune in Oregon. And I'm *not* freaked out by ladyparts and menstruation. So what's the big deal, people?
Also, too, OT-why does the post about the Snowbilly crash my browser (repeatedly) when I try to open it?

Negropolis October 25, 2012 at 2:55 am

It might have something to do with the format of the video. What browser are you running? You might need to play around with the settings/plug-ins/add-ons.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

IntenseDebate has a right to do anything we can't stop it from doing.

That's some Debate, that IntenseDebate.

Doktor Zoom October 25, 2012 at 12:53 am

And everyone has a share.

commiegirl99 October 25, 2012 at 11:01 am

What's good for Doktor Zoom is good for America.

RawhideRawlins October 24, 2012 at 11:03 pm

The photo. WTF? In all my years checking out Wonkette I have never been this upset. My dainty little sensibilities have been blasted. Surely, ANYTHING goes here. No more censorship of any kind.

Boojum October 25, 2012 at 6:20 am

Did you ever eat a rare steak? Or suck your finger after you cut it?

If so, IMPEACH!!!!

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Vitamins don't get upset when all you have is American Express?

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Don't blame the Pogues- they can't help being awesome.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

That's true. But it's way past time for Shane to break down and buy some teeth.

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

They were kinda green in the '90's. I kinda figured they'd have rotted away completely by now?

C_R_Eature October 25, 2012 at 5:16 am

Yeah, they're all gone, now.

ttommyunger October 24, 2012 at 11:10 pm

So, it's all about the ovulation, is it? Shit, I thought it was becuz I wuz hawt!

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

These are not mutually exclusive premises, y'know…

ttommyunger October 24, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Whew! (Ego re-inflates)Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

tessiee October 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Aw, shaddup and quit fishing for compliments! You KNOW you're hawt!

ttommyunger October 24, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Busted! ;)Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

mille derps October 25, 2012 at 12:11 am

And we think you're 20% hawter at certain times of the month. What's not to like?

Baba_NinjaCat12 October 24, 2012 at 11:16 pm

The writer of the post has one of the moments that happens once a month, the STUPIDITY brain period.

DerrickWildcat October 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Can you have more stories for boys?

mille derps October 24, 2012 at 11:42 pm
TribecaMike October 25, 2012 at 1:11 am

On the internet? Good luck.

Blueb4sinrise October 25, 2012 at 1:41 am
proudgrampa October 24, 2012 at 11:35 pm

All I know is something I learned years ago: Men are pigs and you should just stay out of the way no matter what time of the month it is.

Negropolis October 25, 2012 at 2:57 am

Hey, I'm not a pig. I'm more like a really chill, ring-tailed lemur. If I could put on a bit more weight, I'd be a three-toed sloth.

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I have a real *thing* for lemurs, yaknow.

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I swear, if you have daughters or granddaughters, it makes you eye every other man in the world with a VERY jaundiced eye.

bobbert October 24, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Well, I've been dating myself for some years now, but I'll happily blame it on the Pogues.

editor October 24, 2012 at 11:42 pm

ugh.

need to drink more wine now — always makes me feel more sexy.

Troubledog October 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

I would do everything to that crazy bitch Michele Bachmann.

Everything.

cousinitt October 25, 2012 at 12:19 am

"now the Ladiez of Twitter — ladies we honestly admire! — have gone totally raggo."

Leggo my raggo!

RufusTFirefly October 25, 2012 at 12:22 am

Mrs. Teasdale makes total sense now.

RufusTFirefly October 25, 2012 at 12:24 am

And my favorite urinal graffiti: from the Euclid Tavern in Cleveland in the mid 1990s.
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn't die.

FeloniousMonk October 25, 2012 at 12:32 am

I retract my upfist on your previous comment.

RufusTFirefly October 25, 2012 at 12:40 am

Indeed. I'm an awful person. I may convert to Mormon so I can get extra wives and my own planet.

TribecaMike October 25, 2012 at 1:10 am

Gentleman, please. There are bizotches present.

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 12:49 am

As someone who bled for more than three days once and didn't die I resent that. OK, it was out of the incisions on my freshly amputated leg, but still…

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Oh, you're a gimp too?

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 2:32 pm

That's one way to look at it. Another way to look at it would be to say that I have extreme body modifications. I like to look at the hipsters and modern primitives in Seattle and think "Ooooohhhh, aren't you precious with your pierced eyebrow and those gauges in your ears. Wuss! Call me when you get a body mod made out of surgical titanium and that required the services of an orthopedic surgeon and an anesthesiologist for placement."

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Yeah, I have one of those too. We need to know this about each other so that when we're all forced to resort to hobo beans and cannibalism, we'll avoid each other's inedible bits.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 1:33 am

Not particularly relevant to this thread, but my favorite graffiti is from the Kollege Klub in Madison in early 1969: "Get Spiro first".

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Listen, for us Oldz, that's ALWAYS relevant. Pull out, Dick, like yer father should've!

Blueb4sinrise October 25, 2012 at 1:36 am

CLEVELAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SorosBot October 25, 2012 at 12:29 am

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar; that much is true.

Mojopo October 25, 2012 at 1:03 am

You mixed up the female part on purpose, because you're an insensitive robot.

TribecaMike October 25, 2012 at 1:58 am

My fave part of the CNN's mutha of all studies: the final two words of the last sentence:

"Even if the finding is correct, there's a chance that it won't have a cumulative effect on the electorate," he said.

T3rbo October 25, 2012 at 2:43 am

PERIOD!

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 2:51 am

1. Trying to do social science, particularly measuring "feelings", is hard work. Ideally, you should control for time of day, day of the week, how far from payday, the weather, disruptions in personal life, the health and well-being of the subject's family and friends, etc. Because this is hard, most studies assume that the factors not under observation are randomized out, but for this to be a valid assumption, the sample size may need to be quite large. The CNN article is deleted, but I'd imagine that an appropriate sample would be several thousand.

2. A quote from the article (at huffypoo) says that the study is to be published in the peer-reviewed journal Psychological Science. Now, this could mean that it has been peer-reviewed and scheduled for publication, or that it has been submitted for review. My beef with CNN here would be that they should wait until it is actually published before reporting on it.

This is actually a pretty generic beef with mainstream media reporting on science. The point of peer review is to ensure that published discoveries are at least plausible. Reporting on stuff before it has gone through peer review is sort of rabble-rousing.

3. Therefore, even though the CNN article was fairly neutral, it was premature, and CNN deserves to be criticized for it. Now, I'd stop before a general boycott. It is far from the worst thing they've done in the last three months, and they are irrelevant anyhow.

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Thank you. Nothing like a scientist spelling it out.

I avoid MSM science reporting like the plague. I think only the NYT has good science writers. ScienceNews is my favourite source. All their writers are scientists, usually in the field on which they're reporting.

preedance October 25, 2012 at 7:30 am

It's true. I did wake up this morning wanting to vote for Obama and f*ck Romney.

delaney_blom October 25, 2012 at 9:32 am

Women only feel sexier if they are legitimately ovulating. (we've got two more weeks with that joke, right?)

Nostrildamus October 25, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Nothing in CNN’s post was worthy of scorn…

Making it CNN's best post this month.

enagoski October 26, 2012 at 4:48 pm

If by "feel sexier" they mean "are more likely to be sexually proceptive or receptive," then it turns out no, women don't necessarily feel sexier at ovulation. Some women do. Others feel sexy right before menstruation or right after menstruation. For others, their interest in sex has no reliable relationship to their cycle. It's one of the complex things about human female sexuality is that it appears to be largely decoupled from their hormonal oscillation. There is some evidence of behavior changes like walking more and changes in clothing choice, but no particularly compelling explanation for why these things might be true. Just, like, FYI.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Considering that youse guys ain't exactly *friends,* Biely …

Biel_ze_Bubba October 24, 2012 at 8:25 pm

"I like to see the Old Man now and then
And try to be not too uncivil.
It's charming in a noble squire when
He speaks humanely with the very Devil."

HistoriCat October 24, 2012 at 11:09 pm

That's just what they want you to think.

Fare la Volpe October 24, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Oh no you don't. You're in this with the rest of us.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 9:32 pm

The devil can quote … oh, wait, that's Goethe, not scripture.

C_R_Eature October 24, 2012 at 9:39 pm

It builds character?

No, that's not it.

MittBorg October 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Are you fucking kidding me, wild horses wouldn't drag me away. I still have a few teeth, yaknow.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 1:36 am

Nah. Just killing time.

Blueb4sinrise October 25, 2012 at 11:51 am

Sounds about right.
I'm kinda quiet and reserved, so I tend towards the shorter: YOU FUCK!!

MittBorg October 25, 2012 at 1:34 pm

(rubs the furry belly)

Biel_ze_Bubba October 26, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Actually, I do my best work when quoting scripture.

MittBorg October 26, 2012 at 6:31 pm

(flees)

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