IN THE NAVY  8:30 am October 25, 2012

That Is So Weird That Guy Advising Mitt Romney On Our ‘Too-Small’ Navy Just Happens To Be In The Ship-Building Biz

by Kris E. Benson

Romney and Ann aboard the SeawardHere’s the thing about the Navy: it needs more ships. And possibly more bayonets, so as not to offend the bayonet-Americans. But definitely more ships. This is self-evidently true according to presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who astutely observed the other night that our air force is “older than any time since 1947.” This is also self-evidently true!  So the solution here is more ships, which you can use to attack Syria (a.k.a. “Iran’s route to the sea”) and if you get bored with that, you can sail on over to Afghanistan, which will be very helpful to our men and women and uniform. So yeah, more ships, says Romney, who is being advised by some guy who by coincidence just so happens to invest in ship-building companies. Does his opinion on navy ships have to do with these ties to ship-building companies? No, of course not, his opinion on navy ships just has to do with Keeping Us Safe.™

One of Romney’s most important advisers on Navy issues [is] John Lehman, an investment banker and former secretary of the Navy, [who] has strong and complex personal financial ties to the naval shipbuilding industry. He has profited hugely from the Navy’s slow growth in recent years — raising the prospect that he could make even more if Romney takes his advice on expanding the fleet.

[…]

Lehman invested in a government-backed “Superferry” in Hawaii — a business that ultimately failed, but not before boosting the standing of Austal USA, an Alabama shipbuilder that constructed the ferry service’s ships… Lehman continues to own shipyards that do lucrative maintenance work for the Navy. Even leaving aside the intricate ferry-and-shipyard series of deals, Lehman still stands a decent chance of profiting from the naval buildup he is helping to plan.

This is just a coincidence, of course, because gosh — Romney and Ryan, they just want to make sure America is strong. Militarily, that is. And the best way to make us strong enough to fight our enemies is MORE SHIPS.

[Wired]

 

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{ 112 comments }

Madfall October 25, 2012 at 8:32 am

Yeah, that's a puzzler. I'd be willing to bet that the US navy's collective tonnage as of the debate considerably outweighed the old Navy Rmoney was referring to also.
Talking out of his periscope, as usual.

sullivanst October 25, 2012 at 8:49 am

Not to mention, as Barack sadly failed to do, that in fact just on raw ship count (a measure that actual naval analysts say "doesn't pass the giggle test"), Romney is still lying – the Navy's active ship count in each of the four years of Bush's second term was lower than at any time during Barack's term. The number of ships ordered per year has also gone up under Obama compared with Bush's second term.

And yes, any one of our 11 carrier groups could certainly, with ease, sink our entire 1916 Navy.

actor212 October 25, 2012 at 9:20 am

I propose this modest suggestion.

Let's pave over the entire ocean and this way, a navy becomes irrelevant.

Nowisallthereis October 25, 2012 at 9:22 am

ASPHALT LOBBY

Madfall October 25, 2012 at 9:23 am

If you did that Mitt would start investing in companies that specialise in highway construction.

actor212 October 25, 2012 at 9:34 am

Jobs, baby

bikerlaureate October 25, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Money, baby.

Creating jobs for the irrresponsible 47% is just an unfortunate side effect.

MegPasadena October 25, 2012 at 1:21 pm

But, but, but, Paul Ryan said the ocean is not getting smaller.

4TheTurnstiles October 25, 2012 at 8:36 am

If the Navy of 1943 was enough to prevent Pearl Harbor from the Germans, it's enough to keep the US&A safe from Iran's extensive nuclear program. On planet Kolob.

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 8:58 am

Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer…dead."

actor212 October 25, 2012 at 9:35 am

Forget it, he's on a roll

Oblios_Cap October 25, 2012 at 8:38 am

Is John one of the Lehman Brothers?

I wonder how much money Willard has invested in Lehman's shipyards?

DerrickWildcat October 25, 2012 at 8:38 am

Might need more Dancing Horses for the Army.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 25, 2012 at 8:40 am

Ha!

actor212 October 25, 2012 at 9:47 am

Five star General Rafalca?

DerrickWildcat October 25, 2012 at 9:52 am
Yellerdawg October 25, 2012 at 10:19 am

There is some weird shit for sale out there on the intertubes.

frrolfe October 25, 2012 at 12:42 pm

horses for the air force, sez i. back in the day when every enola gay was decorated with onions zzzzzzzzzz

MegPasadena October 25, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Maybe Rafalca will be the first Romney to serve the military.

Loch_Nessosaur October 25, 2012 at 8:40 am

Romney – I never served in the military but I have friends who own naval shipbuilding companies.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 25, 2012 at 8:43 am

Does Romney have any investments in blimps or personal jet packs?
Just wondering.

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 8:43 am

Mitt also said the Air Force needs more planes with windows that roll down,

Madfall October 25, 2012 at 8:54 am

All the better to spearhead his Mormon invasion of France.

ProgressiveInga October 25, 2012 at 8:44 am

"…invested in a government-backed 'Superferry'…"

Marcus or Lindsay?

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Actually, I saw the Superferry back in 2008, Iirc. It was YUUUUUGE.

BarackMyWorld October 25, 2012 at 8:46 am

Then maybe he's heard of aircraft carriers!

bleokt October 25, 2012 at 8:48 am

This proves it: Mitt Romney is a Muslim.

EatsBabyDingos October 25, 2012 at 8:50 am

In Virginia, they are working on transvaginal bayonets. Jerbs, people, jerbs.

Terry October 25, 2012 at 8:51 am

Personally, I'd rather see the Navy (and other branches of the military) hire a few more computer geeks who could continue getting into Iran's networks and keep the computers at their nuclear facilities playing AC/DC rather than running the production of enriched uranium.

I'd suggest that they do similar things to North Korea's military facilities, but I suspect that that whole country's network consists of a satellite hook up so Kim Jong Un can watch Netflix movies and a single dial up modem for all military computer activities.

BlueMonkeh October 25, 2012 at 9:11 am

i like the way you think

Barbara_ October 25, 2012 at 9:22 am

I'm voting for Terry.

Incitefully_Joe October 25, 2012 at 9:42 am

Well, duh. If he didn't have Netflix, how will he know which directors and actresses to kidnap?

Chet Kincaid_ October 25, 2012 at 9:53 am

Obama was going to announce exactly when and how we are doing that, with the full budget, key personnel and list of facilities from which we run our counter-espionage, but he ran out of time at the debate. He will probably casually mention it to the owner of a donut shop in Las Vegas, though.

Terry October 25, 2012 at 10:05 am

Or off the record to a newspaper in Iowa.

elviouslyqueer October 25, 2012 at 10:12 am

and a single dial up modem for all military computer activities.

That, and the modem is hooked up to a Coleco Adam.

EatsBabyDingos October 25, 2012 at 8:52 am

Mitt was asked by the ghost of David Broder if he knew about submarines, "you know, those long, hard, round things that carry seamen." And Mitt replied,"Lindsey Graham?"

Chow Yun Flat October 25, 2012 at 8:52 am

has strong and complex personal financial ties to the naval shipbuilding industry

He used to blow welders at the Electric Boat plant in Grorton.

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 8:54 am

Didn't Mitt say he wanted to run our old Navy like a Banana Republic.

ProgressiveInga October 25, 2012 at 8:56 am

Yes and he will fill The Gap with horses and bayonets!

PubOption October 25, 2012 at 9:09 am

Each ship will have a J Crew.

LesBontemps October 25, 2012 at 9:11 am

Will he be recruiting on J Date?

actor212 October 25, 2012 at 9:47 am

Mom jeans, half off

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 8:54 am

Lehman was SecNav during my enlistment in the Navy. Dick then, probably dick now.

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 9:04 am

Don't tell anyone, but during my jarhead incarceration I worked a couple months for the Asst Sec of the Navy–Melvyn Paisley at some building with five walls. I can confirm your assessment–he was then and still is a five-star prick.

HistoriCat October 25, 2012 at 12:20 pm

I can't do the Google-fu right now but wasn't he present during the Tailhoook party scandal, cavorting with strippers?

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 8:55 am

He wants one of those aircraft carriers that flies, like Nick Fury has.

deanbooth October 25, 2012 at 8:55 am

All the GOPooh bears want some of that sweet, sweet government honey. Worker bees, unite!

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 9:34 am

So. Government *does* create jobs, then?

BoroPrimorac October 25, 2012 at 10:31 am

Would it have killed Obama to call Romney out on his two trillion dollar stimulus package?

ChernobylSoup October 25, 2012 at 8:55 am

Julia Roberts whored herself out so that one dude would have a change of heart and decide to build ships instead of breaking up the company. Do we really want that whoring to go to waste?

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 8:56 am

I think we need more Yangtze River gunboats. Maybe we would get more movies like "The Sand Pebbles" out of that.

SavageDrummer October 25, 2012 at 10:12 am

The Yangtze is currently shallow enough to wade across in most places… boats aren't an option anymore!

jodyleek October 25, 2012 at 8:59 am

So, it's okay for the guberment to create jerbs as long as said jobs ultimately line the pockets of your uber-rich friends. Got it.

LesBontemps October 25, 2012 at 9:00 am

I can haz alt-text now?

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 9:13 am

Here's mine: "Mitt and Ann take a cruise in the SS Fertility."

LesBontemps October 25, 2012 at 9:17 am

"Needs more boats."

sudsmckenzie October 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

I own all your Grey Poupon.

MosesInvests October 25, 2012 at 10:30 am

"All your yacht are belong to us."

Loch_Nessosaur October 25, 2012 at 9:03 am

I would say maybe Lehman could sell ships to Iran but since they have to go through Syria for a seaport maybe he could just sell them to the Soviet Union.

Nowisallthereis October 25, 2012 at 9:27 am

And the USSR and CCCP.

ALso, we need enough firepower to breach the Berlin Wall.

SavageDrummer October 25, 2012 at 10:13 am

I'm also hearing some rumbles concerning Archduke Ferdinand, that guy should watch his back…

KotBR October 25, 2012 at 9:05 am

Why won't our Communist President address the fact that Navy hasn't won an NCAA football championship since 1926? That's the real threat to American strength.

freakishlywrong October 25, 2012 at 9:09 am

Faux will get right on this story.

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 9:10 am

But haven't you seen the latest advertisements? The Navy is a Global Force for Good!!!

LesBontemps October 25, 2012 at 9:33 am

I didn't know that spreading gonorrhea was considered a global good.

M. Bouffant October 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

It's not just a job, it's $98.76 a week!

BadKitty904 October 25, 2012 at 9:10 am

Corrupt, Venal Hypocrite is corrupt. And venal.

SigDeFlyinMonky October 25, 2012 at 9:10 am

You know what we'll get? Submarine aircraft carriers (an actual 1950's proposal), and flying flapjacks (look it up) and gold plated missle systems that can't pass the "strapped down chicken test." Fund them all then try to truck the deliveries across collapsing infrastructure.

schvitzatura October 25, 2012 at 11:49 am

Just as long as we maintain our great stockpiles of Quint Zed Rockets/Schwarzgerät/Imipolex G., America will be right as rain.

Hoping Marcus B. or Lindsay G. is the payload during test trials…

RomneysLogCabin October 25, 2012 at 9:10 am

“Here's your first problem," he said, pointing at a sentence. "'Religion is the opium of the people.' Well, I don't know about people, but I think you'll find that the opium of pirates is actual opium.”

G. Defoe

Trannysurprise October 25, 2012 at 9:12 am

Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure, learn science and technology?

This doesn't sound like something Mittens wants.

Loch_Nessosaur October 25, 2012 at 9:17 am

Romney – "Who sunk my Battleship?"

SavageDrummer October 25, 2012 at 10:17 am

He's mostly wondering why we don't have triremes anymore

Lucidamente1 October 25, 2012 at 9:22 am

Well at least one Lehman brother is solvent.

Incitefully_Joe October 25, 2012 at 9:23 am

You know, I hate to break rank with my fellow Obots here, but I have to admit, one place where Obama is wrong is that the US military totally could use some more Bayonetta

BaldarTFlagass October 25, 2012 at 9:27 am

Now we know what Sarah Palin has been up to.

actor212 October 25, 2012 at 9:36 am

Was disappointed you didn't go here.

kittensdontlie October 25, 2012 at 9:23 am

Where do we need ships? Answer: EverydamnWhere!!!!
Explaination!: Commander-in-Waiting Mittens, from the bow of his thirty-five foot lake cruiser, can easily see that our largest inland sea, the Great Salt Lake, is UNPROTECTED!! Enemy battleships positioned there, could launch the most devastating attack on America since 9/11!!1!!

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 9:44 am

How easily you forget the naval invasion from the hedonistic evil empire to the west–trained on Lake Tahoe to divide and conquer the Mormon Empire.
In Utah they call that terrible day Reno 9/11.

Radiotherapy October 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

And the Great Lakes. Largely unprotected from the socialist hordes. Defend the Northern Border.

OneYieldRegular October 25, 2012 at 9:34 am

It's the same reason he wants more coal, and more oil, and more gas, and more nuclear, and less bank regulation, less environmental protection, less tightening of tax loopholes. Mitt Romney is not a candidate – he's a fixer for his corporate friends and fellow yacht owners.

NorthStarSpanx October 25, 2012 at 9:38 am

Nothing exemplifies American Patrician Privilege more than a boat full of Romney's.

Is it just me, or when a gaggle that big can't drink, I get nervous?

FlownOver October 25, 2012 at 9:44 am

OK, let's review: "Government doesn't create ______________."

Discuss.

GunToting[Redacted] October 25, 2012 at 9:52 am

Boats?

coolhandnuke October 25, 2012 at 9:53 am

Government cheese.

GunToting[Redacted] October 25, 2012 at 9:52 am

We need to address the Party Barge Gap ASAP!

GunToting[Redacted] October 25, 2012 at 9:54 am

Didn't Mittens head up the committee to expand the Utah Navy?

Radiotherapy October 25, 2012 at 9:58 am

Hey Frank Luntz, here's one for you:

Lose ships, pink slips.

No charge, Radio.

chicken_thief October 25, 2012 at 10:05 am

Rmoney needs a bigger Navy to defend all the countries where he has his money stored. The fact that his good buddy builds ships is just icing on the cake.

CalvinsChoice October 25, 2012 at 10:10 am

That boat needs more ballast in the bow. Goddamn anti-bigamy laws.

James Michael Curley October 25, 2012 at 10:17 am

I live in Iowa. No new battleship is going to keep me safe. Give me a good old American AK-47 any day.

alvinnewman October 25, 2012 at 11:09 am

American AK-47….I see what you did there….

Chet Kincaid_ October 25, 2012 at 10:21 am

Moar Great Lakes Battleships!! Dearborn, Michigan is Syria's gateway to the walleye!!

MosesInvests October 25, 2012 at 10:36 am

I for one am outraged that the US Navy has only one 36-gun, 3-masted frigate under commission. And no 3-deck ships of the line.

TheMightyHaltor October 25, 2012 at 10:43 am

The United States Navy could take on the rest of the world's navies combined (and the vast majority of those foreign ships belong to our allies anyway) and likely not lose a ship. So the obvious solution is more ships.

ttommyunger October 25, 2012 at 10:44 am

Binders of ankle-biters on their own in the bow of a racing speedboat; what could possibly go wrong? At least they're wearing PFD's, so the bodies will be easy to recover.

DemmeFatale October 25, 2012 at 11:42 am

When we lived on the water on Long Island, we always wondered about the peen size of a guy with a boat like that.

ttommyunger October 25, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Prolly the same as a hummer-driver.

ElPinche October 25, 2012 at 10:50 am

Here's an oldy but a goodie. An actual truth told my Romney *gasp*

Romney: "I'm a big believer in getting money where money is, and it's in Washington D.C."

http://youtu.be/5yR_Mn4Skt4

Estproph October 25, 2012 at 10:54 am

"…presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who astutely observed the other night that our air force is “older than any time since 1947.”

You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
And now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
And now you're older still

Time is marching on
And time is still marching on

SpiderCrab October 25, 2012 at 11:16 am

It's okay if this becomes public knowledge because it's just the usual corrupt republican politics, and after all there's plenty of money in the budget for a boondoggle or two

barto October 25, 2012 at 11:26 am

Ramming Speed!!!

mavenmaven October 25, 2012 at 11:27 am

Of course Romney would like to order more ships, to be built by his companies in China!

imissopus October 25, 2012 at 12:15 pm

It's simple, the more ships we have on the high seas, the sooner we can find the Northwest Passage. I for one welcome this policy.

bobbert October 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Global warming is taking care of this for us, with or without more ships.

MUHAMMED_PBUH October 25, 2012 at 12:46 pm

mitt romney will create real jobs shoveling clean american coal to power our dreadnoughts in the coming campaign to liberate the Levant from the fiendish grip of the ottoman empire

BTWBFDIMHO October 25, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Tell me he is not carrying the dog under that boat.

shelwood46 October 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm

My stepdad works for Austal in Mobile. He worked on the Superferry, and now the LCS (Littoral Combat Ship), which btw are all catamarans or some funky thing. Does this mean I have to vote for Romney?*

*My stepfather is not voting for Romney. My mother is not voting for Romney. Me, neither. 'Cause, you know, these ships are getting built by Obama anyway, also too.

DahBoner October 26, 2012 at 10:54 am

You said Littoral. I say Beach.

redarmyzombie October 25, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Jeez, with all this talk about Bayonet-Americans, Blahs and the You People, you'd think the Republican party was more inclusive than it really is…

DahBoner October 26, 2012 at 10:51 am

Ho

DahBoner October 26, 2012 at 10:52 am

"Big ships are sexy. Or lips." — Thuston Howell III & Ginger

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