Do you speak Jive? Noted intellectual and educated multilinguist former half-term governor Sarah Palin does not speak Jive, because Jive (and its concomitant “shucking”) is for common purse-snatchers and drug-smokers and other ne’er-do-wells, like a certain President Bablack Obamblack, who has been known to occasionally even go so far as to talk really super black, which brings shame on our great nation. Let us parse, together, Lady Palin’s brave rage against the tap-dancing minstrel “shucking and jiving” across the Rose Garden.
Haha, just kidding, we’re not parsing this shit. We’re sure she is is probably “unaware of any racial connotations to that term,” and that
criticizing her is oppression of her FREEDUM OF SPEECH!
Keep being you, Sarah Palin. Keep being you.
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Sarah Palin, fuck you, you fuckin' fuck. This woman is a menace to society.
As for the 2,081 people who "like this" on Facebook, that's only because there is no "dislike" button to offset it.
Shorter version of your comment: "Sarah Palin".
I love when you talk angry.
Thanks Fare!
Barb, she's too irrelevant to be "a menace to society."
Bill, i take it that you won't be reading her fitness book? : )
To write, mustn't one first read?
Not when the actual writing part of the writing is done by someone else.
Well, she has to finish the book first (and I doubt she can afford a ghost writer at this point.)
She has never finished anything anyway: jobs, child-rearing, bus tours.
I would give anything for a dislike button. And effectively thin my friend list as well.
" Sarah Palin, fuck you, you fuckin' fuck." …well said , and if I express my freedoms to intimidate and oppress the fuck'in fuck , I'll remind her I have first and second amendment rights to do so , and will stand my ground for my freedoms ….
Bring back the downfist!
Sounds racist to me.
Nyah.
The liebrul drive by lamestream media twisted her words out of context.
Wait, what?
Sarah Palin….the perfect example of everything that is wrong with this fucking country…her and Paris, and that big ass Kardashian – oh and Trump….Ugh.
Also wrong: faith-based science.
Money never bought class, my boy.
My step daughter asked, with admirable insight for her age, "Why do people with lots of money have such terrible taste?"
Which big ass Kardashian? AOT, K
But Sarah's still okay with Coulter using the "R" word?
Just checked Tina Twatwhistle's FB page and there is zero, zilch, nada, bupkes, NOTHING about Mann Coulter's remark at all.
And on a side note, I'm going to need a Silkwood shower to rinse off all the stupid on that page. YE GODS.
Yes, I've been eagerly awaiting her vitriolic condemnation of Coulter. I mean, Emanuel just said it in a private meeting. That bluewaffled, horsefaced hate-monger twootered to a broad audience. The silence is deafening.
So, does that mean that we can say it again?
I just want to say that 'twootered' gave me a much needed bout of the giggles. Thank you for that.
According to Lou Sarah's ardent fan, she is too busy "investigating" the "Benghazigate" to address the Coulter-R-gate.
Translation: she poops this shuck and jive shit out to avoid talking about Coulter.
Maybe it makes a difference if you use the word ending in "-ed" versus the base word.
OK, why the hell am I trying to make sense of her bullshit?
Talk about the pot calling the kettle…aw, never mind…
She must be broke by now so watch her go full Mann Coulter any moment now.
Look out; Jive Turkey!
Breaking News: Track Romney, emboldened by values moral compass culture warrior Sarah Palin, has jived up his comments on taking a swing at the President.
"Shit man, that brotha got me running cold upside his head."
Sarah then commented on how President Obama had chosen to Re-Nig on his "close Gitmo" policy. She closed with a plea for her readers to visit her Etsy page to purchase her new Irish-dancing ghost Halloween decoration, named Boo.
She sold some of the ghosts to St Louis Zoo. http://www.stltoday.com/news/state-and-regional/m…
So she's hawking a Boo-jigger?
I'm still waiting for Sarah to comment on Ann Coulter's use of the R-word. I'm sure that post is coming any day now.
To be fair, it probably took more than a couple of days for her ghost writer to come up with that Facebook post. Give her a few days. It's awhile to sort through the word salad that is Sarah Palin's thoughts.
Without a doubt, that's got to be a ghost poster administrating that page; there's no way in hell Palin can spell any word with greater than four letters in it, much less "Benghazi".
Remember, she has all of those different college educations, which is why she is so super-smart.
Because there just hasn't been enough stupid out there today this clam has to get in on it.
Oh yeah, Bamz still isn't noticing you no matter how much you shake your tail at him.
" shake your tail " … if she didn't use it to whistle at guys , she might get lucky ,- as it is , it just makes her smell worse
Oh Jesus, not this twat again.
A Sarah Palin post gets put up.
I get propulsively ill.
You can't explain this.
Gird your loins, EQ, this twunt is never, ever going away.
Like a bad case of herpes.
I know, I know. "There is another kind of herpes?" you ask.
Palin needs a neocon raping.
I'm ashamed.
As god intended.
Is that where they invade her borders, steal all her oil, and then declare her "liberated"?
If by borders, you mean labias, and by oil, you mean dignity, and by liberated, you mean pregnant with God's child.
Mr. Mourdock, is that you?
Her dignity was liberated a long time ago. And by liberated, I mean abandoned in the dumpster behind the Greyhound station in Wasilla…
Now now, we don't ideate violence. We're liberals.
We also don't skullfuck or use the word "retard"
Well, at least not on the Internet.
Only around Planned Parenthood's dumpster.
from your mouth to God's ears. Rapin' ladies is his gig apparently
That is not legitimate.
Obama's campaign just keeps shufflin' along, lawdy he do like dat campaignin'. Sho nuff. He don' know nuthin' 'bout runnin' no country though. Lawdhamercy. He need him some chicken and' waffles.
He cousin Leroy got he some fiiine tasty pig knuckles, sho as sunshine mhm.
and some watermelon so he can sit out on the porch and crank up the Earth,Wind, and Fire.
Something something something "busting up the chifforobe" something something something "know what I'm sayin'?"
Wow.
They ARE getting desperate.
I'm gonna sit back and enjoy the shit out of this!
(The attention whores are out today.)
Must be Wednesday.
Shuck and Jive Shtick: that was the vaudeville act of my great uncle Morty Edelman, blackface Jewish comedian.
Here I was thinking it was the referring to the stylings of Irving & Washington, the great Jewish/Black song and dance duo of the 20s.
Cunt.
That's an insult to cunts everywhere.
She puts the cunt back in country !!
FEETZ DON'T FAIL ME NOW!!1!
She was just ensuring that, you know, no one forgot that THE PREZNIT IS A NEGRO!!!
Wait, what now? That nice young Muslim man is black?
Wait up there, I'm sure if that was the case someone would have mentioned it by now.
Well, you know, half
Step'n Fetchit libel!
Why anyone cares about the opinion of this trailer trash caribou-blowing crackmonkey escapes me. I've cleaned shit out of my shower grout that was more sentient.
I was going to go with my cats litter box… shower works too.
And with a more pleasant personality too…let alone a better speaking voice.
You got that right. She could sterilize surgical equipment with those sounds.
…If medicine weren't a librul conspeerasy.
Can't be. All that fuckin' money I spend.
"Even a potato in a dark cellar has a certain low cunning." — Samuel Butler
You're saying she's a cunning linguist?
Jive Alaska white bitch ain't got no brains anyhow!
10/10. Would lol again.
How long until we get the video of her grandson using a racial epithet he learned from Grandma?
What? No scathing condemnation of Mr. Coulter for using the dreaded R-word?
All the blahs in Alaska look like injuns.
I think I'll wait until later to comment, when she posts something to the effect that those who call her a bigot are the real racists. You know it's coming…
Silly Sarah, Muslins can't shuck and jive.
If she had said "shuckling" the Jews would have had her removed from her position.
I didn't know "grifter" was actually a position.
If she had a position.
Doggie? Or that weird upside-down position in the gaping videos (that one of my friends likes to watch)?
We’re sure she is is probably “unaware of any racial connotations to that term,” and that criticizing her is oppression of her FREEDUM OF SPEECH!
She'll probably accuse her critics of trying to lynch her.
An electronic lynching!
THUD LIBEL !
THUD LIFE
As the hats and t-shirts in Louisiana say during Crawfish season: "Shuck me, suck me, eat me raw."
Her reference to Bamz as " that south lawn jockey" was taken out of context.
My wife speaks shuck and I speak Jive, her parents dont approve of our marriage.
Please, Br'er Fox! Don't throw me in the briar patch!
The comments on her page are priceless. Life inside that bubble must be a sad and lonely place. Thank gawd the liberals invented facebook so they could find their soulmates.
She can say shit like that, cause, you know, she has (had) a little* black in her.
* No offense, Glenn.
Sorry but I just can't keep clam over
OYSTER SHUCKING LIBEL!!!!
Just had to flex your mussels, eh?
Quahog!
Geoduck!
I always appreciate your pearls of wisdom.
That's just your Jive talkin', you're telling me lies…
I blame it on the fever from Saturday night …
Unlike a broken clock, Saran Palin is not correct even twice a day.
Hey, she's not racist, she slept with an NBA team.
She can't be racist; why, some of her best lays are black!
Looking at her post above, I declare that Twitter's greatest blessing to humanity is that it limits Palin's idiocy to small, survivable doses.
She's trying too hard. That went way over 140 characters.
T
Snowbilly is still trying to live down the humiliation of never once being a "We hate you less than Mitt Romney" candidate of the week. I mean, c'mon, even Gingrich made the cut at one time.
She still hasn't gotten over Mr. Rice?
HONKIE BITCH says what?
Comment in the screen shot: "4 dead Americans and the Obama minions could not care less".
Reminds me of 9/12/2001: "3000 Americans killed by bin Laden and the Bush administration wants to invade Iraq."
…while the Saudis were licking barbecue sauce off their beards in Crawford, Tx.
Yes, because the only way to truly show you care about dead Americans is to attack the President using objectively false assertions before the attack which killed them is even over, and not, say, to mourn their loss, step up security for their colleagues in harm's way, and start to seek out their killers.
Now you're catchin' on.
This is America. Our perpetual state of fear can only be combated with a perpetual state of outrage.
The real racists, Wingnuts will say, are the ones who think her comment is racist.
I don't understand. Who the hell is this lady? Is she from American Idol or something?
She was known as the Queen of Quit which sounds like a phony country to me.
She's no lady, that's for sure.
I would really just like them to say something like – "vote for our guy, he's white!" stop pretending otherwise, right? OWN YER RACISM, WINGNUTS!
I think that's what they are "starting" to do.
Watch.
She's not used to answering questions that can't be answered with "World Peace".
She fucked him too?
haha
Hey-O!
She also wishes Obama would stop shoving his long throbbing lies deep down America's throat.
No way she's gonna buck and wing her way past this!
Politics is no fox trot or lindy hop!!
I'll bet she doesn't talk like that when is visiting the Lakers locker room. Mainly because her mourh's too full
Or was that just a girlish spree?
Looks like some mannish spree on her chin.
*snork* and I've ruined another keyboard
She enjoys their thick, hot, pulsating, veiny engorged, er, personalities.
Facebook – where all great minds go to post their thoughts.
Second story in a row where this comment fits:
Babbling talking head says what now?
Good god. The comments on that screen cap look like the musings of a homeschool kid who's gotten into his parent liquor cabinet.
Tell it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHqUipinDyw
Thanks!
It seemed appropriately inappropriate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8Ow1nlafOg
More inappropriate!
Sarah, it ain't cool being a jive turkey this close to Thanksgiving, bitch.
Simmer down, liberal jive turkeys. I'll do my black face act, we'll eat some chicken and watermelon and forget what a hateful bitch Sarah Palin is.
Yuck fou, Parah Salin, you cacist runt.
I tecond shat.
I alsho want a shecond tat – Sean Connery
So on November 7th, will Paul Ryan become the next also-ran commentator on Fox? Or does she have staying power because tits?
Everything because tits.
I thought everybody knew that.
I was thinking Ryan could get a dish washing job.
I don't think he's up to washing dishes that haven't already been cleaned by someone else.
Her real tits have long since passed their 15 minutes of fame. Those fake bolted on things she's got now are made out of the kind of plastic that would survive a nuclear war.
Sarah who?
Also, as long as we are going back in time, the most famous jive talkers were as white as could be:
Bee Gees – Jive Talkin'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVjITlgqlHo
Breakfast is on me. We can all meet at the TwatWaffle House™.
Here's a serious question. Is there a tipping point, some threshold that once reached, would render either Sarah or Donald irrelevant? No? Didn't think so.
They'd haunt us even from beyond he grave. Not even death could sate them.
How did Superman stop himself from pulverizing the fools who taunted Clark Kent?
I thought Shrillbilly was too busy shoveling snow in L. A. to have time for her Facebook followers.
Oh, "Shrillbilly". Nice.
Shillbilly also, too.
Isn't there like 700 Islamic groups that say they have ties to al-qaeda and don't all 700 groups immediately claim responsibility for anything louder than a finger snap?
Yes, and yes, and no Sarah Palin doesn't give a shit.
Somewhere Mel Brooks shakes his head sadly…
Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker Libel!!
My high school's poster children. Well, them and Bill ("Four Stripes") Rehnquist.
She's either a dick or needs one.
All of them, Katie.
The body of the post also says she's tired of Obama's "shuck and jive shtick." And as we know from Andy Kindler (10:18), "Don't be shticky" means "We Hate the Jews."
Perhaps Lou Sarah, in addition to being America's Grifter Emeritus, is also a jive-ass honky schlimazel?
Schlemiel? Or is that something I remember from Mad Magazine?
Wasn't there a whole Seinfeld thing about schlemiel vs. schlimazel?
That was Laverne and Shirley.
If I'm remembering right, a schlemiel is a waiter who spills soup, a schlimazel is the customer who the soup lands on, and a schmendrick is the guy who asks what kind of soup it was.
She is a putz
"Shuck, Jive & Shtick" was the infamous 6-month Vegas nightclub run of Jim Nabors, Sammy Davis Jr. and Don Rickles.
"Snowbilly Snooki" ha ha!
Folksy.
If everyone would just ignore her, there would BE no Palin problem.
Yeah, and if people didn't stop and gawk at every bad car wreck, our freeways wouldn't be so….CRASH!!!!
See, we can't help ourselves!
You know better than that. lol
Sarah Palington's commentary is always so erudite.
Airheadite?
Eroded…
…-ite.
Is it gawds will that we endure Paylin?
she's kinda like a brain rape, but the only offspring apparently are Wonkette comments.
Also, too, is it even news that an al-Qaeda affiliate claimed credit for Benghazi? Hell, terrorist groups "claim credit" for just about every event regardless of their involvement, including natural gas leak explosions and natural disasters…
I took a shit this morning and an al-Qaeda linked cell has claimed responsibility for my fiber intake.
Thanks for sharing!
Also, too, please note she refrained from calling the President of the United States a "jive turkey," but only because she's in such trouble already with Galliform-Americans.
I used to have relations with a black basketball player. What they say about, you know, the size, well that is true. Oh sweet Jesus it was true. How can I be prejudice if f'ed the one of them, although he was probably stealing from me.
Signed,
SP
p.s. Don’t tell Todd or any of those Southern racist that still send me money. And please don’t say anything to Faux News.
Poor Sarah, not since Glen Rice has she been able to find someone to "bust up her chiffarobe".
it's overused (particularly for things that aren't at all funny, for some reason), but this really did make me laugh out loud.
So she was too busy to watch the debates.
Quit monkeying around Obama. Don't be lazy. Or uppity. What? Is Moochelle growing watermelons in the WH garden?
Quit acting all black! This is serious!
As if Palin could use the word "dissembling" properly… give me a fucking break.
A specifically proper use of that word would be "Oh my, Sarah Palin's atoms are dissembling". Oh, wait. Maybe I am wrong here. Nevermind.
Word.
In related news, Liz Cheney calls Obama lazy, for sleeping. Ever.
Sorry, Lizard, the job of National Sphincter is already taken. See above.
"What?"
– Sarah Palin
Dear God, at least SP actually held office. Has Liz Cheney ever done anything except sponge off her family connections?
Some day soon, you Sarah Palin will be old, fat, grey haired, slobbering oatmeal down the front of your hospital gown and forgotten. And Barack Obama will still be called Mr. President. LOL.
"Some day"?
"grey haired"
Please, under that shoe polish, it's been white as the driven snow for the last ten years.
Fortunately, Bamz and Biden blowing Walnuts and Grifter out of the water in 2008 was a cakewalk.
I am sick to death of that motherfucking skank on this motherfucking planet!
Who?
She thinks Benghazi is a deep heating rub for muscle aches.
Put some in her crotch and see how she enjoys it.
Dat cracker bitch needs some mo' Glen Rice lovin! Cold got to be!!
Shit, my Kukpowruk river salmon slappin' Rice be layin on dat cut like a bandaid, man. You dig?
JIVE TURKEY LIBEL
Poor thing, reduced to shrieking on Facebook and sleeping in the Fox Business Network's broom closet. Shouldn't happen to a dog, but it did.
That honkey lipped stunt be tr1ggin' out , jack! Her mama done dropped her on her dome too many times.!
For some reason, I'm reminded of this:
Lisa [about her doll's name]: All right. Now all we need is a name.
Bart: How about Blabbermouth, the jerky doll for jerks?
Lisa: How about Minerva, after the Roman goddess of wisdom?
Stacy Lavelle: Ehh, not enough commercial appeal.
Bart: Wendy Windbag? Ugly Doris? Hortense the Mule-Faced Doll!
Stacy Lavelle: I think we should name her after Lisa. We'll call her Lisa Lionheart.
Bart: No, Loudmouth Lisa! Stupid Lisa Garbage Face! [no one listens] I can't stand this any longer. Somebody please pay attention to me! Hello, pay attention to me! Look at me! I'm Bart, I'm Bart! Look at me, look at me, look at me!
Damn skippy.
After posting this, SP turned to the wall and said "NO ONE OWNS THAT DOOR" and then threw a penny at the window and wept.
Is that white trash speak?
Yes, it's the Alaskan dialect of American Backwoods Jibberish.
Has al-Qaeda claimed credit for Sarah Palin yet?
And when exactly is John McCain ever going to apologize for unleashing Sarah Palin on us?
John McCain: "Sarah who?"
Never. He hates America.
He knew torture and still unleashed this she-devil upon us. Shame on you, John McCain!
Palin needs to shuck off and jive.
I've been thinking a lot about George McGovern and his political legacy – his commitment to moral principles and fair play, his genteel kindness, his willingness to cross party lines and put nation above partisanship, his inclusive Prairie Populism that is deeply rooted in this country's history.
Some day, many years into the future when the Alaska governor has departed this world, a historian will study the legacy left behind by Sarah Palin and conclude: what a stupid, fucking cunt.
I can't wait until people realize she's completely irrelevant.
As long as the right wingers on their hoverounds believe she is "hawt" she will be relevant to the Fox base.
She'll be hosting a QVC segment in less than three years.
Shuck and jive schtick? Who does that? Sammy Davis Jr.?
It may be time for, sounds like "frig" to have the "R" word talk with his mom.
Has anyone asked her to point to Libya on a map? Never mind.
There's a debt clock, right, As well as that nuclear war clock.
The N-clock is at 12:59.
She said the sheriff is near!
While Palin should be an expert in failure, she somehow manages to fail even there.
Shuck and Jive in Eskimo means I'll suck your dick if you buy me a nice new crucifix.
Once again, thanks Walnuts, jerkass
Someone remind me why Amos 'n Andy are no longer on the air?
At least once a week, some wingnut leader has to blow the dog whistle of race to remind America that the President has the blood of the black man running in his veins. This is a stern warning that the white women will fall prey to their mandingoness, as Palin herself did.
Stop blood-libeling Sarah Palin!
Shalom this aleichem, Tundra Tart!
Soooo, is it really true that when people became an unproductive drain on the community's resources, the Inuit would abandon them on an ice floe? Just askin'.
I'll donate the allen west inflato doll to use as bait
Disassembling? Are you fucking kidding me? She in NO way wrote this piece. Maybe she heard this term somewhere at some time. Teetering around in those fug wedges must have knocked it loose in that empty head of hers, because I can picture her hovering over the shoulder of her ghost writer(s), poking them with her bony fingers, moose breath hissing: "Dang it! You get that shuckin' & jivin' in there somehow, or , I'll launch those cans at you, and not the fridge. Tooodddddd! Get the canned goods! Now!"
Back in the day when I was in the publishing racket, there was a truism that no celebrity has ever written their own copy.
That was most excellent. Are you a writer?
I wonder if she wears knee pads with Roger Ailes.
When will this cunt choke on a dick & die already?
Bamz as a train porter taking you to your berth!!
Just because Sarah's got some black in her when she boned Glen Rice doesn't give her the cred to use shuck & jive. She needs to mind her business stop her jealousy of Team Obama….maybe she wants to shuck and jive with the current prez – seems she's got some jungle fever goin' on.
I sometimes wish that she was a wily coyote, and I had an Acme safe filled with votes.
I don't even know what that means, but then I haven't fucked a pro basketball team.
Sarah Palin screams "blood libel!" in 3…2…
Sarah Palin is a lot of things, but she ain't no lady, let me tell you.
I am deeply troubled that she exercises these freedoms while manufacturing and selling methamphetamine out of her garage.
Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!
You're right, it was a whole shlemiel vs. schlimazel thing about Seinfeld, not the other way round.
Perfect for Halloween! Ghosts wrote it!
It will be half a book.
Naw, it will be a full book, but only the first 150 pages of the 300 page book will have anything on them.
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