also too the watermelon man

Elegant Lady Sarah Palin Simply Does Not Care For Negro President’s Common ‘Shuck And Jive’

Do you speak Jive? Noted intellectual and educated multilinguist former half-term governor Sarah Palin does not speak Jive, because Jive (and its concomitant “shucking”) is for common purse-snatchers and drug-smokers and other ne’er-do-wells, like a certain President Bablack Obamblack, who has been known to occasionally even go so far as to talk really super black, which brings shame on our great nation. Let us parse, together, Lady Palin’s brave rage against the tap-dancing minstrel “shucking and jiving” across the Rose Garden.

Haha, just kidding, we’re not parsing this shit. We’re sure she is is probably “unaware of any racial connotations to that term,” and that
criticizing her is oppression of her FREEDUM OF SPEECH!

Keep being you, Sarah Palin. Keep being you.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. Barbara_

    Sarah Palin, fuck you, you fuckin' fuck. This woman is a menace to society.
    As for the 2,081 people who "like this" on Facebook, that's only because there is no "dislike" button to offset it.

          1. LibertyLover

            Naw, it will be a full book, but only the first 150 pages of the 300 page book will have anything on them.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I would give anything for a dislike button. And effectively thin my friend list as well.

    2. rmjagg

      " Sarah Palin, fuck you, you fuckin' fuck." …well said , and if I express my freedoms to intimidate and oppress the fuck'in fuck , I'll remind her I have first and second amendment rights to do so , and will stand my ground for my freedoms ….

  2. hagajim

    Sarah Palin….the perfect example of everything that is wrong with this fucking country…her and Paris, and that big ass Kardashian – oh and Trump….Ugh.

      1. AlterNewt

        My step daughter asked, with admirable insight for her age, "Why do people with lots of money have such terrible taste?"

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Just checked Tina Twatwhistle's FB page and there is zero, zilch, nada, bupkes, NOTHING about Mann Coulter's remark at all.

      And on a side note, I'm going to need a Silkwood shower to rinse off all the stupid on that page. YE GODS.

    2. Not_So_Much

      Yes, I've been eagerly awaiting her vitriolic condemnation of Coulter. I mean, Emanuel just said it in a private meeting. That bluewaffled, horsefaced hate-monger twootered to a broad audience. The silence is deafening.

      1. HELisforHEL

        I just want to say that 'twootered' gave me a much needed bout of the giggles. Thank you for that.

    3. MegPasadena

      According to Lou Sarah's ardent fan, she is too busy "investigating" the "Benghazigate" to address the Coulter-R-gate.
      Translation: she poops this shuck and jive shit out to avoid talking about Coulter.

    4. HistoriCat

      Maybe it makes a difference if you use the word ending in "-ed" versus the base word.

      OK, why the hell am I trying to make sense of her bullshit?

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Breaking News: Track Romney, emboldened by values moral compass culture warrior Sarah Palin, has jived up his comments on taking a swing at the President.

      "Shit man, that brotha got me running cold upside his head."

  3. GunToting[Redacted]

    Sarah then commented on how President Obama had chosen to Re-Nig on his "close Gitmo" policy. She closed with a plea for her readers to visit her Etsy page to purchase her new Irish-dancing ghost Halloween decoration, named Boo.

  4. ingloriousbytch

    I'm still waiting for Sarah to comment on Ann Coulter's use of the R-word. I'm sure that post is coming any day now.

    1. Living in Joy

      To be fair, it probably took more than a couple of days for her ghost writer to come up with that Facebook post. Give her a few days. It's awhile to sort through the word salad that is Sarah Palin's thoughts.

  5. BeefHardcake

    Without a doubt, that's got to be a ghost poster administrating that page; there's no way in hell Palin can spell any word with greater than four letters in it, much less "Benghazi".

    1. Gleem McShineys

      Remember, she has all of those different college educations, which is why she is so super-smart.

  6. Loch_Nessosaur

    Because there just hasn't been enough stupid out there today this clam has to get in on it.

    Oh yeah, Bamz still isn't noticing you no matter how much you shake your tail at him.

    1. rmjagg

      " shake your tail " … if she didn't use it to whistle at guys , she might get lucky ,- as it is , it just makes her smell worse

      1. RomneysLogCabin

        If by borders, you mean labias, and by oil, you mean dignity, and by liberated, you mean pregnant with God's child.

        1. fatbob54

          Her dignity was liberated a long time ago. And by liberated, I mean abandoned in the dumpster behind the Greyhound station in Wasilla…

  7. Estproph

    Obama's campaign just keeps shufflin' along, lawdy he do like dat campaignin'. Sho nuff. He don' know nuthin' 'bout runnin' no country though. Lawdhamercy. He need him some chicken and' waffles.

    1. Negropolis

      Something something something "busting up the chifforobe" something something something "know what I'm sayin'?"

  8. Lucidamente1

    Shuck and Jive Shtick: that was the vaudeville act of my great uncle Morty Edelman, blackface Jewish comedian.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Here I was thinking it was the referring to the stylings of Irving & Washington, the great Jewish/Black song and dance duo of the 20s.

  9. Hammiepants

    Why anyone cares about the opinion of this trailer trash caribou-blowing crackmonkey escapes me. I've cleaned shit out of my shower grout that was more sentient.

  10. OneYieldRegular

    How long until we get the video of her grandson using a racial epithet he learned from Grandma?

  11. FNMA

    I think I'll wait until later to comment, when she posts something to the effect that those who call her a bigot are the real racists. You know it's coming…

    1. Stevola

      Doggie? Or that weird upside-down position in the gaping videos (that one of my friends likes to watch)?

  12. SexySmurf

    We’re sure she is is probably “unaware of any racial connotations to that term,” and that criticizing her is oppression of her FREEDUM OF SPEECH!

    She'll probably accuse her critics of trying to lynch her.

  13. Fox n Fiends

    The comments on her page are priceless. Life inside that bubble must be a sad and lonely place. Thank gawd the liberals invented facebook so they could find their soulmates.

  14. chicken_thief

    She can say shit like that, cause, you know, she has (had) a little* black in her.

    * No offense, Glenn.

  15. edgydrifter

    Looking at her post above, I declare that Twitter's greatest blessing to humanity is that it limits Palin's idiocy to small, survivable doses.

  16. Joshua Norton

    Snowbilly is still trying to live down the humiliation of never once being a "We hate you less than Mitt Romney" candidate of the week. I mean, c'mon, even Gingrich made the cut at one time.

  17. JustPixelz

    Comment in the screen shot: "4 dead Americans and the Obama minions could not care less".

    Reminds me of 9/12/2001: "3000 Americans killed by bin Laden and the Bush administration wants to invade Iraq."

    1. sullivanst

      Yes, because the only way to truly show you care about dead Americans is to attack the President using objectively false assertions before the attack which killed them is even over, and not, say, to mourn their loss, step up security for their colleagues in harm's way, and start to seek out their killers.

    2. Esteev

      This is America. Our perpetual state of fear can only be combated with a perpetual state of outrage.

  18. the_deliverator

    I would really just like them to say something like – "vote for our guy, he's white!" stop pretending otherwise, right? OWN YER RACISM, WINGNUTS!

  19. DaSandman

    I'll bet she doesn't talk like that when is visiting the Lakers locker room. Mainly because her mourh's too full

    Or was that just a girlish spree?

  20. Esteev

    Good god. The comments on that screen cap look like the musings of a homeschool kid who's gotten into his parent liquor cabinet.

  21. HRH_Maddie

    Simmer down, liberal jive turkeys. I'll do my black face act, we'll eat some chicken and watermelon and forget what a hateful bitch Sarah Palin is.

  22. KeepFnThatChicken

    So on November 7th, will Paul Ryan become the next also-ran commentator on Fox? Or does she have staying power because tits?

    1. tessiee

      Her real tits have long since passed their 15 minutes of fame. Those fake bolted on things she's got now are made out of the kind of plastic that would survive a nuclear war.

  23. pdiddycornchips

    Here's a serious question. Is there a tipping point, some threshold that once reached, would render either Sarah or Donald irrelevant? No? Didn't think so.

  24. Mittaplasia

    I thought Shrillbilly was too busy shoveling snow in L. A. to have time for her Facebook followers.

  25. DerrickWildcat

    Isn't there like 700 Islamic groups that say they have ties to al-qaeda and don't all 700 groups immediately claim responsibility for anything louder than a finger snap?

  26. Doktor Zoom

    The body of the post also says she's tired of Obama's "shuck and jive shtick." And as we know from Andy Kindler (10:18), "Don't be shticky" means "We Hate the Jews."

          1. tessiee

            If I'm remembering right, a schlemiel is a waiter who spills soup, a schlimazel is the customer who the soup lands on, and a schmendrick is the guy who asks what kind of soup it was.

    1. Mittaplasia

      Yeah, and if people didn't stop and gawk at every bad car wreck, our freeways wouldn't be so….CRASH!!!!

      See, we can't help ourselves!

  27. Doktor Zoom

    Also, too, is it even news that an al-Qaeda affiliate claimed credit for Benghazi? Hell, terrorist groups "claim credit" for just about every event regardless of their involvement, including natural gas leak explosions and natural disasters…

    1. MissTaken

      I took a shit this morning and an al-Qaeda linked cell has claimed responsibility for my fiber intake.

  28. FlownOver

    Also, too, please note she refrained from calling the President of the United States a "jive turkey," but only because she's in such trouble already with Galliform-Americans.

  29. Flat_Earther

    I used to have relations with a black basketball player. What they say about, you know, the size, well that is true. Oh sweet Jesus it was true. How can I be prejudice if f'ed the one of them, although he was probably stealing from me.


    p.s. Don’t tell Todd or any of those Southern racist that still send me money. And please don’t say anything to Faux News.

    1. tessiee

      it's overused (particularly for things that aren't at all funny, for some reason), but this really did make me laugh out loud.

  30. Radiotherapy

    Quit monkeying around Obama. Don't be lazy. Or uppity. What? Is Moochelle growing watermelons in the WH garden?

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      A specifically proper use of that word would be "Oh my, Sarah Palin's atoms are dissembling". Oh, wait. Maybe I am wrong here. Nevermind.

    1. HistoriCat

      Dear God, at least SP actually held office. Has Liz Cheney ever done anything except sponge off her family connections?

  31. rickmaci

    Some day soon, you Sarah Palin will be old, fat, grey haired, slobbering oatmeal down the front of your hospital gown and forgotten. And Barack Obama will still be called Mr. President. LOL.

    1. tessiee

      "grey haired"

      Please, under that shoe polish, it's been white as the driven snow for the last ten years.

  32. TribecaMike

    Poor thing, reduced to shrieking on Facebook and sleeping in the Fox Business Network's broom closet. Shouldn't happen to a dog, but it did.

  33. ElPinche

    That honkey lipped stunt be tr1ggin' out , jack! Her mama done dropped her on her dome too many times.!

  34. tessiee

    For some reason, I'm reminded of this:

    Lisa [about her doll's name]: All right. Now all we need is a name.

    Bart: How about Blabbermouth, the jerky doll for jerks?

    Lisa: How about Minerva, after the Roman goddess of wisdom?

    Stacy Lavelle: Ehh, not enough commercial appeal.

    Bart: Wendy Windbag? Ugly Doris? Hortense the Mule-Faced Doll!

    Stacy Lavelle: I think we should name her after Lisa. We'll call her Lisa Lionheart.

    Bart: No, Loudmouth Lisa! Stupid Lisa Garbage Face! [no one listens] I can't stand this any longer. Somebody please pay attention to me! Hello, pay attention to me! Look at me! I'm Bart, I'm Bart! Look at me, look at me, look at me!

  35. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    After posting this, SP turned to the wall and said "NO ONE OWNS THAT DOOR" and then threw a penny at the window and wept.

  36. Allmighty_Manos

    I've been thinking a lot about George McGovern and his political legacy – his commitment to moral principles and fair play, his genteel kindness, his willingness to cross party lines and put nation above partisanship, his inclusive Prairie Populism that is deeply rooted in this country's history.

    Some day, many years into the future when the Alaska governor has departed this world, a historian will study the legacy left behind by Sarah Palin and conclude: what a stupid, fucking cunt.

    1. mavenmaven

      As long as the right wingers on their hoverounds believe she is "hawt" she will be relevant to the Fox base.

  37. owhatever

    At least once a week, some wingnut leader has to blow the dog whistle of race to remind America that the President has the blood of the black man running in his veins. This is a stern warning that the white women will fall prey to their mandingoness, as Palin herself did.

  38. elfgoldsackring

    Soooo, is it really true that when people became an unproductive drain on the community's resources, the Inuit would abandon them on an ice floe? Just askin'.

  39. Anne_Athema

    Disassembling? Are you fucking kidding me? She in NO way wrote this piece. Maybe she heard this term somewhere at some time. Teetering around in those fug wedges must have knocked it loose in that empty head of hers, because I can picture her hovering over the shoulder of her ghost writer(s), poking them with her bony fingers, moose breath hissing: "Dang it! You get that shuckin' & jivin' in there somehow, or , I'll launch those cans at you, and not the fridge. Tooodddddd! Get the canned goods! Now!"

    1. TribecaMike

      Back in the day when I was in the publishing racket, there was a truism that no celebrity has ever written their own copy.

    2. Negropolis

      because I can picture her hovering over the shoulder of her ghost writer(s), poking them with her bony fingers, moose breath hissing

      That was most excellent. Are you a writer?

  40. nancyc1963

    Just because Sarah's got some black in her when she boned Glen Rice doesn't give her the cred to use shuck & jive. She needs to mind her business stop her jealousy of Team Obama….maybe she wants to shuck and jive with the current prez – seems she's got some jungle fever goin' on.

  41. Schmegeg

    I am deeply troubled that she exercises these freedoms while manufacturing and selling methamphetamine out of her garage.

Comments are closed.