From Wonkette’s Own Jesse Berney, a counteroffer that Mitt Romney would be a fool to turn down!
The real news here is, of course, that someone who blogs for Wonkette has a hundred bucks on hand. That may actually be more surprising than anything Donald Trump said.
Also, too, another announcement that eclipses the significance of anything Trump said today:
(Yes, we realize that there is not enough graph paper on the planet to make a Venn diagram that includes the set “things that eclipse the significance of anything Trump said today… or ever”)
[YouTube]
{ 110 comments }
Donald Trump should be forced to endure the unspeakable horror of having to listen to Donald Trump.
I can't trust someone who has books in the background over someone who has Trump Steaks.
I thought they were Trump Steaks BOOKS with nice juicy popups for hard core carnivores to fap to.
Why, exactly, is this Trump person "famous"?
Same reason Paris Hilton is famous.
Sex tapes?
GAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHH!
*faints
DO NOT WANT.
There's a Trump sex tape?
OK, I'm *trying* to eat my lunch here, dude…
To repeat, DO NOT WANT.
I wonder what his hair-beast would look like in night vision mode.
Awww. Don't talk about Ivana that way.
Have you seen the movie "Troll Hunter" (and you should)? Kinda like that.
And Sarah Palin.
Buttsecks?
Why, exactly, is this Trump person "famous"?
For coining the phrase "Trump times never last, Trump people do."
He claimed — and deep down, really was convinced — it was an original. Right down to the addendum of a punchline, "… and the same is true of cockroaches!"
…and Keith Richards will outlast them all!
Trump's response: "Kid, I wipe my ass with hundred-dollar bills."
I thought he had people to do that.
You're both wrong.
Nobody wipes his ass, because all the shit comes out of his mouth.
Bwahahahahaha!!!!1!!1
Trump is so dumb he buys toilet paper printed with instructions.
Bwhahahahhahahhahahahhahahaha. Damn. My keyboard is now soaked in coffee.
Being a total ass, how would he know where to start and stop?
Gee Donald, shamless self-promotion much? Douchebag!
Certified Angus beef prime douchbag
Buying meat at the Sharper Image is like buying a foot massager at Safeway.
…or taking political advice from a world-famous conniving liar.
NEEDZ MOAR PONEEZ!1!!1
And stabby, stabby (with votes obvs) bayonets.
Not shouty and yelly enough.
WHAT?
Ron Popeil called. He wants his pitch back.
Said it and forget it?
The Pocket Taxman
You know Mitt Romney would just agree to this, and then say (in the same breath) he had no fucking idea what you were talking about or what money was, or youtube.
Blind trust. He knows what those are. And he knows how to direct the investments in blind trusts too.
How does he know this? Because he's a fucking asshole, duh.
…or tax returns.
He knows where the Cayman Islands are.
Jesse, you have to be more specific — do you want to see Romney's original tax returns or just the amended ones that his accountant summarized that make it look like he paid taxes?
The ones locked away in the Caymans bank, the ones that haven't been shredded, silly.
Yeah, "as filed" would be a good addition.
Normally I don't buy my food at the Sharper Image, but I assume that they feed the TRUMP SKEAKS cows gold-plated wheat?
Oh that's rich.
Yes, but are the steaks yuuuuug?
and with that $100 for the charity of your choice, we will throw in a world map.
How many times is this man going to publicly demonstrate the Dunning-Kruger Effect?
AOT, K
Wait, Wonkette pays in something other than Ameros or Bitcoins?
The Snark Road
It's direct deposit through Paypal, right?
In roubles, the commies.
All together: "Hobo Beans & Whore Diamonds!!"
Trump Steaks — The world's only premium steaks that are loud and taste like ass.
But oh so tender, because rumor has it that Trump beats his meat early and often, with alacrity. Even.
As I watched the bloviator extraordinaire verbally vomit, I kept expecting a steaming turd to be extruded form his mouth, since his lips look much like a dialating asshole.
I'll give Romney $100 if he shows his college transcripts.
Or his tax returns.
I don't want to see The Donald's taxes. I want to see what's under the honey badger on top of his head. Wait…maybe I don't–okay, taxes are fine!
Don't judge me but I kinda want to try one of those steaks.
Don't judge me but I kinda want to try one of those Trumps.
Can we share?
Bolt ons. As bad as her old man's comb over.
There's got to be some way in which we can glue Trump and the Kardashians to Arizona and just sell the whole mess to the Messican drug cartels.
As what?
Steaks.
For someone who's made his name and his gain on assessing the potential value of things for sale, purchase and resale; Trump's utter lack of self-appraisal might be sadder than his craven wealth.
I'll have a hundred bucks on Friday, thats payday! But not for long.
The steaks in this election are uuuuuuge.
Why can't we have Sir Richard Branson? Do you suppose the UK would trade?
Not if they have an ounce of common sense.
I sometimes wonder if civilization was really worth it. I mean, in olden days, someone like Trump would've been clubbed and eaten a long time ago, just for existing.
It's not too late.
When I saw "Trump steaks" I got excited because I thought someone had taken Trump to a slaughterhouse.
Of votes! A messy, smelly slaughterhouse of votes.
Mr, Trump
IRS on line one. Something about an audit sir.
"Tell them I'm not in."
"…they're down stairs, sir."
I'll bet you $10,000 he doesn't take it.
"Well Jesse, if you'd just get a job you'd realize that a hundred bucks doesn't go far in this economy. What are you, poor?" — Donald Trump
You should prolly hide that $100 in the cayman islands. I heard that's where people with money put their money. I wouldn't know.
Trump deserves a kick in the junk so hard his marbles come out his steak hole.
~
Trump, junk, hard and his hole. I'll be in my vomitorium for the rest of the day.
Just think of it as "a gift from God," Donald.
Trump steaks is PEOPLE!!!11!
Make it a brazillion, and I'm in. kkkkkkkk!
I don't think the Founding Fathers gave us the miracle of free speech so we would be forced to endure the ravings of a pouty, narcissistic nutter whose only joy in life seems to come from blathering into a camera. Who do the Murkin people have to fuck to get this guy to go away?
One question. Is Jesse Brasilian? Kkkkkkk
How much is that in Hobo Beans?
Can we throw a set of steak knives too? Literally?
Romney doesn't recognize $20 bills.
It's near the end of the month, but I scraped up $20 to give to Trump for proof that the thing on his head has its rabies vaccine up-to-date.
What a twist!
Something about night deposit boxes comes to mind…
I'll give $100 if someone can find a transcript of Donnie saying anything intelligent.
If you want to give Ringo less, it's up to you. I'd rather not get involved.
Do the Trump Steaks come from actual Trumps?
If "Wonketeer" is the term for someone who "blogs for Wonkette", what is the correct label for us lowly commenters?
Wonkers.
Wonkeratti
It's probably silly to point this out but why isn't The Trump yelling for the tax returns? He all truthy n shit…
Any Democratic politician whose response to Trump doesn't include the words 'Romney', 'tax' and 'returns' will be shot.
What, he has already removed the video????
Well crap, the videos been removed. I really wanted to see what a $100 bill looked like.
Okay, so which one of you cheeky bastards is Jesse? lol
Is the Donald willing to show his bank statement? Not for nothing, but he has too many BK's and divorces on his record to be sure he actually has the cash.
"Mitt Romney would be a fool to turn down" You had him at "fool."
What is it with you and your Trump videos? Not gonna do it.
Is there anything Trump won't put his name on?
Yes, the pre-nup.
Comments on this entry are closed.